June 17, 2025 • 23 mins
Who are you beyond your thoughts, feelings, and labels? This profound question serves as the gateway to a transformative exploration of human consciousness and personal narrative.
The journey begins by challenging Descartes' famous assertion "I think, therefore I am." Through thoughtful examination, we discover that we aren't our thoughts but rather the consciousness experiencing those thoughts. This distinction creates a powerful separation between our essential nature and the mental narratives that often dictate our lives. Your thoughts come and go, yet you remain—observing, experiencing, witnessing everything without being defined by any single element.
Our brains evolved as remarkable storytellers, constantly weaving narratives to make sense of our experiences. While this meaning-making function helped our ancestors survive, these stories aren't always accurate or helpful. They're filtered through biases, fears, and limited perspectives that can trap us in self-limiting beliefs. "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never succeed" aren't facts—they're stories we've internalized without questioning their validity. The good news? Neuroscience confirms we can rewire our brains to tell more empowering stories through mindfulness and conscious reframing.
Ready to become the author of your own life story? Begin by practicing mindfulness—observing your thoughts without judgment. When negative beliefs arise, question them: Is this 100% true? What evidence contradicts this story? Finally, actively rewrite your narrative by focusing on resilience, growth, and strength. As Carl Jung wisely noted, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." By embracing yourself as the consciousness experiencing life rather than the story your mind tells about it, you gain the freedom to create a life that reflects your true potential instead of your fears. Subscribe now to continue this journey of self-discovery and personal transformation with us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach at Sage Coaching Solutions.
So today I'm going to ask you aquestion, one that sits at the
(00:28):
seat of your very existence whoare you?
Who are you really?
What makes you you?
What's your story?
And, just as important, whatare the stories you tell
yourself about who you are andthe world around you?
Well, in this episode, we'regoing to take a stab at
(00:51):
answering those questions, butbefore we get into it, our goal
with this podcast is to sharefree, helpful tools with you and
anyone you know who is lookingto improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
(01:13):
We live in a world obsessed withlabels, with identities.
We are our jobs, our roles inour families, our successes, our
failures, but what if I toldyou that you're actually none of
those things?
What if I told you that yourtrue self is something far more
(01:34):
profound, something that can'tbe confined to just a title or
to a description?
So let's start with the big onewho are you?
For most of us, when we'reasked this question, the answer
that we give is a collection ofmemories, beliefs and
(01:58):
experiences.
You might say I'm a person whois anxious, or I'm someone who
has always struggled withconfidence, but these are just
the stories that we're tellingourselves I'm smart, I'm fat,
I'm ugly, I'm strong.
(02:18):
Even these depend on the frameof reference.
Are you fat compared to a whale?
Are you strong compared to awhale?
Are you strong compared to atruck?
These are really justnarratives that we've
constructed over time to makesense of the world, and while
these stories can provide asense of identity, they can also
(02:39):
become our prisons.
So let me ask you this Are youyour thoughts?
Well, rené Descartes seemed tothink so.
The rationalist philosopher saidthe now famous phrase I think.
Therefore, I am.
This was a valid argument thatessentially stated the fact that
(03:02):
you can think proves that youexist.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be ableto have that thought in the
first place.
And while this was definitely apowerful assertion, something
that really got us to startthinking, about thinking and
about who we are and what we are, I'd like to question the idea
(03:27):
that you are your thoughts.
Does that mean that everythought that ever occurs to you
is an essential part of yourbeing and defines you.
Does it mean that if you everstop thinking, you cease to
exist?
Have you ever had thoughts thatweren't true, or random
thoughts or ideas that poppedinto your head?
(03:48):
Do you always choose thethoughts that you have or do
they just come into your head,sometimes without any conscious
effort on your part?
Have you ever had an argumentwith yourself in your head,
using multiple different voicesto weigh the pros and cons of a
point, almost as if two separatepeople are having a
(04:12):
conversation?
Well, how can you really beboth of those?
How can those be your essence?
Have you ever acted withoutthinking?
Acted without thinking?
So are you, your thoughts?
(04:32):
Are your thoughts what definesyou?
No, because you don't cease toexist when you're not having a
thought.
You aren't solely defined bythe thoughts that you have.
So your thoughts aren't you.
They're an extension of you,but they aren't you.
They're an extension of you,but they aren't you.
You are the one who experiencesyour thoughts.
(04:53):
You are the consciousness, orthe awareness that experiences
your thoughts.
Because that consciousness,that awareness, your thoughts,
because that consciousness, thatawareness experiences your life
, even when you're not thinkingabout things.
We're going to explore thisidea that you are that silent
(05:18):
awareness.
You are a consciousness thatsimply experiences your life.
We're going to uncover how ourminds are brilliant yet
sometimes deceptive storytellersconstantly waving narratives
about our world and our place init.
And, most importantly, we'reabout to discuss the incredible
(05:41):
freedom that comes fromrealizing that these stories
aren't always true and how youcan begin to write a new
narrative, a more empoweringchapter for yourself.
So right now, I'm talking to you, the consciousness that's
experiencing this podcast, thatis hearing my voice.
Think about it.
(06:02):
You can observe your thoughtsas they arise and as they pass.
You can notice your feelings ofsadness or joy without being
completely consumed by them.
This observer, this awareness,is the real you.
So let's take this a stepfurther.
Are you your feelings?
(06:23):
No, because your feelingschange as time goes on.
You are not constantly oneemotion, one feeling.
It ebbs and flows.
You are the one who experiencesyour emotions, your feelings,
your pain and your pleasure.
Are you your senses?
(06:43):
Well, if you were defined byyour senses, wouldn't that mean
that somebody who goes blindwould lose a huge part of
themselves?
Would they partially cease toexist?
No, you are the consciousnesswho is aware of your senses.
So are you your body.
Well, in a way, yes, your brainis the physical entity that
(07:09):
houses your consciousness, yourmind, but you, as you experience
it are the consciousness thatlives inside your body that
experiences all of thesensations and the actions and
the feelings and the physicaleffects of your body, not just
the body itself.
(07:30):
This is because we can haveout-of-body experiences.
We can dream we wouldn't beable to do these things or have
all of the thoughts and emotionsand feelings that don't
outwardly express in the body ifwe weren't the consciousness
that experiences all of it.
(07:51):
So, if you're not your body,you're not your thoughts, you're
not your feelings, you're notyour senses, are you your past?
Are you your future?
You have been you throughouttime, since you were born, all
the way up through when you die.
Are you your job, yourrelationship to other people?
Are you a series of descriptivewords created by the English or
(08:16):
some other language, or do youexist outside of those?
Yes, you are the consciousnessthat experiences your life.
This observer, this awareness,is the real you.
It's the constant in your life,the silent witness to every
(08:39):
experience.
This is the essence ofconsciousness.
It's the canvas on which thepainting of your life is created
, the story of you, which bringsus to the power of stories.
Our brains are meaning-makingmachines.
It was evolutionarilyadvantageous for us to weave
(09:03):
narratives so that we couldunderstand the world through
stories and predict what mighthappen next.
It's one of the fundamentals ofhow our brain conceives things.
We are three-dimensional beingsthat experience time linearly.
All that is fancy jargon to say.
(09:24):
We experience reality and ourlife as a story that we are
currently living through, whichmeans the easiest way for us to
think about things is to createstories surrounding them.
We are wired for narrative.
It's how we make sense of thechaos of life and the world
(09:46):
around us.
It's how we make sense of thechaos of life and the world
around us.
It lets us focus and not takein every tiny detail that
doesn't necessarily help us inour situation and, especially
back in the day, the things thatdidn't help us survive.
We take these disparate eventsand string them together into a
coherent plot.
(10:07):
This is our personal narrative.
But here's the catch Ournarrative, our mind, isn't
always reliable.
It's biased by our pastexperiences, our fears, our
inherent cognitive biases, ourtendency towards logical
fallacies, our insecurities, ourbeliefs and the fact that our
(10:30):
brain can only take so muchinformation in at a time,
meaning that we never have thefull story.
Now that might sound kind ofintimidating and scary, like I'm
saying your brain sucks, itdoesn't.
It needs to function this way.
If it didn't, we wouldn't havesurvived.
We wouldn't survive today.
(10:50):
The information overload woulddrive us insane.
We can only really focus on orthink about one thing at a time.
All of the tiny calculations,subconsciously, that are
necessary for us to live ourlives, in addition to having a
(11:11):
certain degree of rational,logical thought, is beyond what
any current supercomputer cancompute.
Life, and especially humans,are incredible miracles of
existence, and especially humansare incredible miracles of
(11:32):
existence, and we are so luckyto be humans living in a world
with such a powerful amount ofabundance compared to what it
has been in the past.
These flaws in our brain'sability to see the world in a
truly objective way are why thestories that we tell ourselves
can easily get us stuck.
We start to believe thesestories as absolute truths.
(11:53):
I'm not good enough to startthat business.
Becomes a fact, not just athought.
I'll never find a lovingpartner.
Becomes a prophecy, not just afear.
We live our lives within theconfines of these self-created
stories, often without everquestioning their validity.
(12:14):
But what if you could becomethe editor of your own story by
understanding that you are theone experiencing your story,
your life, and that just becauseyour brain tells you stories
about your life and the worldthat you live in, it doesn't
make them true?
And by detaching ourselves fromour thoughts as our identities,
(12:38):
we create a whole nother levelof power and agency over our
lives.
Now I think it's important thatI give a little bit of shades of
gray here.
First, there's absolutely noreason to shame yourself for any
of the things that I just said.
These are just a part of who weare as human beings.
(13:00):
It's okay that we havecognitive biases they're
hardwired into us.
It's okay that some of thestories your brain is going to
tell you are not going to betrue In fact, a ton of them
especially because we areconstantly projecting stories
into the future as if they weretruth and many times they are so
(13:25):
loosely based in reality,because we are making a bunch of
assumptions and then judgments,and then labels, and then
further assumptions that we getso far off from what it is that
it barely resembles reality inthe first place.
We're all human.
This is normal.
Give yourself some grace andhave some compassion for
(13:47):
yourself and for the peoplearound you.
We're all just trying to liveour lives to the best of our
ability.
Our brains had to work this wayso that we could be around today
.
It's okay.
But having awareness of thishelps you control, for it helps
you take agency over your storyand, most importantly, it helps
(14:11):
you take control of yourperspective of reality.
By keeping an awareness thatour perspective of reality
shapes our experience of realityand therefore, the stories that
we tell ourselves about reality, we can control for these
(14:33):
biases.
We can catch ourselves withunhelpful thoughts, stories,
perspectives, and reshape andreframe to a much more helpful
and often a much more true story.
I also want to clarify it's okayto have a self-concept, to have
(14:54):
a self-image.
It is how our brains work.
It helps us piece all of theseextensions of ourselves mind,
body, emotions, thoughts, past,present, experiences—to our
consciousness, and ourself-image can be a very
powerful tool, but, like anytool, it can be constructive or
(15:16):
destructive.
So how do you become the editorof your own story?
How do you take a step back andsee these narratives for what
they are Mental constructs, notunchangeable realities?
Well, this is where the realwork of personal development
begins.
It's about cultivating theability to differentiate between
(15:39):
your true self, your consciousawareness, and the stories that
your mind tells you.
It's a skill, a practice, amuscle, and it happens to be the
primary driving force behindthe practice of mindfulness, of
paying attention to the presentmoment without judgment, or, as
(16:02):
our mindfulness expert, lauraSage, said it when she was on
this podcast curiosity andnon-judgment.
When a negative thought or alimiting belief arises, instead
of immediately identifying withit, you can simply acknowledge
it Ah, there's that, I'm notgood enough.
Story again.
By doing this, you create aspace between you and that
(16:27):
thought.
In that space lies your power.
It's a form of detachment.
You can choose whether or notto engage with that story,
because you understand that it'sjust a story that you're
telling yourself.
You can choose to believe it oryou can choose to let it go.
(16:49):
This brings to mind a powerfulquote from the renowned Swiss
psychiatrist and psychoanalyst,carl Jung Jung, who dedicated
his life to exploring the depthsof the human psyche, once said
I am not what happened to me, Iam what I choose to become.
I am not what happened to me, Iam what I choose to become.
(17:14):
Let that sink in.
I am not what happened to me.
I am what I choose to become.
This is the essence of whatwe're talking about today.
Now, yes, you might be thinkingI thought I'm the consciousness.
Yes, you are the consciousnessthat experienced everything that
happened to you, and you arealso the consciousness who can
make the conscious choice ofwhat you are going to choose to
(17:36):
become in your own life, in yourown personal narrative.
The events of your life, thewhat happened to you, are simply
just the raw material of yourstory.
The what happened to you aresimply just the raw material of
your story, and your brain, thismeaning-making machine, always
wants to attach judgments to it.
But using mindfulness, you, theconsciousness, have the power
(18:04):
to choose what you become, tochoose the meaning you assign to
those events by taking controlof your conscious perspective.
Now, I know this might allsound a bit abstract, but it's
actually backed by some prettyfascinating scientific research.
Neuroscientists are now able tosee how our brains construct
these narratives.
They call it the narrative self.
(18:24):
Studies in the field ofnarrative psychology by
researchers like Dan McAdamshave shown that the stories we
tell ourselves have a profoundimpact on our well-being.
For instance, research hasfound that people who are able
to find redemptive themes intheir life stories, meaning they
(18:45):
can see how difficultexperiences have led to growth
and positive outcomes, tend tohave higher levels of happiness
and life satisfaction.
This demonstrates that it's notjust the events of our lives
that matter, but how weinterpret and narrate them.
Furthermore, studies using fmrihave shown that when we engage
(19:07):
in self-reflection and thinkabout our personal stories,
specific networks in our brainlight up.
This suggests that our brainsare literally wired for this
kind of narrative construction.
But the exciting part is thatthese neural pathways are not
fixed Through practices likemindfulness and cognitive
(19:27):
reframing.
We actually rewire our brainsto tell more empowering stories,
and there's even a physicalprocess of the brain called
neuroplasticity.
That is a physical rewiring ofour brains.
So how can we start to applythis in our own life?
Here are a few practical steps.
(19:50):
Number one practice mindfulness.
Start by building the muscle ofmindfulness and simply
observing your thoughts withoutjudgment.
Be the awareness.
You can do this throughmeditation or just by taking a
few moments through your day tocheck in with your inner world,
(20:12):
by bringing your awareness tothe present moment and just
noticing things as they arise,the sounds you hear, the feeling
of your feet on the ground, thebeating of your heart.
By bringing yourself to thepresent moment, you get more in
tune with your consciousawareness and give yourself a
(20:33):
break from never-ending thoughts.
Number two question your stories.
When you notice a reoccurringnegative thought or belief or
story about someone else, askyourself is this story 100% true
?
What evidence do I have for itand against it?
(20:54):
What's a more empowering storyI could tell myself?
Is this story a shade of grayor is it just black and white?
And then, number three rewriteyour narrative Actively.
Choose to focus on differentstories of resilience, of growth
(21:16):
and of strength.
Acknowledge your challenges,but also celebrate your triumphs
.
You are the author of your lifestory.
You can write your own storyEmbracing the fact that you are
the consciousness thatexperiences your life's story.
You can write your own storyEmbracing the fact that you are
the consciousness thatexperiences your life and that
the stories you tell yourselfare just that.
(21:36):
Stories that you're tellingyourself is one of the most
liberating realizations you canhave.
It's a journey from being acharacter in this predetermined
play to becoming the author ofyour own life.
I hope this episode has sparkeda new perspective on who you
(21:56):
are and the incredible powerthat you hold to shape your
reality.
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
(22:19):
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad you choose to learn and
grow here with me.
We'd love to hear your feedback, so click the link in the
description and let us know whatyou think.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
(22:39):
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(23:00):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
Welcome to the Sage Solutions Podcast, where we talk
about all things personalgrowth, personal development and
becoming your best self.
My name is David Sage and I ama self-worth and confidence
coach at Sage Coaching Solutions.
So today I'm going to ask you aquestion, one that sits at the
(00:28):
seat of your very existence whoare you?
Who are you really?
What makes you you?
What's your story?
And, just as important, whatare the stories you tell
yourself about who you are andthe world around you?
Well, in this episode, we'regoing to take a stab at
(00:51):
answering those questions, butbefore we get into it, our goal
with this podcast is to sharefree, helpful tools with you and
anyone you know who is lookingto improve their life.
So take action, subscribe andshare this podcast with them.
(01:13):
We live in a world obsessed withlabels, with identities.
We are our jobs, our roles inour families, our successes, our
failures, but what if I toldyou that you're actually none of
those things?
What if I told you that yourtrue self is something far more
(01:34):
profound, something that can'tbe confined to just a title or
to a description?
So let's start with the big onewho are you?
For most of us, when we'reasked this question, the answer
that we give is a collection ofmemories, beliefs and
(01:58):
experiences.
You might say I'm a person whois anxious, or I'm someone who
has always struggled withconfidence, but these are just
the stories that we're tellingourselves I'm smart, I'm fat,
I'm ugly, I'm strong.
(02:18):
Even these depend on the frameof reference.
Are you fat compared to a whale?
Are you strong compared to awhale?
Are you strong compared to atruck?
These are really justnarratives that we've
constructed over time to makesense of the world, and while
these stories can provide asense of identity, they can also
(02:39):
become our prisons.
So let me ask you this Are youyour thoughts?
Well, rené Descartes seemed tothink so.
The rationalist philosopher saidthe now famous phrase I think.
Therefore, I am.
This was a valid argument thatessentially stated the fact that
(03:02):
you can think proves that youexist.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be ableto have that thought in the
first place.
And while this was definitely apowerful assertion, something
that really got us to startthinking, about thinking and
about who we are and what we are, I'd like to question the idea
(03:27):
that you are your thoughts.
Does that mean that everythought that ever occurs to you
is an essential part of yourbeing and defines you.
Does it mean that if you everstop thinking, you cease to
exist?
Have you ever had thoughts thatweren't true, or random
thoughts or ideas that poppedinto your head?
(03:48):
Do you always choose thethoughts that you have or do
they just come into your head,sometimes without any conscious
effort on your part?
Have you ever had an argumentwith yourself in your head,
using multiple different voicesto weigh the pros and cons of a
point, almost as if two separatepeople are having a
(04:12):
conversation?
Well, how can you really beboth of those?
How can those be your essence?
Have you ever acted withoutthinking?
Acted without thinking?
So are you, your thoughts?
(04:32):
Are your thoughts what definesyou?
No, because you don't cease toexist when you're not having a
thought.
You aren't solely defined bythe thoughts that you have.
So your thoughts aren't you.
They're an extension of you,but they aren't you.
They're an extension of you,but they aren't you.
You are the one who experiencesyour thoughts.
(04:53):
You are the consciousness, orthe awareness that experiences
your thoughts.
Because that consciousness,that awareness, your thoughts,
because that consciousness, thatawareness experiences your life
, even when you're not thinkingabout things.
We're going to explore thisidea that you are that silent
(05:18):
awareness.
You are a consciousness thatsimply experiences your life.
We're going to uncover how ourminds are brilliant yet
sometimes deceptive storytellersconstantly waving narratives
about our world and our place init.
And, most importantly, we'reabout to discuss the incredible
(05:41):
freedom that comes fromrealizing that these stories
aren't always true and how youcan begin to write a new
narrative, a more empoweringchapter for yourself.
So right now, I'm talking to you, the consciousness that's
experiencing this podcast, thatis hearing my voice.
Think about it.
(06:02):
You can observe your thoughtsas they arise and as they pass.
You can notice your feelings ofsadness or joy without being
completely consumed by them.
This observer, this awareness,is the real you.
So let's take this a stepfurther.
Are you your feelings?
(06:23):
No, because your feelingschange as time goes on.
You are not constantly oneemotion, one feeling.
It ebbs and flows.
You are the one who experiencesyour emotions, your feelings,
your pain and your pleasure.
Are you your senses?
(06:43):
Well, if you were defined byyour senses, wouldn't that mean
that somebody who goes blindwould lose a huge part of
themselves?
Would they partially cease toexist?
No, you are the consciousnesswho is aware of your senses.
So are you your body.
Well, in a way, yes, your brainis the physical entity that
(07:09):
houses your consciousness, yourmind, but you, as you experience
it are the consciousness thatlives inside your body that
experiences all of thesensations and the actions and
the feelings and the physicaleffects of your body, not just
the body itself.
(07:30):
This is because we can haveout-of-body experiences.
We can dream we wouldn't beable to do these things or have
all of the thoughts and emotionsand feelings that don't
outwardly express in the body ifwe weren't the consciousness
that experiences all of it.
(07:51):
So, if you're not your body,you're not your thoughts, you're
not your feelings, you're notyour senses, are you your past?
Are you your future?
You have been you throughouttime, since you were born, all
the way up through when you die.
Are you your job, yourrelationship to other people?
Are you a series of descriptivewords created by the English or
(08:16):
some other language, or do youexist outside of those?
Yes, you are the consciousnessthat experiences your life.
This observer, this awareness,is the real you.
It's the constant in your life,the silent witness to every
(08:39):
experience.
This is the essence ofconsciousness.
It's the canvas on which thepainting of your life is created
, the story of you, which bringsus to the power of stories.
Our brains are meaning-makingmachines.
It was evolutionarilyadvantageous for us to weave
(09:03):
narratives so that we couldunderstand the world through
stories and predict what mighthappen next.
It's one of the fundamentals ofhow our brain conceives things.
We are three-dimensional beingsthat experience time linearly.
All that is fancy jargon to say.
(09:24):
We experience reality and ourlife as a story that we are
currently living through, whichmeans the easiest way for us to
think about things is to createstories surrounding them.
We are wired for narrative.
It's how we make sense of thechaos of life and the world
(09:46):
around us.
It's how we make sense of thechaos of life and the world
around us.
It lets us focus and not takein every tiny detail that
doesn't necessarily help us inour situation and, especially
back in the day, the things thatdidn't help us survive.
We take these disparate eventsand string them together into a
coherent plot.
(10:07):
This is our personal narrative.
But here's the catch Ournarrative, our mind, isn't
always reliable.
It's biased by our pastexperiences, our fears, our
inherent cognitive biases, ourtendency towards logical
fallacies, our insecurities, ourbeliefs and the fact that our
(10:30):
brain can only take so muchinformation in at a time,
meaning that we never have thefull story.
Now that might sound kind ofintimidating and scary, like I'm
saying your brain sucks, itdoesn't.
It needs to function this way.
If it didn't, we wouldn't havesurvived.
We wouldn't survive today.
(10:50):
The information overload woulddrive us insane.
We can only really focus on orthink about one thing at a time.
All of the tiny calculations,subconsciously, that are
necessary for us to live ourlives, in addition to having a
(11:11):
certain degree of rational,logical thought, is beyond what
any current supercomputer cancompute.
Life, and especially humans,are incredible miracles of
existence, and especially humansare incredible miracles of
(11:32):
existence, and we are so luckyto be humans living in a world
with such a powerful amount ofabundance compared to what it
has been in the past.
These flaws in our brain'sability to see the world in a
truly objective way are why thestories that we tell ourselves
can easily get us stuck.
We start to believe thesestories as absolute truths.
(11:53):
I'm not good enough to startthat business.
Becomes a fact, not just athought.
I'll never find a lovingpartner.
Becomes a prophecy, not just afear.
We live our lives within theconfines of these self-created
stories, often without everquestioning their validity.
(12:14):
But what if you could becomethe editor of your own story by
understanding that you are theone experiencing your story,
your life, and that just becauseyour brain tells you stories
about your life and the worldthat you live in, it doesn't
make them true?
And by detaching ourselves fromour thoughts as our identities,
(12:38):
we create a whole nother levelof power and agency over our
lives.
Now I think it's important thatI give a little bit of shades of
gray here.
First, there's absolutely noreason to shame yourself for any
of the things that I just said.
These are just a part of who weare as human beings.
(13:00):
It's okay that we havecognitive biases they're
hardwired into us.
It's okay that some of thestories your brain is going to
tell you are not going to betrue In fact, a ton of them
especially because we areconstantly projecting stories
into the future as if they weretruth and many times they are so
(13:25):
loosely based in reality,because we are making a bunch of
assumptions and then judgments,and then labels, and then
further assumptions that we getso far off from what it is that
it barely resembles reality inthe first place.
We're all human.
This is normal.
Give yourself some grace andhave some compassion for
(13:47):
yourself and for the peoplearound you.
We're all just trying to liveour lives to the best of our
ability.
Our brains had to work this wayso that we could be around today
.
It's okay.
But having awareness of thishelps you control, for it helps
you take agency over your storyand, most importantly, it helps
(14:11):
you take control of yourperspective of reality.
By keeping an awareness thatour perspective of reality
shapes our experience of realityand therefore, the stories that
we tell ourselves about reality, we can control for these
(14:33):
biases.
We can catch ourselves withunhelpful thoughts, stories,
perspectives, and reshape andreframe to a much more helpful
and often a much more true story.
I also want to clarify it's okayto have a self-concept, to have
(14:54):
a self-image.
It is how our brains work.
It helps us piece all of theseextensions of ourselves mind,
body, emotions, thoughts, past,present, experiences—to our
consciousness, and ourself-image can be a very
powerful tool, but, like anytool, it can be constructive or
(15:16):
destructive.
So how do you become the editorof your own story?
How do you take a step back andsee these narratives for what
they are Mental constructs, notunchangeable realities?
Well, this is where the realwork of personal development
begins.
It's about cultivating theability to differentiate between
(15:39):
your true self, your consciousawareness, and the stories that
your mind tells you.
It's a skill, a practice, amuscle, and it happens to be the
primary driving force behindthe practice of mindfulness, of
paying attention to the presentmoment without judgment, or, as
(16:02):
our mindfulness expert, lauraSage, said it when she was on
this podcast curiosity andnon-judgment.
When a negative thought or alimiting belief arises, instead
of immediately identifying withit, you can simply acknowledge
it Ah, there's that, I'm notgood enough.
Story again.
By doing this, you create aspace between you and that
(16:27):
thought.
In that space lies your power.
It's a form of detachment.
You can choose whether or notto engage with that story,
because you understand that it'sjust a story that you're
telling yourself.
You can choose to believe it oryou can choose to let it go.
(16:49):
This brings to mind a powerfulquote from the renowned Swiss
psychiatrist and psychoanalyst,carl Jung Jung, who dedicated
his life to exploring the depthsof the human psyche, once said
I am not what happened to me, Iam what I choose to become.
I am not what happened to me, Iam what I choose to become.
(17:14):
Let that sink in.
I am not what happened to me.
I am what I choose to become.
This is the essence of whatwe're talking about today.
Now, yes, you might be thinkingI thought I'm the consciousness.
Yes, you are the consciousnessthat experienced everything that
happened to you, and you arealso the consciousness who can
make the conscious choice ofwhat you are going to choose to
(17:36):
become in your own life, in yourown personal narrative.
The events of your life, thewhat happened to you, are simply
just the raw material of yourstory.
The what happened to you aresimply just the raw material of
your story, and your brain, thismeaning-making machine, always
wants to attach judgments to it.
But using mindfulness, you, theconsciousness, have the power
(18:04):
to choose what you become, tochoose the meaning you assign to
those events by taking controlof your conscious perspective.
Now, I know this might allsound a bit abstract, but it's
actually backed by some prettyfascinating scientific research.
Neuroscientists are now able tosee how our brains construct
these narratives.
They call it the narrative self.
(18:24):
Studies in the field ofnarrative psychology by
researchers like Dan McAdamshave shown that the stories we
tell ourselves have a profoundimpact on our well-being.
For instance, research hasfound that people who are able
to find redemptive themes intheir life stories, meaning they
(18:45):
can see how difficultexperiences have led to growth
and positive outcomes, tend tohave higher levels of happiness
and life satisfaction.
This demonstrates that it's notjust the events of our lives
that matter, but how weinterpret and narrate them.
Furthermore, studies using fmrihave shown that when we engage
(19:07):
in self-reflection and thinkabout our personal stories,
specific networks in our brainlight up.
This suggests that our brainsare literally wired for this
kind of narrative construction.
But the exciting part is thatthese neural pathways are not
fixed Through practices likemindfulness and cognitive
(19:27):
reframing.
We actually rewire our brainsto tell more empowering stories,
and there's even a physicalprocess of the brain called
neuroplasticity.
That is a physical rewiring ofour brains.
So how can we start to applythis in our own life?
Here are a few practical steps.
(19:50):
Number one practice mindfulness.
Start by building the muscle ofmindfulness and simply
observing your thoughts withoutjudgment.
Be the awareness.
You can do this throughmeditation or just by taking a
few moments through your day tocheck in with your inner world,
(20:12):
by bringing your awareness tothe present moment and just
noticing things as they arise,the sounds you hear, the feeling
of your feet on the ground, thebeating of your heart.
By bringing yourself to thepresent moment, you get more in
tune with your consciousawareness and give yourself a
(20:33):
break from never-ending thoughts.
Number two question your stories.
When you notice a reoccurringnegative thought or belief or
story about someone else, askyourself is this story 100% true
?
What evidence do I have for itand against it?
(20:54):
What's a more empowering storyI could tell myself?
Is this story a shade of grayor is it just black and white?
And then, number three rewriteyour narrative Actively.
Choose to focus on differentstories of resilience, of growth
(21:16):
and of strength.
Acknowledge your challenges,but also celebrate your triumphs
.
You are the author of your lifestory.
You can write your own storyEmbracing the fact that you are
the consciousness thatexperiences your life's story.
You can write your own storyEmbracing the fact that you are
the consciousness thatexperiences your life and that
the stories you tell yourselfare just that.
(21:36):
Stories that you're tellingyourself is one of the most
liberating realizations you canhave.
It's a journey from being acharacter in this predetermined
play to becoming the author ofyour own life.
I hope this episode has sparkeda new perspective on who you
(21:56):
are and the incredible powerthat you hold to shape your
reality.
And remember you are enough andyou deserve to fill up your
inner cup with happiness,confidence and self-compassion.
(22:19):
Thank you for listening to theSage Solutions Podcast.
Your time is valuable and I'mso glad you choose to learn and
grow here with me.
We'd love to hear your feedback, so click the link in the
description and let us know whatyou think.
If you haven't already, don'tforget to subscribe so you don't
(22:39):
miss out on more sage advice.
One last thing the legallanguage.
This podcast is for educationaland informational purposes only
.
No coaching client relationshipis formed.
It is not intended as asubstitute for the personalized
(23:00):
advice of a physician,professional coach,
psychotherapist or otherqualified professional.
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