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February 1, 2024 17 mins

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Imagine a career where every interaction is an opportunity for growth, understanding, and connection. That's the vision I'm casting in this episode, as we talk through the "what-to-do's" of social emotional leadership in the world of school counseling. I'm unpacking the art of leading by example, drawing upon the wisdom of Bowers, Lemberger-Truelove, & Brigman (2017) to showcase how you can put social-emotional leadership into place through affiliative, visionary and democratic behaviors to create a DYNAMITE school counseling program.

Join me to dream and scheme toward an educational world where every school counselor is empowered to lead, inspire, and create change through the power of relationships.

Reference:
Bowers, H., Lemberger-Truelove, M. E., & Brigman, G. (2017). A social-emotional leadership framework for school counselors. Professional School Counseling, 21(1b). https://doi.org/10.1177/2156759X18773004


Mentioned in this episode:
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Our goal at School for School Counselors is to help school counselors stay on fire, make huge impacts for students, and catalyze change for our roles through grassroots advocacy and collaboration. Listen to get to know more about us and our mission, feel empowered and inspired, and set yourself up for success in the wonderful world of school counseling.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Steph Johnson (00:00):
Hey there, school counselor, welcome back to
another episode of the Schoolfor School Counselors podcast.
This one came out a little bitsooner than expected.
We started a really greatconversation in the last episode
and I wanted to keep it going.
I didn't want to lose a lot ofsteam between part one and part
two, so here we go with the nextinstallment Now, if you didn't

(00:23):
listen to the last episode, I'mgoing to encourage you.
Go back and catch episode number81.
It's the one right before thisone in your podcast player.
Go back and grab that one first, where we talk about the key
components of a social emotionalleadership framework.
This is based on an article byBowers, limburger, true Love and

(00:46):
Brighamon 2018, titled A SocialEmotional Leadership Framework
for School Counselors.
This is not my framework.
I want to be very clear aboutthat.
But we are going to start tountangle and tease out some of
the nuance in this.
In this episode, we were talkingabout how the skill sets of

(01:08):
school counselors positions usuniquely to a certain style of
leadership on campus, and it'snot your typical, you know,
committee leader, checklist,rubric sort of leadership as
much as it is leading by example.
It's about being really awareof our unique skill set, some of

(01:30):
our so-called soft skills, andreally making sure that we abide
by them in everything that wedo to really inspire other
people to take note of the waythat we do business and want to
emulate that as well.
So we talked about the keycharacteristics of emotional
intelligence as far as schoolcounseling leadership is

(01:52):
concerned.
We talked about the threecriteria needed for us to be
successful In this endeavor.
Those were being able toregulate our emotions, utilize
empathy as a rule and show wisediscernment in decision making.
And then we outlined the fivedispositions for social

(02:13):
emotional leadershipself-awareness, self-management,
social awareness, relationshipskills and responsible decision
making.
So if you missed any of those,it was a great conversation.
Go back and check the previousepisode to get all the
nitty-gritty details on those.
But today we're going tocrusade on and we're going to

(02:37):
talk about some specific thingsthat you can do to begin to
develop this kind of leadershippresence on your campus.
So the authors assert thatthere are three behaviors that
can sort of act like a catalystin changing school culture.

(02:58):
They're going to be the beststarting points we could choose
for working toward our end goals.
Number one is affiliativebehaviors, so this is focusing
on the development of personalrelationships and creating a
harmonious environment.
We are more driven toward thosegoals than we are toward task

(03:20):
completion.
This one is kind of what Ialluded to in the last episode,
where, you know, as a youngschool counselor, I often
dismissed this.
I just assumed that everyonewould want to get to know me, I
guess because I thought I wasthat awesome.
I'm not really sure.
It's kind of embarrassing toadmit now, but I think we do all

(03:43):
come onto a campus with thatidea in mind, because we're
taught that when we arrive on acampus we want to provide
interventions, that people aregoing to be very willing to
accept them.
They're going to be glad we'rethere, they're going to want to
know us and unfortunately that'snot always the case, right?
Sometimes it's not always thecase.
Sometimes it takes people alittle bit longer to warm up.

(04:06):
Sometimes they want to see whatyou're all about and there's
that whole trajectory fromknowing someone to liking them,
to trusting them.
You have to develop thoserelationships.
In our School for SchoolCounselors, mastermind, and in
our Get the Job program, weoften use the phrase high
visibility school counseling.

(04:26):
And what we mean by highvisibility school counseling is
not just being visible, not justbeing the face of your school
tick tock or sending outnewsletters or being in the
hallways or greeting parents inthe mornings.
We're not talking about thatvisibility.
We're talking about reallybeing available to people,

(04:48):
having the time to haveconversations, having the time
to really actively listen whenpeople are talking to you.
Take a moment and just thinkreally critically, really
evaluate yourself in this areaAbout how many times a day do

(05:08):
you feel you can slow down andreally actively listen to
another adult on your campus?
My guess is it's probablypretty rare, and I don't think
that that's a reflection of yourcharacter.
I think it's a reflection ofyour schedule.
It's a reflection of theendless responsibilities that

(05:31):
folks just keep piling on yourshoulders, and when you're
running 90 to nothing all daylong, it's hard to stop and
really key in on conversations.
It's hard to show that activelistening in relationships, but
it's so, so important.
As the article reminds us,active listening consists of

(05:53):
listening to the content of whatthe speaker is trying to say,
while also listening to thefeeling or emotion behind what
is being said, thencommunicating in turn that what
is expressed is fully understood.
Beyond our own opportunitiesfor active listening, how often

(06:13):
do you think teachers or staffon your campus get to experience
that kind of listening?
Probably not often, and so Ithink it's super important.
If you want to endear yourselfto your staff, this is how you
do it, not with moreinterventions, not with more

(06:37):
sticker charts, not with morecounseling sessions or guidance
lessons.
This is it.
You look them in the eye, youlisten to them and you reflect
back what they're actuallysaying.
You actively listen and, guys,we're masters at this.
We are masters at activelistening.

(07:00):
So that's the first set ofbehaviors toward developing a
social emotional leadershippresence, affiliative behaviors,
creating personal relationshipsand active listening.
Our second set of behaviors arevisionary behaviors.
This is where we identify avision for our school campus and

(07:25):
we show everybody at thatschool how they can contribute
and be a part of that vision.
We have to inspire otherstoward our goals for our campus.
What do we want for ourstudents?
How do we want to see themsucceed?

(07:46):
What can we do or provide inorder to guide them in that
direction?
How can they be a part of thesolution?
Those can be some superpowerful conversations.
Now, this is kind of where thearticle and I diverge a little
bit.
It's just a small matter ofopinion.

(08:08):
They lean the conversationtoward vision statements, some
ramp related behaviors in schoolprogramming.
I don't think that'snecessarily realistic for a lot
of school counselors, especiallythose of you listening to this
podcast.
I don't know that a visionstatement is going to get you

(08:29):
there, but it does make me thinkabout what we talk about all
the time and advocating from theinside out that competence
builds confidence and confidencebuilds clout.
If you are able to explainthings well to people, not with

(08:49):
the feeling of take my word forit or I'm the expert, just
listen to me, but truly explainthings well so that the people
you're talking to understand whyit is you're asking them to do
these things, it's going to makea big impression.
And as you become morecompetent in your content, as

(09:10):
you become more fluent in yourlanguage of helping and able to
explain the things that you wantto do on campus, you will
become more confident.
And as you become moreconfident and you build that
trust with your staff, you'regoing to build clout.
When you get to the clout stage, that's when people start
listening.
When you speak, they startpaying attention.

(09:32):
They might have been doingsomething else, but the minute
you open your mouth, they're allears.
That's attainable To me.
That's the heart of advocacy.
That is the heart of showingthat vision to your staff and
really getting them excitedabout being a part of it.

(09:53):
We have to inspire ourco-workers to help us inspire
our students.
The third set of behaviors wecan focus on in developing this
leadership presence aredemocratic behaviors.
This is collaborating withother people on campus,

(10:14):
empowering members of our groupto really take some leadership
and ownership of their own andassisting in decision making on
our campuses.
Again, that's where that cloutpiece comes in in building
fluency.
Part of that could also becollaborating with teachers,

(10:35):
collaborating with youradministrators or parents about
how SEL programs are deliveredon your campus, to really
involve stakeholders in theprocess, to provide a rationale
for why you do what you do, orgetting input on what you would
like to do, and really allowingothers to come into your frame

(10:57):
of reference for those things.
Who knows, you may come awaywith some perspectives or some
ideas that you never would havecome up with on your own.
A win-win for everybody.
The bottom line is this we havea unique ability to really

(11:17):
infuse social-emotional learningvalues and practices in our
schools.
We are trained to be supportive, but we are also trained to be
change makers.
That combination is likedynamite when we use it
effectively.
I hope this article was somegreat food for thought for you

(11:41):
in how you want to develop yourleadership standing on campus.
Looking at thissocial-emotional leadership
framework through the fivedispositions and also the
leadership behaviors shouldposition you to be a unique
influence on your campus.
One of the things that we talkedabout a couple of times here

(12:05):
was developing competence tothen breed confidence.
Then, once we become confident,we can begin to develop clout
on our campus.
If you feel like sometimesyou're having those
conversations on campus peopleare coming to you for ideas, for

(12:26):
advice, for guidance in somesituation on campus and you're
trying your darndest to explainit, but it just doesn't feel
like it's coming out right.
It's one of those things thatyou know is in the back of your
mind somewhere, but you justcan't quite verbalize it right
in that moment.
That means you've got some workto do in developing your

(12:49):
fluency.
Fluency is your ability to talkabout social-emotional concepts
at the drop of a hat.
You can talk about mentalhealth concerns, you can talk
about interventions and you cantalk about them in an
authoritative way.
It doesn't mean that you haveto be a walking encyclopedia of

(13:11):
everything known to schoolcounselors in all of history,
but it does mean that you have afirm grasp on the fundamentals,
that you can speak with someauthority to data-driven school
counseling, how it's implemented, why it's important and what it
does for your campus.
To be able to talk about theessential components of tiered

(13:34):
interventions on campus.
To be able to walk a teacherthrough behavior interventions
that they can try on their ownbefore they involve anybody else
.
To be able to walk through thecomplexities of evaluating a
student for 504 or specialeducation services and what that
might mean for them in thefuture.

(13:55):
Those may not be specific tasksthat are your responsibility,
but it's important to beknowledgeable about them.
The only way really to developfluency in these situations is
to have good conversations aboutthem.
Often.
The problem is we don't oftenget opportunities on our

(14:20):
campuses to have the same kindsof conversations over and over
again.
Typically, there are going tobe different situations,
different circumstances,different nuance.
That's going to necessitate adifferent kind of conversation.
So then, how do we build thisfluency if we never get the
opportunity to practice?
Well, it comes in the form ofconsultation.

(14:41):
My friends and you hear me talkabout it all the time, but it's
so, so important.
If you've ever been in thatsituation where you're standing
there thinking, um, um, I knowthis, I know, hang on, give me
just a minute, or you have tosay something like, oh, let me
get back to you on that, youmight want to think about
developing your fluency.

(15:02):
Our School for School CounselorsMastermind is a fantastic way
to develop that schoolcounseling fluency.
We have modules containingvideos and printables that will
get you up to speed on thethings that grad school forgot.
But then we also have ourweekly support and consultation
sessions where we talk throughissues on campus, where we

(15:24):
determine the next best steps,and through those conversations
either by listening or byparticipating, you begin to
develop the fluency that you soneed in order to develop clout
on your campus.
So I encourage you to go checkit out.
Schoolforschoolcounselorscom.
I can't wait to welcome you inthere.

(15:47):
You're going to get in thereand find out what an amazing
group of super stinking smartpeople are in there, and they're
just waiting for you to comeand join in the conversation.
Schoolforschoolcounselorscom.
All right, my friend, I hopethis was an enlightening series

(16:08):
of episodes.
I hope it really made you thinkabout your leadership style.
I know for myself I'm reallyreflecting on the empathy piece
for sure, not that I don'tstrive to show empathy in
everything that I do on campusbut I do think there's some room
for improvement.
When I get frustrated, when Iget overwhelmed or stressed, I

(16:29):
think I need to pay particularattention to that.
I think there's some room, too,to look toward that active
listening piece, to reallyslowing down and really soaking
in what other people are tellingme on the surface as well as
what they're trying to say, andthen just remembering to take
time to really developrelationships on campus, not

(16:54):
just with your students, butwith those who serve them.
So if you ever needed proof thatbuilding relationships is part
of your job, I just gave it toyou.
So there you go.
That's my gift this week fromme to you.
All right, I'll be back soonwith another episode of the

(17:15):
School for School Counselorspodcast.
In the meantime, I hope youhave the best week.
Take care.
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