March 21, 2025 • 29 mins
Interview can feel like the most nerve-wracking part of competition, but are you making it harder than it needs to be? In this episode, I'm breaking down the biggest don'ts of pageant interview, including outdated strategies that actually increase your nerves and make it harder to connect with judges.
From trying to control the conversation to over-rehearsing responses, I'll explain why these habits don't serve you and what to do instead. Plus, I'm sharing a personal story about a time I was convinced a judge disliked me… only to find out he gave me a perfect score.
If you've ever left an interview thinking, I could have said that better, then you won't want to miss this. And if you're ready to take your interview skills to the next level, sign up for my free March Masterclass on Interview Skills. Link below!
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Socials: @sashandsoul | @fearlesslyauthenticcoach | @raeannajohnson
Websites: www.fearlesslyauthentic.com | www.sashandsoul.com
Email: info@fearlesslyauthenticcoach.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
Happy to have you back thisweek and happy spring.
You guys, it's officiallyspring.
Ugh, I could not be any morehappy about that.
I am just not a winter person.
I live in the Midwest so it'sugh like I need to move south.
(00:22):
But yesterday was aninteresting weather day here in
Wisconsin, because it rained.
Most of the day, was like supergloomy, and then it started
thunderstorming and then hailingand then later turned into snow
.
So it was just a very like Iwas laughing about.
It, just felt like winter wasfighting to stay alive while
(00:44):
spring was fighting to come in.
So it was just it was a crazyday, but today it is sunny out.
It's a little chilly though,but at least I'm looking at blue
skies again.
I feel like I have been sayingthat like every week now for a
few weeks, which isn't a badthing, because it has been kind
of a rough week for me.
Like I thought I was going tobe in a great mood this week.
(01:07):
Just last week was kind of adowner, and then this week I'm
like okay, I'm back into it,like going to get back into the
swing of things, and then I justcouldn't.
It was just it was rough.
So I really had to pull out allthe self care tools and
practice them, even though theyweren't making me feel better,
just to keep myself moving andgetting through the week.
So sometimes that's what yougot to do.
(01:29):
But anyway, let's dive in.
Today I want to talk aboutinterview.
Interview is always a hot topic.
It's always a fun thing to talkabout.
Interview was my favorite phaseof competition once I really
got the hang of it, when I firststarted competing when I was
17,.
Interview was the scariestthing in the world though not as
scary as the onstage question,I will say that.
(01:58):
But once I gained my voice andknew myself better and
understood my messaging more andgained that level of confidence
for interview, interview becamemy favorite thing.
And then when I worked with acoach that really opened my eyes
to different skills to practiceand to use in interview, it
really just made the experienceof interview that much more fun.
And that's what I'm going to betalking about in the March
Masterclass coming up on Tuesday, the 25th, with.
(02:25):
So I'll have a link in thisepisode description for you to
go ahead and sign up for theMarch Masterclass on Interview
Skills.
That is where I'm going to diveinto what to do in interview,
but today, to prepare for thatMasterclass on Tuesday, I wanted
to talk about what not to do ininterview, so let's talk about
why this is important.
I think oftentimes we know thatthere are things that we're
afraid of doing an interview andso we try to overcorrect and
(02:55):
we're kind of told like an oldschool way of talking about
interview is to try to controlthe interview, to make sure that
you are spinning every questionback into, like your service
initiative or your platform oryou know, really showing up in a
certain way, in a certainpresence that is emblematic of
the title holder.
And while some of those thingsare helpful tools to use, they
(03:18):
can be a little misguided,especially if they're overused
or used inappropriately.
So I want to talk about thethings that I specifically coach
my clients not to do ininterview, and then on Tuesday
we're going to dive into what todo instead and how to practice
interview in a way that'sactually helpful for you,
because something to keep inmind, as well as your practicing
(03:40):
interview and doing mock panels, is that when you have a mock
panel, the mock judges are goingto be hyper-analyzing your
performance, because that's whatthey're there for is to help
you practice and to help youimprove.
So they're going to behyper-analyzing, they're going
to be looking for the things tohelp you improve on, giving you
constructive criticism andfeedback and helping you kind of
(04:04):
adjust your approach andinterview, and that's important
and it's valuable.
In many ways, however, it's whenwe start thinking about the
actual interview, as if thejudges are looking at you as
mock judges are.
What I mean by that is when youwalk into an actual interview,
the judges have a very differentmentality than a mock panel of
judges has, because they arelooking for the person that's
(04:26):
going to represent that title,that organization, to the best
of their ability.
So they're looking forconnection.
They're looking for the depthof what you bring to the table,
for your preparedness, for yourconfidence level.
So they're looking more at panout on the big picture of who
you are.
They really want to get to knowyou and get to know what it is
(04:56):
that you bring to the table.
Because they have a job to do.
They have to pick the winner ofthat competition to represent
the organization doing well on avery nitpicky level.
It's just not how it goes in aninterview.
So when we're preparing forinterview, we have to prepare
for what an actual interview islike, not prepare for a mock
interview, if that makes sense.
And I think when I started tounderstand that, it completely
(05:16):
shifted my perspective on how toapproach interview for myself
back when I was competing, andhow to approach mocks and really
asking for what I need to getout of that mock interview so
that I could be a little moreproactive in my own prep.
And it helps shift myperspective as a coach as well,
(05:36):
and so how I coach interview andhow I do mocks with my clients
is very different than what Ithink a lot of people tend to do
.
None of it wrong.
Like mock panels are very, veryhelpful, but that's why I
really want to talk today aboutwhat not to fall into the
(05:56):
pattern and the habit of doingso.
Number one thing to not do ininterview and this is going to
sound way off from what you'veprobably been told over and over
again do not try to control theinterview.
This idea of like leading thejudges or leading the interview
(06:17):
is a little outdated, becausewhen you are, if you're trying
to approach the interview as ifit's a conversation with three,
five, seven friendly people thatare volunteering their time and
they are looking to find theright person to represent this
title.
I mean, think about what you'redoing as a title holder the
entire year.
When you go into communityevents, when you're having
(06:38):
conversations with people.
You're having a genuineconversation.
You are listening to them,you're responding, you're
reacting.
A genuine conversation.
You are listening to them,you're responding.
You're reacting very genuinely.
And so if you're in theinterview and you are trying to
control what the judges hearfrom you and lead them into
asking you things you want totalk about, that's super
disingenuine and it's notsomething that you do when
(07:00):
you're out in the public as atitle holder.
So I want to help you get pastthis idea of needing to somehow
control the interview and makesure that you say everything
that you want the judges to hearyou say.
Here's why this is an importantpiece to understand.
Getting out everything that youwant the judges to hear from
(07:23):
you in interview isn't helpful,because judges only remember 5%
to 7% of the words that you say.
So if you're trying to lead thejudges into things, they're
going to actually remember moreof how that makes them feel and
kind of the disingenuinenessthat that can be, or like the
kind of like political likenature of that, like, if you
think of politicians, that likekind of spin answers into what
(07:45):
they want to talk about or dodgethe question, like it just is
kind of yucky, and so the judgesare going to remember that more
than they're going to rememberwhat you're actually saying for
the most part.
So if you wouldn't try tocontrol a normal conversation,
why would you try and controlthe interview?
So, instead of being in controlof the interview, be in control
(08:07):
of yourself, of how you show upin that interview, of how you
handle yourself, not theinterview itself.
Trying to control theconversation can actually make
you more nervous because you'rein your head trying to make sure
that you say all the thingsthat you want to say and answer
(08:27):
the questions correctly and aregetting strategic about what you
say so that maybe they'll askyou a question based off of that
topic, and it actually causes alot more anxiety than calm.
And so if you're feeling moreof that calm and maybe makes you
more nervous because you'reafraid of not saying the right
thing or that they're going toask you something that you're
(08:49):
not prepared for, they're goingto feel that energy too.
But if you go in in control ofyourself, really calm, not
expecting anything, but preparedfor everything, you're going to
have a better experience and,more importantly, the judges are
going to have a betterexperience with you as well,
which is going to influence yourscore, okay.
So try and steer away fromtrying to control the interview
(09:10):
and instead be more in controlof your presence and what you
are and how you are showing upin that room.
Next and I alluded to thisearlier do not spin every answer
into your platform or yourservice initiative.
I think this is a reallyhelpful tool when you are
getting started in an interviewand practicing interview,
(09:32):
because you want to talk aboutthe things you know about right
and you want to showcase thatyou are prepared to do the job,
and a big part of the job isyour service initiative do the
job, and a big part of the jobis your service initiative.
So I understand why this isoften something that is coached
for you when you're firstgetting started in practicing
interview, but it's problematicbecause if the judges are asking
(09:56):
you a direct question aboutsomething and you all of a
sudden lead into your serviceinitiative or you do this
frequently it does come acrossagain as kind of political, like
polypolitical pageant girl andrehearsed, rather than genuine.
So when I'm a judge, when I'masking you questions, I
genuinely want to know about you, and so if I'm asking you a
(10:19):
question and all of a sudden youkind of spin it into something
that you want to talk about, Idon't really feel like you care
enough to answer my question.
And so what I'm saying is likerespect the judges enough to
answer their questions directly,because if they're asking you a
question, they want to know theanswer to that question.
If they wanted to ask you aboutyour platform, they'd ask you
(10:40):
about your platform and keep inmind that you've got your essay
down there and they've probablyread a whole bunch about it and
maybe they know that you aresolid in your initiative and
they want to know who you are asa human being, because your
service initiative I've saidbefore is like maybe 30% of the
work that you're actually doingas a title holder.
Depending on the title, I'mgoing to say that, like if
(11:01):
you're in more of a volunteersystem, it makes sense you would
be doing a lot more with yourinitiative.
But oftentimes pageantorganizations come with other
responsibilities, and when I wasMiss Wisconsin, for example, or
when I was a local title holder, I was doing a lot of local
community events and some of thetime it's like taking the
initiative to work on my ownplatform work as well, but more
(11:23):
often you are doing thosecommunity events and being a
goodwill ambassador for thecommunity that you serve.
So when you're answeringquestions, the judges want to
know who you are, not just whatyou do.
And I say this all the time youwin with who you are, not with
what you do.
So we get wrapped up in.
You know doing a whole bunch ofstuff with our platform, with
(11:44):
our community service initiative, and wanting to make sure that
the judges see that you arereally proactive and really,
really highly involved.
But do you ever experiencewhere, like you are competing
with someone, that you don't seethem doing as much as you think
that you're doing with yourplatform, but somehow they still
win?
And it's kind of frustratingbecause we have this idea that
(12:06):
the more you do, the morevaluable you are, the more
worthy you are of that title,and that's just not it.
The judges know that they needto find someone that genuinely
connects with people, becausethat's what you're doing in the
job.
So you win with who you are,not with what you do.
So when you are really justspinning it back into your
(12:27):
service initiative, it reallymakes you seem pretty
one-dimensional and that you'rekind of lacking that depth of
really knowing who you are andhaving more of the oh, being
inspirational or having thatheart and the passion for people
and for things way beyond justyour service initiative.
(12:56):
You are so much more than justyour service initiative.
So make sure that you areanswering questions directly so
know when to weave in yourinitiative, naturally, and when
you need to be focusing onyourself as a leader and as a
human being.
Next, this is really hardbecause we are human beings and
(13:18):
we react to people's nonverbals.
But do not worry about thejudge's reactions.
There are going to be judges inthat room that may be
consistently non-reactive toevery single contestant that
they are interviewing and theremay be judges that decide
they're going to be the toughjudge.
And there will be judges thatare super nice Maybe they're the
(13:43):
novice judge and they're justsmiling the whole time and
really want to help you feelreally comfortable.
This can be really misleadingif you are worrying about the
judge's reactions, because thebottom line is you do not know
what they are thinking.
I have done all of the above.
I have been the jovial, happyjudge, I have been the tough
(14:03):
judge and I have been kind ofthe stoic, non-reactive judge.
But in each circumstance I'mstill judging internally the
same way, asking the samequestions, scoring still
consistently with what I'mseeing and how you're showing up
.
So when you're worrying abouthow the judges are reacting,
(14:26):
that's going to influence howyou show up.
It's going to make you morenervous and the more nervous
that you get, the more fillerwords you're going to have, the
more you're going to stumbleover what you're saying, the
more you're going to forget whatyou're saying, the more you're
going to worry about what you'resaying and all of those things
are actually just going to leadto a lower score.
There is one particularexperience that I have that I
(14:48):
will never forget.
I was at a national competitioncompeting and I had a judge
that was so hard on me and hejust kept coming back at me,
follow-up question afterfollow-up question on like a
politically-based topic that wewere talking about, something
that was going on within thelegislature in Wisconsin, and I
kept answering directly and I,you know respectfully answered
(15:12):
based off of how I felt aboutthe circumstance, and I walked
out of that interview thinkingthat that judge absolutely hated
me, like truly didn't like me.
He was so tough on me.
Just, I thought he was tough onme in that like his expressions
made it seem like that and theway that he just kept like kind
of being the devil's advocate inthe room on that topic.
(15:35):
But at that particularcompetition, after everything
was said and done, we had thechance to talk to the judges and
now, mind you, I finished as atop five finalist and I tied for
overall interview and I wasfloored because I did not think
that my interview was goodenough for an overall interview
(15:56):
score.
And I spoke with this judge andhe outright said, oh, I
absolutely loved you.
And I was stunned and Iliterally said to him I thought
you hated me.
And he said, oh gosh, no, hesaid I gave you a perfect score.
I thought you were incredible,you stood your ground, you were
respectful about your answers,all these things and I was just.
(16:17):
This was one of the mosteyeopening experiences for me
when it comes to letting go ofwhat we think the judges are
actually thinking.
Show up exactly who you are.
Don't worry about how thejudges are reacting to you.
It could be an act.
They could be nervous.
You just never know whatsomeone else is thinking or what
they're feeling.
You may have a judge in therethat literally doesn't ask a
(16:39):
question the entire time, so youhave no idea where they stand.
The bottom line is it doesn'tmatter, because you can't
control it.
The judges are going to put ascore down based on what they
think and what their experiencewas with you in that room, but
their reaction doesn't dictatewhat their experience was.
So try your best not to readinto it.
Walk out of that roomcelebrating the successes that
(17:00):
you had in that interview, feelgood about what you did, and
then onward and upward.
It doesn't make any sense tosit there and dwell on the
things that you can't control.
You got other things to worryabout.
Interview is done.
You got to go get ready foronstage competition, so let it
go.
Move on onward and upward.
So focus on your energy, theenergy that you're bringing into
(17:20):
the room, not their energy.
Next, do not try and fit a mold.
This is so hard because whenyou want something so badly and
when you're looking atrepresentatives of the title
that you so badly want to wearacross your heart.
It's easy to think that we needto show up a very specific way,
(17:43):
talk a certain way, behave acertain way, but the bottom line
is the judges are not lookingfor any specific type.
They are looking for someonewho owns exactly who they are,
who shows up genuinely,authentically who they are.
The woman that crowned me, missWisconsin, has a completely
(18:05):
different personality than me.
She is amazing, she is outgoing, she is like hyper, like who's
outgoing real, like says what'son her mind is hilarious.
And then there's me who, likeI'm a little more reserved, I am
(18:25):
outgoing to an extent, but notat that level, and I could
easily think that the judgeswouldn't pick me because I'm
nothing like her and she's theoutgoing title holder.
But that's so problematicbecause look at any sequence of
new title holders, year afteryear after year, and how
different they are.
You cannot go into anycompetition thinking they're
looking for the person that theyjust crowned a year ago,
(18:47):
because that's just not the case, anything specific.
So you can't be a specificthing that the judges are
looking for because they're open.
They are wide open to new ideas, to new people, to new
personalities.
It's a blank slate, so the bestthing that you can do is go in
(19:09):
as yourself.
The best title holders do notfit a certain template.
There is no perfect recipe forbeing a title holder.
The best title holder is goingto shape the role around their
own personalities, their ownstrengths, and they're going to
build it off of their ownplatform, their mission, their
(19:30):
purpose, their why.
So try not to go at it from thestandpoint of being what you
think that they want, becausethat's going to make you blend
in and not stand out as apotentially really incredible
title holder.
Don't try and fit the mold.
(19:50):
Mold the title around who youare instead.
That's what it means to show upfearlessly authentic, and if
you're struggling with that, Iwould say the problem may be
that you don't really have aclear idea of exactly who you
are, or maybe you don't trustthat who you are is perfectly
good enough.
So that is something that yougot to work through, whether
(20:13):
that is in therapy or with amindset coach, to really help
you uncover and remember who youare.
Unearth all of the amazingthings of who you are, so that
you can show up in that lightrather than kind of scrambling
to figure out who that is andwhat that looks like or who that
(20:33):
person should be.
That's going to be crowned,because that's just not it.
I can tell you from experiencethat being myself brought me
more joy, better experiences ininterview, less fear and anxiety
and much better feedback fromthe judges and from people that
(20:57):
I met as a title holder as well.
So I know it kind of it'sbecoming cliche to just say like
, be who you are, be authentic,be transparent.
That's hard to do when youdon't know who that is.
So that's the work that youneed to do in your preparation
for interview is really uncover,remember who you are, know who
(21:17):
you are, flaws and all and findthe confidence to show up as
that person.
Next, and I think final, don'tdo an interview is and this is
kind of basic but don't saythese phrases Thank you for that
question.
It's super overused, it'sreally unnatural.
(21:40):
We don't say that inconversations or that's a great
question, the judges do not needyour validation.
It kind of shows that you aretaking time to think about it or
that maybe you are unsure ofthe answer.
And please, this is one of mypet peeves, actually, and it's a
habit.
I know it's a habit, but don'trepeat the question.
(22:02):
It kind of feels like you'restalling and also what it does
is it's going to potentiallylead you into forgetting what
you were even talking about.
I know it kind of seems likethat's not possible because
you're repeating the question.
So how could you forget whatthe question was or what you're
going to talk about?
But when you can just diveright into your response and
(22:22):
answer it head on, it's going tocome across way more fluidly
and less like you have to thinkabout it and that you are like
rehearsed or trying to saysomething perfectly.
So when you're practicing,practicing, practice just
answering the question directlywithout repeating the question,
that's something that I thinkwe're taught to do in school too
(22:43):
, when we're writing essays andstuff is like when you have an
essay response or a writtenresponse on an exam, to kind of
repeat the question in yourfirst sentence, to like lead
into what you're saying as iflike if someone was reading that
without the question prompt,then they know exactly what
you're talking about.
But the judge just asked youthe question, so they reading
that without the question prompt, then they know exactly what
you're talking about.
But the judge just asked youthe question, so they don't need
the question prompt in youranswer.
So don't repeat the question.
(23:04):
So those three things againDon't thank the judges for the
question.
That's not necessary and it'sunnatural.
Don't tell them that that's agreat question because judges
just don't need your validation.
That's a great question becausejudges just don't need your
validation.
I think sometimes it's kind oflike a genuine response of like,
oh my gosh, like I've neverthought of that before and like
(23:25):
I get that.
But again, answering head on isalways the way to go.
And then don't repeat thequestion because it just really
just feels like you're stalling.
It also takes up time from yourinterview when you already have
a very short amount of time toexpress who you are in that
interview.
Don't take up time by repeatingthe question at the beginning
of your answer.
All right, so to recap, all ofthese don'ts, don't try to
(23:50):
control the interview.
It's not something that you doin a conversation and you want
to be natural in interview.
So control, be in control ofyourself, but don't try and
control the interview, Otherwiseit will make you more nervous.
Do not spin every answer intoyour platform or your service
initiative.
Leading the interview in thatway again is going to cause more
(24:11):
nerves.
It's not natural.
It's not actually helping thejudges see who you are, and you
are so much more than just yourplatform.
You win with who you are, notwith what you do.
Don't worry about the judges'reactions, because you'll never
know what they're actuallythinking.
Sometimes judges that areseasoned will put on that face
because they want to be thetough judge and they want to see
how you handle yourself.
(24:32):
So be in control of yourself.
Show up genuine and focus onyour own energy, not their
energy.
Don't try and fit a mold,because the judges aren't
looking for anything inparticular.
They want to see you as yourauthentic, beautiful, lovely
self, the person that's going toshow up every single day in the
job wearing that crown.
(24:52):
And don't say those likeredundant phrases at the
beginning of your answers,thanking them for the question
that's a great question orrepeating the question.
It's stalling.
It's going to get you know youconfused.
It is unnecessary and it takesup time that you could be using
to show the judges who you are.
Even more so if you findyourself doing any of these
(25:13):
habits, or even like overrehearsing or worrying about the
judge's reactions, trying toforce the conversation.
It's definitely something thatis taught, it's learned.
It's something that we do askind of a stress response, as a
trying to like control asituation that we really don't
have any control over.
But you can unlearn them, youcan shift into having a way more
(25:35):
conversational, into having away more conversational, real,
raw, authentic interview if youhave the right strategies.
So that is exactly why I wantyou to join the March
Masterclass that I'm hosting onInterview Skills.
I'm hosting it on Tuesday,march 25th, from 7 to 8 pm,
central Time.
Sign up, it's free.
(25:56):
It's just going to be that hourof me going over all of the
techniques, the structure ofinterviews, on how to have
compelling answers that feelreally natural and not rehearsed
, how to control your nerves andstay composed under the
pressure that you're in in thatinterview.
I'm going to be teaching youall of these tools and skills
(26:17):
that I teach my clients, that Iused when I was competing, the
skills and tools that led me tooverall interview wins, to
winning titles that that Ialways dreamt of.
It's also like the things thatI forgot to do at Miss America
that led me to like having aterrible interview experience
for myself, and I just don'twant any of you to have any of
(26:38):
those experiences.
These skills and tools andtechniques that I'll be talking
about on Tuesday are lifechanging.
I know because my clients havecompletely overhauled their
interviews and had incredibleexperiences with these
techniques, have won overallinterviews and non-finalist
interviews and won their titles.
(26:59):
So it's definitely a masterclassthat you don't want to miss.
So this is for you.
If you want to elevate yourinterview, if you want to leave
a lasting impression, if youwant to walk out of interview
feeling really good, feelingcontent, not even like amazing.
You don't have to feel amazing,like best interview ever, just
walking out feeling like I didwhat I came to do.
I'm good with this and now it'stime to move onward and upward.
(27:21):
So if you've ever leftinterview instead thinking I
could have said that better,then you definitely need to sign
up for this class.
The link is going to be in theshow notes.
If you can't make it live, I amgoing to send the recording
later, so definitely sign up.
It's a good one.
Of all of my monthlymasterclasses, I would say this
is probably the best one to signup for at this stage of the
(27:43):
game, especially if you arepreparing for upcoming
competitions this spring.
All right, y'all, I hope youfound this helpful.
Message me, let me know if youdid find this helpful, or if you
have any questions related toany of these things that we want
to try avoiding in interview,or if you have a different
perspective.
(28:04):
I'm definitely open to hearingother ideas and perspectives on
approaches to interview andwhat's worked for you and what
hasn't worked for you in thepast as well.
So reach out.
I'd love to hear from you andwith that, I will talk to you
again next week.
Take care of yourselves.
Happy spring, bye.
Hello, welcome back to Sash and Soul.
Happy to have you back thisweek and happy spring.
You guys, it's officiallyspring.
Ugh, I could not be any morehappy about that.
I am just not a winter person.
I live in the Midwest so it'sugh like I need to move south.
(00:22):
But yesterday was aninteresting weather day here in
Wisconsin, because it rained.
Most of the day, was like supergloomy, and then it started
thunderstorming and then hailingand then later turned into snow
.
So it was just a very like Iwas laughing about.
It, just felt like winter wasfighting to stay alive while
(00:44):
spring was fighting to come in.
So it was just it was a crazyday, but today it is sunny out.
It's a little chilly though,but at least I'm looking at blue
skies again.
I feel like I have been sayingthat like every week now for a
few weeks, which isn't a badthing, because it has been kind
of a rough week for me.
Like I thought I was going tobe in a great mood this week.
(01:07):
Just last week was kind of adowner, and then this week I'm
like okay, I'm back into it,like going to get back into the
swing of things, and then I justcouldn't.
It was just it was rough.
So I really had to pull out allthe self care tools and
practice them, even though theyweren't making me feel better,
just to keep myself moving andgetting through the week.
So sometimes that's what yougot to do.
(01:29):
But anyway, let's dive in.
Today I want to talk aboutinterview.
Interview is always a hot topic.
It's always a fun thing to talkabout.
Interview was my favorite phaseof competition once I really
got the hang of it, when I firststarted competing when I was
17,.
Interview was the scariestthing in the world though not as
scary as the onstage question,I will say that.
(01:58):
But once I gained my voice andknew myself better and
understood my messaging more andgained that level of confidence
for interview, interview becamemy favorite thing.
And then when I worked with acoach that really opened my eyes
to different skills to practiceand to use in interview, it
really just made the experienceof interview that much more fun.
And that's what I'm going to betalking about in the March
Masterclass coming up on Tuesday, the 25th, with.
(02:25):
So I'll have a link in thisepisode description for you to
go ahead and sign up for theMarch Masterclass on Interview
Skills.
That is where I'm going to diveinto what to do in interview,
but today, to prepare for thatMasterclass on Tuesday, I wanted
to talk about what not to do ininterview, so let's talk about
why this is important.
I think oftentimes we know thatthere are things that we're
afraid of doing an interview andso we try to overcorrect and
(02:55):
we're kind of told like an oldschool way of talking about
interview is to try to controlthe interview, to make sure that
you are spinning every questionback into, like your service
initiative or your platform oryou know, really showing up in a
certain way, in a certainpresence that is emblematic of
the title holder.
And while some of those thingsare helpful tools to use, they
(03:18):
can be a little misguided,especially if they're overused
or used inappropriately.
So I want to talk about thethings that I specifically coach
my clients not to do ininterview, and then on Tuesday
we're going to dive into what todo instead and how to practice
interview in a way that'sactually helpful for you,
because something to keep inmind, as well as your practicing
(03:40):
interview and doing mock panels, is that when you have a mock
panel, the mock judges are goingto be hyper-analyzing your
performance, because that's whatthey're there for is to help
you practice and to help youimprove.
So they're going to behyper-analyzing, they're going
to be looking for the things tohelp you improve on, giving you
constructive criticism andfeedback and helping you kind of
(04:04):
adjust your approach andinterview, and that's important
and it's valuable.
In many ways, however, it's whenwe start thinking about the
actual interview, as if thejudges are looking at you as
mock judges are.
What I mean by that is when youwalk into an actual interview,
the judges have a very differentmentality than a mock panel of
judges has, because they arelooking for the person that's
(04:26):
going to represent that title,that organization, to the best
of their ability.
So they're looking forconnection.
They're looking for the depthof what you bring to the table,
for your preparedness, for yourconfidence level.
So they're looking more at panout on the big picture of who
you are.
They really want to get to knowyou and get to know what it is
(04:56):
that you bring to the table.
Because they have a job to do.
They have to pick the winner ofthat competition to represent
the organization doing well on avery nitpicky level.
It's just not how it goes in aninterview.
So when we're preparing forinterview, we have to prepare
for what an actual interview islike, not prepare for a mock
interview, if that makes sense.
And I think when I started tounderstand that, it completely
(05:16):
shifted my perspective on how toapproach interview for myself
back when I was competing, andhow to approach mocks and really
asking for what I need to getout of that mock interview so
that I could be a little moreproactive in my own prep.
And it helps shift myperspective as a coach as well,
(05:36):
and so how I coach interview andhow I do mocks with my clients
is very different than what Ithink a lot of people tend to do
.
None of it wrong.
Like mock panels are very, veryhelpful, but that's why I
really want to talk today aboutwhat not to fall into the
(05:56):
pattern and the habit of doingso.
Number one thing to not do ininterview and this is going to
sound way off from what you'veprobably been told over and over
again do not try to control theinterview.
This idea of like leading thejudges or leading the interview
(06:17):
is a little outdated, becausewhen you are, if you're trying
to approach the interview as ifit's a conversation with three,
five, seven friendly people thatare volunteering their time and
they are looking to find theright person to represent this
title.
I mean, think about what you'redoing as a title holder the
entire year.
When you go into communityevents, when you're having
(06:38):
conversations with people.
You're having a genuineconversation.
You are listening to them,you're responding, you're
reacting.
A genuine conversation.
You are listening to them,you're responding.
You're reacting very genuinely.
And so if you're in theinterview and you are trying to
control what the judges hearfrom you and lead them into
asking you things you want totalk about, that's super
disingenuine and it's notsomething that you do when
(07:00):
you're out in the public as atitle holder.
So I want to help you get pastthis idea of needing to somehow
control the interview and makesure that you say everything
that you want the judges to hearyou say.
Here's why this is an importantpiece to understand.
Getting out everything that youwant the judges to hear from
(07:23):
you in interview isn't helpful,because judges only remember 5%
to 7% of the words that you say.
So if you're trying to lead thejudges into things, they're
going to actually remember moreof how that makes them feel and
kind of the disingenuinenessthat that can be, or like the
kind of like political likenature of that, like, if you
think of politicians, that likekind of spin answers into what
(07:45):
they want to talk about or dodgethe question, like it just is
kind of yucky, and so the judgesare going to remember that more
than they're going to rememberwhat you're actually saying for
the most part.
So if you wouldn't try tocontrol a normal conversation,
why would you try and controlthe interview?
So, instead of being in controlof the interview, be in control
(08:07):
of yourself, of how you show upin that interview, of how you
handle yourself, not theinterview itself.
Trying to control theconversation can actually make
you more nervous because you'rein your head trying to make sure
that you say all the thingsthat you want to say and answer
(08:27):
the questions correctly and aregetting strategic about what you
say so that maybe they'll askyou a question based off of that
topic, and it actually causes alot more anxiety than calm.
And so if you're feeling moreof that calm and maybe makes you
more nervous because you'reafraid of not saying the right
thing or that they're going toask you something that you're
(08:49):
not prepared for, they're goingto feel that energy too.
But if you go in in control ofyourself, really calm, not
expecting anything, but preparedfor everything, you're going to
have a better experience and,more importantly, the judges are
going to have a betterexperience with you as well,
which is going to influence yourscore, okay.
So try and steer away fromtrying to control the interview
(09:10):
and instead be more in controlof your presence and what you
are and how you are showing upin that room.
Next and I alluded to thisearlier do not spin every answer
into your platform or yourservice initiative.
I think this is a reallyhelpful tool when you are
getting started in an interviewand practicing interview,
(09:32):
because you want to talk aboutthe things you know about right
and you want to showcase thatyou are prepared to do the job,
and a big part of the job isyour service initiative do the
job, and a big part of the jobis your service initiative.
So I understand why this isoften something that is coached
for you when you're firstgetting started in practicing
interview, but it's problematicbecause if the judges are asking
(09:56):
you a direct question aboutsomething and you all of a
sudden lead into your serviceinitiative or you do this
frequently it does come acrossagain as kind of political, like
polypolitical pageant girl andrehearsed, rather than genuine.
So when I'm a judge, when I'masking you questions, I
genuinely want to know about you, and so if I'm asking you a
(10:19):
question and all of a sudden youkind of spin it into something
that you want to talk about, Idon't really feel like you care
enough to answer my question.
And so what I'm saying is likerespect the judges enough to
answer their questions directly,because if they're asking you a
question, they want to know theanswer to that question.
If they wanted to ask you aboutyour platform, they'd ask you
(10:40):
about your platform and keep inmind that you've got your essay
down there and they've probablyread a whole bunch about it and
maybe they know that you aresolid in your initiative and
they want to know who you are asa human being, because your
service initiative I've saidbefore is like maybe 30% of the
work that you're actually doingas a title holder.
Depending on the title, I'mgoing to say that, like if
(11:01):
you're in more of a volunteersystem, it makes sense you would
be doing a lot more with yourinitiative.
But oftentimes pageantorganizations come with other
responsibilities, and when I wasMiss Wisconsin, for example, or
when I was a local title holder, I was doing a lot of local
community events and some of thetime it's like taking the
initiative to work on my ownplatform work as well, but more
(11:23):
often you are doing thosecommunity events and being a
goodwill ambassador for thecommunity that you serve.
So when you're answeringquestions, the judges want to
know who you are, not just whatyou do.
And I say this all the time youwin with who you are, not with
what you do.
So we get wrapped up in.
You know doing a whole bunch ofstuff with our platform, with
(11:44):
our community service initiative, and wanting to make sure that
the judges see that you arereally proactive and really,
really highly involved.
But do you ever experiencewhere, like you are competing
with someone, that you don't seethem doing as much as you think
that you're doing with yourplatform, but somehow they still
win?
And it's kind of frustratingbecause we have this idea that
(12:06):
the more you do, the morevaluable you are, the more
worthy you are of that title,and that's just not it.
The judges know that they needto find someone that genuinely
connects with people, becausethat's what you're doing in the
job.
So you win with who you are,not with what you do.
So when you are really justspinning it back into your
(12:27):
service initiative, it reallymakes you seem pretty
one-dimensional and that you'rekind of lacking that depth of
really knowing who you are andhaving more of the oh, being
inspirational or having thatheart and the passion for people
and for things way beyond justyour service initiative.
(12:56):
You are so much more than justyour service initiative.
So make sure that you areanswering questions directly so
know when to weave in yourinitiative, naturally, and when
you need to be focusing onyourself as a leader and as a
human being.
Next, this is really hardbecause we are human beings and
(13:18):
we react to people's nonverbals.
But do not worry about thejudge's reactions.
There are going to be judges inthat room that may be
consistently non-reactive toevery single contestant that
they are interviewing and theremay be judges that decide
they're going to be the toughjudge.
And there will be judges thatare super nice Maybe they're the
(13:43):
novice judge and they're justsmiling the whole time and
really want to help you feelreally comfortable.
This can be really misleadingif you are worrying about the
judge's reactions, because thebottom line is you do not know
what they are thinking.
I have done all of the above.
I have been the jovial, happyjudge, I have been the tough
(14:03):
judge and I have been kind ofthe stoic, non-reactive judge.
But in each circumstance I'mstill judging internally the
same way, asking the samequestions, scoring still
consistently with what I'mseeing and how you're showing up
.
So when you're worrying abouthow the judges are reacting,
(14:26):
that's going to influence howyou show up.
It's going to make you morenervous and the more nervous
that you get, the more fillerwords you're going to have, the
more you're going to stumbleover what you're saying, the
more you're going to forget whatyou're saying, the more you're
going to worry about what you'resaying and all of those things
are actually just going to leadto a lower score.
There is one particularexperience that I have that I
(14:48):
will never forget.
I was at a national competitioncompeting and I had a judge
that was so hard on me and hejust kept coming back at me,
follow-up question afterfollow-up question on like a
politically-based topic that wewere talking about, something
that was going on within thelegislature in Wisconsin, and I
kept answering directly and I,you know respectfully answered
(15:12):
based off of how I felt aboutthe circumstance, and I walked
out of that interview thinkingthat that judge absolutely hated
me, like truly didn't like me.
He was so tough on me.
Just, I thought he was tough onme in that like his expressions
made it seem like that and theway that he just kept like kind
of being the devil's advocate inthe room on that topic.
(15:35):
But at that particularcompetition, after everything
was said and done, we had thechance to talk to the judges and
now, mind you, I finished as atop five finalist and I tied for
overall interview and I wasfloored because I did not think
that my interview was goodenough for an overall interview
(15:56):
score.
And I spoke with this judge andhe outright said, oh, I
absolutely loved you.
And I was stunned and Iliterally said to him I thought
you hated me.
And he said, oh gosh, no, hesaid I gave you a perfect score.
I thought you were incredible,you stood your ground, you were
respectful about your answers,all these things and I was just.
(16:17):
This was one of the mosteyeopening experiences for me
when it comes to letting go ofwhat we think the judges are
actually thinking.
Show up exactly who you are.
Don't worry about how thejudges are reacting to you.
It could be an act.
They could be nervous.
You just never know whatsomeone else is thinking or what
they're feeling.
You may have a judge in therethat literally doesn't ask a
(16:39):
question the entire time, so youhave no idea where they stand.
The bottom line is it doesn'tmatter, because you can't
control it.
The judges are going to put ascore down based on what they
think and what their experiencewas with you in that room, but
their reaction doesn't dictatewhat their experience was.
So try your best not to readinto it.
Walk out of that roomcelebrating the successes that
(17:00):
you had in that interview, feelgood about what you did, and
then onward and upward.
It doesn't make any sense tosit there and dwell on the
things that you can't control.
You got other things to worryabout.
Interview is done.
You got to go get ready foronstage competition, so let it
go.
Move on onward and upward.
So focus on your energy, theenergy that you're bringing into
(17:20):
the room, not their energy.
Next, do not try and fit a mold.
This is so hard because whenyou want something so badly and
when you're looking atrepresentatives of the title
that you so badly want to wearacross your heart.
It's easy to think that we needto show up a very specific way,
(17:43):
talk a certain way, behave acertain way, but the bottom line
is the judges are not lookingfor any specific type.
They are looking for someonewho owns exactly who they are,
who shows up genuinely,authentically who they are.
The woman that crowned me, missWisconsin, has a completely
(18:05):
different personality than me.
She is amazing, she is outgoing, she is like hyper, like who's
outgoing real, like says what'son her mind is hilarious.
And then there's me who, likeI'm a little more reserved, I am
(18:25):
outgoing to an extent, but notat that level, and I could
easily think that the judgeswouldn't pick me because I'm
nothing like her and she's theoutgoing title holder.
But that's so problematicbecause look at any sequence of
new title holders, year afteryear after year, and how
different they are.
You cannot go into anycompetition thinking they're
looking for the person that theyjust crowned a year ago,
(18:47):
because that's just not the case, anything specific.
So you can't be a specificthing that the judges are
looking for because they're open.
They are wide open to new ideas, to new people, to new
personalities.
It's a blank slate, so the bestthing that you can do is go in
(19:09):
as yourself.
The best title holders do notfit a certain template.
There is no perfect recipe forbeing a title holder.
The best title holder is goingto shape the role around their
own personalities, their ownstrengths, and they're going to
build it off of their ownplatform, their mission, their
(19:30):
purpose, their why.
So try not to go at it from thestandpoint of being what you
think that they want, becausethat's going to make you blend
in and not stand out as apotentially really incredible
title holder.
Don't try and fit the mold.
(19:50):
Mold the title around who youare instead.
That's what it means to show upfearlessly authentic, and if
you're struggling with that, Iwould say the problem may be
that you don't really have aclear idea of exactly who you
are, or maybe you don't trustthat who you are is perfectly
good enough.
So that is something that yougot to work through, whether
(20:13):
that is in therapy or with amindset coach, to really help
you uncover and remember who youare.
Unearth all of the amazingthings of who you are, so that
you can show up in that lightrather than kind of scrambling
to figure out who that is andwhat that looks like or who that
(20:33):
person should be.
That's going to be crowned,because that's just not it.
I can tell you from experiencethat being myself brought me
more joy, better experiences ininterview, less fear and anxiety
and much better feedback fromthe judges and from people that
(20:57):
I met as a title holder as well.
So I know it kind of it'sbecoming cliche to just say like
, be who you are, be authentic,be transparent.
That's hard to do when youdon't know who that is.
So that's the work that youneed to do in your preparation
for interview is really uncover,remember who you are, know who
(21:17):
you are, flaws and all and findthe confidence to show up as
that person.
Next, and I think final, don'tdo an interview is and this is
kind of basic but don't saythese phrases Thank you for that
question.
It's super overused, it'sreally unnatural.
(21:40):
We don't say that inconversations or that's a great
question, the judges do not needyour validation.
It kind of shows that you aretaking time to think about it or
that maybe you are unsure ofthe answer.
And please, this is one of mypet peeves, actually, and it's a
habit.
I know it's a habit, but don'trepeat the question.
(22:02):
It kind of feels like you'restalling and also what it does
is it's going to potentiallylead you into forgetting what
you were even talking about.
I know it kind of seems likethat's not possible because
you're repeating the question.
So how could you forget whatthe question was or what you're
going to talk about?
But when you can just diveright into your response and
(22:22):
answer it head on, it's going tocome across way more fluidly
and less like you have to thinkabout it and that you are like
rehearsed or trying to saysomething perfectly.
So when you're practicing,practicing, practice just
answering the question directlywithout repeating the question,
that's something that I thinkwe're taught to do in school too
(22:43):
, when we're writing essays andstuff is like when you have an
essay response or a writtenresponse on an exam, to kind of
repeat the question in yourfirst sentence, to like lead
into what you're saying as iflike if someone was reading that
without the question prompt,then they know exactly what
you're talking about.
But the judge just asked youthe question, so they reading
that without the question prompt, then they know exactly what
you're talking about.
But the judge just asked youthe question, so they don't need
the question prompt in youranswer.
So don't repeat the question.
(23:04):
So those three things againDon't thank the judges for the
question.
That's not necessary and it'sunnatural.
Don't tell them that that's agreat question because judges
just don't need your validation.
That's a great question becausejudges just don't need your
validation.
I think sometimes it's kind oflike a genuine response of like,
oh my gosh, like I've neverthought of that before and like
(23:25):
I get that.
But again, answering head on isalways the way to go.
And then don't repeat thequestion because it just really
just feels like you're stalling.
It also takes up time from yourinterview when you already have
a very short amount of time toexpress who you are in that
interview.
Don't take up time by repeatingthe question at the beginning
of your answer.
All right, so to recap, all ofthese don'ts, don't try to
(23:50):
control the interview.
It's not something that you doin a conversation and you want
to be natural in interview.
So control, be in control ofyourself, but don't try and
control the interview, Otherwiseit will make you more nervous.
Do not spin every answer intoyour platform or your service
initiative.
Leading the interview in thatway again is going to cause more
(24:11):
nerves.
It's not natural.
It's not actually helping thejudges see who you are, and you
are so much more than just yourplatform.
You win with who you are, notwith what you do.
Don't worry about the judges'reactions, because you'll never
know what they're actuallythinking.
Sometimes judges that areseasoned will put on that face
because they want to be thetough judge and they want to see
how you handle yourself.
(24:32):
So be in control of yourself.
Show up genuine and focus onyour own energy, not their
energy.
Don't try and fit a mold,because the judges aren't
looking for anything inparticular.
They want to see you as yourauthentic, beautiful, lovely
self, the person that's going toshow up every single day in the
job wearing that crown.
(24:52):
And don't say those likeredundant phrases at the
beginning of your answers,thanking them for the question
that's a great question orrepeating the question.
It's stalling.
It's going to get you know youconfused.
It is unnecessary and it takesup time that you could be using
to show the judges who you are.
Even more so if you findyourself doing any of these
(25:13):
habits, or even like overrehearsing or worrying about the
judge's reactions, trying toforce the conversation.
It's definitely something thatis taught, it's learned.
It's something that we do askind of a stress response, as a
trying to like control asituation that we really don't
have any control over.
But you can unlearn them, youcan shift into having a way more
(25:35):
conversational, into having away more conversational, real,
raw, authentic interview if youhave the right strategies.
So that is exactly why I wantyou to join the March
Masterclass that I'm hosting onInterview Skills.
I'm hosting it on Tuesday,march 25th, from 7 to 8 pm,
central Time.
Sign up, it's free.
(25:56):
It's just going to be that hourof me going over all of the
techniques, the structure ofinterviews, on how to have
compelling answers that feelreally natural and not rehearsed
, how to control your nerves andstay composed under the
pressure that you're in in thatinterview.
I'm going to be teaching youall of these tools and skills
(26:17):
that I teach my clients, that Iused when I was competing, the
skills and tools that led me tooverall interview wins, to
winning titles that that Ialways dreamt of.
It's also like the things thatI forgot to do at Miss America
that led me to like having aterrible interview experience
for myself, and I just don'twant any of you to have any of
(26:38):
those experiences.
These skills and tools andtechniques that I'll be talking
about on Tuesday are lifechanging.
I know because my clients havecompletely overhauled their
interviews and had incredibleexperiences with these
techniques, have won overallinterviews and non-finalist
interviews and won their titles.
(26:59):
So it's definitely a masterclassthat you don't want to miss.
So this is for you.
If you want to elevate yourinterview, if you want to leave
a lasting impression, if youwant to walk out of interview
feeling really good, feelingcontent, not even like amazing.
You don't have to feel amazing,like best interview ever, just
walking out feeling like I didwhat I came to do.
I'm good with this and now it'stime to move onward and upward.
(27:21):
So if you've ever leftinterview instead thinking I
could have said that better,then you definitely need to sign
up for this class.
The link is going to be in theshow notes.
If you can't make it live, I amgoing to send the recording
later, so definitely sign up.
It's a good one.
Of all of my monthlymasterclasses, I would say this
is probably the best one to signup for at this stage of the
(27:43):
game, especially if you arepreparing for upcoming
competitions this spring.
All right, y'all, I hope youfound this helpful.
Message me, let me know if youdid find this helpful, or if you
have any questions related toany of these things that we want
to try avoiding in interview,or if you have a different
perspective.
(28:04):
I'm definitely open to hearingother ideas and perspectives on
approaches to interview andwhat's worked for you and what
hasn't worked for you in thepast as well.
So reach out.
I'd love to hear from you andwith that, I will talk to you
again next week.
Take care of yourselves.
Happy spring, bye.
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