December 12, 2025 • 43 mins
Episode 9: Cyber Stalking, Sexual Fluidity & the New Male Landscape
In this episode, I address cyber safety through a true and deeply unsettling story from my own life—how a man who stalked me online through FetLife was arrested for murder just five months later. It’s a stark reminder of why vigilance, boundaries, and digital awareness are essential in today’s world.
I also explore how dating apps like Feeld are reshaping sexual identity and behavior, including the rise of terms like heteroflexible, bi-curious, and pansexual. More men than ever are openly exploring fluid attraction—and this cultural shift is dramatically impacting dating, relationships, and the sex work industry as a whole.
This episode blends real-world danger, cultural insight, and trend analysis from someone who keeps her finger firmly on the pulse.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The irony of this podcast is that my clients do call me
daddy. Hi everybody and welcome back to
my podcast. St. to Siren with Pamela, also
known professionally as the Violatrix.
And a couple of really fun updates.
(00:21):
I have a brand new website St. #2 siren.com.
As you know, the violatrix.com was in arguments, ongoing
struggles and arguments with Wix, the website hosting
platform, because they didn't agree with my content.
So I did a full rebrand and moved everything over to Square
(00:43):
at Saint to Siren, which is a much more friendly platform for
me and a clean rebrand. You guys still know what my
services are, what ioffer, You just kind of have to read
between the lines. But it's pretty clear.
I've broken it down into bookingconsults for men and booking
mentorship appointments for women.
And if you have any questions, theviolatrix.com is still up and
(01:05):
live, but just reach out to me on socials or
admin@st#2siren.com. I want to start out this
podcast, episode 9, by saying toyou, thank you from the bottom
of my heart for the two Spotify awards that were bestowed upon
me so graciously. I am so humbled and truly
(01:27):
gracious because without you, the listeners, the followers, my
supporters, my team, my people, my girls, I wouldn't be able to
do what I do. I wouldn't be able to deliver.
There would be no point in delivering this because
everything I'm doing is for my platform, Women Helping Women to
succeed, to win. So it's all of you that are the
(01:48):
gears that are turning this machine and without you, it
stops turning. So Spotify bestowed me with
Marathon Show Award, which meanspeople, listeners and followers
streamed or downloaded several episodes in one day.
And then they bestowed me with Breakout hit show of 2025 for
(02:10):
the numbers. I guess that the podcast was
doing. So again, a heartfelt thank you.
I'm super excited. I'm more motivated than ever to
bring you more juicy stories andthe data that you need.
And I'm super stoked for what we're all going to do together
in 2026. And again, thanks to the
comments and questions that you are leaving for me under my
(02:31):
Spotify podcast. It's directly there.
So as I curate these episodes, I'm able to pull from the data,
extrapolate exactly what you arelooking for, what you need, and
hopefully I'm delivering it. So please keep those comments
going. And that's what fuels future
episodes. So again, a heartfelt thank you
so much. One other quick note, I did
(02:55):
change my TikTok from Saint to Siren back to at Trending
Plastics. TikTok is not a platform for
adult content, which is the whole reason why I moved all of
my content to Spotify and Apple to the podcast.
So I had a freedom of speech level medium to deliver you the
(03:15):
information that you need without censorship.
TikTok was not friendly with it and my views and my reach have
been grossly suppressed or as people like to say shadow band.
But it got to the point where I was getting like 3 views or they
weren't even putting it out. They would literally tell me
we're not putting this out on the FYP at all.
So I'm back to trending plastics.
We'll still have our lives over there in conversations and
(03:38):
things about plastic surgery, relationships and everything in
between and fin doming as I can.But my primary platforms will
now be Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Apple, the podcast and
my website of course. OK last episode someone had
asked me and I apologize. I I want to say it was creatrix,
(03:59):
but I'm not totally sure, had asked me to to touch on the
dangers of online sex work, the dangers of being an OF only fans
girl, a Cam girl, a phone sex operator.
And what are the real life IRL in real life dangers?
And what are the cyber and Internet dangers that lurk in
(04:22):
the shadows. And I have a story that I think
will drive home exactly what you're looking for and be a very
cautionary tale to any of you that are considering doing this
work or currently do this work. So this story, we're going to go
back to the winter thaw going into the spring of 2020.
(04:47):
So during that time period in 2020, my husband's company had
gone public on the Hang Seng, not the NASDAQ, not the New York
Stock Exchange, but the Chinese Stock Exchange called the Hang
Seng. And we were shifting around
money and all these things. And my husband typically likes
me to live on plastic on a credit card and then just push
(05:07):
it, push the bills through the bank account.
And, and for whatever reason, hedoes this.
I have no idea. I could explain to you why, but
certain years into marriage, youdon't ask the questions.
You just do what makes it easiest, the path of least
resistance to get along. But in this particular time
period, I was needing tips for the gardeners, the the lawn
mowers, the pooper scooper people, the pool guy, the
(05:30):
cleaning people. And I was like, I can't tip them
in plastic. I need more cash.
And he was busy. And he just flipped his head
around at me. And this is very
uncharacteristic. And he was like, you want more
cash, you want more cash, go back to night flirt.
And I was like, what? I was like, OK, you got it,
mother fucker. And just to spite him, I did.
(05:50):
I hadn't been on Night Flirt in years.
I floated in and out of night Flirt since 2008, depending on
whether I was pregnant and whether I was nursing, having
babies or at one point I had a miscarriage.
So if I was heavy or pregnant, Ididn't want to be on Cam and I
would take years off because I don't present myself on Cam if
I'm not the product that I advertise myself to be.
(06:12):
And I never wanted to be tagged or known for being like the
lactating pregnant woman, which I'm not going to tell you I
didn't sell some lactating videos.
But the bottom line is I kept everything on brand and there
were several years that I didn'twork.
So I go back into night flirt. And the irony of this is that
what he was saying is laying kind of a Dick move and a
(06:33):
punishment to me. Go back on night flirt.
My clients were all still in my portal.
They were not only there, they were super excited to see me and
I was like, wait, what is this? So neither were they there and
excited to see me, but they wereready to spend.
They wanted to catch up. They wanted to tell me what
they've been up to. They wanted to hear what I've
been up to and then I was getting a whole new host of like
(06:55):
younger guys and I was like what?
What I failed to realize is I, and I can't speak to all
fetishes and niches, but at least in my particular lane of
fandom, the clients, the men liked it that you, that I was
older, more mature, and more seasoned.
They wanted to be dominated by an older woman.
(07:16):
So I was like, I this just turned everything I thought I
knew on its head. I, this was so upside down for
me, but boy oh boy, was I thrilled to indulge in it.
So there they were. They were all sitting in queue.
So I go back and now remember itis my first and foremost job and
responsibility to keep my fingeron the pulse of what is
(07:37):
happening in the sex industry. Not just popular culture, but
trends, Pornhub trends, trends in all sex worker industry.
Whether you're an escort, full service high level escort,
you're kind of like a street Walker.
You're an only fan girl, you're a chat chatterbait girl, you're
(07:58):
Cam girl or PSO Cam or face Cam with face or no Cam, just phone.
It doesn't matter. It is my job and duty to
understand what is happening. And at that time during like
January, February of 2020, againgoing into March, April, May,
(08:19):
Fetlife, which has always been the OG of the fetish BDSM
community. Fetlife has always been the the
1st place people go when they were looking for fetish related
kinks, relationships, communities.
(08:39):
That was where people went especially before any of these
fetish dating outs were born. So everybody's telling me that
they're using Fetlife. Everyone is telling me.
So I begrudgingly went on to Fetlife and created a profile.
I had created profiles previously on Fetlife and I was
horrified by the messages and the things that I had seen.
So I did not enjoy using the site, so I begrudgingly did it
(09:00):
because it just kept coming up over and over again with my
clients with whom I was reconnecting.
So I go on and I create the profile for the violatrix.
And immediately when you're a New Girl on that site, the the
site users just flock to you. It's like, oh, you know, fresh
New Girl, fresh meat. And they just descend upon you
(09:20):
in droves. And that's only when you're just
brand new because they all want to crack at the New Girl.
So of course, I'm always lookingfor a client.
I had to make my presence known there.
So I'm building my profile. I'm getting blown up with, you
know, instant messages. So there's always typically
whenever you go, whether it's ona dating site or wherever you
are, whatever platform, and you're known as a dominatrix or
(09:42):
a thin Dom, there's always that one daddy master Dom bull, some
asshole who is like, and, and they're not always an asshole,
but typically they're an asshole.
They want to Dom the Dom they get off whatever drives them.
And being a Dom, then a daddy Dom, it, it goes right to the
core of their being to inflate their ego to be the guy that can
(10:07):
dominate the Dom and crack her. Because everybody well knows
that a dominatrix, a fin Dom, she's at the top of the food
chain. She's constantly dominating
everyone. So when you can infiltrate her
and you can manipulate her with words or with texts and you can
crack into that, you can crack that code.
(10:27):
You can often times dominate a Dom and, and often times many of
us are submissive in our personal lives, are submissive
to bulls or submissive to alpha daddy Doms.
So there's always that guy looking for that, that crack in
the foundation for a Dom. And one particular guy worked
his way into my DMS and I was really kind of blowing him off
(10:49):
at first. Like I was nice and cordial.
And then I was like really kind of blowing him off.
And he was persistent, but not completely like crazy
persistent. So we end up having a chat over
a period of I want to say it was3 to 5 days.
As a matter of fact, I actually remember where I was in my
(11:12):
bedroom and my bathroom walking around having these
conversations with him. Now when I say conversations,
they were strictly through the app and he was cute, he was
flirtatious, but he was definitely dominant.
So about 3 days into this, theselittle conversations because
(11:33):
again, remember I am there to talk to the people using the app
and get my finger, keep my finger on the pulse of the
industry. What are the trends?
What are the sites people are using?
And this is the first thing thatany of you should do if you've
been out of the industry for a while.
You don't just dive in. You have to do your due
diligence and find out what are the apps people are using, What
are the, the new buzzwords, trigger words, What are they
(11:56):
like? You know, there's this app field
Feld that I stumbled upon recently and it's like the now
it's the granddaddy of all fetish dating sites, at least
from what I can see. But there's a word on there
called heteroflexible. So a bunch of guys.
I always have a presence on a dating app for at least a month
or two. It helps with reach and
frequency and also satisfies my curiosity.
(12:17):
And I'll upgrade a subscription.Changed my zip code to Austria.
You know, Denmark, I'm going to Ireland, I'm going to Portugal,
I'm going to Brazil. I'm going all over the world.
Of course, New York City and major cities.
But I'm talking to men, seeing what they're using, what apps
and that sort of thing. This is why my knowledge is so
vast and I enjoy it. My intellectual curiosity and
(12:40):
also my kink and fetish curiosity surpasses all.
I should probably put in a legaldisclaimer right now that I'm
going to talk about Fetlife and I don't want to get it caught up
in any sort of legal situation, but this is particularly
specific this story to Fetlife. OK, so after a few days of
(13:05):
talking to this guy, I said OK, this has been fun but I'm a
dominatrix and I'm here for business.
He didn't like that and he wasn't accepting it and he
wanted to Cam and he wants to meet in person and now he was
getting very, very pushy with meand now I was getting I was
giving pushback and I was getting rude.
He didn't like that at all. So as I'm pushing back harder,
(13:30):
he's getting more angry and you could just see the anger
building in him. And when I log in the next day,
I see all these messages from him and he says, I figured out
who you are, I know your name, Iknow where you live.
And I was like, like, why the fuck would you do that?
(13:51):
And what are you trying to provehere?
Like I'm not ever meeting you, I'm whatever.
So I foolishly called his bluff and said I don't believe you.
And he ends up sending me screenshots back somehow, based
on whatever data I had given him, he had in fact figured out
(14:13):
who I was. And now he was sending me
information. And then he says to me, I know
you're a mother. I know you have kids.
This has never happened to me before.
When I tell you the clients on Night Flirt are the sweetest,
kindest, the worst thing that ever happened to me on Night
Flirt is you would do really well and on a day, a week or a
month and some girl would. Some other flirt would have her
(14:34):
boyfriend troll you, call you for 60 seconds, pay the 399, and
then just slam you with negativefeedback all over your profile
to bring your numbers down. That's about the worst thing
that ever happened. And that used to happen quite a
bit back in the day. I am no victim to this now
because my price is so high. They wouldn't attempt it.
(14:56):
I think. I really don't know, but that
was like the worst thing that I ever had happened.
Every now and then you get a creepy client who you can tell
he's not fully there and you just kind of either make the
call, not worth his while, or you block him afterwards and
then you're done with it. But I never had problems with my
clients. You know, I've got this guy with
my personal information, my address.
(15:18):
He's found all sorts of data on me, probably doing one of those
Zomba searches or something, or free people or whatever.
But he had the dad, he had my address, and he knew that I had
children. And he starts threatening me to
an extent that was extremely disconcerting.
I block him, I report him. He had at this point given me
(15:41):
his name and sure enough if the steel trap memory that I have.
And he made an indelible mark inmy memory as far as fear and
safety. And what a what a close call.
And I should have been more careful.
And it was a really good rude awakening as I re entered this
arena, you know, after a long hiatus, after a long period of
(16:04):
time. It was a really good slap of
reality because we need those every now and then to keep us on
the straight and narrow. And that's what happened.
And now I'm going to read you something that popped up.
I want to say it was probably like Yahoo news or some social
media. I caught it out of the corner of
my eye and I did like a double take.
(16:28):
And then I zoomed in and what I read was the following XX.
I'm not going to say the woman'sname.
A 32 year old single mother was murdered by XX on August 16th,
2020 after they met on an onlinedating app.
The crime gained significant attention because the
(16:48):
perpetrators attempt to hide thebody by burning.
It was believed to have ignited a massive fire which eventually
turned into a bigger fire. They had met in a public place
and she had been last seen arriving in California on August
16th, 2020 in her car. Her family filed a missing
(17:10):
persons report after two days and her abandoned car was found
two days later, again in California.
So when I tell you that it was the guy's name, I, I like, I
couldn't believe it. I, I, I couldn't believe it.
But then part of me was like, yes, this is exactly what was
(17:32):
going through my head when he was saying these things to me.
From the fact that I have a verystrong memory, the average
person wouldn't remember that I also happen to remember,
remember specific dates and timeperiods and things going on in
the world at exact times. So I was able to put this
together. I probably stumbled upon this
about a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago.
(17:55):
So this is the cautionary tale of why you don't engage with
strangers on apps. Why?
If you're using dating apps, youdownload Google Voice number,
you never use your last name. You use a burner phone number or
a Google Voice number. You use a burner e-mail.
The bottom line here is you cannot be too careful.
(18:17):
And you And if you've watched any of my Tik Toks, which those
are still up on online dating safety or my YouTube videos, you
know that I say you should have a Google Voice number, you
should have a burner e-mail address.
And those are the things that you use when you're engaging
with someone on a dating app, all the communication right up
(18:39):
and through until you start dating exclusively.
And seriously, you should keep stay in app.
Don't let them take you off app.Don't give out your socials.
So you can't be careful enough. You cannot be too careful.
And the Internet has become the Wild West of crimes and crime
scenes. And it's just made things so
much easier for people to get away with things and your
(19:01):
information and yourself. You're a currency and people
will want it. So you keep all your currency
locked away in a safe and you take appropriate measures and
you cannot be careful enough. And just remember, these dating
sites are not vetting backgroundchecks.
They're not vetting criminal records.
So anybody can say that there anybody on the Internet and, and
(19:24):
a lot of you, a lot of women arestill falling for this and will
continue to fall for this and become victims to the predators.
I, I've said it before and I will say it again, dating apps,
fetish apps are a breeding ground for predators because the
fastest way to commit a crime onsomeone, whatever that crime is,
(19:46):
whether you, they want your money, they want to sexually
assault you, they want to murderyou and take your house, your
car, whatever it is. The easiest way to do that is
through the heart, through emotions.
And dating apps and fetish apps are dealing with lust, emotions,
love. People that are hungry, needy,
and those are the most easy people to prey upon.
(20:08):
And I want you to remember that.As far as other stories, I in in
one of my earlier episodes of the podcast, I talked about the
whole reason why I'm here in front of you now.
I had been friends with someone here in Vegas who I was doing my
phone calls from his apartment and he was recording me without
my knowledge and then later tried to extort me.
(20:29):
And when the restraining order Iwon the case against him, he was
arrested. The DA actually filed the case.
It wasn't me against him, it wasthe DA against him.
And I did win the case. The restraining order just
lifted last month in November. The restraining order was in
place one year after the court win that found him guilty.
And I have not, thank God, heardfrom him.
(20:50):
But here was somebody that I loved and trusted that turned on
me. So when I tell you that it's not
just the predatory strangers outthere lurking, you know, behind
the shadows, behind, you know, adesktop computer or behind a
phone. Oftentimes, just like with, you
know, crimes against children, it's, oh, it's always someone
(21:13):
that's close to the family who knew how to get to the child and
knew the family schedule and that sort of thing.
Often when you deal with these situations that we would find
dangerous, it's often the peopleclosest to you that are going to
compromise your safety. And I've talked about the story
with my restraining order and the guy that outed me and how
(21:36):
I'm here in front of you becauseI decided to control the
narrative and begin outing myself little by little before
he maybe, you know, gets an offshore server and puts up one
of those videos, quote, anonymously that he recorded.
And I'm just waiting for the dayfor that to happen.
But you must be super careful. And just remember it's the
(21:57):
people that the women usually are, the men.
In this case, it was a man that you tell about your phone sex OF
Cam girl exploits, experiences, secrets, clients.
It's going to be the people closest to you that are going to
expose you more often than not. Just remember that you heard it
here first. You know, my whole thing is
(22:17):
always helping single moms and single moms, like I can't make
ends meet. My husband's not paying me the
alimony, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, I have a job
for you. You should do what I do.
I work on the phone and I taughther everything.
I went over to her house, I trained her.
She created her own listing and then at some point she must have
decided it wasn't for her. She turned around, deleted her
listing, told all the other momsthat I was a dirty sex worker
(22:39):
and phone sex and I was an escort and fucked clients and
this that and the other. And next thing I know, my
daughter wasn't getting invited to any parties, sleepovers, play
dates. So you can't be too careful and
just don't tell anyone. I'm at a place in my career
where I make it my business to tell people because again, that
was a part of the narrative of me taking back my power from the
(23:00):
person who was trying to steal it.
So that is the extent of my stalking situation, my obviously
very worst situation that I everhad.
And there's other little things like for example, when I had
gone back into Night Flirt and began connecting with some of my
clients, many of them had actually saved my old videos.
(23:27):
And I don't mean to save them like chronicled them and we're
using them. I used to make these epic videos
in the in the 2000s. I put a lot of work into them
and one, one guy sent me the videos.
I could have died in that Y2K frosty lipstick, no eyebrows, my
big nose kind of aesthetic. I was so horrified.
(23:50):
One of them I had like stilettosand cowboy and a cowboy hat on.
I was like yippee Ki a Oh my God, it was such a mess.
But anyway, not only was I horrified, I was like, Oh my
God, I didn't expect my stuff tolive on.
But the other thing that's important is thousands, 10s of
thousands of clients over 20 years and not one of my clients
had ever leaked my shit to the Internet.
(24:11):
Not one of them. There are photos that some guys
had put on like screenshots and things some guys had put on some
like Reddit subreddit forums maybe, and if you like I will
tell you where to find those if you want to see.
Old frosty lipstick, big nose, no eyebrow me.
Here you go guys. I swear to you, I wasn't trying
(24:34):
to catfish you, but I just went to get you the link of all of
these old pictures of me someonehad posted.
I found them not more than four or five months ago even even
sent them to my kids, and now I cannot find them.
So if you're up for the challenge, here's what you can
Google to find my old pics. God forbid.
(24:56):
My old name on Night Flirt was Adriana.
That was my very first name, a DRIANNAA, and that was my first
name and then later it was the Violatrix.
At different points on Night Flirt, we were all changing our
names early on when we were trying to establish our brands.
So the names that I went under were Adriana, ADRIANNAA, because
(25:23):
I at the time they went in alphabetical order with ranking.
So of course started with an A, ended with a lot of As, and then
after that there was a deluge. There was just a flood of women
that came in with that name. So I changed it to Tuesday
Taylor, like Tuesday is in Monday, Tuesday and then Taylor,
Taylor and then eventually my husband made-up the violatrix,
(25:48):
which I don't even like, but it was so everybody else loved it
and it was so different. I used it and I'm still using
it. But there you go.
There's the challenge for anybody that wants to find my
old pics and you'll know me immediately you'll because at
least my facial grid is still the same if the rest of it has
been completely reorganized and facially balanced.
(26:10):
I did facial balancing. My nose was too big, my chin was
too big, so I got everything balanced.
So this this is pretty facial balancing.
So if you find it, God forbid, don't even tell me in the no.
Tell me in the comments if you find it.
And if you find anything really raunchy, I apologize now.
And that brings us to a close onthe cyber stalking danger piece
(26:31):
of this episode. I should also mention that if if
you're using, no matter what platform you're using,
especially if you're using nightFlare, if a client ever sends
you a link to a porn they want enacted, they want to talk about
whatever the link is and it's toporn, never click it.
Do not ever trust a link. Tell them to send you a screen
(26:53):
recording that's very clearly a screen recording, or they can
tell you how to Google it, but never open a link, period.
The end. And this is really important
because customers often do send links.
I just found it. It was in fact, the creatrix who
had asked me this question abouthow to stay safe in cyber
(27:14):
doming, cyber stalking. She also asks me what sites are
safe to use. So I'm first and foremost going
to save my own site, Night Flirt.
But again, because I mention it all the time, it's getting a
flood of women. And unfortunately it's not
getting a flood of new clients. So we're all scraping for
business and things are down because there's too many girls
and not enough clients. So that's Night Flirt.
(27:36):
Also, Night Flirt doesn't work for a lot of people.
It works great for me because I've been on it, you know, for
20 years, but some of the sites that I've worked on over the
years and I'm currently on Let'sgo triple X Cam babes.
I used to make equally if not more money on Triple X Cam
babes. I I'm not on there any longer
(27:57):
but that was one of them clips for sale and all of the clips
sites are fantastic for making money.
I am a moron with those sites. I don't know how to work them.
I've tried endlessly over the years and I'm not on any of
those. But they are phenomenal sites,
especially if you have a niche like feet, like lactating
(28:20):
pregnant woman just because we were just talking about it.
Or if you, I have one girl who'sa coaching student who's a witch
in New England, that's her thing.
She's a witch. Or another girl who's like a
hypnosis expert. And you have to be careful
because hypnosis is not acceptable on many sites.
It's not acceptable on night flare anymore.
It's a violation of TOS terms ofservice.
(28:41):
So the clip sites are especiallypowerful and great revenue
generators for women with niches.
Only fans is always going to be great, but you have to remember
only fans only works if you are on a site and you are popular
and you can drive traffic to OFOF itself does not advertise
(29:02):
you. So you have to understand what's
a platform and what's an app or well, there's no adult app, but
what's a platform? And then what's the aggregator
that's going to drive? You know, is it, is it
Instagram? Are you on a porn site?
You know, where are you popular on TikTok?
You need an aggregator that's going to pull draw in clients
(29:24):
and followers and then you funnel them, you direct them to
your paywall platform. That's how that works.
So again, here's the popular sites.
Sexed Panther. Sexed Panther is the one that my
clients tell me they all they'veall moved to.
They turned me down. Literally told me that I was
(29:45):
unethical for applying with themafter being so popular on Night
Flirt. Can you imagine the rock bottom
I had? The rock bottom moment I had
when a dirty adult website told me that I was unethical and
immoral for trying to join theirsite.
It's just, it's crazy. Sexy Jobs is a site that I keep
a profile on because 98% of the time you get scammy stuff, but
(30:09):
every now and then you get one job offer or one new site that
rolls out. That's interesting.
So I always keep an active profile on Sexy Jobs and I'm
always scrolling the job boards to see the new sites that are
being rolled out. So what a fin message, FIN
MESSAGE Finn message is 1, but you got to really understand how
(30:31):
to work that site and you have to be extremely active or you'll
make no money at all. There's Finn Doms or I love Finn
Dom. There's all sorts of ones like
that. I'm, I'm on all of those, but I
don't really get any business from them.
Twitter is just a waste of time.Again, Twitter is an aggregator.
It's not a platform for clients.It's an aggregator to drive
(30:51):
traffic. But I don't really use it at
all. And they just banned my someone
hacked my Twitter account and posted something I don't even
know what they posted. And my Twitter is now suspended
indefinitely. So I have a new one, which is
Saint to Siren on Twitter. And then the other site that I
was going to mention to you is Chatterbait.
(31:13):
I not only hear that Chatterbaitis amazing for women, but a lot
of the men that I know in the industry are using Chatterbait.
But they're you're live streaming and you're gaining an
audience type of thing. So that's Chatterbait and all
you have to do is Google and what you want to do.
And this is for the women following me, you know, my
students, coaching students, my mentorship students.
(31:36):
When you get all ready, if you're doing Cam or you're just
doing phone and you log into your computer, log into your
platform to accept calls. You want to have 4 to 5 windows
open on your desktop computer oryour laptop with all the
different platforms that you're on.
You're not going to make any money.
(31:57):
You will not make money if you are sitting like a sitting duck
on one platform waiting for the phone to ring.
You have to be on four to five different platforms, have all
the windows up and open and you're just juggling back and
forth. You're, you're creating traffic,
you're talking, you're chatting and you're constantly updating
your photos or your audio files or your videos or whatever your
(32:20):
content is, you're updating it and you are just plastering it
on those sites. There's a very, very small
memory span of the average adultporn user is very short, very
small. So you have to constantly be
updating your content and and splashing it everywhere and make
(32:41):
sure it's good. Don't put out subpar content.
It's, it's your content is your storefront.
And just remember that. Take it seriously, you know,
take a day, a couple days a week, weekend, whatever it is
per month and dedicate it to your content.
I do have some exciting stuff coming up.
I had put an ad on Craigslist asking for oh, you guys love the
(33:03):
story. I put an ad on Craigslist asking
for guests on my podcast. I wanted adult sex workers,
female. Of course.
I got every guy that's in like those dirty strip shows or dirty
mic down under. I don't remember what it's
called, but I got every guy under the sun who's doing those
(33:24):
shows asked if I if they could be a guest on my podcast.
I was like, no. And then I had two really good
fandom sex workers, full serviceescorts that wanted to do the
show and I was like, great. I wrote to each of them
separately and I said, I will, let's meet for coffee or
cocktails. You choose my treat and these
(33:45):
were women that had been in the industry a long time and they
had something very valuable to bring to my podcast.
So and that's the thing IA lot of women and especially if my
students want to be guests, but I can't have someone who hasn't
been doing this a long time. I need someone to come on who's
going to teach me something. So the banter back and forth,
you guys will learn something from it.
(34:05):
So the first girl, I said to her, OK, what's a good day of
the week? What time, blah, blah, blah.
We get the whole thing ironed out.
And the last thing she said saysto me, the last thing she says
to me is, oh, you have to come pick me up.
I don't have a car. And I'm like, oh, my God.
So I kind of just was like, all right, I have to fly back East.
I'll let you know. I'll be in touch.
The next girl says the same thing to me, But she says it in
(34:29):
a way that's like, by the way, Ilive in like, a sketchy area.
So I let both conversations lapse.
And I don't think much about it.I'm really busy.
And I'm like, well, that's what you get for putting an ad on
Craigslist. The one girl reaches out to me
on Instagram and she's like, you're a fucking bitch.
(34:49):
And I was like, I'm sorry, what?And this is in Adm and she says
you're a fucking bitch. You said I could do your show,
blah, blah, blah. You promised me all these things
I said in the effort of transparency.
Let me let me give this to you clearly because I had just had
it at this point, I couldn't find anybody.
I was going through all of theseemails and I said to her, I
(35:11):
offered you free exposure on my podcast.
You could plug your services, you could promote and broadcast
yourself all you wanted to your hearts desire.
I offered you free drinks or cocktails and I was extremely
accommodating the schedule. But the one thing I am not going
to do in my very expensive car, the competition series European
(35:35):
M2 BMW into the hood to pick up a full service sex worker whom I
do not know, that is where I draw the line.
I had to fucking say this to her.
And right after I said it, I blocked her because I thought I
don't even want to hear what she's going to say to that.
And I realized that sounds egregious and and arrogant and
asshole ish of me. But it was the truth.
(35:56):
And the one thing you're always going to get from me is the
truth. So don't ever ask me a question
if you're not prepared to hear atruthful answer.
I probably repel more people than I attract with this
quality, but it's how I live my life and it's the truth.
So if you guys think I'm a Dick head for not picking up the sex
worker, let me know in the comments as well.
That should pretty much wrap up everything that I had for
(36:17):
episode 9 except for I am super intrigued by this dating app
field Feld. I don't even know how to
pronounce it. F EE LD it's like and apparently
it's been around for like 4 or five years.
I only heard about it a couple of months ago from a Dom and
it's like hinge, but it's hinge unhinged because although you
(36:41):
can't put videos up and it's very glitchy.
This site it's got a lot of privacy.
No one is up your ass, but the words that you're using.
You can put your socials in it as long as you're not, you know,
catfishing and trying to draw strictly business.
But it's very liberating this site.
But the thing that fucking threwme is not only now do we have
pansexual and we have ethically non monogamous ENM.
(37:06):
Basically, I'm married and I'm cheating or I'm married and
we're both kind of worn out, whatever.
So you got the ENM, you've got the you've got the sapiosexuals.
People like smart people, you'vegot the Demi sexuals, you've got
gyno sexual. I don't even know what that is.
I somebody tell me what's a gynosexual?
And then you've got the buy the buy curious, the buy flexible.
(37:27):
But now we have hetero flexible.And I want to end this podcast
on telling you ladies, I've saidit before and I'm going to say
it again. And I know you hear women on
TikTok saying this all the time and you hear gay men on TikTok
saying this all the time. I was with just with your
husband. If you think your husband isn't,
he is. I am here to tell you that it
would appear that there has beena tipping point in the industry
(37:50):
and I'm not exactly certain whatit is in society, but men are
now out and proud and free. I can't tell you the amount of
good looking men, doctors, lawyers and corporate guys, Wall
Street guys that right there on their profile, heteroflexible by
by curious, like they're just out and proud.
Like they don't care if people aren't even hiding it anymore.
(38:12):
And I don't know what the tipping point was in our
industry or in society that kindof changed this.
But you four or five years ago, you would have never seen this.
And now you have these guys thatare basically saying trans, drop
your pants. You got all parts of women and
men bring it on, bend over, stripped out.
Like I can't believe the liberation that's happening.
(38:35):
But my point is, I've always said that you'd be shocked to
know who my clients actually arethat want to want me to force
them to their knees and force byon them and force them to BBC
and all of these things. You cannot believe because my
clients are older. You know, my clients are fifty
6070, most of them many of them,but you're talking about 35 to
(39:00):
4550 year old men that are now full face out on these sites.
No, not hiding behind any barrier like I can't believe it.
But my, my ultimate point is if you think you're a man does not
sit high on the Kinsey scale. You guys know what the Kinsey
scale is. You know how the autism is like
(39:22):
a spectrum. You've got everything from ADHD
all the way up to non verbal autistic like Rain Man and my
family, my, my all my family's is basically just below Rain Man
in the genius Asperger category.And then there's me on ADHD.
But you have the Kinsey scale, which is akin to the Asperger
the, the autism. I'm sorry, the autism spectrum
(39:43):
disorder spectrum, the Kinsey scale is just nobody is 100% not
gay. So you have like a little bit
gay all the way up to extremely gay.
And I'm telling you now, your husband, your boyfriend sits on
that scale. We all do.
You just got to figure out what shade he is.
Look it up Google. And I'm telling you.
(40:04):
And to further this point, I called around to a few people
that I know from gay men to, youknow, bisexual men to trans
women. And all reports are coming back
that most men, if not, have pursued it, including famous
(40:24):
men. You can Google the headlines.
I'm not going to call out one ofmy most favorite actors of all
time got called out for it. But not just most, not just
famous men, but most men if not all are curious, searching,
would like to experience it onceor have.
Don't go hard at your man about this, but but do be aware that
(40:48):
it's more common than not. And what I'm seeing, the
floodgates have just broken. The floodgates have just begun
to burst with what we're about to see.
I mean, we think it's hard enough as women to try to find
boyfriends and husbands now. And, and I often think to
myself, when these guys are on these dating apps and they have
open relationship ENM, I'm like,who's your asshole girlfriend or
(41:11):
wife that's allowing this? And now I've completely changed
from that idea, which is maybe these girls aren't the assholes
in letting their husbands play around and do their thing.
Maybe these girls are the evolved version of the rest of
us who are saying we're going todo it one way or another.
We are animals at our core, right?
(41:31):
We're just evolved animals and they're going to be curious.
They're going to do this. I'm going to get the upper hand
by telling him he has the freedom to do it.
I don't know. Let me know in the comments who
you think is right in this situation.
Would you be open to your man doing this?
Do you date men who have done this or talk about it?
Do you let them engage in fantasy play about this?
This is where my intellectual kink and fetish and domination
(41:58):
submission lifestyle curiosity kills the cat.
This is where I deep. I am so utterly fascinated by
what makes people tick, straight, gay, by whatever it is
I want to understand. My hairdresser just showed me
the Instagram of a woman that's been that's been coming to her
(42:20):
recently for hair extensions andshe said, look at her Instagram.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's beautiful.
She's 26. She just had like full
everything done, even a a voice change.
And then she swipes and shows methe girl's picture.
Previously she was a man and shewas so fucking hot.
Like I'm crushing on this picture, like the six pack, the
(42:43):
the pecs, dark skin. I was like, she's Viviana
something I don't know. I'm following her on Instagram.
You can see, but she's so fucking beautiful.
But she was hot as a man and it gave me pause.
I was like, wait. And now that you see this
beautiful woman who looked like that as a man but may or may not
still have a penis, like it's soconfusing.
(43:04):
I don't know. Let me know your thoughts in the
comments and if you'd like more on this topic, because this is
really what I want to deep dive.And what I was going to say when
I interrupted myself was that now I'm looking I'm talking to
guests to bring on who are goingto deep dive these topics as
well if as as well as give T andgossip about what's going on in
major cities. So that's kind of where I'm
(43:26):
going to take my first guest situation, which hopefully will
be the next episode. Thank you for tuning in.
I love all your comments and feedback.
And let me know what you want for next episode aside from
guests, because I'm working on that.
Merry Christmas. Happy holidays and an amazing
new year for all of you, all of us together.
(43:46):
I love my team, I love my family.
Thank you for being here. See you next time, Episode 10.
The irony of this podcast is that my clients do call me
daddy. Hi everybody and welcome back to
my podcast. St. to Siren with Pamela, also
known professionally as the Violatrix.
And a couple of really fun updates.
(00:21):
I have a brand new website St. #2 siren.com.
As you know, the violatrix.com was in arguments, ongoing
struggles and arguments with Wix, the website hosting
platform, because they didn't agree with my content.
So I did a full rebrand and moved everything over to Square
(00:43):
at Saint to Siren, which is a much more friendly platform for
me and a clean rebrand. You guys still know what my
services are, what ioffer, You just kind of have to read
between the lines. But it's pretty clear.
I've broken it down into bookingconsults for men and booking
mentorship appointments for women.
And if you have any questions, theviolatrix.com is still up and
(01:05):
live, but just reach out to me on socials or
admin@st#2siren.com. I want to start out this
podcast, episode 9, by saying toyou, thank you from the bottom
of my heart for the two Spotify awards that were bestowed upon
me so graciously. I am so humbled and truly
(01:27):
gracious because without you, the listeners, the followers, my
supporters, my team, my people, my girls, I wouldn't be able to
do what I do. I wouldn't be able to deliver.
There would be no point in delivering this because
everything I'm doing is for my platform, Women Helping Women to
succeed, to win. So it's all of you that are the
(01:48):
gears that are turning this machine and without you, it
stops turning. So Spotify bestowed me with
Marathon Show Award, which meanspeople, listeners and followers
streamed or downloaded several episodes in one day.
And then they bestowed me with Breakout hit show of 2025 for
(02:10):
the numbers. I guess that the podcast was
doing. So again, a heartfelt thank you.
I'm super excited. I'm more motivated than ever to
bring you more juicy stories andthe data that you need.
And I'm super stoked for what we're all going to do together
in 2026. And again, thanks to the
comments and questions that you are leaving for me under my
(02:31):
Spotify podcast. It's directly there.
So as I curate these episodes, I'm able to pull from the data,
extrapolate exactly what you arelooking for, what you need, and
hopefully I'm delivering it. So please keep those comments
going. And that's what fuels future
episodes. So again, a heartfelt thank you
so much. One other quick note, I did
(02:55):
change my TikTok from Saint to Siren back to at Trending
Plastics. TikTok is not a platform for
adult content, which is the whole reason why I moved all of
my content to Spotify and Apple to the podcast.
So I had a freedom of speech level medium to deliver you the
(03:15):
information that you need without censorship.
TikTok was not friendly with it and my views and my reach have
been grossly suppressed or as people like to say shadow band.
But it got to the point where I was getting like 3 views or they
weren't even putting it out. They would literally tell me
we're not putting this out on the FYP at all.
So I'm back to trending plastics.
We'll still have our lives over there in conversations and
(03:38):
things about plastic surgery, relationships and everything in
between and fin doming as I can.But my primary platforms will
now be Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Apple, the podcast and
my website of course. OK last episode someone had
asked me and I apologize. I I want to say it was creatrix,
(03:59):
but I'm not totally sure, had asked me to to touch on the
dangers of online sex work, the dangers of being an OF only fans
girl, a Cam girl, a phone sex operator.
And what are the real life IRL in real life dangers?
And what are the cyber and Internet dangers that lurk in
(04:22):
the shadows. And I have a story that I think
will drive home exactly what you're looking for and be a very
cautionary tale to any of you that are considering doing this
work or currently do this work. So this story, we're going to go
back to the winter thaw going into the spring of 2020.
(04:47):
So during that time period in 2020, my husband's company had
gone public on the Hang Seng, not the NASDAQ, not the New York
Stock Exchange, but the Chinese Stock Exchange called the Hang
Seng. And we were shifting around
money and all these things. And my husband typically likes
me to live on plastic on a credit card and then just push
(05:07):
it, push the bills through the bank account.
And, and for whatever reason, hedoes this.
I have no idea. I could explain to you why, but
certain years into marriage, youdon't ask the questions.
You just do what makes it easiest, the path of least
resistance to get along. But in this particular time
period, I was needing tips for the gardeners, the the lawn
mowers, the pooper scooper people, the pool guy, the
(05:30):
cleaning people. And I was like, I can't tip them
in plastic. I need more cash.
And he was busy. And he just flipped his head
around at me. And this is very
uncharacteristic. And he was like, you want more
cash, you want more cash, go back to night flirt.
And I was like, what? I was like, OK, you got it,
mother fucker. And just to spite him, I did.
(05:50):
I hadn't been on Night Flirt in years.
I floated in and out of night Flirt since 2008, depending on
whether I was pregnant and whether I was nursing, having
babies or at one point I had a miscarriage.
So if I was heavy or pregnant, Ididn't want to be on Cam and I
would take years off because I don't present myself on Cam if
I'm not the product that I advertise myself to be.
(06:12):
And I never wanted to be tagged or known for being like the
lactating pregnant woman, which I'm not going to tell you I
didn't sell some lactating videos.
But the bottom line is I kept everything on brand and there
were several years that I didn'twork.
So I go back into night flirt. And the irony of this is that
what he was saying is laying kind of a Dick move and a
(06:33):
punishment to me. Go back on night flirt.
My clients were all still in my portal.
They were not only there, they were super excited to see me and
I was like, wait, what is this? So neither were they there and
excited to see me, but they wereready to spend.
They wanted to catch up. They wanted to tell me what
they've been up to. They wanted to hear what I've
been up to and then I was getting a whole new host of like
(06:55):
younger guys and I was like what?
What I failed to realize is I, and I can't speak to all
fetishes and niches, but at least in my particular lane of
fandom, the clients, the men liked it that you, that I was
older, more mature, and more seasoned.
They wanted to be dominated by an older woman.
(07:16):
So I was like, I this just turned everything I thought I
knew on its head. I, this was so upside down for
me, but boy oh boy, was I thrilled to indulge in it.
So there they were. They were all sitting in queue.
So I go back and now remember itis my first and foremost job and
responsibility to keep my fingeron the pulse of what is
(07:37):
happening in the sex industry. Not just popular culture, but
trends, Pornhub trends, trends in all sex worker industry.
Whether you're an escort, full service high level escort,
you're kind of like a street Walker.
You're an only fan girl, you're a chat chatterbait girl, you're
(07:58):
Cam girl or PSO Cam or face Cam with face or no Cam, just phone.
It doesn't matter. It is my job and duty to
understand what is happening. And at that time during like
January, February of 2020, againgoing into March, April, May,
(08:19):
Fetlife, which has always been the OG of the fetish BDSM
community. Fetlife has always been the the
1st place people go when they were looking for fetish related
kinks, relationships, communities.
(08:39):
That was where people went especially before any of these
fetish dating outs were born. So everybody's telling me that
they're using Fetlife. Everyone is telling me.
So I begrudgingly went on to Fetlife and created a profile.
I had created profiles previously on Fetlife and I was
horrified by the messages and the things that I had seen.
So I did not enjoy using the site, so I begrudgingly did it
(09:00):
because it just kept coming up over and over again with my
clients with whom I was reconnecting.
So I go on and I create the profile for the violatrix.
And immediately when you're a New Girl on that site, the the
site users just flock to you. It's like, oh, you know, fresh
New Girl, fresh meat. And they just descend upon you
(09:20):
in droves. And that's only when you're just
brand new because they all want to crack at the New Girl.
So of course, I'm always lookingfor a client.
I had to make my presence known there.
So I'm building my profile. I'm getting blown up with, you
know, instant messages. So there's always typically
whenever you go, whether it's ona dating site or wherever you
are, whatever platform, and you're known as a dominatrix or
(09:42):
a thin Dom, there's always that one daddy master Dom bull, some
asshole who is like, and, and they're not always an asshole,
but typically they're an asshole.
They want to Dom the Dom they get off whatever drives them.
And being a Dom, then a daddy Dom, it, it goes right to the
core of their being to inflate their ego to be the guy that can
(10:07):
dominate the Dom and crack her. Because everybody well knows
that a dominatrix, a fin Dom, she's at the top of the food
chain. She's constantly dominating
everyone. So when you can infiltrate her
and you can manipulate her with words or with texts and you can
crack into that, you can crack that code.
(10:27):
You can often times dominate a Dom and, and often times many of
us are submissive in our personal lives, are submissive
to bulls or submissive to alpha daddy Doms.
So there's always that guy looking for that, that crack in
the foundation for a Dom. And one particular guy worked
his way into my DMS and I was really kind of blowing him off
(10:49):
at first. Like I was nice and cordial.
And then I was like really kind of blowing him off.
And he was persistent, but not completely like crazy
persistent. So we end up having a chat over
a period of I want to say it was3 to 5 days.
As a matter of fact, I actually remember where I was in my
(11:12):
bedroom and my bathroom walking around having these
conversations with him. Now when I say conversations,
they were strictly through the app and he was cute, he was
flirtatious, but he was definitely dominant.
So about 3 days into this, theselittle conversations because
(11:33):
again, remember I am there to talk to the people using the app
and get my finger, keep my finger on the pulse of the
industry. What are the trends?
What are the sites people are using?
And this is the first thing thatany of you should do if you've
been out of the industry for a while.
You don't just dive in. You have to do your due
diligence and find out what are the apps people are using, What
are the, the new buzzwords, trigger words, What are they
(11:56):
like? You know, there's this app field
Feld that I stumbled upon recently and it's like the now
it's the granddaddy of all fetish dating sites, at least
from what I can see. But there's a word on there
called heteroflexible. So a bunch of guys.
I always have a presence on a dating app for at least a month
or two. It helps with reach and
frequency and also satisfies my curiosity.
(12:17):
And I'll upgrade a subscription.Changed my zip code to Austria.
You know, Denmark, I'm going to Ireland, I'm going to Portugal,
I'm going to Brazil. I'm going all over the world.
Of course, New York City and major cities.
But I'm talking to men, seeing what they're using, what apps
and that sort of thing. This is why my knowledge is so
vast and I enjoy it. My intellectual curiosity and
(12:40):
also my kink and fetish curiosity surpasses all.
I should probably put in a legaldisclaimer right now that I'm
going to talk about Fetlife and I don't want to get it caught up
in any sort of legal situation, but this is particularly
specific this story to Fetlife. OK, so after a few days of
(13:05):
talking to this guy, I said OK, this has been fun but I'm a
dominatrix and I'm here for business.
He didn't like that and he wasn't accepting it and he
wanted to Cam and he wants to meet in person and now he was
getting very, very pushy with meand now I was getting I was
giving pushback and I was getting rude.
He didn't like that at all. So as I'm pushing back harder,
(13:30):
he's getting more angry and you could just see the anger
building in him. And when I log in the next day,
I see all these messages from him and he says, I figured out
who you are, I know your name, Iknow where you live.
And I was like, like, why the fuck would you do that?
(13:51):
And what are you trying to provehere?
Like I'm not ever meeting you, I'm whatever.
So I foolishly called his bluff and said I don't believe you.
And he ends up sending me screenshots back somehow, based
on whatever data I had given him, he had in fact figured out
(14:13):
who I was. And now he was sending me
information. And then he says to me, I know
you're a mother. I know you have kids.
This has never happened to me before.
When I tell you the clients on Night Flirt are the sweetest,
kindest, the worst thing that ever happened to me on Night
Flirt is you would do really well and on a day, a week or a
month and some girl would. Some other flirt would have her
(14:34):
boyfriend troll you, call you for 60 seconds, pay the 399, and
then just slam you with negativefeedback all over your profile
to bring your numbers down. That's about the worst thing
that ever happened. And that used to happen quite a
bit back in the day. I am no victim to this now
because my price is so high. They wouldn't attempt it.
(14:56):
I think. I really don't know, but that
was like the worst thing that I ever had happened.
Every now and then you get a creepy client who you can tell
he's not fully there and you just kind of either make the
call, not worth his while, or you block him afterwards and
then you're done with it. But I never had problems with my
clients. You know, I've got this guy with
my personal information, my address.
(15:18):
He's found all sorts of data on me, probably doing one of those
Zomba searches or something, or free people or whatever.
But he had the dad, he had my address, and he knew that I had
children. And he starts threatening me to
an extent that was extremely disconcerting.
I block him, I report him. He had at this point given me
(15:41):
his name and sure enough if the steel trap memory that I have.
And he made an indelible mark inmy memory as far as fear and
safety. And what a what a close call.
And I should have been more careful.
And it was a really good rude awakening as I re entered this
arena, you know, after a long hiatus, after a long period of
(16:04):
time. It was a really good slap of
reality because we need those every now and then to keep us on
the straight and narrow. And that's what happened.
And now I'm going to read you something that popped up.
I want to say it was probably like Yahoo news or some social
media. I caught it out of the corner of
my eye and I did like a double take.
(16:28):
And then I zoomed in and what I read was the following XX.
I'm not going to say the woman'sname.
A 32 year old single mother was murdered by XX on August 16th,
2020 after they met on an onlinedating app.
The crime gained significant attention because the
(16:48):
perpetrators attempt to hide thebody by burning.
It was believed to have ignited a massive fire which eventually
turned into a bigger fire. They had met in a public place
and she had been last seen arriving in California on August
16th, 2020 in her car. Her family filed a missing
(17:10):
persons report after two days and her abandoned car was found
two days later, again in California.
So when I tell you that it was the guy's name, I, I like, I
couldn't believe it. I, I, I couldn't believe it.
But then part of me was like, yes, this is exactly what was
(17:32):
going through my head when he was saying these things to me.
From the fact that I have a verystrong memory, the average
person wouldn't remember that I also happen to remember,
remember specific dates and timeperiods and things going on in
the world at exact times. So I was able to put this
together. I probably stumbled upon this
about a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago.
(17:55):
So this is the cautionary tale of why you don't engage with
strangers on apps. Why?
If you're using dating apps, youdownload Google Voice number,
you never use your last name. You use a burner phone number or
a Google Voice number. You use a burner e-mail.
The bottom line here is you cannot be too careful.
(18:17):
And you And if you've watched any of my Tik Toks, which those
are still up on online dating safety or my YouTube videos, you
know that I say you should have a Google Voice number, you
should have a burner e-mail address.
And those are the things that you use when you're engaging
with someone on a dating app, all the communication right up
(18:39):
and through until you start dating exclusively.
And seriously, you should keep stay in app.
Don't let them take you off app.Don't give out your socials.
So you can't be careful enough. You cannot be too careful.
And the Internet has become the Wild West of crimes and crime
scenes. And it's just made things so
much easier for people to get away with things and your
(19:01):
information and yourself. You're a currency and people
will want it. So you keep all your currency
locked away in a safe and you take appropriate measures and
you cannot be careful enough. And just remember, these dating
sites are not vetting backgroundchecks.
They're not vetting criminal records.
So anybody can say that there anybody on the Internet and, and
(19:24):
a lot of you, a lot of women arestill falling for this and will
continue to fall for this and become victims to the predators.
I, I've said it before and I will say it again, dating apps,
fetish apps are a breeding ground for predators because the
fastest way to commit a crime onsomeone, whatever that crime is,
(19:46):
whether you, they want your money, they want to sexually
assault you, they want to murderyou and take your house, your
car, whatever it is. The easiest way to do that is
through the heart, through emotions.
And dating apps and fetish apps are dealing with lust, emotions,
love. People that are hungry, needy,
and those are the most easy people to prey upon.
(20:08):
And I want you to remember that.As far as other stories, I in in
one of my earlier episodes of the podcast, I talked about the
whole reason why I'm here in front of you now.
I had been friends with someone here in Vegas who I was doing my
phone calls from his apartment and he was recording me without
my knowledge and then later tried to extort me.
(20:29):
And when the restraining order Iwon the case against him, he was
arrested. The DA actually filed the case.
It wasn't me against him, it wasthe DA against him.
And I did win the case. The restraining order just
lifted last month in November. The restraining order was in
place one year after the court win that found him guilty.
And I have not, thank God, heardfrom him.
(20:50):
But here was somebody that I loved and trusted that turned on
me. So when I tell you that it's not
just the predatory strangers outthere lurking, you know, behind
the shadows, behind, you know, adesktop computer or behind a
phone. Oftentimes, just like with, you
know, crimes against children, it's, oh, it's always someone
(21:13):
that's close to the family who knew how to get to the child and
knew the family schedule and that sort of thing.
Often when you deal with these situations that we would find
dangerous, it's often the peopleclosest to you that are going to
compromise your safety. And I've talked about the story
with my restraining order and the guy that outed me and how
(21:36):
I'm here in front of you becauseI decided to control the
narrative and begin outing myself little by little before
he maybe, you know, gets an offshore server and puts up one
of those videos, quote, anonymously that he recorded.
And I'm just waiting for the dayfor that to happen.
But you must be super careful. And just remember it's the
(21:57):
people that the women usually are, the men.
In this case, it was a man that you tell about your phone sex OF
Cam girl exploits, experiences, secrets, clients.
It's going to be the people closest to you that are going to
expose you more often than not. Just remember that you heard it
here first. You know, my whole thing is
(22:17):
always helping single moms and single moms, like I can't make
ends meet. My husband's not paying me the
alimony, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, I have a job
for you. You should do what I do.
I work on the phone and I taughther everything.
I went over to her house, I trained her.
She created her own listing and then at some point she must have
decided it wasn't for her. She turned around, deleted her
listing, told all the other momsthat I was a dirty sex worker
(22:39):
and phone sex and I was an escort and fucked clients and
this that and the other. And next thing I know, my
daughter wasn't getting invited to any parties, sleepovers, play
dates. So you can't be too careful and
just don't tell anyone. I'm at a place in my career
where I make it my business to tell people because again, that
was a part of the narrative of me taking back my power from the
(23:00):
person who was trying to steal it.
So that is the extent of my stalking situation, my obviously
very worst situation that I everhad.
And there's other little things like for example, when I had
gone back into Night Flirt and began connecting with some of my
clients, many of them had actually saved my old videos.
(23:27):
And I don't mean to save them like chronicled them and we're
using them. I used to make these epic videos
in the in the 2000s. I put a lot of work into them
and one, one guy sent me the videos.
I could have died in that Y2K frosty lipstick, no eyebrows, my
big nose kind of aesthetic. I was so horrified.
(23:50):
One of them I had like stilettosand cowboy and a cowboy hat on.
I was like yippee Ki a Oh my God, it was such a mess.
But anyway, not only was I horrified, I was like, Oh my
God, I didn't expect my stuff tolive on.
But the other thing that's important is thousands, 10s of
thousands of clients over 20 years and not one of my clients
had ever leaked my shit to the Internet.
(24:11):
Not one of them. There are photos that some guys
had put on like screenshots and things some guys had put on some
like Reddit subreddit forums maybe, and if you like I will
tell you where to find those if you want to see.
Old frosty lipstick, big nose, no eyebrow me.
Here you go guys. I swear to you, I wasn't trying
(24:34):
to catfish you, but I just went to get you the link of all of
these old pictures of me someonehad posted.
I found them not more than four or five months ago even even
sent them to my kids, and now I cannot find them.
So if you're up for the challenge, here's what you can
Google to find my old pics. God forbid.
(24:56):
My old name on Night Flirt was Adriana.
That was my very first name, a DRIANNAA, and that was my first
name and then later it was the Violatrix.
At different points on Night Flirt, we were all changing our
names early on when we were trying to establish our brands.
So the names that I went under were Adriana, ADRIANNAA, because
(25:23):
I at the time they went in alphabetical order with ranking.
So of course started with an A, ended with a lot of As, and then
after that there was a deluge. There was just a flood of women
that came in with that name. So I changed it to Tuesday
Taylor, like Tuesday is in Monday, Tuesday and then Taylor,
Taylor and then eventually my husband made-up the violatrix,
(25:48):
which I don't even like, but it was so everybody else loved it
and it was so different. I used it and I'm still using
it. But there you go.
There's the challenge for anybody that wants to find my
old pics and you'll know me immediately you'll because at
least my facial grid is still the same if the rest of it has
been completely reorganized and facially balanced.
(26:10):
I did facial balancing. My nose was too big, my chin was
too big, so I got everything balanced.
So this this is pretty facial balancing.
So if you find it, God forbid, don't even tell me in the no.
Tell me in the comments if you find it.
And if you find anything really raunchy, I apologize now.
And that brings us to a close onthe cyber stalking danger piece
(26:31):
of this episode. I should also mention that if if
you're using, no matter what platform you're using,
especially if you're using nightFlare, if a client ever sends
you a link to a porn they want enacted, they want to talk about
whatever the link is and it's toporn, never click it.
Do not ever trust a link. Tell them to send you a screen
(26:53):
recording that's very clearly a screen recording, or they can
tell you how to Google it, but never open a link, period.
The end. And this is really important
because customers often do send links.
I just found it. It was in fact, the creatrix who
had asked me this question abouthow to stay safe in cyber
(27:14):
doming, cyber stalking. She also asks me what sites are
safe to use. So I'm first and foremost going
to save my own site, Night Flirt.
But again, because I mention it all the time, it's getting a
flood of women. And unfortunately it's not
getting a flood of new clients. So we're all scraping for
business and things are down because there's too many girls
and not enough clients. So that's Night Flirt.
(27:36):
Also, Night Flirt doesn't work for a lot of people.
It works great for me because I've been on it, you know, for
20 years, but some of the sites that I've worked on over the
years and I'm currently on Let'sgo triple X Cam babes.
I used to make equally if not more money on Triple X Cam
babes. I I'm not on there any longer
(27:57):
but that was one of them clips for sale and all of the clips
sites are fantastic for making money.
I am a moron with those sites. I don't know how to work them.
I've tried endlessly over the years and I'm not on any of
those. But they are phenomenal sites,
especially if you have a niche like feet, like lactating
(28:20):
pregnant woman just because we were just talking about it.
Or if you, I have one girl who'sa coaching student who's a witch
in New England, that's her thing.
She's a witch. Or another girl who's like a
hypnosis expert. And you have to be careful
because hypnosis is not acceptable on many sites.
It's not acceptable on night flare anymore.
It's a violation of TOS terms ofservice.
(28:41):
So the clip sites are especiallypowerful and great revenue
generators for women with niches.
Only fans is always going to be great, but you have to remember
only fans only works if you are on a site and you are popular
and you can drive traffic to OFOF itself does not advertise
(29:02):
you. So you have to understand what's
a platform and what's an app or well, there's no adult app, but
what's a platform? And then what's the aggregator
that's going to drive? You know, is it, is it
Instagram? Are you on a porn site?
You know, where are you popular on TikTok?
You need an aggregator that's going to pull draw in clients
(29:24):
and followers and then you funnel them, you direct them to
your paywall platform. That's how that works.
So again, here's the popular sites.
Sexed Panther. Sexed Panther is the one that my
clients tell me they all they'veall moved to.
They turned me down. Literally told me that I was
(29:45):
unethical for applying with themafter being so popular on Night
Flirt. Can you imagine the rock bottom
I had? The rock bottom moment I had
when a dirty adult website told me that I was unethical and
immoral for trying to join theirsite.
It's just, it's crazy. Sexy Jobs is a site that I keep
a profile on because 98% of the time you get scammy stuff, but
(30:09):
every now and then you get one job offer or one new site that
rolls out. That's interesting.
So I always keep an active profile on Sexy Jobs and I'm
always scrolling the job boards to see the new sites that are
being rolled out. So what a fin message, FIN
MESSAGE Finn message is 1, but you got to really understand how
(30:31):
to work that site and you have to be extremely active or you'll
make no money at all. There's Finn Doms or I love Finn
Dom. There's all sorts of ones like
that. I'm, I'm on all of those, but I
don't really get any business from them.
Twitter is just a waste of time.Again, Twitter is an aggregator.
It's not a platform for clients.It's an aggregator to drive
(30:51):
traffic. But I don't really use it at
all. And they just banned my someone
hacked my Twitter account and posted something I don't even
know what they posted. And my Twitter is now suspended
indefinitely. So I have a new one, which is
Saint to Siren on Twitter. And then the other site that I
was going to mention to you is Chatterbait.
(31:13):
I not only hear that Chatterbaitis amazing for women, but a lot
of the men that I know in the industry are using Chatterbait.
But they're you're live streaming and you're gaining an
audience type of thing. So that's Chatterbait and all
you have to do is Google and what you want to do.
And this is for the women following me, you know, my
students, coaching students, my mentorship students.
(31:36):
When you get all ready, if you're doing Cam or you're just
doing phone and you log into your computer, log into your
platform to accept calls. You want to have 4 to 5 windows
open on your desktop computer oryour laptop with all the
different platforms that you're on.
You're not going to make any money.
(31:57):
You will not make money if you are sitting like a sitting duck
on one platform waiting for the phone to ring.
You have to be on four to five different platforms, have all
the windows up and open and you're just juggling back and
forth. You're, you're creating traffic,
you're talking, you're chatting and you're constantly updating
your photos or your audio files or your videos or whatever your
(32:20):
content is, you're updating it and you are just plastering it
on those sites. There's a very, very small
memory span of the average adultporn user is very short, very
small. So you have to constantly be
updating your content and and splashing it everywhere and make
(32:41):
sure it's good. Don't put out subpar content.
It's, it's your content is your storefront.
And just remember that. Take it seriously, you know,
take a day, a couple days a week, weekend, whatever it is
per month and dedicate it to your content.
I do have some exciting stuff coming up.
I had put an ad on Craigslist asking for oh, you guys love the
(33:03):
story. I put an ad on Craigslist asking
for guests on my podcast. I wanted adult sex workers,
female. Of course.
I got every guy that's in like those dirty strip shows or dirty
mic down under. I don't remember what it's
called, but I got every guy under the sun who's doing those
(33:24):
shows asked if I if they could be a guest on my podcast.
I was like, no. And then I had two really good
fandom sex workers, full serviceescorts that wanted to do the
show and I was like, great. I wrote to each of them
separately and I said, I will, let's meet for coffee or
cocktails. You choose my treat and these
(33:45):
were women that had been in the industry a long time and they
had something very valuable to bring to my podcast.
So and that's the thing IA lot of women and especially if my
students want to be guests, but I can't have someone who hasn't
been doing this a long time. I need someone to come on who's
going to teach me something. So the banter back and forth,
you guys will learn something from it.
(34:05):
So the first girl, I said to her, OK, what's a good day of
the week? What time, blah, blah, blah.
We get the whole thing ironed out.
And the last thing she said saysto me, the last thing she says
to me is, oh, you have to come pick me up.
I don't have a car. And I'm like, oh, my God.
So I kind of just was like, all right, I have to fly back East.
I'll let you know. I'll be in touch.
The next girl says the same thing to me, But she says it in
(34:29):
a way that's like, by the way, Ilive in like, a sketchy area.
So I let both conversations lapse.
And I don't think much about it.I'm really busy.
And I'm like, well, that's what you get for putting an ad on
Craigslist. The one girl reaches out to me
on Instagram and she's like, you're a fucking bitch.
(34:49):
And I was like, I'm sorry, what?And this is in Adm and she says
you're a fucking bitch. You said I could do your show,
blah, blah, blah. You promised me all these things
I said in the effort of transparency.
Let me let me give this to you clearly because I had just had
it at this point, I couldn't find anybody.
I was going through all of theseemails and I said to her, I
(35:11):
offered you free exposure on my podcast.
You could plug your services, you could promote and broadcast
yourself all you wanted to your hearts desire.
I offered you free drinks or cocktails and I was extremely
accommodating the schedule. But the one thing I am not going
to do in my very expensive car, the competition series European
(35:35):
M2 BMW into the hood to pick up a full service sex worker whom I
do not know, that is where I draw the line.
I had to fucking say this to her.
And right after I said it, I blocked her because I thought I
don't even want to hear what she's going to say to that.
And I realized that sounds egregious and and arrogant and
asshole ish of me. But it was the truth.
(35:56):
And the one thing you're always going to get from me is the
truth. So don't ever ask me a question
if you're not prepared to hear atruthful answer.
I probably repel more people than I attract with this
quality, but it's how I live my life and it's the truth.
So if you guys think I'm a Dick head for not picking up the sex
worker, let me know in the comments as well.
That should pretty much wrap up everything that I had for
(36:17):
episode 9 except for I am super intrigued by this dating app
field Feld. I don't even know how to
pronounce it. F EE LD it's like and apparently
it's been around for like 4 or five years.
I only heard about it a couple of months ago from a Dom and
it's like hinge, but it's hinge unhinged because although you
(36:41):
can't put videos up and it's very glitchy.
This site it's got a lot of privacy.
No one is up your ass, but the words that you're using.
You can put your socials in it as long as you're not, you know,
catfishing and trying to draw strictly business.
But it's very liberating this site.
But the thing that fucking threwme is not only now do we have
pansexual and we have ethically non monogamous ENM.
(37:06):
Basically, I'm married and I'm cheating or I'm married and
we're both kind of worn out, whatever.
So you got the ENM, you've got the you've got the sapiosexuals.
People like smart people, you'vegot the Demi sexuals, you've got
gyno sexual. I don't even know what that is.
I somebody tell me what's a gynosexual?
And then you've got the buy the buy curious, the buy flexible.
(37:27):
But now we have hetero flexible.And I want to end this podcast
on telling you ladies, I've saidit before and I'm going to say
it again. And I know you hear women on
TikTok saying this all the time and you hear gay men on TikTok
saying this all the time. I was with just with your
husband. If you think your husband isn't,
he is. I am here to tell you that it
would appear that there has beena tipping point in the industry
(37:50):
and I'm not exactly certain whatit is in society, but men are
now out and proud and free. I can't tell you the amount of
good looking men, doctors, lawyers and corporate guys, Wall
Street guys that right there on their profile, heteroflexible by
by curious, like they're just out and proud.
Like they don't care if people aren't even hiding it anymore.
(38:12):
And I don't know what the tipping point was in our
industry or in society that kindof changed this.
But you four or five years ago, you would have never seen this.
And now you have these guys thatare basically saying trans, drop
your pants. You got all parts of women and
men bring it on, bend over, stripped out.
Like I can't believe the liberation that's happening.
(38:35):
But my point is, I've always said that you'd be shocked to
know who my clients actually arethat want to want me to force
them to their knees and force byon them and force them to BBC
and all of these things. You cannot believe because my
clients are older. You know, my clients are fifty
6070, most of them many of them,but you're talking about 35 to
(39:00):
4550 year old men that are now full face out on these sites.
No, not hiding behind any barrier like I can't believe it.
But my, my ultimate point is if you think you're a man does not
sit high on the Kinsey scale. You guys know what the Kinsey
scale is. You know how the autism is like
(39:22):
a spectrum. You've got everything from ADHD
all the way up to non verbal autistic like Rain Man and my
family, my, my all my family's is basically just below Rain Man
in the genius Asperger category.And then there's me on ADHD.
But you have the Kinsey scale, which is akin to the Asperger
the, the autism. I'm sorry, the autism spectrum
(39:43):
disorder spectrum, the Kinsey scale is just nobody is 100% not
gay. So you have like a little bit
gay all the way up to extremely gay.
And I'm telling you now, your husband, your boyfriend sits on
that scale. We all do.
You just got to figure out what shade he is.
Look it up Google. And I'm telling you.
(40:04):
And to further this point, I called around to a few people
that I know from gay men to, youknow, bisexual men to trans
women. And all reports are coming back
that most men, if not, have pursued it, including famous
(40:24):
men. You can Google the headlines.
I'm not going to call out one ofmy most favorite actors of all
time got called out for it. But not just most, not just
famous men, but most men if not all are curious, searching,
would like to experience it onceor have.
Don't go hard at your man about this, but but do be aware that
(40:48):
it's more common than not. And what I'm seeing, the
floodgates have just broken. The floodgates have just begun
to burst with what we're about to see.
I mean, we think it's hard enough as women to try to find
boyfriends and husbands now. And, and I often think to
myself, when these guys are on these dating apps and they have
open relationship ENM, I'm like,who's your asshole girlfriend or
(41:11):
wife that's allowing this? And now I've completely changed
from that idea, which is maybe these girls aren't the assholes
in letting their husbands play around and do their thing.
Maybe these girls are the evolved version of the rest of
us who are saying we're going todo it one way or another.
We are animals at our core, right?
(41:31):
We're just evolved animals and they're going to be curious.
They're going to do this. I'm going to get the upper hand
by telling him he has the freedom to do it.
I don't know. Let me know in the comments who
you think is right in this situation.
Would you be open to your man doing this?
Do you date men who have done this or talk about it?
Do you let them engage in fantasy play about this?
This is where my intellectual kink and fetish and domination
(41:58):
submission lifestyle curiosity kills the cat.
This is where I deep. I am so utterly fascinated by
what makes people tick, straight, gay, by whatever it is
I want to understand. My hairdresser just showed me
the Instagram of a woman that's been that's been coming to her
(42:20):
recently for hair extensions andshe said, look at her Instagram.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's beautiful.
She's 26. She just had like full
everything done, even a a voice change.
And then she swipes and shows methe girl's picture.
Previously she was a man and shewas so fucking hot.
Like I'm crushing on this picture, like the six pack, the
(42:43):
the pecs, dark skin. I was like, she's Viviana
something I don't know. I'm following her on Instagram.
You can see, but she's so fucking beautiful.
But she was hot as a man and it gave me pause.
I was like, wait. And now that you see this
beautiful woman who looked like that as a man but may or may not
still have a penis, like it's soconfusing.
(43:04):
I don't know. Let me know your thoughts in the
comments and if you'd like more on this topic, because this is
really what I want to deep dive.And what I was going to say when
I interrupted myself was that now I'm looking I'm talking to
guests to bring on who are goingto deep dive these topics as
well if as as well as give T andgossip about what's going on in
major cities. So that's kind of where I'm
(43:26):
going to take my first guest situation, which hopefully will
be the next episode. Thank you for tuning in.
I love all your comments and feedback.
And let me know what you want for next episode aside from
guests, because I'm working on that.
Merry Christmas. Happy holidays and an amazing
new year for all of you, all of us together.
(43:46):
I love my team, I love my family.
Thank you for being here. See you next time, Episode 10.
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Betrayal: Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a brand new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-4 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.