Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, school
counselor, welcome back to the
School for School Counselorspodcast.
I'm so glad that you've joinedme for this episode.
It's been so heavy on my hearthere in the last week or so, so
I actually had a differentepisode prepared for you, but
this one was just leaning on meso hard.
As we are coming throughSeptember, we're ending the
(00:22):
beginning of the school year,excitement.
The reality is starting to wearin for so many of our students
and our staff, and we're headingheadfirst into Shocktober, and
so there's so much that's goingto be happening.
Right, the pace has beenfrantic, it's been frenzied, and
we know it's only going to getmore and more interesting.
(00:45):
I know the good news is we arenot going to be bored while we
are at work for any day thatwe're there, but the bad news is
we're going to have to come upwith some better ways to manage
some of the responsibilities inour programs, and so that's what
I want to talk about this weekas we talk about developing
habits.
(01:05):
Now, before you roll your eyesand think, steph, I don't have
time for one more thing in myday, I don't need to talk about
habits.
I know how to make thingshappen.
I want you to stick around.
I want you to listen with anopen mind because you know, if
you've been listening to thepodcast for any length of time,
I'm always striving to bring youthe most up-to-date, the most
(01:27):
empirically validated researchthat I can find, and often it's
going to challenge what youassume you know.
So hang in here with me.
I promise I'm going to make itwell worth your time.
Hey, before we jump into that,I would love to share another
one of the amazing reviews thatwe received for the podcast
recently from Glenda the Good,and they titled their podcast
(01:51):
review Great Resource for Newand Seasoned Counselors.
Then, underneath those fiveshiny gold stars they gave us,
the review went on to say thisthis is my second year as a
school counselor, but my 38th ineducation.
Steph gives great advice andencouragement through her
podcasts.
She also shares wonderfulresources and ideas that are
(02:15):
easily implemented.
So happy to have found thisresource.
Thank you, glenda the good, forthat.
It just touches my heart whenall of you are willing to take a
few minutes and leave apositive review on the podcast.
You have no idea what thatmeans to us, both in helping get
word out about the podcast, butalso to know that all this time
(02:37):
and preparation is worthsomething, that it's reaching
you and it's making a difference.
So thank you very, very much,that it's reaching you and it's
making a difference.
So thank you very, very much.
Before we go any further Ialways forget to do this I just
want to introduce myself.
I'm Steph Johnson, the founderof School for School Counselors
and a full-time school counselor.
Just like you, you know, Ioften get asked the secret I'll
(03:00):
put that in quotation marks ofhow I get everything done.
I'm a busy person.
I work full-time as a schoolcounselor with a student
population of just under 700students as a solo counselor.
This is a treat for me thisyear.
Last year I had almost 900.
So this has been a treat thisyear.
(03:20):
But in addition to workingfull-time in my school, I have a
family.
I have a teen and a tween in myhousehold that are running to
lots of different events andlessons and goings on.
I'm also married and my husbandhas a very unpredictable
schedule, and then I'm runningschool for school counselors.
(03:41):
You may see some things thatare easy to see on the outside,
like social media pages.
We have three of those theemails that I send to you during
the week podcast episodes andthings like that but then
there's also a ton behind thescenes that you don't see, like
scheduling, paying the bills,building and managing and
(04:01):
implementing materials in themastermind, maintaining the
website, consulting with otherpeople, answering emails and
questions.
There's just so many things thatare going on in my world, and
so, again, I get asked a lot ofthe time how in the world can
you possibly manage all that?
Now, the real answer is often Idon't feel like I'm doing a
(04:23):
very good job right.
There's always things that Iwish I could do better.
There's always things that Iwish I could do better.
There's always more that I wishI could get to, but for the
most part, I feel like I'mholding in there pretty well,
and so if there is a secret Iwould have to say the secret is
my habits.
I think without my habits, Iwould be an even bigger basket
(04:43):
case than I feel like I am now,but I have developed the
routines, procedures andstructure to carry me through my
day, and that's really what Iwant to talk with you about this
week.
How do you build habits thatstick even when life gets
chaotic?
Now, right before I recordedthis podcast episode.
(05:04):
I hosted a data discussionssession with my mastermind group
and we were talking through allof the different ways that
we're collecting data on ourcampuses what data we're
grabbing, why we're doing it,what's the outcome and what are
things looking like along thepath.
And we have lots of folks inthat group who attend our data
(05:27):
discussions events religiouslyEvery single month.
They're there wanting to learnand grow and improve their
efforts, but at the same time,they're experiencing a lot of
roadblocks in doing the kinds ofthings that they want to do.
And as we were talking thisafternoon, I mentioned, you know
, I don't think it's because oflack of willpower, I don't think
(05:50):
it's lack of education orintelligence.
I don't even think it's lack oftime.
What I really think it is isjust getting so bogged down in
our mental space that we can'teven stop and conceive that
there would be anything elsethat we would need to be working
on right, because we'reconstantly putting out fires,
(06:11):
we're looking at the next thingthat needs to happen and we're
just not sitting and thinkingabout capturing use of time data
, because it's not a habit yet.
But once we develop those habits, then it just becomes a
non-negotiable, if you've evertried to implement a new habit
(06:33):
intentionally.
It's sometimes like herdingkindergartners, which is also
like herding cats.
Right, you're trying to puteverybody together and get
everybody in a straight line,but there's always somebody and
usually more than one that'srunning off in the wrong
direction.
We have to have habits in ourlives to help us manage our time
, to help us stay on top of ourself-care and to be effective at
(06:57):
work, especially with thehelter-skelter way that our days
unfold, right, we don't evenknow what's going to be
confronting us when we walk inthe doors each morning.
We've got to have some habitsin place to make sure that we're
doing the right thing and thatwe're making our work
sustainable, that we don'tconstantly feel like we're in
(07:19):
reactive mode.
Our habits can really help uswith all of that.
Habits come from what we callthe habit loop.
Charles Dewey and the Power ofHabit talked about cue, routine,
reward, where we experience acue to the behavior, so
something reminds us or compelsus to do something Routine,
(07:43):
which is where these habitsactually become the habits.
We're actually doing them, andthen reward.
We get something out of it andthat's how we sustain that habit
loop.
Now, if you've worked with meregarding habits at all.
You'll know that I'm a huge fanof James Clear and his book
Atomic Habits, and he reimaginedthis cue routine reward loop as
(08:08):
cue craving, cue cravingresponse reward.
So we changed it up just alittle bit and I want to walk
through the pieces of this loopso you can think about the
components you have in placecurrently or perhaps some areas
where you could stand to improve.
Now these are not super intense.
(08:29):
They shouldn't be verytime-consuming or detailed, but
you do need to think aboutwhether or not you actually
possess them.
First is the cue, and in myexperience this is the piece
most people miss.
We think that just by exertingsome willpower we're going to be
(08:50):
able to remember to do this newhabit, and we know from
research and just human naturethat that's not the case.
We have to have something tomake it obvious to our brain
that this needs to happen.
This needs to happen.
(09:12):
James Clear recommends overtcues to get started with, things
like sticky notes or notes toyourself or alerts on your phone
or calendar reminders Somethingvery in-your-face and
non-negotiable to remind you toimplement the new habit.
Remind you to implement the newhabit.
(09:32):
You can also put someprocedural cues in place where
you say, after I do X, then I'mgoing to do Y, and you're
creating a bit of proceduralmemory for yourself, that one
takes a little bit more effort.
Clear recommends the more overtcues to start with.
But you need to have a cue andI can't tell you how many school
counselors I've worked with,both in our data discussions and
(09:56):
implementing initiativesthrough our mastermind and even
in our Get the Job program,where when we talk about
progress or lack of progress, Iwill ask about cues and find out
that they've not created anycues.
We give ourselves a lot ofcredit and we think we're going
to remember to do these things.
If I'm just intentional, if Ijust have enough willpower, I'm
(10:18):
gonna get it done.
But if you've ever gotten tothe grocery store and couldn't
remember your grocery list afteryou got there, you know Our
brains are not as reliable as weoften think they are.
You've got to have the cue tomake the behavior obvious.
Second, you need the craving.
There needs to be somethingthat makes this behavior
(10:41):
attractive.
It could be even just theanticipation of a reward that
makes a habit seem moreappealing.
We could build excitement inour brains for completing
something that we don't reallywant to do by pairing that with
something that we enjoy orsomething that gives us pleasure
(11:02):
.
I'll give you a couple ofexamples.
On my campus, I'm responsiblefor some IEP counseling.
I love it because it's directcontact with kids and that's
what I'm all about.
But when I do IEP counseling,there are some additional
roadblocks, because I'mconstantly chasing kids'
schedules to try to find them.
In an elementary school, a lotof our IEP kiddos have other
(11:27):
related services.
They're going to speech,they're going to occupational
therapy, they're going toacademic resource time, they're
going to any number of differentprograms on campus, and so
tracking them down within theircrazy schedules is really tough,
and so I find myself justwanting to put it off.
But when I remind myself of howdesperately I want to be rid of
(11:51):
the problem of chasing thesekids around campus, I seem to
find some more motivation to getit done.
Now, that's not a habit per se,but it gives you an idea of how
we can conceptualize this toreally make ourselves want to
complete.
So many times my use of timedata has saved my rear end or
it's provided proof in some sortof tricky conversation.
(12:14):
So I don't need a tangiblecraving for collecting my use of
time.
The anticipation of being ableto illustrate in black and white
the needs of a student is morethan enough for me to embark in
that journey.
Now, that may not be the samefor everybody, and that's okay,
but I'm just trying to give yousome thoughts about how do we
(12:34):
create a craving for the habit?
How do we make it attractive?
What's the payoff?
Third, we need a response.
The response needs to be easy.
So when we're looking to createa new habit and I'm just going
to go with the use of timeexample for now, because I know
that's one that a lot of schoolcounselors either want to be
(12:57):
able to do or are now mandatedto do we have to reduce the
friction around those habits tomake it as easy as possible.
If I'm looking to establish ahabit of collecting use of time
data, the last thing that I needis to have to sit down at my
desk, remember what I did forthe past two hours, find the
(13:19):
right spreadsheet file, openthat, scroll to the right day on
the spreadsheet and then entermy information.
If I have to go through all ofthose steps to complete that
task, I'm just not going to doit.
It's just too time consuming,it's too taxing and I'm probably
not going to be in the mentalspace to make that successful.
(13:41):
So instead it has to be stupideasy.
I need to have that spreadsheetup and open on my desktop all
day long, or I need to have aplanner open on my desk that I
can jot things down on the fly,or I need to schedule alerts on
my phone to remind me enter yourinformation real quick.
It's got to be as easy aspossible to implement it,
(14:05):
because if you're going through42 steps to start this new habit
, you're just not going to do itAll right.
So we've got our cue, we'vemade it obvious, we have our
craving, we've made the behaviorattractive and we have our
response that the behavior ismade easy.
The last piece in Clear'sframework is reward making it
(14:27):
satisfying.
In Clear's framework is rewardmaking it satisfying.
It does not have to be anythingbig.
It doesn't have to be going andbuying a new outfit or treating
yourself to a latte or any ofthe other things you usually see
people recommend.
It could be very small andimmediate, taking a five-minute
break, enjoying a snack, but theresearch tells us that that can
(14:49):
still significantly reinforceour habit formation.
Here's a silly example of that.
I keep a candy jar for staff inmy office.
I love it when people stop byfor a treat.
It gives me the opportunity tocheck in with them, see how
things are going, and I've hadsome of the best conversations
(15:09):
just from people coming to get alittle Snickers bar.
But I have a special reserve inmy supply closet.
I know it's there and it soundssilly, but if I let myself go
get one of those, it feels sospecial because it's different.
It's not always out andavailable.
My Ghirardelli chocolatesquares are a treat.
(15:33):
They feel like an indulgencebecause they're different from
what's available to everybodyelse.
So it doesn't matter how sillyit feels.
All that matters is does itwork for you?
But if we can repeatedly cyclethrough this loop of cue,
craving, response, reward we cancreate habits that are
(15:56):
automatic.
We don't even have to thinkabout it, we just create them.
A study by Neil Wood and Quinn2012, shows that almost half of
our daily behaviors are drivenby habit.
That means most of what we dois on autopilot.
(16:18):
It's a form of proceduralmemory.
So if we provide the contextand conditions to develop the
habit, y'all you can totallymake this happen.
So within that framework,there's also another pro move
you can use to really implementnew habits into your routines.
(16:40):
It's called habit stacking.
This is something that I talkedwith my masterminders about
today in their use of time andtheir campus data initiatives.
Habit stacking is attaching anew routine to one that already
exists, so the new habit iswriting the coattails of
something that you already do.
(17:03):
I sent an email recently aboutone of my morning habits.
I have a Keurig coffee maker inmy supply closet.
I even remember telling you man, be jealous of that's really
glamorous.
But every morning when I get towork, I go to the coffee maker
and I start a fresh cup ofcoffee.
That's the way that I start myday and I've just always, by
(17:24):
nature, preferred to do it thatway.
Once my coffee is ready and Iwalk back into my office from
the supply closet, the firstthing that I do is check my
emails that have come inovernight, and then I triage my
calendar and my to-do list.
That's the way I get my daygoing.
(17:46):
Before I started that habitstack, I would make a cup of
coffee and then I would wanderaround and I would just kind of
do whatever came to mind.
I might see who was already atwork.
What's going on with them, howare they feeling?
I might check my mailbox.
I might have been making copiesat the copier before everybody
else got to work, but it wasrandom every day and I never
(18:07):
really felt in control of how myday was starting.
Now, with my new habit stack, Idon't even have to think about
it, it just happens and I feelso much more prepared and
productive in my day.
Now I'm not suggesting that youcreate the same habit stack that
I have, but what are some waysthat you can piggyback off of
(18:28):
things that you already just do?
You don't even have to thinkabout it, they just happen.
How can you piggyback some newhabits on the back of something
like that?
Lally and team in 2010 lookedat real-world habit formation
and found that it takes anaverage of 66 days to form a new
(18:50):
habit and that by linking newbehaviors to existing routines,
you actually accelerate thatprocess because you're using the
existing pathways in your brainto catalyze those new behaviors
.
James Clear says that weconceptualize it as after this
(19:11):
current habit, I will do thisnew habit, and that's how you
can really integrate these newinitiatives into your routine
without feeling overwhelmed orlike you have to find a lot of
time or like it's going to betoo much.
It needs to be super specific.
As I'm drinking my morningcoffee, I'm going to spend five
(19:33):
minutes organizing my prioritiesfor the day Super specific.
And if you can do that, if youhave the cues in place to remind
you and you are diligent aboutit, typically in 66 days or less
, you are going to reap therewards of that practice.
(19:55):
Now, as we think aboutdeveloping new habits, we need
to remember that these habitshave to be very small and very
manageable.
If you try to introduce toomany habits at once, research
tells us it leads to failure.
It's just like herding thosecats we were talking about
earlier.
(20:15):
If we try to grab them all atonce, we're going to lose
control of them.
Right, they're going to berunning all over the place and
there's no way we can scoop themall up with two hands.
But if we focus on one at atime, we're much more likely to
get those little things where weneed them to stay.
(20:35):
We talk a lot about cueingsuccess in our mastermind, and
I've talked about that already.
It makes me think about a studycited by Neil, where there were
some monkeys who were trying toearn drops of juice.
They had a lever in theirenclosures and a light that came
(20:56):
on.
So once the light came on theycould push the lever and they
would get a couple of drops ofjuice.
And what they noticed was, whenthe monkeys were able to get
the juice, of course they gotthat dopamine hit.
They were very happy about thatand so when they had the
opportunity to push the lever,they were doing it because they
wanted to get the juice and theywere developing that habit.
(21:18):
But because there was also alight involved, they found that
eventually the monkey startedgetting the dopamine hit when
they saw the light light up,before they ever even hit the
lever for the juice.
So that is what happens when wecue ourselves effectively.
(21:40):
It could be your physicallocation.
Have you ever gotten in yourcar and seriously thought about
whether you should buckle yourseatbelt?
Usually not right.
As soon as you get in the caryou buckle your seatbelt.
That's a cue.
The environment for a lot ofaddicts can cue their cravings
right.
They don't even have to see orsmell alcohol or drugs.
(22:02):
Just being in the wrongenvironment can give them
overwhelming cravings.
You can also cue yourself byperforming a preceding step.
We just talked about that withhabit stacking.
First this, then that, andsometimes seeing a specific
person can cue behaviors for us.
There are lots of things in ourworld that can cue our
(22:25):
behaviors, so you can do thesame things After morning duty.
I'm going to triage my dailyintentions Things like that.
These small wins will start toaccumulate and create bigger
successes.
Wood and Neal 2007 showed thatthese small repeated behaviors
(22:48):
are more likely to turn intolong-lasting habits because they
feel less intimidating andthey're easier to integrate into
our daily routine.
So keep it simple.
Don't make it super complicated.
How can you cue yourself toengage in these new behaviors?
And then, last, I just want toremind you that this is all
(23:10):
about consistency, notperfection.
Developing new habits is notabout being perfect.
You are not perfect, I am notperfect.
Slip-ups are part of the game.
That's okay.
Lally and team found thatmissing one opportunity to
(23:32):
perform a new behavior did notmaterially affect the habit
formation process, meaning youcan't be an all or nothing
thinker.
You can't say, oh well, youknow, I missed yesterday.
I guess that all goes down thetubes.
There's no sense in trying now,which sounds kind of funny as
we talk about it, but you knowand I know, our brains often go
(23:55):
that direction.
Additionally, harkin and Team2016 found that habit tracking
and self-monitoring togethersignificantly increase the
chances of success in buildingnew habits.
This does not have to becomplicated.
It could be a habit tracker, itcould be something on paper
(24:18):
that you check off each day, itcould be a habit tracking app,
something like the Habit Trackerapp.
There's one called Habit Rabbit, there's one called Strides, or
it could be something even assimple as a sticky note.
It does not matter how youchoose to track these new habit
initiatives.
The important part is that youself-monitor and encourage
(24:42):
yourself along the way.
And then, last, if you can focuson the kind of person that
embodies the habit that you wantto develop versus the habit
itself, you are more likely tobe successful.
So you might tell yourself I ama data-driven school counselor
(25:06):
versus I want to collect use oftime data counselor versus I
want to collect use of time data.
Same idea, really, at its core,but the way that we
conceptualize it in our mind isa big deal.
It gives us a little moreself-compassion, a little bit
more opportunity for reflection,and it helps us see ourselves
(25:27):
as competent and capable ofreaching our goals.
You're kind of enforcing thosehabit building mechanisms from
the inside out, which is goingto make it feel so much more
easy and effortless.
All right, so that was a lot ofinformation to throw at you.
Who knew habits could be socomplicated?
Let me break it down for youand kind of try to bring it all
(25:51):
together.
Habits operate in a loop.
I like James Clear'sconceptualization of cue craving
, response and reward.
We need to make sure that wehave those components in place
to urge us on towards success.
Start small and focus on onesimple task at a time.
(26:13):
Use habit stacking to link newbehaviors to the routines that
you've already established, andremember that consistency is
your goal, but perfection is not.
You don't have to be perfectall the time, and I wouldn't
want you to be, because then youwould lose some of the best
(26:34):
things about you that make youamazing.
Next week, the topic's going tochange a little bit.
In the podcast, we're going tobegin a month of episodes
focused on serving specialstudent populations, and I'm not
just going to be talking aboutspecial education in 504.
We're going to take a globalview of how school counseling
(26:57):
looks when we're servingstudents with different kinds of
disabilities.
We're going to look at specificchallenges we face as school
counselors and some of theoutdated practices that are
still very common in our world.
They hurt my heart.
And then we're going to get youready for your holiday outreach
(27:19):
initiatives, because that ofteninvolves a substantial amount
of your special studentpopulations.
So make sure you hit subscribein your podcast player.
You're not going to want tomiss any of these upcoming
podcast episodes, I promise you.
So your action plan for thisweek One subscribe to the
(27:39):
podcast.
Two start one new habit stackroutine this week with a cue,
craving, response and reward.
If you'd like a planning sheetto help you out with that, go to
the show notes here in yourpodcast player of choice and
we'll have a link for you todownload it lickety-split to get
your habit stack going.
(27:59):
I'll be back soon with anotherepisode of the School for School
Counselors podcast, but in themeantime, I hope you have the
best week, take care and keepbeing awesome.
I'll see you soon.