Don't Forget Your Grandparents - What role did they play in your life? Ep 321

Background - 
The role of Grandparents has changed over the years. It used to be a clear separation between their generation, their kids, and the grandkids.

How did the roles get mixed up? There are many possible answers to this but here are some of the more common reasons that we see in our office. 

• Parents are not present or available so the grandparents have no choice but to step in and raise the child.
• Parents need more than a little help in raising their children. Many families have both parents working and they still require child-care.  Grandparents are often a cheaper and convenient solution to this need.
• Parents lack confidence and understanding of their parenting role and are quick to hand it over to a trusted family member. 

Confusion in the roles leads to problems.  

• Every parent comes with a different personality and style of parenting.  
• Unity among the authorities can be broken.  
• Kids look for the easiest way to satisfy their desires. 

Advice - 

• Emphasize the importance of a well-connected and healthy family structure in which all generations are present and in their proper role. 
• Avoid placing people into roles that do not allow them to be where they are in life.  Just like we don’t ask the child to be an adult, we don’t ask grandparents to be regular parents. 
• Honor all three generations in your family. Celebrate the child, the parent, and the grandparent.  Especially teach this to your children. 
• Establish authority levels in the life of the child.  One of the tenets of a Christian life is to learn proper and appropriate submission. Modeling this in the family is their first opportunity of what it looks like to submit to God’s authority. 
• As the parents, you establish the Ways of your house.  You hope that anyone connected to your family will honor those ways, but at the end of the day, you are the one responsible for your family. 

Here are some key biblical themes and verses that apply to honoring grandparents:
1. Honoring Parents (which extends to grandparents): The Fifth Commandment is the most direct instruction:
Exodus 20:12: "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." This commandment lays the groundwork for respecting those who raised you, and by extension, those who raised your parents.
Proverbs 23:22: "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." This emphasizes continued respect and care as parents (and grandparents) age.
2. Respect for the Elderly: The Bible consistently calls for reverence towards older individuals due to their wisdom and experience.
Leviticus 19:32: "You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord." This verse directly commands respect for the aged. "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness" 

Challenge -  
Reflect on how your family dynamics are currently operating. Discern whether or not it is healthy and what you want for your family. 
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