April 4, 2025 • 45 mins
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Bryan Driscoll's Goodness Game stems from a stranger's kindness 20 years ago. Discover how small acts ripple outward, when to set giving boundaries, and how to give sustainably. Learn your helping style, conduct an energy audit, and practice intentional kindness to avoid burnout. This episode is for those who want to help others with longevity and heart.
🎧 Listen now and take the Goodness Game quiz at: goodnessgame.com
Who is Bryan Driscoll?
Bryan, a first-time author, promotes kindness after a stranger's act 20 years ago. This fueled his Goodness Game. Pittsburgh-based, he balances a digital agency, family life with his wife and three sons, and overcoming life's challenges, finding joy in skiing and family time.
Connect with Bryan:
TikTok: @goodnessgame
IG: @thegoodnessgame
YouTube: /thegoodnessgame
Facebook: /thegoodnessgame
Timestamps to help you navigate this episode
0:00 Intro
0:24 FREE Self Love & Sweat MONTHLY Calendar
2:05 From Pittsburgh to Orlando: A Leap of Faith
11:35 Learning to Fall and Get Back Up
12:22 Everyday Kindness: Simple Ways to Make a Difference
23:28 The Goodness Game: Choosing Kindness Even When You Want to Quit
31:43 Understanding Your Capacity to Give
FREE Self Love & Sweat Monthly Life Coaching Calendar: http://lifelikelunden.com/calendar
2 FREE HIGH INTENSITY RESISTANCE TRAINING WORKOUTS: https://lifelikelunden.activehosted.com/f/169
One-On-One Life Coaching & NLP with Lunden:
http://lifelikelunden.com/vip
Connect with Lunden:
IG: @lifelikelunden
YouTube: https://youtube.com/lundensouza
LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lundensouza/
Twitter: @lifelikelunden
Use code LUNDEN25 for a discount on Snap Supplements: https://bit.ly/snapsweat
Podcast Sound Design Intro & Outro: https://hitspotaudio.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lunden Souza (00:00):
Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the
place where you'll get inspiredto live your life
unapologetically, embrace yourperfect imperfections and do
what sets your soul on fire.
I'm your host, Lunden Souza.
Hey, before we jump into thisepisode, I just want to make
(00:27):
sure that you get all the freethings possible, if you haven't
already.
You need to get your self-loveand sweat free monthly life
coaching calendar.
Honestly, the way to experiencedeep change in your life is by
doing small, little things overtime, and so that's what you'll
(00:48):
find in this free calendar.
You can get it by going tolifelikelunden calendar.
Get yours for free and let'sget into today's episode.
Happy today and welcome back tothe .
Today we have Bryan Driscoll asour guest.
And Bryan.
(01:09):
20 years ago, a stranger pickedhim up off the street when he
had nowhere else to go, and thissmall act sparked a desire to
pay it forward, leading to thegoodness game.
Bryan currently lives inPittsburgh with his amazing wife
and three sons.
He runs a successful digitalmarketing agency and his biggest
(01:30):
strength is getting up whenlife punches him in the face and
it's punched him a few times,though he might not have
deserved them.
When he's not working.
He enjoys skiing with his sonsand spending time with his
family.
So grateful to have you heretoday, Bryan.
Welcome to the podcast.
Bryan Driscoll (01:49):
Hey, thanks for having me.
Lunden Souza (01:53):
Yeah, when we first planned to do this episode
and knowing that, yeah, you'reall about goodness and kindness
and these small acts here, andthen when I read through more
about you, I know there was abig moment in your life or a
seemingly small moment that madea big impact in your life, and
(02:13):
I think we've yeah, a lot ofpeople listening for sure have
been punched in the face, andit's not always easy to get back
up and turn things around.
So I kind of want to startthere.
What was that moment like?
When you had nowhere else to goand somebody extended a small
big act of kindness your way?
What happened?
Bryan Driscoll (02:34):
Yeah, it was kind of crazy.
So whenever it happened it justseemed like something normal to
me.
I was going to sleep I can tellyou the story in a sec.
But I was going to sleep at aGreyhound station, I had nowhere
to go and some lady just pickedme up and gave me a place to
stay.
I'm young, I'm like, okay, well, this is cool, this is nice.
(02:55):
Not realizing people don't dothat.
You know what I mean.
That's a really odd thing forsomeone to do.
So I had an angel looking outfor me or something there.
Lunden Souza (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, a Greyhound bus station.
And you said how old were you?
Bryan Driscoll (03:07):
I was right about 18.
Lunden Souza (03:10):
Got it.
And how did you get to theGreyhound bus station?
Like what led up to that moment.
Bryan Driscoll (03:15):
Yeah, so what happened was I was pissed at my
parents, right.
So I used to get in troublewhen I was younger and I'm like
you know what I I'm like youknow what.
I was pissed I don't evenremember what for.
So I was in Pittsburgh, where Ilive, and I just went down to
the Greyhound in Pittsburgh andI'm like, hey, you know what,
I'm taking the next bus that'sleaving.
So it was going to Orlando,florida.
So I hopped on the bus, hadlike maybe 250 bucks, had some
(03:36):
boxes and like a duffel bag, noplan, but it was just like
literally next where I was, nextplace was leaving or next, uh
place the bus was going.
So like 24 hours later, likegreyhounds they don't go in a
straight shot, you're like cityto city, you're meeting all
kinds of characters.
So it was almost like a 24-hourride.
And I got to orlando.
So on the last stretch I wastalking to the cut, this couple.
(03:56):
They're like, hey, where areyou going?
Like, what are you doing after?
And this is before cell phones,before ubers I said I don't
really know, I'm kind of wingingit.
So they took me back to theirplace and, uh, we pulled out the
yellow pages, called around andfound a hotel.
It was 25 bucks a night so thisyellow pages, yeah, like
literally in the day it was like, like my kids aren't even gonna
(04:18):
know what a yellow page theydon't even.
There was a.
There was a wall phone with arotary on it.
Lunden Souza (04:23):
Right yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (04:25):
Yeah, so yeah, my kids are no one's going to
know.
They're like what?
There's a phone on the wall,you know.
But so we call around.
I got a hotel.
It was a day's end for 25 bucks.
So I'm like, all right, I got alittle bit of money, I got a
place to stay now and I hung outand then tried to figure out,
okay, what's next.
So my idea was I'm going tojust go get a job and I'm moving
(04:45):
to Florida, I'm just stayinghere.
So I go to a Publix.
It was a grocery store.
Lunden Souza (04:51):
And.
Bryan Driscoll (04:51):
I'm like, hey, I want to get a job and realized
it's really hard to get a job ifyou don't have an address and a
phone number.
So it's like you don't thinkabout it.
Especially people that arehomeless too.
Everyone's like why don't theygo get a job?
It's not that easy because,like, how do you even get the
application?
How do you fill out theapplication?
(05:14):
So I was there.
I'm like, okay, I'm going totalk myself into getting a job.
So I talked to the manager.
I'm like, hey, I'm a hardworker, here's what I can do.
And he's like, even if I could,you're not going to get paid
for like two, three weeks.
That's not how jobs work.
You work and you get paid inarrears.
So I'm like, okay, crap, I gota problem.
So I was starting to run out ofmoney and I found a place they
have these places in Florida.
It's called a job labor poolwhere you go and you just show
(05:36):
up and you work for the day.
So I went, signed up there.
It's like you make 25 bucks aday and you get paid at the end
of the day and you stand there,guys pull up and pick up trucks
and like, hey, we need laborers.
We'll take five guys.
So I'm doing that and I'm like,okay, I'm making money at least
(05:56):
to pay the hotel.
I got a job.
We are carrying scaffolding.
So the guy comes, picks us up,takes us.
It was super, super hot andwe're carrying scaffolding.
They were building like thisfake tree, like a big tree right
.
Looking back on it, I'm prettysure that was the animal kingdom
when they were building it.
Lunden Souza (06:08):
Oh, okay, in Orlando yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (06:10):
Yeah, which is cool.
But I'm just doing that andit's like blistering hot and I'm
getting paid, but the problemis I don't have any money for
food.
So I got to thinking I'm likeyou know what?
I was in a Greyhound station.
They're open 24 hours a day.
I'm going to go there and crashfor the night because I don't
have enough for the hotel and Ifigured that would buy me some
(06:30):
extra money.
So then tomorrow I could goback to the hotel and eat and
everything.
So I'm walking to the Greyhoundstation with my duffel bag and
everything and some lady pullsup beside me just out of the
blue.
She had an old you rememberwhat the geo trackers are Like
those old, real small black Jeeplooking things Okay, yes, yes,
yeah.
So she pulls up and she has heradult son in the car.
(06:51):
She looks over and she's likehey, it doesn't look like you
belong here.
Where are you going?
And I told her and I don'tremember really what we talked
about but she took me back toher house me back to her house
it was like an hour away fromOrlando gave me a place to stay,
put me up for a couple ofnights, fed me and then spotted
me some money and helped me geta job.
It spotted me some money for adifferent hotel, right.
(07:13):
So it's like that's kind ofwhere it triggered, and I'm
young at the time, I'm thinkingthere's no big deal.
I'm like, well, this is prettynice.
Some lady picked me up Me.
Lunden Souza (07:23):
Now, looking backwards, it's like people
don't do that, like it's not anormal thing and it's like Well,
yeah, and the safety ofinviting a stranger in your home
and the just like you said.
It was kind of like oh cool,nice lady.
Bryan Driscoll (07:37):
Looking back now you're probably like are you
still friends with this lady,like, is she in your life?
No see, that's the thing.
So what happened was I cameback to Pittsburgh, started
doing whatever like 18 to 21year olds do drinking, all that
kind of stuff and just got backto life.
She spotted me 300 bucks rightFor the hotel, which the deal
was I'm going to pay her back.
Time went on.
(07:57):
I don't have her contact infoand I owe her 300 bucks still,
that's.
And I saw the movie Pay itForward and that's kind of what
like kind of trickled.
It's like okay, I can't pay herback, I feel guilty about that,
but maybe I can start helpingother people with like kind of
make myself not feel as bad andlike pay it forward, you know.
So I still don't know who sheis.
I don't have any way to contacther.
(08:19):
Oh my gosh.
Lunden Souza (08:25):
I hope that she's listening.
If this woman is listening, orfind her, you know someone's
listening, who knows someone,who knows someone that knows
this story?
I would love for that to cometo fruition.
But that's so incredible and sothe movie Pay it Forward that
something just clicked inside ofyou.
That's like wait, if I can'tpay this person back, let me go
out and help others inspire.
What did you do?
What was your first?
Did you go and give somebodythe $300?
(08:46):
Did you just start being kinder, like where did you start when
that switch happened?
What did Bryan go and do?
Bryan Driscoll (08:55):
I just started keeping my eyes open, so it
wasn't anything intentional.
It's basically like keep youreyes open.
I didn't go looking for peoplethat needed help, but when
things came across, I said yes,so that's just kind of what I
did.
I'm like, keep your eyes open.
I didn't go looking for peoplethat needed help, Right, but
when things came across, I saidyes, so that's kind of just kind
of what I did.
I'm like you know what this isgoing to be my my thing now.
I can't pay her back.
Um, when things pop up, I'mgoing to help them out, you know
(09:16):
.
Lunden Souza (09:18):
Yeah, and I I was mentioning to you, um, before we
pressed record on this podcast,I did an episode a while back
on random acts of kindness and Ijust reached out to listeners
and people on Instagram and wasjust like, hey, if you have a
story where somebody just waskind to you for no reason or
(09:39):
whatever, tell me about it.
And yeah, it was the smallestthings, right, like one of them
was a girl who I think was atHome Depot and she was by
herself getting stuff and someguy came out and just helped her
carry everything and load itinto her car and get that all
(09:59):
taken care of and unload itwhere she was going.
Another one was a guy that hewas mowing his lawn on the mower
and a couple came up to him andjust stopped him and they're
like you take such good care ofyour lawn and we just see you
showing up and you look so goodon you.
Great, we just wanted to tellyou how awesome you are.
(10:22):
And then he even said he kindof looked away and then looked
back and like where did thesepeople go?
You know, it was like thatmoment and it was like the
littlest things of just likehelp and support and affirmation
and just being able to say, hey, you're doing a good job, like
you're enough, like what you'redoing now is great.
And I loved that episode and Iloved listening to all those
(10:45):
videos and recordings that theysent in, because it's a reminder
that we don't have to takehours out of our schedule to
volunteer not that you don'tneed to and you can, and you can
spend your whole weeks and allyour hours in service, whatever,
but it sometimes is just thosequick moments.
You know that we can just, likeyou said, keep our eyes open
(11:08):
and notice when someone needsmaybe the door opened for them
or they might be carryingsomething that you could support
with or a genuine compliment.
You know, I think and maybe youknow, you notice this too it's
like people are so tunnelvisioned into their own life and
their own to-dos and all thethings they need to get done,
and not to discount it, becausewe all have a lot going on, and
(11:30):
I know every one of ourlisteners has a lot going on,
but those opportunities to keepour eyes open are just so
important to being human, don'tyou think?
Bryan Driscoll (11:42):
I do and it's funny too, like you're saying
this small things, like, likethe guy cutting the grass, it's
like those people probablydidn't think they're helping him
out, but on that day peoplelike like if you get a
compliment on a day, that's likea crappy day Sometimes.
That's what makes a difference,and the people doing it don't
even realize they're just beingnice people and it's like really
the small things that can trulyhelp the trajectory of someone
(12:02):
else.
Lunden Souza (12:05):
And I know in your bio it talked about how you're
no stranger to getting knockeddown by life and picking
yourself back up when life doesits life thing which, yeah,
seems like you've experienced alot of how do you still come
back and then keep paying itforward and keep sharing your
(12:28):
kindness?
And what have been some ofthose moments where you've got
knocked down and got back up andthen still decided that
goodness was going to be yourgame?
Bryan Driscoll (12:38):
Yeah.
So yeah, I've had like, justlike everybody, I've had some
tough things happen and it'slike sometimes you just want to
quit.
You're like you know what thisjust freaking sucks.
It's like you keep doing thingsover and over and it's like you
just can't get ahead.
I came up with a phrase Ialways just tell myself just try
one more time.
Just like, okay, I don't haveto do a whole bunch of stuff.
All I got to do is get back up.
(13:03):
Once you actually down inFlorida too, with a, with a guy
who turned out to be like not anon-ethical and like ripping
people off, and I lost all mycash.
It's like, okay, that's onething.
It's like it stings.
Learn your lesson.
Like every time you fail, Ithink it's great.
I actually kind of I don't likefailing, but it's like a great
learning experience, as long asyou only do it once.
It's like you learn to do that.
(13:24):
Learn something from it.
Then you still get it.
But then I would just try tojust get back up.
I had problems before.
I got too excited about work.
I work a lot and didn't sleepand it kind of broke my brain.
It's like, okay, you have someissues there, but then you learn
it's like, okay, you've got toregulate your health, you got to
regulate your sleep, thingslike that.
And if you learn from it, dothe mistake once you're good and
(13:44):
then hopefully you don't makeit again.
Lunden Souza (13:55):
Yeah, yeah.
That doing all the things untilyou realize you're maxed out is
something I hear a lot from theclients that I work with.
It's like we have these big,ambitious goals and we want to
serve with excellence and welove to work and are
purpose-driven.
But then figuring out the gasand the brakes right we can't be
all gas all the time.
Sometimes we have to pump thebrakes there and I'll push back
(14:15):
a little bit kindly, becausesometimes it takes more times
than just once.
Sometimes you relearn the samelesson in a lot of different
forms and a lot of differentways until you finally surrender
to like, okay, wait, actually.
No.
My mentor often says if you gotan issue issue and you have to
point the finger back atyourself and like, okay, where
(14:38):
do I need to pivot or makeadjustments so that I don't find
myself getting knocked down bythe same thing over and over
again.
In your life experience, has itbeen where you just failed and
figured it out and then movedforward, or was there any
hiccups in that journey?
Bryan Driscoll (14:55):
No, there's always hiccups.
So me telling myself, just tryone more time.
It's kind of like tricking mybrain.
So say, for example, inbusiness I probably failed like
100 times.
I don't know.
I failed a lot of times and soevery time I failed it's like
okay, just try one more time.
So it's kind of like metricking, it's like I don't have
to.
Before I figured out how tosucceed in business.
It's not like I had to gofigure out how to do all this
(15:15):
stuff.
It's like, okay, it made iteasier for me to manage.
But like, let me just try onemore thing and see if I can get
back up, try it again once.
And then I get kicked back downagain.
But instead of me thinking, ohboy, I got to try 50 new things,
this is going to take me fiveyears, in my head I'm like, okay
, I just got to get back up andtry one more thing and it's just
a cycle.
So you're right, sometimes Iget punched like 100 times In
(15:39):
business.
It took me so long to figureout how to do that, like how to
be in business and like work formyself.
But then I figured it outeventually.
If you don't quit, you know.
So it's basically you just keeptrying until you figure it out.
Lunden Souza (15:50):
Yeah, you'll figure it out eventually if you
don't quit.
Bryan Driscoll (15:53):
Right.
Lunden Souza (15:54):
And I think that's what happens is a lot of people
give up too soon, or thoseblows and punches yeah, we're
not able to bounce back fromthem.
That's why I think community isso important Podcasts, just all
the things that could help ushave a little umph and drive to
(16:15):
like what happens if I get backup, what happens when I don't
stay down, what happens when Ichoose a little bit more of that
victor over the victim and justpush a little bit further.
I always am inspired Well, yeah, I'm definitely inspired by the
history of myself, of themoments I've pushed through, and
I think there's nothing morepowerful than like I've done
(16:36):
that before so I can do it again.
But I also love hearing otherpeople's stories of just like
that hard moment and I still didit anyway and I think if that
can move the needle just alittle bit or turn the knob
towards trying one more time,that could be the time that
could be that game changermoment.
(16:58):
Yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (17:01):
Yeah, if you keep trying, you're going to
figure it out eventually.
Or you're going to die Likeyou'll figure it out, or you're
going to get too old.
But if you keep trying for likelife, you're going to figure
out what you're trying to do.
Lunden Souza (17:11):
Yes, um, I know that you're a father and a
husband and, um, especially whenI'm thinking about how are your
, are your sons, teenagers?
Bryan Driscoll (17:22):
Yeah, so I have a 13 year old-old, 10-year-old
and a 9-year-old?
Okay, yeah.
Lunden Souza (17:27):
And, yeah, I mean Times are always changing but,
like you said, back in the dayyou were no phone or you had to
do the dial, the circular phoneor the ones where you dial the
numbers or whatever call,collect all the things.
Now it's so different for kidswhere you have so many ways to
(17:48):
be so connected to our own worldand our friends and our things
and whatever.
So how do you parent and foster, let's say, that culture within
your family of giving back andI know we have a lot of parents
listening and sometimes kidsjust want to be on their video
games or be with their friendsor not open up their eyes to the
(18:11):
possibility of that.
How do you parent kids thatwant to pursue kindness and
goodness and give back?
Is that something that you yeah, what's that like in your
family?
How do we support thisgeneration to like get off their
iPhone and get into, like, thehuman world of engaging with
(18:32):
people?
Bryan Driscoll (18:33):
Yeah, that's a good question.
So you're right, because evenmy kids, they always want to be
on tech, even like adults.
Everyone's on their phone thesedays.
So I do a couple of differentthings.
We have them do chores everyweek, right, and they get an
allowance.
And I got them a bank.
It's actually one of the DaveRamsey banks that has three
different we love Dave Ramsey,cool yeah.
I like his stuff, so he has thespend.
(18:54):
It's kind of like the adultversion that he has also.
But in the bank the trianglehas three sections One spend,
one give and one save.
So it's like, okay, say you getfive bucks, or say 10 bucks for
an even number, say they get$10 for something, $8 goes in
your spend, $1 goes in your give, $1 goes in your save.
So they see that and it's notthat much money going in every
(19:16):
time.
But eventually I remember, likemy sons, they had like 10 bucks
in the give and what I did wasthere's a place down the street
from me.
It's called Shim and they dealwith it.
It's like a food pantry.
So instead of just donating themoney, I took them in to
physically hand the people themoney.
And then they got to see what'shappening and the people in the
place too explained to them.
(19:36):
They're like which I didn't evenknow.
They said it's nice when peopledonate money for us versus
things, because they say we canbuy five things of peanut butter
for the same price you can getat one at the store, because
they buy from the food bank andstuff.
So.
But the kids got to see thatSame thing, like they just got
to see that same thing, likethey just and I think it's
important just how you live,because your kids you're not
even teaching them really,they're just seeing what you do.
(19:58):
So it's like if you're going toa football game and there's a
homeless person, they see yougive money to that person or
they see you being kind topeople.
They just learn because they'remimicking what you do.
So some's intentional, some'snot intentional, just byproduct.
Lunden Souza (20:16):
Yeah, and at the same time they're learning
valuable financial skills thatwill carry them into the rest of
their life.
And yeah, you're right, I um,you do.
Just see what your parents do.
And we can't just tell I'm nota parent, but I'm an, I'm an
aunt and I work with a lot ofkids.
It's like you can't just tellI'm not a parent, but I'm an
(20:36):
aunt and I work with a lot ofkids.
It's like you can't just tellthem what to do.
You have to be that anddemonstrate that and show that.
And yeah, it just made me thinkof my own parents.
My mom's a hairstylist and shewould go and donate her time to
cut hair at the homeless shelter.
Or, like my dad oh my gosh,probably more times than I can
(20:57):
count on both hands He'll spotsomeone like a homeless guy
outside of a restaurant and goin and he'll always say like I'm
not going to give you money,but I'm going to buy you a meal,
and he'll go and get themwhatever they wanted, but not
for any recognition or reward,just because that's the heart of
who they are.
And I think, yeah, it's thoselittle moments, those little
(21:17):
things that then kids and theyounger generation start to see,
and I also love that you guyswent to the place and gave them
the money right, because a lotof people have a lot of money
right and it's easy just towrite checks and give and not to
discount.
That I know it's reallyimportant, but don't you think
there's something about gettingyour hands dirty a little bit
(21:39):
outside of just sending themoney a bit?
Bryan Driscoll (21:42):
Yeah, I do, especially with the kids too,
because kids at least my kidsare so used to being instant
gratification in front ofcomputers, things like that.
It's like they can hear thatthere's people out there in the
world that have problems.
But when you go and you see aplace that looks like a grocery
store that people go to causethey can't afford food, they see
that and it's different.
(22:03):
It's real, you know, versusjust hearing about it.
You can tell kids stuff youdon't know what's in their head,
what they're imagining whenyou're saying it, but when you
take them somewhere, they canactually see it and I think that
kind of connects more.
Lunden Souza (22:22):
Yeah, yeah, because you're like you said,
you're on screens or you seethis world or you get to be kind
of wherever you want in yourzone.
But there's a lot going on inthe world that unless we go out
and see it and witness it, it'seasy just to kind of dismiss or
just kind of get back to yourown bubble.
And I know that you've, yeah,the goodness game and you're a
(22:44):
first time author and all thethings.
Tell us about your mission andjourney.
Now.
I know you want to bringgoodness and kindness to the
world.
What's your big, audacious goalwhen it comes to this?
What mark do you want to leavein the world?
In the same way that that womandid that day.
(23:07):
I just think that's so wild.
Just pulling over, come on, getin.
It's like that is, like yousaid, an angel moment.
I just think that is so that.
But what's your?
I don't know how old you arenow you don't have to say that,
but you did mention death andI'm super motivated by death.
I have a sign on my fridge thatsays you're going to die.
No one cares.
It's time, let's go.
(23:27):
So I feel very motivated by thefact that this life is
temporary and I don't want toplay small and I don't want to
have a list of.
I wish I would have you know atthe end of my life Um, so what?
What's your goal and mission?
Um, now and moving forward.
Bryan Driscoll (23:47):
Yeah, sure.
So I'm 44,.
I'm turning 45 in like twoweeks from now, so happy
birthday, yeah.
So I would like my goal.
So that lady helped me at firstI saw, okay, something she did
made an impact in my life.
So I got to thinking.
I'm like I wonder if, becauseeverybody says small acts make a
big difference, right, but it'slike and I'm skeptical a lot
(24:07):
too Like, with all the media andstuff, I'm like I don't know
what.
I believe you got to prove itright.
So it Right.
So, to answer your question, mygoal is to prove to people that
you can do small, excuse me,you can do small things and they
do make a big difference in theworld.
Right, you don't have to dolike big, grandiose things.
I think it's really smallthings in the world that make a
difference, and that's why I putthe goodness game together.
(24:28):
I'm like how do you promotekindness?
Because, like your dad and youwere saying too, they just do it
to be kind.
Like it's not, it's kind ofcringy to go out and talk about
being nice If you're talkingabout yourself, right, it's like
you don't go make social mediaposts saying, hey, look at me,
look at the good stuff I do,maybe you can do it.
So I was thinking for like 10years probably, like how do I do
(24:52):
this and make it sociallyacceptable?
Well, games are acceptable, youknow.
So it's like, okay, we can dothe guidelines here.
It's not about hey, look atwhat each person does.
It's it's kind of like aframework, kind of like um, what
was that?
There was a game that peoplehad a 75 hard for lifting and
like working out.
Lunden Souza (25:11):
Oh, and they had to work out twice a day and he
drank a gallon of water and do amillion burpees.
Bryan Driscoll (25:15):
Right.
Lunden Souza (25:16):
Yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (25:17):
So that's kind of what I was thinking.
I'm like you know what?
So they made that into a gameand people can get behind it,
because it's like.
It's like a game of life.
It's not like a game you win orlose, you just get to win
because you're doing good things, you know.
So that's kind of what I wasthinking on this side of the
goodness game.
I'm like if we can putsomething together there that
inspires people to open up theireyes, be kind to people and
(25:39):
also show you don't have to gostart a nonprofit, you don't
have to go and donate millionsof dollars.
Lunden Souza (25:48):
That's where the goodness game came from.
That's what it's about, yeah,yeah.
So can you explain a little bitabout the game and like what,
what it entails?
I mean, I want everyone to doit, I'm going to get mine too.
So can you explain a little bitabout the game and like what,
what it entails?
I mean I want everyone to do it, I'm going to get mine too.
So I want to know, kind of what, what is it about?
How many people do you need?
Like, are you going out anddoing things, or are you just
talking about them, or what'sthe?
What's the gist?
Bryan Driscoll (26:08):
Yeah, sure.
So here's the framework.
I break it into five roles,right?
So have you ever seen fightclub?
Lunden Souza (26:13):
Yes.
Bryan Driscoll (26:14):
Okay, so I was thinking fight club.
The role of fight club is youdon't talk about fight club.
Yeah, I was thinking in thisgame it's like the first rule is
give without remembering.
So rule number one is we're notbragging other people, we're
doing things.
There's a couple of differentways to do it Like.
Number one is you can dosomething and help somebody else
and nobody even knows, not eventhe person that got helped.
It's like totally pure kindness.
(26:35):
The second way is you'rehelping someone and the
recipient knows.
The third way is you know andother people know the only way
you can do.
The third way is if you'reinspiring them to play the game.
So, for example, your neighborwas in a car accident or
something and you want to rallythe neighborhood to make dinner
(26:56):
and for them like split it up,like that's the way you can
involve other people byinspiring them, and like trying
to involve them in the game.
We don't do anything likeposting on social media and
stuff like hey, look at what Idid, stuff like that.
It's like that's the first ruleis you just do it to be kind.
We're not bragging.
Right, I'm a helper by nature.
(27:21):
I'm just like.
It's just like I'm.
I'm built for it.
I feel bad and I like try tohelp people and I found
sometimes I'd get intosituations that I'd actually be
putting myself in a worsesituation, like, say, back in
the day, um, I'd I'd getinvolved with like, say, I don't
know cutting grass or somethingLike.
I found that there's likedifferent ways that you can help
people.
You can help people by sweat,like doing things.
(27:43):
You help people.
You can help people by sweat,like doing things.
You can help people financiallyand you can help people like be
an empathy, like being therefor them.
And I started to look, I'm likesome of these things that I do,
I'm like freaking, drained atthe end of the day, but then
there's other things I do thatI'm pumped, like I could just do
it forever.
So and I started thinking aboutthat and I think everybody's
built for something and I'm notbuilt for what you're built for.
(28:05):
Everyone just likes doingdifferent things, like some
people like cleaning the house Ihate cleaning the house, you
know, and so and so I startedthinking it's like okay, how do
we explain to people?
How do you find out what yourstyle is?
So in business, I do somethingthat's called an energy audit,
where you take a piece of paper,draw a line down the center and
on one side of the paper yousay what gives you energy.
(28:27):
One side, what takes yourenergy away?
And you write down everythingyou do for a week and at the end
of the week the stuff thattakes your energy away is stuff
you should delegate, like inbusiness, right?
So I thought about that on.
I got that from a book calledBuy Back your Time by Dan
Martell.
I got that from a book calledBuy Back your Time by Dan
Martell.
But I started thinking aboutthat.
I'm like, okay, that works inbusiness.
How about in your life?
(28:47):
You're not really delegating it.
But if we're thinking abouthelping people, why don't we
class different things intodifferent columns too and see
okay, what do I really, whatgives me energy also that I can
do a lot of, and what drains myenergy?
(29:08):
So I can intentionally thinkwhen something pops up, you know
what that's going to take a lotof energy for me and I can make
a decision.
It's like you know what I cando it and I'm worth it, and I'm
aware it might burn me out, or Iknow that, hey, you know what I
can't do, that long term.
I can't commit to it.
And you got to set yourboundaries.
Make sense, yeah.
Lunden Souza (29:20):
Yeah, totally.
It reminds me of a quote that Iheard from well, she said it
one time Chalene Johnson, who Ilove.
She's just someone I follow onInstagram, but she said just
because I know how to do it or Ican doesn't mean that I have to
, and especially with yeah, whenyou want to give and you want
to serve.
It also makes me think of toochronic givers, right, of people
(29:41):
who just give, give, give, give, give and have no energy left
in their tank.
And it's not coming from aplace of like the goodness game
route let's say it like that orthat mission.
It's coming from like justtrying to do all the things for
other people, right, and so Ithink kind of of both, of like
that delegation and not needingto give.
(30:03):
Yeah, giving is great, but whenyou give all of yourself and
there's nothing left for thepeople that you love or, like
you said, your energy is drainedbecause of it.
Maybe shift.
It's kind of like the lovelanguages.
It's like what's your givelanguage and what's going to
help you.
I always feel like giving, youshould be also receiving, right.
If you're giving too much andyou're not receiving, you're
(30:25):
going to feel maxed out and so,like you said, figuring out ways
that you feel charged up fromgiving, because we're all
different in this world, sosomebody else is going to feel
charged up from giving in theway that you feel drained when
you give.
So you don't have to do all ofit, right, but I know noticing
when it's when it's too muchright and it's giving too much
of yourself.
Bryan Driscoll (30:44):
Yeah, and you know what, it's funny too.
So what I did was on the on thegiving.
It's funny.
You said that your mom went andcuts hair for the homeless.
Because what I did?
I put a quiz together.
I'm like, okay, how can peoplefind out what their helping
style is?
So I put a quiz together.
I have friends that go downtownevery Sunday and they round up
people and they feed like 150homeless every week all the time
and I thought about theirorganization.
(31:05):
I'm like, okay, what are allthe things that go into what
they need to do?
Like they have to round peopleup, they have to buy food, they
have to do this.
So I came up with like 20different things.
One of them is going down andcutting hair, like one of the
helping styles that you canselect on the quiz.
But you take the quiz and ittells you, okay, you might be a
financial helper or anempathetic helper or a sweat
(31:26):
helper, and you can kind of see,okay, and most people are more
than one.
But you can kind of see, okay,you select from what this
organization does the thingsthat you would be drawn to and
the things you wouldn't be drawnto, and then it kind of gives
you a little indication on whatyou'd want to do, along with the
energy audit, you know.
Lunden Souza (31:43):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Some good takeaways for thoselistening to do that energy
audit.
I've done it before.
It's so helpful within yourwhole life, within your business
, within your relationships,like it's so great to have, it's
a great conversation startertoo with yourself and with
others of oh, that gives youenergy, oh, that really takes my
energy, or vice versa.
(32:04):
And then identifying and we'llput a link to that quiz or all
the things so that our listenerscan participate just to figure
out what is my giving style orwhat do you call it, my giving
language, or what is it Helpingstyle, my helping style?
Yeah, and I can think of too,right, when you said some of
(32:25):
those options, I'm like, okay, Idefinitely like I'm a doer,
right, but I can't do that allthe time.
I also love the empathetic,energetic space of being able to
help.
That's the coaching that I do,but there's also a capacity to
that too, right, I can only holdspace for a certain amount of
(32:46):
time, or I only have a certaincapacity for that.
That maybe has nothing to dowith time and it's so I find
myself, yeah, knowing when I cangive and help, you know, and be
that doer, but just enough.
And then knowing when I canhold that space and kind of
dancing between those helpingstyles.
(33:08):
So I'm excited to learn moreabout that.
Because I love technology, Ilove podcasts I obviously have
one.
I love social media.
It's where I grew my.
I mean, I've been on socialmedia since I was 17 and just
have been going and growing andall of that.
But I tell people this toosometimes I'm like, yeah, I like
(33:30):
to go places in person becauseI like to see legs, because I'm
on Zoom and I'm on Riverside andyou see torsos all day, and I'm
like, yeah, I want to see yourlegs in real life.
And just like, because we'rehuman and we need that
connection and we need to, yeah,remind ourselves of that soul
connection and those angelmoments right, where we could be
that in someone else's life orthey're that in our life.
(33:51):
And I just, yeah, for thoselistening, it's just, we got to
get out of the screens and offof you know the yeah, the media
and tap into, like, real life,like we're here, we're alive
right now and we have a lot ofstuff going on in our lives and
we pass by people on the streetright, like I mean, I could pass
(34:12):
by you and I'm not, you know,thinking oh man, this guy at you
know 18, had nothing and was on.
You know you just pass bypeople and we're always my
friend said this, my friend Kara, she's like.
You know it's wild becausewe're walking around and we're
all the main characters of ourown lives and we need to
remember that everyone else hastheir.
(34:32):
They're the main character oftheir life too.
But if we get too stuck in justour role, our life I'm the main
character we miss out on somuch that is good about being
alive, which is connecting withothers.
Bryan Driscoll (34:49):
That's a really good point too, because you
figure like you're walking downthe road and you say, say, you
see someone panhandling.
They're the main character oftheir life.
A lot of people just look andignore and stuff.
It's like that's a person who'sdealing with stuff.
Like in their life and in theirhead they got real struggles.
You know, like everyone hasthat, and not necessarily that's
an extreme too.
Everyone in the world's got,everyone in the world's battling
something almost all the time.
It's big for them, you know bigfor each other is different for
(35:17):
everybody.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, so,yeah, okay.
So we got the helping style,though, and then some of the
helping style.
It could be like you got afinancial helper, empathetic
helper, sweat helper, it's likea, like a collaborator you could
be.
You could just be the guy.
It's like, hey, I got a guy,you're the, just a connector.
You know what I mean?
Um, and then so rule numberthree we'll jump to that.
Not everybody's your assignment, so it's like you figured out
(35:38):
what's your style.
Yeah, it connects, right, right.
Lunden Souza (35:43):
I resonate, I'm snapping, that's me clapping.
Bryan Driscoll (35:48):
Yeah.
So I've learned sometimes youcan't help people or sometimes
you're not the person, they'renot your assignment to help.
So, for example, we'll saysomebody comes to me, maybe you
have a drug problem or something.
I'm not the person to help youbecause I'm not.
I'm not capable.
I can actually do more harm.
My job is to connect you withsomebody.
That is or am I enabling?
(36:09):
Like it's like you just have tobe able to tell is this in your
helping style?
Can you actually help out?
Is it not burning you out?
And then be okay, intentionally.
It's like you know what.
I'm not the person who'sassigned to you're not my
assignment.
You know what I mean.
It's like you have to be ableto differentiate because, like
you were saying before, if yougo into helping spree, you get
(36:29):
involved in some things youshouldn't be involved with.
You have to know and likebalance your life.
Lunden Souza (36:35):
Not everybody is my assignment For sure not
Impossible, but some I mean Ihear that and I know someone
listening hears that too andit's like you said, maybe you're
the connector, so it's like youcan have someone come in and
you can't.
Not everyone's your assignment,but maybe you know someone or a
(36:56):
podcast episode to listen to ora book to read or just any like
nugget.
That can, um, put them in adifferent direction.
Yeah, not everyone's myassignment.
I can think of moments in mylife where I definitely thought
everyone was my assignment andtry to do all the things,
especially when I was in thefitness world.
(37:17):
I just wanted to help everyoneget in.
It's like you can't and noteverybody's ready for that and
not ready for the help and thesupport sometimes too, and I
love that.
So those are the four.
Can you say the four rulesagain, or the?
yeah, remembering give withoutremembering find your helping
style find your helping style.
Bryan Driscoll (37:36):
Not everybody's your assignment.
You're right what you just saidthere too, um, people, some
people aren't ready for help.
You have to know that, likethey want help and you can see
that they need help and you'retrying to help them, and
sometimes you try to help peoplefor your own, like cause.
You can see it, it's like dude,I can really help you.
All you need to do is X, butthey're not ready and you have
(37:57):
to be able to take that stepback and say, okay, it's not my
time right now.
You know.
Lunden Souza (38:03):
So huge, yeah, so good.
I'm really excited to to get myhands on that game and to share
that with with people in mylife.
It's, um, yeah, I'm excited toknow you and excited to know
about this.
This is really, really cool.
Bryan Driscoll (38:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , it's fun.
So then, okay, so we'll get theroll number.
So we have roll number four iscreate your good notes budget,
and roll number fives keep score.
So then okay, so we'll get torule number four.
So we have rule number four iscreate your goodness budget, and
rule number five is keep score.
So in rule number four, you gotto create a budget.
If you're going to help peopleand not burn out because you can
, it's a there's somethingcalled like a kindness burnout,
like helping burnout.
You know what I mean.
Like you burn out because youtry to help people too much.
(38:40):
So if you have a helping style,that's a financial helping
style where's the money comingfrom?
Or if you're paying with sweat,like your energy, where's the
energy coming from?
Or where's the time coming from?
So what we're looking at is ifyou're going to help financially
, like I'm a financial helper, Ihave a couple of helping styles
.
That's one of them.
Every time I get paid, I pull acertain percentage of my money
(39:03):
and I put it into a separatebank account.
I just call it like the giveaccount, so that now that money
is sitting there, when somethingpops up, I don't have to think
about if I can afford it.
If the money's there, that'swhat it's for, I just don't even
think about it.
So it's like you pre-budgetahead of time.
I used to get involvedfinancially and try to help
people out, especially before Ihad any money, and I'd help them
(39:24):
out and then comes the end ofthe month, I can't make my bills
.
I'm like I just gave away mymoney because I felt bad.
So you want to be realintentional and budget your
money right.
Same with your time.
It's like okay, if you're goingto spend time and energy,
where's it coming from?
Are you pulling 30 minutes a dayfrom Netflix?
Are you blocking off an hour onSaturday to do Meals on Wheels?
It's like you need to thinkahead of time.
(39:45):
Where is it coming from,especially when you get involved
with organizations.
It's like if I'm giving you anhour on Saturdays, organizations
are always hurting forvolunteers, so you have to know
ahead of time.
These are my boundaries.
This is where I can help andknow how to say you know what?
I only got this hour and a halfor hour, whatever I budgeted,
and say no and keep in your lanetoo, so that you can balance
(40:07):
your life, because otherwise,like you're saying you're
volunteering for 40 hours, burnthe candle at both ends and
you're like you can't help otherpeople if you're not healthy
and have a balance.
Lunden Souza (40:18):
Yes.
You have to charge yourself up,insert all the quotes, can't
pour from an empty cup, but it'slike we say that we know that
and then a lot of people stilldo that.
So I love that.
You, yeah, and especially thefinancial part.
Right, we want to give, but wehave to make sure that we're
taking care of ourselves firstand our needs are met and our
(40:40):
safety and security.
Or else, like you said, whereis that coming from?
And I love the idea of having agive account.
I'm going to do that.
I think I have the accountalready, but I'm going to call
it the give account and startmoving money there in that way.
That's really powerful.
And then, when there's thatopportunity to give, you check
the account and you decide, okay, can I budget?
You know, is there enough moneyin this account to give in this
(41:02):
way?
And can I use this for multiplegives or one big give?
I think that's yeah.
There's a book that I love and aman, an author, that I love and
know, ken Honda.
He has wrote a book calledHappy Money.
I adore him, he's so great.
But he talks about having happymoney, of just that money that
you can give.
(41:22):
Right, it's not happy money ifyou're giving and you don't have
nothing left to pay your billsand all the things.
So that made me think of thatas just like that happy money,
the give account that's justsmiling and ready to be a
blessing in someone else's life.
Bryan Driscoll (41:38):
Yeah, and it's so cool too, because if you have
the money sitting there,there's no emotion or there's no
thought in it or anything.
It's not like oh you know what,I don't know if I can afford it
.
And then you got to think it'slike if it's over there, there's
no thought.
It's like as long as you thinkthat that is a worthy cause,
that you want to help with themoney's there.
Lunden Souza (41:55):
So good, so good.
But, yeah, any closing thoughtsfrom your side.
Bryan, I'm excited for thesefive points that you brought up
in our discussion today and I'llput all the links for this game
and your work in thedescription.
But, yeah, let our listenersknow how they can further
connect with you or be a part ofyour mission and movement in
(42:18):
this world.
Bryan Driscoll (42:19):
Yeah, sure.
So if you want to check out andtake the helper's test or do
the energy audit, you can checkout the website.
It's goodnessgamecom.
I actually I put the book on.
You can get the book on Amazon.
If you can't afford the book, Iput it on the website for free.
You can just download the PDFright on the website.
And the cool thing is too, whatI've realized is like you go
help on people, you actually getthe benefit.
(42:40):
Like it's like a byproduct isyou get to feel good, you know.
So it's like I would say,number one, go out and do
something small for somebody.
And then, number two, thinkabout the things like you were
saying before.
Who did something in your lifethat made a big difference in
your life?
That was a small thing to them?
Maybe let them know too.
Sometimes people don't evenknow they made a big difference.
(43:01):
Like hit them up and be likehey, you know what.
You did this for me way back inthe day.
It made a big difference in mylife.
You probably don't even knowthat.
I just wanted to let you know,you know.
Lunden Souza (43:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's the assignment for today.
For sure, Go out and send thatmessage to the person that
supported you and just saythanks.
That moment that seemed smallbut just impacted your life in a
really powerful way.
I don't really usually givehomework or assignments on
episodes, but I just feel like,for those listening, that's your
(43:33):
call to action is just take outthat phone, turn off the social
media or don't go there, go onto or unless you want to send
that person a DM, but like stopscrolling and send that message
of gratitude for someone thatsupported you.
And I'll put all those linksthat you mentioned, Bryan, in
the description for you guys sothat you can take those quizzes.
You can grab the book on Amazonor the free version that Bryan
(43:57):
is so graciously given on hiswebsite.
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for inspiring metoday.
I feel, yeah, a little bitcharged in a new way, Um, and I
yeah so glad to have you today,Bryan.
Bryan Driscoll (44:10):
Hey, well, thanks for having me, I
appreciate it.
Lunden Souza (44:12):
No problem and see you guys at the next episode.
Bye, thank you so much forlistening to this episode of
Self Love and Sweat, the podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode orwere inspired by it or something
resonated with you, do me afavor and share this episode
(44:35):
with a friend, someone that youthink might enjoy this episode
as well.
That's the ultimate complimentand the best way to make this
podcast ripple out into theworld of others, and also you
can leave us a review up to fivestars wherever you're listening
to the podcast.
Thank you so much for listeningand we'll see you at the next
(44:57):
episode.
I appreciate you.
Welcome to Self Love and Sweat the podcast, the
place where you'll get inspiredto live your life
unapologetically, embrace yourperfect imperfections and do
what sets your soul on fire.
I'm your host, Lunden Souza.
Hey, before we jump into thisepisode, I just want to make
(00:27):
sure that you get all the freethings possible, if you haven't
already.
You need to get your self-loveand sweat free monthly life
coaching calendar.
Honestly, the way to experiencedeep change in your life is by
doing small, little things overtime, and so that's what you'll
(00:48):
find in this free calendar.
You can get it by going tolifelikelunden calendar.
Get yours for free and let'sget into today's episode.
Happy today and welcome back tothe .
Today we have Bryan Driscoll asour guest.
And Bryan.
(01:09):
20 years ago, a stranger pickedhim up off the street when he
had nowhere else to go, and thissmall act sparked a desire to
pay it forward, leading to thegoodness game.
Bryan currently lives inPittsburgh with his amazing wife
and three sons.
He runs a successful digitalmarketing agency and his biggest
(01:30):
strength is getting up whenlife punches him in the face and
it's punched him a few times,though he might not have
deserved them.
When he's not working.
He enjoys skiing with his sonsand spending time with his
family.
So grateful to have you heretoday, Bryan.
Welcome to the podcast.
Bryan Driscoll (01:49):
Hey, thanks for having me.
Lunden Souza (01:53):
Yeah, when we first planned to do this episode
and knowing that, yeah, you'reall about goodness and kindness
and these small acts here, andthen when I read through more
about you, I know there was abig moment in your life or a
seemingly small moment that madea big impact in your life, and
(02:13):
I think we've yeah, a lot ofpeople listening for sure have
been punched in the face, andit's not always easy to get back
up and turn things around.
So I kind of want to startthere.
What was that moment like?
When you had nowhere else to goand somebody extended a small
big act of kindness your way?
What happened?
Bryan Driscoll (02:34):
Yeah, it was kind of crazy.
So whenever it happened it justseemed like something normal to
me.
I was going to sleep I can tellyou the story in a sec.
But I was going to sleep at aGreyhound station, I had nowhere
to go and some lady just pickedme up and gave me a place to
stay.
I'm young, I'm like, okay, well, this is cool, this is nice.
(02:55):
Not realizing people don't dothat.
You know what I mean.
That's a really odd thing forsomeone to do.
So I had an angel looking outfor me or something there.
Lunden Souza (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, a Greyhound bus station.
And you said how old were you?
Bryan Driscoll (03:07):
I was right about 18.
Lunden Souza (03:10):
Got it.
And how did you get to theGreyhound bus station?
Like what led up to that moment.
Bryan Driscoll (03:15):
Yeah, so what happened was I was pissed at my
parents, right.
So I used to get in troublewhen I was younger and I'm like
you know what I I'm like youknow what.
I was pissed I don't evenremember what for.
So I was in Pittsburgh, where Ilive, and I just went down to
the Greyhound in Pittsburgh andI'm like, hey, you know what,
I'm taking the next bus that'sleaving.
So it was going to Orlando,florida.
So I hopped on the bus, hadlike maybe 250 bucks, had some
(03:36):
boxes and like a duffel bag, noplan, but it was just like
literally next where I was, nextplace was leaving or next, uh
place the bus was going.
So like 24 hours later, likegreyhounds they don't go in a
straight shot, you're like cityto city, you're meeting all
kinds of characters.
So it was almost like a 24-hourride.
And I got to orlando.
So on the last stretch I wastalking to the cut, this couple.
(03:56):
They're like, hey, where areyou going?
Like, what are you doing after?
And this is before cell phones,before ubers I said I don't
really know, I'm kind of wingingit.
So they took me back to theirplace and, uh, we pulled out the
yellow pages, called around andfound a hotel.
It was 25 bucks a night so thisyellow pages, yeah, like
literally in the day it was like, like my kids aren't even gonna
(04:18):
know what a yellow page theydon't even.
There was a.
There was a wall phone with arotary on it.
Lunden Souza (04:23):
Right yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (04:25):
Yeah, so yeah, my kids are no one's going to
know.
They're like what?
There's a phone on the wall,you know.
But so we call around.
I got a hotel.
It was a day's end for 25 bucks.
So I'm like, all right, I got alittle bit of money, I got a
place to stay now and I hung outand then tried to figure out,
okay, what's next.
So my idea was I'm going tojust go get a job and I'm moving
(04:45):
to Florida, I'm just stayinghere.
So I go to a Publix.
It was a grocery store.
Lunden Souza (04:51):
And.
Bryan Driscoll (04:51):
I'm like, hey, I want to get a job and realized
it's really hard to get a job ifyou don't have an address and a
phone number.
So it's like you don't thinkabout it.
Especially people that arehomeless too.
Everyone's like why don't theygo get a job?
It's not that easy because,like, how do you even get the
application?
How do you fill out theapplication?
(05:14):
So I was there.
I'm like, okay, I'm going totalk myself into getting a job.
So I talked to the manager.
I'm like, hey, I'm a hardworker, here's what I can do.
And he's like, even if I could,you're not going to get paid
for like two, three weeks.
That's not how jobs work.
You work and you get paid inarrears.
So I'm like, okay, crap, I gota problem.
So I was starting to run out ofmoney and I found a place they
have these places in Florida.
It's called a job labor poolwhere you go and you just show
(05:36):
up and you work for the day.
So I went, signed up there.
It's like you make 25 bucks aday and you get paid at the end
of the day and you stand there,guys pull up and pick up trucks
and like, hey, we need laborers.
We'll take five guys.
So I'm doing that and I'm like,okay, I'm making money at least
(05:56):
to pay the hotel.
I got a job.
We are carrying scaffolding.
So the guy comes, picks us up,takes us.
It was super, super hot andwe're carrying scaffolding.
They were building like thisfake tree, like a big tree right
.
Looking back on it, I'm prettysure that was the animal kingdom
when they were building it.
Lunden Souza (06:08):
Oh, okay, in Orlando yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (06:10):
Yeah, which is cool.
But I'm just doing that andit's like blistering hot and I'm
getting paid, but the problemis I don't have any money for
food.
So I got to thinking I'm likeyou know what?
I was in a Greyhound station.
They're open 24 hours a day.
I'm going to go there and crashfor the night because I don't
have enough for the hotel and Ifigured that would buy me some
(06:30):
extra money.
So then tomorrow I could goback to the hotel and eat and
everything.
So I'm walking to the Greyhoundstation with my duffel bag and
everything and some lady pullsup beside me just out of the
blue.
She had an old you rememberwhat the geo trackers are Like
those old, real small black Jeeplooking things Okay, yes, yes,
yeah.
So she pulls up and she has heradult son in the car.
(06:51):
She looks over and she's likehey, it doesn't look like you
belong here.
Where are you going?
And I told her and I don'tremember really what we talked
about but she took me back toher house me back to her house
it was like an hour away fromOrlando gave me a place to stay,
put me up for a couple ofnights, fed me and then spotted
me some money and helped me geta job.
It spotted me some money for adifferent hotel, right.
(07:13):
So it's like that's kind ofwhere it triggered, and I'm
young at the time, I'm thinkingthere's no big deal.
I'm like, well, this is prettynice.
Some lady picked me up Me.
Lunden Souza (07:23):
Now, looking backwards, it's like people
don't do that, like it's not anormal thing and it's like Well,
yeah, and the safety ofinviting a stranger in your home
and the just like you said.
It was kind of like oh cool,nice lady.
Bryan Driscoll (07:37):
Looking back now you're probably like are you
still friends with this lady,like, is she in your life?
No see, that's the thing.
So what happened was I cameback to Pittsburgh, started
doing whatever like 18 to 21year olds do drinking, all that
kind of stuff and just got backto life.
She spotted me 300 bucks rightFor the hotel, which the deal
was I'm going to pay her back.
Time went on.
(07:57):
I don't have her contact infoand I owe her 300 bucks still,
that's.
And I saw the movie Pay itForward and that's kind of what
like kind of trickled.
It's like okay, I can't pay herback, I feel guilty about that,
but maybe I can start helpingother people with like kind of
make myself not feel as bad andlike pay it forward, you know.
So I still don't know who sheis.
I don't have any way to contacther.
(08:19):
Oh my gosh.
Lunden Souza (08:25):
I hope that she's listening.
If this woman is listening, orfind her, you know someone's
listening, who knows someone,who knows someone that knows
this story?
I would love for that to cometo fruition.
But that's so incredible and sothe movie Pay it Forward that
something just clicked inside ofyou.
That's like wait, if I can'tpay this person back, let me go
out and help others inspire.
What did you do?
What was your first?
Did you go and give somebodythe $300?
(08:46):
Did you just start being kinder, like where did you start when
that switch happened?
What did Bryan go and do?
Bryan Driscoll (08:55):
I just started keeping my eyes open, so it
wasn't anything intentional.
It's basically like keep youreyes open.
I didn't go looking for peoplethat needed help, but when
things came across, I said yes,so that's just kind of what I
did.
I'm like, keep your eyes open.
I didn't go looking for peoplethat needed help, Right, but
when things came across, I saidyes, so that's kind of just kind
of what I did.
I'm like you know what this isgoing to be my my thing now.
I can't pay her back.
Um, when things pop up, I'mgoing to help them out, you know
(09:16):
.
Lunden Souza (09:18):
Yeah, and I I was mentioning to you, um, before we
pressed record on this podcast,I did an episode a while back
on random acts of kindness and Ijust reached out to listeners
and people on Instagram and wasjust like, hey, if you have a
story where somebody just waskind to you for no reason or
(09:39):
whatever, tell me about it.
And yeah, it was the smallestthings, right, like one of them
was a girl who I think was atHome Depot and she was by
herself getting stuff and someguy came out and just helped her
carry everything and load itinto her car and get that all
(09:59):
taken care of and unload itwhere she was going.
Another one was a guy that hewas mowing his lawn on the mower
and a couple came up to him andjust stopped him and they're
like you take such good care ofyour lawn and we just see you
showing up and you look so goodon you.
Great, we just wanted to tellyou how awesome you are.
(10:22):
And then he even said he kindof looked away and then looked
back and like where did thesepeople go?
You know, it was like thatmoment and it was like the
littlest things of just likehelp and support and affirmation
and just being able to say, hey, you're doing a good job, like
you're enough, like what you'redoing now is great.
And I loved that episode and Iloved listening to all those
(10:45):
videos and recordings that theysent in, because it's a reminder
that we don't have to takehours out of our schedule to
volunteer not that you don'tneed to and you can, and you can
spend your whole weeks and allyour hours in service, whatever,
but it sometimes is just thosequick moments.
You know that we can just, likeyou said, keep our eyes open
(11:08):
and notice when someone needsmaybe the door opened for them
or they might be carryingsomething that you could support
with or a genuine compliment.
You know, I think and maybe youknow, you notice this too it's
like people are so tunnelvisioned into their own life and
their own to-dos and all thethings they need to get done,
and not to discount it, becausewe all have a lot going on, and
(11:30):
I know every one of ourlisteners has a lot going on,
but those opportunities to keepour eyes open are just so
important to being human, don'tyou think?
Bryan Driscoll (11:42):
I do and it's funny too, like you're saying
this small things, like, likethe guy cutting the grass, it's
like those people probablydidn't think they're helping him
out, but on that day peoplelike like if you get a
compliment on a day, that's likea crappy day Sometimes.
That's what makes a difference,and the people doing it don't
even realize they're just beingnice people and it's like really
the small things that can trulyhelp the trajectory of someone
(12:02):
else.
Lunden Souza (12:05):
And I know in your bio it talked about how you're
no stranger to getting knockeddown by life and picking
yourself back up when life doesits life thing which, yeah,
seems like you've experienced alot of how do you still come
back and then keep paying itforward and keep sharing your
(12:28):
kindness?
And what have been some ofthose moments where you've got
knocked down and got back up andthen still decided that
goodness was going to be yourgame?
Bryan Driscoll (12:38):
Yeah.
So yeah, I've had like, justlike everybody, I've had some
tough things happen and it'slike sometimes you just want to
quit.
You're like you know what thisjust freaking sucks.
It's like you keep doing thingsover and over and it's like you
just can't get ahead.
I came up with a phrase Ialways just tell myself just try
one more time.
Just like, okay, I don't haveto do a whole bunch of stuff.
All I got to do is get back up.
(13:03):
Once you actually down inFlorida too, with a, with a guy
who turned out to be like not anon-ethical and like ripping
people off, and I lost all mycash.
It's like, okay, that's onething.
It's like it stings.
Learn your lesson.
Like every time you fail, Ithink it's great.
I actually kind of I don't likefailing, but it's like a great
learning experience, as long asyou only do it once.
It's like you learn to do that.
(13:24):
Learn something from it.
Then you still get it.
But then I would just try tojust get back up.
I had problems before.
I got too excited about work.
I work a lot and didn't sleepand it kind of broke my brain.
It's like, okay, you have someissues there, but then you learn
it's like, okay, you've got toregulate your health, you got to
regulate your sleep, thingslike that.
And if you learn from it, dothe mistake once you're good and
(13:44):
then hopefully you don't makeit again.
Lunden Souza (13:55):
Yeah, yeah.
That doing all the things untilyou realize you're maxed out is
something I hear a lot from theclients that I work with.
It's like we have these big,ambitious goals and we want to
serve with excellence and welove to work and are
purpose-driven.
But then figuring out the gasand the brakes right we can't be
all gas all the time.
Sometimes we have to pump thebrakes there and I'll push back
(14:15):
a little bit kindly, becausesometimes it takes more times
than just once.
Sometimes you relearn the samelesson in a lot of different
forms and a lot of differentways until you finally surrender
to like, okay, wait, actually.
No.
My mentor often says if you gotan issue issue and you have to
point the finger back atyourself and like, okay, where
(14:38):
do I need to pivot or makeadjustments so that I don't find
myself getting knocked down bythe same thing over and over
again.
In your life experience, has itbeen where you just failed and
figured it out and then movedforward, or was there any
hiccups in that journey?
Bryan Driscoll (14:55):
No, there's always hiccups.
So me telling myself, just tryone more time.
It's kind of like tricking mybrain.
So say, for example, inbusiness I probably failed like
100 times.
I don't know.
I failed a lot of times and soevery time I failed it's like
okay, just try one more time.
So it's kind of like metricking, it's like I don't have
to.
Before I figured out how tosucceed in business.
It's not like I had to gofigure out how to do all this
(15:15):
stuff.
It's like, okay, it made iteasier for me to manage.
But like, let me just try onemore thing and see if I can get
back up, try it again once.
And then I get kicked back downagain.
But instead of me thinking, ohboy, I got to try 50 new things,
this is going to take me fiveyears, in my head I'm like, okay
, I just got to get back up andtry one more thing and it's just
a cycle.
So you're right, sometimes Iget punched like 100 times In
(15:39):
business.
It took me so long to figureout how to do that, like how to
be in business and like work formyself.
But then I figured it outeventually.
If you don't quit, you know.
So it's basically you just keeptrying until you figure it out.
Lunden Souza (15:50):
Yeah, you'll figure it out eventually if you
don't quit.
Bryan Driscoll (15:53):
Right.
Lunden Souza (15:54):
And I think that's what happens is a lot of people
give up too soon, or thoseblows and punches yeah, we're
not able to bounce back fromthem.
That's why I think community isso important Podcasts, just all
the things that could help ushave a little umph and drive to
(16:15):
like what happens if I get backup, what happens when I don't
stay down, what happens when Ichoose a little bit more of that
victor over the victim and justpush a little bit further.
I always am inspired Well, yeah, I'm definitely inspired by the
history of myself, of themoments I've pushed through, and
I think there's nothing morepowerful than like I've done
(16:36):
that before so I can do it again.
But I also love hearing otherpeople's stories of just like
that hard moment and I still didit anyway and I think if that
can move the needle just alittle bit or turn the knob
towards trying one more time,that could be the time that
could be that game changermoment.
(16:58):
Yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (17:01):
Yeah, if you keep trying, you're going to
figure it out eventually.
Or you're going to die Likeyou'll figure it out, or you're
going to get too old.
But if you keep trying for likelife, you're going to figure
out what you're trying to do.
Lunden Souza (17:11):
Yes, um, I know that you're a father and a
husband and, um, especially whenI'm thinking about how are your
, are your sons, teenagers?
Bryan Driscoll (17:22):
Yeah, so I have a 13 year old-old, 10-year-old
and a 9-year-old?
Okay, yeah.
Lunden Souza (17:27):
And, yeah, I mean Times are always changing but,
like you said, back in the dayyou were no phone or you had to
do the dial, the circular phoneor the ones where you dial the
numbers or whatever call,collect all the things.
Now it's so different for kidswhere you have so many ways to
(17:48):
be so connected to our own worldand our friends and our things
and whatever.
So how do you parent and foster, let's say, that culture within
your family of giving back andI know we have a lot of parents
listening and sometimes kidsjust want to be on their video
games or be with their friendsor not open up their eyes to the
(18:11):
possibility of that.
How do you parent kids thatwant to pursue kindness and
goodness and give back?
Is that something that you yeah, what's that like in your
family?
How do we support thisgeneration to like get off their
iPhone and get into, like, thehuman world of engaging with
(18:32):
people?
Bryan Driscoll (18:33):
Yeah, that's a good question.
So you're right, because evenmy kids, they always want to be
on tech, even like adults.
Everyone's on their phone thesedays.
So I do a couple of differentthings.
We have them do chores everyweek, right, and they get an
allowance.
And I got them a bank.
It's actually one of the DaveRamsey banks that has three
different we love Dave Ramsey,cool yeah.
I like his stuff, so he has thespend.
(18:54):
It's kind of like the adultversion that he has also.
But in the bank the trianglehas three sections One spend,
one give and one save.
So it's like, okay, say you getfive bucks, or say 10 bucks for
an even number, say they get$10 for something, $8 goes in
your spend, $1 goes in your give, $1 goes in your save.
So they see that and it's notthat much money going in every
(19:16):
time.
But eventually I remember, likemy sons, they had like 10 bucks
in the give and what I did wasthere's a place down the street
from me.
It's called Shim and they dealwith it.
It's like a food pantry.
So instead of just donating themoney, I took them in to
physically hand the people themoney.
And then they got to see what'shappening and the people in the
place too explained to them.
(19:36):
They're like which I didn't evenknow.
They said it's nice when peopledonate money for us versus
things, because they say we canbuy five things of peanut butter
for the same price you can getat one at the store, because
they buy from the food bank andstuff.
So.
But the kids got to see thatSame thing, like they just got
to see that same thing, likethey just and I think it's
important just how you live,because your kids you're not
even teaching them really,they're just seeing what you do.
(19:58):
So it's like if you're going toa football game and there's a
homeless person, they see yougive money to that person or
they see you being kind topeople.
They just learn because they'remimicking what you do.
So some's intentional, some'snot intentional, just byproduct.
Lunden Souza (20:16):
Yeah, and at the same time they're learning
valuable financial skills thatwill carry them into the rest of
their life.
And yeah, you're right, I um,you do.
Just see what your parents do.
And we can't just tell I'm nota parent, but I'm an, I'm an
aunt and I work with a lot ofkids.
It's like you can't just tellI'm not a parent, but I'm an
(20:36):
aunt and I work with a lot ofkids.
It's like you can't just tellthem what to do.
You have to be that anddemonstrate that and show that.
And yeah, it just made me thinkof my own parents.
My mom's a hairstylist and shewould go and donate her time to
cut hair at the homeless shelter.
Or, like my dad oh my gosh,probably more times than I can
(20:57):
count on both hands He'll spotsomeone like a homeless guy
outside of a restaurant and goin and he'll always say like I'm
not going to give you money,but I'm going to buy you a meal,
and he'll go and get themwhatever they wanted, but not
for any recognition or reward,just because that's the heart of
who they are.
And I think, yeah, it's thoselittle moments, those little
(21:17):
things that then kids and theyounger generation start to see,
and I also love that you guyswent to the place and gave them
the money right, because a lotof people have a lot of money
right and it's easy just towrite checks and give and not to
discount.
That I know it's reallyimportant, but don't you think
there's something about gettingyour hands dirty a little bit
(21:39):
outside of just sending themoney a bit?
Bryan Driscoll (21:42):
Yeah, I do, especially with the kids too,
because kids at least my kidsare so used to being instant
gratification in front ofcomputers, things like that.
It's like they can hear thatthere's people out there in the
world that have problems.
But when you go and you see aplace that looks like a grocery
store that people go to causethey can't afford food, they see
that and it's different.
(22:03):
It's real, you know, versusjust hearing about it.
You can tell kids stuff youdon't know what's in their head,
what they're imagining whenyou're saying it, but when you
take them somewhere, they canactually see it and I think that
kind of connects more.
Lunden Souza (22:22):
Yeah, yeah, because you're like you said,
you're on screens or you seethis world or you get to be kind
of wherever you want in yourzone.
But there's a lot going on inthe world that unless we go out
and see it and witness it, it'seasy just to kind of dismiss or
just kind of get back to yourown bubble.
And I know that you've, yeah,the goodness game and you're a
(22:44):
first time author and all thethings.
Tell us about your mission andjourney.
Now.
I know you want to bringgoodness and kindness to the
world.
What's your big, audacious goalwhen it comes to this?
What mark do you want to leavein the world?
In the same way that that womandid that day.
(23:07):
I just think that's so wild.
Just pulling over, come on, getin.
It's like that is, like yousaid, an angel moment.
I just think that is so that.
But what's your?
I don't know how old you arenow you don't have to say that,
but you did mention death andI'm super motivated by death.
I have a sign on my fridge thatsays you're going to die.
No one cares.
It's time, let's go.
(23:27):
So I feel very motivated by thefact that this life is
temporary and I don't want toplay small and I don't want to
have a list of.
I wish I would have you know atthe end of my life Um, so what?
What's your goal and mission?
Um, now and moving forward.
Bryan Driscoll (23:47):
Yeah, sure.
So I'm 44,.
I'm turning 45 in like twoweeks from now, so happy
birthday, yeah.
So I would like my goal.
So that lady helped me at firstI saw, okay, something she did
made an impact in my life.
So I got to thinking.
I'm like I wonder if, becauseeverybody says small acts make a
big difference, right, but it'slike and I'm skeptical a lot
(24:07):
too Like, with all the media andstuff, I'm like I don't know
what.
I believe you got to prove itright.
So it Right.
So, to answer your question, mygoal is to prove to people that
you can do small, excuse me,you can do small things and they
do make a big difference in theworld.
Right, you don't have to dolike big, grandiose things.
I think it's really smallthings in the world that make a
difference, and that's why I putthe goodness game together.
(24:28):
I'm like how do you promotekindness?
Because, like your dad and youwere saying too, they just do it
to be kind.
Like it's not, it's kind ofcringy to go out and talk about
being nice If you're talkingabout yourself, right, it's like
you don't go make social mediaposts saying, hey, look at me,
look at the good stuff I do,maybe you can do it.
So I was thinking for like 10years probably, like how do I do
(24:52):
this and make it sociallyacceptable?
Well, games are acceptable, youknow.
So it's like, okay, we can dothe guidelines here.
It's not about hey, look atwhat each person does.
It's it's kind of like aframework, kind of like um, what
was that?
There was a game that peoplehad a 75 hard for lifting and
like working out.
Lunden Souza (25:11):
Oh, and they had to work out twice a day and he
drank a gallon of water and do amillion burpees.
Bryan Driscoll (25:15):
Right.
Lunden Souza (25:16):
Yeah.
Bryan Driscoll (25:17):
So that's kind of what I was thinking.
I'm like you know what?
So they made that into a gameand people can get behind it,
because it's like.
It's like a game of life.
It's not like a game you win orlose, you just get to win
because you're doing good things, you know.
So that's kind of what I wasthinking on this side of the
goodness game.
I'm like if we can putsomething together there that
inspires people to open up theireyes, be kind to people and
(25:39):
also show you don't have to gostart a nonprofit, you don't
have to go and donate millionsof dollars.
Lunden Souza (25:48):
That's where the goodness game came from.
That's what it's about, yeah,yeah.
So can you explain a little bitabout the game and like what,
what it entails?
I mean, I want everyone to doit, I'm going to get mine too.
So can you explain a little bitabout the game and like what,
what it entails?
I mean I want everyone to do it, I'm going to get mine too.
So I want to know, kind of what, what is it about?
How many people do you need?
Like, are you going out anddoing things, or are you just
talking about them, or what'sthe?
What's the gist?
Bryan Driscoll (26:08):
Yeah, sure.
So here's the framework.
I break it into five roles,right?
So have you ever seen fightclub?
Lunden Souza (26:13):
Yes.
Bryan Driscoll (26:14):
Okay, so I was thinking fight club.
The role of fight club is youdon't talk about fight club.
Yeah, I was thinking in thisgame it's like the first rule is
give without remembering.
So rule number one is we're notbragging other people, we're
doing things.
There's a couple of differentways to do it Like.
Number one is you can dosomething and help somebody else
and nobody even knows, not eventhe person that got helped.
It's like totally pure kindness.
(26:35):
The second way is you'rehelping someone and the
recipient knows.
The third way is you know andother people know the only way
you can do.
The third way is if you'reinspiring them to play the game.
So, for example, your neighborwas in a car accident or
something and you want to rallythe neighborhood to make dinner
(26:56):
and for them like split it up,like that's the way you can
involve other people byinspiring them, and like trying
to involve them in the game.
We don't do anything likeposting on social media and
stuff like hey, look at what Idid, stuff like that.
It's like that's the first ruleis you just do it to be kind.
We're not bragging.
Right, I'm a helper by nature.
(27:21):
I'm just like.
It's just like I'm.
I'm built for it.
I feel bad and I like try tohelp people and I found
sometimes I'd get intosituations that I'd actually be
putting myself in a worsesituation, like, say, back in
the day, um, I'd I'd getinvolved with like, say, I don't
know cutting grass or somethingLike.
I found that there's likedifferent ways that you can help
people.
You can help people by sweat,like doing things.
(27:43):
You help people.
You can help people by sweat,like doing things.
You can help people financiallyand you can help people like be
an empathy, like being therefor them.
And I started to look, I'm likesome of these things that I do,
I'm like freaking, drained atthe end of the day, but then
there's other things I do thatI'm pumped, like I could just do
it forever.
So and I started thinking aboutthat and I think everybody's
built for something and I'm notbuilt for what you're built for.
(28:05):
Everyone just likes doingdifferent things, like some
people like cleaning the house Ihate cleaning the house, you
know, and so and so I startedthinking it's like okay, how do
we explain to people?
How do you find out what yourstyle is?
So in business, I do somethingthat's called an energy audit,
where you take a piece of paper,draw a line down the center and
on one side of the paper yousay what gives you energy.
(28:27):
One side, what takes yourenergy away?
And you write down everythingyou do for a week and at the end
of the week the stuff thattakes your energy away is stuff
you should delegate, like inbusiness, right?
So I thought about that on.
I got that from a book calledBuy Back your Time by Dan
Martell.
I got that from a book calledBuy Back your Time by Dan
Martell.
But I started thinking aboutthat.
I'm like, okay, that works inbusiness.
How about in your life?
(28:47):
You're not really delegating it.
But if we're thinking abouthelping people, why don't we
class different things intodifferent columns too and see
okay, what do I really, whatgives me energy also that I can
do a lot of, and what drains myenergy?
(29:08):
So I can intentionally thinkwhen something pops up, you know
what that's going to take a lotof energy for me and I can make
a decision.
It's like you know what I cando it and I'm worth it, and I'm
aware it might burn me out, or Iknow that, hey, you know what I
can't do, that long term.
I can't commit to it.
And you got to set yourboundaries.
Make sense, yeah.
Lunden Souza (29:20):
Yeah, totally.
It reminds me of a quote that Iheard from well, she said it
one time Chalene Johnson, who Ilove.
She's just someone I follow onInstagram, but she said just
because I know how to do it or Ican doesn't mean that I have to
, and especially with yeah, whenyou want to give and you want
to serve.
It also makes me think of toochronic givers, right, of people
(29:41):
who just give, give, give, give, give and have no energy left
in their tank.
And it's not coming from aplace of like the goodness game
route let's say it like that orthat mission.
It's coming from like justtrying to do all the things for
other people, right, and so Ithink kind of of both, of like
that delegation and not needingto give.
(30:03):
Yeah, giving is great, but whenyou give all of yourself and
there's nothing left for thepeople that you love or, like
you said, your energy is drainedbecause of it.
Maybe shift.
It's kind of like the lovelanguages.
It's like what's your givelanguage and what's going to
help you.
I always feel like giving, youshould be also receiving, right.
If you're giving too much andyou're not receiving, you're
(30:25):
going to feel maxed out and so,like you said, figuring out ways
that you feel charged up fromgiving, because we're all
different in this world, sosomebody else is going to feel
charged up from giving in theway that you feel drained when
you give.
So you don't have to do all ofit, right, but I know noticing
when it's when it's too muchright and it's giving too much
of yourself.
Bryan Driscoll (30:44):
Yeah, and you know what, it's funny too.
So what I did was on the on thegiving.
It's funny.
You said that your mom went andcuts hair for the homeless.
Because what I did?
I put a quiz together.
I'm like, okay, how can peoplefind out what their helping
style is?
So I put a quiz together.
I have friends that go downtownevery Sunday and they round up
people and they feed like 150homeless every week all the time
and I thought about theirorganization.
(31:05):
I'm like, okay, what are allthe things that go into what
they need to do?
Like they have to round peopleup, they have to buy food, they
have to do this.
So I came up with like 20different things.
One of them is going down andcutting hair, like one of the
helping styles that you canselect on the quiz.
But you take the quiz and ittells you, okay, you might be a
financial helper or anempathetic helper or a sweat
(31:26):
helper, and you can kind of see,okay, and most people are more
than one.
But you can kind of see, okay,you select from what this
organization does the thingsthat you would be drawn to and
the things you wouldn't be drawnto, and then it kind of gives
you a little indication on whatyou'd want to do, along with the
energy audit, you know.
Lunden Souza (31:43):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Some good takeaways for thoselistening to do that energy
audit.
I've done it before.
It's so helpful within yourwhole life, within your business
, within your relationships,like it's so great to have, it's
a great conversation startertoo with yourself and with
others of oh, that gives youenergy, oh, that really takes my
energy, or vice versa.
(32:04):
And then identifying and we'llput a link to that quiz or all
the things so that our listenerscan participate just to figure
out what is my giving style orwhat do you call it, my giving
language, or what is it Helpingstyle, my helping style?
Yeah, and I can think of too,right, when you said some of
(32:25):
those options, I'm like, okay, Idefinitely like I'm a doer,
right, but I can't do that allthe time.
I also love the empathetic,energetic space of being able to
help.
That's the coaching that I do,but there's also a capacity to
that too, right, I can only holdspace for a certain amount of
(32:46):
time, or I only have a certaincapacity for that.
That maybe has nothing to dowith time and it's so I find
myself, yeah, knowing when I cangive and help, you know, and be
that doer, but just enough.
And then knowing when I canhold that space and kind of
dancing between those helpingstyles.
(33:08):
So I'm excited to learn moreabout that.
Because I love technology, Ilove podcasts I obviously have
one.
I love social media.
It's where I grew my.
I mean, I've been on socialmedia since I was 17 and just
have been going and growing andall of that.
But I tell people this toosometimes I'm like, yeah, I like
(33:30):
to go places in person becauseI like to see legs, because I'm
on Zoom and I'm on Riverside andyou see torsos all day, and I'm
like, yeah, I want to see yourlegs in real life.
And just like, because we'rehuman and we need that
connection and we need to, yeah,remind ourselves of that soul
connection and those angelmoments right, where we could be
that in someone else's life orthey're that in our life.
(33:51):
And I just, yeah, for thoselistening, it's just, we got to
get out of the screens and offof you know the yeah, the media
and tap into, like, real life,like we're here, we're alive
right now and we have a lot ofstuff going on in our lives and
we pass by people on the streetright, like I mean, I could pass
(34:12):
by you and I'm not, you know,thinking oh man, this guy at you
know 18, had nothing and was on.
You know you just pass bypeople and we're always my
friend said this, my friend Kara, she's like.
You know it's wild becausewe're walking around and we're
all the main characters of ourown lives and we need to
remember that everyone else hastheir.
(34:32):
They're the main character oftheir life too.
But if we get too stuck in justour role, our life I'm the main
character we miss out on somuch that is good about being
alive, which is connecting withothers.
Bryan Driscoll (34:49):
That's a really good point too, because you
figure like you're walking downthe road and you say, say, you
see someone panhandling.
They're the main character oftheir life.
A lot of people just look andignore and stuff.
It's like that's a person who'sdealing with stuff.
Like in their life and in theirhead they got real struggles.
You know, like everyone hasthat, and not necessarily that's
an extreme too.
Everyone in the world's got,everyone in the world's battling
something almost all the time.
It's big for them, you know bigfor each other is different for
(35:17):
everybody.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, so,yeah, okay.
So we got the helping style,though, and then some of the
helping style.
It could be like you got afinancial helper, empathetic
helper, sweat helper, it's likea, like a collaborator you could
be.
You could just be the guy.
It's like, hey, I got a guy,you're the, just a connector.
You know what I mean?
Um, and then so rule numberthree we'll jump to that.
Not everybody's your assignment, so it's like you figured out
(35:38):
what's your style.
Yeah, it connects, right, right.
Lunden Souza (35:43):
I resonate, I'm snapping, that's me clapping.
Bryan Driscoll (35:48):
Yeah.
So I've learned sometimes youcan't help people or sometimes
you're not the person, they'renot your assignment to help.
So, for example, we'll saysomebody comes to me, maybe you
have a drug problem or something.
I'm not the person to help youbecause I'm not.
I'm not capable.
I can actually do more harm.
My job is to connect you withsomebody.
That is or am I enabling?
(36:09):
Like it's like you just have tobe able to tell is this in your
helping style?
Can you actually help out?
Is it not burning you out?
And then be okay, intentionally.
It's like you know what.
I'm not the person who'sassigned to you're not my
assignment.
You know what I mean.
It's like you have to be ableto differentiate because, like
you were saying before, if yougo into helping spree, you get
(36:29):
involved in some things youshouldn't be involved with.
You have to know and likebalance your life.
Lunden Souza (36:35):
Not everybody is my assignment For sure not
Impossible, but some I mean Ihear that and I know someone
listening hears that too andit's like you said, maybe you're
the connector, so it's like youcan have someone come in and
you can't.
Not everyone's your assignment,but maybe you know someone or a
(36:56):
podcast episode to listen to ora book to read or just any like
nugget.
That can, um, put them in adifferent direction.
Yeah, not everyone's myassignment.
I can think of moments in mylife where I definitely thought
everyone was my assignment andtry to do all the things,
especially when I was in thefitness world.
(37:17):
I just wanted to help everyoneget in.
It's like you can't and noteverybody's ready for that and
not ready for the help and thesupport sometimes too, and I
love that.
So those are the four.
Can you say the four rulesagain, or the?
yeah, remembering give withoutremembering find your helping
style find your helping style.
Bryan Driscoll (37:36):
Not everybody's your assignment.
You're right what you just saidthere too, um, people, some
people aren't ready for help.
You have to know that, likethey want help and you can see
that they need help and you'retrying to help them, and
sometimes you try to help peoplefor your own, like cause.
You can see it, it's like dude,I can really help you.
All you need to do is X, butthey're not ready and you have
(37:57):
to be able to take that stepback and say, okay, it's not my
time right now.
You know.
Lunden Souza (38:03):
So huge, yeah, so good.
I'm really excited to to get myhands on that game and to share
that with with people in mylife.
It's, um, yeah, I'm excited toknow you and excited to know
about this.
This is really, really cool.
Bryan Driscoll (38:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , it's fun.
So then, okay, so we'll get theroll number.
So we have roll number four iscreate your good notes budget,
and roll number fives keep score.
So then okay, so we'll get torule number four.
So we have rule number four iscreate your goodness budget, and
rule number five is keep score.
So in rule number four, you gotto create a budget.
If you're going to help peopleand not burn out because you can
, it's a there's somethingcalled like a kindness burnout,
like helping burnout.
You know what I mean.
Like you burn out because youtry to help people too much.
(38:40):
So if you have a helping style,that's a financial helping
style where's the money comingfrom?
Or if you're paying with sweat,like your energy, where's the
energy coming from?
Or where's the time coming from?
So what we're looking at is ifyou're going to help financially
, like I'm a financial helper, Ihave a couple of helping styles
.
That's one of them.
Every time I get paid, I pull acertain percentage of my money
(39:03):
and I put it into a separatebank account.
I just call it like the giveaccount, so that now that money
is sitting there, when somethingpops up, I don't have to think
about if I can afford it.
If the money's there, that'swhat it's for, I just don't even
think about it.
So it's like you pre-budgetahead of time.
I used to get involvedfinancially and try to help
people out, especially before Ihad any money, and I'd help them
(39:24):
out and then comes the end ofthe month, I can't make my bills
.
I'm like I just gave away mymoney because I felt bad.
So you want to be realintentional and budget your
money right.
Same with your time.
It's like okay, if you're goingto spend time and energy,
where's it coming from?
Are you pulling 30 minutes a dayfrom Netflix?
Are you blocking off an hour onSaturday to do Meals on Wheels?
It's like you need to thinkahead of time.
(39:45):
Where is it coming from,especially when you get involved
with organizations.
It's like if I'm giving you anhour on Saturdays, organizations
are always hurting forvolunteers, so you have to know
ahead of time.
These are my boundaries.
This is where I can help andknow how to say you know what?
I only got this hour and a halfor hour, whatever I budgeted,
and say no and keep in your lanetoo, so that you can balance
(40:07):
your life, because otherwise,like you're saying you're
volunteering for 40 hours, burnthe candle at both ends and
you're like you can't help otherpeople if you're not healthy
and have a balance.
Lunden Souza (40:18):
Yes.
You have to charge yourself up,insert all the quotes, can't
pour from an empty cup, but it'slike we say that we know that
and then a lot of people stilldo that.
So I love that.
You, yeah, and especially thefinancial part.
Right, we want to give, but wehave to make sure that we're
taking care of ourselves firstand our needs are met and our
(40:40):
safety and security.
Or else, like you said, whereis that coming from?
And I love the idea of having agive account.
I'm going to do that.
I think I have the accountalready, but I'm going to call
it the give account and startmoving money there in that way.
That's really powerful.
And then, when there's thatopportunity to give, you check
the account and you decide, okay, can I budget?
You know, is there enough moneyin this account to give in this
(41:02):
way?
And can I use this for multiplegives or one big give?
I think that's yeah.
There's a book that I love and aman, an author, that I love and
know, ken Honda.
He has wrote a book calledHappy Money.
I adore him, he's so great.
But he talks about having happymoney, of just that money that
you can give.
(41:22):
Right, it's not happy money ifyou're giving and you don't have
nothing left to pay your billsand all the things.
So that made me think of thatas just like that happy money,
the give account that's justsmiling and ready to be a
blessing in someone else's life.
Bryan Driscoll (41:38):
Yeah, and it's so cool too, because if you have
the money sitting there,there's no emotion or there's no
thought in it or anything.
It's not like oh you know what,I don't know if I can afford it
.
And then you got to think it'slike if it's over there, there's
no thought.
It's like as long as you thinkthat that is a worthy cause,
that you want to help with themoney's there.
Lunden Souza (41:55):
So good, so good.
But, yeah, any closing thoughtsfrom your side.
Bryan, I'm excited for thesefive points that you brought up
in our discussion today and I'llput all the links for this game
and your work in thedescription.
But, yeah, let our listenersknow how they can further
connect with you or be a part ofyour mission and movement in
(42:18):
this world.
Bryan Driscoll (42:19):
Yeah, sure.
So if you want to check out andtake the helper's test or do
the energy audit, you can checkout the website.
It's goodnessgamecom.
I actually I put the book on.
You can get the book on Amazon.
If you can't afford the book, Iput it on the website for free.
You can just download the PDFright on the website.
And the cool thing is too, whatI've realized is like you go
help on people, you actually getthe benefit.
(42:40):
Like it's like a byproduct isyou get to feel good, you know.
So it's like I would say,number one, go out and do
something small for somebody.
And then, number two, thinkabout the things like you were
saying before.
Who did something in your lifethat made a big difference in
your life?
That was a small thing to them?
Maybe let them know too.
Sometimes people don't evenknow they made a big difference.
(43:01):
Like hit them up and be likehey, you know what.
You did this for me way back inthe day.
It made a big difference in mylife.
You probably don't even knowthat.
I just wanted to let you know,you know.
Lunden Souza (43:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's the assignment for today.
For sure, Go out and send thatmessage to the person that
supported you and just saythanks.
That moment that seemed smallbut just impacted your life in a
really powerful way.
I don't really usually givehomework or assignments on
episodes, but I just feel like,for those listening, that's your
(43:33):
call to action is just take outthat phone, turn off the social
media or don't go there, go onto or unless you want to send
that person a DM, but like stopscrolling and send that message
of gratitude for someone thatsupported you.
And I'll put all those linksthat you mentioned, Bryan, in
the description for you guys sothat you can take those quizzes.
You can grab the book on Amazonor the free version that Bryan
(43:57):
is so graciously given on hiswebsite.
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for inspiring metoday.
I feel, yeah, a little bitcharged in a new way, Um, and I
yeah so glad to have you today,Bryan.
Bryan Driscoll (44:10):
Hey, well, thanks for having me, I
appreciate it.
Lunden Souza (44:12):
No problem and see you guys at the next episode.
Bye, thank you so much forlistening to this episode of
Self Love and Sweat, the podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode orwere inspired by it or something
resonated with you, do me afavor and share this episode
(44:35):
with a friend, someone that youthink might enjoy this episode
as well.
That's the ultimate complimentand the best way to make this
podcast ripple out into theworld of others, and also you
can leave us a review up to fivestars wherever you're listening
to the podcast.
Thank you so much for listeningand we'll see you at the next
(44:57):
episode.
I appreciate you.
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