March 12, 2025 • 52 mins
Jem Fuller is back, and as usual, he’s firing on all cylinders as we explore the magic of learning, unlearning, and rewiring how we do life.
We get stuck into that sneaky little habit so many of us have (well, I sure bloody do) of rushing for no real reason. You know the one… that feeling of "I’ve got so much to do" even when, if you really stopped to think about it, you’re not actually in a hurry? Turns out, that wiring runs deep, and undoing it might just be the secret to a calmer, more intentional life.
This is one of those episodes that’ll have you questioning how you move through life, and maybe even changing the way you do things. Or, at the very least, you’ll walk away knowing that if you’re feeling a little stuck, you’re definitely not alone.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good eighteen. Welcome back to the show. It is typical
key at your sprightly host and our guests today on'en
roll with the punches. Our guest is Jem Fuller, speaking
of sprightly firing on all cylinders as usual. Happiest man
in the world sometimes, I think, and we're talking about
(00:21):
all things rewiring our busy brains, why we are so
busy and how to stop that. Jem is launching a
new charity that's really excited. So heaps of stuff, heaps
of stuff, and I hope that you enjoy listening as
much as we enjoyed bantering over to the show. Nobody
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Jemfuller Guess who's back, Yes, Who's back? As always, you're
as sprightly as ever. Who needs a morning coffee? Not
(01:32):
that it's morning, it's two thirty in the afternoon. Who
needs a morning coffee? When Jimfuller is in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't
tone it down. I'm just fucking excited about some things
in life that we're building and creating. So it just
feels good.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Hey, don't tone that shit down. I don't tone that
shit that. The more of those vibes that are shooting
out into the world, the better.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, wasn't it Marianne Williamson that did that quote that
Then someone someone used her quote and she said, don't
dim your light for fear of, you know, making others
feel bad about how brightly you shine or whatever. And
I'm like, I'm glad that that quote exists, because good luck.
If I tried to dim it, know, fucking it'd be
(02:17):
a struggle.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
We don't want it dimmed. To tell everyone your news
and then we can talk about life.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Some people, well see, I will tell people the news
in a sect, but just some people don't like it,
you know, like some people say, you know, you're too
positive or you're too this or I've even heard you
know that term toxic positivity, and oh jeez, look, I'm
just being me. I'm just going to be me, right.
And if I was me and I was out there
(02:45):
hurting people and ripping people off, that would be a problem.
But I'm not. We're building a charity. That's the news.
That's why I'm super excited. And I've got a beautiful,
beautiful man over in the States and his company is
called the Nonprofit Creator. They help people get the five
oh one C three if you're setting up in the States,
which is the legal charity paperwork, and he helps do
(03:08):
all of that stuff that I wouldn't have any idea
how to do. And he builds the website, he builds
out your fundraising campaign, et cetera. So Charles and I
are going to be the proud board founding board members
of a charity called the Center of Love Foundation, And
this is the charity, right, So what we're doing, TIF,
I don't know if you saw you might have seen
(03:28):
the building when we were in Nugga up in the Himalaya,
down on the main drag near the near the ATM machine.
Just across the way there there was a building where
Papu was going over and doing some stuff. We raised
money before COVID to kind of fit out a little
Internet school to give some kids their access to the internet,
right and to computers and anyway. During COVID it ran
(03:49):
out of money, so it's kind of not doing anything.
It's just sitting there. And I thought that's no good.
We need to create some kind of social enterprise that
generates revenue in an ever way. So it's the revenue
keeps coming so we can pay for the teachers and
the electricity in a little school. And also up in
the villages where we went trekking. There's kids up in
(04:09):
those villages that don't have access to education because of
the location and because of the poverty, right, so we
want to provide access to education for them. So I
had this idea next to the temple. Papa and Bebby
gave us a bit of land to build on. Right,
They've probably thought we were going to build our own
little holiday home there, but I never wanted to do that.
I had a vision to build a not for profit
(04:31):
meditation education retreat center with ten rooms in it, with
all with on suites and a beautiful meditation space in
a kitchen you know, briga and a gunctious place where
we went to dinner that night like that, Right, We're
going to build our own place there. But it's nonprofit
and what we do is all the revenue that gets
generated through this building goes straight to the charities to
(04:53):
provide education for the kids who can't get access right
and it's called the Center of Love. And so we're
creating the Center of Love Foundation, And we've got a
seed fund campaign at the moment, I'll share the gofund
me link with you. We're just trying to get enough
money together to pay for all the paperwork to get
the charity up and running. When it's up and running.
This year, we're going to raise one hundred and fifty
(05:14):
grand US to build this building and then we'll start
running our retreats through it and the money that goes
in goes straight to the kids. How fucking cool is that?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What's the benefit of setting it up as a US
based charity and not an Australian based charity. Is it
just because the contacts you've got that you know in
the US or.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That yes, also, so a lot of the philanthropy is
going to come from the States, but also to set
up a charity here in Australia is a rigmarole, is it?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Apparently I've got friends who have been going through it,
and Made of Mind down here in Torkie has just
got his charity over the line. Shout out to dig
Well being beautiful charity down here that we're also going
to be running. Some already worked for the youth around
the Talkie and Geelong region. But anyway, it took him
(06:05):
a year. This Made of Mine in the States is
going to set this up in three weeks for me.
It still operates as an international legal entity, so OSSI's
and Europeans or whoever can still get their full tax
benefit from donating to the charity. But yeah, I've been
building a pretty big community of awesome people, well globally,
(06:28):
but a lot in the States. I'm heading over there
in a few weeks to speak at a conference and
hang out with some friends at an in person event,
and so there's a fair bit going on over there.
So yeah, look, it was just easier and more cost
effective for me to set it up over there, you know,
and get these people to help me with it. But yeah,
what I'm excited about is that there's there's the for
(06:50):
profit part of what we do, the retreats, and it's
it's kind of married him with the not for profit
with the charity, so one feeds the other. Yeah cool,
and it's just sustainable. So my idea is that Papoo
and Bebby when we're not using the building, they can
use it. They can rent it out, or we can
have other retreat facilitators can rent it and that money
(07:11):
that goes straight to the charity work.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Oh how beautiful. Wish we were there again, Himalayas again.
I just got back from Tazzy.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That was as he is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, Tazzy was beautiful. And you know what, like the
last two times, last two years that I've been home
to Tazzy have felt different. I've really appreciated. I really
enjoy going there now. I don't know what that's all about.
I feel like Tazzy changed a bit, but so did.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I perhaps, Yes, definitely, yeah, definitely. And you know, it's
just true that when you change your internal world and
your relationship with self and life, your internal representation world,
when that changes your perception of the outside world and
(08:00):
not change it has to change because you're only perceiving
the outside world in your internal world. All the data
from the outside world. We've spoken about this before. All
the data from the outside world comes to you in
bits of information. Light, sound waves hitting your ear, drums,
you know, sensations through your nervous system, when you touch things,
(08:21):
the smell. It's all in data. It's all bits of information,
and we represent this information in our mind as this
beautifully wonderful hallucination. Right, your version, your hallucination of reality,
is flavored by your internal world. Right when you're in
a really shit mood and you walk out into the day,
(08:44):
you bang your leg on something, you get stuck in traffic,
you know, someone's rude to you. It's just that you
know that's your reality. And when you're in a great mood,
like you've just had some awesome news and you're skipping
down the street, people are smiling and there's birds singing,
and your whole version reality is different. Right, I am
external world, but you're different. And it's it's actually quite
(09:06):
remarkable because I don't know about you, Tiff, but I've
noticed that when I've changed my internal world, it seems
like people that I know really well, it seems like
they're slightly different. I'm like, but how can they be
different when I'm just changing in here? How can they
be different? But it's something to do with our relationship
with life changes, and so life changes.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, I agree with that. I was just I was
just coaching somebody and we got onto the discussion of
influence and people and the people around us, and I
said busyness, like, I've just I come to these tipping
points where I have to make change, and I definitely
And then it's funny because it's like all the frustration,
you resist, you resist, and you break through and then
you're like, fucking this is this is exciting. Why the
(09:52):
fuck haven't I done this before? I've been doing you know,
I feel like I've just I've gone through that process,
you know, when things come to a hea and then
you mate. And I'm like, and I've been really careful
lately about this whole busyness stuff. It's like, I cringe
when when other people are saying to me, preaching the busyness,
(10:14):
I'm so busy. I'm with you. I'm like, I'm busy too,
but I don't want to talk about it anymore because
I don't want to be busy anymore, And the beginning
of not being busy is not saying I'm busy. And
also I value the people around me, and I value
that the people around me are a reflection of what
I want to be like as well. So I'm like,
(10:36):
I find those are the toughest little transition points of
like when you're really newly adopting new mindsets and you
don't and it doesn't have to be like, oh, we
can't be friends anymore because you say you're busy and
I'm not going to be busy anymore.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's not that, but it's talking to you anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
You know. It's like I remember being a bit like
that with Mum years ago, when I'd go home and
I'd get frustrated about a little just way she would
frame things, and I was like, you can't you know,
la la la la hands over the years, like you
can't talk like that because because I was so sensitive
now to understanding the power of language. Yeah, I was like,
I don't want to rub off on me. It was like,
(11:11):
it's not going to rub off on you. There's a balance,
Like you know, you said before people that toxic positivity,
like what's your experience because you've mentioned that before recently,
like that that people talk about your energy and that
toxic then they you know, rubbed some people the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Oh just just you know, it's and it's few and
far between, but it was occasionally and it hasn't happened
for a long time, but occasionally you get a comment
on social media and someone go all right. But then
a family member said to me once pulled me aside
when we're cooking a barbie together and just said, oh,
you know, I think you should just be aware that,
(11:51):
you know, how much you go on about how amazing
your relationship is with Talia online and you share that
and you talk about, you know, how conscious it is
and how in love you are. She said, some people
might you know, that might upset some people because not
everyone has a relationship like that, so maybe you should
tone it down a bit. And I'm like, I listened
and I went, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm not
(12:15):
going to tone it down. This is my reality and
I think our love is a beautiful thing and I'm
going to share it and tons of other people go,
oh my god, it's so beautiful. Hashtag couple's goals. Whatever
they say, right, but it makes them feel good. Yeah,
and so yeah, I don't know. Yeah, So you're right,
like it's you know, it's been brought to my attention
a couple of times. But I think it's more important
(12:37):
to be authentic. You know, if I'm having a not
great day, I'm not going to pretend that it's any different,
you know. I think it's just important to be kind
of authentic in that way. But you're right, you know,
when you're deciding to do to shift your mindset or
your language around something that initial when you first initially decide, ah,
(12:59):
I think I'm going to make improvement here. That's the
toughest bit to get the momentum going with it until
it becomes a bit habitual. And it is tricky because
you notice it around you, like you're noticing the people
around you saying, oh my god, I'm so busy. I've
got to do this, and I've got to do that,
and I've got so much going on, and you're changing
your language. And a nice little switch with the language
is rather than saying I have to go to the supermarket,
(13:21):
saying I get to go to the supermarket, yeah, you know,
and rather than saying I have to meet. I have
to have a meeting. It's like I get to have
a meeting.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's funny. Today I had a seven thirty am podcast
with Harps and I it's gonna be a nice day.
It's been a bit cold since to go back to
some tasty it's gona be a nice day. And we
did that podcast and he's like, oh, what you got
on today at the end, and I said, oh, that
to say, I've got a really free day and it's sunny,
so that's awesome. And then I was like, oh, just
got I've got an appointment now, and then I've got
(13:52):
a twelve o'clock. Then I've got a one thirty, then
I've got a two thirty, then I've got a four
thirty client. I was like, I'm really busy today, but
I don't feel busy. And I don't feel busy because
I've sat down, looked at my whole schedule and put
boundaries in that I've never put in before. I've got
two I'm gonna have two full days off training clients
(14:15):
in a social one a weekend actual weekend, and one
a weekday that I'm going to do structured, actual business
stuff in another area. But it's you know, it's just
it's interesting how things impact your mind, the weight of
decision making or thinking, the weight of unconscious obligation. Like
(14:36):
I landed in Tazzy and just like when I was
in the Himalays, my resting heart rate dropped eight to
ten beats a minute and I and I took that
as almost at first a bit of a punch in
the face. I was like, okay, little miss, I go
to the dan Andong's once a week and I'm out
on the bike, Like, Okay, you've had a lot more
presence and socializing and you've really enjoyed summer, doing a
(15:01):
lot more for yourself. But little miss, there is still
a lot of think there's still your nervous system isn't
switching off. And so that was quite confronting that I
came back to a bit of turmoil, and then I
threw my bloody through a easy fit for twelve hours,
and then I came out out of the side of
that and went, actually, this is all of this is
(15:22):
There's silver linings all over this little chaotic shit storm.
This is probably the best thing that could have happened.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
There's silver linings all over this little shit store.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It's so easily, you know, Like I'm coming back from
Tazzy and I was like, oh god, what you know, Like,
I'm not getting out of my own way. I'm not
getting out of my own way, Like how am I
going to change if I can't change, Like I'm not
changing myself. And then the day that I'm about to
come home, I see all this unfolding of the gym
that I trained clients out of closed and I'm like,
what do you mean it's closed? I couldn't get the info.
And I find out it's gonna be closed for two months,
(15:55):
and I was like, oh my goodness, I've got to
come back. I've got I've got I've got clients to run,
I've got I've got to pay the deals. I've got this.
And on top of that, I don't want to come
back thinking of this because I'm because I just realized
that I want to be thinking of other stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
So yeah, it was like er. But then the opportunity
for a break in routine, which is only at the
moment most people. To start with, it was just people
coming to a different location, but that was enough of
a difference in environment for me to implement the changes
now and go, you know what can you when you
(16:28):
come in on this day, Because I'm not doing this
day anymore. So the options are that and that only.
And I've just never had that sort of boundary going.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Two things bring to mind the second one. First, the
changeing routine is the perfect opportunity to do a new
way of thinking about something. And I read that somewhere
years ago, and I thought, you know what I'm going
to do in the morning. Rather than put my right
sock on first, I'm going to put my left sock
on first. And when I put my left sock on,
I'm going to do that the affirmation of the day, right,
And because it was a break in the routine, I'd
(16:58):
go to do the right socking. Oh no, hang on,
put your left sock on first.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And just that.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Simple little break of routine created a break state where
I could put in this new affirmation. Right. That was cool.
And then the other thing you were talking about, you know,
you have this break, you go down to Tas and
then you come back and it's like, oh shit, this
is all on again and blah blah blah. Or you
go to India and you're all calm and peaceful, and
then you come back and your heart rate goes back
up again. And for me, I was thinking about, you know,
(17:25):
I do my meditations in the morning, and I remember
when I do a meditation in the morning, and I'm
super calm, parasympathetic, nervous system activated, fully discentered, all zen
and I'd walk out into the kitchen to start doing
the kid's lunchboxes to get them off to school, and
within minutes I could be flicked by one of the kids,
and I'm fucking heightened again. I'm going, your little shit,
(17:47):
hurry up. I've got to get you the fucking buses. Uh,
I'm going hang on. I just undid half an hour
of meditation like that. What are you doing, jem You
don't just meditate so that for half an hour you
feel good. The idea of meditation is that you can
generate the ability to bring this mindfulness and this equanimity
(18:07):
into your life, right yes, So then I started thinking, well,
what can I do to get better at bringing that
into more into life. And it's not to say that
sympathetic nervous system doesn't activate necessarily in certain moments like
you know, your kids playing basketball by the road and
the basketball goes out onto the road and there's a
car coming and your kid's going to get run over,
(18:29):
and you need to be sympathetic on boom act get
the kids, save their life. Right of course, Now that's
an extreme example of what I'm talking about, but there
are times when it is functional to switch it on
and act fast, fight or flight, grab the kid. But
then once the danger's gone, most of us staying stressed
(18:50):
like that. But the rest of the day, right, all day,
Oh my god, the kid, Oh my god, and this
and that, and they go into every situation with this
you know, vibrational energy kind of freaking like this, and
then they go home and cook the dinner and then
they get that first glass of wine and swallow it
and go, oh my god. Right, it's like, wow, ninety
nine percent of that energy was not necessary. You saved
(19:13):
the kid. You're not in danger anymore. How do we
reactivate parasympathetic? How do we come back to being calm
and centered? And there are ways, you know, and it's
about creating the habit of recalibrating back to a place
of equanimity throughout the day, you know, in between tasks.
(19:33):
That's why I always bang on about the pause moments,
or you know, just stopping in between tasks. Hang on
a second, it's only going to take me thirty seconds.
Just breathe more slowly, bring that heart right back down again,
and then continue. You know.
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(20:12):
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Like I cleared a chunk of one day and I
(20:32):
was like, well, if I have my clients get me
out of bed early, so I should just go do
But the thing is, that's a routine. The brain goes on,
I focus on others. I'm doing that, then I come home,
then I eat, So there's that habit loop. So I performed,
and then I can't get my brain to switch into hey,
we're not doing all that today Thursday, it's all about
(20:55):
this now. My brain's like now we're already halfway through it.
This is what we do, is what we're doing then,
and I'm like in this place of frustration, so just going, nah,
are we started day completely differently? Yeah, and not bookending
it with training at the end of the day. I'm
playing with that for whiles after there's a few afternoons,
I'm training at four And although that's a me thing,
(21:18):
it's a social thing, it's it also is I don't know,
it kind of blocks the whole day becomes an obligation.
Yeah right, it's really not like sort of it stops
em switching off because then it's rush, rush, rush to
get things done, to get out the door, to go train.
So I'm feeling a bit kind of on when I
get there, and then it's like, Okay, that's done, got
(21:40):
to get home, have some dinner. Oh, gotta wine, Like,
gotta winds down. Winding down should just fucking happen. But
I'm on this, I mean this, gotta wind's down. Now
we're like you know, oh that you know, like, so
my day ends at three point thirty because I've got
to get to the gym by four some my time's
cut short. So then that whole day, thirday ends up.
(22:01):
Actually it's only a couple of hours because by the
time you wind down from your clients and try and
switch on, then the clock and you're like, oh, I've
only got a little bit of time left, and then
you get into oh what am I going to fit in?
And then you don't fit anything in. Then you're out
the door. Like it's such a loop, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But I reckon, I reckon. So many people listening are
just going, oh my god, you too, Like they'll have
their own version of that. It's most of us, it's
most of us. One thing you did say in there,
which was alluding to that we are creatures of habit
and that we can make that work in our favor.
So yeah, it takes a bit of effort to create
a new habit, but once the new habit's created, it
(22:37):
doesn't take any effort at all because it is habitual,
you know, And once something's habitual, that doesn't take effort.
It's just something that you do So if you if
you can get through the roll up your sleeves and
put conscious, intentional effort into creating that new habit, get
through that bit, and then you know, then it's just easy.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah. I was reading before I went away, The Power
of Habit, which I'd bought on audible ages ago and
haven't listened for long times. Just revisiting that, but it
is one of those books that's very long, with a
lot of long you know, when you get into a
book and then they just go through fucking long winded
stories of companies, Like, yeah, I get it, Yeah, I
get it. Can is there more worth listening to here?
(23:21):
Or you just going to bang on about stories that too.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Many, too long? You know, I've told you about Blinkist, right,
the app Blinkers.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, yeah, it just goes right.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Here are the dot points. Fifteen minutes. Bang, there's the book,
there's the takeaways. I'm like, sometimes that's really helpful. Sometimes
it's nice to read fictional stories. But you know, there's
another book I've just finished reading as well, which is
an awesome book. And he's a very very intelligent man.
V Aal Noah Harari who wrote Sapiens and his most
recent book is called Nexus, and it's fascinating, but dude,
(23:55):
you don't need to give me seven stories to exemplify
the point. I got it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
There was one book. I was listening to it and
people of from Reference and it's stories are great, but
someone was referencing the guy that was referencing, not the
guy that would Michaelangelo and the crafting of the David,
but they were referencing him and his journey and to
a level of degree or I was like, you weren't
(24:20):
fucking there. Don't tell it like you're writing the story
like you. Oh and then he and then he put
his tools down and he and he had this thought.
I'm like, oh, fuck off, no one knows the story
to that level of detail. And it's so I get annoyed.
I get annoyed when people, you know, using tactics to
lure you in. I'm like, I'm fucking under you. I'm
(24:43):
under you. I get why you've used this as a story.
It's really good, but now you've broken my trust because
you're putting details in that actually no one could really
know that. In that moment, scratched his left ear and
made this particular comment.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
All that author I had to do to keep you
and keep your trust is just say at the start
of the story, I've got no fucking idea, but perhaps
it was something like this.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
It's all that at that level of detail just wasn't
even necessary for the point. I get the point. The
point's there, but I don't fucking tell me word for
word what he said, because that's bullshit to me.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I'll tell you what this is the This is my
last official thing that I get to do today in
terms of workie type stuff, and it's the best Friday
afternoon giggles with tiff per I love it. After this,
I'm just going to go for a run with Bonnie.
We're just going to run to and back the dog.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I get to go and train people in the park
outdoors in the sunshine. I might do the session with
them this time. And they're a fun group there, the
swim Well coaches who live locally here, and they're all
I think they're all sixty plus and I call them
my kids class because they're like a bunch of fucking children.
I'm throwing the f on a lot today. I'm throwing
bomb a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Let it let it fly, Let it fly. Be free
fucking fu word word fu be free fly.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
You spend most sessions saying to them, I swore I'd
never take a kid's class, and you guys somehow got
onto my gin. That's so fun.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I swore, you swear no never. You know, I've got
to share something with you. So Bonnie is having her
first heat. She's on heat for the first time, right,
she's one and.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
One no way the other day three weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Anyway, so we've obviously going to watch because we haven't
had a spade where letting it have a litter blah
blah blah. It's the whole thing. But because she's pure bread,
the breeders are very very like, we've signed contracts and shit,
we'll get into big strife. If some dogg O, local
dogg O sneaks it in while we're not watching, we're
in big trouble anyway, So we can't let her play
(26:59):
down at Oval at the moment. And we're just taking
her for runs with us, And I said to Tars,
you know, can I let her off the league? Because
when I run, she runs with me. If she gets
a little bit distracted as caller and she comes, she's
a good girl. But anyway, so tarl sends me this
photo just before we came on to record this. Tarl
sends me this photo and she's gone and got her
(27:19):
like a little nappy thing.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I was just thinking that. I'm like, put a nappy
on her.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
And I laugh and I go, that looks funny and
kind of a little bit cute and funny. And I've
texted her and I'm like, cause I'm taking her for
a run this saber do I have to leave that
on her? Where is at the point like I've got
to go for a run with her with her wearing
a bloody nappy, And my egos like that looks stupid.
(27:44):
That's my whole ego, right, And I'm like, oh, geez,
there goes my ego, caring about how we look, caring
about how your dog looks.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
My dog wears shoes real, yeah, like actual awesome. They're
called honey boots. They're all over my socials. But she
gets grit in her paws. And when I first got
the boots, and it was in winter and I had
we went from these acute to actually gonna have to
wear these all the time because I'm not going to
give you surgery every time you get a bit of bloody, right.
(28:15):
She also has this jacket that's got a little fleecy
hood and I was like, I loved I love it,
But I don't know if we can have the shoes
and the hoodie because people think that I'm just one
of those lunatic dog parents that dresses their dogs, which
I am. But I'm like, there's a purpose to the
shoes like that.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, yeah, you can, you can justify those prescribed Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh jeez, it's funny, isn't it. Our dogs and our
children are you know, big teachers of putting mirror in
front of us in terms of when our ego gets
in the way, because we care about what we look like,
and we care about what people think of us, and
at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
This morning on the podcast with Harps and Patrick, we
were talking about dogs and about them getting spade and
they were kind of saying, oh, you know, it's not
good for the dogs and that humans run everything, and
I'm like, can you imagine if dogs weren't forced to
be spade? Like to highlight how many dogs get euthanase,
I was like, do you understand how many dogs already
(29:19):
get euthanased because humans won't give them a home. Imagine,
I mean, I go, when I was a kid, I
would have definitely accidentally let my female dog on heat
off the leash just to have some puppies at home
when mum wasn't you know, like it. It would be chaos.
And it's so it's kind of sucks, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, So that so when we got Bonnie, we wanted
to let her have a letter for her health, for
her for her experience as a bitch, you know, to
be able to reproduce. That's kind of a big part
of their purpose, right, as well as playing and having fun.
But yeah, and we wanted that, and the contract that
(30:03):
we got when we bought her said that we had
to get her a spade. And we got in touch
with the breeders and said, hey, is there any chance
that we can let her have a litter, like you
can be in control of it. You choose the dog,
you can have the puppies. That this is your income,
your professional breeders. You can make all the money you
want from it. We don't want to take that away
from you. We just want to let her have a
litter and their initial knee jerk reaction was no, can't
(30:26):
do that. And then we went back to them and
we went, oh, hang on, like, did you hear what
we said, Like, you can choose the dog, you can
have the pups to sell them, and we might even
buy one of the pups off you, if that's okay
with you. And then they came back and they said, boy.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Otherwise this is circle's never going to end.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
We're getting a boy and his name's Blaze. Oh Bonnie
and Blaze. We want Bonnie to have company. Yeah, oh
my god, how's this? Maybe we told you no because
it wasn't when we went to India together. It was
after that we have found the perfect puppy babysitter puppy
(31:06):
sitter option ever. So one of Talia's plarts teachers who
we love, she's got a dog very very similar to Bonnie,
like they're like brother and sister, and she loves Bonnie,
absolutely loves her. She's single, she lives down here, she's
a Plarti's teacher, she loves the dogs. And she said,
you can leave Bonnie with me for as long as
(31:26):
you want, whenever you want, and we're.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Just like you winning.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
That was my biggest concern with getting a dog because
we travel a lot, and I'm like, yeah, but I
feel bad lumping, like leaving my dog with friends, going oh,
look after my dog. You know, I felt bad about that,
and this is just perfect. So shout outs to you, Erica.
Love the fact that you love our Bonnie so much
and you take good care of her, and that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I just discovered, which I didn't know before because it
is quite expensive, and that was a barrier for me
of going away, that there was a website for pet
sitters and they will they do it in exchange for accommodation.
I put an add up from my trip to Tazzy.
I had forty something applications in two or three days.
I had to stop. Yeah, and I got a couple
(32:14):
and they they're references, like because you see references of
people that have booked them reviews. They were amazing and
they were they were just I got home, the house
was immaculate. They sent us messages and photos every day.
They left me a hamper, right, and this is so.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
They can just have a little mini holiday in a
different location.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
And they were actually quite wonderful people. So he was
from Geelong, they'd been together years ago, they'd met overseas,
and then during COVID she was in the US and
so they kind of parted ways and he was here,
and then for the last year he's been traveling Australia
in a van and she they reconnected and she's she'd
moved over and so they're traveling around Australia. At the moment,
(32:55):
pet sinning to yeah, do experience space and then in
another six months or so going to go overseas doing
the same. And I was just like, what an amazing
way to experience the world.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, that's super cool, and it's a win win because
the pet owners like, oh, I've got someone to look
after our pet and our house. Yeah, yeah, that's all.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It was so good. So and there was you know,
there were a lot of great profiles on that site
where I was like, oh, there's actually people that you know,
there's people with VET nurse qualifications all sorts, and so
I'm really excited about that because yeah, for me, as
someone who lives alone, I was like, it's just you know, yeah,
just a big barrier too.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah. Hey, I don't know if this is for real
or not, but Tarls sent me a clip off Facebook
or something somewhere, and it was a clip saying that
Virgin Australia are going to introduce where you can take
your pets on the plane with you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I saw that too, I mean lunar if there was
another dog on there, lunar barker head off.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
So yeah, yeah, I think I know, I read, don't
they what's that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
So I'm sure they do it overseas already?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, but they're down in the I'm.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Sure somewhere like nationally. I've seen it before. And I
was like, what, Okay, maybe in the US some national
flights you can fly with the dogs in the oh you.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Mean domestic flights, but in different countries overseas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah right, okay, Well, I mean, you know that's cool.
That'll make it way easier for us to take Bonnie
into state with us.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yes, yeah, there you go go on a Tazzy. You
can just go on the Spirit of Tazzy.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
See sickness, that's all right? Yeah, I know, yeah, I
don't know fly. Why would you go on the Spirit
of Tazzy when you get a forty nine dollars flight?
Oh my god, talk about cheap flights. How's this? This
is a plug for Jetstar. Are you ready? How's this?
So I'm speaking on a conference on a big, massive
(34:54):
cruise ship out of Japan in August, right, it's the
It's a humanitarian conference with fifteen hundred people on it.
And so Tars and I get to go and have
that all paid for, which is great, but we had
to get our flights, and so I'm looking and then
the jet Star Friday Frenzy comes on for Club Jetstar
members early, you know, blah blah blah. It says fly
to Japan and fly home free. And normally when I
(35:16):
see these ads, I'm like, yeah, yeah, it'll be in
dates that don't suit, or the times won't work, or
it'll be booked out or it's you know how negative
am I being with this? Right? I'm like, boss, should
check it out anyway, and we need to fly to Osaka,
not to Tokyo, and blah blah blah. Anyway, so I
jumped on and I went and looked and it was
there and it was available and it was real. I
got return flights from Melbourne to Osaka on the exact
(35:39):
dates that we wanted for four hundred and ninety bucks
four hundred ninety bucks return to Japan.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
How good is that? Yeah? Normally when I click on
those bloody promotion emails, they end up you got to
search through and they don't even show it. Was like,
at least show me where these I was like, oh, yeah,
there's I promise you there's a sale in here. You've
just got to manage to select the date and time
to find it. It's like Scratchy said, f bomb again.
(36:04):
But it's like doing It's like I'm having a game
of taz Kinough, hoping for the best, hoping to scratch winner.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Do you remember do you remember when they used to
have mystery flights. They used to have these things called
mystery flights and you book a flight for twenty bucks
and you didn't know where it was going.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
That is very fun.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, it's fun. It was fun. It was a long
time ago. And so when Tars and I first got together,
I used to do I'd make up a version of
the mystery flight. I would literally just say to her, right,
tilS this weekend, these dates, book it out. I'm taking
you somewhere, but I'm not telling you where. And she's like, oh,
come on, tell me, I'm nut and then she would
love the surprise. And then that morning, on the before
(36:46):
going to the airport, I'd give her a bit of
a gauge on what to pack, right, temperature, climate, where
we're going, and she'd kind of pack and we'd get
to the airport and it wouldn't be until we got
to the gate land she'd be like, oh my god,
we're going over to Perth or whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
It's right, that's fun. Yeah, what a game.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Mm hmm. There's a flight tie on. We're just not
telling you where to or what dates. What is this
fucking keno.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah, used to make me wild. I'm not going anywhere then,
and I'm never flying with you. It's like here you are.
It's like when you go, I'm never booking Jetstar again.
They're shoot and then the next time you book. When
I booked Tazzy, I always booked so the boat I
would go over it, and I always pick a day
sail because you can take a day ticket for whatever
(37:35):
price and you have to pay for accommodation or anything.
And I'm like, act only ten hours, I'll get on,
I'll get a bit of editing done, I'll do a
bit of this and that, and I'll I have some
lunch and I'll be in tazzi. Every year, I remember,
every year, I have this big rant, like within two hours,
I'm like, why do I do this? This is like
the floating death trap, like this is hell, this is
hell in a handbasket? Why? And I booked it? I
(37:57):
did it this year. I booked it and I was like,
all right, just two days hours boom And immediately I
just sat in front of a computer looking at the confirmation,
going You're just never going to learn, are you? You're
never going to learn? Every year you say you've learned
your lesson. So I jumped on straight away and booked it.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Yeah yourself, Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Sometimes slow learner, slow learn us.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Well, I don't know when I say we all are,
that's a broad stroke of the brush. Most of us are.
You know, you bang your head on a low hanging
doorway in some hotel room that you're staying in, some
cute little place in Italy or something where the doorways
are all really little, and you bang your head on it,
and you go, notice, don't do that again. An hour later, Bang,
(38:45):
oh that's the same bloody door What is it four
or five times you bang your head out the same door,
like cracky? Is that's a design fault? How have we
not evolved out of that?
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's like me just rushing in the kitchen and smashing
all my glasses. I'd buy new drinking glasses for the
pet sitters because because I've got given eight drinking glasses
last year. I know my friend's dad gave them to me.
He must have had a bunch of them, but I
don't even know why. But it was like, here, I
have two boxes of these glasses. I'm like, okay, good,
(39:17):
could I always break them now? Glasses to break that
a year later or some I don't know how it
was a year or less. But when I went to
go away, I I was looking around like they must
be in the dishbusher that I never used the dish washer.
I thought maybe I've done a load of the dishwasher
once and just not unpacked it. Now eight glasses all gone,
(39:39):
all smashed within the twelve month period.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I never knew that about your tiff, because I.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Right, because I don't because what I do is I
don't like just taking my time with things. I'll be
cooking and then I'll rush, rush, rush, we rushed. I'll
just do some dishes. I'll just clean this up. I'll
be spinning like I'll wash it and then I'll fling
across and I'll smash it. Then one day I was
(40:05):
putting it in the cupboard and I reached up and
I smashed it over the saucepan, shattered glass into my dinner.
And I'm an impatient cook at the best of times.
But that's all. Like I was, like, this couldn't have
ended anyone.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
I thought to myself, the sau full of food just
thrown across the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I did look at it and go, well, that to
got a glass in it. Should I eat it anyway?
Should I eat it?
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Can I pick my way through it?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah? Like will it kill me? I was so wild?
Why Tiff, Why do you continue to just smash things?
Just calm down, Just.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Go out for takeout or something. Calm down. See it's funny, Tiff.
I don't know whether it's because I'm getting older or something.
I don't know why, but I have. I've taught myself
to slow down when I can because I'm like you,
I love getting shit done, and I'm I can go
to a million miles an hour. I'm aware of that.
(41:07):
But when I get into a moment of doing something
like cooking, which I do most nights of the week,
I actually like to slow down if I can, if
I don't have another thing that I have to that
I get to be at. I really enjoy slowing down
and just chopping the onion slowly, you know, just put
(41:28):
on some music, you know, just it's so nice. Get
in the moment, wash the dishes mindfully, you know.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, Busyness is a habit that because I feel I'm
very aware of the level of training for busyness that
I have taught my brain where it is. It is
because I always refer to our brains like a naughty puppy.
It's like, if you don't train it, if you don't
tell it where to we we all over the carpet.
You know, if you don't tell it what it's allowed
(41:58):
to chew, it'll chew on everything. And I feel like
our brains are the same thing because it's there. They're
their own entity that are driven for a set of
behaviors that have purpose, So they do things unless we
occupy them with tasks so that they're doing the right things. Yeah,
and so I feel that sense of I'm thinking about,
(42:19):
like what dead time we've got, what we're doing between
here and here, like how to push those together? What
are we doing next? Rush to hear. So I often
check in and go, oh, we're back to that, like
what are we rushing for? Sometimes I would be in
that rushing cooking dinner and rushing to do the dishes
and going why are you rushing right now? Yeah, there's
(42:40):
nothing to get to, there's no time. Time doesn't matter
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yeah, it's just a habit. It's an habitual behavior of well,
we were just rush because that's what we do. Yeah,
very busy.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
That's what you can change. Yeah, you can actually change that.
It's like someone who was born naturally pessimistic. With repetition
and consistency over time in the right environment, that you
can change your default wiring to become naturally default optimistic.
It can actually change. So that's cool. Yeah, you can
change it. And I reckon that's a worthy pursuit. I
(43:16):
reckon that's a worthy practice dedicating a bit of your
you know, habitual change energy into changing rushing all the
time because you know, like you said, where are you
rushing to you know, there's no finish line until you
car get And in the meantime, what was the quality
of your life? Like we're rushing around all the time everywhere,
trying to get to somewhere faster, or we dropped in
(43:37):
and more present and more in the moment, you know,
And I for me anyway, I can't say for everyone,
but for me, being a bit more dropped in and
present and being less in a rush, it's a more
pleasant way to experience life.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah, I used to always be in a rush to
get things done. Like when I started my own business,
I'm like in the rush to get the website done,
and I'm in a rush to get that first client,
and I'm in a rush to make this And then
I was in a rush to build the course and
like I've got to do it now, I've got to
do it now. I've got to do it now, and
I'm like, hang on a second, do you And that
(44:18):
that desperation to get the shit done now is kind
of associated with a scarcity mindset, like if I don't
get this done, someone else might do it first. Or
if I don't get that client, someone else might get
that client. It's a scarcity mindset like there's not enough
there's not enough time, or there's not enough clients, or
there's not enough money. And I've been in it.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You don't even have to be aware of that, do you, Jim, Like,
I've noticed myself fall into it where I go, oh that,
Like it is a scarcity mindset, but you have to
look at it before you go, oh, yeah, I have.
I am operating right now unconsciously in it within a
scarcity mindset.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Like we as an entrepreneur or a business or anyone
that's kind of working solo on their own thing for themselves,
we eventually, unless we've structured it in and have good supports,
we're not sitting down going what what do I absolutely
need right now to make it work? What are my goals?
(45:17):
Where do I need to be? It's just oh more
more so. Then by the time you hit the targets,
the target is more. So you can never hit that
because there's no number of what more is or there's
no benchmarkets, just more, more and more and more. There's
no celebration, there's just more.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yeah, And you can very easily fall into I should
be doing more, you know, Like I'm sitting at home
now it's hard to switch off because I should be
doing more for my business. I should be doing more
for that thing. And so it's it's a dedication to
changing our wiring around that and learning how to go. No,
you know, there's there's not the hurry, there's also some
(45:53):
kind of divine timing. Sorry, what were you thinking?
Speaker 1 (45:56):
No, I was just looking at my board because I
wrote four names on my board before I went away.
This sounds really like almost so basic and silly that
one would have to do it. But I had to
be intentional. But I wrote four names on my board
of people that I wanted to invest in my relationship
(46:18):
with on it, like because I realized there's a lot
of people in my world, and there's a lot of
people I love and value. But my habit around being
intentional and understanding the frequency of that intention I can
be very like time, time can me and time funckel
(46:39):
Like I was going to give you an example, but
I won't. I'll give it to you off air, no
example of what I'm luck with time. But yeah, it
can pass really go up and go oh well that
was like five minutes ago and fucking six months ago. Yeah,
and so I wrote these four names down and I went, these,
these are people that I feel that I want to
invest in quality, equality, friendship. That's people that I care about,
(47:01):
people that I want to actually know and that I
want them to feel that I value them and that
they could rely on me. Now I haven't told them that,
but I never I never have before told people, and
I just think I want to get more intentional about that.
So I wrote it in front of me, because if
I don't write it in front of me, Yeah, it's
not going to fucking happen, do it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
That's great? I love that. Yeah. I'm not sure if
I've mentioned this to you before, but you know I
have certain times blocked out in my calendar as repeating events.
So every week and one of them is on a Monday.
My Mondays are always blocked out. No clients, no meetings,
no nothing. I'm working on the business. I'm doing quadrant
(47:44):
to stuff, so stuff that's important but not urgent. Anyway,
every Monday between twelve and one it's blocked out and
it says relationships. And when I get to that point
in my day and that ping comes up in my calendar,
I stop and for the next hour, I think about
one of the key relationships in my life, and I
think about ways that I can invest in that relationship.
(48:08):
And that's a weekly practice. Yeah, you know, and it's
great because my relationships are great, you know, the ones
I care about. And yeah, and you know another little
thing that I do too. And Taro's comments on this,
She's like, you're really good like that. If I'm driving
along and I think of someone, I just ping them.
(48:28):
I just call them old school, don't even text it.
Do you mind if I call? I just call. They're
either going to be able to answer or they don't.
And if they answer, and I don't have much time
because Tarles goes to me, oh yeah, but if I
rang that person I haven't spoken to for ags, it's
going to be an hour long conversation and I don't
have an hour. I've only got two minutes. And Lah,
I just ring them up and say, hey, I've only
got a couple of minutes. But I just thought of you,
and I just wanted to call up and tell you
(48:48):
I love you and say you're awesome and I hope
you're having a great day. And they go, oh, Jem,
that's so lovely.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
I've been really good at that for a little while
now of making calls when I'm walking the dog or
driving the car.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Yeah, yeah, just reach out, you know. And I've got
this beautiful community of people globally that we've all been
meeting and supporting each other in our you know, our
not feeling necessarily philanthropic. Some of them are for profit ventures,
but they're all humanitarian causes, and we're all kind of
getting behind each other. Go and go you how can
I help? Who can I introduce you to? And so
(49:21):
I'm meeting all these really super cool people around the world,
and you know, you meet a one hundred people, and
you know, ninety of them it might be that you
just had that one great connection and that's great, but
ten of them, it is like, I want to stay
in touch with you. You're awesome. And so when I
think of them, I just do a little video. Hey,
it was just thinking of you. Let me know if
there's anything I can do to support you this week
(49:42):
or or your cause, send it to them, and it just,
I don't know, it just keeps the relationship. They feel loved,
you know.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, Yeah, it's the best. All right. Well, it's been
another great chat and it's been a while this time.
Is this our first or second one for this year? Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:00):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
I feel like it's our first.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Really, I think this is our first one. Happy New Year,
Happy New Year. Wow.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
You know when we were just lastly before we sign off,
when we were away in the Himalayas, and I was like,
it's amazing. And then I got back and I was like,
you know, I don't mind the pace of life. I
don't mind going all in, but I need maybe I
need to start having a two times a year, like
(50:29):
six every six months, I have to go just get
right away, just have some sort of experience or perspective
change or break. Because I was like, I came back
and I was happy. I was rejuvenated and happy to
get stuck into it. So it wasn't that wasn't bothering me. Yeah,
it's nearly been six months. Like that's what I mean
about time? I just went shit, how what what I mean?
(50:53):
Like I just I just grabbed my luggage off of
the carousel from India and it's February the twenty what
twenty first?
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, time flies when you're having fun, tip
and when you're running around like a bloody blue ass fly,
crazily trying to smash everything into everything.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Right, Maybe I'll start counting time in how many drinking
glasses I have in the comin?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah it must be six months on need a new box.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Yeah, you're amazing. Tell people how they can help out
with your charity.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Oh yes, please? Can I can? I give you the
link to share in your show notes. We've got to
go fund me at the moment. And this is like
I said at the start, this is just us getting
enough money to build out the charity and the site
and everything. If anyone out there is or knows wealthy
people who are into philanthropy, we need to raise one
(51:49):
hundred and fifty grand to build the Center of Love,
which is going to ongoingly generate revenue for kids and
provide education. So if you know anyone who actually, seriously,
if you know anyone who donates to charity on a
big scale, please send them my way. They'd be great, amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Thanks Jim, Thanks everyone,
Good eighteen. Welcome back to the show. It is typical
key at your sprightly host and our guests today on'en
roll with the punches. Our guest is Jem Fuller, speaking
of sprightly firing on all cylinders as usual. Happiest man
in the world sometimes, I think, and we're talking about
(00:21):
all things rewiring our busy brains, why we are so
busy and how to stop that. Jem is launching a
new charity that's really excited. So heaps of stuff, heaps
of stuff, and I hope that you enjoy listening as
much as we enjoyed bantering over to the show. Nobody
(00:46):
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Jemfuller Guess who's back, Yes, Who's back? As always, you're
as sprightly as ever. Who needs a morning coffee? Not
(01:32):
that it's morning, it's two thirty in the afternoon. Who
needs a morning coffee? When Jimfuller is in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't
tone it down. I'm just fucking excited about some things
in life that we're building and creating. So it just
feels good.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Hey, don't tone that shit down. I don't tone that
shit that. The more of those vibes that are shooting
out into the world, the better.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Well, wasn't it Marianne Williamson that did that quote that
Then someone someone used her quote and she said, don't
dim your light for fear of, you know, making others
feel bad about how brightly you shine or whatever. And
I'm like, I'm glad that that quote exists, because good luck.
If I tried to dim it, know, fucking it'd be
(02:17):
a struggle.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
We don't want it dimmed. To tell everyone your news
and then we can talk about life.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Some people, well see, I will tell people the news
in a sect, but just some people don't like it,
you know, like some people say, you know, you're too
positive or you're too this or I've even heard you
know that term toxic positivity, and oh jeez, look, I'm
just being me. I'm just going to be me, right.
And if I was me and I was out there
(02:45):
hurting people and ripping people off, that would be a problem.
But I'm not. We're building a charity. That's the news.
That's why I'm super excited. And I've got a beautiful,
beautiful man over in the States and his company is
called the Nonprofit Creator. They help people get the five
oh one C three if you're setting up in the States,
which is the legal charity paperwork, and he helps do
(03:08):
all of that stuff that I wouldn't have any idea
how to do. And he builds the website, he builds
out your fundraising campaign, et cetera. So Charles and I
are going to be the proud board founding board members
of a charity called the Center of Love Foundation, And
this is the charity, right, So what we're doing, TIF,
I don't know if you saw you might have seen
(03:28):
the building when we were in Nugga up in the Himalaya,
down on the main drag near the near the ATM machine.
Just across the way there there was a building where
Papu was going over and doing some stuff. We raised
money before COVID to kind of fit out a little
Internet school to give some kids their access to the internet,
right and to computers and anyway. During COVID it ran
(03:49):
out of money, so it's kind of not doing anything.
It's just sitting there. And I thought that's no good.
We need to create some kind of social enterprise that
generates revenue in an ever way. So it's the revenue
keeps coming so we can pay for the teachers and
the electricity in a little school. And also up in
the villages where we went trekking. There's kids up in
(04:09):
those villages that don't have access to education because of
the location and because of the poverty, right, so we
want to provide access to education for them. So I
had this idea next to the temple. Papa and Bebby
gave us a bit of land to build on. Right,
They've probably thought we were going to build our own
little holiday home there, but I never wanted to do that.
I had a vision to build a not for profit
(04:31):
meditation education retreat center with ten rooms in it, with
all with on suites and a beautiful meditation space in
a kitchen you know, briga and a gunctious place where
we went to dinner that night like that, Right, We're
going to build our own place there. But it's nonprofit
and what we do is all the revenue that gets
generated through this building goes straight to the charities to
(04:53):
provide education for the kids who can't get access right
and it's called the Center of Love. And so we're
creating the Center of Love Foundation, And we've got a
seed fund campaign at the moment, I'll share the gofund
me link with you. We're just trying to get enough
money together to pay for all the paperwork to get
the charity up and running. When it's up and running.
This year, we're going to raise one hundred and fifty
(05:14):
grand US to build this building and then we'll start
running our retreats through it and the money that goes
in goes straight to the kids. How fucking cool is that?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
What's the benefit of setting it up as a US
based charity and not an Australian based charity. Is it
just because the contacts you've got that you know in
the US or.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
That yes, also, so a lot of the philanthropy is
going to come from the States, but also to set
up a charity here in Australia is a rigmarole, is it?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Apparently I've got friends who have been going through it,
and Made of Mind down here in Torkie has just
got his charity over the line. Shout out to dig
Well being beautiful charity down here that we're also going
to be running. Some already worked for the youth around
the Talkie and Geelong region. But anyway, it took him
(06:05):
a year. This Made of Mine in the States is
going to set this up in three weeks for me.
It still operates as an international legal entity, so OSSI's
and Europeans or whoever can still get their full tax
benefit from donating to the charity. But yeah, I've been
building a pretty big community of awesome people, well globally,
(06:28):
but a lot in the States. I'm heading over there
in a few weeks to speak at a conference and
hang out with some friends at an in person event,
and so there's a fair bit going on over there.
So yeah, look, it was just easier and more cost
effective for me to set it up over there, you know,
and get these people to help me with it. But yeah,
what I'm excited about is that there's there's the for
(06:50):
profit part of what we do, the retreats, and it's
it's kind of married him with the not for profit
with the charity, so one feeds the other. Yeah cool,
and it's just sustainable. So my idea is that Papoo
and Bebby when we're not using the building, they can
use it. They can rent it out, or we can
have other retreat facilitators can rent it and that money
(07:11):
that goes straight to the charity work.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Oh how beautiful. Wish we were there again, Himalayas again.
I just got back from Tazzy.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That was as he is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, Tazzy was beautiful. And you know what, like the
last two times, last two years that I've been home
to Tazzy have felt different. I've really appreciated. I really
enjoy going there now. I don't know what that's all about.
I feel like Tazzy changed a bit, but so did.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I perhaps, Yes, definitely, yeah, definitely. And you know, it's
just true that when you change your internal world and
your relationship with self and life, your internal representation world,
when that changes your perception of the outside world and
(08:00):
not change it has to change because you're only perceiving
the outside world in your internal world. All the data
from the outside world. We've spoken about this before. All
the data from the outside world comes to you in
bits of information. Light, sound waves hitting your ear, drums,
you know, sensations through your nervous system, when you touch things,
(08:21):
the smell. It's all in data. It's all bits of information,
and we represent this information in our mind as this
beautifully wonderful hallucination. Right, your version, your hallucination of reality,
is flavored by your internal world. Right when you're in
a really shit mood and you walk out into the day,
(08:44):
you bang your leg on something, you get stuck in traffic,
you know, someone's rude to you. It's just that you
know that's your reality. And when you're in a great mood,
like you've just had some awesome news and you're skipping
down the street, people are smiling and there's birds singing,
and your whole version reality is different. Right, I am
external world, but you're different. And it's it's actually quite
(09:06):
remarkable because I don't know about you, Tiff, but I've
noticed that when I've changed my internal world, it seems
like people that I know really well, it seems like
they're slightly different. I'm like, but how can they be
different when I'm just changing in here? How can they
be different? But it's something to do with our relationship
with life changes, and so life changes.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, I agree with that. I was just I was
just coaching somebody and we got onto the discussion of
influence and people and the people around us, and I
said busyness, like, I've just I come to these tipping
points where I have to make change, and I definitely
And then it's funny because it's like all the frustration,
you resist, you resist, and you break through and then
you're like, fucking this is this is exciting. Why the
(09:52):
fuck haven't I done this before? I've been doing you know,
I feel like I've just I've gone through that process,
you know, when things come to a hea and then
you mate. And I'm like, and I've been really careful
lately about this whole busyness stuff. It's like, I cringe
when when other people are saying to me, preaching the busyness,
(10:14):
I'm so busy. I'm with you. I'm like, I'm busy too,
but I don't want to talk about it anymore because
I don't want to be busy anymore, And the beginning
of not being busy is not saying I'm busy. And
also I value the people around me, and I value
that the people around me are a reflection of what
I want to be like as well. So I'm like,
(10:36):
I find those are the toughest little transition points of
like when you're really newly adopting new mindsets and you
don't and it doesn't have to be like, oh, we
can't be friends anymore because you say you're busy and
I'm not going to be busy anymore.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's not that, but it's talking to you anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
You know. It's like I remember being a bit like
that with Mum years ago, when I'd go home and
I'd get frustrated about a little just way she would
frame things, and I was like, you can't you know,
la la la la hands over the years, like you
can't talk like that because because I was so sensitive
now to understanding the power of language. Yeah, I was like,
I don't want to rub off on me. It was like,
(11:11):
it's not going to rub off on you. There's a balance,
Like you know, you said before people that toxic positivity,
like what's your experience because you've mentioned that before recently,
like that that people talk about your energy and that
toxic then they you know, rubbed some people the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Oh just just you know, it's and it's few and
far between, but it was occasionally and it hasn't happened
for a long time, but occasionally you get a comment
on social media and someone go all right. But then
a family member said to me once pulled me aside
when we're cooking a barbie together and just said, oh,
you know, I think you should just be aware that,
(11:51):
you know, how much you go on about how amazing
your relationship is with Talia online and you share that
and you talk about, you know, how conscious it is
and how in love you are. She said, some people
might you know, that might upset some people because not
everyone has a relationship like that, so maybe you should
tone it down a bit. And I'm like, I listened
and I went, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm not
(12:15):
going to tone it down. This is my reality and
I think our love is a beautiful thing and I'm
going to share it and tons of other people go,
oh my god, it's so beautiful. Hashtag couple's goals. Whatever
they say, right, but it makes them feel good. Yeah,
and so yeah, I don't know. Yeah, So you're right,
like it's you know, it's been brought to my attention
a couple of times. But I think it's more important
(12:37):
to be authentic. You know, if I'm having a not
great day, I'm not going to pretend that it's any different,
you know. I think it's just important to be kind
of authentic in that way. But you're right, you know,
when you're deciding to do to shift your mindset or
your language around something that initial when you first initially decide, ah,
(12:59):
I think I'm going to make improvement here. That's the
toughest bit to get the momentum going with it until
it becomes a bit habitual. And it is tricky because
you notice it around you, like you're noticing the people
around you saying, oh my god, I'm so busy. I've
got to do this, and I've got to do that,
and I've got so much going on, and you're changing
your language. And a nice little switch with the language
is rather than saying I have to go to the supermarket,
(13:21):
saying I get to go to the supermarket, yeah, you know,
and rather than saying I have to meet. I have
to have a meeting. It's like I get to have
a meeting.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's funny. Today I had a seven thirty am podcast
with Harps and I it's gonna be a nice day.
It's been a bit cold since to go back to
some tasty it's gona be a nice day. And we
did that podcast and he's like, oh, what you got
on today at the end, and I said, oh, that
to say, I've got a really free day and it's sunny,
so that's awesome. And then I was like, oh, just
got I've got an appointment now, and then I've got
(13:52):
a twelve o'clock. Then I've got a one thirty, then
I've got a two thirty, then I've got a four
thirty client. I was like, I'm really busy today, but
I don't feel busy. And I don't feel busy because
I've sat down, looked at my whole schedule and put
boundaries in that I've never put in before. I've got
two I'm gonna have two full days off training clients
(14:15):
in a social one a weekend actual weekend, and one
a weekday that I'm going to do structured, actual business
stuff in another area. But it's you know, it's just
it's interesting how things impact your mind, the weight of
decision making or thinking, the weight of unconscious obligation. Like
(14:36):
I landed in Tazzy and just like when I was
in the Himalays, my resting heart rate dropped eight to
ten beats a minute and I and I took that
as almost at first a bit of a punch in
the face. I was like, okay, little miss, I go
to the dan Andong's once a week and I'm out
on the bike, Like, Okay, you've had a lot more
presence and socializing and you've really enjoyed summer, doing a
(15:01):
lot more for yourself. But little miss, there is still
a lot of think there's still your nervous system isn't
switching off. And so that was quite confronting that I
came back to a bit of turmoil, and then I
threw my bloody through a easy fit for twelve hours,
and then I came out out of the side of
that and went, actually, this is all of this is
(15:22):
There's silver linings all over this little chaotic shit storm.
This is probably the best thing that could have happened.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
There's silver linings all over this little shit store.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It's so easily, you know, Like I'm coming back from
Tazzy and I was like, oh god, what you know, Like,
I'm not getting out of my own way. I'm not
getting out of my own way, Like how am I
going to change if I can't change, Like I'm not
changing myself. And then the day that I'm about to
come home, I see all this unfolding of the gym
that I trained clients out of closed and I'm like,
what do you mean it's closed? I couldn't get the info.
And I find out it's gonna be closed for two months,
(15:55):
and I was like, oh my goodness, I've got to
come back. I've got I've got I've got clients to run,
I've got I've got to pay the deals. I've got this.
And on top of that, I don't want to come
back thinking of this because I'm because I just realized
that I want to be thinking of other stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
So yeah, it was like er. But then the opportunity
for a break in routine, which is only at the
moment most people. To start with, it was just people
coming to a different location, but that was enough of
a difference in environment for me to implement the changes
now and go, you know what can you when you
(16:28):
come in on this day, Because I'm not doing this
day anymore. So the options are that and that only.
And I've just never had that sort of boundary going.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Two things bring to mind the second one. First, the
changeing routine is the perfect opportunity to do a new
way of thinking about something. And I read that somewhere
years ago, and I thought, you know what I'm going
to do in the morning. Rather than put my right
sock on first, I'm going to put my left sock
on first. And when I put my left sock on,
I'm going to do that the affirmation of the day, right,
And because it was a break in the routine, I'd
(16:58):
go to do the right socking. Oh no, hang on,
put your left sock on first.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
And just that.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Simple little break of routine created a break state where
I could put in this new affirmation. Right. That was cool.
And then the other thing you were talking about, you know,
you have this break, you go down to Tas and
then you come back and it's like, oh shit, this
is all on again and blah blah blah. Or you
go to India and you're all calm and peaceful, and
then you come back and your heart rate goes back
up again. And for me, I was thinking about, you know,
(17:25):
I do my meditations in the morning, and I remember
when I do a meditation in the morning, and I'm
super calm, parasympathetic, nervous system activated, fully discentered, all zen
and I'd walk out into the kitchen to start doing
the kid's lunchboxes to get them off to school, and
within minutes I could be flicked by one of the kids,
and I'm fucking heightened again. I'm going, your little shit,
(17:47):
hurry up. I've got to get you the fucking buses. Uh,
I'm going hang on. I just undid half an hour
of meditation like that. What are you doing, jem You
don't just meditate so that for half an hour you
feel good. The idea of meditation is that you can
generate the ability to bring this mindfulness and this equanimity
(18:07):
into your life, right yes, So then I started thinking, well,
what can I do to get better at bringing that
into more into life. And it's not to say that
sympathetic nervous system doesn't activate necessarily in certain moments like
you know, your kids playing basketball by the road and
the basketball goes out onto the road and there's a
car coming and your kid's going to get run over,
(18:29):
and you need to be sympathetic on boom act get
the kids, save their life. Right of course, Now that's
an extreme example of what I'm talking about, but there
are times when it is functional to switch it on
and act fast, fight or flight, grab the kid. But
then once the danger's gone, most of us staying stressed
(18:50):
like that. But the rest of the day, right, all day,
Oh my god, the kid, Oh my god, and this
and that, and they go into every situation with this
you know, vibrational energy kind of freaking like this, and
then they go home and cook the dinner and then
they get that first glass of wine and swallow it
and go, oh my god. Right, it's like, wow, ninety
nine percent of that energy was not necessary. You saved
(19:13):
the kid. You're not in danger anymore. How do we
reactivate parasympathetic? How do we come back to being calm
and centered? And there are ways, you know, and it's
about creating the habit of recalibrating back to a place
of equanimity throughout the day, you know, in between tasks.
(19:33):
That's why I always bang on about the pause moments,
or you know, just stopping in between tasks. Hang on
a second, it's only going to take me thirty seconds.
Just breathe more slowly, bring that heart right back down again,
and then continue. You know.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, speaking of coming back to being calm, what a
perfect time to tell you about magic mind. I have
been whipping open the fridge every morning and throwing back
one of these epic little green shots of rocket fuel
for the brain. They're packed with lions made mushrooms, ash waganda,
and a whole bunch of brain friendly focus fuel to
(20:12):
get you dialed in and firing on all cylinders. I
sure need them when I'm trying to keep up with
the zen Master here at gem Fuller. So if you
want to give it a try, head over to show
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you can get a discount to try it out yourself.
Like I cleared a chunk of one day and I
(20:32):
was like, well, if I have my clients get me
out of bed early, so I should just go do
But the thing is, that's a routine. The brain goes on,
I focus on others. I'm doing that, then I come home,
then I eat, So there's that habit loop. So I performed,
and then I can't get my brain to switch into hey,
we're not doing all that today Thursday, it's all about
(20:55):
this now. My brain's like now we're already halfway through it.
This is what we do, is what we're doing then,
and I'm like in this place of frustration, so just going, nah,
are we started day completely differently? Yeah, and not bookending
it with training at the end of the day. I'm
playing with that for whiles after there's a few afternoons,
I'm training at four And although that's a me thing,
(21:18):
it's a social thing, it's it also is I don't know,
it kind of blocks the whole day becomes an obligation.
Yeah right, it's really not like sort of it stops
em switching off because then it's rush, rush, rush to
get things done, to get out the door, to go train.
So I'm feeling a bit kind of on when I
get there, and then it's like, Okay, that's done, got
(21:40):
to get home, have some dinner. Oh, gotta wine, Like,
gotta winds down. Winding down should just fucking happen. But
I'm on this, I mean this, gotta wind's down. Now
we're like you know, oh that you know, like, so
my day ends at three point thirty because I've got
to get to the gym by four some my time's
cut short. So then that whole day, thirday ends up.
(22:01):
Actually it's only a couple of hours because by the
time you wind down from your clients and try and
switch on, then the clock and you're like, oh, I've
only got a little bit of time left, and then
you get into oh what am I going to fit in?
And then you don't fit anything in. Then you're out
the door. Like it's such a loop, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But I reckon, I reckon. So many people listening are
just going, oh my god, you too, Like they'll have
their own version of that. It's most of us, it's
most of us. One thing you did say in there,
which was alluding to that we are creatures of habit
and that we can make that work in our favor.
So yeah, it takes a bit of effort to create
a new habit, but once the new habit's created, it
(22:37):
doesn't take any effort at all because it is habitual,
you know, And once something's habitual, that doesn't take effort.
It's just something that you do So if you if
you can get through the roll up your sleeves and
put conscious, intentional effort into creating that new habit, get
through that bit, and then you know, then it's just easy.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah. I was reading before I went away, The Power
of Habit, which I'd bought on audible ages ago and
haven't listened for long times. Just revisiting that, but it
is one of those books that's very long, with a
lot of long you know, when you get into a
book and then they just go through fucking long winded
stories of companies, Like, yeah, I get it, Yeah, I
get it. Can is there more worth listening to here?
(23:21):
Or you just going to bang on about stories that too.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Many, too long? You know, I've told you about Blinkist, right,
the app Blinkers.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, yeah, it just goes right.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Here are the dot points. Fifteen minutes. Bang, there's the book,
there's the takeaways. I'm like, sometimes that's really helpful. Sometimes
it's nice to read fictional stories. But you know, there's
another book I've just finished reading as well, which is
an awesome book. And he's a very very intelligent man.
V Aal Noah Harari who wrote Sapiens and his most
recent book is called Nexus, and it's fascinating, but dude,
(23:55):
you don't need to give me seven stories to exemplify
the point. I got it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
There was one book. I was listening to it and
people of from Reference and it's stories are great, but
someone was referencing the guy that was referencing, not the
guy that would Michaelangelo and the crafting of the David,
but they were referencing him and his journey and to
a level of degree or I was like, you weren't
(24:20):
fucking there. Don't tell it like you're writing the story
like you. Oh and then he and then he put
his tools down and he and he had this thought.
I'm like, oh, fuck off, no one knows the story
to that level of detail. And it's so I get annoyed.
I get annoyed when people, you know, using tactics to
lure you in. I'm like, I'm fucking under you. I'm
(24:43):
under you. I get why you've used this as a story.
It's really good, but now you've broken my trust because
you're putting details in that actually no one could really
know that. In that moment, scratched his left ear and
made this particular comment.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
All that author I had to do to keep you
and keep your trust is just say at the start
of the story, I've got no fucking idea, but perhaps
it was something like this.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
It's all that at that level of detail just wasn't
even necessary for the point. I get the point. The
point's there, but I don't fucking tell me word for
word what he said, because that's bullshit to me.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I'll tell you what this is the This is my
last official thing that I get to do today in
terms of workie type stuff, and it's the best Friday
afternoon giggles with tiff per I love it. After this,
I'm just going to go for a run with Bonnie.
We're just going to run to and back the dog.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
I get to go and train people in the park
outdoors in the sunshine. I might do the session with
them this time. And they're a fun group there, the
swim Well coaches who live locally here, and they're all
I think they're all sixty plus and I call them
my kids class because they're like a bunch of fucking children.
I'm throwing the f on a lot today. I'm throwing
bomb a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Let it let it fly, Let it fly. Be free
fucking fu word word fu be free fly.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
You spend most sessions saying to them, I swore I'd
never take a kid's class, and you guys somehow got
onto my gin. That's so fun.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I swore, you swear no never. You know, I've got
to share something with you. So Bonnie is having her
first heat. She's on heat for the first time, right,
she's one and.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
One no way the other day three weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Anyway, so we've obviously going to watch because we haven't
had a spade where letting it have a litter blah
blah blah. It's the whole thing. But because she's pure bread,
the breeders are very very like, we've signed contracts and shit,
we'll get into big strife. If some dogg O, local
dogg O sneaks it in while we're not watching, we're
in big trouble anyway, So we can't let her play
(26:59):
down at Oval at the moment. And we're just taking
her for runs with us, And I said to Tars,
you know, can I let her off the league? Because
when I run, she runs with me. If she gets
a little bit distracted as caller and she comes, she's
a good girl. But anyway, so tarl sends me this
photo just before we came on to record this. Tarl
sends me this photo and she's gone and got her
(27:19):
like a little nappy thing.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I was just thinking that. I'm like, put a nappy
on her.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
And I laugh and I go, that looks funny and
kind of a little bit cute and funny. And I've
texted her and I'm like, cause I'm taking her for
a run this saber do I have to leave that
on her? Where is at the point like I've got
to go for a run with her with her wearing
a bloody nappy, And my egos like that looks stupid.
(27:44):
That's my whole ego, right, And I'm like, oh, geez,
there goes my ego, caring about how we look, caring
about how your dog looks.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
My dog wears shoes real, yeah, like actual awesome. They're
called honey boots. They're all over my socials. But she
gets grit in her paws. And when I first got
the boots, and it was in winter and I had
we went from these acute to actually gonna have to
wear these all the time because I'm not going to
give you surgery every time you get a bit of bloody, right.
(28:15):
She also has this jacket that's got a little fleecy
hood and I was like, I loved I love it,
But I don't know if we can have the shoes
and the hoodie because people think that I'm just one
of those lunatic dog parents that dresses their dogs, which
I am. But I'm like, there's a purpose to the
shoes like that.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, yeah, you can, you can justify those prescribed Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh jeez, it's funny, isn't it. Our dogs and our
children are you know, big teachers of putting mirror in
front of us in terms of when our ego gets
in the way, because we care about what we look like,
and we care about what people think of us, and
at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
This morning on the podcast with Harps and Patrick, we
were talking about dogs and about them getting spade and
they were kind of saying, oh, you know, it's not
good for the dogs and that humans run everything, and
I'm like, can you imagine if dogs weren't forced to
be spade? Like to highlight how many dogs get euthanase,
I was like, do you understand how many dogs already
(29:19):
get euthanased because humans won't give them a home. Imagine,
I mean, I go, when I was a kid, I
would have definitely accidentally let my female dog on heat
off the leash just to have some puppies at home
when mum wasn't you know, like it. It would be chaos.
And it's so it's kind of sucks, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, So that so when we got Bonnie, we wanted
to let her have a letter for her health, for
her for her experience as a bitch, you know, to
be able to reproduce. That's kind of a big part
of their purpose, right, as well as playing and having fun.
But yeah, and we wanted that, and the contract that
(30:03):
we got when we bought her said that we had
to get her a spade. And we got in touch
with the breeders and said, hey, is there any chance
that we can let her have a litter, like you
can be in control of it. You choose the dog,
you can have the puppies. That this is your income,
your professional breeders. You can make all the money you
want from it. We don't want to take that away
from you. We just want to let her have a
litter and their initial knee jerk reaction was no, can't
(30:26):
do that. And then we went back to them and
we went, oh, hang on, like, did you hear what
we said, Like, you can choose the dog, you can
have the pups to sell them, and we might even
buy one of the pups off you, if that's okay
with you. And then they came back and they said, boy.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Otherwise this is circle's never going to end.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
We're getting a boy and his name's Blaze. Oh Bonnie
and Blaze. We want Bonnie to have company. Yeah, oh
my god, how's this? Maybe we told you no because
it wasn't when we went to India together. It was
after that we have found the perfect puppy babysitter puppy
(31:06):
sitter option ever. So one of Talia's plarts teachers who
we love, she's got a dog very very similar to Bonnie,
like they're like brother and sister, and she loves Bonnie,
absolutely loves her. She's single, she lives down here, she's
a Plarti's teacher, she loves the dogs. And she said,
you can leave Bonnie with me for as long as
(31:26):
you want, whenever you want, and we're.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Just like you winning.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
That was my biggest concern with getting a dog because
we travel a lot, and I'm like, yeah, but I
feel bad lumping, like leaving my dog with friends, going oh,
look after my dog. You know, I felt bad about that,
and this is just perfect. So shout outs to you, Erica.
Love the fact that you love our Bonnie so much
and you take good care of her, and that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I just discovered, which I didn't know before because it
is quite expensive, and that was a barrier for me
of going away, that there was a website for pet
sitters and they will they do it in exchange for accommodation.
I put an add up from my trip to Tazzy.
I had forty something applications in two or three days.
I had to stop. Yeah, and I got a couple
(32:14):
and they they're references, like because you see references of
people that have booked them reviews. They were amazing and
they were they were just I got home, the house
was immaculate. They sent us messages and photos every day.
They left me a hamper, right, and this is so.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
They can just have a little mini holiday in a
different location.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
And they were actually quite wonderful people. So he was
from Geelong, they'd been together years ago, they'd met overseas,
and then during COVID she was in the US and
so they kind of parted ways and he was here,
and then for the last year he's been traveling Australia
in a van and she they reconnected and she's she'd
moved over and so they're traveling around Australia. At the moment,
(32:55):
pet sinning to yeah, do experience space and then in
another six months or so going to go overseas doing
the same. And I was just like, what an amazing
way to experience the world.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, that's super cool, and it's a win win because
the pet owners like, oh, I've got someone to look
after our pet and our house. Yeah, yeah, that's all.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It was so good. So and there was you know,
there were a lot of great profiles on that site
where I was like, oh, there's actually people that you know,
there's people with VET nurse qualifications all sorts, and so
I'm really excited about that because yeah, for me, as
someone who lives alone, I was like, it's just you know, yeah,
just a big barrier too.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah. Hey, I don't know if this is for real
or not, but Tarls sent me a clip off Facebook
or something somewhere, and it was a clip saying that
Virgin Australia are going to introduce where you can take
your pets on the plane with you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I saw that too, I mean lunar if there was
another dog on there, lunar barker head off.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
So yeah, yeah, I think I know, I read, don't
they what's that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
So I'm sure they do it overseas already?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, but they're down in the I'm.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Sure somewhere like nationally. I've seen it before. And I
was like, what, Okay, maybe in the US some national
flights you can fly with the dogs in the oh you.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Mean domestic flights, but in different countries overseas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah right, okay, Well, I mean, you know that's cool.
That'll make it way easier for us to take Bonnie
into state with us.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yes, yeah, there you go go on a Tazzy. You
can just go on the Spirit of Tazzy.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
See sickness, that's all right? Yeah, I know, yeah, I
don't know fly. Why would you go on the Spirit
of Tazzy when you get a forty nine dollars flight?
Oh my god, talk about cheap flights. How's this? This
is a plug for Jetstar. Are you ready? How's this?
So I'm speaking on a conference on a big, massive
(34:54):
cruise ship out of Japan in August, right, it's the
It's a humanitarian conference with fifteen hundred people on it.
And so Tars and I get to go and have
that all paid for, which is great, but we had
to get our flights, and so I'm looking and then
the jet Star Friday Frenzy comes on for Club Jetstar
members early, you know, blah blah blah. It says fly
to Japan and fly home free. And normally when I
(35:16):
see these ads, I'm like, yeah, yeah, it'll be in
dates that don't suit, or the times won't work, or
it'll be booked out or it's you know how negative
am I being with this? Right? I'm like, boss, should
check it out anyway, and we need to fly to Osaka,
not to Tokyo, and blah blah blah. Anyway, so I
jumped on and I went and looked and it was
there and it was available and it was real. I
got return flights from Melbourne to Osaka on the exact
(35:39):
dates that we wanted for four hundred and ninety bucks
four hundred ninety bucks return to Japan.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
How good is that? Yeah? Normally when I click on
those bloody promotion emails, they end up you got to
search through and they don't even show it. Was like,
at least show me where these I was like, oh, yeah,
there's I promise you there's a sale in here. You've
just got to manage to select the date and time
to find it. It's like Scratchy said, f bomb again.
(36:04):
But it's like doing It's like I'm having a game
of taz Kinough, hoping for the best, hoping to scratch winner.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Do you remember do you remember when they used to
have mystery flights. They used to have these things called
mystery flights and you book a flight for twenty bucks
and you didn't know where it was going.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
That is very fun.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, it's fun. It was fun. It was a long
time ago. And so when Tars and I first got together,
I used to do I'd make up a version of
the mystery flight. I would literally just say to her, right,
tilS this weekend, these dates, book it out. I'm taking
you somewhere, but I'm not telling you where. And she's like, oh,
come on, tell me, I'm nut and then she would
love the surprise. And then that morning, on the before
(36:46):
going to the airport, I'd give her a bit of
a gauge on what to pack, right, temperature, climate, where
we're going, and she'd kind of pack and we'd get
to the airport and it wouldn't be until we got
to the gate land she'd be like, oh my god,
we're going over to Perth or whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
It's right, that's fun. Yeah, what a game.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Mm hmm. There's a flight tie on. We're just not
telling you where to or what dates. What is this
fucking keno.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah, used to make me wild. I'm not going anywhere then,
and I'm never flying with you. It's like here you are.
It's like when you go, I'm never booking Jetstar again.
They're shoot and then the next time you book. When
I booked Tazzy, I always booked so the boat I
would go over it, and I always pick a day
sail because you can take a day ticket for whatever
(37:35):
price and you have to pay for accommodation or anything.
And I'm like, act only ten hours, I'll get on,
I'll get a bit of editing done, I'll do a
bit of this and that, and I'll I have some
lunch and I'll be in tazzi. Every year, I remember,
every year, I have this big rant, like within two hours,
I'm like, why do I do this? This is like
the floating death trap, like this is hell, this is
hell in a handbasket? Why? And I booked it? I
(37:57):
did it this year. I booked it and I was like,
all right, just two days hours boom And immediately I
just sat in front of a computer looking at the confirmation,
going You're just never going to learn, are you? You're
never going to learn? Every year you say you've learned
your lesson. So I jumped on straight away and booked it.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Yeah yourself, Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Sometimes slow learner, slow learn us.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Well, I don't know when I say we all are,
that's a broad stroke of the brush. Most of us are.
You know, you bang your head on a low hanging
doorway in some hotel room that you're staying in, some
cute little place in Italy or something where the doorways
are all really little, and you bang your head on it,
and you go, notice, don't do that again. An hour later, Bang,
(38:45):
oh that's the same bloody door What is it four
or five times you bang your head out the same door,
like cracky? Is that's a design fault? How have we
not evolved out of that?
Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's like me just rushing in the kitchen and smashing
all my glasses. I'd buy new drinking glasses for the
pet sitters because because I've got given eight drinking glasses
last year. I know my friend's dad gave them to me.
He must have had a bunch of them, but I
don't even know why. But it was like, here, I
have two boxes of these glasses. I'm like, okay, good,
(39:17):
could I always break them now? Glasses to break that
a year later or some I don't know how it
was a year or less. But when I went to
go away, I I was looking around like they must
be in the dishbusher that I never used the dish washer.
I thought maybe I've done a load of the dishwasher
once and just not unpacked it. Now eight glasses all gone,
(39:39):
all smashed within the twelve month period.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I never knew that about your tiff, because I.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Right, because I don't because what I do is I
don't like just taking my time with things. I'll be
cooking and then I'll rush, rush, rush, we rushed. I'll
just do some dishes. I'll just clean this up. I'll
be spinning like I'll wash it and then I'll fling
across and I'll smash it. Then one day I was
(40:05):
putting it in the cupboard and I reached up and
I smashed it over the saucepan, shattered glass into my dinner.
And I'm an impatient cook at the best of times.
But that's all. Like I was, like, this couldn't have
ended anyone.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
I thought to myself, the sau full of food just
thrown across the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I did look at it and go, well, that to
got a glass in it. Should I eat it anyway?
Should I eat it?
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Can I pick my way through it?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah? Like will it kill me? I was so wild?
Why Tiff, Why do you continue to just smash things?
Just calm down, Just.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Go out for takeout or something. Calm down. See it's funny, Tiff.
I don't know whether it's because I'm getting older or something.
I don't know why, but I have. I've taught myself
to slow down when I can because I'm like you,
I love getting shit done, and I'm I can go
to a million miles an hour. I'm aware of that.
(41:07):
But when I get into a moment of doing something
like cooking, which I do most nights of the week,
I actually like to slow down if I can, if
I don't have another thing that I have to that
I get to be at. I really enjoy slowing down
and just chopping the onion slowly, you know, just put
(41:28):
on some music, you know, just it's so nice. Get
in the moment, wash the dishes mindfully, you know.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah, Busyness is a habit that because I feel I'm
very aware of the level of training for busyness that
I have taught my brain where it is. It is
because I always refer to our brains like a naughty puppy.
It's like, if you don't train it, if you don't
tell it where to we we all over the carpet.
You know, if you don't tell it what it's allowed
(41:58):
to chew, it'll chew on everything. And I feel like
our brains are the same thing because it's there. They're
their own entity that are driven for a set of
behaviors that have purpose, So they do things unless we
occupy them with tasks so that they're doing the right things. Yeah,
and so I feel that sense of I'm thinking about,
(42:19):
like what dead time we've got, what we're doing between
here and here, like how to push those together? What
are we doing next? Rush to hear. So I often
check in and go, oh, we're back to that, like
what are we rushing for? Sometimes I would be in
that rushing cooking dinner and rushing to do the dishes
and going why are you rushing right now? Yeah, there's
(42:40):
nothing to get to, there's no time. Time doesn't matter
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yeah, it's just a habit. It's an habitual behavior of well,
we were just rush because that's what we do. Yeah,
very busy.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
That's what you can change. Yeah, you can actually change that.
It's like someone who was born naturally pessimistic. With repetition
and consistency over time in the right environment, that you
can change your default wiring to become naturally default optimistic.
It can actually change. So that's cool. Yeah, you can
change it. And I reckon that's a worthy pursuit. I
(43:16):
reckon that's a worthy practice dedicating a bit of your
you know, habitual change energy into changing rushing all the
time because you know, like you said, where are you
rushing to you know, there's no finish line until you
car get And in the meantime, what was the quality
of your life? Like we're rushing around all the time everywhere,
trying to get to somewhere faster, or we dropped in
(43:37):
and more present and more in the moment, you know,
And I for me anyway, I can't say for everyone,
but for me, being a bit more dropped in and
present and being less in a rush, it's a more
pleasant way to experience life.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah, I used to always be in a rush to
get things done. Like when I started my own business,
I'm like in the rush to get the website done,
and I'm in a rush to get that first client,
and I'm in a rush to make this And then
I was in a rush to build the course and
like I've got to do it now, I've got to
do it now. I've got to do it now, and
I'm like, hang on a second, do you And that
(44:18):
that desperation to get the shit done now is kind
of associated with a scarcity mindset, like if I don't
get this done, someone else might do it first. Or
if I don't get that client, someone else might get
that client. It's a scarcity mindset like there's not enough
there's not enough time, or there's not enough clients, or
there's not enough money. And I've been in it.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
You don't even have to be aware of that, do you, Jim, Like,
I've noticed myself fall into it where I go, oh that,
Like it is a scarcity mindset, but you have to
look at it before you go, oh, yeah, I have.
I am operating right now unconsciously in it within a
scarcity mindset.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Like we as an entrepreneur or a business or anyone
that's kind of working solo on their own thing for themselves,
we eventually, unless we've structured it in and have good supports,
we're not sitting down going what what do I absolutely
need right now to make it work? What are my goals?
(45:17):
Where do I need to be? It's just oh more
more so. Then by the time you hit the targets,
the target is more. So you can never hit that
because there's no number of what more is or there's
no benchmarkets, just more, more and more and more. There's
no celebration, there's just more.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yeah, And you can very easily fall into I should
be doing more, you know, Like I'm sitting at home
now it's hard to switch off because I should be
doing more for my business. I should be doing more
for that thing. And so it's it's a dedication to
changing our wiring around that and learning how to go. No,
you know, there's there's not the hurry, there's also some
(45:53):
kind of divine timing. Sorry, what were you thinking?
Speaker 1 (45:56):
No, I was just looking at my board because I
wrote four names on my board before I went away.
This sounds really like almost so basic and silly that
one would have to do it. But I had to
be intentional. But I wrote four names on my board
of people that I wanted to invest in my relationship
(46:18):
with on it, like because I realized there's a lot
of people in my world, and there's a lot of
people I love and value. But my habit around being
intentional and understanding the frequency of that intention I can
be very like time, time can me and time funckel
(46:39):
Like I was going to give you an example, but
I won't. I'll give it to you off air, no
example of what I'm luck with time. But yeah, it
can pass really go up and go oh well that
was like five minutes ago and fucking six months ago. Yeah,
and so I wrote these four names down and I went, these,
these are people that I feel that I want to
invest in quality, equality, friendship. That's people that I care about,
(47:01):
people that I want to actually know and that I
want them to feel that I value them and that
they could rely on me. Now I haven't told them that,
but I never I never have before told people, and
I just think I want to get more intentional about that.
So I wrote it in front of me, because if
I don't write it in front of me, Yeah, it's
not going to fucking happen, do it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
That's great? I love that. Yeah. I'm not sure if
I've mentioned this to you before, but you know I
have certain times blocked out in my calendar as repeating events.
So every week and one of them is on a Monday.
My Mondays are always blocked out. No clients, no meetings,
no nothing. I'm working on the business. I'm doing quadrant
(47:44):
to stuff, so stuff that's important but not urgent. Anyway,
every Monday between twelve and one it's blocked out and
it says relationships. And when I get to that point
in my day and that ping comes up in my calendar,
I stop and for the next hour, I think about
one of the key relationships in my life, and I
think about ways that I can invest in that relationship.
(48:08):
And that's a weekly practice. Yeah, you know, and it's
great because my relationships are great, you know, the ones
I care about. And yeah, and you know another little
thing that I do too. And Taro's comments on this,
She's like, you're really good like that. If I'm driving
along and I think of someone, I just ping them.
(48:28):
I just call them old school, don't even text it.
Do you mind if I call? I just call. They're
either going to be able to answer or they don't.
And if they answer, and I don't have much time
because Tarles goes to me, oh yeah, but if I
rang that person I haven't spoken to for ags, it's
going to be an hour long conversation and I don't
have an hour. I've only got two minutes. And Lah,
I just ring them up and say, hey, I've only
got a couple of minutes. But I just thought of you,
and I just wanted to call up and tell you
(48:48):
I love you and say you're awesome and I hope
you're having a great day. And they go, oh, Jem,
that's so lovely.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
I've been really good at that for a little while
now of making calls when I'm walking the dog or
driving the car.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Yeah, yeah, just reach out, you know. And I've got
this beautiful community of people globally that we've all been
meeting and supporting each other in our you know, our
not feeling necessarily philanthropic. Some of them are for profit ventures,
but they're all humanitarian causes, and we're all kind of
getting behind each other. Go and go you how can
I help? Who can I introduce you to? And so
(49:21):
I'm meeting all these really super cool people around the world,
and you know, you meet a one hundred people, and
you know, ninety of them it might be that you
just had that one great connection and that's great, but
ten of them, it is like, I want to stay
in touch with you. You're awesome. And so when I
think of them, I just do a little video. Hey,
it was just thinking of you. Let me know if
there's anything I can do to support you this week
(49:42):
or or your cause, send it to them, and it just,
I don't know, it just keeps the relationship. They feel loved,
you know.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, Yeah, it's the best. All right. Well, it's been
another great chat and it's been a while this time.
Is this our first or second one for this year? Maybe?
Speaker 2 (50:00):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
I feel like it's our first.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Really, I think this is our first one. Happy New Year,
Happy New Year. Wow.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
You know when we were just lastly before we sign off,
when we were away in the Himalayas, and I was like,
it's amazing. And then I got back and I was like,
you know, I don't mind the pace of life. I
don't mind going all in, but I need maybe I
need to start having a two times a year, like
(50:29):
six every six months, I have to go just get
right away, just have some sort of experience or perspective
change or break. Because I was like, I came back
and I was happy. I was rejuvenated and happy to
get stuck into it. So it wasn't that wasn't bothering me. Yeah,
it's nearly been six months. Like that's what I mean
about time? I just went shit, how what what I mean?
(50:53):
Like I just I just grabbed my luggage off of
the carousel from India and it's February the twenty what
twenty first?
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, time flies when you're having fun, tip
and when you're running around like a bloody blue ass fly,
crazily trying to smash everything into everything.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Right, Maybe I'll start counting time in how many drinking
glasses I have in the comin?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah it must be six months on need a new box.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Yeah, you're amazing. Tell people how they can help out
with your charity.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Oh yes, please? Can I can? I give you the
link to share in your show notes. We've got to
go fund me at the moment. And this is like
I said at the start, this is just us getting
enough money to build out the charity and the site
and everything. If anyone out there is or knows wealthy
people who are into philanthropy, we need to raise one
(51:49):
hundred and fifty grand to build the Center of Love,
which is going to ongoingly generate revenue for kids and
provide education. So if you know anyone who actually, seriously,
if you know anyone who donates to charity on a
big scale, please send them my way. They'd be great, amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Thanks Jim, Thanks everyone,
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