October 3, 2025 • 36 mins
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What if the key to bigger impact isn’t more grind...but more presence? Michael, a restaurateur known for bright, welcoming spaces and lines-out-the-door brunch, shares how a guest-first mindset and a hard reset on his personal life transformed everything. He didn’t come up through the back of house; he walked in focused on why people gather. That outsider perspective became his advantage as he built restaurants where safety, care, and connection are the main ingredients...and where the design, the energy, and the food all invite you to feel at home.
We explore leadership that humanizes hospitality, technology that frees up time for real service, and a simple mission that guides every decision: live healthy and long to be a beacon for the people you love. Michael also offers a framework for modern masculinity...“dangerous and kind”...strong enough to protect, soft enough to connect.
Connect with Michael & his restaurants:
@brunchmehard
@picaricabbq
@sundayschool
@oakwoodfirekitchen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Self-Love and Sweat the podcast.
The place where you'll getinspired to live your life
unapologetically.
Embrace your perfectimperfections and do what sets
your soul on fire.
Fire.
I'm your host, London Susa.
(00:23):
As I was telling you before wepressed report, I'm like, I
don't have like preppedquestions.
Uh I don't have like a preppedbio, but I I know what I think I
know about you, right?
So like we'll kind of startthere, and then we can go and we
can fill in the gaps there.
Um, but I think social media hasbeen such a cool place to
(00:43):
connect with people.
In fact, I was just in Park Citya couple weeks ago meeting up
with this girl, Val, who I metwhile I was in Italy planning to
do stuff for my podcast and mether on Instagram.
We connected and then we weremet in in Park City and had a
good time.
So Instagram has been a cool wayfor me to connect with people
(01:04):
and meet others and just kind ofreally yeah, live life and be
out there.
And so I um came to yourrestaurant the first time a
couple a couple years ago when Ifirst moved out here.
My best friend Kara wasvisiting, and my neighbor goes,
Oh, you have to take her toSunday's best, right?
So I know that you are uh a manof service, you have a lot of
(01:27):
restaurants, you uh love to workout and care about health and
wellness and uh you know livingyour best physical life too.
I know that you have a beautifulfamily, you share pictures like
that on social media as well.
And then this is our first timeactually meeting in person, but
I was talking to my neighbor,the same neighbor that
(01:48):
recommended it come here uh thismorning.
And so I was like, oh yeah, it'sgonna be cool because I already
feel like who you are on socialmedia and what you share and how
you show up is pretty spot on towho I thought you would be in
person, and it is, and it'scool.
And so thank you.
We met on uh connected onInstagram.
I love eating brunch here wherewe're at at Sunday's best.
(02:08):
I've been to I always get itwrong.
Is it Woodfire, Oak Fire?
SPEAKER_01 (02:12):
So Oakwood Fire Kitchen, which is kind of near
your area, Draper.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
Took my dad there, took my mom there, took my
grandparents there.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
I think I remember that.
Like because it you'll tag me init from time to time, or I'll
see it on your social.
Yeah.
So thank you for that.
SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
So whether it's true or not, I've always heard that
Utah doesn't have the greatestfood, and your food is really,
really good.
And it's like the only places Ireally want to go outside of
eating at home.
So uh yeah, Michael owns a bunchof restaurants here that are
super delicious, and you show upfor the community, you uh show
(02:46):
up to do more than just servepeople food, right?
Yeah.
Uh, where did that come from?
Like, when did you start wantingto do restaurant things?
Like, where did this heart comefrom for living your life the
way that you do?
And where are you at now?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Well, thank thank you so much.
One, I I appreciate the factthat you've been thoughtful
enough to like spend some timeto get to know us and know our
business and support it.
That's why it makes it reallyeasy for me to kind of
contribute time and want to youoffered me up onto your
platform, but it most definitelyseen you support our businesses
because I've seen you at ourairport location, I've seen you
here, I've seen you at OakwoodFire Kitchen.
(03:20):
Um, and so thank you.
Like, thank you for that.
Uh, I got into this business.
In fact, I had kind of nobusiness mean in this business
originally.
I came totally from the guestperspective.
I wasn't one of those guys thatlike grew up in the business.
I wasn't like a busser or adishwasher and became a server
or like a bartender.
When I got into the business, myfirst role in the business was a
(03:40):
general manager.
And so it was like, come in,lead people, figure out food.
And um, as I look at that kindof like hindsight, you know, 20
years later, I realize now thatit gave me such an advantage
coming from the guestperspective because I didn't
have some of the nuances or kindof the old school mentalities
that that come from industry aswell as when you're a chef,
(04:01):
you're like, oh, well, like I Itruly just don't obsess over
like where the cheese and thewine comes from.
Like I obsess over why you'rehere.
And it so happens that I get agreat you know, cup of coffee or
you know, pancakes, orchampagne, or a hot honey
pepperoni pizza, or you know, afresh slice of brisket, like
that, I realize that thatbecomes like the most beautiful
(04:24):
conduit to conversation andconnecting community through
just great food and craft andhospitality.
And so that's where my nichestarted.
It started because I realizedthat like, holy shit, I can
connect people through greatfood and great beverage.
And because of my obsession withpeople and the guest versus like
the backside of the restaurantthat most people are I think
(04:47):
that chefs and others findthemselves in just gave me an
interesting advantage toexperience create.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:55):
Yeah, and what I um was thinking when you were
sharing that, because yeah, youdidn't have I don't know, bottom
up or whatever direction, likeyou didn't have the insider
part, but you just knew likedeveloping the people,
connecting with the people thatthen worry about the details and
all the nitty-gritty stuff thatmaybe doesn't keep you up at
night, but connecting, and youhave a lot of restaurants, you
(05:16):
lead a lot of people, you leadyourself, you lead like how do
you what what fuels you?
What's your day-to-day like?
Um, we've talked about wherewe're at now.
If you guys are watching thevideo, we're in the table that's
kind of in the corner.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
So we're hiding out back here.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:30):
This is the spot where Michael wants you to find
and not find him.
SPEAKER_01 (05:35):
We're giving this away online.
I um by the way, I love theselike great questions.
And like even as I look aroundnow and I look at my team that's
out here, you know, shiftchange, yeah, finishing up after
serving just over like 300guests for the day.
And probably like one of thebiggest, biggest compliments I
ever get are when people comein, it's not like oh, the food
or the environment.
They talk about how they feel,and that's something that's
(05:56):
really big for me.
I think that why I fell so inlove with this business is I
think I was a true example oflike maybe not having a seat at
the table, maybe not being theone picked to, you know, dinner,
date, for the dance, whatever itmight be.
And so this is a true example oflike building your own table and
inviting people to it.
This is this is a true andpresent example of building what
(06:17):
I believe are the mostconnective and furthering dining
room tables in our communities,and I get to be like at the
forefront of that.
And so be able to invite peopleinto an environment, into a
menu, into a culture that reallycreates the opportunity for you
to be seen and also for you tosee.
And so when you are able to havean approach like that where it
(06:38):
is really about being the nextbest part of someone else's day,
whether that be someone you'venever met before, your life
partner, you know, friends,whatever it may be, my brands
make space for that.
And I feel like in therestaurant business, you don't
see a lot of that.
I think in the restaurantbusiness, it's like very like
wham and bam.
It's very like, it's allconvenient driven.
(06:59):
We our lifestyles are busiertoday than they've ever been.
And one thing that we focus onum heavily inside of our group,
especially operationally, islike humanizing the experience.
Like we're utilizing resources,platforms, advancements in
technology and equipment and allof those things to drive
efficiencies.
And oftentimes that might pullcertain people out of kitchen
(07:20):
functions or supply chainfunctions, where it allows us to
like basically offset that laborthat we gain back from those
efficiencies and make it eventhat much more get guest-facing
and uh experience creating.
And so, as you can see, this wetake a lot of pride in our
environments, whether it's atPicarica Americana Barbecue in
St.
George, and the stigma ofbarbecue must be like, oh, it's
(07:41):
dirty, it's earth toned, it'sthese things.
We we celebrate the fact thatit's bright and beautiful and
and flavorful, and we've just wetake a different approach, not
only aesthetically, butenergetically.
And so I loved hearing you say,like, hey, when I see you on
social, first time I've met youin person, it feels similar.
To me, I feel like that is so umcritical that like what I share
(08:06):
on social is very much what yousee.
I almost use my stories as likemy daily journal, in a sense,
that share visuals and insights.
Um, sure, like I've had a bigevolution in my life, like
personally, emotionally, ummentally, physically over the
past like three yearsspecifically.
And I found a really like deepappreciation for like
(08:28):
self-awareness and self-worth.
And that is really kind of whatshapes every decision I make
now.
And you know, I lived so much ofmy life without like really a
purpose, just this excitement tobe successful, this excitement
to create, this excitement tobuild.
(08:49):
You know, my family, I had agreat family, you know, growing
up, but not like a motivated,driven family.
No one in my family wasconcerned about like what
college I was going to or whatthe future looked like for me or
how they were studying.
My dad just made sure I wasloved.
And he made sure there was aroof over my head, which I think
is a total cheat code.
If you can spend every day ofyour childhood knowing that
(09:09):
you're loved, I think you canfigure a lot of things out.
And so that was um yeah,totally.
I I shared a note with my dadyesterday, and I was like, gee,
I'm the father of three.
I run a big business, close to300 team members.
We're a multi-million dollarcompany.
And I sent my dad a noteyesterday because my dad showed
up under every condition, likewhether he was battling, you
(09:31):
know, debt challenges orrelationship challenges or
divorce or substance abuse, likewhatever it might be.
You know, my dad, my dad mostdefinitely had some
opportunities with alcohol whenI was younger, but it never got
in the way for how he raised me.
Like I can't think of a singletime that my dad didn't show up
for me.
And I and I shared that too withhim yesterday.
Like, Dad, Matt, I just want youto know, like, I see you in
(09:53):
that.
And I realize as a father ofthree who runs a big business,
who has big aspirations, who'shad a lot of growth and has
failed a ton, my dad is acomplete standout because he
just he just always shows up,and even to this day, and he
just did it anyways.
And I I have a lot of justadmiration for that.
(10:14):
Um, and so that's it's kind ofwild because I get in these
conversations, and yeah, thebusiness is awesome, but when it
really comes down to it, I meanI spend the majority of my time
making sure that the life anddecisions that I'm making and
the opportunities that I'mproviding and creating for
others are very close to myreward center, and that's just
important to me now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said self-awareness, right,and self-growth.
SPEAKER_01 (10:40):
Yeah, and self-love, self-love, right?
SPEAKER_00 (10:43):
Learning from our ancestors and ways things were
and what we aimed and what wecan now give.
And then like you said, nowyou're parenting and that's
right.
I I love how you shared thatbecause yeah, you're doing a
lot, you're running a lot ofbusiness.
There's all the things all thetime, right?
But how do we uh, or what wouldyou say to someone who feels
(11:03):
like you know they can't makeself-growth a priority or health
and wellness?
I know you like you said yourstories are like your day-to-day
journal, gym selfies, likeshowing up.
What is like, yeah, to use yourword showing up, what's showing
up for you, and how do you dothat day-to-day?
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(11:27):
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(11:48):
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(12:10):
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SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
You know, I wouldn't recommend my approach, at least
early.
I think the reflection and thegrowth in the last like three or
four years for me, I think, ismost definitely one to I don't
believe that you have to becomeso unhinged in any one direction
that you ultimately create alarge wake or casualties.
With that, I was definitely onethat I had created early and
sustained success in my careerand life.
(13:37):
But I got to the point when itwas like when I had created what
I believe is the most relevancein my personal brand and my
professional uh business, I waskind of like the most lost and
lonely, and I had pretty muchsabotaged like every
relationship around me because Ihad just burned the candle at
both ends.
I had just leaned so much intocreating monetary and visual and
(14:00):
asset success and not likeactually becoming uh healthy and
I think grounded and reflective.
And so I'm 40, I'll be 43 thisyear.
And I didn't see my like my trueself and reflection until I was
40.
Like I hadn't really seen myselffor the first time.
I had seen what I had toldmyself to see, if that makes
(14:23):
sense.
Like I had I had very much likehad this very self-convincing
narrative that like this is whoI am.
And I had convinced myself thatI wanted to be at war, that I
wanted to be at battle, thatsuccess or else, like hell or
high water, like this is whatI'm gonna do.
And I exhausted myself and Isabotaged the relationships that
were most meaningful to me.
(14:45):
And it was virtually impossibleto be close to me because I
wasn't close enough with who Iactually was and who I actually
am in order to even provide thatto someone else.
I lacked so much self-love thatI didn't even have the ability
to love you back.
I didn't even love me yet.
And so when I saw myself for thefirst time, I had this really
interesting experience that youcan't unsee it.
(15:07):
It was like there was thisimmediate like responsibility
and stewardship that was like,oh, now that you see who you
are, let's go to work.
And what's wild is I mentionedbefore is that I didn't even
think I had a bunch of work todo.
I was like, holy shit, like mybusinesses are awesome, my
personal brand seems awesome.
And at the time I was like, Iwas like, I weighed like 75 more
(15:27):
pounds than I do right now.
I was like, I was out of shapementally and physically.
I was self-convincing.
I I was lying to myself, I waslying to others.
And um when I saw that, I justcouldn't see it.
So I went to work and I wasn'tmad at like my current self or
(15:48):
prior self.
I was just a little confused.
Like, how'd we get here?
And like, why do we take so manypeople with us and why did we
lead this wake?
And and so there was that kindof early resent.
There were some feelings of likeresent and some shame associated
with that, and that was mainlyaround the fact that I just
didn't know what I didn't knowtill I saw it.
(16:08):
And I had this really artful andbeautiful ability to
compartmentalize things, likenot really feel all of them,
just sort of recognize them andthen like tuck them away and
move on and bury myself in work,bury myself in the next deal
flow, bury myself in the nextmoment, experience, travel, you
know, whatever it might be.
And and now I don't deal with itthat way.
(16:31):
It's it's interesting.
I worked with my therapist likesome time ago, and we were
talking to her, and she's like,I'm like, I don't know that I
wanted to turn these feelingson.
Like all of a sudden now, like Ifeel everything.
And I went from like kind ofbeing somewhat disassociated
with feelings that got in theway for me.
I kind of just closed them offand didn't allow them in.
And oftentimes I would suppressthem with a great bottle of wine
(16:52):
or a new relationship or youknow, buying a new car or like,
you know, dressing outfit,whatever it is.
And I remember telling her, I'mlike, I don't know that I really
want to feel this way.
I don't know that I really wantto do this work.
But the truth is I'm doing it.
And and the truth is some daysit's way easier than others.
But when I started doing it,London, I realized, I was like,
(17:16):
oh shit, I have such a greaterpurpose.
I have such an influence to helpmove and lead the hearts of men.
If I can think of something thatneeds to duplicate in its
likeness, greater than anythingelse, I think it's great men.
I think great men that are justhonest to themselves, that are
honest in their situations, thatlive very fluidly, that aren't
(17:39):
just great providers in theirfamilies and and and as fathers,
but they're great participators,that they're participants, that
they are involved, that they canbe there emotionally,
physically, and monetarily andexperientially.
And I just didn't know that thatwas important for so long.
And so now I I kind of sit herein this sort of airy nature with
(18:00):
you and go, I actually don'tlove war.
I don't love being at war.
I actually love peace.
I actually enjoy slow mornings,I enjoy like high-fiving and
hugging my team and seeing themwin and succeed.
I like walking my little girlsaround the neighborhood and
taking time to like look atsomeone else's garden or sit
down on the grass or you know,create our own animation and our
(18:24):
own zoo along the way.
And three years ago, four yearsago, ten years ago, I didn't
even care about something likethat.
Five years ago, I wouldn't havegiven myself a chance to think
that way.
And today I'm like, I don't knowthat I'd ever want to think it
any differently.
And what's most interestingabout much of what I just said
is that one of the biggestreasons that I held myself back
(18:45):
from truly feeling and beingconnected to my life and to
myself in this way is that Ifelt like it would cost me, it
would cost me success, it wouldcost me outcome.
And the truth is, my businesseshave never been better.
Like my teams have never beenhealthier.
My the our cultures have neverbeen safer.
You know, one of the things Ilove about our gals, if you
(19:06):
walked up to Emily, Aki,Jennifer, Samantha, whomever's
here right now, I think one ofthe things they would tell you
inside of our culture is likeone of the biggest things that
stands out most is that theyfeel safe here.
They feel safe in what we'redoing.
And that's a huge compliment forme.
I don't know that teams feltthat way years ago, right?
Like party boys and doing allthese, you know, like you're
everyone's just, I don't knowthat fraternizing is the right
(19:28):
word, but like everyone's justkind of it's a restaurant
business.
And and now I just reallyappreciate where we are and the
work that we're doing.
And I think it's just allstarted with really just gaining
self-awareness and learning tolove me.
SPEAKER_00 (19:46):
Yeah, just gaining self-awareness, right?
That like you said, that mirrormoment where you're like, wait,
I was looking not at a mirror,maybe at a mask.
Here we are, let's get real.
And like you said, I don't knowif I really want to do this, but
I can't not because I openedthat door and now here we are,
and things are better andjuicier and more connected than
ever.
And then, like you said, you'reyou're slowing down for all the
(20:08):
micro moments of the day-to-day.
Of my friend Eleanor says, Dowhat you do while you're doing
it, or be where you are whileyou're doing it, you know, along
the lines of, like you said,pushing your kids on the swing,
the moments of one-on-oneconnection with one employee at
one of your restaurants and thethe culture that you mentioned
and what you're creating withyourself and the way that it's
trickling into these places.
(20:29):
You can tell.
And I didn't know your otherrestaurant was yours for a
while.
I'd eaten there maybe twice.
And then my friend Mallory waslike, Oh yeah, that's the same
place as the brunch place you goto.
It's like, oh yeah, whatever,like you mentioned, that feeling
of safety, connectedness to themission.
Clearly, you're doing that foryourself in your internal world,
or else you can't guide otherpeople to do that.
But like you said, it's a it'suh a job only you can do.
(20:52):
It's an insider's job.
And even over the last threeyears, getting to know yourself
more and helping all of that,you know, tap into what you're
doing.
SPEAKER_01 (21:01):
It's also it's interesting because I I used to
feel like life, like theevolution of things were like
peaks and valleys instead oflike ebbs and flows, especially
someone that spent so much oftheir life like wanting to
control the the environment tocontrol the outcome.
And there's like this kind ofold quote, I don't even know
where I learned this the firsttime, but it's like we spend so
much time, oftentimes too, asdrivers, like a personality like
(21:24):
mine that's just like big go.
And I'm like a be brief, bebright kind of style.
I don't need a lot of details,but I just I just go.
And I want to control the ocean.
Like that was just that'snatural to me.
Natural to me is I want tocontrol everything inside of it.
And I have definitely the lastfew years learned that like it
is definitely not aboutcontrolling the ocean.
(21:45):
Like, that is up to theuniverse, that is not up to us,
but we definitely have aresponsibility and a duty to
learn how to surf the waves, andthat's something that I found
that life no longer peaks andvalleys, it just ebbs and flows,
and we just kind of carve intothings, like in and out of
things.
And I'm not always in alignment,like I know when I'm not.
I I not every decision I make ison mission as much as I want it
(22:06):
to be.
And you know, I spent a hugepart of my life um, you know,
altering my mind and partyingand and and going sober was this
like really beautiful awakeningand also like very challenging
because I didn't realize thatlike so much of my lifestyle, I
had like built this lifestylethat sort of suppressed certain
feelings, or like I was using itas this tool to calm my my
(22:30):
neurodivergence in a sense thatyou know I'm not a neurotypical
kind of person.
Like I most definitely kind ofthink in 3D, and I can I just
have this kind of outer, I don'tknow, visual in a sense.
And so I had to learn too that Ihad built a lifestyle and
basically habits and ritualsthat kind of served those
(22:51):
things, and so changing thatfelt like I was ripping down
this identity, like it wasripping away these layers.
I was I was born again severaltimes.
It was really interesting, but Iknow there's like these parts of
me that sort of just expired,friendships that expired and
things that just no longerserved me.
It was like, you know, you takethe tap, the cap off, and it
(23:11):
just it's rotten, you're notgonna drink it anymore.
And I struggled with that for awhile because I still wanted to
take a drink of that poison.
I still wanted to, like, I stillwanted to test it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:20):
Like, is it still good?
It's still past inspiration.
SPEAKER_01 (23:24):
I'm kind of like, I'm I'm very candid about this
stuff.
I've written about it recently.
I share it on my stories often,but like I'm still I still have
this like 10% to go, I feellike.
In no way do I feel feel I'vearrived, but it's like this last
10% of not wavering with um withyour boundaries, with your
(23:44):
commitments, with your mission,with your reasons.
And and I still want tochallenge that.
I still, it's like it's likethis last bit of like almost
breaking through and being mymost humanized version.
I still want to, I still want towaver with this shit from time
to time.
And uh, and this is like reallyfresh for me right now.
(24:05):
And so I love it because I cancome into my restaurants and I
can see how happy people are, Ican see the meaningful jobs that
we're creating, I can see theimpacts that we're having in the
communities, I can I can seewhere I stand, and I realize
that I just have so much more todo, and so much more that I can
do, and I can be this healthyforce, especially in my
(24:27):
industry, that's not necessarilyknown for being healthy.
Like the food industry.
Have you ever worked in arestaurant before?
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
No, I've never done it.
You've never you never served orbartended or anything, yeah.
Yeah, never.
I served.
Um there was this jewelry storein Southern California where I
went to school that did anannual Christmas party, and then
we would serve like horsd'oeuvres and champagne, but
that's all I ever did in termsof of that arena.
So I have no idea how any thisworks.
SPEAKER_01 (24:51):
I just yeah, it definitely just can use.
I mean, it's rare that arestaurateur is sober.
That's rare.
You know, it's it's rare thatyou have cultures that you know
in the restaurant business thatare very like healthy and
connective, and um, and so we wejust press on it, you know, we
just press on a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is there anything um that youfeel like you are like working
on right in like in this moment?
I mean, you're opening upanother restaurant, but like you
said, you're trying to push theenvelope here.
What specific goals are you likewhat's lighting you up right in
this in yeah, thank you, thankyou.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Um by the way, I I really appreciate how like
thoughtful your questions are.
Um I have a lot of things thatI'm I'm definitely working on
right now, but like one thingI'm I'm really like leaned into
right now is just it's veryenergetic for me, but I'm really
trying to stay just in my flowof energy.
I'm trying to adjustrelationships or even uh my
(25:56):
presence and how my mind and mybody responds to things, and so
I'm pretty intense.
Like I'm pretty intense, right?
So if there was like a scale toone to ten, I think most people
would be like, oh, he runs itlike a six.
And I'm like, and I can go froma six to a twelve, like quick,
not in like an angry way, justin like a like a big presence
(26:16):
way, and I'm really trying tojust take a breath in things and
just sort of relax inside of it.
Because even though I'm relaxed,I'm still moving at a really
high pace.
So I'm really just trying to umlean into that, um, take just
take breath and and sort ofenjoy that.
And um, you know, I went toDisneyland with my twins a few
(26:38):
weeks ago, and I had made thisgoal to myself that you know
having two three-year-olds atDisneyland for three days is a
lot.
SPEAKER_00 (26:45):
It's Olympic sports, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
And I and I I set this like intention when I get
there that I was just I wasgonna maintain my mental
faculty, that I wasn't gonna getfrustrated, or like there's
gonna be like even if it's likeif I turn around and like I get
a I get a soda poured on me orlike an ice cream falls off, or
people bump into me, or like mylittle girl, you know, poops her
pants and has an accident, whichmany of the things I just shared
(27:08):
have all happen all happened.
And I just I just set thisintention that I was like, I'm
not gonna, I'm not gonna lose mycomposure.
And I didn't.
And so sometimes that meant likeI had to go for a walk, or I
needed to make sure, like I'dnever been to Disneyland before
where I actually went and ran onthe treadmill in the morning
before we went to Disneyland.
It was like I was like, I wasliterally like, I didn't even
(27:29):
know they had treadmills here,like, who's doing that when
you're walking 20 miles?
But that was part of this goalright now for me to be very
present in these moments.
And like I just had probably oneof the best concert experiences
of my entire life.
I took my 14-year-old to PostMalone.
And two or three weeks prior tothis, he had just performed here
(27:49):
in Salt Lake City.
But three or four weeks prior, Ihad just seen him live at
Coachella.
But his performance at RiceEccles fully outnumbered his
performance at Coachella.
And I was there with like my14-year-old, and like we're
singing like word for word,we're dancing.
It just was like this reallymagical connective moment.
And I'm like, I would have nevergot that under the influence.
(28:12):
I would have probably neverdecided to go to a concert with
my 14-year-old when I could havegone to a concert with my
friends to party.
And so I'm just I'm learningthis new way, and I'm learning
to make decisions that pointtowards my reward center and
like really why I exist.
And you know, we touched on thisa little bit before, but I
don't, I didn't know why Iexisted.
(28:34):
I was just like, I just want tobe rich.
I just didn't want to, I grew uppoor in a sense.
Like we always had a roof overour head, but we wouldn't have a
lot of choices.
SPEAKER_00 (28:41):
So you're like not that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:43):
Like neither of my parents ever graduated high
school.
Like, my dad's a stud, like hecares so much, but he's probably
never made like over$50,000 ayear in his life.
And there's just in today'sworld, there's not a lot of
choices in that, in that arena.
And and so like I just I from ayoung age, I'm like, I want that
family.
Like, I want the boat behind thecar, I want, I want the the
captive connective experience.
(29:04):
I I want to live in thatneighborhood.
I want to, you know, theneighborhoods you drive through,
you go, hmm, I wonder what shedid.
What they do.
Like she did something, and Istill do this.
Like I live in a greatneighborhood.
I still, in my mind, I still golike, yeah, of course that's you
know, Romney or whatever, ofcourse that's whose house that
is.
And I have such an appreciation,but I'm digressing here, but I'm
like, I love landscape and Ilove flowers.
(29:26):
I love all this stuff that kindof details the things.
And so walking around myneighborhood, I love it.
I live in holiday and I just Ilove walking around, and I
still, I still go like, hmm, Iwonder, I wonder what choices
you made to get there, you know?
And so when you grow up andyou're like, geez, all I want to
do is be rich because I don'twant to, I don't want to have my
own family experience what myfamily had to experience, you
(29:50):
you you are a littledisconnected from the realities
of what are most important.
So it's like, even though I wasunhinged for so long, and I
appreciate that because I tellpeople often.
And I traded my 20s for my 40s.
Like I worked in a way in my 20sthat like that's where people
are working in their 40s.
Like they're just grindingbecause they're in their
money-making years.
They're like, this is gonna setme up forever.
(30:12):
And so I didn't backpack, Ididn't have roommates, I didn't
like leave the country.
I didn't do those things.
I just worked.
Right?
There was like a we've coinedthis, my assistant and I putting
this chapter together recently.
And coined, there's basicallylike a seven-year period of my
life where I actually didn'ttake a vacation.
I just worked.
I missed most holidays with myfamily.
I just worked.
(30:32):
I'm not proud of that by anymeans.
It's just a reflection that Ihave the ability to go all in.
Like I can move with every bitof my might, heart, and way and
lean into it.
And so this kind of follow-upfrom that is I defined this
reason why I exist.
And it's it's been a big part ofmy health journey.
It's why I've lost seven inchesoff my belly button and added a
(30:55):
ton of muscle and mobility.
I can, I'm 6'3, I can standstraight up and put my palms on
the ground.
Like I couldn't even tie my shoelike three years ago without
losing my breath.
You know, and now it's like Icould run home and I'm okay with
that.
And it the re it's the reasonwhat drove my sobriety, and I
still have my challenges inthat.
But all these, a lot of thedecisions that I just pointed
towards are a byproduct of mymission, which is I want to live
(31:20):
for, I want to be as healthy asI can possibly be, to live for
as long as I possibly can, to bethe most incredible beacon for
the people that I love.
That's it.
If it doesn't point at thosethings, I just don't do it now.
Like it's why I loved yourpodcast because like when my
team's telling me, like, hey,this is just about like life and
sweat and just energy and thethings that are there.
That's that's very much onmission for me right now.
(31:42):
I don't know your guests or yourlisteners yet, but that's kind
of just where I'm at.
SPEAKER_00 (31:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Right on brand with what we'retalking about around here.
Let's say it like that.
I talk about the workouts andthe work ins.
And you talked about that a lottoday of like, yeah, physically
feeling better.
This vessel that already can doso much and tap into beast mode
can also tap into presence modeand health mode, and and and it
doesn't have to be only pigeonbold into what you think is
(32:10):
stereotypical for someone likeyou to own restaurants and do
all the things, and there'ssacrifices.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
You can be dangerous and kind.
Like, and I I think there's thislike kind of wolf mentality,
this reality of like I I trulybelieve some of the most dynamic
and beautiful and dangerouspeople have the ability to do
both.
And and I like that.
I I know that when it comes tolike protecting my family,
protecting those that I love,you know, in business, you have
(32:39):
to be your survivor.
I've proved that I could be thatfor so long.
Now it was like to be able towelcome my daughters in and that
essence and let them feel lovedand and that I could be gentle,
but also show them that dad canbe the monster for the family if
he needs to.
SPEAKER_00 (32:56):
Dangerous and kind.
SPEAKER_01 (32:58):
Yeah, and that's something that's important to
me.
Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
You know, that's dangerous and kind, whatever
you're becoming or whoever thatis, is is those things.
SPEAKER_01 (33:07):
Yeah, I think it's necessary for especially for
men.
unknown (33:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:11):
Father specifically.
unknown (33:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:13):
Does your dad live locally?
SPEAKER_00 (33:15):
My dad lives in California.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
Okay.
I've just seen you in with himin the dining rooms before.
SPEAKER_00 (33:19):
Yeah, yeah.
He's a great guy.
He's been on the podcast before.
SPEAKER_01 (33:22):
Cool.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
Definitely dangerous and kind.
Uh I grew up, he was a a coachand played baseball at a very
high level.
So um, yeah, that that dangerousand kind, that working for self
and team was always fostered.
So a lot of the stuff you shareddid it just yeah, parallel him.
Plus, he's yeah, super activeand fit and does his thing and
(33:43):
wakes up and does the total gymand you know, can still throw
and just like do things that wesometimes take for granted.
Like you said, touch your toes,all this stuff, right?
So um, great guy.
And we've had great mealstogether in your restaurants.
Um, last question here atSunday's Best, my favorite is
the pancakes, the gluten-freeones with the almond flour.
(34:04):
That's my favorite.
What's your favorite here?
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
I mean, I'm a little biased, right?
Because this is unique.
I'm giving out a little likeinsight.
There's actually not a singleitem on any of my menus that I
actually don't like.
I'm not someone who's like, oh,I put that on there because I
think I need to servicegluten-free or dietary
restrictions or vegan, whateverit is.
Like everything that's on anyone of our menus, I actually
(34:29):
eat.
And if I don't like it,regardless of being biased or
not, it just doesn't live there.
And I'm kind of like, well,that's what happens when they're
yours, right?
They're like kind of named afteryour crap, your your crest.
But right now, like currently, Icannot get away with these two
things.
Like our poke bowl, like thetuna, the sheer tuna bowl right
now is awesome.
And our fish tacos, like I ameating the fish tacos or the
(34:53):
tuna bowl almost every day whenI'm here.
So those are like my twocomplete standouts.
Um, and then if I'm like feelinglike a little frisky, then I'll
have the ricotta pancakes andjust like lemon current.
Like, I mean, these things arelike literally eating a
cheesecake.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
I always get breakfast food when I come here,
and then I get the pancakes too.
Even if it's just a few bitesand I take home the rest, I
can't come here and not havethose.
SPEAKER_01 (35:21):
That's just part of it.
And I think there's just like II reward myself.
Like, I'm not some of this, likeI'm gonna eat, and I don't eat
just for function.
Like a big reason why I train ashard as I do is so that I can
eat the way that I want to.
SPEAKER_00 (35:33):
Joy all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (35:34):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (35:35):
Yeah, thanks for your time.
Thanks for what you do in theworld.
I appreciate you.
Yeah, like you guys forlistening.
Um, and yeah, I look forward togetting to know you more.
Yeah, likewise.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Yeah, many cheers.
Yeah, and thank you all forlistening.
SPEAKER_00 (35:57):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
Self-Love and Sweat the Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode orwere inspired by it, or
something resonated with you, dome a favor and share this
episode with a friend, someonethat you think might enjoy this
episode as well.
That's the ultimate complimentand the best way to make this
(36:20):
podcast ripple out into theworld of others.
And also you can leave us areview up to five stars wherever
you're listening to the podcast.
Thank you so much for listening,and we'll see you at the next
episode.
I appreciate you.
Welcome to Self-Love and Sweat the podcast.
The place where you'll getinspired to live your life
unapologetically.
Embrace your perfectimperfections and do what sets
your soul on fire.
Fire.
I'm your host, London Susa.
(00:23):
As I was telling you before wepressed report, I'm like, I
don't have like preppedquestions.
Uh I don't have like a preppedbio, but I I know what I think I
know about you, right?
So like we'll kind of startthere, and then we can go and we
can fill in the gaps there.
Um, but I think social media hasbeen such a cool place to
(00:43):
connect with people.
In fact, I was just in Park Citya couple weeks ago meeting up
with this girl, Val, who I metwhile I was in Italy planning to
do stuff for my podcast and mether on Instagram.
We connected and then we weremet in in Park City and had a
good time.
So Instagram has been a cool wayfor me to connect with people
(01:04):
and meet others and just kind ofreally yeah, live life and be
out there.
And so I um came to yourrestaurant the first time a
couple a couple years ago when Ifirst moved out here.
My best friend Kara wasvisiting, and my neighbor goes,
Oh, you have to take her toSunday's best, right?
So I know that you are uh a manof service, you have a lot of
(01:27):
restaurants, you uh love to workout and care about health and
wellness and uh you know livingyour best physical life too.
I know that you have a beautifulfamily, you share pictures like
that on social media as well.
And then this is our first timeactually meeting in person, but
I was talking to my neighbor,the same neighbor that
(01:48):
recommended it come here uh thismorning.
And so I was like, oh yeah, it'sgonna be cool because I already
feel like who you are on socialmedia and what you share and how
you show up is pretty spot on towho I thought you would be in
person, and it is, and it'scool.
And so thank you.
We met on uh connected onInstagram.
I love eating brunch here wherewe're at at Sunday's best.
(02:08):
I've been to I always get itwrong.
Is it Woodfire, Oak Fire?
SPEAKER_01 (02:12):
So Oakwood Fire Kitchen, which is kind of near
your area, Draper.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
Took my dad there, took my mom there, took my
grandparents there.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
I think I remember that.
Like because it you'll tag me init from time to time, or I'll
see it on your social.
Yeah.
So thank you for that.
SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
So whether it's true or not, I've always heard that
Utah doesn't have the greatestfood, and your food is really,
really good.
And it's like the only places Ireally want to go outside of
eating at home.
So uh yeah, Michael owns a bunchof restaurants here that are
super delicious, and you show upfor the community, you uh show
(02:46):
up to do more than just servepeople food, right?
Yeah.
Uh, where did that come from?
Like, when did you start wantingto do restaurant things?
Like, where did this heart comefrom for living your life the
way that you do?
And where are you at now?
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Well, thank thank you so much.
One, I I appreciate the factthat you've been thoughtful
enough to like spend some timeto get to know us and know our
business and support it.
That's why it makes it reallyeasy for me to kind of
contribute time and want to youoffered me up onto your
platform, but it most definitelyseen you support our businesses
because I've seen you at ourairport location, I've seen you
here, I've seen you at OakwoodFire Kitchen.
(03:20):
Um, and so thank you.
Like, thank you for that.
Uh, I got into this business.
In fact, I had kind of nobusiness mean in this business
originally.
I came totally from the guestperspective.
I wasn't one of those guys thatlike grew up in the business.
I wasn't like a busser or adishwasher and became a server
or like a bartender.
When I got into the business, myfirst role in the business was a
(03:40):
general manager.
And so it was like, come in,lead people, figure out food.
And um, as I look at that kindof like hindsight, you know, 20
years later, I realize now thatit gave me such an advantage
coming from the guestperspective because I didn't
have some of the nuances or kindof the old school mentalities
that that come from industry aswell as when you're a chef,
(04:01):
you're like, oh, well, like I Itruly just don't obsess over
like where the cheese and thewine comes from.
Like I obsess over why you'rehere.
And it so happens that I get agreat you know, cup of coffee or
you know, pancakes, orchampagne, or a hot honey
pepperoni pizza, or you know, afresh slice of brisket, like
that, I realize that thatbecomes like the most beautiful
(04:24):
conduit to conversation andconnecting community through
just great food and craft andhospitality.
And so that's where my nichestarted.
It started because I realizedthat like, holy shit, I can
connect people through greatfood and great beverage.
And because of my obsession withpeople and the guest versus like
the backside of the restaurantthat most people are I think
(04:47):
that chefs and others findthemselves in just gave me an
interesting advantage toexperience create.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:55):
Yeah, and what I um was thinking when you were
sharing that, because yeah, youdidn't have I don't know, bottom
up or whatever direction, likeyou didn't have the insider
part, but you just knew likedeveloping the people,
connecting with the people thatthen worry about the details and
all the nitty-gritty stuff thatmaybe doesn't keep you up at
night, but connecting, and youhave a lot of restaurants, you
(05:16):
lead a lot of people, you leadyourself, you lead like how do
you what what fuels you?
What's your day-to-day like?
Um, we've talked about wherewe're at now.
If you guys are watching thevideo, we're in the table that's
kind of in the corner.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
So we're hiding out back here.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:30):
This is the spot where Michael wants you to find
and not find him.
SPEAKER_01 (05:35):
We're giving this away online.
I um by the way, I love theselike great questions.
And like even as I look aroundnow and I look at my team that's
out here, you know, shiftchange, yeah, finishing up after
serving just over like 300guests for the day.
And probably like one of thebiggest, biggest compliments I
ever get are when people comein, it's not like oh, the food
or the environment.
They talk about how they feel,and that's something that's
(05:56):
really big for me.
I think that why I fell so inlove with this business is I
think I was a true example oflike maybe not having a seat at
the table, maybe not being theone picked to, you know, dinner,
date, for the dance, whatever itmight be.
And so this is a true example oflike building your own table and
inviting people to it.
This is this is a true andpresent example of building what
(06:17):
I believe are the mostconnective and furthering dining
room tables in our communities,and I get to be like at the
forefront of that.
And so be able to invite peopleinto an environment, into a
menu, into a culture that reallycreates the opportunity for you
to be seen and also for you tosee.
And so when you are able to havean approach like that where it
(06:38):
is really about being the nextbest part of someone else's day,
whether that be someone you'venever met before, your life
partner, you know, friends,whatever it may be, my brands
make space for that.
And I feel like in therestaurant business, you don't
see a lot of that.
I think in the restaurantbusiness, it's like very like
wham and bam.
It's very like, it's allconvenient driven.
(06:59):
We our lifestyles are busiertoday than they've ever been.
And one thing that we focus onum heavily inside of our group,
especially operationally, islike humanizing the experience.
Like we're utilizing resources,platforms, advancements in
technology and equipment and allof those things to drive
efficiencies.
And oftentimes that might pullcertain people out of kitchen
(07:20):
functions or supply chainfunctions, where it allows us to
like basically offset that laborthat we gain back from those
efficiencies and make it eventhat much more get guest-facing
and uh experience creating.
And so, as you can see, this wetake a lot of pride in our
environments, whether it's atPicarica Americana Barbecue in
St.
George, and the stigma ofbarbecue must be like, oh, it's
(07:41):
dirty, it's earth toned, it'sthese things.
We we celebrate the fact thatit's bright and beautiful and
and flavorful, and we've just wetake a different approach, not
only aesthetically, butenergetically.
And so I loved hearing you say,like, hey, when I see you on
social, first time I've met youin person, it feels similar.
To me, I feel like that is so umcritical that like what I share
(08:06):
on social is very much what yousee.
I almost use my stories as likemy daily journal, in a sense,
that share visuals and insights.
Um, sure, like I've had a bigevolution in my life, like
personally, emotionally, ummentally, physically over the
past like three yearsspecifically.
And I found a really like deepappreciation for like
(08:28):
self-awareness and self-worth.
And that is really kind of whatshapes every decision I make
now.
And you know, I lived so much ofmy life without like really a
purpose, just this excitement tobe successful, this excitement
to create, this excitement tobuild.
(08:49):
You know, my family, I had agreat family, you know, growing
up, but not like a motivated,driven family.
No one in my family wasconcerned about like what
college I was going to or whatthe future looked like for me or
how they were studying.
My dad just made sure I wasloved.
And he made sure there was aroof over my head, which I think
is a total cheat code.
If you can spend every day ofyour childhood knowing that
(09:09):
you're loved, I think you canfigure a lot of things out.
And so that was um yeah,totally.
I I shared a note with my dadyesterday, and I was like, gee,
I'm the father of three.
I run a big business, close to300 team members.
We're a multi-million dollarcompany.
And I sent my dad a noteyesterday because my dad showed
up under every condition, likewhether he was battling, you
(09:31):
know, debt challenges orrelationship challenges or
divorce or substance abuse, likewhatever it might be.
You know, my dad, my dad mostdefinitely had some
opportunities with alcohol whenI was younger, but it never got
in the way for how he raised me.
Like I can't think of a singletime that my dad didn't show up
for me.
And I and I shared that too withhim yesterday.
Like, Dad, Matt, I just want youto know, like, I see you in
(09:53):
that.
And I realize as a father ofthree who runs a big business,
who has big aspirations, who'shad a lot of growth and has
failed a ton, my dad is acomplete standout because he
just he just always shows up,and even to this day, and he
just did it anyways.
And I I have a lot of justadmiration for that.
(10:14):
Um, and so that's it's kind ofwild because I get in these
conversations, and yeah, thebusiness is awesome, but when it
really comes down to it, I meanI spend the majority of my time
making sure that the life anddecisions that I'm making and
the opportunities that I'mproviding and creating for
others are very close to myreward center, and that's just
important to me now.
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said self-awareness, right,and self-growth.
SPEAKER_01 (10:40):
Yeah, and self-love, self-love, right?
SPEAKER_00 (10:43):
Learning from our ancestors and ways things were
and what we aimed and what wecan now give.
And then like you said, nowyou're parenting and that's
right.
I I love how you shared thatbecause yeah, you're doing a
lot, you're running a lot ofbusiness.
There's all the things all thetime, right?
But how do we uh, or what wouldyou say to someone who feels
(11:03):
like you know they can't makeself-growth a priority or health
and wellness?
I know you like you said yourstories are like your day-to-day
journal, gym selfies, likeshowing up.
What is like, yeah, to use yourword showing up, what's showing
up for you, and how do you dothat day-to-day?
So then you can Hey, reallyquick, I want to interrupt the
podcast for just a minute totell you about one of my
favorite supplements for hair,skin, nails, digestive, and gut
(11:27):
health.
And that is Snap SupplementsSuper Greens with Collagen.
Now, if you're following me onsocial media, you've probably
seen me post about this a bunchbecause honestly, this product
tastes amazing and it'sjam-packed with nutrients, like
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SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
You know, I wouldn't recommend my approach, at least
early.
I think the reflection and thegrowth in the last like three or
four years for me, I think, ismost definitely one to I don't
believe that you have to becomeso unhinged in any one direction
that you ultimately create alarge wake or casualties.
With that, I was definitely onethat I had created early and
sustained success in my careerand life.
(13:37):
But I got to the point when itwas like when I had created what
I believe is the most relevancein my personal brand and my
professional uh business, I waskind of like the most lost and
lonely, and I had pretty muchsabotaged like every
relationship around me because Ihad just burned the candle at
both ends.
I had just leaned so much intocreating monetary and visual and
(14:00):
asset success and not likeactually becoming uh healthy and
I think grounded and reflective.
And so I'm 40, I'll be 43 thisyear.
And I didn't see my like my trueself and reflection until I was
40.
Like I hadn't really seen myselffor the first time.
I had seen what I had toldmyself to see, if that makes
(14:23):
sense.
Like I had I had very much likehad this very self-convincing
narrative that like this is whoI am.
And I had convinced myself thatI wanted to be at war, that I
wanted to be at battle, thatsuccess or else, like hell or
high water, like this is whatI'm gonna do.
And I exhausted myself and Isabotaged the relationships that
were most meaningful to me.
(14:45):
And it was virtually impossibleto be close to me because I
wasn't close enough with who Iactually was and who I actually
am in order to even provide thatto someone else.
I lacked so much self-love thatI didn't even have the ability
to love you back.
I didn't even love me yet.
And so when I saw myself for thefirst time, I had this really
interesting experience that youcan't unsee it.
(15:07):
It was like there was thisimmediate like responsibility
and stewardship that was like,oh, now that you see who you
are, let's go to work.
And what's wild is I mentionedbefore is that I didn't even
think I had a bunch of work todo.
I was like, holy shit, like mybusinesses are awesome, my
personal brand seems awesome.
And at the time I was like, Iwas like, I weighed like 75 more
(15:27):
pounds than I do right now.
I was like, I was out of shapementally and physically.
I was self-convincing.
I I was lying to myself, I waslying to others.
And um when I saw that, I justcouldn't see it.
So I went to work and I wasn'tmad at like my current self or
(15:48):
prior self.
I was just a little confused.
Like, how'd we get here?
And like, why do we take so manypeople with us and why did we
lead this wake?
And and so there was that kindof early resent.
There were some feelings of likeresent and some shame associated
with that, and that was mainlyaround the fact that I just
didn't know what I didn't knowtill I saw it.
(16:08):
And I had this really artful andbeautiful ability to
compartmentalize things, likenot really feel all of them,
just sort of recognize them andthen like tuck them away and
move on and bury myself in work,bury myself in the next deal
flow, bury myself in the nextmoment, experience, travel, you
know, whatever it might be.
And and now I don't deal with itthat way.
(16:31):
It's it's interesting.
I worked with my therapist likesome time ago, and we were
talking to her, and she's like,I'm like, I don't know that I
wanted to turn these feelingson.
Like all of a sudden now, like Ifeel everything.
And I went from like kind ofbeing somewhat disassociated
with feelings that got in theway for me.
I kind of just closed them offand didn't allow them in.
And oftentimes I would suppressthem with a great bottle of wine
(16:52):
or a new relationship or youknow, buying a new car or like,
you know, dressing outfit,whatever it is.
And I remember telling her, I'mlike, I don't know that I really
want to feel this way.
I don't know that I really wantto do this work.
But the truth is I'm doing it.
And and the truth is some daysit's way easier than others.
But when I started doing it,London, I realized, I was like,
(17:16):
oh shit, I have such a greaterpurpose.
I have such an influence to helpmove and lead the hearts of men.
If I can think of something thatneeds to duplicate in its
likeness, greater than anythingelse, I think it's great men.
I think great men that are justhonest to themselves, that are
honest in their situations, thatlive very fluidly, that aren't
(17:39):
just great providers in theirfamilies and and and as fathers,
but they're great participators,that they're participants, that
they are involved, that they canbe there emotionally,
physically, and monetarily andexperientially.
And I just didn't know that thatwas important for so long.
And so now I I kind of sit herein this sort of airy nature with
(18:00):
you and go, I actually don'tlove war.
I don't love being at war.
I actually love peace.
I actually enjoy slow mornings,I enjoy like high-fiving and
hugging my team and seeing themwin and succeed.
I like walking my little girlsaround the neighborhood and
taking time to like look atsomeone else's garden or sit
down on the grass or you know,create our own animation and our
(18:24):
own zoo along the way.
And three years ago, four yearsago, ten years ago, I didn't
even care about something likethat.
Five years ago, I wouldn't havegiven myself a chance to think
that way.
And today I'm like, I don't knowthat I'd ever want to think it
any differently.
And what's most interestingabout much of what I just said
is that one of the biggestreasons that I held myself back
(18:45):
from truly feeling and beingconnected to my life and to
myself in this way is that Ifelt like it would cost me, it
would cost me success, it wouldcost me outcome.
And the truth is, my businesseshave never been better.
Like my teams have never beenhealthier.
My the our cultures have neverbeen safer.
You know, one of the things Ilove about our gals, if you
(19:06):
walked up to Emily, Aki,Jennifer, Samantha, whomever's
here right now, I think one ofthe things they would tell you
inside of our culture is likeone of the biggest things that
stands out most is that theyfeel safe here.
They feel safe in what we'redoing.
And that's a huge compliment forme.
I don't know that teams feltthat way years ago, right?
Like party boys and doing allthese, you know, like you're
everyone's just, I don't knowthat fraternizing is the right
(19:28):
word, but like everyone's justkind of it's a restaurant
business.
And and now I just reallyappreciate where we are and the
work that we're doing.
And I think it's just allstarted with really just gaining
self-awareness and learning tolove me.
SPEAKER_00 (19:46):
Yeah, just gaining self-awareness, right?
That like you said, that mirrormoment where you're like, wait,
I was looking not at a mirror,maybe at a mask.
Here we are, let's get real.
And like you said, I don't knowif I really want to do this, but
I can't not because I openedthat door and now here we are,
and things are better andjuicier and more connected than
ever.
And then, like you said, you'reyou're slowing down for all the
(20:08):
micro moments of the day-to-day.
Of my friend Eleanor says, Dowhat you do while you're doing
it, or be where you are whileyou're doing it, you know, along
the lines of, like you said,pushing your kids on the swing,
the moments of one-on-oneconnection with one employee at
one of your restaurants and thethe culture that you mentioned
and what you're creating withyourself and the way that it's
trickling into these places.
(20:29):
You can tell.
And I didn't know your otherrestaurant was yours for a
while.
I'd eaten there maybe twice.
And then my friend Mallory waslike, Oh yeah, that's the same
place as the brunch place you goto.
It's like, oh yeah, whatever,like you mentioned, that feeling
of safety, connectedness to themission.
Clearly, you're doing that foryourself in your internal world,
or else you can't guide otherpeople to do that.
But like you said, it's a it'suh a job only you can do.
(20:52):
It's an insider's job.
And even over the last threeyears, getting to know yourself
more and helping all of that,you know, tap into what you're
doing.
SPEAKER_01 (21:01):
It's also it's interesting because I I used to
feel like life, like theevolution of things were like
peaks and valleys instead oflike ebbs and flows, especially
someone that spent so much oftheir life like wanting to
control the the environment tocontrol the outcome.
And there's like this kind ofold quote, I don't even know
where I learned this the firsttime, but it's like we spend so
much time, oftentimes too, asdrivers, like a personality like
(21:24):
mine that's just like big go.
And I'm like a be brief, bebright kind of style.
I don't need a lot of details,but I just I just go.
And I want to control the ocean.
Like that was just that'snatural to me.
Natural to me is I want tocontrol everything inside of it.
And I have definitely the lastfew years learned that like it
is definitely not aboutcontrolling the ocean.
(21:45):
Like, that is up to theuniverse, that is not up to us,
but we definitely have aresponsibility and a duty to
learn how to surf the waves, andthat's something that I found
that life no longer peaks andvalleys, it just ebbs and flows,
and we just kind of carve intothings, like in and out of
things.
And I'm not always in alignment,like I know when I'm not.
I I not every decision I make ison mission as much as I want it
(22:06):
to be.
And you know, I spent a hugepart of my life um, you know,
altering my mind and partyingand and and going sober was this
like really beautiful awakeningand also like very challenging
because I didn't realize thatlike so much of my lifestyle, I
had like built this lifestylethat sort of suppressed certain
feelings, or like I was using itas this tool to calm my my
(22:30):
neurodivergence in a sense thatyou know I'm not a neurotypical
kind of person.
Like I most definitely kind ofthink in 3D, and I can I just
have this kind of outer, I don'tknow, visual in a sense.
And so I had to learn too that Ihad built a lifestyle and
basically habits and ritualsthat kind of served those
(22:51):
things, and so changing thatfelt like I was ripping down
this identity, like it wasripping away these layers.
I was I was born again severaltimes.
It was really interesting, but Iknow there's like these parts of
me that sort of just expired,friendships that expired and
things that just no longerserved me.
It was like, you know, you takethe tap, the cap off, and it
(23:11):
just it's rotten, you're notgonna drink it anymore.
And I struggled with that for awhile because I still wanted to
take a drink of that poison.
I still wanted to, like, I stillwanted to test it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:20):
Like, is it still good?
It's still past inspiration.
SPEAKER_01 (23:24):
I'm kind of like, I'm I'm very candid about this
stuff.
I've written about it recently.
I share it on my stories often,but like I'm still I still have
this like 10% to go, I feellike.
In no way do I feel feel I'vearrived, but it's like this last
10% of not wavering with um withyour boundaries, with your
(23:44):
commitments, with your mission,with your reasons.
And and I still want tochallenge that.
I still, it's like it's likethis last bit of like almost
breaking through and being mymost humanized version.
I still want to, I still want towaver with this shit from time
to time.
And uh, and this is like reallyfresh for me right now.
(24:05):
And so I love it because I cancome into my restaurants and I
can see how happy people are, Ican see the meaningful jobs that
we're creating, I can see theimpacts that we're having in the
communities, I can I can seewhere I stand, and I realize
that I just have so much more todo, and so much more that I can
do, and I can be this healthyforce, especially in my
(24:27):
industry, that's not necessarilyknown for being healthy.
Like the food industry.
Have you ever worked in arestaurant before?
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
No, I've never done it.
You've never you never served orbartended or anything, yeah.
Yeah, never.
I served.
Um there was this jewelry storein Southern California where I
went to school that did anannual Christmas party, and then
we would serve like horsd'oeuvres and champagne, but
that's all I ever did in termsof of that arena.
So I have no idea how any thisworks.
SPEAKER_01 (24:51):
I just yeah, it definitely just can use.
I mean, it's rare that arestaurateur is sober.
That's rare.
You know, it's it's rare thatyou have cultures that you know
in the restaurant business thatare very like healthy and
connective, and um, and so we wejust press on it, you know, we
just press on a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is there anything um that youfeel like you are like working
on right in like in this moment?
I mean, you're opening upanother restaurant, but like you
said, you're trying to push theenvelope here.
What specific goals are you likewhat's lighting you up right in
this in yeah, thank you, thankyou.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Um by the way, I I really appreciate how like
thoughtful your questions are.
Um I have a lot of things thatI'm I'm definitely working on
right now, but like one thingI'm I'm really like leaned into
right now is just it's veryenergetic for me, but I'm really
trying to stay just in my flowof energy.
I'm trying to adjustrelationships or even uh my
(25:56):
presence and how my mind and mybody responds to things, and so
I'm pretty intense.
Like I'm pretty intense, right?
So if there was like a scale toone to ten, I think most people
would be like, oh, he runs itlike a six.
And I'm like, and I can go froma six to a twelve, like quick,
not in like an angry way, justin like a like a big presence
(26:16):
way, and I'm really trying tojust take a breath in things and
just sort of relax inside of it.
Because even though I'm relaxed,I'm still moving at a really
high pace.
So I'm really just trying to umlean into that, um, take just
take breath and and sort ofenjoy that.
And um, you know, I went toDisneyland with my twins a few
(26:38):
weeks ago, and I had made thisgoal to myself that you know
having two three-year-olds atDisneyland for three days is a
lot.
SPEAKER_00 (26:45):
It's Olympic sports, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
And I and I I set this like intention when I get
there that I was just I wasgonna maintain my mental
faculty, that I wasn't gonna getfrustrated, or like there's
gonna be like even if it's likeif I turn around and like I get
a I get a soda poured on me orlike an ice cream falls off, or
people bump into me, or like mylittle girl, you know, poops her
pants and has an accident, whichmany of the things I just shared
(27:08):
have all happen all happened.
And I just I just set thisintention that I was like, I'm
not gonna, I'm not gonna lose mycomposure.
And I didn't.
And so sometimes that meant likeI had to go for a walk, or I
needed to make sure, like I'dnever been to Disneyland before
where I actually went and ran onthe treadmill in the morning
before we went to Disneyland.
It was like I was like, I wasliterally like, I didn't even
(27:29):
know they had treadmills here,like, who's doing that when
you're walking 20 miles?
But that was part of this goalright now for me to be very
present in these moments.
And like I just had probably oneof the best concert experiences
of my entire life.
I took my 14-year-old to PostMalone.
And two or three weeks prior tothis, he had just performed here
(27:49):
in Salt Lake City.
But three or four weeks prior, Ihad just seen him live at
Coachella.
But his performance at RiceEccles fully outnumbered his
performance at Coachella.
And I was there with like my14-year-old, and like we're
singing like word for word,we're dancing.
It just was like this reallymagical connective moment.
And I'm like, I would have nevergot that under the influence.
(28:12):
I would have probably neverdecided to go to a concert with
my 14-year-old when I could havegone to a concert with my
friends to party.
And so I'm just I'm learningthis new way, and I'm learning
to make decisions that pointtowards my reward center and
like really why I exist.
And you know, we touched on thisa little bit before, but I
don't, I didn't know why Iexisted.
(28:34):
I was just like, I just want tobe rich.
I just didn't want to, I grew uppoor in a sense.
Like we always had a roof overour head, but we wouldn't have a
lot of choices.
SPEAKER_00 (28:41):
So you're like not that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:43):
Like neither of my parents ever graduated high
school.
Like, my dad's a stud, like hecares so much, but he's probably
never made like over$50,000 ayear in his life.
And there's just in today'sworld, there's not a lot of
choices in that, in that arena.
And and so like I just I from ayoung age, I'm like, I want that
family.
Like, I want the boat behind thecar, I want, I want the the
captive connective experience.
(29:04):
I I want to live in thatneighborhood.
I want to, you know, theneighborhoods you drive through,
you go, hmm, I wonder what shedid.
What they do.
Like she did something, and Istill do this.
Like I live in a greatneighborhood.
I still, in my mind, I still golike, yeah, of course that's you
know, Romney or whatever, ofcourse that's whose house that
is.
And I have such an appreciation,but I'm digressing here, but I'm
like, I love landscape and Ilove flowers.
(29:26):
I love all this stuff that kindof details the things.
And so walking around myneighborhood, I love it.
I live in holiday and I just Ilove walking around, and I
still, I still go like, hmm, Iwonder, I wonder what choices
you made to get there, you know?
And so when you grow up andyou're like, geez, all I want to
do is be rich because I don'twant to, I don't want to have my
own family experience what myfamily had to experience, you
(29:50):
you you are a littledisconnected from the realities
of what are most important.
So it's like, even though I wasunhinged for so long, and I
appreciate that because I tellpeople often.
And I traded my 20s for my 40s.
Like I worked in a way in my 20sthat like that's where people
are working in their 40s.
Like they're just grindingbecause they're in their
money-making years.
They're like, this is gonna setme up forever.
(30:12):
And so I didn't backpack, Ididn't have roommates, I didn't
like leave the country.
I didn't do those things.
I just worked.
Right?
There was like a we've coinedthis, my assistant and I putting
this chapter together recently.
And coined, there's basicallylike a seven-year period of my
life where I actually didn'ttake a vacation.
I just worked.
I missed most holidays with myfamily.
I just worked.
(30:32):
I'm not proud of that by anymeans.
It's just a reflection that Ihave the ability to go all in.
Like I can move with every bitof my might, heart, and way and
lean into it.
And so this kind of follow-upfrom that is I defined this
reason why I exist.
And it's it's been a big part ofmy health journey.
It's why I've lost seven inchesoff my belly button and added a
(30:55):
ton of muscle and mobility.
I can, I'm 6'3, I can standstraight up and put my palms on
the ground.
Like I couldn't even tie my shoelike three years ago without
losing my breath.
You know, and now it's like Icould run home and I'm okay with
that.
And it the re it's the reasonwhat drove my sobriety, and I
still have my challenges inthat.
But all these, a lot of thedecisions that I just pointed
towards are a byproduct of mymission, which is I want to live
(31:20):
for, I want to be as healthy asI can possibly be, to live for
as long as I possibly can, to bethe most incredible beacon for
the people that I love.
That's it.
If it doesn't point at thosethings, I just don't do it now.
Like it's why I loved yourpodcast because like when my
team's telling me, like, hey,this is just about like life and
sweat and just energy and thethings that are there.
That's that's very much onmission for me right now.
(31:42):
I don't know your guests or yourlisteners yet, but that's kind
of just where I'm at.
SPEAKER_00 (31:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Right on brand with what we'retalking about around here.
Let's say it like that.
I talk about the workouts andthe work ins.
And you talked about that a lottoday of like, yeah, physically
feeling better.
This vessel that already can doso much and tap into beast mode
can also tap into presence modeand health mode, and and and it
doesn't have to be only pigeonbold into what you think is
(32:10):
stereotypical for someone likeyou to own restaurants and do
all the things, and there'ssacrifices.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
You can be dangerous and kind.
Like, and I I think there's thislike kind of wolf mentality,
this reality of like I I trulybelieve some of the most dynamic
and beautiful and dangerouspeople have the ability to do
both.
And and I like that.
I I know that when it comes tolike protecting my family,
protecting those that I love,you know, in business, you have
(32:39):
to be your survivor.
I've proved that I could be thatfor so long.
Now it was like to be able towelcome my daughters in and that
essence and let them feel lovedand and that I could be gentle,
but also show them that dad canbe the monster for the family if
he needs to.
SPEAKER_00 (32:56):
Dangerous and kind.
SPEAKER_01 (32:58):
Yeah, and that's something that's important to
me.
Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
You know, that's dangerous and kind, whatever
you're becoming or whoever thatis, is is those things.
SPEAKER_01 (33:07):
Yeah, I think it's necessary for especially for
men.
unknown (33:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:11):
Father specifically.
unknown (33:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:13):
Does your dad live locally?
SPEAKER_00 (33:15):
My dad lives in California.
SPEAKER_01 (33:16):
Okay.
I've just seen you in with himin the dining rooms before.
SPEAKER_00 (33:19):
Yeah, yeah.
He's a great guy.
He's been on the podcast before.
SPEAKER_01 (33:22):
Cool.
SPEAKER_00 (33:22):
Definitely dangerous and kind.
Uh I grew up, he was a a coachand played baseball at a very
high level.
So um, yeah, that that dangerousand kind, that working for self
and team was always fostered.
So a lot of the stuff you shareddid it just yeah, parallel him.
Plus, he's yeah, super activeand fit and does his thing and
(33:43):
wakes up and does the total gymand you know, can still throw
and just like do things that wesometimes take for granted.
Like you said, touch your toes,all this stuff, right?
So um, great guy.
And we've had great mealstogether in your restaurants.
Um, last question here atSunday's Best, my favorite is
the pancakes, the gluten-freeones with the almond flour.
(34:04):
That's my favorite.
What's your favorite here?
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
I mean, I'm a little biased, right?
Because this is unique.
I'm giving out a little likeinsight.
There's actually not a singleitem on any of my menus that I
actually don't like.
I'm not someone who's like, oh,I put that on there because I
think I need to servicegluten-free or dietary
restrictions or vegan, whateverit is.
Like everything that's on anyone of our menus, I actually
(34:29):
eat.
And if I don't like it,regardless of being biased or
not, it just doesn't live there.
And I'm kind of like, well,that's what happens when they're
yours, right?
They're like kind of named afteryour crap, your your crest.
But right now, like currently, Icannot get away with these two
things.
Like our poke bowl, like thetuna, the sheer tuna bowl right
now is awesome.
And our fish tacos, like I ameating the fish tacos or the
(34:53):
tuna bowl almost every day whenI'm here.
So those are like my twocomplete standouts.
Um, and then if I'm like feelinglike a little frisky, then I'll
have the ricotta pancakes andjust like lemon current.
Like, I mean, these things arelike literally eating a
cheesecake.
SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
I always get breakfast food when I come here,
and then I get the pancakes too.
Even if it's just a few bitesand I take home the rest, I
can't come here and not havethose.
SPEAKER_01 (35:21):
That's just part of it.
And I think there's just like II reward myself.
Like, I'm not some of this, likeI'm gonna eat, and I don't eat
just for function.
Like a big reason why I train ashard as I do is so that I can
eat the way that I want to.
SPEAKER_00 (35:33):
Joy all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (35:34):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (35:35):
Yeah, thanks for your time.
Thanks for what you do in theworld.
I appreciate you.
Yeah, like you guys forlistening.
Um, and yeah, I look forward togetting to know you more.
Yeah, likewise.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Yeah, many cheers.
Yeah, and thank you all forlistening.
SPEAKER_00 (35:57):
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
Self-Love and Sweat the Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode orwere inspired by it, or
something resonated with you, dome a favor and share this
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