November 3, 2025 • 20 mins
Some counselors never have to fight for their role- or explain their worth.
That’s not luck. It’s skill.
In this episode, you’ll learn how the most respected school counselors earn trust, keep influence, and make their programs untouchable, no “advocacy” required.
**********************************
Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
You sit down across from someone on a first date.
The waiter hasn't even come byto pour the water.
And this person starts listingeverything they won't do.
I don't date long distance.
I don't date anyone with kids.
And I never share my Frenchfries.
And on and on and on.
(00:22):
And you smile politely, but youalready know there's not going
to be a second date becausenobody wants to build a
relationship with somebody whowalks in like they're ready for
battle.
And you're probably honestlysitting there wondering, how
fast can I text an SOS tosomebody to come get me out of
this situation, right?
(00:42):
But imagine that same energyshowing up on a school campus.
A school counselor shows upannouncing all the things that
they won't do.
I don't do testing, I won't dolunch duty, bus supervision is
not for me.
And they're right about thoseboundaries.
But here's the problem (01:01):
they haven't yet built enough trust
for anybody to care.
That is the trap that so manyschool counselors are led into.
Because in grad school and inour internships, we're taught to
protect ourselves withboundaries.
(01:23):
But the truth is the loudest noon campus often comes from the
person that nobody's listeningto anyway.
So today I want to talk aboutthe power move your
administrator wishes that youwould make.
It's a power move that protectsyour time, builds your
credibility, and keeps yourplate clear without turning
(01:44):
every dang conversation into atug of war.
Keep listening and see if I'mright.
Hey school counselor, welcomeback.
In this episode, we're talkingabout something that quietly
destroys more school counselingprograms than budget cuts,
staffing shortages, orscheduling combined.
It's the erosion of trustbetween counselors and
(02:06):
administrators.
Our programs live inrelationships, and when that
relationship goes out of place,we start losing influence in
every single conversation.
So today we're gonna talk aboutwhat really protects.
And spoiler alert, it's notanother boundaries checklist.
So if you're ready for somestraight talk, my friend, some
(02:28):
clarity on your work, and maybea little bit of rebellion,
you're gonna be in the rightplace.
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
podcast.
Alright, so before we really getinto this, let's just define the
fear on the surface because Ithink this is real for every
school counselor I've ever met.
(02:50):
You're worried that if you don'tset boundaries, you're gonna
wind up doing work that doesn'tbelong to you, right?
That once something lands onyour plate, it is going to live
there forever.
And the moment that you try tohand it back, somebody's gonna
say, but you've always done it,or you're so good at it.
(03:10):
And I'll be honest, that fear isvery valid.
Most of us start buildingboundary walls because we've
been burned before.
We get tired of being the yesperson who ends up completely
exhausted because there are justso many things laid at our feet.
(03:31):
And to be fair, this strongdeclarative advocacy style that
you learned in grad school andthat you hear coming from Ask
didn't come from nothing.
It came from real counselorburnout.
It came from school counselorswho were tired of being
invisible, tired of feeling likethey were being used, or tired
(03:53):
of being told to be a teamplayer while they were
absolutely drowning.
But the thing they never tellyou is this approach only works
short term if it works at all.
It might get testing off yourdesk today, maybe, but long term
is going to completely sabotageyour influence.
(04:14):
And research backs that up.
When school counselors lead withrole defense, things like that's
not my job, or that's not anappropriate school counseling
duty, administrators startperceiving them as rigid rather
than resourceful.
Luveric and colleagues foundthat counselor autonomy doesn't
(04:35):
come from quoting standards, itcomes from principal trust in
our competence.
And Amateya and Clark discoveredthat administrators support
school counselors they see asproblem solvers, not role
enforcers.
So when every interaction startsfeeling like it's a negotiation,
(04:57):
administrators eventually stopnegotiating because it's human
nature, right?
When a conversation with acertain person always feels
tense, you naturally startavoiding it.
You've probably seen this playout in real life.
Maybe you've even been part ofit.
A school counselor draws somehard lines, no testing, no
(05:20):
covering classes, no extraduties.
And at first it feels reallyliberating and empowering.
But six months later, theyrealize their administrator
really isn't looping them intosituations anymore.
They're technically workingwithin their role, but they're
no longer in the rooms wheredecisions are being made.
Boden Orn's research found thesame thing.
(05:42):
School counselors who interprettheir role narrowly are invited
into fewer leadership decisions.
Their boundaries worked, but inthe process, they also walled
themselves off.
And Mason and McMahon latershowed that the school
counselors who did earn autonomyweren't the ones that refused
(06:04):
tasks first.
They were the ones whocollaborated first and then
renegotiated later.
So the timing here is criticallyimportant.
You gotta pick the right fightat the right time.
And this fear of having thingsplaced on your plate and never
coming off is actually hurtingyou.
(06:26):
The school counselors whothrive, the ones whose programs
grow, whose principles defendtheir time, whose boundaries
hold without having toconstantly renegotiate them.
And frankly, the counselors wholove going to work every day
figured something out.
They earn credibility beforethey draw the lines.
(06:48):
And that is the power move.
It's not about saying, hey, justgive me whatever you got.
I'll do whatever you say andI'll renegotiate it later.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about sequencing,earning trust first, and then
using that trust to secure therole that you actually want to
(07:09):
have long term.
And there's a really simple wayto do that through rapport,
reliability, and relevance.
First up is rapport.
You have to learn what mattersto your administrator.
What are their goals on thecampus?
What keeps them up at night?
And even if their goals don'tnecessarily match yours,
(07:32):
understanding them can give youa lot of power.
Because when you connect yourschool counseling work to their
priorities, you stop soundinglike the opposition and you
start sounding like you're inalignment.
The ultimate team player, right?
Then, second is reliability.
Do what you say you're going todo every time.
(07:56):
Small follow-throughs buildenormous trust.
And when your administratorfeels and knows that they can
depend on you, you don't have toargue for your time.
They'll start protecting it foryou because they believe that
you're going to do what you say.
They don't have to micromanage,they don't have to watch your
schedule like a hawk, becausethey know you're doing what you
(08:20):
say you're doing.
And third is relevance.
Frame your work in theirlanguage.
Instead of saying, Ask says Ishouldn't coordinate testing.
Say, you know, if I could handoff this testing, I could run
some more small groups thatwould probably cut discipline
referrals by about 20%.
(08:41):
So that means you're going tohave fewer disruptions, fewer
kids in your office, and we'regoing to have a lot more
instructional time withstudents.
It's the same boundary, but acompletely different reception.
Here's why that approach ofrapport, reliability, and
relevance works.
People don't follow logic.
(09:04):
They don't.
They follow trust.
They don't remember your chartsor your acronyms.
Your principal probably doesn'teven know what ASCA is.
They remember whether or not youmade their job easier.
They know whether they trustyou.
This is just the organizationalpsychology that's present in
(09:25):
every single workplace.
Research says trust precedesautonomy.
Dirk's and Ferenc Meta-analysison leadership trust showed that
credibility and consistencypredict freedom and influence
more than formal authority everdoes.
And in schools, Brick andSchneider found something even
more interesting (09:46):
that campuses high in relational trust didn't
just function better, they sawmeasurable gains in student
learning.
Y'all, that's how powerful trustis as an engine of your campus.
And then Edmondson's work onpsychological safety adds even
(10:06):
another layer to this.
Because when people feelrespected, they take risks and
they collaborate.
And when they don't, theyprotect themselves and progress
stalls.
Does that sound familiar?
You've probably seen it a day ortwo.
That's what's happening on somany of our school campuses
(10:26):
right now.
Counselors are protectingthemselves so hard, there's no
room left to collaborate.
So instead of burning energydefending your title and your
responsibilities, spend thatenergy building credibility.
That's the trade-off and that'sthe secret.
(10:47):
Be willing to give up someshort-term wins for some
long-term authority.
So let's make this real.
How can you start this week witha power move plan?
Step one, spot one prioritythat's really bothering your
(11:07):
administrator.
Step two, do something smallthat helps address that issue.
And then step three, tell themin their language how it worked.
That's it.
You just bought yourself massivecredibility points for the next
boundary that you might need toset.
(11:28):
That's how leaders operate inevery field.
Bass called it transformationalleadership, earning influence
through trust, not transactions.
And in our world, that lookslike an administrator who says,
I trust your judgment, do whatyou need to do.
So let me be clear, there is afine line between being
(11:53):
collaborative and getting used.
But the school counselors whonavigate that line best
understand that their timing andtheir tone are everything.
If you start to fight beforeyou've built trust, you're
labeled difficult.
But if you build trust first,that same no is seen as a
(12:17):
judgment call.
Look at it this way (12:18):
you can spend your whole career guarding
your plate, or you can build arelationship where no one dares
pile things on it in the firstplace.
So let's do a quick check.
Answer these questions ashonestly as you can.
Don't overthink it.
(12:39):
Don't rationalize it.
Just go with your first thought.
Number one, when youradministrator emails you and the
email starts with, I need yourhelp with, do you immediately
tense up and roll your eyes?
If you just thought, yes, I do,you might be running low on
(12:59):
boundaries.
Number two, when you share a newidea for your campus, does it
immediately gain traction ordoes it die quietly in the
principal's inbox?
If it dies, that's notnecessarily because it's a bad
idea.
(13:19):
It may be because there's arelationship gap.
And three, when something new isassigned to you, when you get a
new responsibility on yourcampus, does it feel dumped on
you or does it feel trusted toyou?
If it feels dumped, you probablyneed some more credibility
(13:41):
capital with your leadership.
Now, if you said yes to allthree of those, that doesn't
mean that there's anything wrongwith you necessarily.
It just means that you're ahuman being, right?
You're doing your best to doyour best work in a broken
system.
But it also means that yourschool probably has a trust
(14:01):
deficit.
And that's not anything thatyou're going to be able to fix
single-handedly overnight.
But you can start small withclearer communication,
consistent follow-through, andone genuine conversation at a
time, which is really going tostart to make your work easier.
(14:23):
That's the real power move.
Being willing to engage in thesethings and to look at the long
game in the process.
Because if you can stick with itand nurture a trust that grows,
your boundaries are going tostart to be applied
automatically.
So thinking long game, theapproach that you were taught,
(14:47):
the list of school counselingappropriate and inappropriate
responsibilities, all of thepositioning papers, all of the
hard and fast rules for schoolcounseling, that approach, that
constant defense, is what'skeeping you in survival mode.
You might win a few battles hereand there, but the war never
(15:07):
ends.
The second approach, that powermove that I described, creates
stability, where your admintrusts you, your teachers rely
on you, and you're part of thecore team, not just an optional
accessory they call in when it'sconvenient for them.
And yes, a lot of campuses areextremely unhealthy where no
(15:31):
amount of trust building isgoing to fix an administrator
who just refuses to collaborate.
I get it.
I've worked on a few in mycareer.
But even then, this approach isgoing to buy you some breathing
room, some respect, and at thevery least, a bit of
professional dignity.
So that's not giving in.
(15:53):
That's still taking control.
My friend, that is power withoutpermission.
You deserve to be seen as theprofessional that you are.
And the good news is you don'thave to have a louder voice to
make that happen.
You just need the right kind oftrust.
So the next time you have aproblem and you're asking for
(16:13):
opinions about it, and somebodysays, Well, you're just going to
have to advocate for yourself.
I want you to pause for asecond.
And I want you to ask yourself,is this a fight I really need to
fight right now?
Or do I have the time to earnthe trust that wins this
forever?
Because the school counselorswho are thriving are not the
(16:35):
ones that fight the hardest.
They're the ones who have builtso much credibility that no one
even wants to fight them.
That's a power move.
And if you're ready to practicewhat that looks like, if you
want real examples and feedbackand a community that gets it,
that's what we do each and everyweek inside of my School for
(16:56):
School Counselors Mastermind.
We talk about navigatingboundaries on particular
campuses, how to build thoserelationships, and how to design
school counseling programs thatbring you joy and that last.
You can find out more atSchoolforschool
Counselors.comslash mastermind.
So imagine you're back in thatfirst date scenario.
(17:18):
You sit down across from someonefor the first time.
They ask about your work.
You are able to share whatyou're passionate about, what
you do best, and what you lovemost.
And you tell a story that lightsyou up, and you notice they're
leaning in because they can seeit.
(17:38):
They can feel that you'resomeone they can trust and
someone that knows what they'retalking about.
That's how good workingrelationships start too.
It's not with the list of notes,it's with the evidence that you
know what you're about.
And once they see that, oncethey see you follow through,
(18:00):
communicate clearly, and careabout their goals, those
boundaries that you were worriedabout start setting themselves.
You won't need to remind anybodythat you're a school counselor
and not a clerk.
You won't have to keep wavingthe ASCA flag to prove to
everybody that you'relegitimate.
They'll see it in how youoperate each and every day.
(18:22):
I've watched this happen timeand time again.
School counselors will stopfighting for validation and
start leading with this style ofcalm confidence.
And once that trust clicks intoplace, their whole dynamic
changes.
Your administrator will startdefending your time before you
(18:43):
even have to.
And they'll start looping you inbecause they can't imagine not
having your voice in that room.
It's like the moment when thatfirst date becomes a real
relationship, when both peoplestart showing up for each other
instead of protectingthemselves.
That's what professional trustfeels like.
(19:04):
And it is so much stronger thanany policy or job description
that anybody ever wrote.
Because boundaries areimportant, but trust is what
makes them work.
So if you feel like you've beenwalking onto your campus every
day, ready for battle, maybeit's time to try something
(19:25):
different.
Start by asking one question,helping solve one problem,
showing up for one priority thatmatters to your admin.
That's how you begin rebuildingthe bridge.
That's how you take back yourinfluence.
And that's the power move yourprincipal wishes you would make.
(19:47):
All right, I'll be back soonwith another episode.
In the meantime, start makingthose power moves and take care.
You sit down across from someone on a first date.
The waiter hasn't even come byto pour the water.
And this person starts listingeverything they won't do.
I don't date long distance.
I don't date anyone with kids.
And I never share my Frenchfries.
And on and on and on.
(00:22):
And you smile politely, but youalready know there's not going
to be a second date becausenobody wants to build a
relationship with somebody whowalks in like they're ready for
battle.
And you're probably honestlysitting there wondering, how
fast can I text an SOS tosomebody to come get me out of
this situation, right?
(00:42):
But imagine that same energyshowing up on a school campus.
A school counselor shows upannouncing all the things that
they won't do.
I don't do testing, I won't dolunch duty, bus supervision is
not for me.
And they're right about thoseboundaries.
But here's the problem (01:01):
they haven't yet built enough trust
for anybody to care.
That is the trap that so manyschool counselors are led into.
Because in grad school and inour internships, we're taught to
protect ourselves withboundaries.
(01:23):
But the truth is the loudest noon campus often comes from the
person that nobody's listeningto anyway.
So today I want to talk aboutthe power move your
administrator wishes that youwould make.
It's a power move that protectsyour time, builds your
credibility, and keeps yourplate clear without turning
(01:44):
every dang conversation into atug of war.
Keep listening and see if I'mright.
Hey school counselor, welcomeback.
In this episode, we're talkingabout something that quietly
destroys more school counselingprograms than budget cuts,
staffing shortages, orscheduling combined.
It's the erosion of trustbetween counselors and
(02:06):
administrators.
Our programs live inrelationships, and when that
relationship goes out of place,we start losing influence in
every single conversation.
So today we're gonna talk aboutwhat really protects.
And spoiler alert, it's notanother boundaries checklist.
So if you're ready for somestraight talk, my friend, some
(02:28):
clarity on your work, and maybea little bit of rebellion,
you're gonna be in the rightplace.
I'm Steph Johnson, and this isthe School for School Counselors
podcast.
Alright, so before we really getinto this, let's just define the
fear on the surface because Ithink this is real for every
school counselor I've ever met.
(02:50):
You're worried that if you don'tset boundaries, you're gonna
wind up doing work that doesn'tbelong to you, right?
That once something lands onyour plate, it is going to live
there forever.
And the moment that you try tohand it back, somebody's gonna
say, but you've always done it,or you're so good at it.
(03:10):
And I'll be honest, that fear isvery valid.
Most of us start buildingboundary walls because we've
been burned before.
We get tired of being the yesperson who ends up completely
exhausted because there are justso many things laid at our feet.
(03:31):
And to be fair, this strongdeclarative advocacy style that
you learned in grad school andthat you hear coming from Ask
didn't come from nothing.
It came from real counselorburnout.
It came from school counselorswho were tired of being
invisible, tired of feeling likethey were being used, or tired
(03:53):
of being told to be a teamplayer while they were
absolutely drowning.
But the thing they never tellyou is this approach only works
short term if it works at all.
It might get testing off yourdesk today, maybe, but long term
is going to completely sabotageyour influence.
(04:14):
And research backs that up.
When school counselors lead withrole defense, things like that's
not my job, or that's not anappropriate school counseling
duty, administrators startperceiving them as rigid rather
than resourceful.
Luveric and colleagues foundthat counselor autonomy doesn't
(04:35):
come from quoting standards, itcomes from principal trust in
our competence.
And Amateya and Clark discoveredthat administrators support
school counselors they see asproblem solvers, not role
enforcers.
So when every interaction startsfeeling like it's a negotiation,
(04:57):
administrators eventually stopnegotiating because it's human
nature, right?
When a conversation with acertain person always feels
tense, you naturally startavoiding it.
You've probably seen this playout in real life.
Maybe you've even been part ofit.
A school counselor draws somehard lines, no testing, no
(05:20):
covering classes, no extraduties.
And at first it feels reallyliberating and empowering.
But six months later, theyrealize their administrator
really isn't looping them intosituations anymore.
They're technically workingwithin their role, but they're
no longer in the rooms wheredecisions are being made.
Boden Orn's research found thesame thing.
(05:42):
School counselors who interprettheir role narrowly are invited
into fewer leadership decisions.
Their boundaries worked, but inthe process, they also walled
themselves off.
And Mason and McMahon latershowed that the school
counselors who did earn autonomyweren't the ones that refused
(06:04):
tasks first.
They were the ones whocollaborated first and then
renegotiated later.
So the timing here is criticallyimportant.
You gotta pick the right fightat the right time.
And this fear of having thingsplaced on your plate and never
coming off is actually hurtingyou.
(06:26):
The school counselors whothrive, the ones whose programs
grow, whose principles defendtheir time, whose boundaries
hold without having toconstantly renegotiate them.
And frankly, the counselors wholove going to work every day
figured something out.
They earn credibility beforethey draw the lines.
(06:48):
And that is the power move.
It's not about saying, hey, justgive me whatever you got.
I'll do whatever you say andI'll renegotiate it later.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about sequencing,earning trust first, and then
using that trust to secure therole that you actually want to
(07:09):
have long term.
And there's a really simple wayto do that through rapport,
reliability, and relevance.
First up is rapport.
You have to learn what mattersto your administrator.
What are their goals on thecampus?
What keeps them up at night?
And even if their goals don'tnecessarily match yours,
(07:32):
understanding them can give youa lot of power.
Because when you connect yourschool counseling work to their
priorities, you stop soundinglike the opposition and you
start sounding like you're inalignment.
The ultimate team player, right?
Then, second is reliability.
Do what you say you're going todo every time.
(07:56):
Small follow-throughs buildenormous trust.
And when your administratorfeels and knows that they can
depend on you, you don't have toargue for your time.
They'll start protecting it foryou because they believe that
you're going to do what you say.
They don't have to micromanage,they don't have to watch your
schedule like a hawk, becausethey know you're doing what you
(08:20):
say you're doing.
And third is relevance.
Frame your work in theirlanguage.
Instead of saying, Ask says Ishouldn't coordinate testing.
Say, you know, if I could handoff this testing, I could run
some more small groups thatwould probably cut discipline
referrals by about 20%.
(08:41):
So that means you're going tohave fewer disruptions, fewer
kids in your office, and we'regoing to have a lot more
instructional time withstudents.
It's the same boundary, but acompletely different reception.
Here's why that approach ofrapport, reliability, and
relevance works.
People don't follow logic.
(09:04):
They don't.
They follow trust.
They don't remember your chartsor your acronyms.
Your principal probably doesn'teven know what ASCA is.
They remember whether or not youmade their job easier.
They know whether they trustyou.
This is just the organizationalpsychology that's present in
(09:25):
every single workplace.
Research says trust precedesautonomy.
Dirk's and Ferenc Meta-analysison leadership trust showed that
credibility and consistencypredict freedom and influence
more than formal authority everdoes.
And in schools, Brick andSchneider found something even
more interesting (09:46):
that campuses high in relational trust didn't
just function better, they sawmeasurable gains in student
learning.
Y'all, that's how powerful trustis as an engine of your campus.
And then Edmondson's work onpsychological safety adds even
(10:06):
another layer to this.
Because when people feelrespected, they take risks and
they collaborate.
And when they don't, theyprotect themselves and progress
stalls.
Does that sound familiar?
You've probably seen it a day ortwo.
That's what's happening on somany of our school campuses
(10:26):
right now.
Counselors are protectingthemselves so hard, there's no
room left to collaborate.
So instead of burning energydefending your title and your
responsibilities, spend thatenergy building credibility.
That's the trade-off and that'sthe secret.
(10:47):
Be willing to give up someshort-term wins for some
long-term authority.
So let's make this real.
How can you start this week witha power move plan?
Step one, spot one prioritythat's really bothering your
(11:07):
administrator.
Step two, do something smallthat helps address that issue.
And then step three, tell themin their language how it worked.
That's it.
You just bought yourself massivecredibility points for the next
boundary that you might need toset.
(11:28):
That's how leaders operate inevery field.
Bass called it transformationalleadership, earning influence
through trust, not transactions.
And in our world, that lookslike an administrator who says,
I trust your judgment, do whatyou need to do.
So let me be clear, there is afine line between being
(11:53):
collaborative and getting used.
But the school counselors whonavigate that line best
understand that their timing andtheir tone are everything.
If you start to fight beforeyou've built trust, you're
labeled difficult.
But if you build trust first,that same no is seen as a
(12:17):
judgment call.
Look at it this way (12:18):
you can spend your whole career guarding
your plate, or you can build arelationship where no one dares
pile things on it in the firstplace.
So let's do a quick check.
Answer these questions ashonestly as you can.
Don't overthink it.
(12:39):
Don't rationalize it.
Just go with your first thought.
Number one, when youradministrator emails you and the
email starts with, I need yourhelp with, do you immediately
tense up and roll your eyes?
If you just thought, yes, I do,you might be running low on
(12:59):
boundaries.
Number two, when you share a newidea for your campus, does it
immediately gain traction ordoes it die quietly in the
principal's inbox?
If it dies, that's notnecessarily because it's a bad
idea.
(13:19):
It may be because there's arelationship gap.
And three, when something new isassigned to you, when you get a
new responsibility on yourcampus, does it feel dumped on
you or does it feel trusted toyou?
If it feels dumped, you probablyneed some more credibility
(13:41):
capital with your leadership.
Now, if you said yes to allthree of those, that doesn't
mean that there's anything wrongwith you necessarily.
It just means that you're ahuman being, right?
You're doing your best to doyour best work in a broken
system.
But it also means that yourschool probably has a trust
(14:01):
deficit.
And that's not anything thatyou're going to be able to fix
single-handedly overnight.
But you can start small withclearer communication,
consistent follow-through, andone genuine conversation at a
time, which is really going tostart to make your work easier.
(14:23):
That's the real power move.
Being willing to engage in thesethings and to look at the long
game in the process.
Because if you can stick with itand nurture a trust that grows,
your boundaries are going tostart to be applied
automatically.
So thinking long game, theapproach that you were taught,
(14:47):
the list of school counselingappropriate and inappropriate
responsibilities, all of thepositioning papers, all of the
hard and fast rules for schoolcounseling, that approach, that
constant defense, is what'skeeping you in survival mode.
You might win a few battles hereand there, but the war never
(15:07):
ends.
The second approach, that powermove that I described, creates
stability, where your admintrusts you, your teachers rely
on you, and you're part of thecore team, not just an optional
accessory they call in when it'sconvenient for them.
And yes, a lot of campuses areextremely unhealthy where no
(15:31):
amount of trust building isgoing to fix an administrator
who just refuses to collaborate.
I get it.
I've worked on a few in mycareer.
But even then, this approach isgoing to buy you some breathing
room, some respect, and at thevery least, a bit of
professional dignity.
So that's not giving in.
(15:53):
That's still taking control.
My friend, that is power withoutpermission.
You deserve to be seen as theprofessional that you are.
And the good news is you don'thave to have a louder voice to
make that happen.
You just need the right kind oftrust.
So the next time you have aproblem and you're asking for
(16:13):
opinions about it, and somebodysays, Well, you're just going to
have to advocate for yourself.
I want you to pause for asecond.
And I want you to ask yourself,is this a fight I really need to
fight right now?
Or do I have the time to earnthe trust that wins this
forever?
Because the school counselorswho are thriving are not the
(16:35):
ones that fight the hardest.
They're the ones who have builtso much credibility that no one
even wants to fight them.
That's a power move.
And if you're ready to practicewhat that looks like, if you
want real examples and feedbackand a community that gets it,
that's what we do each and everyweek inside of my School for
(16:56):
School Counselors Mastermind.
We talk about navigatingboundaries on particular
campuses, how to build thoserelationships, and how to design
school counseling programs thatbring you joy and that last.
You can find out more atSchoolforschool
Counselors.comslash mastermind.
So imagine you're back in thatfirst date scenario.
(17:18):
You sit down across from someonefor the first time.
They ask about your work.
You are able to share whatyou're passionate about, what
you do best, and what you lovemost.
And you tell a story that lightsyou up, and you notice they're
leaning in because they can seeit.
(17:38):
They can feel that you'resomeone they can trust and
someone that knows what they'retalking about.
That's how good workingrelationships start too.
It's not with the list of notes,it's with the evidence that you
know what you're about.
And once they see that, oncethey see you follow through,
(18:00):
communicate clearly, and careabout their goals, those
boundaries that you were worriedabout start setting themselves.
You won't need to remind anybodythat you're a school counselor
and not a clerk.
You won't have to keep wavingthe ASCA flag to prove to
everybody that you'relegitimate.
They'll see it in how youoperate each and every day.
(18:22):
I've watched this happen timeand time again.
School counselors will stopfighting for validation and
start leading with this style ofcalm confidence.
And once that trust clicks intoplace, their whole dynamic
changes.
Your administrator will startdefending your time before you
(18:43):
even have to.
And they'll start looping you inbecause they can't imagine not
having your voice in that room.
It's like the moment when thatfirst date becomes a real
relationship, when both peoplestart showing up for each other
instead of protectingthemselves.
That's what professional trustfeels like.
(19:04):
And it is so much stronger thanany policy or job description
that anybody ever wrote.
Because boundaries areimportant, but trust is what
makes them work.
So if you feel like you've beenwalking onto your campus every
day, ready for battle, maybeit's time to try something
(19:25):
different.
Start by asking one question,helping solve one problem,
showing up for one priority thatmatters to your admin.
That's how you begin rebuildingthe bridge.
That's how you take back yourinfluence.
And that's the power move yourprincipal wishes you would make.
(19:47):
All right, I'll be back soonwith another episode.
In the meantime, start makingthose power moves and take care.
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