The burden of holding on, emotional healing, how to let go, break free, Self Help Podcast

😔 Carrying pain that’s been weighing you down for years?

In this episode of the Self Help Show, Gina-Margaret Tiger uncovers the true cost of holding on—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether it’s unspoken pain, generational grudges, or that resentment you can’t seem to release, this episode helps you reclaim your power and finally feel free.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

00:00 – Why Holding On Drains Your Power

02:15 – How Pain Spreads Into Mood and Energy

03:30 – Resentment and Your Health

05:40 – Generational Grudges Are Real

07:00 – The Emotional Wall That Keeps Love Out

08:40 – Choosing Peace Over Bitterness

10:00 – Steps to Finally Let Go

💡 Episode Highlights:

• Pain that’s not processed becomes personality

• Holding on affects your health, relationships, and future

• Forgiveness is not approval, it’s protection of your peace

• Cry, write, purge, forgive — not for them, but for you

🛑 Journal Prompt:

“What part of me is still living in that painful moment — and what would freedom feel like?”

🌱 Affirmation:

“I release the pain I’ve been carrying. I choose softness, I choose freedom, I choose peace.”

🔑 Reminder:

The longer you hold on, the more you give your power away. Let go, so you can grow.

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🎧 Self Help Show — where we unpack pain, forgive deeply, and grow beautifully.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
welcome to a thousand voices podcast I'm your host Gina and we are on a new

(00:05):
chapter today I am talking about forgiveness throughout this whole
chapter I hope you enjoyed the previous one because I spoke about what
forgiveness is and what it is not and in this chapter we will be digging deep
into understanding why forgiveness is very very important so today's episode

(00:33):
is called the cost of not letting go or the cost of holding on so I want to talk
about how you carry on the weight of holding on to something that somebody
did to you and what that actually does is it's like you're carrying a backpack

(00:57):
and it's very heavy and this backpack is hurting you because it's filled with
past hurt and it wears you down it creates resentment and this resentment
doesn't only stay in just being resentment it seeps into your mood it

(01:18):
affects your energy it also affects how you treat other people believe it or not
if somebody has hurt you and you're in pain it's very easy to lash out on
somebody else that unresolved pain can show up unexpectedly and it can be in a

(01:38):
conversation it can be in something else that is not even related to whoever that
has hurt you so you have to ask yourself like why are you holding on to that
weight which pulls you down is it worth the energy to keep on carrying that okay

(01:59):
then the next thing is it actually takes a toll on your mental and physical
health so holding on or the cost of holding on to anger or you know that
pain or whatever that was done to you increases your stress it increases your
anxiety and even risks heart diseases I will always repeat this that on this

(02:24):
podcast I talk about experiences opinions research facts and whether you
like it or not you also able to go and do your own research and find out these
things I created a space where I can share and speak freely because this is

(02:45):
a self-help show you come here for self-development self-love self-care all
to do with the self so this is me just explaining that yes I am NOT a doctor
but I'm telling you what I've learned through research and my opinions as well
in my experiences alright so let's get back to the topic so studies show that

(03:10):
chronic resentment leads to higher cortisol meaning your body stays in a
state of stress and people who struggle with forgiving they also experience
fatigue and insomnia and depression so letting go can actually help you
emotionally it lowers your blood pressure it includes your immune system so

(03:35):
you also need to ask yourself like how much of your energy are you willing to
let go are you willing to be drained by all those emotions that are not even
serving you over something that somebody did to you okay so it's very important

(03:56):
to know that if you don't heal you build walls around you so it becomes very hard
to trust to love deeply to connect with others and sometimes you take out all of
that pain on people close to you without even knowing it so you kind of because

(04:17):
you're broken and you're hurt you kind of flush out on people around you and
holding on to those grudges make you very guarded very skeptical and even
emotionally unavailable and this is something that I've noticed in most men
and this applies to people that I know including some of my family members or
you know friends people I've been around you become really guarded and you become

(04:45):
emotionally unavailable because you were hurt maybe five years ago ten years ago
and that has become your life that has become who you are another thing to note
is generational grudges exist yeah this was an eye-opener when I learned about
this one because I was also shocked like what what do you mean generational

(05:10):
grudges those actually exist so it can be passed down bitterness can be passed
down verbal abuse can be passed down all of those angers can be passed down and I
think a lot of people especially African people relate to this they know that you

(05:31):
know you have this one angry grandmother and because the angry grandmother your
parents also become that angry parent and then you know etc etc etc so I think
you need to ask yourself are you willing to carry on holding on to that because

(05:51):
see all of these things that holding on to stuff costs like it costs so much
from you it costs your personal growth that's why you need to understand the
power of letting go because forgiveness doesn't mean excusing what happened it
means you are refusing to let it control you some of the strongest people that I

(06:13):
know including myself I choose peace over bitterness I choose peace over
bitterness because at the end of the day you need to have a peaceful state of
mind to carry on having an experience that God created you for so for example

(06:36):
Nelson Mandela forgave those who imprisoned him because he knew that
resentment would only keep him trapped and by forgiveness we see what has
happened to the nation a lot of people are not happy some people are happy I
will leave that to you to decide but at the end of the day he forgave and many

(06:57):
people actually they kind of and I think it's a choice at the end of the day you
just have to choose you just have to commit to say you know what I'm not
gonna hold on to this because if you hold on to it is gonna make you heavier
and if you let it go then you become lighter so some of the practical steps

(07:21):
to take forward is you need to acknowledge your feelings because
pretending you are fine does not lead to healing you have to sit down with
yourself and understand how you feel deeply about the whole situation as much
as it hurts as much as it's heartbreaking it's heartbreaking it's
devastating it's crippling whatever the case may be acknowledge how you feel and

(07:46):
don't judge yourself but allow yourself to feel it all if it's the pain feel all
of the pain if you have to cry cry it out if you have to cry every day for a
week cry it out there was a time I was really hurt like really really hurt I
think I I was crying almost every day for two weeks and I think I think that's

(08:07):
how I purged all of that pain so once you acknowledge your emotions feel them
and allow them to to pass and release them then shift your perspective so
whatever that's hurting you try to shift this perspective and focus on other

(08:30):
things right write a letter for yourself or you can just express your
emotions down and you can either watch that letter go you can even put it in a
letter box and then just let it go because you're sending it out then you

(08:51):
have to understand that as much as you've been hurt that person could have
been wrong you have to forgive yourself it's very important because sometimes
we are always very hard on ourselves because we we are hurt and we ask
yourself why did that let this happen to myself why did something like this
happen to myself so as much as you have to forgive the person you have to

(09:14):
acknowledge your emotions you also have to forgive yourself you really have to
forgive yourself deeply because sometimes even if we forgive there's
still a little bit of that tightness that comes with me being angry with myself
or feeling betrayed or feeling unbroken and you feel that internally within

(09:35):
yourself so forgiveness is a choice and you don't have to do it all at once
because it's a process but if you decide to take the first step just
understand that the cost of holding on is more expensive than you letting go
because you may miss opportunities you may miss people you may miss experiences

(09:57):
that are fulfilling for your life because you're holding on to something
that does not serve you all right so we've come to the end of the episode and
next one I will be talking about forgiving without an apology this is for
those who are anticipating somebody to apologize or expecting somebody to send

(10:21):
an apology this one is coming up for you we'll talk about it in the next episode
thank you so much for joining and listening from wherever you are tell me
what you think because this time around I did stuff differently I normally have
a soundtrack yeah but now it's just me so tell me if you like this kind of
style because the whole chapter is going to be like this have a good one and I'll

(10:46):
see you in the next episode