September 25, 2025 • 27 mins
Lori Smith never imagined she'd find herself sitting alone in a dark parking lot, tears streaming down her face, begging God for direction after her world collapsed. As publisher and executive editor of Life Media Group—a thriving media company with eight newspapers across Florida's Emerald Coast—Lori now radiates confidence and purpose. But the road to her current success required navigating through extraordinary pain.
"I lost everything," Lori reveals in this raw, emotional conversation with host Valerie Peterson. Her story unfolds as she details facing a painful divorce after a decade of trying to save her marriage, mourning her mother's death, enduring financial devastation, and relocating to a community where she knew no one—all simultaneously. The image of Lori crying in her car before work, during lunch breaks, and on the drive home paints a vivid picture of someone in pure survival mode.
The turning point came through divine intervention when, during her darkest moment, she heard God audibly release her from her marriage—a direction that contradicted everything she believed about divorce. This moment of clarity didn't eliminate her suffering but provided the permission she needed to move forward. Throughout this valley, Lori clung to specific worship songs that articulated her pain when she couldn't find words to pray, and to the promise that faith "the size of a mustard seed" was enough to sustain her.
What makes Lori's testimony particularly powerful is her transformation from brokenness to becoming what she calls a "marketplace minister"—someone who brings Christ's presence into professional settings without formal ministry credentials. Now leading a successful media company, she prays with clients, speaks hope into business relationships, and uses her platform to influence others for Christ. Her journey proves that our darkest moments don't define us—they can become the very experiences God uses to equip us for greater impact and purpose.
Ready to experience hope in your own journey? Listen to Lori's full testimony and discover how faith can sustain you through your darkest valleys. Connect with Lori at lori@lifemediagrp.com or visit MyDestinLife.com to learn more about her work in the community.
For more information contact us at
rtrdestiny@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Well welcome.
This is Road to Redemption.
I'm Valerie Peterson and I havea very special guest here today
.
She is Lori Smith.
I know many of you know her,but Lori is the publisher and
executive editor of Life MediaGroup.
Can you just share a little bitabout your position before we
(00:35):
get going and what you do inthis community?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We are a multimedia company where we have eight
newspapers now in each communityon the Emerald Coast and we are
serving communities such asDestin, fort, walton Beach,
south Walton, freeport now witha new one about to launch, with
(01:09):
a new one about to launch and weare also in Niceville and the
whole north of the Bay Area inPanama City Beach.
So we are out in the community,we're doing great things,
telling stories of people andplaces and events and things
happening in the community, andwe direct mail those into
people's homes and businessesand they just love it.
We represent Christ in so manyways.
(01:32):
We are not a Christiannewspaper, so to speak, but
we're not afraid to go there.
So somebody who picks up thepaper that is mainstream is
going to get the gospel.
If they're reading the paper,they're going to get it in there
.
So I just wanted to add thatreal quick.
Yes, I'm glad you did.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And that's our mission, that's one of our
purposes.
We truly believe this is God'sbusiness.
You know, lori, I want to sayto you I so admire you.
You are such an influencer, youare such an influencer and you
really are an influencer forChrist, and I would love for you
to start by sharing yourtestimony with our listeners
today.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So, yes, it wasn't always that way.
We go through things in life.
Personally, that affects ourbusiness many, many times.
And so a few years ago I was inBirmingham and I found myself
going through a divorce and mymarriage was falling apart.
(02:38):
And not only that, my mom haddied and there were several
things going on financially thatI found out about later.
But there were so many thingsgoing on and even moving here
and moving to a new place that Ididn't know, leaving my
(03:00):
hometown, leaving all my friendsand coming to this area and in
fact, I had like the top 10stressors you know if you read
about what those are, I had themall and they were overlapping
and all kinds of stuff and itwas just an incredibly,
incredibly challenging time.
(03:23):
And you know, when you gothrough things like that,
there's an array of emotionsthat happen.
And you find yourself, you know, mourning, and then you feel
guilty.
When you know things aren'tworking out, you feel like it's
your fault and then you evenexperience anger.
You could.
(03:43):
There's so many realms ofemotions that you can go through
Right and it just becomes avery hopeless situation
sometimes.
Or you feel like it is.
It's not really and, lookingback on it, but you feel that
way and you feel like you're afailure.
(04:04):
Feel that way and you feel likeyou're a failure, and when you
can't, it's out of control andyou feel very alone.
And that's where I was, val.
I moved here, I didn't knowanyone, I was it.
It took three years to gothrough the divorce and the
whole time you know you're.
You know one point I'm thinking, oh.
(04:25):
I'm thinking, oh, this is notright.
I don't want to do this.
Divorce wasn't even in myvocabulary.
I thought God would be mad atme.
I spent years and years tryingto stay in it.
I really did.
I did everything I could, fromA to Z.
I really did.
I did everything I could from Ato Z, and still I truly believe
(04:48):
God released me.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Would you be willing to share?
There was a moment, as Iremember, reading about you in
an article that you knew butknew that it was okay.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I got to a point where I would get in my car
every day and go to work.
I would cry the whole way towork, I would go to work and
then I would put on my happyface and then, once lunchtime
came around, I'd get back in mycar and drive around and cry
again, and then after work, Iwould cry some more on the way
(05:28):
home.
And one pivotal night I did gohome and some things occurred
and I got back in my car andstarted driving around and I was
just crying.
I was just asking God, god,what do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
I was just at the end, I justdidn't have anything else in me.
(05:51):
And he said and you've got apicture of this I'm sitting in a
dark parking lot at like eighto'clock at night in October, so
it's pitch black, dark and I'mjust crying and crying.
Lord, what do you want me to do?
I just want to do what you wantme to do.
I'm going to be in line withyour will.
And I just don't know what thatis.
(06:11):
I didn't know what it was and Iliterally heard, all of a
sudden I now release you fromthis marriage.
And even then, even then, I satthere and I kind of stopped
crying.
You know, it's kind of likethis abrupt stop and I said,
surely, god, that's not what youwant.
I literally said that to Godand he said it again I now
(06:33):
release you from this marriage.
And I had spent a decade tryingto stay, trying to do
everything I knew to do, andafter that my whole perspective
and my whole demeanor changedand I knew that I had to obey
God.
I knew, I knew that I did, andsome people probably don't
(06:55):
understand that, but I knew that, I knew that.
I knew that was one of the veryfew times I've actually heard
God audibly talk to me.
I've actually heard God audiblytalk to me.
So, in saying that that was apivotal moment in time but it
(07:16):
did push me forward, but itdidn't mean that I didn't still
feel the feelings or go throughthe emotions of the incredible
loss and the mourning of losingmy marriage and for my children
and I want to stop you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, Then you had the loss of your mom, so I'm
thinking you know those are twolike significant losses that you
were walking through at thattime.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Absolutely, and people don't realize it affects
everything you do and eventhough, as I said, I was walking
into the office and putting onmy happy face, you know, and
trying to go through the motions, if you will, because I cared
very deeply about my work andwhat I did and the people, what
I did and the people, but surelythey knew, you know, even if
(08:05):
you try to hide those things youknow, you know in a
professional environment, Ithink some people still know and
they still see through that.
But the incredible alonenessthat you feel going through that
(08:26):
.
And there was three songs.
One of those songs was neveralone, by barlow girl, and um,
some of the words are and I feltlike I was singing these, but,
um, some of them are.
I waited for you but you didn'tshow.
I needed you today.
So where did you go?
(08:48):
You told me to call, said you'dbe there and though I haven't
seen you, are you still there?
I cried out with no reply and Ican't feel you by my side.
So I'll hold tight anyway towhat I know You're here and I'm
never alone.
(09:08):
I just would sing that over andover again through my tears,
talking about powerful yes andsomewhere deep, deep down inside
I knew God was there and thathe was holding me, even if I
didn't feel like it or even if Ididn't see Him or hear Him even
(09:30):
during those times.
And I believe that I did.
But I just was under such anoppression at the time and so
lost feeling.
Because going through that andgoing through the decade of
trying to hold my marriagetogether, val, you lose yourself
.
Sometimes you lose yourself.
(09:52):
You don't know what you like.
You don't even know what moviesyou like to see or what your
interests are, or just yourhobbies.
You don't have anything youspend, for some people spend so
much time trying to please theirhusbands and I lost myself.
(10:13):
So my identity at that time Godbrought me to my knees and my
identity was in Him and I knewthat.
So somewhere deep down inside,but at the same time I was
looking for myself.
Yeah, you know, and I knew hehad the answer.
It was like such a survival.
I was in Just survival,absolutely.
I knew he had the answer.
It was like such a survival.
(10:33):
I was in Just survival,absolutely.
I was trying to survive life.
You know, I knew that and Godhad impressed upon me.
He said never say anythingnegative.
Never say anything negativeabout your husband.
Never say anything negative.
You are not a victim, you arean overcomer, and I am here for
(10:54):
you.
And you continue to get upevery day, put one foot down on
the floor and then put anotherfoot down on the floor and walk,
and he would tell me he did.
And I knew just somewhere in myspirit.
I knew, I knew I just had towalk and look forward.
I couldn't.
I knew I just had to walk andlook forward.
I couldn't look back, I justhad to move forward.
(11:16):
I had to move forward, I had tomove forward.
What was the other song Can youshare?
Yes, yes.
When I was talking about feelinglike I had lost my identity as
Lori, there was another song whoAm I?
By Casting Crowns, and it sayswho am I?
(11:40):
That the Lord of all the earthwould care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt, notbecause of who I am, but because
of what you've done.
Not because of what you've done, but because of who you are.
Still, you hear me when I'mcalling Lord.
You catch me when I'm falling.
(12:00):
I felt like I was falling, Itruly did.
And you've told me who I am?
I am yours, I am yours.
And who am I that the eyes thatsee my sin would look on me
with love and watch me riseagain?
Who am I that the eyes that seemy sin would look on me with
love and watch me rise again?
Who am I that the voice thatcalmed the sea would call out
(12:21):
through the rain See, I wasgoing through the storm, many
storms.
I felt like there were severalstorms and calm the storm in me
Because, you see, I was goingnot only through the loss of my
marriage and the breakup of myfamily and the loss of my mom,
(12:42):
but I was going throughfinancial.
I was going through moving to anew place where I didn't know
hardly anyone.
I was going through having togo back into the workforce after
having my own business for 19years and trying to.
You know, I didn't even knowthe lingo anymore, the
(13:04):
professional lingo.
I didn't even know how to dothat.
But God and I was going throughall these things and it was
just of such magnitude.
But the one thing I do want tosay is that I did lose
everything.
I absolutely lost everything,monetarily speaking, but I
(13:28):
didn't lose my children and Iwould thank God.
I would thank God every day.
I have three beautiful childrenand I would thank Him every
single day.
Thank you, lord, for my kids,thank you for them.
Thank you for them Because Ifelt like that was it and that's
really all that mattered.
Yeah, because I knew deep downhe would take care of me.
(13:51):
But there is still a fear theretoo.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know, speak to the listeners today that are
really going through loss,depression, despair.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I would say that the feelings are real, the
hopelessness you feel is real,the aloneness you feel is very
real, and just the suffering andthe heartache that you feel is
(14:34):
real.
But, just like the fear, god isthere and you have to know on
the inside that he is there foryou.
You are His, he is yours andyou can call to Him and he will
answer you and show you greatand mighty things that you do
(14:56):
not know.
And you do not have the spiritof fear.
You're an overcomer.
You have strength through him.
You have that fight in you.
You have the will to moveforward and move on.
If you will allow Him to takeyou and allow Him to cover you
(15:17):
with His blood and allow Him to,if he has to bring you to your
knees so that he is all you haveand he can lift you up, just
like the words of these songs hecan he will be right there for
(15:38):
you and you are an overcomer.
You're not a victim and you,you know, even though you feel
like it, and those wounds willbe healed.
Sometimes it's a process, as itwas for me for many years.
I wasn't able to talk aboutthis, even bring it up, for
three years.
Three years, and you know, overthe years I've been able to
(16:08):
slowly um tell my story and andbring it out a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But as you're talking , I'm thinking about the verse
in micah 7, 8 don't gloat overme, my enemies, when I have
fallen, for I shall arise.
Yes, he does help us to getback up.
He does, and you probably couldtestify to this.
He says he has us by the handin Isaiah 41.10.
Behold, I am the Lord, your God, who takes you by the hand.
(16:31):
Do not fear, I will help you.
Yes, there's days I bet you'relike Lord.
Take me by the hand today, oh,yes.
Help me to take it one step at atime.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And still and still, to this day.
You know he said be anxious fornothing, but in everything, by
prayer and petition, make yourrequest known to me.
And the peace I think that'svery important the peace that
passes all understanding willguard your heart and mind in
Christ Jesus, and I don't knowif I said that exactly, but I
(17:08):
would cling to that and I wouldpray for peace, because when
you're going through somethinglike this, you feel no peace but
your feelings are a liar andGod is not, and God's word
stands.
And go to God's word.
I would tell you, go to God'sword, pray and find those people
(17:30):
in the Bible who have gonethrough similar circumstances,
because what greatly comfortedme was that and from the words
of these songs, knowing that Iwasn't the only one going
through this, that there areother people that feel the same
way I do, and that somehow gaveme some comfort.
But there would be pivotaltimes that God would give me
(17:54):
peace and move forward in that.
Where you feel peace, moveforward in that and let him just
let go, and let him take youand let and blossom you into who
you are.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Lori, I remember you telling me that a verse that you
hung on to was Matthew 17, 20.
If you have faith, a grain of amustard seed.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Can you talk?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
about that.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh, yes, you know, val, there's so much, there's so
much that I could say that wewon't get in today, honestly.
But I did tell you that if youhave faith as of a mustard seed,
oh my goodness, and I would sayto myself all the time, I would
say Lord, as I was crying out.
I would say, lord, I know Ihave faith of a mustard seed
(18:41):
because it's teeny, tiny and Iknow that I have at least that
bit of faith.
And you said, you said youpromised that, even if you have
a faith of a mustard seed, thatyou could take that and make it
grow, and make it, because Ifelt like I almost felt like I
lost, I was almost about to losemy faith.
(19:01):
And I'm sure there are manypeople out there that are, yes,
that feel that way.
And I would tell you, justpicture a mustard seed.
I actually had a littlebracelet that was made up of
mustard seeds and I would lookat it and I would say, lord, I
know, no, I have faith of amustard seed.
(19:22):
And I stand on that and I amgoing, I'm praying that, you
know, and I would, I would just,I would almost get indignant
with it.
And he honors that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
He really does and I look at you and you are an
example of I.
He says I'll restore the yearsthe locust has eaten.
I look at you and therestoration that has happened in
your life.
I just believe it's going togive other people hope.
You know it says in Hebrews 6,19,.
Hope is an anchor.
(19:53):
It keeps us firm and secureright, and you are bringing hope
to our listeners today.
Thank you so much for justbeing transparent and honest.
You know we have talked aboutmarketplace ministry.
You are a marketplace minister.
I read that you we didn't eventalk about this, but you said in
(20:17):
an article my purpose forexisting is to help people come
to know Him, meaning Christ.
Yes, can you talk a little bitabout that?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yes, the thought that comes to my mind right now is
that the latter is greater thanthe former.
The latter is greater than theformer.
And Val, you and many othersspoke that into my life.
And, though it's a process, godgives you these little nuggets
and these little treats alongthe way to let you know he's
(20:52):
there and to let you know thathe's building you up.
But I would pray all the time.
Lord, what do you want me to do?
What is my calling?
And I was so afraid that Ididn't know my calling and that
I would miss it.
I would be so afraid I wouldmiss that and I just would pray
(21:15):
it all the time.
And it took me many years untilI realized.
And one day God just said youare a marketplace minister.
And I was, because, you know, Iused to think I needed to go
into the ministry to serve him.
No, I was given an opportunityby Dave White, who had started
(21:49):
Sew All Life and he wanted toexpand into Destin.
And it took a little while tothink about it.
And then I just said okay,because I knew the Lord wanted
me out in the marketplacesomehow.
But I still hadn't put all thepieces together.
So I one day heard him and Irealized that's what I was doing
(22:15):
.
And then I knew my calling.
I don't even know how to explainthat but as being in marketing
and PR and all the things awriter, editor and all these
things that I'm doing, I get togo see clients.
I get to pray with them.
I get to sometimes, if God willnudge me and say, hey, they're
(22:39):
having a bad day pray with them.
I pray over our advertisers.
I am able to be out therehopefully leading my life the
way God wants me to lead it, andjust be out in the marketplace.
It's a ministry.
It is a ministry and there arepeople looking for answers, even
(23:02):
in work, even in theirprofessional lives.
And if God can speak through meand help me, help them, then
that's my place, that's myposition and that's really my
identity is through him.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
You know I do want to dialogue with you on a couple
of things in closing, and Ithink you can relate to this.
I'm going to encourage ourlisteners John Martin always
really loves to encourage ourlisteners to get in the word.
The word transforms us To finda Christ-centered church and,
(23:42):
lastly, find a small group, findcommunity, because that verse
iron sharpens iron.
When we are in community,people speak into our lives and
we can speak into other people'slives.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
So anything you want to say on those three points in
closing, Well, I would just saythis A lot of times you don't
feel like your prayers arereaching God, but prayer changes
things and most of the timewhen I am praying and I have a
(24:18):
loss for words, I pray the word,and that's the most powerful,
because you know that that'sGod's will.
So when you're praying the wordand sometimes Val, I'll just
take a psalm, and it might bethe day, the date of the day,
like today is what the 19th, andI will take Psalm 19, and I
(24:39):
will put myself in it or othersthat I need to pray for, and I
will put myself in it or othersthat I need to pray for, and I
will put my name in there and Iwill pray that Psalm for that
day.
And that's a great way to do it.
You can pray the Psalms and theProverbs.
That's just a great way to prayand I pray like that a lot.
And as far as a church, yes,it's very important to be
(25:01):
connected to a local church andto really get to know people in
a small group.
But I will say one thing aboutcommunity, and that is as a
workplace minister, when you areout in the community and people
see you and you're talking tothem and you're talking to them.
(25:22):
You don't have to hit them overthe head with spiritual matters,
but if it's in you it's goingto come out and they know that
and you gain their trust.
And so being out in thecommunity, gaining goodwill,
networking as a representativeof not only our business, I'm a
representative of Christ, andwhen things get rough and things
(25:50):
are not going the way somebodymay want them to, you may be the
one they come to Because you'vebeen there and they see a depth
in you that others don't have,maybe in their workplace or out
with their clients.
So it's very, I would say,community is just one of the
(26:14):
utmost importance and that's whyI love, love, love what I do,
because it's not work for me,because you know, some of it is,
of course, two in the morningwhen I'm on my computer and I'm
working, but most of the timeI'm out, I'm out in the public
and I'm seeing people and itmakes a huge difference in what
(26:40):
you do.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Lori, if someone wanted to contact you or find
out more information about LifeMedia Group, where can they go?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They can hit one of our websites.
We have several, actually.
It's.
Mydestinlifecom is one of themand they can always email me if
they want to laurie atlifemediagrpcom.
And they can pick up anewspaper in any of these
(27:13):
communities that we've discussedand they'll see my contact
information in there, orsomeone's who's ever
spearheading that particularpublication, and you can pick
those up.
If you don't get one in yourmailbox, you can pick one up at
Publix or Winn-Dixie Whole Foods, several restaurants, the
(27:35):
chambers and community centersAwesome, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
We so appreciate you coming on.
I hope you come back, john, andI just appreciate you and your
transparency and just God blessyou.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You've been listening to Road to Redemption.
Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Well welcome.
This is Road to Redemption.
I'm Valerie Peterson and I havea very special guest here today
.
She is Lori Smith.
I know many of you know her,but Lori is the publisher and
executive editor of Life MediaGroup.
Can you just share a little bitabout your position before we
(00:35):
get going and what you do inthis community?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We are a multimedia company where we have eight
newspapers now in each communityon the Emerald Coast and we are
serving communities such asDestin, fort, walton Beach,
south Walton, freeport now witha new one about to launch, with
(01:09):
a new one about to launch and weare also in Niceville and the
whole north of the Bay Area inPanama City Beach.
So we are out in the community,we're doing great things,
telling stories of people andplaces and events and things
happening in the community, andwe direct mail those into
people's homes and businessesand they just love it.
We represent Christ in so manyways.
(01:32):
We are not a Christiannewspaper, so to speak, but
we're not afraid to go there.
So somebody who picks up thepaper that is mainstream is
going to get the gospel.
If they're reading the paper,they're going to get it in there
.
So I just wanted to add thatreal quick.
Yes, I'm glad you did.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And that's our mission, that's one of our
purposes.
We truly believe this is God'sbusiness.
You know, lori, I want to sayto you I so admire you.
You are such an influencer, youare such an influencer and you
really are an influencer forChrist, and I would love for you
to start by sharing yourtestimony with our listeners
today.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So, yes, it wasn't always that way.
We go through things in life.
Personally, that affects ourbusiness many, many times.
And so a few years ago I was inBirmingham and I found myself
going through a divorce and mymarriage was falling apart.
(02:38):
And not only that, my mom haddied and there were several
things going on financially thatI found out about later.
But there were so many thingsgoing on and even moving here
and moving to a new place that Ididn't know, leaving my
(03:00):
hometown, leaving all my friendsand coming to this area and in
fact, I had like the top 10stressors you know if you read
about what those are, I had themall and they were overlapping
and all kinds of stuff and itwas just an incredibly,
incredibly challenging time.
(03:23):
And you know, when you gothrough things like that,
there's an array of emotionsthat happen.
And you find yourself, you know, mourning, and then you feel
guilty.
When you know things aren'tworking out, you feel like it's
your fault and then you evenexperience anger.
You could.
(03:43):
There's so many realms ofemotions that you can go through
Right and it just becomes avery hopeless situation
sometimes.
Or you feel like it is.
It's not really and, lookingback on it, but you feel that
way and you feel like you're afailure.
(04:04):
Feel that way and you feel likeyou're a failure, and when you
can't, it's out of control andyou feel very alone.
And that's where I was, val.
I moved here, I didn't knowanyone, I was it.
It took three years to gothrough the divorce and the
whole time you know you're.
You know one point I'm thinking, oh.
(04:25):
I'm thinking, oh, this is notright.
I don't want to do this.
Divorce wasn't even in myvocabulary.
I thought God would be mad atme.
I spent years and years tryingto stay in it.
I really did.
I did everything I could, fromA to Z.
I really did.
I did everything I could from Ato Z, and still I truly believe
(04:48):
God released me.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Would you be willing to share?
There was a moment, as Iremember, reading about you in
an article that you knew butknew that it was okay.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I got to a point where I would get in my car
every day and go to work.
I would cry the whole way towork, I would go to work and
then I would put on my happyface and then, once lunchtime
came around, I'd get back in mycar and drive around and cry
again, and then after work, Iwould cry some more on the way
(05:28):
home.
And one pivotal night I did gohome and some things occurred
and I got back in my car andstarted driving around and I was
just crying.
I was just asking God, god,what do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
I was just at the end, I justdidn't have anything else in me.
(05:51):
And he said and you've got apicture of this I'm sitting in a
dark parking lot at like eighto'clock at night in October, so
it's pitch black, dark and I'mjust crying and crying.
Lord, what do you want me to do?
I just want to do what you wantme to do.
I'm going to be in line withyour will.
And I just don't know what thatis.
(06:11):
I didn't know what it was and Iliterally heard, all of a
sudden I now release you fromthis marriage.
And even then, even then, I satthere and I kind of stopped
crying.
You know, it's kind of likethis abrupt stop and I said,
surely, god, that's not what youwant.
I literally said that to Godand he said it again I now
(06:33):
release you from this marriage.
And I had spent a decade tryingto stay, trying to do
everything I knew to do, andafter that my whole perspective
and my whole demeanor changedand I knew that I had to obey
God.
I knew, I knew that I did, andsome people probably don't
(06:55):
understand that, but I knew that, I knew that.
I knew that was one of the veryfew times I've actually heard
God audibly talk to me.
I've actually heard God audiblytalk to me.
So, in saying that that was apivotal moment in time but it
(07:16):
did push me forward, but itdidn't mean that I didn't still
feel the feelings or go throughthe emotions of the incredible
loss and the mourning of losingmy marriage and for my children
and I want to stop you.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes, Then you had the loss of your mom, so I'm
thinking you know those are twolike significant losses that you
were walking through at thattime.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Absolutely, and people don't realize it affects
everything you do and eventhough, as I said, I was walking
into the office and putting onmy happy face, you know, and
trying to go through the motions, if you will, because I cared
very deeply about my work andwhat I did and the people, what
I did and the people, but surelythey knew, you know, even if
(08:05):
you try to hide those things youknow, you know in a
professional environment, Ithink some people still know and
they still see through that.
But the incredible alonenessthat you feel going through that
(08:26):
.
And there was three songs.
One of those songs was neveralone, by barlow girl, and um,
some of the words are and I feltlike I was singing these, but,
um, some of them are.
I waited for you but you didn'tshow.
I needed you today.
So where did you go?
(08:48):
You told me to call, said you'dbe there and though I haven't
seen you, are you still there?
I cried out with no reply and Ican't feel you by my side.
So I'll hold tight anyway towhat I know You're here and I'm
never alone.
(09:08):
I just would sing that over andover again through my tears,
talking about powerful yes andsomewhere deep, deep down inside
I knew God was there and thathe was holding me, even if I
didn't feel like it or even if Ididn't see Him or hear Him even
(09:30):
during those times.
And I believe that I did.
But I just was under such anoppression at the time and so
lost feeling.
Because going through that andgoing through the decade of
trying to hold my marriagetogether, val, you lose yourself
.
Sometimes you lose yourself.
(09:52):
You don't know what you like.
You don't even know what moviesyou like to see or what your
interests are, or just yourhobbies.
You don't have anything youspend, for some people spend so
much time trying to please theirhusbands and I lost myself.
(10:13):
So my identity at that time Godbrought me to my knees and my
identity was in Him and I knewthat.
So somewhere deep down inside,but at the same time I was
looking for myself.
Yeah, you know, and I knew hehad the answer.
It was like such a survival.
I was in Just survival,absolutely.
I knew he had the answer.
It was like such a survival.
(10:33):
I was in Just survival,absolutely.
I was trying to survive life.
You know, I knew that and Godhad impressed upon me.
He said never say anythingnegative.
Never say anything negativeabout your husband.
Never say anything negative.
You are not a victim, you arean overcomer, and I am here for
(10:54):
you.
And you continue to get upevery day, put one foot down on
the floor and then put anotherfoot down on the floor and walk,
and he would tell me he did.
And I knew just somewhere in myspirit.
I knew, I knew I just had towalk and look forward.
I couldn't.
I knew I just had to walk andlook forward.
I couldn't look back, I justhad to move forward.
(11:16):
I had to move forward, I had tomove forward.
What was the other song Can youshare?
Yes, yes.
When I was talking about feelinglike I had lost my identity as
Lori, there was another song whoAm I?
By Casting Crowns, and it sayswho am I?
(11:40):
That the Lord of all the earthwould care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt, notbecause of who I am, but because
of what you've done.
Not because of what you've done, but because of who you are.
Still, you hear me when I'mcalling Lord.
You catch me when I'm falling.
(12:00):
I felt like I was falling, Itruly did.
And you've told me who I am?
I am yours, I am yours.
And who am I that the eyes thatsee my sin would look on me
with love and watch me riseagain?
Who am I that the eyes that seemy sin would look on me with
love and watch me rise again?
Who am I that the voice thatcalmed the sea would call out
(12:21):
through the rain See, I wasgoing through the storm, many
storms.
I felt like there were severalstorms and calm the storm in me
Because, you see, I was goingnot only through the loss of my
marriage and the breakup of myfamily and the loss of my mom,
(12:42):
but I was going throughfinancial.
I was going through moving to anew place where I didn't know
hardly anyone.
I was going through having togo back into the workforce after
having my own business for 19years and trying to.
You know, I didn't even knowthe lingo anymore, the
(13:04):
professional lingo.
I didn't even know how to dothat.
But God and I was going throughall these things and it was
just of such magnitude.
But the one thing I do want tosay is that I did lose
everything.
I absolutely lost everything,monetarily speaking, but I
(13:28):
didn't lose my children and Iwould thank God.
I would thank God every day.
I have three beautiful childrenand I would thank Him every
single day.
Thank you, lord, for my kids,thank you for them.
Thank you for them Because Ifelt like that was it and that's
really all that mattered.
Yeah, because I knew deep downhe would take care of me.
(13:51):
But there is still a fear theretoo.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know, speak to the listeners today that are
really going through loss,depression, despair.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I would say that the feelings are real, the
hopelessness you feel is real,the aloneness you feel is very
real, and just the suffering andthe heartache that you feel is
(14:34):
real.
But, just like the fear, god isthere and you have to know on
the inside that he is there foryou.
You are His, he is yours andyou can call to Him and he will
answer you and show you greatand mighty things that you do
(14:56):
not know.
And you do not have the spiritof fear.
You're an overcomer.
You have strength through him.
You have that fight in you.
You have the will to moveforward and move on.
If you will allow Him to takeyou and allow Him to cover you
(15:17):
with His blood and allow Him to,if he has to bring you to your
knees so that he is all you haveand he can lift you up, just
like the words of these songs hecan he will be right there for
(15:38):
you and you are an overcomer.
You're not a victim and you,you know, even though you feel
like it, and those wounds willbe healed.
Sometimes it's a process, as itwas for me for many years.
I wasn't able to talk aboutthis, even bring it up, for
three years.
Three years, and you know, overthe years I've been able to
(16:08):
slowly um tell my story and andbring it out a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But as you're talking , I'm thinking about the verse
in micah 7, 8 don't gloat overme, my enemies, when I have
fallen, for I shall arise.
Yes, he does help us to getback up.
He does, and you probably couldtestify to this.
He says he has us by the handin Isaiah 41.10.
Behold, I am the Lord, your God, who takes you by the hand.
(16:31):
Do not fear, I will help you.
Yes, there's days I bet you'relike Lord.
Take me by the hand today, oh,yes.
Help me to take it one step at atime.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And still and still, to this day.
You know he said be anxious fornothing, but in everything, by
prayer and petition, make yourrequest known to me.
And the peace I think that'svery important the peace that
passes all understanding willguard your heart and mind in
Christ Jesus, and I don't knowif I said that exactly, but I
(17:08):
would cling to that and I wouldpray for peace, because when
you're going through somethinglike this, you feel no peace but
your feelings are a liar andGod is not, and God's word
stands.
And go to God's word.
I would tell you, go to God'sword, pray and find those people
(17:30):
in the Bible who have gonethrough similar circumstances,
because what greatly comfortedme was that and from the words
of these songs, knowing that Iwasn't the only one going
through this, that there areother people that feel the same
way I do, and that somehow gaveme some comfort.
But there would be pivotaltimes that God would give me
(17:54):
peace and move forward in that.
Where you feel peace, moveforward in that and let him just
let go, and let him take youand let and blossom you into who
you are.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Lori, I remember you telling me that a verse that you
hung on to was Matthew 17, 20.
If you have faith, a grain of amustard seed.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Can you talk?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
about that.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh, yes, you know, val, there's so much, there's so
much that I could say that wewon't get in today, honestly.
But I did tell you that if youhave faith as of a mustard seed,
oh my goodness, and I would sayto myself all the time, I would
say Lord, as I was crying out.
I would say, lord, I know Ihave faith of a mustard seed
(18:41):
because it's teeny, tiny and Iknow that I have at least that
bit of faith.
And you said, you said youpromised that, even if you have
a faith of a mustard seed, thatyou could take that and make it
grow, and make it, because Ifelt like I almost felt like I
lost, I was almost about to losemy faith.
(19:01):
And I'm sure there are manypeople out there that are, yes,
that feel that way.
And I would tell you, justpicture a mustard seed.
I actually had a littlebracelet that was made up of
mustard seeds and I would lookat it and I would say, lord, I
know, no, I have faith of amustard seed.
(19:22):
And I stand on that and I amgoing, I'm praying that, you
know, and I would, I would just,I would almost get indignant
with it.
And he honors that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
He really does and I look at you and you are an
example of I.
He says I'll restore the yearsthe locust has eaten.
I look at you and therestoration that has happened in
your life.
I just believe it's going togive other people hope.
You know it says in Hebrews 6,19,.
Hope is an anchor.
(19:53):
It keeps us firm and secureright, and you are bringing hope
to our listeners today.
Thank you so much for justbeing transparent and honest.
You know we have talked aboutmarketplace ministry.
You are a marketplace minister.
I read that you we didn't eventalk about this, but you said in
(20:17):
an article my purpose forexisting is to help people come
to know Him, meaning Christ.
Yes, can you talk a little bitabout that?
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yes, the thought that comes to my mind right now is
that the latter is greater thanthe former.
The latter is greater than theformer.
And Val, you and many othersspoke that into my life.
And, though it's a process, godgives you these little nuggets
and these little treats alongthe way to let you know he's
(20:52):
there and to let you know thathe's building you up.
But I would pray all the time.
Lord, what do you want me to do?
What is my calling?
And I was so afraid that Ididn't know my calling and that
I would miss it.
I would be so afraid I wouldmiss that and I just would pray
(21:15):
it all the time.
And it took me many years untilI realized.
And one day God just said youare a marketplace minister.
And I was, because, you know, Iused to think I needed to go
into the ministry to serve him.
No, I was given an opportunityby Dave White, who had started
(21:49):
Sew All Life and he wanted toexpand into Destin.
And it took a little while tothink about it.
And then I just said okay,because I knew the Lord wanted
me out in the marketplacesomehow.
But I still hadn't put all thepieces together.
So I one day heard him and Irealized that's what I was doing
(22:15):
.
And then I knew my calling.
I don't even know how to explainthat but as being in marketing
and PR and all the things awriter, editor and all these
things that I'm doing, I get togo see clients.
I get to pray with them.
I get to sometimes, if God willnudge me and say, hey, they're
(22:39):
having a bad day pray with them.
I pray over our advertisers.
I am able to be out therehopefully leading my life the
way God wants me to lead it, andjust be out in the marketplace.
It's a ministry.
It is a ministry and there arepeople looking for answers, even
(23:02):
in work, even in theirprofessional lives.
And if God can speak through meand help me, help them, then
that's my place, that's myposition and that's really my
identity is through him.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
You know I do want to dialogue with you on a couple
of things in closing, and Ithink you can relate to this.
I'm going to encourage ourlisteners John Martin always
really loves to encourage ourlisteners to get in the word.
The word transforms us To finda Christ-centered church and,
(23:42):
lastly, find a small group, findcommunity, because that verse
iron sharpens iron.
When we are in community,people speak into our lives and
we can speak into other people'slives.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
So anything you want to say on those three points in
closing, Well, I would just saythis A lot of times you don't
feel like your prayers arereaching God, but prayer changes
things and most of the timewhen I am praying and I have a
(24:18):
loss for words, I pray the word,and that's the most powerful,
because you know that that'sGod's will.
So when you're praying the wordand sometimes Val, I'll just
take a psalm, and it might bethe day, the date of the day,
like today is what the 19th, andI will take Psalm 19, and I
(24:39):
will put myself in it or othersthat I need to pray for, and I
will put myself in it or othersthat I need to pray for, and I
will put my name in there and Iwill pray that Psalm for that
day.
And that's a great way to do it.
You can pray the Psalms and theProverbs.
That's just a great way to prayand I pray like that a lot.
And as far as a church, yes,it's very important to be
(25:01):
connected to a local church andto really get to know people in
a small group.
But I will say one thing aboutcommunity, and that is as a
workplace minister, when you areout in the community and people
see you and you're talking tothem and you're talking to them.
(25:22):
You don't have to hit them overthe head with spiritual matters,
but if it's in you it's goingto come out and they know that
and you gain their trust.
And so being out in thecommunity, gaining goodwill,
networking as a representativeof not only our business, I'm a
representative of Christ, andwhen things get rough and things
(25:50):
are not going the way somebodymay want them to, you may be the
one they come to Because you'vebeen there and they see a depth
in you that others don't have,maybe in their workplace or out
with their clients.
So it's very, I would say,community is just one of the
(26:14):
utmost importance and that's whyI love, love, love what I do,
because it's not work for me,because you know, some of it is,
of course, two in the morningwhen I'm on my computer and I'm
working, but most of the timeI'm out, I'm out in the public
and I'm seeing people and itmakes a huge difference in what
(26:40):
you do.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Lori, if someone wanted to contact you or find
out more information about LifeMedia Group, where can they go?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They can hit one of our websites.
We have several, actually.
It's.
Mydestinlifecom is one of themand they can always email me if
they want to laurie atlifemediagrpcom.
And they can pick up anewspaper in any of these
(27:13):
communities that we've discussedand they'll see my contact
information in there, orsomeone's who's ever
spearheading that particularpublication, and you can pick
those up.
If you don't get one in yourmailbox, you can pick one up at
Publix or Winn-Dixie Whole Foods, several restaurants, the
(27:35):
chambers and community centersAwesome, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
We so appreciate you coming on.
I hope you come back, john, andI just appreciate you and your
transparency and just God blessyou.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You've been listening to Road to Redemption.
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