July 24, 2025 • 19 mins
Staying in your corporate job because your ego loves the praise, the validation, and the status it brings? You’re not alone.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest road blocks high-achieving women face when trying to leave their six-figure corporate career: ego.
Your ego has carefully crafted a version of you that looks successful on the outside—but may be hiding burnout, dissatisfaction, and a yearning for something more.
The thought of letting go of that identity? Terrifying.
But here's the truth: that persona you built to succeed in corporate is not the real YOU. And clinging to it is keeping you stuck.
In this honest conversation, I break down:
✅ Why ego is really so afraid of change
✅ How corporate women become addicted to praise and recognition
✅ What it means to wear a “mask” and how it keeps you in survival mode
✅ The hard truth about pride and how it clouds your decision-making
✅ Why you must separate your persona from your purpose to truly reinvent your life
You’ll also get powerful journaling prompts and mindset shifts to help you step out of ego and into your most authentic self.
Whether you're preparing to leave your corporate job or already building your next chapter as a coach, consultant, or speaker—this episode is a must-listen.
If you're looking for additional support through coaching, visit my website to learn more about working together and my signature program EDIT Your Life™: www.karinfreeland.com/life-coaching
Then book a call here!
Not ready for coaching? Get a copy of my self-help book: Grab Life by the Dreams!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Karin Freeland (00:00):
Welcome to Rock Your Reinvention, where I help
high-achieving career women likeyou get unstuck, make your
corporate exit strategy, andsuccessfully transition to your
next chapter.
Hi, I'm your host, KarinFreeland, a certified life coach
and corporate exit strategist.
Whether you want to start abusiness, become a speaker, or
something else, I'm here to giveyou the tools and strategies to
(00:23):
shift your mindset, build yourconfidence, and take bold
actions so you can rock yourreinvention.
Ready?
Let's go.
Today we are talking ego.
This is probably one of thebiggest obstacles the women I
coach face outside of money.
And if you think about it, theyreally go hand in hand, right?
(00:47):
You're a high achieving woman,a high earning professional.
You've spent years buildingyour career and now you want to
make a change.
Not only do you have to be okaywith potentially earning less,
but you also need to embrace acompletely new identity.
(01:07):
And your ego doesn't likeeither of these changes.
Why?
Because your ego has quiteliterally built this persona of
you.
And when you reject it, you'rebasically rejecting your ego.
Unfortunately, your ego is notgoing to take this lying down.
(01:30):
It's going to fight back.
Your ego is going to feelbruised and want to maintain its
power over you.
But now that you know that, youcan be prepared for it and
reclaim your power.
So today I want to unpack a fewthings that have been helpful
for me and my clients inovercoming our egos, especially
(01:54):
when we're considering a movelike leaving corporate.
You're definitely gonna wannatake some notes.
So if you can, have somethingto write down your thoughts as
they come up.
And I hope that you will beable to unearth a lot of those
thoughts and emotions that youhaven't been able to label
before and kind of reallyunderstand where they're coming
from so that they aren't in thedriver's seat.
(02:15):
Okay, so here we go.
The first thing you need to dowhen battling your ego is lean
into your ego's desires.
Yeah, go ahead and just letyour ego take control for a
minute, right?
I had a client who recentlyconfessed that she loves when
her boss praises her.
(02:36):
She's thrilled when her teammakes comments about what a
great leader she is.
And she's over the moon whenpeers recognize her brilliance.
And so her main concern aboutleaving the corporate world is
how is she gonna feel when sheno longer works a typical job?
How will she feed her ego?
She enjoys that.
(02:56):
And that's a big hole that'snow gonna be missing for her.
See, because for her and formany of my clients, right, this
is very black and white.
You feel like you can only feedyour ego in corporate, but
nowhere else.
So I'm gonna shatter thatbelief for you today because
it's false.
There are so many other placesthat you can feed your ego from.
(03:18):
And you've put so much intoyourself, into your job.
You've put so much time andenergy focusing on your career
that right now that probably isthe main source of sustenance
for your ego.
But there's so many other waysthat you can lean into this.
So a great way to overcome yourego is to start exploring all
(03:43):
the ways that you can experiencevalidation, praise, ego
boosting in your new career, inthat next chapter, that
reinvention that you're gonna gothrough.
So if you're starting abusiness, you're certainly gonna
be praised by your clients, byyour peers, by your team if you
have a team, partners, vendors,people that you work with.
(04:06):
If you become a speaker, youraudience members, your podcast
audience, those people who youtalk to, they're gonna be
praising you.
If you write a book, yourreaders or your followers on
social media are going tovalidate you and give you praise
and kudos.
And all of a sudden when youstart listing these things out,
(04:28):
you realize there's going to beno shortage of praise in your
new career.
It's just that you've alwaysgotten it from this one area.
So you haven't been thinkingabout the other ways that you
could feed your ego.
And then what about outside ofyour nine to five?
It might be from your spouse,from someone in a volunteer
(04:49):
capacity, or from another familymember or friend.
I will tell you my husbandboosts my ego all the time
around my cooking.
And I was a terrible cook whenI first left corporate.
And when he was working longerhours and I was the one home
making the meals and like, Icould just kind of see on his
face.
Sometimes he just took one forthe team and ate the dinner, but
(05:10):
he really wasn't that happy.
But over the past five years,as I've gotten better, more
creative, I tried new recipes.
I've just sort of learned thebasics of cooking because he
never did it before.
He praises me all the time.
The other day he was justsaying like the cauliflower was
better than the main dish.
He's like, and that's sayingsomething because who likes the
sides?
Like you've just madevegetables delicious.
(05:31):
So I want you to also thinkabout new ways that you might
develop outside of corporate,where you will get praise that
you probably might even have ahard time dreaming some of these
up because you don't even know.
I could have never told youthat I would be a really good
cook.
Right.
And if you take the time tolist all of this out, your ego
(05:53):
is very quickly going to seethat it will be satiated outside
of your traditional corporategig.
What a relief, right?
So now your ego can get onboard with all the changes
because it's not like a completeabsence of it, right?
We're not completely shuttingit down.
We're giving it a little foodin this new way.
(06:14):
Now, the second thing toconsider here is where is our
ego coming from?
Your ego is merely a mask.
And if you are like me, that isslightly triggering.
Okay, quick backstory.
So back in my acting days whenI lived in New York City, I went
(06:37):
to meet with a very popularacting teacher at a very popular
acting school.
And of course I wanted to putmy best foot forward.
So, you know, I got all dolledup looking like a million bucks
and I go in there and verypolite and bubbly.
And like, I'm saying all theright things, like what I think
she wants to hear from me, youknow, my typical high energy
(07:00):
personality.
Well, a few minutes into theconversation, she looks at me
and she says, I'll let you in,but I don't think you're going
to make it.
And If you want to besuccessful, you have to learn to
take your mask off.
Like insert record scratchhere.
(07:21):
I was floored, you know?
And internally I was like, whatthe F you know?
Like, who are you?
Who do you think you are tohave this?
Tell me about my mask orwhatever.
Like, I'm just trying to benice lady.
But a piece of me was reallyrebelling that she had seen
through it all.
How did she know I'm wearing amask?
Like what?
(07:42):
I was so confused and I wasreally offended, but of course I
have my mask on, right?
Like we just met.
Wasn't that what you do whenyou meet someone?
Like you don't show up and beareverything, right?
But anyway, we all have masks.
And if you want to overcomeyour ego, you really have no
(08:02):
choice but to ditch it.
Our ego has learned over timewhat is acceptable and what's
not.
what part of ourselves we canshow and what we need to hide.
And because of this, your egois partly trying to protect you
and partly not even real.
It's just a figment of yourimagination, of your
(08:24):
circumstances, of yourenvironment.
And when we live in thisegocentric state, we're
constantly in a state ofanxiety.
Is this all starting to clicknow?
Is this like starting to makesome sense?
Because your ego needs to befed.
And because it needs to be fed,it always has to perform.
You can never fail or make amistake.
(08:45):
You are perpetually in thefight or flight mode.
You're always seeking approval.
You're always seekingvalidation.
And to take it one stepfurther, if you ever have to do
something outside your comfortzone, like leave corporate and
start a business, finally pitchyourself as a paid speaker, I
don't know, take your expertiseand start offering consulting on
(09:07):
the side, you're gonnaself-sabotage because the risk
feels too great because youdon't wanna fail.
There's no room for failing inyour ego's persona.
So the question becomes, do youreally wanna live like this
anymore?
What would happen if you let goof the mask and you focused on
(09:30):
taking the right steps to live amore fulfilling life, to get
where you really wanna go inyour career, to achieve those
big goals.
How would you experience moreease in your life if you let go
of your ego?
What would you do differentlyif your ego wasn't in the
driver's seat?
(09:50):
You know, these are some greatquestions for you to journal on
and really dig into and get alittle bit deeper.
I highly encourage you to comeback or like hit replay on this,
write those questions down andthen go journal on them.
So it's time to take off themask.
It's time to let that personathat you've created go.
And now let's talk about thethird step.
(10:13):
And this next one might be thehardest of all to reckon with
because of your ego and becauseof this mask and you've built up
this persona.
And everyone in your worldknows and loves or tolerates
that persona.
Let me give you an example.
When I was in corporate aschief of staff for a tech
(10:36):
company, I had built up apersona to protect me in that
environment, right?
I knew what I needed to say,how I could show up, what was
acceptable, what wasn't.
And so I also had a bit of areputation for being somewhat of
a pit bull, right?
Like a dog on a bone, accordingto our CMO.
But let me assure you, he didnot mean this in a good way.
(11:00):
He meant I was annoying thecrap out of him, constantly
chasing him down to get what thepresident wanted.
And it was like too much.
At the same time, women in ourorganization looked up to me
because I was the first chief ofstaff in that division who was
female.
They thought I had it alltogether.
Look at her.
She's like the epitome ofworking mom.
She's got a good job, a goodsalary.
(11:22):
She's in with the C-suite.
She's happily married.
what wasn't to love but theyhad no idea that i was secretly
crumbling behind the scenes iwas drinking more than ever
right like there were so manythings my husband and i were
like in probably one of ourrocky estates but no one had any
(11:42):
idea so here's the thing my egoloved all the praise and
attention but that wasn't evenme no one actually loved me the
real Karin, they loved mypersona or tolerated my persona.
And let me tell you, there isnothing more exhausting than
(12:06):
pretending to be someone thatyou're not.
It was one of the hardest yearsof my life.
So here you are all worriedabout making a pivot and what
others are gonna think aboutyou.
Will anyone stay in touch if Ileave?
What if I fail?
Will others delight in mydemise?
Who cares?
They don't even know the realyou.
(12:26):
They don't care about the realyou.
They only know the you that youcreated.
And for me, when I finallyreally embraced and understood
this concept, it was so freeing.
And the more I embraced it, theeasier it was for me to
reinvent.
Who would you be if you stoppedhiding behind your persona?
(12:51):
That is a very powerfulquestion.
L astly, and I want to bereally blunt here.
Please don't take it toopersonally.
Your pride is getting the bestof you.
I'm not saying you can't beproud of your accomplishments or
who you are, but I am sayingthat you've probably given pride
(13:13):
more than its fair share ofspace in your life.
That's how your ego got sopowerful in the first place.
And I'm not talking about thecocky braggadocious person
either, because that's not you.
Most women aren't that way, butyou have let your ability to
climb the ladder and hit certainearnings tiers and titles.
(13:35):
How'd your vision?
You've given yourself thatlittle extra pat on the back.
You know what I'm talkingabout?
And I know that this can bereally hard to hear and I'm not
judging you.
Okay.
Because I'm fighting thisbattle right alongside you every
single day.
I hope you'll look really deepinto your heart and get honest
(13:55):
with yourself about the rolethat pride is playing in your
life.
And I will give you a veryrecent example.
Two nights ago, my husband andI went to see the Screwtape
Letters at the theater.
Fabulous play, by the way.
And when we were walking out,we were talking about the play
and I don't remember the exactconversation that we were
(14:15):
having, but there was a way forme to kind of mention that I was
an author and, you know, oh,well in my book, like just kind
of position it in a way that thecouples around me would hear
what I was saying.
And I have this thought like,oh, well, if I say this and I
say my book, then people aroundme are going to turn around and
(14:37):
look and be like, oh, we have anauthor among us.
Right.
Cause I didn't want just him tohear the thought I was having.
I wanted to say it loudlyenough that others would turn
around and like, that's sick.
I know.
But real talk.
I thankfully caught myself andwas like, Karin, why are you
going to say that?
You're going to say thatbecause you want other people to
(14:57):
turn around and see that you'rean author.
Right?
So I had to quickly get mypride in check, but let me tell
you what unchecked I'd be amonster.
If I did not consciously thinkabout the role that pride is
playing in my life every singleday, I would just be out.
I would be that braggadociousperson, right?
So it's something I have toconstantly work on.
(15:19):
And for me, because I have avery spiritual life, right?
I've had to ask God, like, whatis the role that you want pride
playing in my life?
Where can I be more humble inmy life?
Right?
And so a lot of times my prayeris just simply like, God,
change my heart.
So that I don't want to be soprideful or that I don't need to
(15:41):
get praise from others.
And if you're not religious,that's okay, right?
Just how would you be morehumble without your ego, right?
How would being more humblehelp you show up differently,
serve others differently?
What actions would I feel morecomfortable taking if I let go
of my pride?
because we know pride is one ofthe seven deadly sins.
(16:04):
So regardless of your spiritualbackground, this is not a
positive thing.
So let's look at this from anexample, right?
Let's say that you are at acrossroads right now.
And you're like, okay, I'm inthis role in this career.
I've been here for severalyears.
I've kind of got two options.
I can either go for a promotionat my current company, or I can
(16:25):
leave and start my ownbusiness.
Like which direction am I goingto go?
If you have a lot of pride andego, that's an easy option,
right?
You're just gonna go for thepromotion.
That way you can say youfinally made it to director or
VP, and you can finally say youmade X amount of money.
But here's the thing.
Oh, please don't take this toohard.
(16:46):
No one cares.
No one actually cares.
There was a golfer the otherday.
I saw his post on Instagram.
I shared it in my stories, buthe said, I worked my whole life
to win this tournament, So what?
Who cares?
He's like, it's not fulfilling.
He's like, yeah, it's great.
I accomplished it, but thisisn't a fulfilling life.
(17:08):
Then I'm like, okay, now wheredo we go for dinner?
Right?
It's like, you work so hard toachieve this thing.
And then it's like, okay, next.
So I hate to like be the bearerof bad news, but This is your
ego.
This is your pride pushing you.
And if you let that go, youmight realize that you can start
a business and make nearly asmuch money as you did, but now
(17:31):
do it on your terms.
And that's a pretty admirablething to do, right?
That's pretty bad-ass, is itnot?
Going back to my first point,you'll have no shortage of
things to feed your ego.
I promise you that.
But what if we even look at itmore humbly?
You won't have to haveperformance anxiety anymore
because you won't be in thatstate of having to prove
(17:51):
something to someone or prove toeveryone that you can do this
business.
Instead, you'll just be youexecuting to the best of your
ability, living out your mostauthentic life.
What could be more freeing thanthat?
But you have to be willing tolet go of pride or at the very
(18:13):
least, put it in check.
So there you have it, four waysto ditch your ego so that you
can truly reinvent your life andbe the person you were created
to be.
As a reminder, First, you'regonna make sure you lean into
that ego.
See all the ways that you canfeed it.
I think you'll be verysurprised.
(18:33):
Then you're gonna ditch thatmask because you are hiding
behind that and it is justpreventing you from being your
authentic self.
Then you're gonna stop hidingbehind your persona because it's
not even the real you andpeople are just like in love
with this idea of who they thinkyou are.
And then we're gonna tamp downour pride.
(18:54):
And if you want support withany of these things that we
discussed today, be sure to keeplistening for how to book a
complimentary empowered exitcall with me.
I would love to help you wreckyour reinvention.
Thanks for tuning in.
I hope you're inspired to takeaction by committing to one of
the tips or strategies we talkedabout in today's episode.
(19:16):
If you want more accountabilityand support, I've got your
back.
Book a complimentary empoweredexit strategy call today.
Visit karinfreeland.com tolearn more and book your
45-minute session.
Welcome to Rock Your Reinvention, where I help
high-achieving career women likeyou get unstuck, make your
corporate exit strategy, andsuccessfully transition to your
next chapter.
Hi, I'm your host, KarinFreeland, a certified life coach
and corporate exit strategist.
Whether you want to start abusiness, become a speaker, or
something else, I'm here to giveyou the tools and strategies to
(00:23):
shift your mindset, build yourconfidence, and take bold
actions so you can rock yourreinvention.
Ready?
Let's go.
Today we are talking ego.
This is probably one of thebiggest obstacles the women I
coach face outside of money.
And if you think about it, theyreally go hand in hand, right?
(00:47):
You're a high achieving woman,a high earning professional.
You've spent years buildingyour career and now you want to
make a change.
Not only do you have to be okaywith potentially earning less,
but you also need to embrace acompletely new identity.
(01:07):
And your ego doesn't likeeither of these changes.
Why?
Because your ego has quiteliterally built this persona of
you.
And when you reject it, you'rebasically rejecting your ego.
Unfortunately, your ego is notgoing to take this lying down.
(01:30):
It's going to fight back.
Your ego is going to feelbruised and want to maintain its
power over you.
But now that you know that, youcan be prepared for it and
reclaim your power.
So today I want to unpack a fewthings that have been helpful
for me and my clients inovercoming our egos, especially
(01:54):
when we're considering a movelike leaving corporate.
You're definitely gonna wannatake some notes.
So if you can, have somethingto write down your thoughts as
they come up.
And I hope that you will beable to unearth a lot of those
thoughts and emotions that youhaven't been able to label
before and kind of reallyunderstand where they're coming
from so that they aren't in thedriver's seat.
(02:15):
Okay, so here we go.
The first thing you need to dowhen battling your ego is lean
into your ego's desires.
Yeah, go ahead and just letyour ego take control for a
minute, right?
I had a client who recentlyconfessed that she loves when
her boss praises her.
(02:36):
She's thrilled when her teammakes comments about what a
great leader she is.
And she's over the moon whenpeers recognize her brilliance.
And so her main concern aboutleaving the corporate world is
how is she gonna feel when sheno longer works a typical job?
How will she feed her ego?
She enjoys that.
(02:56):
And that's a big hole that'snow gonna be missing for her.
See, because for her and formany of my clients, right, this
is very black and white.
You feel like you can only feedyour ego in corporate, but
nowhere else.
So I'm gonna shatter thatbelief for you today because
it's false.
There are so many other placesthat you can feed your ego from.
(03:18):
And you've put so much intoyourself, into your job.
You've put so much time andenergy focusing on your career
that right now that probably isthe main source of sustenance
for your ego.
But there's so many other waysthat you can lean into this.
So a great way to overcome yourego is to start exploring all
(03:43):
the ways that you can experiencevalidation, praise, ego
boosting in your new career, inthat next chapter, that
reinvention that you're gonna gothrough.
So if you're starting abusiness, you're certainly gonna
be praised by your clients, byyour peers, by your team if you
have a team, partners, vendors,people that you work with.
(04:06):
If you become a speaker, youraudience members, your podcast
audience, those people who youtalk to, they're gonna be
praising you.
If you write a book, yourreaders or your followers on
social media are going tovalidate you and give you praise
and kudos.
And all of a sudden when youstart listing these things out,
(04:28):
you realize there's going to beno shortage of praise in your
new career.
It's just that you've alwaysgotten it from this one area.
So you haven't been thinkingabout the other ways that you
could feed your ego.
And then what about outside ofyour nine to five?
It might be from your spouse,from someone in a volunteer
(04:49):
capacity, or from another familymember or friend.
I will tell you my husbandboosts my ego all the time
around my cooking.
And I was a terrible cook whenI first left corporate.
And when he was working longerhours and I was the one home
making the meals and like, Icould just kind of see on his
face.
Sometimes he just took one forthe team and ate the dinner, but
(05:10):
he really wasn't that happy.
But over the past five years,as I've gotten better, more
creative, I tried new recipes.
I've just sort of learned thebasics of cooking because he
never did it before.
He praises me all the time.
The other day he was justsaying like the cauliflower was
better than the main dish.
He's like, and that's sayingsomething because who likes the
sides?
Like you've just madevegetables delicious.
(05:31):
So I want you to also thinkabout new ways that you might
develop outside of corporate,where you will get praise that
you probably might even have ahard time dreaming some of these
up because you don't even know.
I could have never told youthat I would be a really good
cook.
Right.
And if you take the time tolist all of this out, your ego
(05:53):
is very quickly going to seethat it will be satiated outside
of your traditional corporategig.
What a relief, right?
So now your ego can get onboard with all the changes
because it's not like a completeabsence of it, right?
We're not completely shuttingit down.
We're giving it a little foodin this new way.
(06:14):
Now, the second thing toconsider here is where is our
ego coming from?
Your ego is merely a mask.
And if you are like me, that isslightly triggering.
Okay, quick backstory.
So back in my acting days whenI lived in New York City, I went
(06:37):
to meet with a very popularacting teacher at a very popular
acting school.
And of course I wanted to putmy best foot forward.
So, you know, I got all dolledup looking like a million bucks
and I go in there and verypolite and bubbly.
And like, I'm saying all theright things, like what I think
she wants to hear from me, youknow, my typical high energy
(07:00):
personality.
Well, a few minutes into theconversation, she looks at me
and she says, I'll let you in,but I don't think you're going
to make it.
And If you want to besuccessful, you have to learn to
take your mask off.
Like insert record scratchhere.
(07:21):
I was floored, you know?
And internally I was like, whatthe F you know?
Like, who are you?
Who do you think you are tohave this?
Tell me about my mask orwhatever.
Like, I'm just trying to benice lady.
But a piece of me was reallyrebelling that she had seen
through it all.
How did she know I'm wearing amask?
Like what?
(07:42):
I was so confused and I wasreally offended, but of course I
have my mask on, right?
Like we just met.
Wasn't that what you do whenyou meet someone?
Like you don't show up and beareverything, right?
But anyway, we all have masks.
And if you want to overcomeyour ego, you really have no
(08:02):
choice but to ditch it.
Our ego has learned over timewhat is acceptable and what's
not.
what part of ourselves we canshow and what we need to hide.
And because of this, your egois partly trying to protect you
and partly not even real.
It's just a figment of yourimagination, of your
(08:24):
circumstances, of yourenvironment.
And when we live in thisegocentric state, we're
constantly in a state ofanxiety.
Is this all starting to clicknow?
Is this like starting to makesome sense?
Because your ego needs to befed.
And because it needs to be fed,it always has to perform.
You can never fail or make amistake.
(08:45):
You are perpetually in thefight or flight mode.
You're always seeking approval.
You're always seekingvalidation.
And to take it one stepfurther, if you ever have to do
something outside your comfortzone, like leave corporate and
start a business, finally pitchyourself as a paid speaker, I
don't know, take your expertiseand start offering consulting on
(09:07):
the side, you're gonnaself-sabotage because the risk
feels too great because youdon't wanna fail.
There's no room for failing inyour ego's persona.
So the question becomes, do youreally wanna live like this
anymore?
What would happen if you let goof the mask and you focused on
(09:30):
taking the right steps to live amore fulfilling life, to get
where you really wanna go inyour career, to achieve those
big goals.
How would you experience moreease in your life if you let go
of your ego?
What would you do differentlyif your ego wasn't in the
driver's seat?
(09:50):
You know, these are some greatquestions for you to journal on
and really dig into and get alittle bit deeper.
I highly encourage you to comeback or like hit replay on this,
write those questions down andthen go journal on them.
So it's time to take off themask.
It's time to let that personathat you've created go.
And now let's talk about thethird step.
(10:13):
And this next one might be thehardest of all to reckon with
because of your ego and becauseof this mask and you've built up
this persona.
And everyone in your worldknows and loves or tolerates
that persona.
Let me give you an example.
When I was in corporate aschief of staff for a tech
(10:36):
company, I had built up apersona to protect me in that
environment, right?
I knew what I needed to say,how I could show up, what was
acceptable, what wasn't.
And so I also had a bit of areputation for being somewhat of
a pit bull, right?
Like a dog on a bone, accordingto our CMO.
But let me assure you, he didnot mean this in a good way.
(11:00):
He meant I was annoying thecrap out of him, constantly
chasing him down to get what thepresident wanted.
And it was like too much.
At the same time, women in ourorganization looked up to me
because I was the first chief ofstaff in that division who was
female.
They thought I had it alltogether.
Look at her.
She's like the epitome ofworking mom.
She's got a good job, a goodsalary.
(11:22):
She's in with the C-suite.
She's happily married.
what wasn't to love but theyhad no idea that i was secretly
crumbling behind the scenes iwas drinking more than ever
right like there were so manythings my husband and i were
like in probably one of ourrocky estates but no one had any
(11:42):
idea so here's the thing my egoloved all the praise and
attention but that wasn't evenme no one actually loved me the
real Karin, they loved mypersona or tolerated my persona.
And let me tell you, there isnothing more exhausting than
(12:06):
pretending to be someone thatyou're not.
It was one of the hardest yearsof my life.
So here you are all worriedabout making a pivot and what
others are gonna think aboutyou.
Will anyone stay in touch if Ileave?
What if I fail?
Will others delight in mydemise?
Who cares?
They don't even know the realyou.
(12:26):
They don't care about the realyou.
They only know the you that youcreated.
And for me, when I finallyreally embraced and understood
this concept, it was so freeing.
And the more I embraced it, theeasier it was for me to
reinvent.
Who would you be if you stoppedhiding behind your persona?
(12:51):
That is a very powerfulquestion.
L astly, and I want to bereally blunt here.
Please don't take it toopersonally.
Your pride is getting the bestof you.
I'm not saying you can't beproud of your accomplishments or
who you are, but I am sayingthat you've probably given pride
(13:13):
more than its fair share ofspace in your life.
That's how your ego got sopowerful in the first place.
And I'm not talking about thecocky braggadocious person
either, because that's not you.
Most women aren't that way, butyou have let your ability to
climb the ladder and hit certainearnings tiers and titles.
(13:35):
How'd your vision?
You've given yourself thatlittle extra pat on the back.
You know what I'm talkingabout?
And I know that this can bereally hard to hear and I'm not
judging you.
Okay.
Because I'm fighting thisbattle right alongside you every
single day.
I hope you'll look really deepinto your heart and get honest
(13:55):
with yourself about the rolethat pride is playing in your
life.
And I will give you a veryrecent example.
Two nights ago, my husband andI went to see the Screwtape
Letters at the theater.
Fabulous play, by the way.
And when we were walking out,we were talking about the play
and I don't remember the exactconversation that we were
(14:15):
having, but there was a way forme to kind of mention that I was
an author and, you know, oh,well in my book, like just kind
of position it in a way that thecouples around me would hear
what I was saying.
And I have this thought like,oh, well, if I say this and I
say my book, then people aroundme are going to turn around and
(14:37):
look and be like, oh, we have anauthor among us.
Right.
Cause I didn't want just him tohear the thought I was having.
I wanted to say it loudlyenough that others would turn
around and like, that's sick.
I know.
But real talk.
I thankfully caught myself andwas like, Karin, why are you
going to say that?
You're going to say thatbecause you want other people to
(14:57):
turn around and see that you'rean author.
Right?
So I had to quickly get mypride in check, but let me tell
you what unchecked I'd be amonster.
If I did not consciously thinkabout the role that pride is
playing in my life every singleday, I would just be out.
I would be that braggadociousperson, right?
So it's something I have toconstantly work on.
(15:19):
And for me, because I have avery spiritual life, right?
I've had to ask God, like, whatis the role that you want pride
playing in my life?
Where can I be more humble inmy life?
Right?
And so a lot of times my prayeris just simply like, God,
change my heart.
So that I don't want to be soprideful or that I don't need to
(15:41):
get praise from others.
And if you're not religious,that's okay, right?
Just how would you be morehumble without your ego, right?
How would being more humblehelp you show up differently,
serve others differently?
What actions would I feel morecomfortable taking if I let go
of my pride?
because we know pride is one ofthe seven deadly sins.
(16:04):
So regardless of your spiritualbackground, this is not a
positive thing.
So let's look at this from anexample, right?
Let's say that you are at acrossroads right now.
And you're like, okay, I'm inthis role in this career.
I've been here for severalyears.
I've kind of got two options.
I can either go for a promotionat my current company, or I can
(16:25):
leave and start my ownbusiness.
Like which direction am I goingto go?
If you have a lot of pride andego, that's an easy option,
right?
You're just gonna go for thepromotion.
That way you can say youfinally made it to director or
VP, and you can finally say youmade X amount of money.
But here's the thing.
Oh, please don't take this toohard.
(16:46):
No one cares.
No one actually cares.
There was a golfer the otherday.
I saw his post on Instagram.
I shared it in my stories, buthe said, I worked my whole life
to win this tournament, So what?
Who cares?
He's like, it's not fulfilling.
He's like, yeah, it's great.
I accomplished it, but thisisn't a fulfilling life.
(17:08):
Then I'm like, okay, now wheredo we go for dinner?
Right?
It's like, you work so hard toachieve this thing.
And then it's like, okay, next.
So I hate to like be the bearerof bad news, but This is your
ego.
This is your pride pushing you.
And if you let that go, youmight realize that you can start
a business and make nearly asmuch money as you did, but now
(17:31):
do it on your terms.
And that's a pretty admirablething to do, right?
That's pretty bad-ass, is itnot?
Going back to my first point,you'll have no shortage of
things to feed your ego.
I promise you that.
But what if we even look at itmore humbly?
You won't have to haveperformance anxiety anymore
because you won't be in thatstate of having to prove
(17:51):
something to someone or prove toeveryone that you can do this
business.
Instead, you'll just be youexecuting to the best of your
ability, living out your mostauthentic life.
What could be more freeing thanthat?
But you have to be willing tolet go of pride or at the very
(18:13):
least, put it in check.
So there you have it, four waysto ditch your ego so that you
can truly reinvent your life andbe the person you were created
to be.
As a reminder, First, you'regonna make sure you lean into
that ego.
See all the ways that you canfeed it.
I think you'll be verysurprised.
(18:33):
Then you're gonna ditch thatmask because you are hiding
behind that and it is justpreventing you from being your
authentic self.
Then you're gonna stop hidingbehind your persona because it's
not even the real you andpeople are just like in love
with this idea of who they thinkyou are.
And then we're gonna tamp downour pride.
(18:54):
And if you want support withany of these things that we
discussed today, be sure to keeplistening for how to book a
complimentary empowered exitcall with me.
I would love to help you wreckyour reinvention.
Thanks for tuning in.
I hope you're inspired to takeaction by committing to one of
the tips or strategies we talkedabout in today's episode.
(19:16):
If you want more accountabilityand support, I've got your
back.
Book a complimentary empoweredexit strategy call today.
Visit karinfreeland.com tolearn more and book your
45-minute session.
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