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November 11, 2024 22 mins

In this episode of the 'School for School Counselors' podcast, host Steph Johnson discusses a major misstep she nearly made by trying to follow someone else's advice rather than staying true to her authentic style.

She explores the unrealistic expectations placed on school counselors, scrutinizing the ideal ASCA model and encouraging listeners to focus on meaningful change rather than unattainable perfection.

Steph highlights the significance of becoming an expert in areas that create real impact instead of adhering to scripted tasks, and urges school counselors to pursue authenticity and connection in their professional roles.

00:00 Introduction: A Near Miss and a Lesson Learned
00:47 Welcome to the School for School Counselors Podcast
01:59 The Misstep: Following Someone Else's Plan
03:06 The Importance of Authenticity
06:45 Rethinking School Counseling Goals
07:20 The Reality of School Counseling Standards
14:59 Becoming an Expert and Making a Difference
19:15 Conclusion: Embracing Change and Staying Motivated


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I almost made a huge mistake this week and I'm a
little bit ashamed to admit it,but I want to be real with you.
I want to be totallytransparent about where I stand
in the school counseling world,and you know I have a lot of
very big opinions about somethings happening in our industry

(00:22):
.
But I almost messed up, and soin this episode, I want to tell
you about not just one, but twomissteps One I actually made and
one I almost made and why Idon't think they're for the best
outcome of the schoolcounseling world.

(00:42):
Best outcome of the schoolcounseling world, man, how about
that?
For a tease, right?
Welcome back, my friend, to theSchool for School Counselors
podcast.
I'm Steph Johnson, your host, afull-time school counselor,
just like you, on a mission tomake school counseling more

(01:02):
sustainable and more enjoyable.
I believe that each and everyone of my colleagues that
includes you deserves support,validation and empowerment, and
that's why I founded School forSchool Counselors, where we can
take practical tools and makethem actually work in the real

(01:23):
world, in the situations thatyou face on the daily.
I want to bridge the gapbetween what they taught you in
grad school and what's reallygoing on through our School for
School Counselors community andalso through this podcast, so
that you can feel competent,connected and inspired to make a

(01:44):
difference, even if you areworking in one of the worst
schools on the face of the earthand I've been there, my friends
, I know what that feels like.
I want you to feel fullysupported.
So what is it about thismisstep?
What did I do?
I'm going to be totallytransparent with you.

(02:06):
I'm recording this the nightbefore it is supposed to be
published.
I had another podcast episoderecorded and ready to go and it
just wasn't feeling right andit's part of the mistake I
almost made.
But let me backtrack just alittle bit.
So if you listened to the lastepisode of the podcast which I

(02:29):
believe was episode 123, youheard some changes in the
podcast format.
I introduced a technique of theweek.
I was giving some schoolcounseling news and I said that
we were going to mess aroundwith it in the podcast to see
how it went.
I wanted to give you a littlebit of variety.

(02:50):
I wanted to give you a littlebit of change, and I was also
listening to someone who wastrying to advise me on ways to
make my podcast better, whichfundamentally isn't a bad idea,
right, but here's where theproblem came in.
I was blindly following someoneelse's plan and I quickly

(03:12):
realized my brain doesn't workthat way.
I have always conceptualizedthis podcast as a sort of coffee
chat between me and you.
And when I have to start doinga lot of pre-preparation, when I
have to start outliningtechniques and news and where do
they go and how does it all fitin and does everything fit

(03:33):
around a common theme, it startsto stress me out and it really
changes the way that I approachmy work on this podcast.
I don't feel it's as authentic.
It almost feels like there'smore of a distance between you
and I and so far it just hasn'tproven to be very enjoyable.

(03:53):
Now part two of the mistakecame when I recorded what was
supposed to be this week'spodcast episode and I followed a
little format.
I had a planning sheet in frontof me and I was plugging all
this information in, and when Igot finished with that podcast
episode and I sat back and Ilistened to the recording, I

(04:16):
thought gross, that feelsterrible.
I hate that.
That feels terrible.
I hate that.
And I think the reason that Ihated it was that it was not
authentic.
It was not genuine.
It was trying to fit all thesepegs into the right holes, and
that's not me.

(04:37):
One of my greatest joys inrecording this podcast is just
sitting down and just talkingwith you, just letting you know
what's on my mind, what I'mseeing in the school counseling
world, and maybe a little bitabout how we can make our work
feel better and feel moresustainable, because we need
good school counselors in ourschools and there are some folks

(05:02):
out there that are droppinglike flies and I don't want you
to be one of those people.
So I've always really valuedthe fact that I sit down to
record the podcast right beforeit goes out.
I'm not one of these peoplethat records weeks or months in
advance, because I want to bevery true and very real to
what's happening in real time.

(05:23):
So that's the mistake I almostmade, combined with the mistake
I made last week, and I decidedyou know what.
We are just going to scrap thatfor now.
We may go back to it eventually, but what I really want you to
hear through this wholeconversation is my heart for you
.
This podcast isn't aboutpromoting an agenda.

(05:44):
It's not about trying to sellyou into something.
It's not about convincing youto see me as an expert in our
field.
Rather, it's about empoweringyou to be able to do your best
work, to be able to feel likeyou've been seen and heard, and
to know that you're not byyourself in the challenges that

(06:06):
you experience each and everyday you walk through the school
doors.
If I've accomplished that goal,then I've accomplished my
mission, and even just talkingthis piece out with you feels so
much better.
So if this format isn't for you, if you don't enjoy the
fireside chat, I welcome youmove along to another school

(06:29):
counseling podcast that doeswhat you need it to do.
But if you're valuingauthenticity, if you are valuing
connection and evenrelationship through this
podcast, then I think you're inthe right place.
So I want to talk this weekabout the change that you want

(06:50):
to see in your work and on yourcampus, and I'm wondering if the
change that you're chasing isactually the change that you
want.
I'm wondering if you have youreye on the right prize Now.
Far be it for me to stand injudgment and tell you what you

(07:10):
should or should not be pursuing, but I do want to provide you
with a different viewpoint thanyou normally hear in our school
counseling world.
You know, and I know that asyou're trained in grad school
all we hear about is the ASCAmodel, right, asca-aligned
programs, comprehensive schoolcounseling programs, counseling

(07:32):
duties and non-counseling duties, and direct and indirect hours,
and blah, blah, blah.
It goes on and on and on and on.
Standards, mindsets, ethicalcodes, all the things.
And there is a lot ofamazingness to that.
There are a lot of great partsto that information and there is
a lot of great aspirationalcontent.

(07:53):
To be sure, it provides us withgoals and benchmarks to try to
meet, but I think sometimes weperceive that as meaning that
our job needs to be attainingcomplete perfection in the ASCA
world, that unless we'veattained a truly comprehensive

(08:15):
program, we've failed, thatunless we're towing the line
with a true 80-20 ratio, we'vefallen short.
And there are a lot of you outthere who are feeling like
you're never going to meet thatstandard.
You're feeling like there aretoo many barriers in your way

(08:35):
and there's no way that you canactually reach those benchmarks.
And you would be right, becauseuntil there are some seismic
shifts in the foundation ofeducation, not all of us are
going to hit that.
I was struck by that.
Today I was meeting with mySchool for School Counselors

(08:56):
mastermind members, in a monthlysession that we hold called
Data Discussions, and onecounselor asked me point blank
Steph, what do you do all day?
And I said you know what.
Instead of trying to explain itto you, let me pull up my
calendar and let me show you.
And as I showed her thatcalendar and the things that I

(09:19):
had been responsible for in thepast few weeks, it punched me in
the face how far out ofalignment of what we would
consider to be an ideal ASCAprogram I actually am.
But I'm going to be real withyou and tell you that I have
been able to develop theconfidence and the expertise to

(09:45):
be okay with that, because I'mrunning the data in my program
that shows me that I am makingthe impacts on campus that are
needed Outside of this etherealmodel.
I'm doing what needs to be done.
So what about you?
Are you achieving the changesthat you want to see?

(10:07):
Do you have a true handle onwhat direction you're going and
why?
What initiatives are youimplementing and why?
What needs to happen next?
What initiatives are youimplementing and why?
What needs to happen next?
Do you have a conceptualizationin your mind of how your school

(10:31):
counseling program needs togrow in the next two, three or
five years, or do you simplyshow up every day and execute
tasks?
Do you keep walking through thedoor trying to hit these
benchmarks, knowing that younever will?

(10:51):
I love to listen and read SethGodin's content, and one of the
things he talks about isbecoming a cog in a system that
doesn't care about you.
Is that where you are right now?
Because I've talked with manyschool counselors over the past
few months that feel exactlythat way that no matter how hard
they try, no matter how muchthey care, no matter how much

(11:12):
knowledge they demonstrate, thesystem sees them as a cog in a
wheel and they feel like ahamster, just constantly running
, putting out fire after fireafter fire, with no inkling of
anything changing anytime soon.
I spoke recently with myMastermind members in a session

(11:35):
we did about preventing burnout.
That was a very impactfulsession that had a lot of
insights that you don't normallyhear in the burnout
conversation, but one of thepoints of that that I think I
may have alluded to on thepodcast before is about human
giver syndrome.
It's the idea that in society orin organizations, there is this

(11:59):
presumption of two types ofpeople.
There are the human givers, whoare expected to give all of
their time, talent, autonomy orexpertise to a cause that they
are to make things happen at allcosts.
They are the nurturers, theyare the doers, they are the
go-getters.

(12:20):
And then, on the other side ofthe human givers, we have the
human beings.
The human beings are the onesthat are allowed to sit in the
full expression of theirhumanity, to be the person they
were meant to be, to do the workthey were meant to do.
They were meant to be, to dothe work they were meant to do,

(12:43):
to feel full and rich andappreciated for that, while the
human givers are on the side,toiling away, toiling away,
toiling away, because that'stheir obligation.
You see the difference, andsometimes I think we get trapped
into this human giver syndromeon our campuses.
We think we're doing the rightthing, we're giving it
everything we have, we have ourhearts in it, we're doing it for

(13:07):
the good of the kids.
Have you ever said any of thatto yourself or to others?
But if we're just executingtasks, it's easy to become that
cog.
So what kind of reputation,then, are you creating for
yourself at school?
Are you creating a reputationas a changemaker, as an advocate

(13:32):
or as an indispensable expert?
Are you seen and credited withimproving the quality of
students' educations, or are youseen as a minion doing things
that anybody could do?
Are you using scripted lessonsor groups?

(13:53):
Are you called constantly forbehavior redirection?
Are you called constantly forbehavior redirection?
Basically, as Godin would say,is it write-downable?
If the majority of your taskson your campus each day are
write-downable, you won't beseen as awesome, because your

(14:15):
staff and your administrationwill look at you and say well,
anybody can do that.
Anybody can download aso-called curriculum off
Teachers, pay Teachers anddeliver it, and for the most
part, they're right.
Anybody can teach social skills.
Now that one's a little moredebatable.

(14:35):
But can anyone sit and holdspace for a student in the
middle of trauma?
Can anyone spend the time andintentionality to build
relationships with parents thatno one else has been able to do

(14:56):
just yet on your campus?
Those are the things you needto be looking toward when you
strive to be seen as this kindof expert on your campus.
It makes you better at becomingan expert, and this isn't about
your ego.
This is about the potential forchange for you as a
professional, for your campusand, most especially, for your

(15:19):
students.
This striving for expert statusdoesn't have to happen all at
once.
You don't have to be anovernight sensation.
You can conceptualize it as aseries of projects.
Pick an initiative on yourcampus, something that needs

(15:40):
attention, look for thequestions that no one seems to
have any answers to, and becomethe change you want to see in
those situations.
I had an experience with thisrecently One of the students on
our campus that just no onecould figure out.
What do we do with them?
Their behavior is off thecharts.

(16:03):
They can't connect with anybody.
We can't get the parents tocall us back.
What do we do, man?
I took that task on and by thetime we were done, the student
had made strides in theirbehavior.
They were learning to developrelationships with other people
on the campus and I had figuredout the reason that the parents

(16:24):
seemed to be so disengaged andit wasn't anything like what we
were imagining at first.
That contributed to my expertstatus.
I could have ignored thatsituation.
I could have said ah, that'sbehavior intervention.
You guys, take that one.
I'm going to continue doingthese small groups over here.
I'm going to pull anotherso-called curriculum off.

(16:47):
Teachers Pay Teachers and readthat out loud and have the kids
color some pictures.
I could have done that, butthat stuff was right downable
and my intervention with thatstudent was not, so it created
more of a sensation and it alsocreated greater gains.

(17:11):
Seth Godin says we mistakenlyspend more time trying to figure
out how to win the game we'rein instead of choosing what game
to play in the first place, andI have never heard anything
that speaks more clearly andtruthfully to the journey of a
school counselor.
We spend all this time, all ofthis attention, all of this

(17:38):
wringing of hands and grindingof teeth trying to figure out
how do we win this game we're in.
How do we bring ouradministrators over to our side?
How do we impress upon themthat we don't need two hours of
lunch duty every day, that wedon't need to be teaching social
skills groups from bell to bell?
How do we do that?

(17:59):
How do we get all these thingsin place?
How are we able to finallycreate and implement a
comprehensive school counselingprogram Instead of talking about
what game are we playing?
Do we really need that status?
Do we need to be recognized asa ramp school, unless it's a

(18:23):
non-negotiable in your area,unless it's just been made an
expectation where you are.
I personally wouldn't chase it.
Instead, look toward the gameyou want to play.
The best surfers find the bestwaves.
They're looking for the biggest, the most powerful, the easiest

(18:46):
or the best to surf on.
I don't know, I'm not a surfer,but you know what I mean.
They're looking for thatperfect wave.
You hear them talk about it allthe time.
What's your perfect wave?
Where can you find it and whatcan you do to ride that thing
out, to change the game on yourschool campus and no longer be

(19:10):
seen as a cog in a system?
Y'all just thinking about thatand the potential for change,
not only on your campus butacross the educational system as
a whole, is mind boggling.
But across the educationalsystem as a whole is
mind-boggling when we startthinking about really addressing

(19:35):
the true needs on our campusesinstead of chasing this
idealistic vision of what schoolcounseling could be under the
perfect circumstances, I thinkabout what that would look like
across a large scale and it justmakes my heart smile, because
not only would we be making suchtremendous impacts on our
campuses and for our students,but man think about how many

(19:57):
happy and healthy schoolcounselors we would have working
in education.
School counselors who don'tfeel beaten down, who don't feel
misutilized, who don't feelunderappreciated, who are able
to walk in and do their workevery day, knowing that, even if
the pace is still frantic andthe work is still hard, that

(20:20):
they're being appreciated fortheir efforts, that their
intentions are being seen andthat they truly are making a
notable difference for studentsand families.
It might be a crazy dream, butI tell you I am here for it.
I think it could be so powerfulif we all adopt this mindset.

(20:43):
And if nothing else, even ifyou feel like you're standing
there doing this all by yourselfand you're all alone because,
my friend, I'm here to tell youI feel that way.
Often in the work I do in Schoolfor School Counselors and the
issues that I strive to bring toyour attention on the podcast,
I do often feel like that lonevoice out in the wilderness just

(21:06):
waiting for someone to come andjoin me.
I know what that feels like,but I also know that if we can
keep our eye on the prize, if wecan keep our head turned toward
the direction, we know we needto be moving, and if we keep
watching for those perfect waves, the opportunities are going to
present themselves.

(21:27):
And when they do, what awonderful, wonderful ride that's
going to be.
I hope you found this a littleinspirational, motivational,
certainly helpful in your workcoming up this week.
I tell you all the time, but Iwant to say again how tremendous

(21:47):
I think it is that you continueto raise your hand each day and
say I'll do that, I'll do thatjob.
What's the worst you have, I'lltake that.
It takes a tremendous heart andan amazing soul to be able to
stand up to do this kind of work, and I think you're tremendous
and I know that your students dotoo.

(22:08):
I'll be back soon with anotherepisode of the School for School
Counselors podcast.
In the meantime, I hope youhave the best, most amazingly
awesome week.
Take care.
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