June 30, 2025 • 17 mins
You’ve got the heart. You’ve got the training.
So why does it still feel like no one’s listening?
This episode is about the invisible skill no one taught you, but everyone responds to.
The one that separates the school counselors who get looped in…
from the ones who get left out.
It’s not confidence.
It’s not charisma.
And it’s definitely not another credential.
We’re talking about the kind of presence that shifts the energy in a room.
The kind of clarity that builds trust when things get tense.
The kind of leadership that doesn’t wait to be handed a title.
If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I’m doing... so why don’t they see it?”
You’re closer than you think to the answer.
Press play, and let’s talk about what makes a school counselor undeniable.
*********************************
⭐️ Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us! ⭐️
**********************************
Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Did you ever walk out of a meeting and think, man, I
wish I would have said that, butI didn't know how to say it
without making things worse?
Or you just had to stand theresilently while someone sort of
questioned you or your role oncampus, and you knew how you
felt about it, but you didn'tquite know what to say.
(00:20):
That's not a confidence problem.
It's actually a fluency problem, and it's the difference
between being dismissed behindyour back or being the go-to
when things get hard.
It's time for us to have somestraight talk about what makes a
(00:40):
school counselor absolutelyundeniable.
Hey, my friend, welcome back.
I'm Steph Johnson, a licensedprofessional counselor and
full-time school counselor, justlike you.
If you're tired of schoolcounseling advice that sounds
like it came from Pinterest,you're in the right place Around
(01:03):
.
Here we're keeping it real,we're keeping it grounded and
I'm giving you tools and ideasthat actually work, because you
deserve more than prettygraphics and empty promises.
So in the last episode of thepodcast, we talked about
something that I know a lot ofschool counselors are quietly
(01:25):
wrestling with Should I get myLPC and leave school counseling
altogether?
We walked through the pros andthe cons and the realities of
licensure, but today we're notgoing to talk about what happens
in life after school counseling.
We're going to talk about whatmakes you powerful within it,
(01:47):
because, whether or not youpursue clinical licensure, there
is one thing that we need tohave absolutely crystal clear
Undeniable counselors don't getthere through credentials.
They can help, but what reallymakes you undeniable is fluency,
(02:09):
and today we're going to talkabout what that really means and
what it looks like in action,because we've all felt it that
moment in a meeting where everyother person at the table is
being treated like aprofessional and you're the one
(02:30):
being voluntold to do the thingsthat nobody else wants to do.
So it makes sense that in ourline of work, we start looking
for credibility boosters.
Credibility boosters, maybe ifI had my LPC, maybe if I
(02:51):
attained RAMP status, maybe if Iearned this other certificate.
But y'all, I know a schoolcounselor who earned RAMP,
celebrated it with her schooldistrict team and a week later
that same school districtannounced that they were cutting
school counselor positions.
No joke, she didn't even knowif she was going to be in the
same place the next year or ifher co-counselors were even
(03:14):
going to have a job.
So no, respect does not comefrom those kinds of credibility
boosters or plaques.
It comes from how you operatein the room, how others
experience you, and it alsocomes from fluency.
In research on schoolimprovement, breik and Schneider
(03:40):
found that relational trust wasa better predictor of campus
success than test scores orcredentials.
Let me say that again that ishuge and it is not something
that you normally hear withinthe educational rhetoric.
More than test scores orcredentials, the better
(04:04):
predictor of campus success isrelational trust, my friend.
That kind of trust is builtthrough personal regard,
demonstrated competence, respectfor everyone's roles and
integrity over time, and I hopethat those feel familiar,
(04:28):
because they should.
Those are the things thatfluency also creates.
We're not leaning on scripts orframeworks, but we're building
an ability to see what reallymatters in real time, to be able
to say those things clearly andto lead, especially in
(04:51):
difficult situations, with calmconfidence.
Fluency builds trust and trustbuilds access, and that's what
makes you undeniable as a schoolcounselor.
Being respected is not justabout what you've earned on
(05:13):
paper.
It's more about what you bringand how consistently you bring
it.
It's like counseling itself.
You know that theories matter.
It's like counseling itself.
You know that theories matter,but they only work when they
bring yourself into the room.
The strength of thatrelationship will outweigh the
(05:34):
technique any day of the week,and the same thing applies when
you're building professionalinfluence as a school counselor.
So let's try something different.
Let's picture this You're inyour real-life school building,
the bell is ringing, your emailalerts are dinging, you're
(05:59):
halfway through your coffee andyou're already behind.
And then your administratorshows up.
They say discipline concernsare up in seventh grade.
We need to do something fast.
Can you put together a smallgroup for these students?
Ask yourself in this moment doyou know how to assess if a
(06:21):
small group is even the rightresponse?
What would you need to know todetermine that, and would you be
able to confidently suggest analternative?
Or would you be able to say yes, with conditions that protect
your time and outcome?
(06:41):
Those are some tough questions,aren't they?
Let's imagine you're in thatsame school counseling office on
that same campus.
Imagine yourself there about torun off to the next fire that
needs to be put out, and ateacher pulls you to the side
and says I've told you aboutthis student's behavior three
(07:03):
times and nothing has changed,and I don't know what else I'm
supposed to do Ask yourselfwould you be able to address
that issue in the moment withoutsounding dismissive or
overwhelmed?
Because that's an art, myfriends for sure.
I'm continually trying tomaster it.
(07:24):
I'm not sure I'm there yet, butcould you do it?
And then could you guide thatteacher with clarity in the
moment and still walk away withyour boundaries intact and not
having created any more work foryourself.
Those are tough, right, this isfun.
(07:44):
Let's look at another one.
What if you open your inbox andyou see a parent emailing you
and they're saying we haven'tseen any improvement with our
child.
What exactly are you doing tohelp?
I bet you've gotten one ofthose a time or two in your
career.
In that moment, ask yourself doyou have a go-to way to respond
(08:06):
that's professional andself-protective, or can you
explain your role at your schoolin a way that builds trust with
that parent instead of friction, without giving them the
opportunity to say well, Iemailed the school counselor and
they just didn't even care.
Again, this is the art part ofschool counseling, right?
(08:30):
It's nuance and mastery.
Let's do one more.
Let's imagine this.
This is like the interviewquestions that you often get for
school counseling.
There's a kid sobbing in thehallway, a teacher is calling
for support with the classroomsituation and a parent is
waiting for you in your office.
(08:50):
What do you do?
Do you have a triage process inyour mind that you could
immediately go to and trust?
Can you prioritize in real timewithout panicking?
This is fluency in schoolcounseling.
If any of those scenarios madeyour stomach drop a little bit,
(09:13):
it's okay.
Of those scenarios made yourstomach drop a little bit, it's
okay.
We all should have felt alittle moment of oh, I'm not
sure.
Within those scenarios, it justmeans you're ready to grow.
There are three places that youneed to build fluency if you
want to be seen as a trusted,essential and authoritative
(09:35):
presence on your campus.
The first place that you needto develop fluency, surprisingly
, is not in your schoolcounseling approaches or your
curriculums or your small groupplans.
It's with regard to youradministrator's goals and fears,
because a lot of the times wefeel like our principals might
(09:57):
be ignoring us and really theymay just not understand how to
best utilize you.
So if you show up to advocateand it sounds like well, that's
really not a school counselorappropriate responsibility, or I
need more time for tier one onthis campus it's probably
falling flat.
(10:18):
Fluency means that youunderstand your administrator's
pressure points test scores,classroom hours, pr optics and
all the other things that areweighing on their shoulders on
(10:39):
their shoulders and you start toexplain your work through those
lenses.
That doesn't mean that youabandon the expectations of your
role, but it also doesn't meanthat you keep quoting national
models that they don'tunderstand.
You've got to lead withrelevance to your administrator,
with relevance to youradministrator.
(11:01):
Secondly, you need to buildfluency with teacher needs and
struggles.
Teachers are flippin'overwhelmed and they don't need
more to-dos, they don't needmore platitudes.
They need somebody that gets it.
They need somebody that gets it.
Let's say a teacher walks up toyou and says this student is a
disaster every day, allafternoon.
(11:21):
It starts after recess and itnever stops.
What could you do?
You could take the student anddo a quick calm down routine.
Right, might help in the moment.
You could ask for more contextbefore offering support.
You could offer to come in andwatch for patterns or do
(11:44):
check-ins and say you know,we'll follow up and build a plan
.
Or, better yet, you can say man, that looks hard, that looks
super frustrating.
Let's figure out how we canwork together on this and then
you have ideas and insights toback that up in real time, on
(12:08):
the fly.
That's fluency.
Speaking of real time, this isthe kind of fluency you don't
often hear people talk about inschool counseling.
When you're in that scenariowhere kids are breaking down and
teachers are asking for plansand parents want meetings, now
what you can't say is okay, holdon, let me go check my binder
(12:31):
and my curriculums.
You have to be able to lead inreal time, and that sounds
tongue in cheek, but, mygoodness, how many school
counselors do you see that areperfectly content to sit within
this tier one SEL teacher roleand completely rely on
frameworks and scriptedcurriculums?
(12:53):
Too many Ask school counselors.
If we want to build clout onour campuses, we must be able to
lead in real time, to not bereactive, to not toss out
responses recklessly, but bediscerning.
That's what we work on in ourSchool for School Counselors
(13:16):
Mastermind every week.
Fluency isn't something that youlearn in grad school.
It's something that youpractice when you have real
cases and you can get realfeedback with real support.
That's what our community isdesigned to offer.
Our members have said thingslike this Before.
(13:37):
I was feeling lost as a newschool counselor, I didn't know
where to start, but afterjoining the Mastermind I feel
ready and prepared.
I have wonderful suggestionsfrom others, tips that are great
for a first-year counselor andI'm ready to begin.
Or this one Before joining theMastermind, I was reluctant to
(14:00):
speak up in conferences or withadministration, but after I
trust my professional knowledgeand instincts more and I'm
increasing my counseling fluency.
Or this one, get a load of thisone.
Before joining the mastermind,I was constantly looking to
others for the quote-unquoteright way to do things and
(14:22):
thinking there were certainstandards I had to follow to
prove I belonged in thisprofession.
I've learned to trust my ownjudgment and experience to meet
the needs of my students in waysthat are responsive and
meaningful.
Y'all those are powerful.
That is what we are doing weekafter week in our School for
(14:42):
School Counselors Mastermind,but to the point.
You do not need anothercredential to be respected on
your campus.
You need clarity.
You need relationships that arerooted in trust, and all of
that comes through fluency,because school counselors who
(15:05):
lead with fluency change theircampuses and really our whole
profession from the inside out.
If you are ready to sharpen yourskills and show up with clarity
this fall.
I have something great for you.
You should join me in Best YearEver.
It's our annual freemulti-night event that helps you
(15:28):
step into the school year witha plan that actually works.
This isn't a veiled sales pitchor a bunch of random resources
you're probably never going tolook for again.
We are going to guide youthrough, step by step, the
things you need to know to growand how to get your school year
started off on the very bestfooting.
(15:49):
Go toschoolforschoolcounselorscom and
get your free ticket right now.
And then, if today's episodestirred something in you, I want
you to wait until next week,because I'm going to be starting
something new on the podcast.
I'm going to be starting aspecial podcast series called
(16:12):
Graded, where I'm going to takethe most common school
counseling tools, beliefs andpractices and put them to the
test.
I'm going to be asking thingslike does it actually work,
where did this stuff come fromand what's the grade that it
deserves within our profession?
It's going to be a lot of fun.
(16:34):
It's going to start in the nextepisode, but until then,
remember you do not have to waitor grab more credentials to be
undeniable.
You just have to start showingup like the awesome school
counselor you already are.
Take care, my friend.
Did you ever walk out of a meeting and think, man, I
wish I would have said that, butI didn't know how to say it
without making things worse?
Or you just had to stand theresilently while someone sort of
questioned you or your role oncampus, and you knew how you
felt about it, but you didn'tquite know what to say.
(00:20):
That's not a confidence problem.
It's actually a fluency problem, and it's the difference
between being dismissed behindyour back or being the go-to
when things get hard.
It's time for us to have somestraight talk about what makes a
(00:40):
school counselor absolutelyundeniable.
Hey, my friend, welcome back.
I'm Steph Johnson, a licensedprofessional counselor and
full-time school counselor, justlike you.
If you're tired of schoolcounseling advice that sounds
like it came from Pinterest,you're in the right place Around
(01:03):
.
Here we're keeping it real,we're keeping it grounded and
I'm giving you tools and ideasthat actually work, because you
deserve more than prettygraphics and empty promises.
So in the last episode of thepodcast, we talked about
something that I know a lot ofschool counselors are quietly
(01:25):
wrestling with Should I get myLPC and leave school counseling
altogether?
We walked through the pros andthe cons and the realities of
licensure, but today we're notgoing to talk about what happens
in life after school counseling.
We're going to talk about whatmakes you powerful within it,
(01:47):
because, whether or not youpursue clinical licensure, there
is one thing that we need tohave absolutely crystal clear
Undeniable counselors don't getthere through credentials.
They can help, but what reallymakes you undeniable is fluency,
(02:09):
and today we're going to talkabout what that really means and
what it looks like in action,because we've all felt it that
moment in a meeting where everyother person at the table is
being treated like aprofessional and you're the one
(02:30):
being voluntold to do the thingsthat nobody else wants to do.
So it makes sense that in ourline of work, we start looking
for credibility boosters.
Credibility boosters, maybe ifI had my LPC, maybe if I
(02:51):
attained RAMP status, maybe if Iearned this other certificate.
But y'all, I know a schoolcounselor who earned RAMP,
celebrated it with her schooldistrict team and a week later
that same school districtannounced that they were cutting
school counselor positions.
No joke, she didn't even knowif she was going to be in the
same place the next year or ifher co-counselors were even
(03:14):
going to have a job.
So no, respect does not comefrom those kinds of credibility
boosters or plaques.
It comes from how you operatein the room, how others
experience you, and it alsocomes from fluency.
In research on schoolimprovement, breik and Schneider
(03:40):
found that relational trust wasa better predictor of campus
success than test scores orcredentials.
Let me say that again that ishuge and it is not something
that you normally hear withinthe educational rhetoric.
More than test scores orcredentials, the better
(04:04):
predictor of campus success isrelational trust, my friend.
That kind of trust is builtthrough personal regard,
demonstrated competence, respectfor everyone's roles and
integrity over time, and I hopethat those feel familiar,
(04:28):
because they should.
Those are the things thatfluency also creates.
We're not leaning on scripts orframeworks, but we're building
an ability to see what reallymatters in real time, to be able
to say those things clearly andto lead, especially in
(04:51):
difficult situations, with calmconfidence.
Fluency builds trust and trustbuilds access, and that's what
makes you undeniable as a schoolcounselor.
Being respected is not justabout what you've earned on
(05:13):
paper.
It's more about what you bringand how consistently you bring
it.
It's like counseling itself.
You know that theories matter.
It's like counseling itself.
You know that theories matter,but they only work when they
bring yourself into the room.
The strength of thatrelationship will outweigh the
(05:34):
technique any day of the week,and the same thing applies when
you're building professionalinfluence as a school counselor.
So let's try something different.
Let's picture this You're inyour real-life school building,
the bell is ringing, your emailalerts are dinging, you're
(05:59):
halfway through your coffee andyou're already behind.
And then your administratorshows up.
They say discipline concernsare up in seventh grade.
We need to do something fast.
Can you put together a smallgroup for these students?
Ask yourself in this moment doyou know how to assess if a
(06:21):
small group is even the rightresponse?
What would you need to know todetermine that, and would you be
able to confidently suggest analternative?
Or would you be able to say yes, with conditions that protect
your time and outcome?
(06:41):
Those are some tough questions,aren't they?
Let's imagine you're in thatsame school counseling office on
that same campus.
Imagine yourself there about torun off to the next fire that
needs to be put out, and ateacher pulls you to the side
and says I've told you aboutthis student's behavior three
(07:03):
times and nothing has changed,and I don't know what else I'm
supposed to do Ask yourselfwould you be able to address
that issue in the moment withoutsounding dismissive or
overwhelmed?
Because that's an art, myfriends for sure.
I'm continually trying tomaster it.
(07:24):
I'm not sure I'm there yet, butcould you do it?
And then could you guide thatteacher with clarity in the
moment and still walk away withyour boundaries intact and not
having created any more work foryourself.
Those are tough, right, this isfun.
(07:44):
Let's look at another one.
What if you open your inbox andyou see a parent emailing you
and they're saying we haven'tseen any improvement with our
child.
What exactly are you doing tohelp?
I bet you've gotten one ofthose a time or two in your
career.
In that moment, ask yourself doyou have a go-to way to respond
(08:06):
that's professional andself-protective, or can you
explain your role at your schoolin a way that builds trust with
that parent instead of friction, without giving them the
opportunity to say well, Iemailed the school counselor and
they just didn't even care.
Again, this is the art part ofschool counseling, right?
(08:30):
It's nuance and mastery.
Let's do one more.
Let's imagine this.
This is like the interviewquestions that you often get for
school counseling.
There's a kid sobbing in thehallway, a teacher is calling
for support with the classroomsituation and a parent is
waiting for you in your office.
(08:50):
What do you do?
Do you have a triage process inyour mind that you could
immediately go to and trust?
Can you prioritize in real timewithout panicking?
This is fluency in schoolcounseling.
If any of those scenarios madeyour stomach drop a little bit,
(09:13):
it's okay.
Of those scenarios made yourstomach drop a little bit, it's
okay.
We all should have felt alittle moment of oh, I'm not
sure.
Within those scenarios, it justmeans you're ready to grow.
There are three places that youneed to build fluency if you
want to be seen as a trusted,essential and authoritative
(09:35):
presence on your campus.
The first place that you needto develop fluency, surprisingly
, is not in your schoolcounseling approaches or your
curriculums or your small groupplans.
It's with regard to youradministrator's goals and fears,
because a lot of the times wefeel like our principals might
(09:57):
be ignoring us and really theymay just not understand how to
best utilize you.
So if you show up to advocateand it sounds like well, that's
really not a school counselorappropriate responsibility, or I
need more time for tier one onthis campus it's probably
falling flat.
(10:18):
Fluency means that youunderstand your administrator's
pressure points test scores,classroom hours, pr optics and
all the other things that areweighing on their shoulders on
(10:39):
their shoulders and you start toexplain your work through those
lenses.
That doesn't mean that youabandon the expectations of your
role, but it also doesn't meanthat you keep quoting national
models that they don'tunderstand.
You've got to lead withrelevance to your administrator,
with relevance to youradministrator.
(11:01):
Secondly, you need to buildfluency with teacher needs and
struggles.
Teachers are flippin'overwhelmed and they don't need
more to-dos, they don't needmore platitudes.
They need somebody that gets it.
They need somebody that gets it.
Let's say a teacher walks up toyou and says this student is a
disaster every day, allafternoon.
(11:21):
It starts after recess and itnever stops.
What could you do?
You could take the student anddo a quick calm down routine.
Right, might help in the moment.
You could ask for more contextbefore offering support.
You could offer to come in andwatch for patterns or do
(11:44):
check-ins and say you know,we'll follow up and build a plan
.
Or, better yet, you can say man, that looks hard, that looks
super frustrating.
Let's figure out how we canwork together on this and then
you have ideas and insights toback that up in real time, on
(12:08):
the fly.
That's fluency.
Speaking of real time, this isthe kind of fluency you don't
often hear people talk about inschool counseling.
When you're in that scenariowhere kids are breaking down and
teachers are asking for plansand parents want meetings, now
what you can't say is okay, holdon, let me go check my binder
(12:31):
and my curriculums.
You have to be able to lead inreal time, and that sounds
tongue in cheek, but, mygoodness, how many school
counselors do you see that areperfectly content to sit within
this tier one SEL teacher roleand completely rely on
frameworks and scriptedcurriculums?
(12:53):
Too many Ask school counselors.
If we want to build clout onour campuses, we must be able to
lead in real time, to not bereactive, to not toss out
responses recklessly, but bediscerning.
That's what we work on in ourSchool for School Counselors
(13:16):
Mastermind every week.
Fluency isn't something that youlearn in grad school.
It's something that youpractice when you have real
cases and you can get realfeedback with real support.
That's what our community isdesigned to offer.
Our members have said thingslike this Before.
(13:37):
I was feeling lost as a newschool counselor, I didn't know
where to start, but afterjoining the Mastermind I feel
ready and prepared.
I have wonderful suggestionsfrom others, tips that are great
for a first-year counselor andI'm ready to begin.
Or this one Before joining theMastermind, I was reluctant to
(14:00):
speak up in conferences or withadministration, but after I
trust my professional knowledgeand instincts more and I'm
increasing my counseling fluency.
Or this one, get a load of thisone.
Before joining the mastermind,I was constantly looking to
others for the quote-unquoteright way to do things and
(14:22):
thinking there were certainstandards I had to follow to
prove I belonged in thisprofession.
I've learned to trust my ownjudgment and experience to meet
the needs of my students in waysthat are responsive and
meaningful.
Y'all those are powerful.
That is what we are doing weekafter week in our School for
(14:42):
School Counselors Mastermind,but to the point.
You do not need anothercredential to be respected on
your campus.
You need clarity.
You need relationships that arerooted in trust, and all of
that comes through fluency,because school counselors who
(15:05):
lead with fluency change theircampuses and really our whole
profession from the inside out.
If you are ready to sharpen yourskills and show up with clarity
this fall.
I have something great for you.
You should join me in Best YearEver.
It's our annual freemulti-night event that helps you
(15:28):
step into the school year witha plan that actually works.
This isn't a veiled sales pitchor a bunch of random resources
you're probably never going tolook for again.
We are going to guide youthrough, step by step, the
things you need to know to growand how to get your school year
started off on the very bestfooting.
(15:49):
Go toschoolforschoolcounselorscom and
get your free ticket right now.
And then, if today's episodestirred something in you, I want
you to wait until next week,because I'm going to be starting
something new on the podcast.
I'm going to be starting aspecial podcast series called
(16:12):
Graded, where I'm going to takethe most common school
counseling tools, beliefs andpractices and put them to the
test.
I'm going to be asking thingslike does it actually work,
where did this stuff come fromand what's the grade that it
deserves within our profession?
It's going to be a lot of fun.
(16:34):
It's going to start in the nextepisode, but until then,
remember you do not have to waitor grab more credentials to be
undeniable.
You just have to start showingup like the awesome school
counselor you already are.
Take care, my friend.
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