Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All I prayed for
every night, every night, every
night, was to have the woman ofmy dreams who I can marry and
build a life with.
I coach men on these verytopics men who run businesses,
men who have children, and oneof the things that stands out is
their relationship with theirwife starts to become strained
over time.
I'm the leader of my family.
I have to take accountability,just like, if you run a business
and your team members aren'tperforming well, it's your
(00:22):
fucking fault, dude.
It's the little things thatshow that you think about her,
that you love her and you careabout her.
Like dude, you need to scheduletime with your wife.
But yeah, if you're thatfucking busy and you have a
million thoughts going throughyour head and you have stress
and pressure of life and youhave children, you better damn
well schedule it, schedule datenights, schedule overnights,
Welcome.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Unstoppable Mindset
(00:49):
Podcast.
I'm your host, sean Crane, andthank you guys for tuning in.
Hey, if you're married, this isgoing to be an episode for you.
If you've got a husband, a wife, a significant other, maybe a
boyfriend or girlfriend, fiance,I want you to pay attention.
I got my wife in the studiotoday and maybe she should do an
episode with me one of thesedays, right, but right now I
said, hey, what's a topic Ishould cover?
And she said I want to hear youtalk about marriage.
(01:10):
I said, okay, this is going tobe a good one.
Honestly, for me, like, havingJessica as my wife is the
greatest thing in the world.
You know, before we gottogether, I just got out of and
all I prayed for every night,every night, every night, was to
have the woman of my dreams whoI can marry and build a life
with.
Like that's what we all want.
We all want that person that weknow that we just can connect
with and share our lives withand have babies together and
(01:33):
experience things and travel andget a home and all this stuff.
For me, that's all I wanted.
And I remember like I didn'thave good relationships growing
up.
I made mistakes and I rememberjust thinking to myself dude,
when I meet, like the woman whoI'm going to have children with
and get married, I'm going totreat her like a queen, I'm
going to give her my heart andsoul.
And when I met Jessica, I didright away and that's why we
fell in love, cause I didn'thold back, you know, and she
(01:53):
felt that, and it what it didfor me to like having the right
woman or person by your side andyour relationship.
It's a superpower.
All of your ability is going tobe enhanced, all of your
strengths are going to bestrengthened, and for me, what
it did is there was this voidthat I had, where I was seeking
something.
I was alone.
I wanted to have a relationship, I wanted to be in love with a
(02:15):
woman that I could build a lifewith, and I didn't have it.
And so it was always this thingright.
I'm always thinking about it.
It's affecting my actions andhow I live my life.
Once I met Jessica and I knew Iwas going to spend the rest of
my life with her, that voidclosed up and it freed up a lot
of creativity, a lot of energyand a lot of time that I could
focus on my purpose and my path.
She supported me every step ofthe way.
I remember when I was doing myfirst Ironman competition, I was
(02:36):
so broke.
She one night we're like layingin bed and I'm like, dude, I
want to do this competition, butit's like 750 bucks, you know.
She bust out her card and shejust paid for it.
She's like, dude, do it.
And she went with me andwatched me and those are the
little things like.
She's been by my side everystep of the way and she always
has supported me and shestrengthened me and we've built
this beautiful life together.
Now fast forward.
(02:57):
We have three children, onemore on the way that's due next
month, our baby girl, bella, andyou know our relationships
changed over the years.
It's not just her and I, and wetalk about this all the time.
And so having two children,scarlett and Preston, back to
back, that was a lot.
That's like.
You know.
It's almost like having twins.
They're 14 months apart.
They're Iris twins, right?
Is that what you call them?
And Mason, who's older.
(03:18):
He has a whole other set of notproblems, but things that we
have to attend to being ateenager.
So there's a lot going on inthe household all the time.
By the time the kids get up inthe morning and we're getting
them ready for school, jessicaand I barely have time to talk
before I'm out the door droppingthem off.
I'm working all day.
Then, when I come home, we tryto have conversations, but the
kids are always pulling us indifferent directions.
Right, and I'm sure you parentscan relate to this.
(03:40):
I coach men on these very topics, men who run businesses, men
who have children, and one ofthe things that stands out is
their relationship with theirwife starts to become strained
over time.
It's so important that, asyou're getting older and as
you're raising children, you'renot just maintaining a
relationship, but you're growingcloser.
And this is something that wasactually on my mind today,
because I realized, like youknow, the last couple of weeks
(04:03):
and especially the start of thisyear 2025, I haven't had a lot
of time with my wife.
I'm in fucking go mode.
I'm building my business.
I got a lot of shit on my platethat's been on my mind.
Uh, she's pregnant, you know.
We got young kids that are inschool.
Like there's a million thingsgoing on and I thought man, why
am I not carving out like twohours multiple times a week just
to go have lunch with my wifeand spend time with her?
(04:23):
You know we do overnights, wehave time on on weekends to do
date nights, you know, and onthe weekends we spend time as a
family.
But one of the things that'sreally been standing out, that
I'm going to start doing andthat you guys should all do, is
be intentional with how you getalone time with your wife.
Don't just do it sometimesright night when the kids go to
bed.
You know you got to be veryintentional and schedule it Like
the busier you get, like I am,and the bigger goals you have.
(04:45):
Whatever you are intentionalabout and focus on is going to
transpire in your life.
It's going to materialize.
But if you neglect things andjust assume, oh, because it's
been this way, it's always goingto be that way, you're actually
jeopardizing whether it's arelationship, a business, your
health, whatever it is.
So for me, I have to planeverything out ahead of time.
If I can look at my week onSunday and I see
(05:13):
business-related activities,times with the kids, time with
my wife, that's intentional.
Where I'm present and focusedon her, that's going to create
the life that I want to live.
That's going to help ourrelationship to continue to grow
stronger over time.
That's going to make sure thatshe feels supported and loved.
And this is the other thing tooKnow your partner's love
language.
Like what is it that theyreally need from you?
I don't think a lot of men knowwhat their wives actually need
from them.
I know that my wife's lovelanguage is time, time together,
(05:35):
uninterrupted.
And we don't get a lot of thatand that's my fault.
I'm the leader of my family.
I have to take accountability,just like if you run a business
and your team members aren'tperforming well, it's your
fucking fault, it's not theirfault.
You are the person that setsthe tone.
You are the person that's goingto reap the rewards or suffer
the consequences.
So a change that I'm going tomake is I'm going to start
(05:56):
scheduling intentional time withmy wife Multiple times a week
where I can carve out two hoursof uninterrupted time where I'm
present and I don't even have myfucking phone Near me.
I know for her that would makethe world to her.
That would mean the world toher if I was doing that.
The other thing that happenedthe other day and I shared this
on a coaching call is my wifebought herself flowers.
I came home and she boughtherself flowers.
(06:17):
I'm like, dude, sean, you'refucking slipping Like your wife
bought herself flowers.
So now I put a calendar note inmy phone Every Friday.
It says buy your wife flowers,Like why would I not bring her
flowers home every week?
Or chocolates or do all theselittle things.
It's the little things, man.
The guys start slipping on thelittle things.
And it's not the big trips,it's not because you have a
(06:39):
bunch of money that she couldspend, dude.
It's the little things thatshow that you think about her,
that you love her and you careabout her.
Like that's the stuff thatreally stands out.
And so I like talking about itbecause for me it always kind of
brings it back into myawareness.
If you're good at something inlife, it doesn't mean you're
always going to be good at it.
You have to maintain, you haveto be proactive, you have to
work at it, whether it's in thegym, on your body or in your
(07:02):
marriage, at home.
If you stop focusing on it, ifyou stop working at it, you're
jeopardizing everything that youhave.
So that's just like me kind ofcoming from the heart.
To be a good husband, I think,means to know your wife and to
know what she needs from you.
It means being a leader at home.
It means being dependable, butit means being able to show love
in a way where people trulyfeel it and receive it.
(07:24):
So know your partner's lovelanguage.
Make sure that you'reintentional with your time.
If you're like me, you need toactually schedule it, which some
people might think sounds kindof stupid.
Like dude, do you need toschedule time with your wife?
But yeah, if you're thatfucking busy and you have a
million thoughts going throughyour head and you have stress
and pressure of life and youhave children, you better damn
well schedule it.
Schedule date nights, scheduleovernights.
(07:44):
Better damn well schedule it.
Schedule date nights, scheduleovernights, schedule doing those
little things each and everyweek and over the course of time
you're going to do them moreand because of that, you're
going to keep the relationshipconnected and you're not going
to get resentment from your wife, you're not going to do things
that piss her off and you'regoing to have a better marriage
long-term.
So if this episode was valuablefor you, if anything I'm saying
is making sense, share it withsomebody.
If it's not, like maybe shootme a message and I need a
(08:07):
relationship coach.
But we'll keep bringing thefire for you guys.
And again, subscribe, sharelike the channel, appreciate
your support.