July 24, 2024 • 46 mins
Navigating the world of intuitive eating & anti-diet living can be a daunting task, especially when you're doing it solo. In this episode, we're diving deep into the journey of pursuing intuitive eating without professional support, with 7 crucial insights that can help you set realistic expectations & understand the long-term commitment required for this process.
We're talking about:
Why it's normal to hit plateaus or feel stuck on your intuitive eating journey
The importance of setting realistic expectations to avoid discouragement
Why everyone’s timeline is unique & it’s perfectly okay for the journey to take as long as it needs
The need to actively apply intuitive eating principles, rather than simply understanding them intellectually
The cognitive dissonance & challenges that come with doing this solo
The significance of unpacking underlying beliefs to foster a healthier relationship with food & bodies
The value of self-compassion
And the importance of seeking professional help when we actually do need it.
And if you do want to get some support in this work, Naomi has a few options for you! She has 3 spots open for 1:1 Intuitive Eating & Anti-Diet coaching! She also offers individual pay-what-you-can coaching calls called Mindset Reset calls. And lastly, she's currently trying to gauge interest for a fall cohort of her group coaching program, Nourish & Bloom, so be sure to join the waitlist for that if you're at all interested.
Stay in touch with the pod on IG @satisfactionfactorpod!
And here's where you can continue to find us:
Sadie Simpson: www.sadiesimpson.com or IG @sadiemsimpson
Naomi Katz: www.happyshapes.co or IG @happyshapesnaomi
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Naomi Katz (00:03):
Welcome to Satisfaction Factor, the podcast
where we explore how ditchingdiet culture makes our whole
lives more satisfying.
Welcome back to SatisfactionFactor.
I'm Naomi Katz, an intuitiveeating and body image coach.
Sadie Simpson (00:25):
I'm Sadie Simpson , a group fitness instructor and
personal trainer.
Naomi Katz (00:29):
So, before we dig into this week's episode, just a
reminder that if you would liketo support the show, we've got
merch.
We've got a handful of designsup on TeePublic that can be
printed as stickers, t-shirts,sweatshirts, mugs, tote bags or
whatever else you like.
T-shirts and sweatshirts comein sizes up to 5X and you can
(00:49):
check that out at the link inour show notes.
So now that that's out of theway, this week we are talking
about seven things to know ifyou're working through intuitive
eating or anti-diet work onyour own.
So you know, working with anintuitive eating professional is
great and it's definitelysomething that we highly
recommend when possible, but ofcourse, we also know that that's
(01:11):
not accessible for a lot ofpeople.
So we really want to validatethat a lot of folks are probably
out there trying to do thiswork on their own and that,
while this work is never easylike even when you do have
professional support doing it onyour own is a very different
experience with its own set ofchallenges.
Sadie Simpson (01:32):
Yes, that is so very true.
I mean, there's so many peoplethat are doing this on their own
and it's weird like you almostwish you had a little
spreadsheet database ofeverybody working on this.
So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a
buddy through this spreadsheetand of everybody working on this
.
So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a
buddy through this spreadsheetand we can work on it together.
But this is very like, I don'tknow, it's very, it's lonely
(01:53):
work or it can be lonely, butit's very like personal too.
Naomi Katz (01:57):
It's hard to do this out in public in the world yeah
, like I actually think it'sreally interesting because I
think that there's like when youfirst start doing it like in my
experience at least, I see thisis how it works with my clients
when you first start doing it,it's like you don't want to talk
about it with anybody, exceptperhaps the professional that
(02:18):
you're working with.
And then at some point duringthe work it becomes like you
want to talk about it all thetime to everybody and like
there's really just like thisswitch over, but like when and
how and all of that stuffdefinitely changes.
It's definitely different foreverybody.
Oh yeah, but yeah, like,especially in the earlier stages
(02:43):
, it's very personal and most ofus don't feel like we really
want to shout it from themountaintops when we first start
.
I also think it's reallyimportant to keep in mind that
this is how you and I did it.
Neither of us worked with anintuitive eating professional
when we were going through thisprocess ourselves, going through
(03:06):
this process ourselves, andwe've talked about that before.
But you know, for this episode,we kind of wanted to share some
insights about how we did thiswork on our own, what we learned
from that.
You know what we've learnedtalking to other people over the
years about how they've done itand like the differences we've
seen between people doing it ontheir own versus working at the
professional, so that you kindof just have a better idea of
(03:26):
what to expect if you're doingthis by yourself.
Because I think settingexpectations is hugely important
for making us feel like we cankeep going, because otherwise
it's real easy to getdiscouraged when things don't
look like what we expected themto look like.
Yeah for sure, and like to beclear.
(03:51):
We're going to try and set someexpectations, but I promise you
the number one thing to keep inmind is it is not going to look
like what you think it's goingto look like, no matter how well
you set your expectations.
Having said that, let's talkabout these like specific
expectations that it's worthknowing about.
Let's do it.
So.
The first one is it's gonnatake a long time.
(04:14):
We know this is not a quick fix.
We know that it's lifelong work.
We know it evolves over time.
Sadie Simpson (04:22):
We've talked about this like ad nauseum,
essentially on this podcast andI feel like you can't say it
enough, because even to myselfI'm like this is lifelong work.
I have to tell that to myselffrom time to time.
Naomi Katz (04:34):
Truly yes, and it's also, you know, it's important
to reiterate because it is veryhard to wrap our heads around
how long this takes because, aswe've talked about before, diet
culture really conditions us tothink about these things in
(04:54):
short-term bursts 21-day fix,whole 30, 12-week programs of
different types, things likethat, and so when we talk about,
this takes a long time we'veused this example before like a
year is like barely scratchingthe surface of an intuitive
eating practice.
(05:15):
So many people are like I'vebeen doing this for a couple of
months and it's not working, andthen they get discouraged.
Or even it's been a year and I'mstill struggling, and it's like
, yeah, that is not a long time.
It takes so much longer thanthat, especially when you think
of it truly as like start tofinish.
So, for instance, like onaverage, I work with clients for
(05:40):
about a year, but that's notlike from the first time they
thought about intuitive eatingto when they're fully healed and
everything is wonderful, allthe time right, like they
usually had done some work ontheir own, learned about it,
(06:00):
read about it, contemplated it,thought about it for like quite
some time at the very leastbefore they reach out to me.
We worked together for a yearand then they still have their
own work to do afterwards.
We just have like a year ofconcentrated like working
through the real sticky stuff,but like that's neither the
(06:24):
beginning nor the end of theirtime working on intuitive eating
, and that is with weeklyone-on-one support, with like
messaging in between and likeplanned exercises and practices
in between.
Sadie Simpson (06:42):
Those sessions, like you know, really like
dedicated work on this stuff forlike a year and so like I'm
just like envisioning a timeline, like and I feel like I've seen
this maybe in like a worksituation or something.
You have like this very briefperiod of time.
Like there's a visual in mybrain like this very short
(07:05):
amount of time, like in the spanof your whole life, and it's
just like a year or whatever.
Like the amount of timesomebody works with you or a
similar professional is such,just like a blip in time and
it's like I feel like we need avisual for our Instagram post,
for this or something.
Yeah, totally.
Naomi Katz (07:23):
It's like when you look at like the entire history
of the planet earth and thenlike the time that humans were
on the planet is like this blipand I feel like that's kind of
what we're talking about herethat is exactly what we're
talking about.
But like, so that's just.
I bring this up to say likeit's gonna take even longer when
(07:45):
you're not working with aprofessional, so like without
that kind of support andguidance.
And that's not because, like,oh it's, you can't do it on your
own, but it's like for somespecific reasons.
So like, for one thing, hittingplateaus, hitting areas where
we feel stuck, is totally normal, even when you're working with
(08:06):
a professional, to kind of likehelp you move through those
plateaus, those sticky pointswhere, like, somebody can look
(08:28):
at and be like, oh, here'ssomething that might be an
obstacle, here's something thatlike, so like working with a
professional doesn't like pushyou through those plateaus or
prevent them from happening, butit can make it easier to figure
out what the sticking point is,because, like, when you're just
in your own head with yourselfand your own eyes, it's really
(08:51):
really easy.
It's like, if you, if you writesomething and then you go back
to proofread it, like rightafter you finished writing it,
it's so hard to see where you'vemade mistakes.
That's why, so often that youpeople like, that's why there
are roles, that where peoplehave jobs just as third party
proofreaders, because sometimesyou just need to step away and
(09:15):
have some distance from it andhave somebody with fresh eyes
come look at it.
Same thing here and so, ifyou're doing this on your own,
same thing here and so, ifyou're doing this on your own,
it's important to know that,like we all hit those plateaus,
those sticky points, even whenwe're working with professionals
.
You can and will move throughthem.
It just might take longer whenyou're doing it on your own.
(09:40):
Um, you know, we also.
We don't know what we don'tknow and like we get comfortable
in our comfort zones, which,like don't get me wrong, listen,
I am a Taurus and an Enneagramnine.
I love a comfort zone.
I would like, I would like toget who feels like we have to
(10:05):
get pushed outside of ourcomfort zones.
But I also know myself, like,honestly workouts are a great
example of how this comes intoplay Like when I, if I write my
own workout plans, I am nevergonna put things on there that I
don't like doing there, that Idon't like doing or that I find
particularly like difficult oryou know, or things like that,
(10:30):
like I'm just going to not putthem on there because I don't
have to, whereas if I'm going toa class or if somebody else is
writing a program for me,they're going to be like, yeah,
like you are way stronger inyour right leg, so like we
probably should do some likesingle leg work, even though you
hate it, just to try and like,balance that out and like, again
(10:55):
, similar concept in theintuitive eating and anti diet
world, like there are, so manyof our narratives are there to
protect us from looking atthings that are uncomfortable or
from processing things that areuncomfortable.
And again, like, eventually wemay let ourselves look at those
(11:19):
things or deal with thatdiscomfort, but we're probably
going to put it off for like areally long time if we can.
We're probably going to put itoff for like a really long time
if we can.
We're probably going to try anddo everything else and like,
and sometimes like we literallydon't know what we need to be
looking at because we don't knowwhat we don't know.
Yep, that is true.
And so, again, just like,having a third party who can
(11:43):
like, maybe help us to see wherewe might want to dig deeper,
where there might be an area ofdiscomfort that can be
approached in a way that won'tbe traumatic and like you know
places where we can learn thingsand like learn what we don't
(12:06):
know and things like that.
Again, we probably will getthere on our own, but it's going
to take longer without somebodyto point to those things.
So, yeah, but the fact that ittakes longer to do this stuff on
your own is not necessarily abad thing.
(12:26):
Like when something is alifelong process, like we know
intuitive eating and anti-dietwork to be, it's okay for it to
take, however long it's going totake.
So like it's good to have ourexpectations set properly so we
don't get discouraged.
But none of this is to say likeit's going to take longer and
(12:49):
so it's the wrong way to do itor anything like that.
It can.
It takes as long as it takes,whether you're working on your
own or with somebody else.
We just want to set theexpectation of how it might be
different.
Sadie Simpson (13:01):
Yeah, I like that because I mean, I think with
this and with everything, wejust have this expectation that
we have to meet certainbenchmarks by a certain time,
whether that is in school orlike I think about my kid, they
have these age appropriatebenchmarks they're supposed to
reach, but every kid isdifferent so they might not hit
them at certain times and it'sthe same thing for this, like
(13:24):
everybody's timeline is going tobe a little bit different when
they, you know, when certainthings start to click or when
certain things need moreattention, and stuff like that.
Naomi Katz (13:33):
Yeah, absolutely, and it's all okay and it's all.
Quote unquote normal yeah,normal yeah.
The second thing to keep inmind is that intuitive eating,
anti-diet work is not somethingthat you can just learn about.
We have to actually be applyingit also.
Sadie Simpson (13:55):
I love this and I think this is a really, really,
really important one, becausein so many food programs, diet
programs, weight loss programs,whatever you have it like there
are, there's always a framework.
There's always some sort ofrules, some sort of guideline,
either like a list or anumerical system or a point
system or something that youhave to memorize and follow, and
(14:18):
this is not that like there isno like hard and fast protocol
that you have to memorize andlike carry in your brain forever
, and I think that that is it'sweird.
Like it is a little bit weirdbecause we're so used to like
following a protocol.
Naomi Katz (14:38):
Yeah, that is absolutely true, and this is not
.
This is just not that Like.
You could essentially be ableto recite the intuitive eating
book backwards and forwards, beable to host your own intuitive
eating podcast, but if you'renot practicing, like the
application of these principlesand these concepts, it's not
(15:00):
going to matter.
Nope of these principles andthese concepts it's not going to
matter.
Nope.
So, again, you know, themajority of the folks that I
work with absolutely have readthe intuitive eating book.
Like I said, like their work onthis stuff doesn't start when
they contact me right.
Like, they've probably read thebook.
They probably have at least oneintuitive eating podcast that
they listen to.
(15:20):
They definitely followdifferent professionals on
Instagram and, like,intellectually, they know what
the framework of intuitiveeating entails.
They know about you know thefailure rate of diets.
They know that diet culture isharmful and oppressive and all
of that stuff.
They know that the old ways arenot working for them and that,
(15:46):
like they don't really buy intothe old ways anymore and they're
still struggling to make itwork with their own lives.
Intuitive eating, like thatthey're still struggling to make
the intuitive eating stuff workfor them.
They kind of feel like theyjust can't apply that
intellectual knowledge to theirown lives.
(16:08):
Like they're in this constantstate of like cognitive
dissonance of what they knowversus what they feel and stuff
like that.
And that's totally normal.
That is a totally normal partof this process.
Again, if you're doing this onyour own, you are 100% going to
go through that part of it, andthe reason for that is because
(16:32):
you do need to learn intuitiveeating intellectually.
You do have to learn it, butyou can't just learn it.
It is a practice, it issomething you do and that's
going to look different foreveryone.
So, like, learning itintellectually is great, but we
(16:54):
need to practice the actual,like pieces of it in order to,
like, get to a point where we'rebridging that gap between our
intellectual understanding andour internalized beliefs and
understandings gap between ourintellectual understanding and
our internalized beliefs andunderstandings.
Like, we need to see how thetheory actually applies to our
lives, like our own personalactual individual lives.
Sadie Simpson (17:17):
Listening to you talk about this it makes me
think about things like yoga andmeditation and stuff like that,
because, like I mean, I like totake a yoga class for like the
flexibility and the quietnessand that sort of thing, but you
always hear the instructors.
They're like this is a practiceand like the really hardcore
yoga people are really likeimmersed in it and integrating
all of the yoga things intotheir lives.
Naomi Katz (17:38):
So they kind of.
Sadie Simpson (17:39):
I mean it kind of makes me think of that sort of
as an analogy.
Like you can understand that,yeah, you're going to get a
little bit of flexibility and alittle bit of stretch and you
can lay there on the mat andrelax, but like to really
immerse yourself in that world,in that lifestyle.
I don't really know what tolabel it, but it's a whole
different thing than just to gothrough the motions then to like
(18:00):
actually apply the principlesand the practices to your life.
Naomi Katz (18:03):
Yes, and the more you practice it so like, the
more you actually go and get onthe mat and do the stretch and
like and like understand howmoving your body in a certain
position, doing this or that,like how that feels in your body
and what it does in your body,and how the muscles stretch, how
(18:25):
the muscles activate, stufflike that.
The more you're going to getout of it, the better it's going
to serve you Like, the moreunderstanding you're going to
gain because you're going to seeit in action, versus just
understanding the concepts andstuff like that.
And this is very much the sameas that.
So I hear I can already hearwhat does that mean?
(18:49):
And that's fair.
There are some great you know.
So, first of all, our nextepisode is going to be all about
bite-sized practices andapplications of the intuitive
eating principles and anti-dietwork that you can like, practice
and apply yourself.
So stay tuned for that.
(19:09):
Also, the intuitive eatingworkbook is a great resource
with some like practical, likeexercises and applications,
although I always like to givekind of a content warning for
that, which is that theintuitive eating workbook was
not updated at the same time in2020, when the intuitive eating
(19:30):
book was updated and so itdefinitely still has some
concepts in it that are kind ofsteeped in like healthism and
maybe like lingering diet-ystuff.
So just like, go into that withyour eyes open and if you have
questions, like, find somebodyto ask those questions.
(19:51):
I also love the your Body IsNot an Apology workbook by Sonia
Renee Taylor.
It's something that I use withmy clients regularly, and then
there's also a very recentlyreleased workbook this was
released by Christy Harrison oflike, the Food Psych podcast and
(20:13):
Anti-Diet and the Wellness Trap.
We all love Christy Harrison,but Christy Harrison, judith
Metz and Amy Pershing all workedtogether to release recently a
workbook called the EmotionalEating, chronic Dieting, binge
Eating and Body Image Workbook.
I got a copy of it right away.
(20:34):
It is really good.
I definitely would recommendlike and it avoids a lot of the
triggery stuff that is stillpresent in the in the actual
intuitive eating workbook cool,I'll have to check this out so
those are some places to startwith how to apply it, because
(20:54):
just because you're doing thison your own doesn't mean you
can't take advantage ofresources that are out there and
available, and so workbookslike that are a great option.
Okay, expectation number threethe thing to keep in mind as
you're doing this on your own.
It's about way more than food,and I know we have talked about
(21:15):
this a ton also, but, like Iwant to be really clear about
what we mean by that and how, ifyou're working on this on your
own, like that is some why it'ssomething that's so important to
keep in mind.
So like you can force yourselfto eat all the cookies and pizza
in the world and not make anyprogress on the deeper stuff.
(21:38):
Like you can force yourself toto eat the, to eat the pizza, to
drink the milkshake, to dowhatever, and still constantly
feel guilt, fear of weight gain,mental restriction, all of that
stuff.
So like, yes, you need topractice honoring hunger.
You need to practiceunconditional permission with
(22:01):
like off limits foods.
You need to practiceunconditional permission with
like off limits foods.
You need to practice foodneutrality, like all of those
things that has to be part ofthis practice.
And you also have to be doingthe internal work of unpacking
anti-fatness, ditching dietculture, building self-trust,
reclaiming autonomy, thinkingcritically about the sources of
(22:23):
our narratives, values, work,like all of that other stuff.
Like we can't just be like well,I told myself it was stupid not
to have the cookie, and so Ihad the cookie, but then I felt
terrible about having the cookie.
When we're doing this work onour own, it is much easier to
(22:43):
just focus on the food and it'ssuper easy to just stop at the
food.
But that leaves us in thisstate of like, that constant
cognitive dissonance, and thething to remember is that stage
of cognitive dissonance is goingto happen for everybody.
(23:04):
Again, even folks working witha professional are going to go
through that part of it, abattle Like you're not going to
have that sense of like, oh, Iate the thing, but I feel
(23:24):
terrible about eating the thing,but only if we do the work to
unpack what's underneath thefood.
Otherwise we don't get to theplace where it feels better and
so like that's sometimes that'swhat I see happening.
Like when I look on like forumsabout intuitive eating and
people are like no-transcript.
Sadie Simpson (24:11):
And that's hard.
Naomi Katz (24:12):
It's so hard.
Sadie Simpson (24:13):
Again, like when people come into this work, like
we want it to be about the food, we won't just fix the food and
to fix the eating situation andthen everything else will be
fixed.
But it's really not all aboutthat.
Naomi Katz (24:25):
Yeah, and again, it's especially hard when you're
doing it by yourself, becausethe stuff that's under the food
is the really hard stuff it'sthe single leg it's the lunges,
it's the single leg.
Work that you don't want to do.
It's the lunges, it's thesingle leg work that you don't
want to do and you are like more.
(24:48):
It's so easy when you're doingit by yourself to just let
yourself off the hook from thatstuff.
Forget that.
I'm just doing squats, I'm notlunging, exactly Like this is
fine, but like it's your, we'reactually like keeping ourselves
from moving into a morecomfortable, like better place
with food if we're only lookingat the food, yeah Okay.
Thing number four to keep inmind is that it is okay to have
(25:15):
negative feelings as we do this.
Yay, thanks for validating thenegativity, yeah, and we really
have to acknowledge and acceptthose negative feelings as part
of this process.
So we've used the beach ballanalogy before that Bree Campos
uses that I just love so much of.
(25:35):
Like you know, you can kind ofthink of these negative feelings
as like a beach ball where youcan push it underwater.
You can kind of think of thesenegative feelings as like a
beach ball where you can push itunderwater and like it's fine,
as long as you're continuing topush it underwater, it'll stay
there.
But like you have to keepexerting energy to keep it under
there or it's just going to popup again Unless you actually
(25:59):
acknowledge it and like do whatneeds to be done to deflate the
beach ball like once and for all.
Yeah, um, and so yeah, you haveto acknowledge the beach ball
and before in order to be ableto deflate the beach ball.
Basically, the thing is thattrying to just like be positive
about everything doesn't work.
(26:20):
We so intuitive eating,anti-diet work, all of that
stuff.
There's a lot of kind ofpositive sounding terms that we
use to talk about the process,right, like making peace with
food, body acceptance, joyfulmovement, gentle nutrition, like
these are all things that havelike positive sounding vibes,
(26:46):
right, like calm and positiveand nice, but that doesn't mean
that those things feel positiveor calm or nice in the moment.
It also doesn't mean that thenegative feelings aren't like a
normal part of the process.
So, like we can accept ourbodies and still hate going
(27:10):
shopping or feel superfrustrated when a store doesn't
have our size, or feel reallyangry when we get marginalized
at the doctor or feel really sadwhen we can't do something that
we used to be able to do.
We can honor our hunger and wecan make peace with food.
And we can still feel superannoyed by how expensive
(27:31):
groceries are and like how it,now that we're actually eating
regularly and enough, we have topay more for groceries.
Like we can also be reallyannoyed at how often we end up
realizing we have to stop to eat, especially in the beginning,
when, like we're maybe noteating enough every time and so
(27:52):
we get hungry again.
Very often it's like everysingle time I try and increase
the amount of water I'm drinking, I spend the entire time pissed
off because of how often I haveto pee, and like that doesn't
mean I shouldn't be doing it,but like also I have this
(28:14):
feeling of annoyance.
That's fine.
So, like, the fact that thesethings are like positive things
and the fact that we're doingthings that sound positive
doesn't mean that they don'tsometimes come with totally
normal negative emotions as well.
And if we try and pretend thatwe never feel any negative
(28:34):
emotions about any of this stuff, then we're just pushing that
beach ball underwater andeventually it's going to pop up
and we're going to be like fuckit, I'm not doing any of this
anymore, whereas if we canacknowledge it as a normal part
of the process, like we're goingto be able to stick with it a
lot longer.
We're going to be able torealize that, like we're allowed
to have a full range ofemotions around all of this
(28:57):
stuff and a lot of times thiswork comes with like a much
deeper grief and anger that weneed to process and we cannot
skip over that part.
Like so like there's theday-to-day negative feelings
that might come up with thisstuff, and then there's like the
deep, hard negative feelingsthat like we have to look at,
(29:26):
feelings that like we have tolook at, and again it's the same
, again, it's the single legwork Of the analogy.
I don't want to do it and a lotof times like, even if we're not
working with an intuitiveeating professional, maybe we
need to work with a therapist,like maybe we do need some other
kind of support to processthose really deep emotions.
But we have to do it like that.
We have to work through thenegative stuff.
(29:49):
We can't just like loveourselves through this process.
Well, that's not true.
We should love ourselvesthrough this process.
We can't just like toxicpositivity our way through all
of this.
There's got to be like a namefor that.
Yeah, we can't just like slap ona smile and be like everything
is fine, that's not going to getus anywhere, nope.
(30:10):
And that is because the otherthing to keep in mind is this is
really hard, so hard, this isso hard.
It is emotionally hard,mentally hard, socially hard and
even like physically hardsometimes, especially like as
(30:32):
we're trying to learn our bodycues and stuff like that.
Again, that's also true whenworking with a professional, but
, you know, when you're doing iton your own, it's just so
important to remember that it isnormal for it to be hard.
I think that one of the mainthings that I do with clients is
(30:53):
remind them that the fact thatit's hard is normal and not
because they're doing anythingwrong.
And not because they're doinganything wrong, like that is one
of my primary functions as anintuitive eating coach is
telling people that that, yes,this is hard and that's normal.
Yeah, because it's so easy tofeel like this shouldn't be that
(31:18):
hard, like this, like I must bedoing something wrong, I must
be, like you know, notprocessing something, right, I
must be like holding on to toomuch old stuff, like just like
we take that blame on ourselves,which makes sense, right,
because in diet culture, if thediet doesn't work, it's because
you did it wrong yeah, and it'slike, no, you're not doing
(31:43):
anything wrong.
This is hard, and it's normalfor it to be this hard, and so
if you're doing this by yourself, you need to be able to remind
yourself of that too.
Sadie Simpson (32:04):
Cause.
Again like another thing I haveto tell myself still to this
day this is hard Like it, it's,it gets easier, but it's still
not like the easiest thingthat's ever happened.
The easiest thing I've everdone in my life, by any means,
oh, definitely not, definitelynot.
Naomi Katz (32:17):
And like, every time you peel back a new layer it's
like, oh, that was hard.
Again for a minute, back a newlayer.
It's like, oh, that was hardagain for a minute.
And yeah, just knowing I getit's expectation, setting it so
that, like when it gets hard,you don't go.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Oh I guess I don't know what I'm doing, or this
isn't working and like ditch ityeah we always want to keep in
mind that other people may notunderstand what we're doing.
Sadie Simpson (32:46):
They don't and they won't and everybody won't.
Some people- will like if you'reyou know, in community with
other people who are doing thesame thing, that's one thing.
But, like when you're in theworld with other people with
other experiences and opinionsand things like that, things are
going to be, they're going tobe weird, they're not going to
understand it.
Like I've had so manyconversations with family
(33:06):
members and friends and evenclients and people who have come
to my classes and stuff, whohave maybe bought the intuitive
eating book or the workbook orhave listened to the podcast,
and they've told me they're likeyeah, I'm excited, I'm going to
try this intuitive eating thing, and then a month or so later
they're like well, it's notworking, I'm not losing weight,
I think I'm just going to moveon, I think I'm going to give up
(33:28):
and go to the next thing.
And it's like it is just so, so, so hard, even if we are
immersed in it, for other peoplewho are hearing about it or
maybe experimenting with itthemselves, to get out of that
mentality Like we already talkedabout, like that 21 day fix or
that 30 day, you know whole 30or whatever.
It's just really really, reallyhard, but it's yeah, there's
(33:54):
other people add another dynamicto it, for sure, definitely.
Naomi Katz (33:59):
And like I can't even tell you how many times
I've been like, oh, I'm anintuitive eating coach.
And then people will launchinto this like, oh, intuitive
eating, that's so great.
And then, like launch into thiswhole thing about like
essentially like clean eatingand like quote, unquote healthy,
natural, like clean, all of thethings that like it.
(34:23):
Just so, so much moralityaround food and I'm like that's
not, but okay, so there's,there's that part of it.
And then there's also the partof it where, like, you get
pushback from people and this isgoing to be especially true for
folks in larger bodies who aregoing to get a lot of shit for
(34:46):
not dieting, for not pursuingweight loss anymore and all of
that stuff.
You know you get to make thechoice about how much you want
to explain to people, how muchyou want to engage with them,
how much you want to engage withthem.
If you want to do that at all,like I often just kind of go
(35:14):
yeah, okay, and just and justkind of like smile and nod,
because I just know, like eitherbecause situationally or
because the person themselves,like I just know that I'm going
to waste my own energy trying toexplain what intuitive eating
actually is, to somebody who isconvinced that it's about clean
eating.
Other times, for instance, whenthere's like an issue of like
(35:37):
weight stigma going on, I willspeak up and say something and
like set a boundary or whatever.
It depends on what feelsimportant in the moment, what I
have the energy for.
We've talked before about likethere's so many different ways
to respond.
We have multiple episodes abouthow to respond to this stuff
from people which, if this is aplace that you're at, definitely
(36:00):
go back and listen to those.
Definitely go back and listento those.
But yeah, like it's just a factthat this can feel really
isolating when you first startdoing it, because people don't
understand, people are againstit, it pisses people off, like,
and it's just that's a reallyhard place to be in, especially
(36:24):
because you're probablyprocessing a million really hard
emotions at the same time andpeople will say to you the exact
things that you are trying tounpack and unlearn and that's
very hard.
Sadie Simpson (36:41):
It is very hard.
Naomi Katz (36:44):
So, yeah, that's an important thing to keep in mind,
that, like it's rare that youtell people you're doing this
and people actually understandand are really supportive of it.
Yeah, and you know the lastthing.
So number seven is that youhave to practice self-compassion
(37:04):
as you go through this wholeprocess.
Honestly, I think that's thething that ties all of these
other things together.
Just, you know you're not doingthis wrong.
You are not taking too long,like again, you know, when we're
talking about how long thistakes, like remember how long
(37:25):
you've been indoctrinated intodiet culture.
Like, of course, it's going totake a long time to unpack that.
You're also not the only onewho's struggling.
You're not the only one who'sfeeling negative feelings.
You didn't start this work toolate.
You didn't know what you didn'tknow when you didn't know it
(37:47):
right, like.
All of that is true and it's soimportant for us to like be
gentle with ourselves, toforgive ourselves for what we
haven't, what we didn't know, or, you know, what we put out into
the world before we.
Just we have to be so, socaring with ourselves through
this process, like because nowwe can't move backwards, like we
(38:11):
can't go back in time andchange stuff Like we can only
move forward, and the thing tokeep in mind is that literally
every little bit of work that wedo on this is world-changing,
like actually truly life andworld-changing and so like just
(38:32):
baby steps, just little littlebits, and every single piece of
it matters and that's just.
We have to just remember thatand just like treat ourselves
the way we would treat anybodyelse who was doing something
really, really hard.
Sadie Simpson (38:52):
I like that because we often don't give
ourselves enough credit, like wewould give other people all the
praise and all the you knowgood job and everything but for
ourselves.
We never give ourselves a paton the back exactly.
Naomi Katz (39:04):
And again, like when you're working with a
professional, there's somebodythere to pat you on the back and
tell you what a good job you'redoing and like point out those
little like point out theprogress that you're making,
because it takes forever, butthere's progress the whole time
and every piece of that progressmatters.
And so, like trying to setyourself up to like also notice
(39:27):
that progress.
Like you know, maybe that meansthat, like once a month, you
sit down and go what's differentthis month than last month?
Or once every three months,once every six months, like
whatever, and just like reallynoticing even the littlest
things that might have shifted,so that you can remind yourself
that you are doing work, but,yeah, just treating yourself
(39:49):
like you would anybody else whowas doing something really,
really hard.
Sadie Simpson (39:54):
We should do this more often, with everything.
Naomi Katz (39:58):
I mean truly.
Yes, that is very true.
So anyway, we hope this wasreally helpful.
If you're working throughintuitive eating or through
anti-diet work, kind ofgenerally on your own, we hope
that it helps to like maybe setsome expectations and you know,
I don't know just help keep yougoing through things that, like
(40:22):
you know, we just we don't wantanybody to feel these feelings,
think they're doing it wrong,and then give up because it's
worth it, and so if this canlike keep people going just a
little bit longer, that is, thatis really our only hope here.
It is.
Having said all of this stuff,if you do want to get some
(40:46):
support in this work, I do havea few options for you that are
available right now.
So all of these options you canfind on my website at
happyshapesco, under the workwith me section.
The first option is that I havespots open for one-to-one
intuitive eating and anti-dietcoaching.
(41:07):
So I do one-on-one coaching inpackages of six, nine or 12
months.
I offer payment plans and otheraccessible pricing options.
The packages include weeklyZoom calls, voxer messaging,
access between calls, copies ofthe intuitive eating workbook
and the your body is not anapology workbook.
And again, all of thatinformation, including where you
(41:30):
can submit your application, ison my website, happyshapesco
slash coaching.
I also offer, like one-off paywhat you can coaching calls,
called mindset reset calls,pay-what-you-can coaching calls,
called Mindset Reset Calls.
Those are individual,one-hour-long calls to discuss
specific sticking points withouta long-term coaching commitment
(41:51):
, and you can get theinformation about that and sign
up for a call at happyshapescoslash Mindset Reset.
And then, lastly, I amcurrently trying to gauge
interest for a fall cohort of mygroup coaching program, nourish
and Bloom.
So that's a 40-week groupprogram that includes weekly
(42:11):
written content, monthly groupcalls, monthly journaling
prompts and an online communityspace, and you can get all the
information about that athappyshapesco slash, nourish and
bloom waitlist, and Idefinitely recommend that if
you're at all interested in thatgroup program, you please get
on the waitlist, because that'show I will know if there's
(42:34):
enough interest to run the fallcohort.
So, again, you can do all thisstuff on your own.
This is not like you can't doit on your own, so you have to
work with me, but if you wantsupport, I am here for you.
Anyway, sadie, what'ssatisfying for you right now?
Sadie Simpson (42:50):
This kind of goes along with our episode a few
episodes ago when we talkedabout like photos and and how we
see ourselves in photos andthings like that.
We just got back from a trip tothe beach and this year, for the
first year in a long time, Iwore like I always wear a two
piece bathing suit.
But I wore a two piece that waslike just a regular like bikini
top and like high waistedbottoms.
(43:12):
But the last few years I'veworn one that's got kind of like
dangly stuff sort of down, soit kind of covers up my stomach
for the most part.
But this year I just wore aregular old two piece for the
first time in a really long timeand my body is bigger now than
it has been ever and takingpictures at the beach I was like
, okay, what's this going to belike?
(43:33):
But like, my mother-in-law andmy other family members took
pictures at the beach and it wasone of those things it's like
for a second you're like, okay,this is what I look like now.
But it was a very like neutralfeeling so I felt very good
about that.
I'm glad we recorded thatepisode a few weeks before I
went to the beach, so that wasvery helpful and it felt very
satisfying.
Naomi Katz (43:53):
That's awesome.
I love that story so much, yeah, um, and I can't wait to see
pictures, yeah, of your trip tothe beach.
Sadie Simpson (44:03):
I didn't.
I didn't really take any, butluckily everybody else in my
family took lots.
So I guess they'll post them onFacebook and hopefully tag me
in them.
We'll see that's awesome.
Naomi Katz (44:12):
Also like the hopefully tag me in them is like
such a flip from like oh my God, I hope they don't tag me in
them.
Sadie Simpson (44:20):
That's awesome.
What's satisfying for you rightnow?
Naomi Katz (44:25):
This is.
This feels so stupid, but thesocial media algorithm, the
Instagram algorithm, has beensuch an absolute shit show for
so long.
Now, the past couple of weeks,I've had a couple of posts like
(44:47):
actually like get engagement anddo relatively well, like
certainly better than anythinghas done in months and I don't
know.
It was very satisfying to justhave this moment of like, not
feeling like I was at war withthe social media algorithm, to
like have anybody ever seeanything that I post, cause it's
(45:09):
not like we don't put work intothose things right?
Sadie Simpson (45:12):
Yeah, it's not like you, just slap it up there.
Naomi Katz (45:14):
Like it takes a lot of work, oh my God.
And then and then, Instagram isjust like oh, you have like
3000 followers.
You wanted five to see thispost right.
It's like sure, yeah, so yeah,it was really satisfying to just
have like a couple of poststhat just felt like they easily
got engagement and it wasn't afight.
Sadie Simpson (45:36):
That is very satisfying.
I'm very happy for you.
Naomi Katz (45:40):
Thank you.
Sadie Simpson (45:42):
Also so if you enjoyed this episode, please be
sure to leave us a positiverating and review on Apple
Podcasts and Spotify, or you canalso come and find us on
Instagram.
We are at satisfactionfactorpodand we love hearing from you.
Naomi Katz (45:57):
That's it for us this week.
We'll catch you next time, you.
Welcome to Satisfaction Factor, the podcast
where we explore how ditchingdiet culture makes our whole
lives more satisfying.
Welcome back to SatisfactionFactor.
I'm Naomi Katz, an intuitiveeating and body image coach.
Sadie Simpson (00:25):
I'm Sadie Simpson , a group fitness instructor and
personal trainer.
Naomi Katz (00:29):
So, before we dig into this week's episode, just a
reminder that if you would liketo support the show, we've got
merch.
We've got a handful of designsup on TeePublic that can be
printed as stickers, t-shirts,sweatshirts, mugs, tote bags or
whatever else you like.
T-shirts and sweatshirts comein sizes up to 5X and you can
(00:49):
check that out at the link inour show notes.
So now that that's out of theway, this week we are talking
about seven things to know ifyou're working through intuitive
eating or anti-diet work onyour own.
So you know, working with anintuitive eating professional is
great and it's definitelysomething that we highly
recommend when possible, but ofcourse, we also know that that's
(01:11):
not accessible for a lot ofpeople.
So we really want to validatethat a lot of folks are probably
out there trying to do thiswork on their own and that,
while this work is never easylike even when you do have
professional support doing it onyour own is a very different
experience with its own set ofchallenges.
Sadie Simpson (01:32):
Yes, that is so very true.
I mean, there's so many peoplethat are doing this on their own
and it's weird like you almostwish you had a little
spreadsheet database ofeverybody working on this.
So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a
buddy through this spreadsheetand of everybody working on this
.
So that way you'd be like, okay, I've got me, I can find a
buddy through this spreadsheetand we can work on it together.
But this is very like, I don'tknow, it's very, it's lonely
(01:53):
work or it can be lonely, butit's very like personal too.
Naomi Katz (01:57):
It's hard to do this out in public in the world yeah
, like I actually think it'sreally interesting because I
think that there's like when youfirst start doing it like in my
experience at least, I see thisis how it works with my clients
when you first start doing it,it's like you don't want to talk
about it with anybody, exceptperhaps the professional that
(02:18):
you're working with.
And then at some point duringthe work it becomes like you
want to talk about it all thetime to everybody and like
there's really just like thisswitch over, but like when and
how and all of that stuffdefinitely changes.
It's definitely different foreverybody.
Oh yeah, but yeah, like,especially in the earlier stages
(02:43):
, it's very personal and most ofus don't feel like we really
want to shout it from themountaintops when we first start
.
I also think it's reallyimportant to keep in mind that
this is how you and I did it.
Neither of us worked with anintuitive eating professional
when we were going through thisprocess ourselves, going through
(03:06):
this process ourselves, andwe've talked about that before.
But you know, for this episode,we kind of wanted to share some
insights about how we did thiswork on our own, what we learned
from that.
You know what we've learnedtalking to other people over the
years about how they've done itand like the differences we've
seen between people doing it ontheir own versus working at the
professional, so that you kindof just have a better idea of
(03:26):
what to expect if you're doingthis by yourself.
Because I think settingexpectations is hugely important
for making us feel like we cankeep going, because otherwise
it's real easy to getdiscouraged when things don't
look like what we expected themto look like.
Yeah for sure, and like to beclear.
(03:51):
We're going to try and set someexpectations, but I promise you
the number one thing to keep inmind is it is not going to look
like what you think it's goingto look like, no matter how well
you set your expectations.
Having said that, let's talkabout these like specific
expectations that it's worthknowing about.
Let's do it.
So.
The first one is it's gonnatake a long time.
(04:14):
We know this is not a quick fix.
We know that it's lifelong work.
We know it evolves over time.
Sadie Simpson (04:22):
We've talked about this like ad nauseum,
essentially on this podcast andI feel like you can't say it
enough, because even to myselfI'm like this is lifelong work.
I have to tell that to myselffrom time to time.
Naomi Katz (04:34):
Truly yes, and it's also, you know, it's important
to reiterate because it is veryhard to wrap our heads around
how long this takes because, aswe've talked about before, diet
culture really conditions us tothink about these things in
(04:54):
short-term bursts 21-day fix,whole 30, 12-week programs of
different types, things likethat, and so when we talk about,
this takes a long time we'veused this example before like a
year is like barely scratchingthe surface of an intuitive
eating practice.
(05:15):
So many people are like I'vebeen doing this for a couple of
months and it's not working, andthen they get discouraged.
Or even it's been a year and I'mstill struggling, and it's like
, yeah, that is not a long time.
It takes so much longer thanthat, especially when you think
of it truly as like start tofinish.
So, for instance, like onaverage, I work with clients for
(05:40):
about a year, but that's notlike from the first time they
thought about intuitive eatingto when they're fully healed and
everything is wonderful, allthe time right, like they
usually had done some work ontheir own, learned about it,
(06:00):
read about it, contemplated it,thought about it for like quite
some time at the very leastbefore they reach out to me.
We worked together for a yearand then they still have their
own work to do afterwards.
We just have like a year ofconcentrated like working
through the real sticky stuff,but like that's neither the
(06:24):
beginning nor the end of theirtime working on intuitive eating
, and that is with weeklyone-on-one support, with like
messaging in between and likeplanned exercises and practices
in between.
Sadie Simpson (06:42):
Those sessions, like you know, really like
dedicated work on this stuff forlike a year and so like I'm
just like envisioning a timeline, like and I feel like I've seen
this maybe in like a worksituation or something.
You have like this very briefperiod of time.
Like there's a visual in mybrain like this very short
(07:05):
amount of time, like in the spanof your whole life, and it's
just like a year or whatever.
Like the amount of timesomebody works with you or a
similar professional is such,just like a blip in time and
it's like I feel like we need avisual for our Instagram post,
for this or something.
Yeah, totally.
Naomi Katz (07:23):
It's like when you look at like the entire history
of the planet earth and thenlike the time that humans were
on the planet is like this blipand I feel like that's kind of
what we're talking about herethat is exactly what we're
talking about.
But like, so that's just.
I bring this up to say likeit's gonna take even longer when
(07:45):
you're not working with aprofessional, so like without
that kind of support andguidance.
And that's not because, like,oh it's, you can't do it on your
own, but it's like for somespecific reasons.
So like, for one thing, hittingplateaus, hitting areas where
we feel stuck, is totally normal, even when you're working with
(08:06):
a professional, to kind of likehelp you move through those
plateaus, those sticky pointswhere, like, somebody can look
(08:28):
at and be like, oh, here'ssomething that might be an
obstacle, here's something thatlike, so like working with a
professional doesn't like pushyou through those plateaus or
prevent them from happening, butit can make it easier to figure
out what the sticking point is,because, like, when you're just
in your own head with yourselfand your own eyes, it's really
(08:51):
really easy.
It's like, if you, if you writesomething and then you go back
to proofread it, like rightafter you finished writing it,
it's so hard to see where you'vemade mistakes.
That's why, so often that youpeople like, that's why there
are roles, that where peoplehave jobs just as third party
proofreaders, because sometimesyou just need to step away and
(09:15):
have some distance from it andhave somebody with fresh eyes
come look at it.
Same thing here and so, ifyou're doing this on your own,
same thing here and so, ifyou're doing this on your own,
it's important to know that,like we all hit those plateaus,
those sticky points, even whenwe're working with professionals
.
You can and will move throughthem.
It just might take longer whenyou're doing it on your own.
(09:40):
Um, you know, we also.
We don't know what we don'tknow and like we get comfortable
in our comfort zones, which,like don't get me wrong, listen,
I am a Taurus and an Enneagramnine.
I love a comfort zone.
I would like, I would like toget who feels like we have to
(10:05):
get pushed outside of ourcomfort zones.
But I also know myself, like,honestly workouts are a great
example of how this comes intoplay Like when I, if I write my
own workout plans, I am nevergonna put things on there that I
don't like doing there, that Idon't like doing or that I find
particularly like difficult oryou know, or things like that,
(10:30):
like I'm just going to not putthem on there because I don't
have to, whereas if I'm going toa class or if somebody else is
writing a program for me,they're going to be like, yeah,
like you are way stronger inyour right leg, so like we
probably should do some likesingle leg work, even though you
hate it, just to try and like,balance that out and like, again
(10:55):
, similar concept in theintuitive eating and anti diet
world, like there are, so manyof our narratives are there to
protect us from looking atthings that are uncomfortable or
from processing things that areuncomfortable.
And again, like, eventually wemay let ourselves look at those
(11:19):
things or deal with thatdiscomfort, but we're probably
going to put it off for like areally long time if we can.
We're probably going to put itoff for like a really long time
if we can.
We're probably going to try anddo everything else and like,
and sometimes like we literallydon't know what we need to be
looking at because we don't knowwhat we don't know.
Yep, that is true.
And so, again, just like,having a third party who can
(11:43):
like, maybe help us to see wherewe might want to dig deeper,
where there might be an area ofdiscomfort that can be
approached in a way that won'tbe traumatic and like you know
places where we can learn thingsand like learn what we don't
(12:06):
know and things like that.
Again, we probably will getthere on our own, but it's going
to take longer without somebodyto point to those things.
So, yeah, but the fact that ittakes longer to do this stuff on
your own is not necessarily abad thing.
(12:26):
Like when something is alifelong process, like we know
intuitive eating and anti-dietwork to be, it's okay for it to
take, however long it's going totake.
So like it's good to have ourexpectations set properly so we
don't get discouraged.
But none of this is to say likeit's going to take longer and
(12:49):
so it's the wrong way to do itor anything like that.
It can.
It takes as long as it takes,whether you're working on your
own or with somebody else.
We just want to set theexpectation of how it might be
different.
Sadie Simpson (13:01):
Yeah, I like that because I mean, I think with
this and with everything, wejust have this expectation that
we have to meet certainbenchmarks by a certain time,
whether that is in school orlike I think about my kid, they
have these age appropriatebenchmarks they're supposed to
reach, but every kid isdifferent so they might not hit
them at certain times and it'sthe same thing for this, like
(13:24):
everybody's timeline is going tobe a little bit different when
they, you know, when certainthings start to click or when
certain things need moreattention, and stuff like that.
Naomi Katz (13:33):
Yeah, absolutely, and it's all okay and it's all.
Quote unquote normal yeah,normal yeah.
The second thing to keep inmind is that intuitive eating,
anti-diet work is not somethingthat you can just learn about.
We have to actually be applyingit also.
Sadie Simpson (13:55):
I love this and I think this is a really, really,
really important one, becausein so many food programs, diet
programs, weight loss programs,whatever you have it like there
are, there's always a framework.
There's always some sort ofrules, some sort of guideline,
either like a list or anumerical system or a point
system or something that youhave to memorize and follow, and
(14:18):
this is not that like there isno like hard and fast protocol
that you have to memorize andlike carry in your brain forever
, and I think that that is it'sweird.
Like it is a little bit weirdbecause we're so used to like
following a protocol.
Naomi Katz (14:38):
Yeah, that is absolutely true, and this is not
.
This is just not that Like.
You could essentially be ableto recite the intuitive eating
book backwards and forwards, beable to host your own intuitive
eating podcast, but if you'renot practicing, like the
application of these principlesand these concepts, it's not
(15:00):
going to matter.
Nope of these principles andthese concepts it's not going to
matter.
Nope.
So, again, you know, themajority of the folks that I
work with absolutely have readthe intuitive eating book.
Like I said, like their work onthis stuff doesn't start when
they contact me right.
Like, they've probably read thebook.
They probably have at least oneintuitive eating podcast that
they listen to.
(15:20):
They definitely followdifferent professionals on
Instagram and, like,intellectually, they know what
the framework of intuitiveeating entails.
They know about you know thefailure rate of diets.
They know that diet culture isharmful and oppressive and all
of that stuff.
They know that the old ways arenot working for them and that,
(15:46):
like they don't really buy intothe old ways anymore and they're
still struggling to make itwork with their own lives.
Intuitive eating, like thatthey're still struggling to make
the intuitive eating stuff workfor them.
They kind of feel like theyjust can't apply that
intellectual knowledge to theirown lives.
(16:08):
Like they're in this constantstate of like cognitive
dissonance of what they knowversus what they feel and stuff
like that.
And that's totally normal.
That is a totally normal partof this process.
Again, if you're doing this onyour own, you are 100% going to
go through that part of it, andthe reason for that is because
(16:32):
you do need to learn intuitiveeating intellectually.
You do have to learn it, butyou can't just learn it.
It is a practice, it issomething you do and that's
going to look different foreveryone.
So, like, learning itintellectually is great, but we
(16:54):
need to practice the actual,like pieces of it in order to,
like, get to a point where we'rebridging that gap between our
intellectual understanding andour internalized beliefs and
understandings gap between ourintellectual understanding and
our internalized beliefs andunderstandings.
Like, we need to see how thetheory actually applies to our
lives, like our own personalactual individual lives.
Sadie Simpson (17:17):
Listening to you talk about this it makes me
think about things like yoga andmeditation and stuff like that,
because, like I mean, I like totake a yoga class for like the
flexibility and the quietnessand that sort of thing, but you
always hear the instructors.
They're like this is a practiceand like the really hardcore
yoga people are really likeimmersed in it and integrating
all of the yoga things intotheir lives.
Naomi Katz (17:38):
So they kind of.
Sadie Simpson (17:39):
I mean it kind of makes me think of that sort of
as an analogy.
Like you can understand that,yeah, you're going to get a
little bit of flexibility and alittle bit of stretch and you
can lay there on the mat andrelax, but like to really
immerse yourself in that world,in that lifestyle.
I don't really know what tolabel it, but it's a whole
different thing than just to gothrough the motions then to like
(18:00):
actually apply the principlesand the practices to your life.
Naomi Katz (18:03):
Yes, and the more you practice it so like, the
more you actually go and get onthe mat and do the stretch and
like and like understand howmoving your body in a certain
position, doing this or that,like how that feels in your body
and what it does in your body,and how the muscles stretch, how
(18:25):
the muscles activate, stufflike that.
The more you're going to getout of it, the better it's going
to serve you Like, the moreunderstanding you're going to
gain because you're going to seeit in action, versus just
understanding the concepts andstuff like that.
And this is very much the sameas that.
So I hear I can already hearwhat does that mean?
(18:49):
And that's fair.
There are some great you know.
So, first of all, our nextepisode is going to be all about
bite-sized practices andapplications of the intuitive
eating principles and anti-dietwork that you can like, practice
and apply yourself.
So stay tuned for that.
(19:09):
Also, the intuitive eatingworkbook is a great resource
with some like practical, likeexercises and applications,
although I always like to givekind of a content warning for
that, which is that theintuitive eating workbook was
not updated at the same time in2020, when the intuitive eating
(19:30):
book was updated and so itdefinitely still has some
concepts in it that are kind ofsteeped in like healthism and
maybe like lingering diet-ystuff.
So just like, go into that withyour eyes open and if you have
questions, like, find somebodyto ask those questions.
(19:51):
I also love the your Body IsNot an Apology workbook by Sonia
Renee Taylor.
It's something that I use withmy clients regularly, and then
there's also a very recentlyreleased workbook this was
released by Christy Harrison oflike, the Food Psych podcast and
(20:13):
Anti-Diet and the Wellness Trap.
We all love Christy Harrison,but Christy Harrison, judith
Metz and Amy Pershing all workedtogether to release recently a
workbook called the EmotionalEating, chronic Dieting, binge
Eating and Body Image Workbook.
I got a copy of it right away.
(20:34):
It is really good.
I definitely would recommendlike and it avoids a lot of the
triggery stuff that is stillpresent in the in the actual
intuitive eating workbook cool,I'll have to check this out so
those are some places to startwith how to apply it, because
(20:54):
just because you're doing thison your own doesn't mean you
can't take advantage ofresources that are out there and
available, and so workbookslike that are a great option.
Okay, expectation number threethe thing to keep in mind as
you're doing this on your own.
It's about way more than food,and I know we have talked about
(21:15):
this a ton also, but, like Iwant to be really clear about
what we mean by that and how, ifyou're working on this on your
own, like that is some why it'ssomething that's so important to
keep in mind.
So like you can force yourselfto eat all the cookies and pizza
in the world and not make anyprogress on the deeper stuff.
(21:38):
Like you can force yourself toto eat the, to eat the pizza, to
drink the milkshake, to dowhatever, and still constantly
feel guilt, fear of weight gain,mental restriction, all of that
stuff.
So like, yes, you need topractice honoring hunger.
You need to practiceunconditional permission with
(22:01):
like off limits foods.
You need to practiceunconditional permission with
like off limits foods.
You need to practice foodneutrality, like all of those
things that has to be part ofthis practice.
And you also have to be doingthe internal work of unpacking
anti-fatness, ditching dietculture, building self-trust,
reclaiming autonomy, thinkingcritically about the sources of
(22:23):
our narratives, values, work,like all of that other stuff.
Like we can't just be like well,I told myself it was stupid not
to have the cookie, and so Ihad the cookie, but then I felt
terrible about having the cookie.
When we're doing this work onour own, it is much easier to
(22:43):
just focus on the food and it'ssuper easy to just stop at the
food.
But that leaves us in thisstate of like, that constant
cognitive dissonance, and thething to remember is that stage
of cognitive dissonance is goingto happen for everybody.
(23:04):
Again, even folks working witha professional are going to go
through that part of it, abattle Like you're not going to
have that sense of like, oh, Iate the thing, but I feel
(23:24):
terrible about eating the thing,but only if we do the work to
unpack what's underneath thefood.
Otherwise we don't get to theplace where it feels better and
so like that's sometimes that'swhat I see happening.
Like when I look on like forumsabout intuitive eating and
people are like no-transcript.
Sadie Simpson (24:11):
And that's hard.
Naomi Katz (24:12):
It's so hard.
Sadie Simpson (24:13):
Again, like when people come into this work, like
we want it to be about the food, we won't just fix the food and
to fix the eating situation andthen everything else will be
fixed.
But it's really not all aboutthat.
Naomi Katz (24:25):
Yeah, and again, it's especially hard when you're
doing it by yourself, becausethe stuff that's under the food
is the really hard stuff it'sthe single leg it's the lunges,
it's the single leg.
Work that you don't want to do.
It's the lunges, it's thesingle leg work that you don't
want to do and you are like more.
(24:48):
It's so easy when you're doingit by yourself to just let
yourself off the hook from thatstuff.
Forget that.
I'm just doing squats, I'm notlunging, exactly Like this is
fine, but like it's your, we'reactually like keeping ourselves
from moving into a morecomfortable, like better place
with food if we're only lookingat the food, yeah Okay.
Thing number four to keep inmind is that it is okay to have
(25:15):
negative feelings as we do this.
Yay, thanks for validating thenegativity, yeah, and we really
have to acknowledge and acceptthose negative feelings as part
of this process.
So we've used the beach ballanalogy before that Bree Campos
uses that I just love so much of.
(25:35):
Like you know, you can kind ofthink of these negative feelings
as like a beach ball where youcan push it underwater.
You can kind of think of thesenegative feelings as like a
beach ball where you can push itunderwater and like it's fine,
as long as you're continuing topush it underwater, it'll stay
there.
But like you have to keepexerting energy to keep it under
there or it's just going to popup again Unless you actually
(25:59):
acknowledge it and like do whatneeds to be done to deflate the
beach ball like once and for all.
Yeah, um, and so yeah, you haveto acknowledge the beach ball
and before in order to be ableto deflate the beach ball.
Basically, the thing is thattrying to just like be positive
about everything doesn't work.
(26:20):
We so intuitive eating,anti-diet work, all of that
stuff.
There's a lot of kind ofpositive sounding terms that we
use to talk about the process,right, like making peace with
food, body acceptance, joyfulmovement, gentle nutrition, like
these are all things that havelike positive sounding vibes,
(26:46):
right, like calm and positiveand nice, but that doesn't mean
that those things feel positiveor calm or nice in the moment.
It also doesn't mean that thenegative feelings aren't like a
normal part of the process.
So, like we can accept ourbodies and still hate going
(27:10):
shopping or feel superfrustrated when a store doesn't
have our size, or feel reallyangry when we get marginalized
at the doctor or feel really sadwhen we can't do something that
we used to be able to do.
We can honor our hunger and wecan make peace with food.
And we can still feel superannoyed by how expensive
(27:31):
groceries are and like how it,now that we're actually eating
regularly and enough, we have topay more for groceries.
Like we can also be reallyannoyed at how often we end up
realizing we have to stop to eat, especially in the beginning,
when, like we're maybe noteating enough every time and so
(27:52):
we get hungry again.
Very often it's like everysingle time I try and increase
the amount of water I'm drinking, I spend the entire time pissed
off because of how often I haveto pee, and like that doesn't
mean I shouldn't be doing it,but like also I have this
(28:14):
feeling of annoyance.
That's fine.
So, like, the fact that thesethings are like positive things
and the fact that we're doingthings that sound positive
doesn't mean that they don'tsometimes come with totally
normal negative emotions as well.
And if we try and pretend thatwe never feel any negative
(28:34):
emotions about any of this stuff, then we're just pushing that
beach ball underwater andeventually it's going to pop up
and we're going to be like fuckit, I'm not doing any of this
anymore, whereas if we canacknowledge it as a normal part
of the process, like we're goingto be able to stick with it a
lot longer.
We're going to be able torealize that, like we're allowed
to have a full range ofemotions around all of this
(28:57):
stuff and a lot of times thiswork comes with like a much
deeper grief and anger that weneed to process and we cannot
skip over that part.
Like so like there's theday-to-day negative feelings
that might come up with thisstuff, and then there's like the
deep, hard negative feelingsthat like we have to look at,
(29:26):
feelings that like we have tolook at, and again it's the same
, again, it's the single legwork Of the analogy.
I don't want to do it and a lotof times like, even if we're not
working with an intuitiveeating professional, maybe we
need to work with a therapist,like maybe we do need some other
kind of support to processthose really deep emotions.
But we have to do it like that.
We have to work through thenegative stuff.
(29:49):
We can't just like loveourselves through this process.
Well, that's not true.
We should love ourselvesthrough this process.
We can't just like toxicpositivity our way through all
of this.
There's got to be like a namefor that.
Yeah, we can't just like slap ona smile and be like everything
is fine, that's not going to getus anywhere, nope.
(30:10):
And that is because the otherthing to keep in mind is this is
really hard, so hard, this isso hard.
It is emotionally hard,mentally hard, socially hard and
even like physically hardsometimes, especially like as
(30:32):
we're trying to learn our bodycues and stuff like that.
Again, that's also true whenworking with a professional, but
, you know, when you're doing iton your own, it's just so
important to remember that it isnormal for it to be hard.
I think that one of the mainthings that I do with clients is
(30:53):
remind them that the fact thatit's hard is normal and not
because they're doing anythingwrong.
And not because they're doinganything wrong, like that is one
of my primary functions as anintuitive eating coach is
telling people that that, yes,this is hard and that's normal.
Yeah, because it's so easy tofeel like this shouldn't be that
(31:18):
hard, like this, like I must bedoing something wrong, I must
be, like you know, notprocessing something, right, I
must be like holding on to toomuch old stuff, like just like
we take that blame on ourselves,which makes sense, right,
because in diet culture, if thediet doesn't work, it's because
you did it wrong yeah, and it'slike, no, you're not doing
(31:43):
anything wrong.
This is hard, and it's normalfor it to be this hard, and so
if you're doing this by yourself, you need to be able to remind
yourself of that too.
Sadie Simpson (32:04):
Cause.
Again like another thing I haveto tell myself still to this
day this is hard Like it, it's,it gets easier, but it's still
not like the easiest thingthat's ever happened.
The easiest thing I've everdone in my life, by any means,
oh, definitely not, definitelynot.
Naomi Katz (32:17):
And like, every time you peel back a new layer it's
like, oh, that was hard.
Again for a minute, back a newlayer.
It's like, oh, that was hardagain for a minute.
And yeah, just knowing I getit's expectation, setting it so
that, like when it gets hard,you don't go.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Oh I guess I don't know what I'm doing, or this
isn't working and like ditch ityeah we always want to keep in
mind that other people may notunderstand what we're doing.
Sadie Simpson (32:46):
They don't and they won't and everybody won't.
Some people- will like if you'reyou know, in community with
other people who are doing thesame thing, that's one thing.
But, like when you're in theworld with other people with
other experiences and opinionsand things like that, things are
going to be, they're going tobe weird, they're not going to
understand it.
Like I've had so manyconversations with family
(33:06):
members and friends and evenclients and people who have come
to my classes and stuff, whohave maybe bought the intuitive
eating book or the workbook orhave listened to the podcast,
and they've told me they're likeyeah, I'm excited, I'm going to
try this intuitive eating thing, and then a month or so later
they're like well, it's notworking, I'm not losing weight,
I think I'm just going to moveon, I think I'm going to give up
(33:28):
and go to the next thing.
And it's like it is just so, so, so hard, even if we are
immersed in it, for other peoplewho are hearing about it or
maybe experimenting with itthemselves, to get out of that
mentality Like we already talkedabout, like that 21 day fix or
that 30 day, you know whole 30or whatever.
It's just really really, reallyhard, but it's yeah, there's
(33:54):
other people add another dynamicto it, for sure, definitely.
Naomi Katz (33:59):
And like I can't even tell you how many times
I've been like, oh, I'm anintuitive eating coach.
And then people will launchinto this like, oh, intuitive
eating, that's so great.
And then, like launch into thiswhole thing about like
essentially like clean eatingand like quote, unquote healthy,
natural, like clean, all of thethings that like it.
(34:23):
Just so, so much moralityaround food and I'm like that's
not, but okay, so there's,there's that part of it.
And then there's also the partof it where, like, you get
pushback from people and this isgoing to be especially true for
folks in larger bodies who aregoing to get a lot of shit for
(34:46):
not dieting, for not pursuingweight loss anymore and all of
that stuff.
You know you get to make thechoice about how much you want
to explain to people, how muchyou want to engage with them,
how much you want to engage withthem.
If you want to do that at all,like I often just kind of go
(35:14):
yeah, okay, and just and justkind of like smile and nod,
because I just know, like eitherbecause situationally or
because the person themselves,like I just know that I'm going
to waste my own energy trying toexplain what intuitive eating
actually is, to somebody who isconvinced that it's about clean
eating.
Other times, for instance, whenthere's like an issue of like
(35:37):
weight stigma going on, I willspeak up and say something and
like set a boundary or whatever.
It depends on what feelsimportant in the moment, what I
have the energy for.
We've talked before about likethere's so many different ways
to respond.
We have multiple episodes abouthow to respond to this stuff
from people which, if this is aplace that you're at, definitely
(36:00):
go back and listen to those.
Definitely go back and listento those.
But yeah, like it's just a factthat this can feel really
isolating when you first startdoing it, because people don't
understand, people are againstit, it pisses people off, like,
and it's just that's a reallyhard place to be in, especially
(36:24):
because you're probablyprocessing a million really hard
emotions at the same time andpeople will say to you the exact
things that you are trying tounpack and unlearn and that's
very hard.
Sadie Simpson (36:41):
It is very hard.
Naomi Katz (36:44):
So, yeah, that's an important thing to keep in mind,
that, like it's rare that youtell people you're doing this
and people actually understandand are really supportive of it.
Yeah, and you know the lastthing.
So number seven is that youhave to practice self-compassion
(37:04):
as you go through this wholeprocess.
Honestly, I think that's thething that ties all of these
other things together.
Just, you know you're not doingthis wrong.
You are not taking too long,like again, you know, when we're
talking about how long thistakes, like remember how long
(37:25):
you've been indoctrinated intodiet culture.
Like, of course, it's going totake a long time to unpack that.
You're also not the only onewho's struggling.
You're not the only one who'sfeeling negative feelings.
You didn't start this work toolate.
You didn't know what you didn'tknow when you didn't know it
(37:47):
right, like.
All of that is true and it's soimportant for us to like be
gentle with ourselves, toforgive ourselves for what we
haven't, what we didn't know, or, you know, what we put out into
the world before we.
Just we have to be so, socaring with ourselves through
this process, like because nowwe can't move backwards, like we
(38:11):
can't go back in time andchange stuff Like we can only
move forward, and the thing tokeep in mind is that literally
every little bit of work that wedo on this is world-changing,
like actually truly life andworld-changing and so like just
(38:32):
baby steps, just little littlebits, and every single piece of
it matters and that's just.
We have to just remember thatand just like treat ourselves
the way we would treat anybodyelse who was doing something
really, really hard.
Sadie Simpson (38:52):
I like that because we often don't give
ourselves enough credit, like wewould give other people all the
praise and all the you knowgood job and everything but for
ourselves.
We never give ourselves a paton the back exactly.
Naomi Katz (39:04):
And again, like when you're working with a
professional, there's somebodythere to pat you on the back and
tell you what a good job you'redoing and like point out those
little like point out theprogress that you're making,
because it takes forever, butthere's progress the whole time
and every piece of that progressmatters.
And so, like trying to setyourself up to like also notice
(39:27):
that progress.
Like you know, maybe that meansthat, like once a month, you
sit down and go what's differentthis month than last month?
Or once every three months,once every six months, like
whatever, and just like reallynoticing even the littlest
things that might have shifted,so that you can remind yourself
that you are doing work, but,yeah, just treating yourself
(39:49):
like you would anybody else whowas doing something really,
really hard.
Sadie Simpson (39:54):
We should do this more often, with everything.
Naomi Katz (39:58):
I mean truly.
Yes, that is very true.
So anyway, we hope this wasreally helpful.
If you're working throughintuitive eating or through
anti-diet work, kind ofgenerally on your own, we hope
that it helps to like maybe setsome expectations and you know,
I don't know just help keep yougoing through things that, like
(40:22):
you know, we just we don't wantanybody to feel these feelings,
think they're doing it wrong,and then give up because it's
worth it, and so if this canlike keep people going just a
little bit longer, that is, thatis really our only hope here.
It is.
Having said all of this stuff,if you do want to get some
(40:46):
support in this work, I do havea few options for you that are
available right now.
So all of these options you canfind on my website at
happyshapesco, under the workwith me section.
The first option is that I havespots open for one-to-one
intuitive eating and anti-dietcoaching.
(41:07):
So I do one-on-one coaching inpackages of six, nine or 12
months.
I offer payment plans and otheraccessible pricing options.
The packages include weeklyZoom calls, voxer messaging,
access between calls, copies ofthe intuitive eating workbook
and the your body is not anapology workbook.
And again, all of thatinformation, including where you
(41:30):
can submit your application, ison my website, happyshapesco
slash coaching.
I also offer, like one-off paywhat you can coaching calls,
called mindset reset calls,pay-what-you-can coaching calls,
called Mindset Reset Calls.
Those are individual,one-hour-long calls to discuss
specific sticking points withouta long-term coaching commitment
(41:51):
, and you can get theinformation about that and sign
up for a call at happyshapescoslash Mindset Reset.
And then, lastly, I amcurrently trying to gauge
interest for a fall cohort of mygroup coaching program, nourish
and Bloom.
So that's a 40-week groupprogram that includes weekly
(42:11):
written content, monthly groupcalls, monthly journaling
prompts and an online communityspace, and you can get all the
information about that athappyshapesco slash, nourish and
bloom waitlist, and Idefinitely recommend that if
you're at all interested in thatgroup program, you please get
on the waitlist, because that'show I will know if there's
(42:34):
enough interest to run the fallcohort.
So, again, you can do all thisstuff on your own.
This is not like you can't doit on your own, so you have to
work with me, but if you wantsupport, I am here for you.
Anyway, sadie, what'ssatisfying for you right now?
Sadie Simpson (42:50):
This kind of goes along with our episode a few
episodes ago when we talkedabout like photos and and how we
see ourselves in photos andthings like that.
We just got back from a trip tothe beach and this year, for the
first year in a long time, Iwore like I always wear a two
piece bathing suit.
But I wore a two piece that waslike just a regular like bikini
top and like high waistedbottoms.
(43:12):
But the last few years I'veworn one that's got kind of like
dangly stuff sort of down, soit kind of covers up my stomach
for the most part.
But this year I just wore aregular old two piece for the
first time in a really long timeand my body is bigger now than
it has been ever and takingpictures at the beach I was like
, okay, what's this going to belike?
(43:33):
But like, my mother-in-law andmy other family members took
pictures at the beach and it wasone of those things it's like
for a second you're like, okay,this is what I look like now.
But it was a very like neutralfeeling so I felt very good
about that.
I'm glad we recorded thatepisode a few weeks before I
went to the beach, so that wasvery helpful and it felt very
satisfying.
Naomi Katz (43:53):
That's awesome.
I love that story so much, yeah, um, and I can't wait to see
pictures, yeah, of your trip tothe beach.
Sadie Simpson (44:03):
I didn't.
I didn't really take any, butluckily everybody else in my
family took lots.
So I guess they'll post them onFacebook and hopefully tag me
in them.
We'll see that's awesome.
Naomi Katz (44:12):
Also like the hopefully tag me in them is like
such a flip from like oh my God, I hope they don't tag me in
them.
Sadie Simpson (44:20):
That's awesome.
What's satisfying for you rightnow?
Naomi Katz (44:25):
This is.
This feels so stupid, but thesocial media algorithm, the
Instagram algorithm, has beensuch an absolute shit show for
so long.
Now, the past couple of weeks,I've had a couple of posts like
(44:47):
actually like get engagement anddo relatively well, like
certainly better than anythinghas done in months and I don't
know.
It was very satisfying to justhave this moment of like, not
feeling like I was at war withthe social media algorithm, to
like have anybody ever seeanything that I post, cause it's
(45:09):
not like we don't put work intothose things right?
Sadie Simpson (45:12):
Yeah, it's not like you, just slap it up there.
Naomi Katz (45:14):
Like it takes a lot of work, oh my God.
And then and then, Instagram isjust like oh, you have like
3000 followers.
You wanted five to see thispost right.
It's like sure, yeah, so yeah,it was really satisfying to just
have like a couple of poststhat just felt like they easily
got engagement and it wasn't afight.
Sadie Simpson (45:36):
That is very satisfying.
I'm very happy for you.
Naomi Katz (45:40):
Thank you.
Sadie Simpson (45:42):
Also so if you enjoyed this episode, please be
sure to leave us a positiverating and review on Apple
Podcasts and Spotify, or you canalso come and find us on
Instagram.
We are at satisfactionfactorpodand we love hearing from you.
Naomi Katz (45:57):
That's it for us this week.
We'll catch you next time, you.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.