May 12, 2025 • 22 mins
Victoria Jones shares the powerful story of how she went from planning suicide to finding freedom and abundant life in Christ after a divine encounter with a stranger who gave her a Bible.
• Grew up with unhealthy performance-based coping mechanisms.
• Performance addiction led to depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts in college.
• Maintained a perfect social media image while inwardly planning to end her life.
• Encountered a stranger named Martha Jackson who gave her a Bible with Psalm 55 highlighted.
“Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the realm of the dead, for evil finds lodging among them. As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. God, who is enthroned from of old, who does not change— he will hear them and humble them, because they have no fear of God.” Psalms 55:15-19 NIV
• Martha's simple act of obedience saved Victoria's life that day.
• Years later, joined a freedom group at Destiny Church where she truly met Jesus.
• Learned about forgiveness and developed a personal relationship with God.
• Marriage and family healed through submission to Christ and serving each other.
• Faith journey has broken generational patterns, allowing her son to grow up knowing God.
• Encourages others struggling with mental health to get connected to God's Word and community.
If you're battling suicidal thoughts, depression or anxiety, please know that Jesus loves you and died to give you abundant life. Get connected to a Bible-believing church, join a small group, and surround yourself with people who care about your spiritual wellbeing.
For more information contact us at
rtrdestiny@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome to Road to Redemption.
I'm John Martin, your host, andwe have an exciting show today
to good friends Victoria andGarrett Jones.
How are y'all?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Good morning.
We're great Doing well, thankyou.
Oh, so good are y'all Goodmorning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We're great Doing well.
Thank you, oh, so good Y'allcould come in.
I know we're going to have agreat show.
First off, talk to us a littlebit about how did y'all get to
this area.
How did y'all find us inFlorida?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
How did we get to this area?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Well, we were.
We uh the Holy we had just comeum from, uh joined a new church
in uh Biloxi uh the church ofthe King campus there and as we
grew there we uh got more touchwith like the Holy spirit and we
kind of knew that some changeswere happening in our lives and
we were being called somewhereelse.
And then, about six monthsbefore we moved here, her sister
(01:03):
moved out here.
And you know family is veryimportant to us and we wanted
our kids to kind of grow uptogether, you know, to play
together and have thoserelationships really
strengthened.
And so that spring, when shemoved out here, we started
looking at listing our house and, you know, got open doors and
we were able to move here prettyquickly, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Funny thing is Garrett said he would never live
in Florida and we moved here asa trial basis.
We thought let's rent for ayear, see how we like it.
Three months in we gotconnected at the Freeport campus
for Destiny and immediately wejust knew that we were going to
be planted here for some time.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
It's been what?
Three years now.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Going on four.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, Victoria, we talked a little bit before the
show about testimonies and wedecided today we're going to
hear your story, so tell us alittle bit about your journey.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, my journey has been a whole life journey with
Jesus.
I shared with you a little bitthis morning that I was a child
growing up in church and reallytook it at face value that Jesus
loves us.
He died for our sins and I justbelieved with my whole heart
that I was going to heaven, andstill do.
I didn't understand what itmeant to have abundant life in
(02:18):
Jesus.
I didn't know what it meant towalk with him or to be a friend
of God until much later in lifeand we actually moved here.
I joined a freedom group, metthe Holy Spirit and kind of
looked back on my life andthings were illuminated, all
(02:38):
these places along the way whereGod really was just pursuing my
heart for quite some time Wowyeah.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, talk to us a little bit about some of the
trials and things you've had tomaybe go through in your walk.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
that's kind of brought you along in your faith
riddled with fear, anxiety and adesire to perform and achieve
At home.
That was very tumultuous andwhat I kind of figured out is,
(03:11):
if I made the good grades, didthe good things, got the marks,
met the goals, that that wouldkind of temper things down for a
moment.
So I developed this habit ofself-reliance, of performance
and using that really as amethod of of controlling my
environment at home.
If I did that, mom and dadwould be happy and and they
wouldn't fight and I wouldn't,you know, be in harm's way.
(03:33):
Um and so, yeah, after afteryears of doing that, I went off
to college and just was not ableto uphold that level of
performance.
I started to struggle in school.
Depression, anxiety were reallystrong and, yeah, this kind of
(03:57):
pressure really just took a tollon me and I've really started
to be tormented and kind of givemyself over to just partying
things that aren't great and andit led to thoughts of thoughts
of suicide, to ending my life,and because I just thought, okay
, well, if I cannot perform, ifI can't make the grades, if I
(04:17):
can't be who people think I am,then who am I?
And it's just better if, if I'mnot here, which sounds so odd.
I know now that it was truly aspiritual battle and that it was
this kind of lie that I'd beenbelieving since the time I was a
child.
Yeah, I grew up in a home thatwas very violent, very abusive
(04:38):
in a lot of and again, justperforming was my way out.
It was just kind of this escapeand went off to college, really
thought I was starting over inlife and I think the toll of
everything kind of just camedown on me with contemplating
(05:04):
suicide.
Nobody would have known itbecause I was in a sorority
living, you know, posting onInstagram like everything was
great and fine and but deepinside I was just so sad, I was
so tormented and I had astruggle with really bad PTSD
from just growing up in aharmful home.
I would wake up in the middleof the night just fearful
(05:25):
screaming and I was just sotired.
I can't.
I can't tell you if I actuallyactively wanted to die or if I
just was really exhausted andwanted to just rest.
I didn't want people to know.
So I would go.
You know I would.
I was so withdrawn but I knewpeople would get worried or
people would think something wasup if I disconnected altogether
.
So I would go to a social, takea picture, picture leave, I
(05:47):
would go, and, and so it lookedone way, but I was suffering
silently.
I mean, maybe you know you couldsee the straight A student was
getting B's and C's now who?
But that wouldn't have been thetell.
They didn't know, like, whatwas happening in here.
And so I even remember tellingthe story to some people
afterwards and they're like wejust didn't, are sure you didn't
know because we saw this.
(06:08):
You just become so disconnected.
I feel like it wasn't even ahuge dramatic decision, it was
just this moment of I'm just sotired and the world is going to
be okay, but I need rest.
And so I thought, okay, I'mgoing to end my life.
I had it planned out and wasgoing to Detroit, Michigan,
(06:29):
where my parents had moved,because I knew that if I went
there, my dad would be the oneto find me, and I just thought
that would be easiest foreveryone.
And so I was very calm,calculated and just on the way
to do that.
When we landed in Detroit, Imet a woman named Martha Jackson
(06:49):
.
For about five minutes, as Iwas charging my phone, Martha
Jackson sat next to me and gaveme her Bible.
She talked to me about herfamily.
She talked to me about whereshe was going.
It was a very briefconversation and ultimately she
left and she said I just reallywant you to have this.
Well, when I opened the Bible, Ithought, okay, this is a sign,
(07:10):
I should read it.
I opened the Bible and it wason Psalm 55 and there was a
prayer put in there, and onPsalm 55, what was highlighted
was let death take my enemies bysurprise.
Let them go down alive to thegrave for evil finds lodging
among them, and the prayer thatwas bookmarking the book said
Come, Holy Spirit of the livingGod move upon the waters of my
(07:31):
soul when love is lost in aflood of love, when there is no
hopes in hope.
And I just continue to praythat over many years I didn't
obviously in my life that day,but I can't say that I started
to follow Jesus at that momenteither.
I just kind of hung to thatverse and clung to that poem,
kind of as this little life raftwhen things were rough.
(07:53):
But I just think about thatlady because I wasn't visibly in
distress and I know God wasspeaking to her and her
obedience because this Bible was, this was her war Bible.
I mean prayers notes.
She was an older black womanand she just you know that this
was her war Bible, I meanprayers notes.
She was an older black womanand she just you know that this
was hers and I think.
What would I have thought ifGod said give that girl your
(08:13):
Bible?
Maybe she was obviously moremature, but my initial thoughts
at that time would have beenwell, it's mine.
And what if she thinks I'mweird and am?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I really hearing this Can.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I take my notes out first.
And she just did it.
She didn't even ask, she didn'tknow.
She'll know in heaven.
Maybe the Holy Spirit reallydid tell her.
But I think too of thatobedience of you.
Could say, people say if youdon't, someone else will, but
that's not always true.
Someone else didn't have herBible with that prayer and that
(08:48):
scripture.
I had a verse and clung to thatpoem, kind of as this little
life raft when things were rough, ultimately later got plugged
into church here at Destiny,joined a freedom group where I
learned about forgiveness.
I learned about Jesus and howhis love is so personal that
he's not a distant father but heis someone who died for me and
(09:10):
what that means in terms of howI can now live and forgive and
be forgiven, and I think that'swhat really changed things.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Wow, that's awesome and you know.
I'm so glad you shared thatbecause so many folks are going
through depression and suicide.
It's a big deal and, honestly,the world of social media has
made it worse.
Everybody has these lives thataren't real.
They put it out on social media.
(09:40):
So what do you have to say toanybody out there that might be
struggling with suicidalthoughts?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
That you are so loved and there is a savior who died
for your sins, who died to giveyou abundant life and who wants
to give you hope and who hashope in a future for you, and
that, if you are struggling withthoughts of suicide, don't
listen to those lies.
Those are lies from the enemy,and I just believe that there's
(10:07):
better for you.
Don't listen to those lies.
Those are lies from the enemy,and, um, I just believe that
there's better for you and Ibelieve that there's hope for
you.
Just ask Jesus into your heart,ask him to give you hope, ask
the Holy spirit to guide you,and you will be blown away by
what he shows you and the lovethat will come.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
That's great.
Well, victoria, you and GarrettI see you now You're living a
blessed life, you have joy, youhave freedom.
I know you all have problems,like everybody.
Talk to us a little bit abouthow is that happening?
I mean, how has your lifeturned to where you're living in
(10:52):
freedom now?
How did that occur?
Speaker 4 (10:56):
I would say submission, daily submission,
because the enemy tries the sametactics and the same attacks
all the time, and so it's one ofthe things of like we just have
to.
When we start to feel thoseattacks, when we start to feel
that pressure, we have to kindof hold each other accountable
and stop like have you prayedtoday?
Have you gotten to the word?
You know, we kind of look atour lives.
(11:18):
What can we do to get closer toGod in those moments?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Because they, you know, the attacks, are real and
they're heavy sometimes.
Well, I'll say this that, um,man, when I was depressed, when
I was suicidal, I went throughso much therapy.
I wasn't just, you know,wallowing in it.
I, I wasn't just, you know,wallowing in it.
I was reading the books, I waslooking at the blogs, I was
doing the yoga, the meditation,looking to everything except for
Jesus, and it wasn't, I mean,until I called on him and was
(11:48):
delivered from tormentingspirits, that things changed.
I mean, in an instant.
It wasn't any, um, any of theother things that I had tried.
It was the name of Jesus thatgave me rest, that I was looking
for.
Um, I think that's what changedis learning and being
surrounded by people who, um,taught me how to pray in
(12:08):
authority and in Jesus, and then, obviously, being in a marriage
, um, that will lead me that wayas well.
Things were not always greatfor us.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Garrett was agnostic for some time, and so it wasn't
until I submitted to God, untilI accepted Jesus into our life,
that we were able to reallystart living a healthy marriage
and a healthy life, to where Icould be the husband she needed
me to be when she had thosemoments and attacks.
When you know when I wentthrough those attacks, you know,
(12:42):
you know to rest on God and putmy trust and faith in him.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah, I just remember being so.
You know, I hadn't obviouslyended my life but and I'd been
saved I knew Jesus, but thingsjust still weren't going well.
I had so much anger, so muchfrustration, so much hurt that I
still needed to work through.
I know now the terms, for thatwas justified, but there's still
sanctification that I'm walkingout and was.
And I remember, before all thishappened, our three-year-old he
(13:08):
was three at the time, going onfour, and he just looked at me
and said what felt so profound.
He said, mommy, I remember whenI was little and you were so
mad and it broke my heart.
He said but I believe you'regoing to build my heart back,
mommy.
And I just remember tears justfalling down my face and I
didn't know what God was goingto do at the time.
I mean, since then we've joineda church, we've gotten into
(13:29):
small groups and we have startedto believe what Jesus says and
things have changed and it's socool to know that we can raise
our child in a home or he, um,he just has that from the start,
the things have broken off ofour family and he knows God.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Wow, that's awesome.
Why'd I ask Victoria, is thereanything else from your story
you'd want to share?
Uh, to anyone that needing hope, that's kind of really lost
hope and just anything else youmight say.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I'm trying to think of what I would have wanted to
hear in that moment, of whatwould have helped, but I know it
was the word.
It was the word of God thatchanged it.
I had no idea when I wasreading that scripture that I
was battling in the spirit, thatthe sword of the spirit is a
real thing and that the word ofGod is alive and that it has
power, that we don't wrestle,you know, against flesh and
blood, that we're not in this.
It's so much deeper there is aspiritual battle happening and
(14:29):
that we can have authoritythrough Jesus that if we just
ask him into our heart, thingsstart to change.
I would say get surrounded bypeople that didn't know how to
follow God.
Get surrounded by people in asmall group.
Get plugged into a spiritualcommunity.
I would say get people who canhelp you and who love you.
It's amazing that there arepeople who actually care about
(14:49):
your soul and spirit.
It's funny so I didn't tell youthis part the way we even got
into Destiny Church.
A woman was cutting my hair andwe were coming in and she would
ask us every time do you have achurch?
And we'd say no, we're watchingonline.
And she said you need to go toDestiny, you need to go.
And we thought, well, thislady's kind of pushy, she told
(15:16):
me that I was doing my kid adisservice, and um, so she just
started to invite us and I wedidn't go.
So when she couldn't getthrough to us, she started
working on our three-year-oldgrant and she would say tell
your mommy and daddy to bringyou to church.
They need to go.
Just ask him, it's right byyour house.
So grant eventually juststarted begging us to go to
church and that's how we gotplugged into destiny.
I didn't know until later, whenI became friends with her, that
(15:39):
every time I sat in her chairshe was praying for me, she was
anointing me and praying for methat I would just give my heart
over to Jesus and start tofollow him and go to church.
Um, and I know that now becausewe're friends.
But I think what I would say toyou if you're hopeless, there
are people who care and are um,praying for you that you just
(16:02):
don't even know that there's.
There's actually a lovingcommunity of people who want to
accept you, that when Jesus diedfor us, that he gave us a new
name, and maybe, maybe you don'thave a family.
Maybe you don't have, or youfeel like you don't have friends
, or you feel like you're alone.
But there are people who wantto be around you, who want to
love you and who are invitingyou into that because Jesus
loved them first.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And we were talking about marriage earlier and I
know we said we might have y'allcome on some other time to
share your marriage testimony,but there are a lot of marriages
struggling as well.
Is there any?
If there's one piece of adviceyou might have to share with
anybody that their marriage isreally on the rocks and they're
feeling hopeless anything youwould say to them.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I would say, especially for men, get
connected with other men.
Look at men who have strongmarriages.
What you're struggling with isnot a burden to them, is not a
burden to them, you know, likeit's they want.
You know, godly men want you tohave a godly marriage and they
want to be able to share whattheir failures are, what their
successes are with you, so thatway you can learn from them and
(17:05):
have a godly marriage as well.
And so I would say, getconnected.
Like small groups are always,you know, a great option, but if
you just have that one personthat you just feel the Holy
Spirit kind of pushing you totalk to, to confide in, go up
and talk to them about that, askthem for help and advice.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And out-serve each other is something that we're
told a lot.
I think one of the things thathas helped Garrett is just so
wonderful at setting the examplein our home of service and just
loving me first, even when I amkind of prickly or he just
always moves toward me in loveand that really has captured,
you know, my heart to move backtoward him.
(17:45):
That, like we talked aboutearlier, there was so much pain
I had to work through.
But knowing that he is just soloyal and dedicated and was just
willing to listen and workthrough it with me and that
there's unconditional love there, I think has been so helpful.
But he's taught me to justserve in a way that I wasn't
(18:06):
willing to before because of howhe served me first.
So whether you're the wife orthe husband, I would say just
serve each other.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Well, and that kind of comes to.
Y'all have been really sayingthroughout the whole show our
three key pillars of Road toRedemption, which is we really
encourage folks first to readthe Word of God, and I really
feel like the Word of God is abig piece of what saved your
(18:37):
life.
You know that lady giving youthat scripture that spoke to you
, that kept you to hang on, youknow, and to not go through with
it, and you know, we know, itwas God's plan for you, not and
it's his plan for everyone tonot ever, ever in their life.
(18:59):
So we just encourage thoselistening to pick up the Bible.
Pick it up right now and juststart reading it.
Just open it and I just promiseGod's going to take you to the
one scripture that's going tostart speaking to you.
And if you don't have a Biblethere, pick up your phone and
you can get the YouVersion app.
You can get the Destiny'sDisciple Me app and you can get
(19:19):
the YouVersion app.
You can get the Destiny'sDisciple Me app and you can just
start reading the Bible.
We encourage you to do it now.
And then the second is to getinto a Christ-centered church
and just go.
Don't watch it online.
You need to go in person.
Fellowship, fellowship Just goand you know, give it one year
(19:43):
of your life is what we say.
We promise it'll transform you,but just start going.
And then the last thing is toget into a group, a small group,
a group you do life with andyou can make yourself vulnerable
, and those other believers aregoing to pour into you and
really help strengthen you inyour walk with Jesus.
(20:04):
So that's what we do, and y'allwere saying that through your
whole story.
So it's really cool.
But I think, before we go, whatI would like to do is just pray
for anyone that's listeningthat might be going through
(20:25):
mental attacks, even suicidalthoughts, which is something
that is very common, but nobodyknows.
People don't put that out ontheir social media that they're
thinking about taking their liferight.
That's something they don't putout there, but it's common.
People are thinking about itand it's from the enemy, it's
from from Satan, it's.
(20:46):
It's not God.
So we, just we're going to comeand pray right now.
Um, heavenly father, lord Jesus, thank you for Victoria and
Garrett coming on and sharingtheir powerful testimony.
Garrett coming on and sharingtheir powerful testimony.
And, lord, we, just we comeright now.
We pray for anyone listeningthat is having these thoughts
(21:10):
suicidal thoughts, depression,anxiety, any of these thoughts
and we just say, by theauthority of Jesus, these
thoughts are not from you,they're from the enemy.
And we just say, by theauthority of Jesus, they must
(21:35):
leave now to never return again.
And we say that these folksthat are listening, that they
come into agreement that Jesuswants them to live and have a
long life with Him.
And we just pray that they willtake that step to reach out, to
start reading God's Word and toget into a church and into a
(21:56):
small group.
And we just pray for them rightnow.
And we just pray for them rightnow.
We believe that they are beingreleased from these thoughts and
that they are coming into faithand just a blessed long life by
you, lord Jesus, and we givethanks for all those that heard
(22:18):
this prayer and that theseprayers have been answered.
Thank you, lord, amen.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You've been listening to Road to Redemption, sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
If you have any comments orquestions, we would love to
connect with you.
You can reach out to us atdestinyradiolive.
Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week on Road
to Redemption.
Welcome to Road to Redemption, a show sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome to Road to Redemption.
I'm John Martin, your host, andwe have an exciting show today
to good friends Victoria andGarrett Jones.
How are y'all?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Good morning.
We're great Doing well, thankyou.
Oh, so good are y'all Goodmorning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We're great Doing well.
Thank you, oh, so good Y'allcould come in.
I know we're going to have agreat show.
First off, talk to us a littlebit about how did y'all get to
this area.
How did y'all find us inFlorida?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
How did we get to this area?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Well, we were.
We uh the Holy we had just comeum from, uh joined a new church
in uh Biloxi uh the church ofthe King campus there and as we
grew there we uh got more touchwith like the Holy spirit and we
kind of knew that some changeswere happening in our lives and
we were being called somewhereelse.
And then, about six monthsbefore we moved here, her sister
(01:03):
moved out here.
And you know family is veryimportant to us and we wanted
our kids to kind of grow uptogether, you know, to play
together and have thoserelationships really
strengthened.
And so that spring, when shemoved out here, we started
looking at listing our house and, you know, got open doors and
we were able to move here prettyquickly, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Funny thing is Garrett said he would never live
in Florida and we moved here asa trial basis.
We thought let's rent for ayear, see how we like it.
Three months in we gotconnected at the Freeport campus
for Destiny and immediately wejust knew that we were going to
be planted here for some time.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
It's been what?
Three years now.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Going on four.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, Victoria, we talked a little bit before the
show about testimonies and wedecided today we're going to
hear your story, so tell us alittle bit about your journey.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Yeah, my journey has been a whole life journey with
Jesus.
I shared with you a little bitthis morning that I was a child
growing up in church and reallytook it at face value that Jesus
loves us.
He died for our sins and I justbelieved with my whole heart
that I was going to heaven, andstill do.
I didn't understand what itmeant to have abundant life in
(02:18):
Jesus.
I didn't know what it meant towalk with him or to be a friend
of God until much later in lifeand we actually moved here.
I joined a freedom group, metthe Holy Spirit and kind of
looked back on my life andthings were illuminated, all
(02:38):
these places along the way whereGod really was just pursuing my
heart for quite some time Wowyeah.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, talk to us a little bit about some of the
trials and things you've had tomaybe go through in your walk.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
that's kind of brought you along in your faith
riddled with fear, anxiety and adesire to perform and achieve
At home.
That was very tumultuous andwhat I kind of figured out is,
(03:11):
if I made the good grades, didthe good things, got the marks,
met the goals, that that wouldkind of temper things down for a
moment.
So I developed this habit ofself-reliance, of performance
and using that really as amethod of of controlling my
environment at home.
If I did that, mom and dadwould be happy and and they
wouldn't fight and I wouldn't,you know, be in harm's way.
(03:33):
Um and so, yeah, after afteryears of doing that, I went off
to college and just was not ableto uphold that level of
performance.
I started to struggle in school.
Depression, anxiety were reallystrong and, yeah, this kind of
(03:57):
pressure really just took a tollon me and I've really started
to be tormented and kind of givemyself over to just partying
things that aren't great and andit led to thoughts of thoughts
of suicide, to ending my life,and because I just thought, okay
, well, if I cannot perform, ifI can't make the grades, if I
(04:17):
can't be who people think I am,then who am I?
And it's just better if, if I'mnot here, which sounds so odd.
I know now that it was truly aspiritual battle and that it was
this kind of lie that I'd beenbelieving since the time I was a
child.
Yeah, I grew up in a home thatwas very violent, very abusive
(04:38):
in a lot of and again, justperforming was my way out.
It was just kind of this escapeand went off to college, really
thought I was starting over inlife and I think the toll of
everything kind of just camedown on me with contemplating
(05:04):
suicide.
Nobody would have known itbecause I was in a sorority
living, you know, posting onInstagram like everything was
great and fine and but deepinside I was just so sad, I was
so tormented and I had astruggle with really bad PTSD
from just growing up in aharmful home.
I would wake up in the middleof the night just fearful
(05:25):
screaming and I was just sotired.
I can't.
I can't tell you if I actuallyactively wanted to die or if I
just was really exhausted andwanted to just rest.
I didn't want people to know.
So I would go.
You know I would.
I was so withdrawn but I knewpeople would get worried or
people would think something wasup if I disconnected altogether
.
So I would go to a social, takea picture, picture leave, I
(05:47):
would go, and, and so it lookedone way, but I was suffering
silently.
I mean, maybe you know you couldsee the straight A student was
getting B's and C's now who?
But that wouldn't have been thetell.
They didn't know, like, whatwas happening in here.
And so I even remember tellingthe story to some people
afterwards and they're like wejust didn't, are sure you didn't
know because we saw this.
(06:08):
You just become so disconnected.
I feel like it wasn't even ahuge dramatic decision, it was
just this moment of I'm just sotired and the world is going to
be okay, but I need rest.
And so I thought, okay, I'mgoing to end my life.
I had it planned out and wasgoing to Detroit, Michigan,
(06:29):
where my parents had moved,because I knew that if I went
there, my dad would be the oneto find me, and I just thought
that would be easiest foreveryone.
And so I was very calm,calculated and just on the way
to do that.
When we landed in Detroit, Imet a woman named Martha Jackson
(06:49):
.
For about five minutes, as Iwas charging my phone, Martha
Jackson sat next to me and gaveme her Bible.
She talked to me about herfamily.
She talked to me about whereshe was going.
It was a very briefconversation and ultimately she
left and she said I just reallywant you to have this.
Well, when I opened the Bible, Ithought, okay, this is a sign,
(07:10):
I should read it.
I opened the Bible and it wason Psalm 55 and there was a
prayer put in there, and onPsalm 55, what was highlighted
was let death take my enemies bysurprise.
Let them go down alive to thegrave for evil finds lodging
among them, and the prayer thatwas bookmarking the book said
Come, Holy Spirit of the livingGod move upon the waters of my
(07:31):
soul when love is lost in aflood of love, when there is no
hopes in hope.
And I just continue to praythat over many years I didn't
obviously in my life that day,but I can't say that I started
to follow Jesus at that momenteither.
I just kind of hung to thatverse and clung to that poem,
kind of as this little life raftwhen things were rough.
(07:53):
But I just think about thatlady because I wasn't visibly in
distress and I know God wasspeaking to her and her
obedience because this Bible was, this was her war Bible.
I mean prayers notes.
She was an older black womanand she just you know that this
was her war Bible, I meanprayers notes.
She was an older black womanand she just you know that this
was hers and I think.
What would I have thought ifGod said give that girl your
(08:13):
Bible?
Maybe she was obviously moremature, but my initial thoughts
at that time would have beenwell, it's mine.
And what if she thinks I'mweird and am?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I really hearing this Can.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I take my notes out first.
And she just did it.
She didn't even ask, she didn'tknow.
She'll know in heaven.
Maybe the Holy Spirit reallydid tell her.
But I think too of thatobedience of you.
Could say, people say if youdon't, someone else will, but
that's not always true.
Someone else didn't have herBible with that prayer and that
(08:48):
scripture.
I had a verse and clung to thatpoem, kind of as this little
life raft when things were rough, ultimately later got plugged
into church here at Destiny,joined a freedom group where I
learned about forgiveness.
I learned about Jesus and howhis love is so personal that
he's not a distant father but heis someone who died for me and
(09:10):
what that means in terms of howI can now live and forgive and
be forgiven, and I think that'swhat really changed things.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Wow, that's awesome and you know.
I'm so glad you shared thatbecause so many folks are going
through depression and suicide.
It's a big deal and, honestly,the world of social media has
made it worse.
Everybody has these lives thataren't real.
They put it out on social media.
(09:40):
So what do you have to say toanybody out there that might be
struggling with suicidalthoughts?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
That you are so loved and there is a savior who died
for your sins, who died to giveyou abundant life and who wants
to give you hope and who hashope in a future for you, and
that, if you are struggling withthoughts of suicide, don't
listen to those lies.
Those are lies from the enemy,and I just believe that there's
(10:07):
better for you.
Don't listen to those lies.
Those are lies from the enemy,and, um, I just believe that
there's better for you and Ibelieve that there's hope for
you.
Just ask Jesus into your heart,ask him to give you hope, ask
the Holy spirit to guide you,and you will be blown away by
what he shows you and the lovethat will come.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
That's great.
Well, victoria, you and GarrettI see you now You're living a
blessed life, you have joy, youhave freedom.
I know you all have problems,like everybody.
Talk to us a little bit abouthow is that happening?
I mean, how has your lifeturned to where you're living in
(10:52):
freedom now?
How did that occur?
Speaker 4 (10:56):
I would say submission, daily submission,
because the enemy tries the sametactics and the same attacks
all the time, and so it's one ofthe things of like we just have
to.
When we start to feel thoseattacks, when we start to feel
that pressure, we have to kindof hold each other accountable
and stop like have you prayedtoday?
Have you gotten to the word?
You know, we kind of look atour lives.
(11:18):
What can we do to get closer toGod in those moments?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Because they, you know, the attacks, are real and
they're heavy sometimes.
Well, I'll say this that, um,man, when I was depressed, when
I was suicidal, I went throughso much therapy.
I wasn't just, you know,wallowing in it.
I, I wasn't just, you know,wallowing in it.
I was reading the books, I waslooking at the blogs, I was
doing the yoga, the meditation,looking to everything except for
Jesus, and it wasn't, I mean,until I called on him and was
(11:48):
delivered from tormentingspirits, that things changed.
I mean, in an instant.
It wasn't any, um, any of theother things that I had tried.
It was the name of Jesus thatgave me rest, that I was looking
for.
Um, I think that's what changedis learning and being
surrounded by people who, um,taught me how to pray in
(12:08):
authority and in Jesus, and then, obviously, being in a marriage
, um, that will lead me that wayas well.
Things were not always greatfor us.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Garrett was agnostic for some time, and so it wasn't
until I submitted to God, untilI accepted Jesus into our life,
that we were able to reallystart living a healthy marriage
and a healthy life, to where Icould be the husband she needed
me to be when she had thosemoments and attacks.
When you know when I wentthrough those attacks, you know,
(12:42):
you know to rest on God and putmy trust and faith in him.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah, I just remember being so.
You know, I hadn't obviouslyended my life but and I'd been
saved I knew Jesus, but thingsjust still weren't going well.
I had so much anger, so muchfrustration, so much hurt that I
still needed to work through.
I know now the terms, for thatwas justified, but there's still
sanctification that I'm walkingout and was.
And I remember, before all thishappened, our three-year-old he
(13:08):
was three at the time, going onfour, and he just looked at me
and said what felt so profound.
He said, mommy, I remember whenI was little and you were so
mad and it broke my heart.
He said but I believe you'regoing to build my heart back,
mommy.
And I just remember tears justfalling down my face and I
didn't know what God was goingto do at the time.
I mean, since then we've joineda church, we've gotten into
(13:29):
small groups and we have startedto believe what Jesus says and
things have changed and it's socool to know that we can raise
our child in a home or he, um,he just has that from the start,
the things have broken off ofour family and he knows God.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Wow, that's awesome.
Why'd I ask Victoria, is thereanything else from your story
you'd want to share?
Uh, to anyone that needing hope, that's kind of really lost
hope and just anything else youmight say.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I'm trying to think of what I would have wanted to
hear in that moment, of whatwould have helped, but I know it
was the word.
It was the word of God thatchanged it.
I had no idea when I wasreading that scripture that I
was battling in the spirit, thatthe sword of the spirit is a
real thing and that the word ofGod is alive and that it has
power, that we don't wrestle,you know, against flesh and
blood, that we're not in this.
It's so much deeper there is aspiritual battle happening and
(14:29):
that we can have authoritythrough Jesus that if we just
ask him into our heart, thingsstart to change.
I would say get surrounded bypeople that didn't know how to
follow God.
Get surrounded by people in asmall group.
Get plugged into a spiritualcommunity.
I would say get people who canhelp you and who love you.
It's amazing that there arepeople who actually care about
(14:49):
your soul and spirit.
It's funny so I didn't tell youthis part the way we even got
into Destiny Church.
A woman was cutting my hair andwe were coming in and she would
ask us every time do you have achurch?
And we'd say no, we're watchingonline.
And she said you need to go toDestiny, you need to go.
And we thought, well, thislady's kind of pushy, she told
(15:16):
me that I was doing my kid adisservice, and um, so she just
started to invite us and I wedidn't go.
So when she couldn't getthrough to us, she started
working on our three-year-oldgrant and she would say tell
your mommy and daddy to bringyou to church.
They need to go.
Just ask him, it's right byyour house.
So grant eventually juststarted begging us to go to
church and that's how we gotplugged into destiny.
I didn't know until later, whenI became friends with her, that
(15:39):
every time I sat in her chairshe was praying for me, she was
anointing me and praying for methat I would just give my heart
over to Jesus and start tofollow him and go to church.
Um, and I know that now becausewe're friends.
But I think what I would say toyou if you're hopeless, there
are people who care and are um,praying for you that you just
(16:02):
don't even know that there's.
There's actually a lovingcommunity of people who want to
accept you, that when Jesus diedfor us, that he gave us a new
name, and maybe, maybe you don'thave a family.
Maybe you don't have, or youfeel like you don't have friends
, or you feel like you're alone.
But there are people who wantto be around you, who want to
love you and who are invitingyou into that because Jesus
loved them first.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And we were talking about marriage earlier and I
know we said we might have y'allcome on some other time to
share your marriage testimony,but there are a lot of marriages
struggling as well.
Is there any?
If there's one piece of adviceyou might have to share with
anybody that their marriage isreally on the rocks and they're
feeling hopeless anything youwould say to them.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
I would say, especially for men, get
connected with other men.
Look at men who have strongmarriages.
What you're struggling with isnot a burden to them, is not a
burden to them, you know, likeit's they want.
You know, godly men want you tohave a godly marriage and they
want to be able to share whattheir failures are, what their
successes are with you, so thatway you can learn from them and
(17:05):
have a godly marriage as well.
And so I would say, getconnected.
Like small groups are always,you know, a great option, but if
you just have that one personthat you just feel the Holy
Spirit kind of pushing you totalk to, to confide in, go up
and talk to them about that, askthem for help and advice.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And out-serve each other is something that we're
told a lot.
I think one of the things thathas helped Garrett is just so
wonderful at setting the examplein our home of service and just
loving me first, even when I amkind of prickly or he just
always moves toward me in loveand that really has captured,
you know, my heart to move backtoward him.
(17:45):
That, like we talked aboutearlier, there was so much pain
I had to work through.
But knowing that he is just soloyal and dedicated and was just
willing to listen and workthrough it with me and that
there's unconditional love there, I think has been so helpful.
But he's taught me to justserve in a way that I wasn't
(18:06):
willing to before because of howhe served me first.
So whether you're the wife orthe husband, I would say just
serve each other.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Well, and that kind of comes to.
Y'all have been really sayingthroughout the whole show our
three key pillars of Road toRedemption, which is we really
encourage folks first to readthe Word of God, and I really
feel like the Word of God is abig piece of what saved your
(18:37):
life.
You know that lady giving youthat scripture that spoke to you
, that kept you to hang on, youknow, and to not go through with
it, and you know, we know, itwas God's plan for you, not and
it's his plan for everyone tonot ever, ever in their life.
(18:59):
So we just encourage thoselistening to pick up the Bible.
Pick it up right now and juststart reading it.
Just open it and I just promiseGod's going to take you to the
one scripture that's going tostart speaking to you.
And if you don't have a Biblethere, pick up your phone and
you can get the YouVersion app.
You can get the Destiny'sDisciple Me app and you can get
(19:19):
the YouVersion app.
You can get the Destiny'sDisciple Me app and you can just
start reading the Bible.
We encourage you to do it now.
And then the second is to getinto a Christ-centered church
and just go.
Don't watch it online.
You need to go in person.
Fellowship, fellowship Just goand you know, give it one year
(19:43):
of your life is what we say.
We promise it'll transform you,but just start going.
And then the last thing is toget into a group, a small group,
a group you do life with andyou can make yourself vulnerable
, and those other believers aregoing to pour into you and
really help strengthen you inyour walk with Jesus.
(20:04):
So that's what we do, and y'allwere saying that through your
whole story.
So it's really cool.
But I think, before we go, whatI would like to do is just pray
for anyone that's listeningthat might be going through
(20:25):
mental attacks, even suicidalthoughts, which is something
that is very common, but nobodyknows.
People don't put that out ontheir social media that they're
thinking about taking their liferight.
That's something they don't putout there, but it's common.
People are thinking about itand it's from the enemy, it's
from from Satan, it's.
(20:46):
It's not God.
So we, just we're going to comeand pray right now.
Um, heavenly father, lord Jesus, thank you for Victoria and
Garrett coming on and sharingtheir powerful testimony.
Garrett coming on and sharingtheir powerful testimony.
And, lord, we, just we comeright now.
We pray for anyone listeningthat is having these thoughts
(21:10):
suicidal thoughts, depression,anxiety, any of these thoughts
and we just say, by theauthority of Jesus, these
thoughts are not from you,they're from the enemy.
And we just say, by theauthority of Jesus, they must
(21:35):
leave now to never return again.
And we say that these folksthat are listening, that they
come into agreement that Jesuswants them to live and have a
long life with Him.
And we just pray that they willtake that step to reach out, to
start reading God's Word and toget into a church and into a
(21:56):
small group.
And we just pray for them rightnow.
And we just pray for them rightnow.
We believe that they are beingreleased from these thoughts and
that they are coming into faithand just a blessed long life by
you, lord Jesus, and we givethanks for all those that heard
(22:18):
this prayer and that theseprayers have been answered.
Thank you, lord, amen.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You've been listening to Road to Redemption, sharing
powerful life testimonies,giving hope to those on their
own road to redemption.
If you have any comments orquestions, we would love to
connect with you.
You can reach out to us atdestinyradiolive.
Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week on Road
to Redemption.
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