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November 3, 2025 51 mins

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Where women’s health and politics collide. 💥

This week, I’m sitting down with one of my absolute favorite TikTokers and women’s health advocates — Victoria Kerby, founder of Victoria Kerby Wellness, LLC
and Co-host of the Faded to Fabulous podcast. With over 35,000 followers on TikTok, Victoria is changing the conversation around menopause, perimenopause, and holistic health—one real, raw talk at a time.

In this episode, we dive deep into what it means to navigate womanhood in today’s political climate, how wellness is being weaponized, and why every woman deserves autonomy over her own body. It’s powerful, it’s personal, and it’s everything we’ve been needing to say out loud.

Follow Victoria Kerby:

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🌐 Victoria’s Website: victoriakerbywellnessllc.com

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 🌐 ChristiChanelle.com


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Next on Mindf*ck Monday | November 10, 2025
The Monday Breakdown
I’ll be back next Monday with my latest take on the political environment — the headlines you didn’t ask for but damn well need to know. Because the news should come with a trigger warning.

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This content may include satirical commentary, altered media, or opinion-based analysis intended for educational, entertainment, or advocacy purposes. Any video clips, images, or quotes that have been edited or recreated are clearly intended as political or cultural critique—not factual representations. Viewer discretion and independent research are encouraged.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Twenty-five percent of women think about leaving
their careers menopause and tenpercent do.

SPEAKER_02 (00:04):
It's a big deal.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
I am dusting off the headphonestoday.
I haven't done an interview in avery long time.
But today, I'm willing to dothat for somebody who's really
special.
You know when somebody shows uponline and immediately makes you
feel seen?
That's Victoria Kirby.
She's a holistic wellnesspractitioner specializing in

(00:26):
menopause and perimenopause.
And she's built a community ofover 35,000 women on TikTok who
trust her to bring clarity,humor, and healing to one of the
most misunderstood chapters ofour lives.
But this conversation, this onegoes deeper because the truth is
women aren't just dealing withhot flashes.

(00:47):
We're dealing with heat fromevery freaking direction.
From the political atmosphere tothe legislation that directly
impacts our bodies.
It's no wonder so many women arecarrying quiet fear right now.
Today, like I said, we'redusting off the headphones
because this conversationmatters.
We're gonna talk about what'shappening inside our bodies,

(01:08):
what's happening to our rights,and how we can take our power
back.
One conversation, oneconnection, one truth at a time.
She's got a podcast, and she'sleading a wellness revolution
for women everywhere.
So buckle up because thisbeautiful human, Victoria Kirby,

(01:28):
is on Sassy Politics today.
Let's do it.
I'm Christy Chanel, and this isSassy Politics.

SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
Well, it's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
You are beautiful.
I wish I was there with you.
I would give you a giant hug.
Oh, I would give you a hug too.

SPEAKER_02 (01:52):
I I hopefully one day you never know.
Yeah, I will say this.
I met Victoria on TikTok.
So it is possible to meet reallycool people and have a fantastic
community around you.
And this is proof right here.
So I'm gonna introduce you toVictoria.
I'm gonna let her do it becausenobody can explain her better

(02:13):
than herself.

SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
So let's do it.
All right.
So um I'm a family nursepractitioner.
I've been practicing for uh 26years.
I did family practice medicinefor a long time, kind of
transitioned into integrativemedicine, started my own
practice in 2018, and thenreally kind of um my entire

(02:35):
practice at this point ishormones, perimenopause, and
menopause care for women inmidlife.
Um, married, second and final.
Yeah.
This is it.
This is the last.
We're done.
Yeah, we're done.
Um, and I have two girls who are19 and 22.
Um, sorry, a dog who's in theroom with me because he has

(02:58):
anxiety and is neurotic withoutme.
Yeah.
Uh I'm really thick into thesandwich generation right now.
I have a mother who I am the POAfor with Alzheimer's, who's in
memory care.
So I definitely feel like thathelps me relate to the women I'm

(03:18):
taking care of because there'sjust it adds like a lot to this
season of life.

SPEAKER_02 (03:24):
Can I ask you uh for the people that don't know,
including myself, you saidsandwich community?
Sandwich generation.

SPEAKER_01 (03:31):
So generation, okay.
What is that?
So this is a term that we'reusing to describe women in
midlife or you know, people inmidlife who are still, you know,
parenting, because again, evenif our kids are kind of out of
the house, they're they're kindof like practicing adults,
they're getting used to it, sothey still need us.

(03:51):
And um, some of us who hadchildren older are still in the
throes of parenting while alsonow caring for your aging
parents in some capacity.

SPEAKER_00 (04:01):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (04:01):
Yeah.
And so going, being there in thesame season that you're also in,
let's say, menopause and um, youknow, is is a lot.
Um, but I think that's kind ofdescribes my life.
I'm also in the throes of my ownmenopause.
Thank you for my patch.
And um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (04:20):
So that's kind of a bit about me.
So I'm going to be verytransparent with you.
And I don't know hardly anythingabout it.
And I'm in it.
So, so this is gonna I I'm theone that you're like, oh my God.
I got you.
What are you doing?
That's me.
Okay.
And I will be the first to admitit, but I will tell you for

(04:40):
myself.
Well, first I want to say howamazing that you have two
daughters and you're able toeducate them and all the things
that I think people like myselfand other people don't know
about.
Um, so they're very lucky tohave you.
Uh, I wish I had somebody thatwas explaining to me, but my mom
passed away at 45.
So I never really got to learn alot about what happens

(05:02):
afterwards.
I am in menopause.
I have haven't had a period.
This October will be two years.
Okay.
Yeah, you're you'repost-menopausal.
Yeah.
And for me, I didn't really havea lot of symptoms.
I did have frozen shoulder, uh,which did impact me.
And of course, at the time, Ididn't know anything.

(05:23):
I was afraid because I had hadneck surgery in my in my neck,
and I thought it was connectedto that.
So I had all of these x-raysdone.
And he said, Well, you're eitherdiabetic or and he never said
anything about menopause.
So it was my own research thatfigured it out, and people my
age actually having frozenshoulder.

(05:46):
Um, maybe you can tell me alittle bit about what that's all
about.

SPEAKER_01 (05:50):
Yeah.
So um, I'll just dive in.
I'll give kind of like a generallike um in case people I think
people are becoming more awarebecause we have things like
podcasts and social media.
Um, but menopause is literally aday.
So it's 12 months without aperiod.
After that, you'repostmenopausal for the rest of
time.

(06:10):
That seven to 10 year windowbefore that is perimenopause.
And I think that we're startingto talk about this more, but
that is really a tough season.
And so unfortunately, beforenow, we really weren't
recognizing this.
And so women would come in,right?
So women in their late 30s, evenlate 30s, 40s, you know, um,

(06:35):
they go in because they'reanxious, right?
So they're like, I'm anxious, orI can't sleep.
Um, I hate people, I'mirritable, I can't stand myself,
right?
Big one.
Um, I don't feel like myself.
I'm tired.
I'm gaining weight.
I have no idea why, because I'mdoing all the same things that
I've always done.
I could never have sex again, betotally happy.

(06:56):
P.S.
My shoulder hurts.
And I think I have Alzheimer'sbecause I can't remember
anything, right?
And so they keep go, women keepgoing in to access care and say,
I'm having all these things.
And really what they're beingtold is, you know, it's well,
anxiety, here's something foryour anxiety.
Let's send you to PT for yourfrozen shoulder, right?

(07:17):
If this this is just the seasonof life, you're just a busy mom.
So a lot of like it'sinadvertent gaslighting, right?
Because it's it's people inprimary care medicine and
gynecology are doing the bestwith what information they have
in a system where they hadvirtual, virtually zero training
about perimenopause andmenopause.

(07:38):
So that's kind of like whatwe're seeing.
And and the reason, Chrissy,that people are this is
happening for women is becausein perimenopause, you're having
drops in your progesterone, yourtestosterone leaves the
building, and your estrogen iswild.
So it's a it's a it's seven toten years of a woman's life.
And some women can say, youknow, uh we talk about hot

(08:01):
flashes, right?
Because you think you youpicture in menopause like women
throwing their clothes off, andthat's what it is.
I can't tell you how few womenactually come to see me for hot
flashes.
So really, yes, it's it's notthe presenting symptom.
It's it's weight, it's it'slibido, it's I don't biggest
thing, and this is this isreally tough.

(08:22):
Non-specific, I don't feel likemyself.
And I hear this one, it it'sheartbreaking because this is
when women will cry in my officebecause you know it, they're
like, I just don't enjoy things,I don't have the motivation for
things, like I I don't, I don'thave my spark.
And that is something that we'renot talking about enough, but

(08:44):
it's so impactful on women'slives.

SPEAKER_02 (08:47):
I I would say for me, um, I didn't know I was I
was there, I had no idea that Iwas there, but I can tell you,
looking back, I do see the signsthat you're talking about.
And for me, I was with a job for10 years.
I loved it.
They were like family.
And then this is before I myperiod had stopped.

(09:07):
I decided, I started weighingthe options here and saying, I'm
not happy.
I'm I'm more unhappy than I amhappy.
And I left that job and went anddid something totally different
in the same field, but a wholenew company.
And I and now I looking back,I'm like, I think that was me
just not being happy and needingsomething different.
But it was pivotal in my life.

SPEAKER_01 (09:29):
So 25% of women think about leaving their
careers in menopause, and 10%do.
It's a big deal.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (09:37):
Wow.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Okay.
Not only because of that, likeI'm just not happy with this,
because I think midlife puts usin a position anyway to kind of
reevaluate, like, what am Idoing?
You know, what's my purpose,that kind of thing.
But when you're in a really highpower career and you're giving a
presentation and you um youliterally your mind goes blank

(09:59):
and you don't remember whatyou're gonna say, I mean, that's
that's tough.

SPEAKER_02 (10:03):
I still don't really know.
I haven't gone and done anyhormone.
I haven't done anything.
Um, and and I probably have afew symptoms, but I think it's
more with memory than than howI'm feeling.
I think I feel okay.
Um, and and I wanted to ask you,does that have anything to do
with intermittent fasting?
Is there a connection there?
Because I have been doing thatfor years.

SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
Yep.
I'm gonna tell you the bad newsabout that.
So I know I'm not ananti-anything, like whatever
somebody's doing that works forthem.
And I think that in the 20s and30s and the 40s, even, there's
something to be said.
And I do believe that there's alot to be said for overnight
rest.
You know what I mean?
And not and having a break, andyou know, um, but really what

(10:48):
we're looking at is it's morecre especially if it's a long
fast, we're creating more stresson the body.
Um, and more stress is whatcortisol, sleep disruption, and
then you're talking aboutinsulin resistance.
So it's it can be there's somepeople that swear by it.
I never yuck anybody's yum.
Um but at the same time, like Ithink I have a lot of women who

(11:10):
come to me and say, I'm doingthis and it used to work for me
and it doesn't.
One of the things that I talk towomen a ton about is what we did
at 20 and 30 goes literally outthe window once we hit midlife.
And so it's like where before itwas eat less, move more, I'm
gonna do this weird fad diet,I'm gonna do, you know, whatever
it might be, I'm gonna kill itat the gym, can dig you into a

(11:32):
hole.
Like if I had to give somebodylike the little here's your care
package for menopause, protein,heavy lifting, restorative
activity, prioritizing sleep,nourishing your body.
Because a lot of us gen X, let'sbe real, we spent our whole
lives trying to be in smallerbodies.
Like that was the ultimate goal.

SPEAKER_02 (11:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
And I try to encourage women to really shift
into a mindset of strongerbodies, healthy bodies, because
women, if you go go look at anursing home, we live longer,
but we don't live healthier.

SPEAKER_02 (12:01):
I'm trying to do that.
I know it's true becauseosteoporosis and all the things
that are gonna happen or couldhappen.
Right.
Um I I'm not being proactive andI definitely, you know, probably
need this, needed this episodemore than you realized.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (12:18):
Um, I actually, so a couple of years ago when I was
getting excited and relearningeverything because I treated
menopause in the 90s, and thenfast, you know, 2002, I called
my patients and said, Oh mygosh, you gotta stop.
These hormones are dangerous.
And then now, you know, I I hadto relearn.
And and the way we're doingmenopause care is radically
different.
So I had a full year of prettysignificant learning about

(12:40):
menopause before I feltconfident to add it into my
practice.
So in the meantime, I was veryfortunate to pair up with my
friend Kim, lovely.
She's lovely, and she's adietitian and a life coach.
And we created a bunch ofprograms together for women in
menopause so we could, you know,get the word out.
We do a we do a podcast, um,whatever it might be.

(13:01):
Yeah.
We need to get back to that.
We are circling back to that.
It's been really fun.
But it's um, it's really we bothhave that.
We say it in probably everyepisode or when we meet with
women, strength training becomesnon-negotiable.
It and I will tell you, so sheis a fitness freak.
Like she is like, I've alwaysloved exercise.

(13:22):
And I enjoy, I used to run, I domore walking yoga, but I hate I
hate strength training.
I hate it, but it's the thingthat I have to force myself to
do.
So it's just figuring out, likefor you, if you don't love it,
what could you have it stack itwith?
Like, for example, could youfind a girlfriend who you want

(13:43):
to do it with?
So then at least you're gettinglike some joy out of that time.
Or like in my case, I found agym that's all women.
It's solely focused on strengthtraining.
So then somebody tells me whatto do.
I I need somebody to tell mewhat to do.
It's just not I'm the same.
I'm the same.

SPEAKER_02 (13:59):
An accountability partner really helps the whole
process.
Um, for me, I grew up dancing,so I love to dance, not
necessarily strength train.
So my son put on the Apple TVfor me, and it has like this
fit, it's hip-hop, but I couldput something on my my ankles,
right?
And make that whole thing work.
So I think my daughter's gonnado it with me just to kind of

(14:20):
bring back the the I I needmusic.
I think that's what it's allabout for me, is the rhythm and
the music.
So I will try to figure thatout.
I don't know.
Okay, you have a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
So how did the how did this whole thing start?
Okay, so Kim Luckley and I umcreated something called we we
got really excited because wewere sharing office space and
we're sharing the same patients,and we're literally sitting down
every day at lunch and going,um, we're seeing the same
patients and they're not gettingbetter.
And this really was whatprompted us to dive into you

(14:52):
know, menopause care.
So we decided that we would kindof put together uh a program.
So we created something calledFaded a Fabulous, and um it was
a really comprehensive likeonline modules about nutrition
and menopause, movement, stressmanagement, like everything we
interviewed um providers thatwere like pelvic floor PT.

(15:15):
So we kind of made it like ateam approach and then basically
kind of helped women so that ifit wasn't somebody that could
come see me in New Hampshire, ifit's somebody who's in another
state that I can't help, likehelp them access care because
access to menopause care isreally the pits right now.
It will get better over time.
So we created Faded Fabulous.

(15:36):
Um, we ended up doing a lot oflike we would go and do free
talks for women and things likethat.
I'd still do it.
I love it.
Kim was the one who was pushingon the podcast.
She's like, this would be reallyfun.
Yeah.
And so it is it's been a blast.
I think we've actually done 11episodes.
We've only put out six, butthey're 15 minutes.
So it just is kind of focusingon whatever topic, you know, and

(15:59):
it's it's yeah, it's been reallyfun.

SPEAKER_02 (16:01):
I've been doing this for about two years now, and I I
love it.
I think uh it gives me anoutlet.
I actually used it and workedthrough a lot of trauma.
I didn't start in politics, Istarted kind of in mental
health, not that I'm an expert,but just that I had a lot to get
out to get off my mind.
Um, and when I did that, Istarted to really work through

(16:21):
it.
It was it was absolutely amazingfor me.
I feel like I'm a healed person.
Um, I've gone through a lot inmy life, you know, losing my
mom.
And ironically, this ties inbecause you do holistic, right?
And my mom actually passed awaybecause of she have she was
diagnosed with bipolar.
And uh her fill-in doctorprescribed her medicine that

(16:44):
mixed with her medicine and itkilled her.
It stopped the heart.

SPEAKER_01 (16:47):
Oh my god, Christy, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 (16:49):
Yeah, thank you.
Um, and and so kind of a lot ofwhat I what I pull from is the
feeling of you know, big pharmaand and all the ties there and
how there is an alternative towhat they're trying to sell you,
uh, the greed and everythingassociated with it.
Unfortunately, you mention thatand you get strikes and ban

(17:12):
warnings.
And so I couldn't stay there andactually get the message out.
But that's where I started.

SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Um so when I say holistic health, so the the what
I like about like kind of myindividual practices, I come
with years in traditionalmedicine.
So I had the background of it.
Um I think if I look at like mysort of practice, I holistic
means whole person.
And it and it and I think thatmedicine right now, I don't

(17:39):
think there's people are notgonna ban this statement.
Everybody knows it, butmedicine's a mess.
Like traditional system is amess.
Um, and it's not because youdon't have wonderful providers,
it's because all of the systemsthat are in place.
So the traditional medicinemodel in particular, they have
very limited time traditionallyto see you.
It's very focused on problems.

(18:01):
So a lot of times it's like, oh,you have again to go back to the
perimenopausal woman, you haveum anxiety, here's your anxiety
medicine, you know, you haveinsomnia, here's something for
sleep.
Oh, your shoulder hurts, here'san anti-inflammatory.
Where I think if you if you'redoing more holistic-based
practice, you're kind oflooking, going, what's causing

(18:22):
all these things in the firstplace?
Right.
And with menopause, and you'relooking at its absence of
hormones.
Like, you know, even thoughthere's tons of people kind of
grifting and saying, um, youknow, oh, take this probiotic,
it'll fix your menopause orwhatever.
No, it won't.
Uh it's just really expensive.
Um, but yeah, so there's, Imean, there's there's flaws.

(18:45):
You need you need thetraditional model as well.
But I think that um anybodywho's really doing
evidence-based menopause caretoday for women is again mostly
utilizing FDA approved hormones,but we're using body-identical
hormones, meaning they're thesame chemical structure as the

(19:06):
hormones we have in our body.
So that's what you want to kindof look at and look for when
you're um looking for aprovider.
So you were talking earlierabout how your menopause was
kind of a breeze.
Menopause, um when we're lookingat options, right, or we're
thinking about a why, what Iencourage, like so I always say

(19:26):
not every woman is a candidatefor hormones, not every woman
wants hormones, but every womandeserves to have a conversation
about it.

SPEAKER_00 (19:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (19:34):
And if if a woman's considering it, it's I I always
encourage them, because uhobviously if they're coming to
see me, there's a problem,right?
There's typically they'rethey're seeing me because
they're like, oh my gosh,whether it's the weight gain,
the hot flashes, the low libido,all the things.
They want to do take somethingthat's gonna make them feel
better now, right?
But I I always challenge womento think about again hormone

(19:56):
therapy in terms of yourlong-term health.
So what we know is that women onhormone therapy have a decreased
incidence of fractures, right?
So osteoporosis, heart disease,diabetes, uh Alzheimer.
So we we've got lots of reasonsto do hormones beyond, right?

(20:18):
Um, just that I don't feel sowell.
So for disease prevention, Ithat's where I really, you know,
I I my goal is for every womanto be 80 years old, playing
pickleball, having sex, likedoing the things, you know what
I mean, being vibrant, you know.

SPEAKER_02 (20:34):
Yeah.
I I I think right now, I thinkone of my biggest things is
sleep for some reason.
I never had a problem.
I was the one that had two alarmclocks because I couldn't get
up.
And now I'm really it's hard forme to sleep.
If something's on my mind, it'seven harder.
But uh it's not I moved, I'mthinking, oh, maybe it's because

(20:55):
I moved and I always sleep onthe right side and my bed's
weird, so I'm on the left sidenow.
But I think it might be moreabout what you're saying.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (21:02):
It definitely uh in earlier uh perimenopause, a lot
of times it's low progesterone,and then um low estrogen kicks.
And so a lot of timesprogesterone's like that
anxiety, I can't get to sleep,and a lot of times with
estrogen, it's like that two tothree a.m.
wake up.

SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
You know, thinking you need a checkup.
I have friends in the past thathave told me that they went and
they got uh a testosterone thatI don't know what it is, they
put it in their back orsomething.
Pellet.
I I a pellet, yeah.
Yeah, and they were really happywith it, but I was like, I don't
want to put a pellet in my back.

SPEAKER_01 (21:37):
Um desire.
Yeah.
So you know how I said I don'tyuck anybody's yum?
That this is the one.
I'm gonna yuck that yum.
Yeah, so I'll uh and I'll justgive you my two cents on it.
Sure.
Um I that exists for a reasonbecause for 20 years we stopped
treating menopause and stoppedlearning virtually anything
about menopause.

(21:58):
In desperation, women are like,I need help.
Well, uh here come the med spasoffering pellets.
So realistically, what that isis they're pellets that you
actually have surgically umimplanted into your buttock with
hormones in them.
And typically testosterone isthe the big one.

(22:18):
And women feel great, they haveso much sex drive and energy and
everything is wonderful.
And then they don't.
And now they've spent thousandsof dollars right over the course
of months to do this.
If you hate it, you can't takeit out, it's not FDA approved.
The women who are doing thewomen who are doing hormone

(22:42):
therapy, their training is bythe company that creates the
pellets.
So it typically.
And so I'm not a fan.
Also, you can get because we'regiving you such enormous doses
of hormones, you can get anenlarged clitoris, you can get
um deepening of your voice, chinhair.
Yeah.

(23:02):
So for me, wow, for me, that'sone that's a no.

SPEAKER_02 (23:06):
That's a no for me, too.
Oh wow, I had no idea.
I had two friends of mine thatdid it and they were just so
happy, but I couldn't afford it.
So I was like, I'm gonna stayaway from it, which I guess was
a blessing in disguise.

SPEAKER_01 (23:18):
7% of providers feel comfortable managing menopause.
So again, accessing care, youwant to be careful because when
there's such a need and womenare really desperate and you
have a system, you're gonna havepeople come out of the woodwork
who are not necessarily doingthe right thing.
So I always tell women, ifyou're looking, you look for
somebody who's menopause societycertified.

(23:39):
Or even better, which because II did menopause society
certification and it was great,and I learned a lot about women
in midlife and general things.
I didn't get as much, I didn'tget what I needed for being a
prescriber of hormones, the insand out nuances.
So Heather Hirsch MD, which ifyou've ever seen any of her

(23:59):
content on TikTok, she is aninternist and has been doing
menopause care for 10 yearsbefore any of us were talking
about it.
And she is amazing and created aprovider course.
So I did her coursework.
I took coursework under KellyKasperson, who's um amazing.
She wrote the book You're notbroken.

(24:20):
She's a urologist and talks alot about testosterone and
women's health.
Um, so we've got some good likepioneers in there.
But that would be Heather Hirschhas a directory for clinicians
who've taken her course.
So that's what you want to kindof look at.
And and you can ask questions ofan office ahead of time to make
sure you're not gonna leavefrustrated.
Like, does this person usecompounded?

(24:42):
Do they use FDA approved?
Like you're gonna want to findsomebody who's a fit for you.

SPEAKER_02 (24:47):
You know, I think that a lot of women they don't
want to age.
And because they don't want toage, they don't want to talk
about it.
It's embarrassing.
It's like, I'm not youthfulanymore.
I don't have that.
The more we can break the stigmaand talk about it, the better
off we are.
I mean, it's only gonna help usto make it okay to talk about
it.

SPEAKER_01 (25:06):
Yeah, it's happening.
If you live long enough, we'reall going to get older, right?
And so, yeah, we should betalking about it.
Our mother's generation, youknow, you had mentioned your mom
and said, you know, she wasn'table to talk to you about
menopause.
There's a good chance that shewouldn't have anyway.
Because I can tell you that thatgeneration, a lot of people in
our generation will say the samething.

(25:27):
My mother never told me aboutthis.
Or even funnier, one person saidto me, Her mother said, Oh no, I
didn't have menopause.
I'm like, No, you did.

SPEAKER_02 (25:35):
Like, um, so I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_01 (25:37):
Yeah, or or some of our mothers will be like, Oh, I
uh my menopause was fine.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
And you're like, Do you rememberhow unhinged you were for a few
years?
Like, you were not fine, youknow?

SPEAKER_02 (25:49):
Yeah.
And I I didn't have, I wasn'twith anyone at the time.
Uh, so you know, my kids had toendure that I didn't even
realize.
And so they're probably like,mommy's not psycho anymore.
Yay, mommy's left crazy.
Hooray.
So there's a chance for us.
We're not gonna get that trait.
Um, so how did how do you feelwith the political climate uh

(26:13):
right now for women?
I'm as you know, that's myrealm.
And I am terrified of what'scoming for us.
Uh so just in the climate,because you actually work in it,
what do you think is coming forus?

SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
So I will share, um, and I am in a place of
privilege.
I will admit that that I have aprivate practice.
I don't have to worry aboutsomebody firing me for saying my
beliefs.
And I'm I'm, as you know onTikTok, pretty outspoken about
that.
Um so I cried in 2016 on the daythat of the election, election

(26:55):
results, I was devastated.
Um, and I was called dramatic.
And my fear having two daughtersand being somebody who loves
women was that we were gonnahave Robbie Wade overturned.
And I was told I was sodramatic.
And and yet here we are.
And so that's that's one piece.
So we'll start with that.
Like the abortion piece, and I Idid get vocal this year about

(27:19):
that on Facebook, which is justdangerous land, right?
That's hard.
Yeah.
And um, a bunch of some peoplecame at me, um, you know,
Christian, like, how could you?
And what I had to explain was asa healthcare provider, what I
want everybody to understand isthat abortion is health care.

(27:40):
Women who are having an ectopicpregnancy or a miscarriage
that's incomplete require anabortion.
Okay, it's termination, right?
Um, and because there isn't amedical, there is no medical
code for miscarriage, it's it'suh called an abortion.

(28:00):
So when we I didn't know that.
Absolutely.
So when you say this is why wehave women in places like Texas
who go in with their rupturedectopic and can't get care,
because if they've outlawedabortion care, those physicians
are like, and the hospitalsaren't gonna let the physicians
do anything, even if they wantedto go against that.
So uh my fear is enormous forwomen.

(28:25):
Uh so that's one piece, right?
The the abortion care.
But health care.

SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
Can I jump in on that?
Even I I think it even scares mefurther because I'm worried that
they want our health records.
Okay.
They want to see what's goingon.
They want us to be able to takea pregnancy test before we get
on an airplane.
And I'm in Texas, so I see whatexactly is happening here, and I
am terrified for the females.
I'm terrified for my daughterwho is 23.

(28:51):
I'm I am extremely vocal aboutit.
And there have already beendocumented deaths on this.
And nobody is freaking out.
I don't understand.
Like, I how do they not put thecorrelation and all the stuff
together to know that it couldbe you or your child because
they're cult?

SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
I I mean, do you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's it's all about like thefetus, the fetus, the fetus.
Um, and I'm not saying that's awrong stance for somebody to be
pro-life, but when it becomes sohyper fixated on that it's easy
enough to look away until it'syou, right?

(29:32):
Because wasn't it in Floridathat um I'm not I'm gonna
butcher this.
It was in Florida.
It was um, I don't know if shewas a senator, uh, she voted for
this, right?
And then but her but had anatopic pregnancy and had to get
an exemption and got anexemption, right?

(29:54):
Yeah.
So yeah, that's that's a scaryplace like reproductive health.
Um but For me, I'm a kind of abig picture person.
And I've been, ever sinceanybody even mentioned things
like Project 2025, I have beenterrified.
Like the whole let's get back towomen in the kitchen, let's make

(30:17):
more babies in this country, RFKtalking about teenage boy sperm
counts.
We have that aspect.
Don't even, I know, like who'stesting teenage boy sperm
counts?
And why are we talking aboutthat?
And then you have, you know, nowwe're gonna defund Medicaid and

(30:39):
Planned Parenthood.
Like, what is gonna happen towomen in this country?
And I'm getting really tooheated.
I should probably take that.
No, no, I I want you to getheated.
Honestly, honestly, we need tobe more heated.
I know, I know.
We need to be more worked up.
And then, you know, if they'resaying things like birth control
won't be covered or any of thosethings, birth control is more

(30:59):
than just birth control.
Hormones are used for PCOS andendometriosis.
And so I just and and peoplewill say, can you know, that's
again, they're gonna say that'sbeing dramatic.
These things are not gonnahappen, but so much has
happened, and we need to look atthat.
The story I wanted to share withyou because I thought you would

(31:20):
really be blown away by this.
I use progesterone commonly inmenopause hormon therapy, like
it is generic and superinexpensive, right?
I got a prior authorization.
I've had two prior authorizationrequests for progesterone.
Like, what?
It's generic, it's inexpensive.
Why am I getting a priorauthorization?
Coincidentally, both of thesepeople were government

(31:42):
employees.
So I'm prior authors are a pain.
You gotta call, you gotta talkto somebody who doesn't know
what they're talking about andanswer some questions.
So I'm like, I'm gonna do thisanyway because I want to know
what this is.
The two questions they asked meis this patient seeking
gender-affirming care?

(32:03):
And was this patient bornfemale?
So this is happening.

SPEAKER_02 (32:10):
First of all, it's none of your fucking business.
Amen.

SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Okay.
Yes, I was very, um, I wasn'tvery friendly.

SPEAKER_02 (32:15):
No, I bet you weren't.
But I think also you uh you gotit right in your face.
Like, no, this isn't whathearsay.
It's it's happening in in yourown industry.
It's unbelievable.
I have heard that there are someuh and I'm gonna butcher this.
Uh, there are some medicationsthat are used to for like uh

(32:36):
giving yourself an abortion thatthat are also used for cancer uh
related things.
And so they're trying to stopthat from coming into America
because they're tying ittogether with that.
Again, don't have the specificdetails.
I can probably put it in theepisode.

SPEAKER_01 (32:53):
Um yeah, yeah, they're looking to because it
again, anything that can beabortion related.
Um, but also the woman who hasthe ectopic pregnancy early
enough along can do a medicalabortion versus having to do a
procedure without that access.
I'm I'm just scared overall.
And again, if they do come afterlike birth control or it's not

(33:16):
considered care, um, you know,and you get take away Planned
Parenthood at a time when we arefacing significant increases
potentially in healthcarepremiums that people will not be
able to afford.
We're gonna have a whole bunchof uninsured people who don't
have access to Medicaid, who aregonna have in unintentional

(33:38):
pregnancies.
And I don't understand what thepush is for more babies in this
country because we cannot takecare of what we have now.

SPEAKER_02 (33:47):
I have my own theory on that.
And uh it may be controversial,but I believe that it's because
the white person, the whitemale, is starting to be
overtaken by other ethnic groupsand by a certain time frame, it
will happen.
So therefore, they're trying toreduce that to have more white

(34:07):
babies.
Unfortunately, I think that'swhat's happening.
And there's a lot of proof thatties that all together: white
supremacy, all the things thatare happening in our government,
project 2025.
It all ties to that.
Unfortunately, that's they wantus home barefoot and pregnant,
and no access to anything elsebut being a mother in the

(34:28):
kitchen with your child.

SPEAKER_01 (34:29):
And you know, uh, one of the things that did make
me sad too is that, you know,with this administration, uh,
there's a lot.
The um I was getting, as beforethis election, I was getting
really excited about the risingup of excitement around women's
health.
And like women are finallyrealizing we weren't using women

(34:51):
in medical studies until the90s.
Everything was men, yeah.
So it's it's bad, but we'rerecognizing how stupid that like
we're not men, we're totallydifferent beings here, and so um
there was getting to be a lot ofexcitement around doing more
women's health um, you know,research.

(35:11):
Well, now what are we doing withresearch?
And then they're stopping IH, CD C like we're gonna, it's gonna
take so long to recover from thedamage that's been done that
that will again set back umwomen's health because you know,
uh we need to be practicingevidence-based medicine.
And when you get into the worldof like menopause care, like

(35:34):
there's you know, uh there needsto be more data to to show
effectiveness of hormones andeven like things like
testosterone.
It's not FDA approved in thiscountry for women.
It can be a beautiful part ofmenopause care.
But, you know, it's I don'tknow.
Anyway, yeah, I could go on andon for days and days about
what's happening and how itimpacts women's health.

SPEAKER_02 (35:56):
Yeah, I think one of my questions would be uh looking
at the overall aerial picture ofwhat's happening in the world,
well, specifically the UnitedStates, uh what do you think?
Just as an observer, why do youthink they're doing what they're
doing?
Do you have any opinion on that?
Because I'll give you mine.
I I feel like they are purposelymaking us panicked and fearful.

(36:22):
And you know, with the snapbenefits being taken away
tomorrow, if if it doesn't openback up, tomorrow it happens,
the the 27th of October, becausewe're gonna have this air later.
Um people without food, like I Iwatched a video the other day of
a mom and she said with snapbenefits, she chooses to go to

(36:45):
sleep early because then shewon't feel her stomach rumbling.
And and now they're gonna takethat away from her and and the
panic that everybody is feelingright now.
I I I'm a single mom.
I understand what it's like toto have to live paycheck to
paycheck.
I understand it with every partof my being.

(37:07):
And and I can't, I I've neverbeen on Snap, but I can't
imagine if that was my lifeline.
How I talk about no sleep.

SPEAKER_01 (37:17):
It's cruelty.
It's cruelty.
Um it's entitlement and cruelty.
It's people um, you know, lookat him or her.
She needs this, I don't needthis.
And I made a post about thisyesterday.
We are all one problem away frompossibly needing assistance.

(37:38):
Like that's the truth.
I try to not see those videos ofpeople disparaging anybody who's
on assistance because it justgrosses me out.
And I do believe and I thinkthat it's it's put in your face
to elicit a response when Ibelieve that there's more people
like you and I in the world whocare about hungry children.

(37:58):
I hope that um we all cometogether and do what we can to
feed people.

SPEAKER_02 (38:04):
As you know, I said before, I'm in Texas, so a lot
of my family falls into thatcategory.
Like I have to like I w I watchthe Dallas Cowboys.
It's one of my favorite footballgames.
It's on today, actually.
Um, and I I've alwaystraditionally watched it with my
dad.
I would go over there and I'dwatch the game with my dad.
And a couple of weeks ago, I goover there, not even calling.

(38:27):
I'm like, I just go over thereto watch it.
And the whole family is sittingaround the TV watching the
Charlie Kirk memorial.
And I I didn't even know how toreact.
So I'm like, I'm gonna go in thebedroom, even though I came to
hang out with dad.
I'm gonna go in there by myselfand watch the game.
So I go in there, my dad comesin, and he's like, Don't you

(38:50):
don't you know who he is?
And I went, yeah, he's apodcaster, like I am.
Like, what's the difference,truly?
And uh he's like, he loved hiscountry, he loved God.
And I'm like, where am I?
I'm in the freaking TwilightZone right now.
Like I literally was like, I'mout of here.
I had to leave.
And I love my dad.

(39:10):
And I know that inside he's agood guy, but he has Fox News on
24-7.

SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
Uh, it's uh yeah.
Um, I love I love people whofollow Christ and love Christ,
right?
Like um, and we have you knowfamily members who are
Christian.
Um what's happen this the theabsolute disconnect between what
Jesus would do if he was hereand what's actually happening in

(39:38):
this country is alarming.
And I don't know how people canactually still believe that
that's what they're doing whenthey're doing very
anti-Christ-like things in nottaking care of the poor, the all
the things.
We can get into it all day.
It's tough when you family, umyou know I'm a strange.
I think if you didn't know this,I'm estranged from my dad and

(39:59):
have been since 20 2016.
Um I didn't know that since theelection.
So um so you get it.

SPEAKER_02 (40:06):
You totally get what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 (40:08):
Yeah, and and I I am not um estranged from my father
because he you know, because ofpolitics as much as because he's
a jerk.
But you know what I'm saying.
But Fox News, we used to be ableto banter.
We used to be able to banterpolitically and then he retired
and just watched Fox News on uhall day on like volume 200 and

(40:30):
it changed so much.
But I I do believe that peopleare I do have to believe that
people are inherently good, andI do think that if all you see
is just the piece that'spresented to you, where you and
I, I know both look at eventhough it's painful, I'll watch

(40:50):
Fox News and trying to get asense of what is everybody
seeing.
You know, I don't want to beonly seeing my little slice and
missing something either.
So I think it it's sad, and I'veseen more and more, you know,
family estrangement.
I have a lot of people in mylife who don't think the same
way that I do, and we just donot, we don't I know that in

(41:12):
order to maintain thoserelationships, we don't discuss
politics.

SPEAKER_02 (41:15):
Yeah, on Facebook, I think it's where the biggest mix
comes in.
And so I have been slowlybuilding up my my bravery, I
guess you could say.
That's a tougher, that's tougherthan TikTok.
Yeah.
It is so much tougher.
And so I'll post clips on thereknowing I'm gonna get a
reaction, but also I want to seewho's posting stuff that are the

(41:39):
opposite of what I'm saying, soI can block them.
I know it's horrible.
I know it's horrible, but Idon't I don't want somebody that
would point to the attic if Iwas up there.
And the way things are going,Trump wants everybody to point
out the terrorist in the groupbecause they believe differently
or oppose him.
And I don't want somebody in mylife that would point to me and

(42:01):
say, her.
And that's how I view peoplenow.
Yeah.
Would you point to the attic?
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (42:06):
I have never been so stressed ever about what's
happening as I have been sinceJanuary of this year.
And um it's interesting becausemy husband, although we feel the
same, I feel it much more deeplyand think about it much more,
and it takes up more room in mybrain.

(42:27):
So it it's tough.
And I I know lots of people whoare actually their partners feel
the opposite, and that's been astruggle for a lot.

SPEAKER_02 (42:37):
Do you think it's TikTok?
Do you think TikTok is whatmakes us a little bit more
aware, hyper-aware of what'shappening everywhere?
Sometimes for me.
Agreed.
No, agreed.
Because I and that's why I goand I try to check myself by
going to other places just tomake sure I'm not in falling
into this culty thought.

(42:58):
Right.
But every time I go out, Trumpproves me wrong.
Every time, nope, you'redefinitely not.
It's it's him.
It's absolutely him.

SPEAKER_01 (43:06):
And it's just not a no, you watch clips of things.
And I feel like it's every day,it's it's at least weekly, if
not every day, that the nextshocking thing happens.
And we keep thinking he won't orit can't, and it does.
And so I think um that's anotherthing.
Like, I, you know, just tyingtying this into menopause for a

(43:29):
second.
Women women in midlife ingeneral, like this is a season
where resilience is down in alot of us.
Um and our nervous systemsalready need some help.
So this past year, I've had morewomen say what's happening in

(43:49):
the world is just it's likelighter fluid on the fire of me
not feeling well to begin with.
Like it's really tough to watch.

SPEAKER_02 (43:58):
Has anyone ever asked you, a patient or a
potential patient, what yourpolitical views are?
Is that like a pre-resiquit?
How do you pre-resiquit?
I can't even say the word.

SPEAKER_01 (44:07):
Requisite requisite.
I'm gonna send you some estrogenpath just thing.
Um so yeah, yeah, no, it's real.
Menopause brain is real.
Uh in fact, what were we justtalking about?

SPEAKER_02 (44:28):
Has anybody ever asked you your political views?

SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
Okay, thank you.
Um yes, but not in the way theydon't come out and blatantly
ask.
I think if you watch any of my,even my if you look at my
website for my business, if youknow that I'm a women's health,
you know, nurse practitioner,you probably kind of can guess

(44:56):
where I would land.
I'm not private about it onFacebook.
Funny, one of my patientsactually found me on TikTok.
So I'm like sitting, I wouldnever I'm sitting in the room
and I, you know, how did youfind my practice?
She's like, I saw your videos onTikTok.
I'm like, ooh, I'm a littleunhinged on there sometimes, but
you know, it's okay.

(45:17):
I have my own practice, so I canbe a little bit unhinged.
Um yeah, uh yeah.
So I feel like most of the timewomen you you feel each other
out, right?
Like any other stressors, yeah,you know what's happening in the
world.
And I just say something like,yeah, it's pretty crazy.
And then I know, but based onthe next thing they say, kind of

(45:39):
where they land.
But I don't feel like I can'ttell you.
I think most of my patientswould be thumbs up with where I
am.
And I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (45:50):
And I have to go ahead.
I have to tell the audience, shehas like 35,000 followers on
TikTok.
So she's not just like a hundredfollowers, so she's pretty yeah,
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (46:01):
I do not know how that happened.
So I have been making videos anddoing menopause care and you
know, for about menopause andstuff like that, and funny
things about my family.
I got on there in 2020 because Iwas bored, right?
In pandemic, I had to escape.
And then um, I after theelection, I made a post.
I said, if you look like me andyou voted for her, how are you

(46:24):
going to, how are we going tolet people know that we're
actually safe when we look likethis?
Because how many percentage ofwhite women voted for him?
And that was the one, that wasthe one.
That was the that was when youknow a lot of women.
And so I love, like, I don'tget, I get some, you know,
nasties on there, um, which I'llsometimes have fun with, but uh,

(46:48):
for the most part, it's justthis beautiful like group of
women who are in the same placethat we are.

SPEAKER_02 (46:56):
And I love that.
And I think that's like thereally great thing about TikTok
is that you do meet really greatpeople.
Like for the first time I metsomebody on TikTok when I went
to the protest, the No Kingsrecently.
I did.
She jumped into my DMs and she'slike, she's in Dallas or in
Texas, and she's like, How doyou get down there?
Is there special parking?
I said, No, just take the train,it is so much easier.

(47:18):
Sorry.
And I'm walking.
No, that's oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
This is my son.
That was so cute.
He's my empty nap savior.

SPEAKER_02 (47:30):
We all need one of those.
Um, my son graduates this year.
He's my last of three, so Itotally understand.
Um, so I so I got off the train,and me and my daughter there
were walking, and all of asudden I hear somebody go, Thank
you for the advice on the train.
And I look over and it's Danny,and I'm just like, I met
somebody on TikTok.
This is real.

SPEAKER_01 (47:48):
That's cool.
So cool.
That is so cool.

SPEAKER_02 (47:50):
Yeah, it was really cool.
And I got to meet you.
You know, I'm so I was soexcited for today.
I was nervous and excited andall the things.
And I have to tell you, I I amreally a bad interviewer.
Like I'm gonna say I'm reallygood at talking by myself.
No, I was like, I didn't evenplan anything.
I'm like, let's just go off thecuff, you know, and see what

(48:11):
happens.
But I that's why the beginningwas kind of weird where I'm just
like, okay, let's do this.
I don't know what I'm doing.
So I'm just a normal human.

SPEAKER_01 (48:19):
You give yourself way more credit than that.
You're fantastic.
And I all day long would ratherjust sit here and that's your
your the feel is you'rechit-chatting with your
girlfriend, and that's you know,yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (48:30):
And it's true.
I really wanted to learn fromyou.
Like, I I love to have people onthat can that are smarter, that
can teach me things, and then wecan teach somebody else, and and
to know that maybe somebody tooksomething away where they're
like, you know what?
I want to reach out, I want, Ineed help, and and nobody seems
to understand what's happening.
And that is so important.

(48:51):
Like, we need to take care ofeach other as friends, as the
community, uh, you know, in thispolitical climate, but also just
for your health, just to be weneed you strong, ladies.
We need you strong.
Yes, we do, which is the biggestthing.
And um, so is there anythingthat you want to close and and
tell the audience about beforewe leave?

SPEAKER_01 (49:10):
Sure.
Um, I think what I my biggesttake-home is as women, we have
taken care of everyone ourentire lives.
Midlife should be a season wherewe get to take a breath, we get
to reprioritize ourselves andtake care of ourselves, pour

(49:33):
into ourselves.
This should be a season of joy.
And if it's not, and you're inthe struggle, um, particularly
if it's, you know, um hormonesor you have unhealed trauma,
like this is the season, takecare of it.
Like go go do your therapy, geton hormones, like if if you want

(49:54):
to, and are a candidate.
Um make this season amazing andand and go into this next season
um healthy and happy.
Deserve it.

SPEAKER_02 (50:04):
Yeah, I I I loved having you on.
And I'm gonna give you a secondto brag about yourself and tell
people where they can find youbecause I know after seeing
this, they're gonna go look youup.
So give us your website, give usyour podcast, tell us where
you're at.

SPEAKER_01 (50:20):
Um, so for website, you can go to either Victoria
Kirby Wellness.
Um that's my business uh for mypersonal practice.
And then I also um have faded tofabulous.biz, and you can find
the link to the podcast onthere.
And that's just fun connectingwith women in midlife.
And they can find you on TikTok,which is where I found her.

(50:43):
Yeah, and TikTok again if youwant to hear my um angry
ranting.

SPEAKER_02 (50:47):
You can do it.
Misery loves company.
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Ruthie's Table 4

For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

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