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April 17, 2024 76 mins

Meg and Jacob are excited to be parents!

In this episode,  Meg and Jacob share their experiences and anticipations about the dynamics of their relationship, especially with the impending arrival of their first child. They delve deeply into discussions about intimacy, responsibility, and the transformative journey from partners to parents.

They also answered questions around their conception journey like:

  • Did Meg experience any pregnancy symptoms?  
  • How does Meg navigate through the changes in identity from maiden to mother?
  • How do you think having a baby will impact your intimacy?
  • What are the top parent qualities they see in each other?

They also riff off on:

  • Jacob and Meg shared their emotional challenges over the past few months, including grief, disconnection, and Meg's pregnancy.
  • Meg discussed her preparation for pregnancy, including gut and thyroid work, to ensure her body was ready for conception.
  • Meg and Jacob are opting for a 'wild' pregnancy and medically unassisted home birth, with a doula present but no medical professionals involved.
  • Meg feels fiercely certain in her choices for her pregnancy and wants to experience birth and motherhood without medicalization.
  • Both Jacob and Meg expressed excitement for the initiation of birth and their journey into parenthood together.
  • Jacob looks forward to being present, patient, and helping their future children understand and explore life.

...and many, many more.

If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!


⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:  

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU


Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 



Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When you've got someone who isyou're literally right or die,
like when someone commits to youon that level. It's not about
like the relationship alwaysbeing happy go lucky. Like, it's
not about the fact that like,oh, something's there's conflict
here. Let's get it over and donewith. So we can have that deep
connection and go back to beingin bliss. It's like, this is a

(00:21):
season of Jacob going through afucking dark night of the soul.
Yeah. And I'm going to hold thetorch. And I'm going to trust
that this is going to take aslong as it takes, and I'm going
to honor him with the truth ofmy heart, as I see fit, and I
have to trust me, like this isthe part with faith and trust of

(00:41):
self is essential. Because ifyou try to use a book or a
formula, or an algorithm orprocess to get to where you need
to, you'll you'll never breakthrough. You will never break
new ground and create anotherlayer of connection in your
relationship. Yo, yo, yo loversWelcome. Welcome. Welcome to

(01:04):
sex, love and everything inbetween where the O'Neill's
you're here with Meg and Jacob.
Andthis is the place we have really
uncensored conversations aboutsex, intimacy and relationships.
We're super excited. You'rehere. Enjoy this episode.

(01:24):
Hey, lovers.
Hey, lover. Hi. I missed this.
Youhave missed this in like a month
since withpodcasts podcast it it
has been Yeah, well and truly amonth. It's been a wild month,
too. It has been a wild month.
It's been one of those months.
It's been a challenging month ofdeep transition and deep emotion

(01:49):
holding on for dear life andgrit. My favorite word to
describe seasons like that islike Grady. Yeah. You know, when
you're experiencing things thatyou wouldn't necessarily choose
thingsout? Sailing? Let's Yeah, it's
gritty. What's been happeningfor you my love to tell everyone
your deepest, darkest secret.

(02:09):
Last month.
This is going to be pregnancyq&a. Or any night.
Guess who's pregnant?
I'm having a baby one of us.
We are not pregnant.
When people say we're pregnant.
I have gone to say it a fewtimes. Yeah.
And it's a lie. Because you arepregnant. It's

(02:30):
a strange thing to want to likeI want to. I want to feel
together. And this is a cocreation. So it can feel like
when I want to say like werehaving a baby if I were
pregnant. Anyway, I'm pregnant.
Jacob and I are having a baby.
Yes. So we're going to answeryour questions. But yeah, let's

(02:50):
give a little more calf on lastmonth.
So deepest, darkest secrets.
I feel like for me, you've beenreally fucking in it the last
probably six weeks. Yes. Andwhat was most challenging for me
was meeting you in that. Andyes, showing up for you in that.

(03:13):
And I feel like I did a prettyepic job of it. That that was
just moments of Yeah, can I canI can I go into detail but I
asked you to speak. When whenyour chat like and you had some,
you know, hectic things go on inyour life. And one of the things

(03:39):
that can sometimes happen foryou is you you tap out a little
or you become a bit emotionallyunavailable. And that that bit,
I had a lot the love in thatperiod of time, which was
completely understandable. Andthis was my practice during that
time is that I'm so fed by ourrelationship and I'm so fed by
you, and what you bring and giveto me and how emotionally

(04:02):
available you are. And so it wasreally challenging to not have
that but to also be walking theline of I'm gonna hold space for
whatever is a live view rightnow. I'm not going to pressure
you to be something for me. Andthat was also really
challenging. Yeah, and then wehad to have some fierce chats at

(04:23):
the coming out until the backend of that season.
And what was the essence of of alittle that I wasn't really what
it was I not that I was like I'mI'm fully owning everything but
also what do you feel like whatdo I What did I forgotten? That
you deserve to be happy? Yeah.
And then I can have fun. Youhave fun? I was taking off a bit

(04:45):
too seriously.
So seriously, and again, somesome challenging things that are
reason that hadhad warranted a seriousness.
Yeah, approach to life ofcourse. Definitely.
And yeah, we experienced deathand Like all the all of these
different things, and also inhaving been pregnant was, I

(05:05):
don't think it was till we cameout of that season of challenge
that you probably realized, oh,fuck, I think there was part of
me that has almost like feelsthis. I don't know if you'd call
it pressure, but almost thislike, maybe it is the texture of
seriousness because oh my gosh,I'm going to be father and I've
got to provide and like,yeah, I didn't feel like there
was any space for fun because Ineeded to step into a level of

(05:27):
responsibility, yes. And thennot having the time and space to
really be with that cultivatingthat responsibility, because so
many things happened. In thespace of six weeks, there's been
so many things happen that havebeen Yes, indeed. I would argue
this probably been one of themost challenging periods of my
life.

(05:49):
Yeah. And I would say one of themost challenging periods of our
relationshipdefinitely, yeah. And like,
yeah, when, when I becomeemotionally unavailable, there
is a clear disconnection betweenour hearts. Yeah, and that Fox
up our sex life massively,oh, my gosh, our sex life is
like non existent, non existentfor a little
while, you were really worriedabout you, I,

(06:10):
I take that. So personally, andI. And this is also like, I and
I feel like a lot of womenresonate with me when I say
this, when, as a deeply feeling,woman, sometimes when you're
feeling something, there is afeeling of like, I am never not
going to feel this, like this isgoing to be my experience

(06:31):
forever. Even though you know,as women, we trust the cycles.
And we've you know, we werealized that life is cyclical
that can be like this essence ofthis is my reality forever now,
or this is the feeling I'm goingto feel forever. And I was I was
really moving through a lotwithin myself around like,
around our sex life and aroundour intimacy. Because at first

(06:51):
when I got I didn't have a realstrong libido, when, when I was
in the early stages ofpregnancy, I had probably a
month where I wasn't feelingthat great. And, you know, I
didn't feel I didn't feelsexually alive or erotic. And
then on the back of that youwere going through challenges
and we weren't quite we weren'tquite disconnected. And so yeah,

(07:11):
my internal experience was, oh,my gosh, we again, now we're
bringing a child into the world.
Are we ever gonna have sex?
Is this it? Is this gonna be theday we never having sex ever
again for the rest of our lives?
I think your grasp of things is,is yes, you're a deeply, deeply
feeling one but you also likehonor,

(07:35):
no, not deeply feeling and justdramatic?
Both? What I, I definitely wantto tell you that you're wrong in
those modes be like, can youjust like chill the fuck out?
Can you not like make this a bigdeal? Can we just like, get
through this next little bit?
Yeah. And that's my like, justgrind. nose to the grindstone.
Let's just make it through andcome up for air when we're when

(07:58):
we've got some space. And that'swhat I feel is like you're even
though it does feel overlydramatic to me who's completely
emotionally closed off in themoment, it's, Oh, you're here to
remind me that this, if we don'taddress this, if we don't
actually like, become aware ofthis, then we're going to just
continue down this path. Yes.

(08:20):
And I speak to so many men inyou know, I just want to like
slip a little nugget of gold inhere for anyone listening is
that is one of the greatestgifts that you will receive from
the feminine from your woman,whether that's from your own
feminine energy, whether that'sfrom the water, the mother
nature, from anything is thatthis gift of like, this is

(08:43):
what's here now. And if you havesomeone in your life that brings
that you get to learn how tohonor that and integrate that
because like I've said to somany men, if you don't address
what's going on, I suppose to alot of money, like oh, what
just, you know, I'll get throughthe next 10 years. And then once
we've done we've, you know,we've sacrificed everything, and

(09:03):
we'll have gotten to that point,then I can actually do the
things I want. And I say, okay,cool. But what if for the next
10 years, you tell yourself, I'mnot allowed to have what I want.
Until then, then you spent 10years everyday telling yourself,
I've just got to do this, thenI'll be happy, I've just got to
do this, then I can addresswhat's really going on. I've

(09:23):
just got to do this, then I canbe with my emotions. In the, you
know, when the 10 years is up,you've created an identity
around I just have to suffer.
And I never actually get to feelor approach or be with what
actually is here right now.
Yeah. And I have the blessing ofa woman, a wife, a lover, a

(09:45):
mother to be that place besideme every night that does not
allow me to go a day withoutthat awareness.
I just have and this is asomething I have, you know,
activated within me and this isSomething I teach other women
is, I cannot push things underthe rug anymore. I cannot ignore
the truth of the moment. Andthat, oh, you're gonna say, What

(10:11):
do women what do women callthemselves when they don't bring
that in? What's like for me? Oryour what do you? What do you
mean? Like if a woman feels thatlike that is too dramatic, or
that is something that theycan't bring to their
relationship? What's the from?
What's the like the beliefthat they're going to be too
much? Yeah,that's the That's exactly it.
And that's the pace. And thething

(10:31):
for me, I know that part of meis in service to our
relationship. Yes. So I don'tfind it a selfish quality, you
might say. And externally, itmight look selfish when I want
to have a conversation at 10pmat night, or like, when you're
going through and, you know, Iwant to also, you know, bring

(10:51):
some nuance in here, like, youwere really going through it and
I was giving you space, and Iwas allowing you to be in it.
But there did come a time wherethis was like, Okay, this needs
to be a conversation and okay,there's something here that I'm
being called into bringing,like, I'm it's the article
right? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'mgonna kind of call you on your
bullshit right now. You've hadyour time.

(11:15):
Oh, yeah, like, that's such agift for for for someone who,
like for me who like, Igenuinely have, like, thought my
whole entire life that I've hadto earn my right to be happy.
I've had to earn my right to beloved by people. And I've had to
earn it through like giving somuch. And like the idea of

(11:36):
receiving and like the fact thatyou're willing to literally
penetrate me with your love andrefuse to let me hide from it is
like illuminating, and it isfucking terrifying. And
terrifying means terrific.

(11:57):
I love the way you just put thatlike, because feminine energy
can be penetrative at times itcan be and we like love can be
penetrative at times. And thefeminine is in devotion and in
service to love. And if we areseeing something for a man, and
continuing to allow him to playout in that, like that is not

(12:20):
loving, that is not in serviceto the vision and the entity of
the partnership. And I am notgiving women right now listening
permission to coach theirpartner. This is very different.
This is and this is something ifyou don't understand the
difference come into a practicespace come in and work with me
deeper like to understand thenuance of trying to coach your

(12:41):
partner because you think youknow better than him. Versus
Hey, I'm seeing something or I'mthis is the pain I'm bringing
you what what you're being rightnow. Like I see more for you.
Yeah, and that's like the piecethat I would say I feel in that

(13:01):
as like I feel your fierce heartYour lioness. It's the You are
the king of the fucking jungle.
Don't ever fucking forget that.
That Yep. And it's like, I'm notgonna let you I'm not gonna let
you play into this storyanymore. Because it is not true.
And I will love you and acceptyou in your in your your mess.

(13:21):
And I'm going to be the one thatcalls you to resurrect. Yeah,
and that's such a that's thatthere's a risk there for you
because I could pull away evenmore like I could literally pull
away I'm like, Well, no, I don'twant that. I want to step away
from this relationship. Like youalmost have to put down
relationships like will you feellike this is no longer serving
you? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna callyou to step up and in in this

(13:46):
relationship I'm going to holdthat that standard for you
because I know that's whatyou're here to hold yourself to.
MayI share that and this might feel
like a very vulnerable moment.
Did ya know it can I share that?
Yeah, I'm I want to shareeverything on this happy like
everythingand there was a moment this is

(14:07):
really almost like the climaxthe climax point out like the
challenging month we had it withyou just we just both had a trip
back to your family, which washorrible was really challenging
for you. You brought a lot upand we came back home and I'd
said something where you didn'tfeel like I was supporting you

(14:30):
at all. And and you really youreally went into a
I really was I reacted youreacted
but the reacted the reactionturned into more. You were just
with what was a lie. It wasalmost like everything from the

(14:51):
last month it was just likecould not hold itself in your
body any longer. I'd reached atipping point and so you you
wanted to be alone and you'reoff And because you have a
pattern of I want to do thisalone Don't come near me.
I also don't feel safe, like,around people to be like, like
I, I in the past when I'vereacted in that way, and gone

(15:13):
into an emotional, like a seasonof an experience of like deep
emotional release. People havetried to fix me or they've like
latched on to me. And it's okay.
Don't worry, don't worry, theylike tried to, like, pacify me,
and not let me actually havethat experience. Yeah. And I'm
also very, very, like, I'mscared, I feel dangerous. I feel
I feel this destructive. Sothere's a part of me that

(15:35):
doesn't feel like I don't wantto, I don't want anyone to be
near me in case I hurt them. Orin case I hurt myself, or in
case I do somethingembarrassing. Yeah.
And in that moment, I wanted tocome in and, and connect and
find that place, you know, turnthis moment of conflict into
deeper connection. And you werejust like know, leave me alone,

(15:56):
which is not something that everreally goes down in our
relationship ever. No, we neverreally say hey, no, like, it's
usually there might be a triggerthere. And we might be
activated. But but we reallymeet in the moment. So I gave
you the space. And then and thisis what we're really talking
about in terms of the feminineOracle, like I knew, even though

(16:16):
you were telling me to go away.
I needed to be in that room withyou. Yeah. And so I walked back
in, I opened the door. And eventhough and again, this is so
nuanced, because we want tolisten to our partner, I want to
trust a partner, and respectthem. But I knew that this was
going to be for this to be adoorway to really deep healing

(16:38):
for not only you but us as acouple, I had to fucking walk
back into that room. And I hadto, this makes me emotional. I
had to bring in that energy oflike, no, like, It's safe to let
me witness you in this. It'ssafe to be seen in this. It's
safe to be held in this. And youwill literally on the floor,

(17:01):
like crying and really feelingdeeply. And I just came and put
my hand on you and was justsilent. And you know, this was
for maybe half an hour in theend that I just stayed and even
when, you know, he was saying Iwant to be alone. I just stayed
and stayed and stayed andstayed. And yeah, it was such a

(17:21):
beautiful, beautiful moment.
When that opening came. Yeah,that was extremely healing. And
I yeah, I just did not want youthere is just so did not want
any I was like no, this is notfor this is not for anyone to

(17:43):
experience about me. And Ireally wanted to default to my
my usual, I'll just do itmyself. And, yeah, I'm sure a
lot of men can relate to this.
It's like, if I let you see mein this, you won't love me. But

(18:03):
this part of me isn't lovable.
And that's the gift that youcontinue to give me my love. Is
that your love you teach me tolove the parts that I don't
believe are worthy of love.
Yeah. And that's yeah, that wasso that was that was terrifying
for me to like to give in tothat emotion to like, literally
give in or like surrender to it.
And then have you loved methrough it. Yeah. And yeah. That

(18:26):
was hard.
And I think this is one of themost beautiful things when we
have been together inpartnership for a long time with
someone, you understand theirpatterns. And like I you know,
you said I knew that you didn'twant me there because it didn't

(18:47):
feel safe. And you had thatstory of this is just for me.
And she doesn't get to witnessme in this. Because that's too
vulnerable. That's going toaffect how she said whatever it
is, I knew that and so I keptreminding you, you know, I let
me love you in this. I think Iwas telling you that let me love
you in this. Yeah, I want tolove you in this.

(19:12):
Yeah, I remember as a kid Iremember when i i What did I do?
I was yeah, he had blown up onthe softball field. I think I've
told the story a few times, butthis is kind of just deepening
the stories like I yelled at myteammates and stormed off and
was a bad sport and was upset.
And I remember that night I wasin the shower and my mum came in
I was like a 10 or 11 year oldboy like just about to go

(19:35):
through puberty. My mom camestorming in and just like lashed
out at me and I was like, I wasalready crying. I was emotional.
I felt like a piece of shit andmom came in and just started
screaming at me about how I'ddisrespected the family and all
of these things and I wasgrounded forever or like just
completely annihilated me. Andyeah, it was like I Yeah, it's
so funny. Like I've like closingthe door being in contained spec

(19:57):
I feel safe when I'm like,tucked away from people. Yeah,
like, I can. Yeah, for me, likebeing contained spaces away,
like where people can't get meis so important to me like,
like, because it's where I feelsafe. And people can't get me
and I just Yeah, I think thatwas the piece that I was worried
about was like that you weregoing to come in. And like,
because I'd acted a certain wayyou were going to tell me that I

(20:18):
was wrong for feeling what I wasfeeling. But you didn't as you
always do. You're perfectly No,I'm really not, but I'm not
perfect. I'm good at loving you,you're
very good at loving me. And Ithink that's like, like, for me,
that's one of the blessings of alonger term relationship when

(20:39):
you go through the seasons. Andeven though you know, the past
six weeks I've yet I have beenin it. Like, when you've got
someone who is you're literallyright or die, like when someone
commits to you on that level.
It's not about like, therelationship always being happy
go lucky. Like, it's not aboutthe fact that like, oh,
something's there's conflicthere, let's get it over and done

(21:00):
with. So we can have that deepconnection and go back to being
in bliss. It's like, this is aseason of Jacob going through a
fucking dark night of the soul.
Yeah. And I'm gonna hold thetorch. And I'm going to trust
that this is going to take aslong as it takes. And I'm going
to honor him with the truth ofmy heart, as I see fit. And I

(21:23):
have to trust, like this is thepart where faith and trust of
self is essential. Because ifyou try to use a book, or a
formula, or an algorithm orprocess to get to where you need
to, you'll you'll never breakthrough, you'll never break new
ground and create another layerof connection in your
relationship, there's going tobe a level of vulnerability and

(21:44):
courage and exposure requiredfor you guys to go to that next
level. And that's essentiallywhat Yeah, well, and for me, I'm
so good at like doing that whenyou're in it. You're in the
mess. But when I'm in the mess,I'm like, this is this is this
is it, the relationships over,I'm moving back to evil, I'm
quitting my business, I'm gonnaget a job. I'm gonna get back
and I'm gonna do what I'vealways done and play it safe.

(22:06):
Because this is all too fuckingmuch. Yeah.
I think those moments and Ireally, you know, I think this
is part of our purpose inbringing these kinds of
conversations forth is thatyou're right, like, if you're in
a long felt like we've beentogether, almost 10 years. Yeah,
cause there's going to lifehappens. Yeah. And I think even

(22:29):
more so moving into this journeyof parenthood, if we aren't
devoted to staying and holdingin the gritty moments, if we are
just so hell bent on grabbing ahold of the great moments, or
expecting our partner to begreat all the time. Like, no,
and those moments where life isreally happening for one of you,

(22:50):
or both of you. And it feelsgreedy. That's actually such a
beautiful opportunity to routedown deeper into the, you know,
the roots of their relationshipwith the roots of your devotion.
That's actually a perfect timeto read. Devote yourself to this
person. Yeah, to find it like adeeper texture of your devotion.

(23:12):
And what's devotion, if it isn'tchallenged, right, like devotion
requires like Courage requiresdevotion is only devotion, it
calls you deeper into somethingthat's like, that's what
commitment is, that's whatthat's what like saying yes to
something that you don't fullyknow where it's going. Like
that's, that's what like, for memarriage is that's what like a
relationship that operates atthis depth, is it saying yes to

(23:38):
all of it. And the thing thatI've always always said to and I
like men, men are starting tounderstand this. And what I love
about our relationship is like,it's going to ask for a little
more than you want to give. It'salways going to ask for a little
more than what's comfortable foryou to give. That's what
sacrifices that's what that'swhat it means to make sacred, a

(24:01):
relationship, a business, afriendship, a meal, whatever,
it's going to ask you to give alittle more than is comfortable.
And that's what I believe islike the journey of life is to
give in a way that you trust youare going to receive whatever it
is that you need back. Yeah.
Okay, it feels really beautifulto to share about that. And that

(24:24):
feels complete.
Okay, shall we move on anythingelse you want to bring before we
move on to the q&a? We've movedinto a new house? We have well,
we're out of that season. Yes.
We had incredible sex today. Didwe? Really? Yeah, we did. This
is also something that youalways remind me when we're in a
season of not having as much sexor when we go to have sex and it

(24:47):
again, it feels gritty or evenlast night we went we had the
best day ever and then went tomake love and you started tying
me up and doing all these thingsand then I just got super
emotional. And then it justturned into you like holding me
and hugging me. And there was apart of me that was just like,
why the fuck? Why is thishappening again? And then you

(25:10):
just reminded me again, you werelike, remember, this always
happens. And it always leads tolike the greatest sex ever. And
we did have incredible sextoday. Yes. Yeah. And I think
being able to ride those seasonsof the relationship knowing that
it's preparing you for, youknow, more depth, more openness,

(25:33):
more connection more. Yeah.
Yeah. Deeper texture of intimacythan ever before. Oh, we have
moved into a new house. It feelsreally good. This is the house
or birth our baby. And we'recurrently
sitting in our lounge room.
We've got the podcast studio allset up. You can notice the brick

(25:54):
at the background. We have aircon right now. So today, we're
waiting and freaking out aboutthe temps. So it feels really
good to be landing here. Andyeah. Thanks for Thanks for
sticking with us. We've beenYeah, we've been MIA for the
last couple of weeks. I know.
Thank you. And we're back inaction. So yeah, we're gonna be
dropping in. We've got a fewguests lined up as well. I've

(26:15):
got a few guests lined up thatare coming on in the next couple
of weeks. And yeah, let's let'sdive into these questions. Hey,
let's go. That was by far thelongest intro we've ever done.
26 minutes camefor the pregnancy q&a. Hopefully
you just skipped there.
Alrighty, sowe've had a bunch of questions
come in,we have, and I'm going to read

(26:35):
them out to you to begin with.
So is the tell us about your isthat the first one. Tell us
about your preconceptionjourney? Yeah, let's do that.
Let's start with that. So mylove. Tell us about your
preconception journey. Ooh.

(26:55):
For me, I feel like we can talkabout it physically, and then
emotionally and spiritually,I think I'll just talk
emotionally and spiritually,physically.
I feel like we've known forlike, seven years, probably
seven years that we wanted tohave a child together. And this

(27:19):
is, that's always been aconversation. It's never been
one of us having to convince theother it's always been we want
this together. We actuallythought we were really ready
maybe like four years ago. Andwe weren't and we were not. And
I'm so glad that we didn't endup really choosing that
we would have been jumping thegun majorly.
And so it's probably been thelast two years that we were

(27:41):
like, well, since we got marriedat the end of 2022. Yeah, we
were like, Okay, we know we'regoing to choose this in the next
year or so. But we're alsowanting to build our businesses
a little more. I wanted toprepare my body physically. I
loved that time, though. I lovethat time between our wedding.

(28:03):
And, you know, we ended upconceiving or deciding to be
ready to conceive January 2020,through 2024. And so that time
was really I really loved thattime because it was like, we
knew we wanted to be pregnant.
But we weren't open to it tophysically being pregnant. We

(28:24):
were moving.
Yeah, like we were like excitedabout the idea of it. But we
weren't like, let's get startedas quickly as possible. That's
actually enjoy the prep thatpreparation. We were really
consciousabout being in the conception
phase or the pre conceptionphase. And so for me that looks
like I had some gut issueshappening a few years ago. So
probably almost two years ago. Idid a lot of like gut. You know,

(28:47):
I did a big gut. Gut reset withmy naturopath and friend Talia.
And that was really amazing. Andthen when I was really sure
Okay, in the next six months,we're gonna fall pregnant. I
went and got all these bloodsdone I worked with Talia again
had some thyroid pieces to kindof clean up I did a bit of a

(29:08):
liver cleanse to support that. Istarted taking you know a bunch
of hubs and different things tosupport myself so I probably did
a good for I went off coffee. Istarted not that I drank a lot
but you know, I I stopped reallyhaving an alcohol. Yeah.

(29:30):
Stop it doing other things.
Yeah,we stopped doing any substances,
any medicines. Andyeah, I was just in that was
really preparing my body in thatway. And that felt so beautiful
again, I loved I loved like,that felt that felt like almost
being pregnant. That was likeI'm choosing this and I'm sure

(29:52):
I'm not drinking coffee becauseI'm about to be open to being
pregnant. And I'm doing I'mtaking all these things. It was
just Like such I loved thattime. I loved that time so much.
And then, you know, we wouldalways we would just we would
talk about it, we would talkabout it on the podcast, we we
went, we would share witheveryone that, you know, we

(30:12):
wanted to be conceiving and thiswas coming in our, you know, we
could really feel, you know, ourchild wanted to come through.
Yeah. But we weren't quitesaying yes yet.
And we were speaking not as ifit was already done, but it was
being like, yeah, we're lookingforward to becoming parents.
We're excited at the at the, atthe starting at the start of the
next season of our life. And weweren't holding on to. And we

(30:36):
made some, like we made somedecisions where we're like,
okay, cool. Yeah, we're notgoing to choose this right now.
Because we're moving towardsthis anchoring down into our
businesses. We've made systemicmoves, we've made certain moves
in our businesses that allow amore sustainable, longer term
growth strategy to be availableto us. Yeah. And that has meant

(30:57):
that we've had to go throughsome initiatory experiences with
that as well, which has beengreat. But yeah, I really felt
like Yeah, we were honoringthis, I guess, stage before.
Yes, really beautifully. Oh,yeah, you were definitely. And
I was very intent on doing thephysical side. And I did want
you to come along and do thephysical side with me. And I

(31:18):
was, I'd organized for Jacob orasked Jacob Hey, do you want to
do some blood tests and go dosome gut stuff? And you were
saying yes, for a while, I paidthe money, and you paid the
money to go and see our friendTyler as well to do the good
stuff. And then, and then I justthink you got to the point where
you're like, that's not actuallymy way.
I didn't want to do it. Youdidn't want to do it. And I

(31:39):
didn't feel the need. I don'tfeel like I've got gut issues.
And there was a few moments. Andsomebody might listen to this
and just be like, What the fuck,like if you if I wanted you to
do it, but you, you I knew Ireminded you a few times, or
shared that this was somethingthat I would love you to do. And
then me tablets, I bought youpreconception things. And you're

(32:03):
just not about it. And I reallyrespect that because you were
doing your own. Like you werevery intentional with doing
certain plant medicineceremonies, you did Cambo, which
was like a big detox you wereyou were doing all of the things
but just not in the way that Iwanted you to. Yeah, and my

(32:23):
journey was okay, I'm gonnarelease that. And you get you
get to move towards fatherhoodin the way that you see fit. And
I trust that totally.
And I think there was a part ofme that was trying to appease
you. Yeah, and that's a reallygross energy. No, and I never
want you to do that. Yeah. Sogross energy. And yeah, we're

(32:44):
different. Yeah. Inherently, weare different. And I felt, I was
like, Oh, this is what's truefor me, doesn't mean that it's
right or wrong. It's just thisis the path that I want to take
here. Like I did, I went and satceremony, and I tuned into the
farther that I'm ready to be,and the challenges that I know
are going to come that I won'tknow how to handle them, and I'm

(33:06):
going to have to trust and alsojust like cleansing my body of
like, the the Kamba was a realdetoxification for me, it was
like, I this is how I do it. AndI'm not a supplement guy, I'm
not a powder, powdered sub. Idon't do that shit. And I'm okay
with that beat. Like, and I knowthat there's a part of me that's
reckless in that, but that'salso Who the fuck I am. Totally.

(33:29):
And,and we eat like, we eat organic,
we, you know, we put veryhealthy food in our body. So we,
this isn't as if we were, therewas a lot to shift and change.
AndI like to get over here every
now and then. Yeah. For sure.
I'm okay with with the design ofmy life. And there was an

(33:49):
intentionality that came withlike, Yeah, I'm gonna step into
ceremony and yeah, like, I'vealready been preparing to the
point where like, like, alcoholisn't, isn't a determining
factor in my life. That doesn'tmean whether I have fun or not.
I don't need to be eating lotsof shitty food to feel good. I
don't need to be consuming awhole lot of like, it's like,
I've already created a lifestylewhere my body is in a pretty

(34:12):
awesome state 95% of the time.
Yeah. So I was like, reallycomfortable that and for me, it
was really the spiritual essenceof fatherhood. And like, for me,
it was really a creating the,the, the acceptance that i i get
the, this, you know, it's been adesire ever since I was a kid to
be a father, like that's beenlike, ah, like, what I've always

(34:33):
just yet after being the oldestof four children, I've been so
excited at the either the ideaof having a little human that we
get to look after it is myresponsibility, and I have to
and it's going to show me allthe things that I still haven't
yet seen about myself. Like I'mso excited about that. So for
me, it was actually knowing thatI am worthy of that. And that
when that time comes that Idon't freak out. Yeah. One of

(34:58):
the things that I was reallyconscious of was once I get what
I want, not fearing losing it,and staying in that place of
like, oh, this is a blessing.
This is a beautiful, beautifulthing that I get. So yeah, that
was the preconception journeyfor me. Amazing. Anything else

(35:19):
you want to say about that andwe're gonna move on, move on.
And your body is looking rockinmy love. You've done such an
incredible job of the thehealthy vessel. Sexy vessel.
It does take him loves mypregnancy boobs. So the
greatest. Okay, next question.
I'm just aware of time. Yeah.

(35:42):
How have your symptoms been? Howmy symptoms? How are your
symptoms? Well, I'm officially17 weeks now. I feel very, I've
had a great pregnancy. You'vebeen amazing. And I also think a
lot of like, I'm, I feel reallygrateful to have done a lot of
the physical preconception work,because we did. We fell pregnant
the first time we we were opento it. Yes. So we talked about

(36:07):
where we can save. Okay, gottakeep that to ourselves. Tell him
I also just love like, whenbecause we were very conscious
about wanting to call you know,wanting to be pregnant and
wanting wanting our child tocome. And I think so many people
have these like ultra spiritualstories of like, you know, we
lit the candle we cold in thespirit we we found in the male

(36:30):
toilets next to the sauna of theapartments that were staying out
with my parents.
Yeah. And it was like it waslike wild said we
had wild sex to conceive a childlike you like we just had like a
sweaty sauna together. And thenwe were both just like hungry,

(36:50):
hungry for each other. So we welocked the toilet door of the
male toilets. Yeah.
And went at it and went to wentabout making a baby.
So that is how our child wasconceived. And yeah, so we fell
pregnant the first time we wereopen to her, which was so
fucking great. And I feel soblessed. And then I had a really

(37:13):
great first trimester like Ihad. I was the fifth. The first
trimester fatigue is veryfucking real. Yeah, like it was
very, very fatigued. But Iprobably only had three weeks,
probably week six to nine wherethat fatigue was really intense.
And then I just felt hung overfor those three weeks. Yeah, I

(37:34):
would say felt queasy.
You just seem to have likeseasickness. Yeah, for three
weeks. Yeah.
And I never threw up but I wouldhave to like lie down a lot. And
I couldn't really work much andI would just have to eat I was
really into pizza. Yeah, I wouldI carb loading multiple times.
During those three weeks, I wentout like I'd be a poll or like

(37:54):
doing other things. And I'd goand get like a whole pizza and
just eat it in my car. Oh mygod. I never do that I never
like and like at home. I'd cookpasta and like not put anything
on. It would just be pasta orlike pasta and cheese. I never
eat G so unlike you. Oh my god.
And then I got really into thosegluten free English muffins.
You're buying me? Yeah. So yeah,the cravings were really real.

(38:15):
But I feel after week nine, itliterally just it was like I
click my fingers. And thosesymptoms all just went away. And
I started to feel so alive. Andmy energy came back and I've I
felt so great. I felt so great.
I met that I keep saying aboutthat. Like it's not strange.
It's such a beautiful season ora stage of pregnancy where I'm

(38:37):
like, I'm not really feelingany, any kicks or anything yet
or any kind of movement yet. AndI'm also just feeling really
energized and like my normalhealth. So it's such a, it's a
really interesting time. It'slike I can feel the eagerness of
like, I want to, I want a biggerbelly and I can't wait to like
feel things and just that likeyeah, the eagerness is really

(39:00):
exciting. Yeah,it feels like we're in like sort
of that that lull stage. Likeit's like you're pregnant. Yep,
you've had the symptoms. And nowyou're feeling good again. Yeah,
boobs are looking great. There'sa little bit of a bump. But I
feel like then in the next sortof six to eight weeks, it's all
going to sort of really, reallybe real. Yeah. I don't know what
the next questions are. Becauseyeah, let's go on to the next

(39:23):
question. Especially. I'm surewhat I want to say will come
through. So very curious aboutthe choice if any of those who
will accompany your delivery ordid you want to talk about how
we're getting through thechanges?
Let's do that one first. Okay,cuz I think that also weaves
into our choices duringpregnancy, correct?

(39:43):
Yeah.
I'm choosing and were choosingwhat some people would call a
wild pregnancy Wild Wild so Ihaven't seen anyone I haven't
had I haven't been to a doctor.
I haven't got a blood test. Ihaven't had any scans. I'm not
getting any older. Sounds I'mopting out of really being a
part of the medical system.

(40:05):
Because for me, this isn't amedical event Well, for me,
that's my, that's what I'mchoosing. I'm choosing that this
is this is not a medical event.
And I do not want my pregnancyto be medicalized. So yeah, just
I'm just, I'm just growing andBaby, I'm living my life and I'm
growing a baby, andyou're doing the most natural

(40:28):
thing that a woman does.
It feels it really feels likethat. And, you know, I know
this. There's a question aroundthis coming up, but I have never
felt and I've had I haven't hada lot of pushback from that. But
I'm very open and sharing thatwith with people and I've had
some people close to me questionlike not getting scans or

(40:49):
question certain things, and Ihave never felt so fucking
fierce and unfuck winnable. Likeso certain in my choices, like
you could come at me and somepeople are coming at me online
with certain things. It's like,come at me you could come at me

(41:10):
with anything right now. Andthat is not going to shift the
way I feel about the choices I'mmaking in pregnancy and birth.
Oh, and that feels so fuckinggood. There is a fierceness I'm
activating as a woman right nowthat I I haven't felt the degree
of fierceness in my body beforethe degree of lack and there's

(41:33):
no other word for it but likeunfuck with a bull with a bliss
right like no one can convinceme otherwise like no one can
wobble my belief in and trust inmy baby might trust in myself
like trust in life. And I feelso fucking good.
There's a deep and I got whatI'm hearing and that is like

(41:53):
it's this deep knowing Yeah, andwith that deep knowing it's like
we are willing to meet whateveris is here. And
it is like you know I've I'vealso been listening to lots of
podcasts and I'll speak aboutour plan and decisions around
birth in a moment was I goingwith that? What did you say deep

(42:14):
knowing deep knowingI was really gonna go somewhere
then and you were and then Iforgotten
I said to you this is really adeep knowing for you and like
then that you're choosing thisfrom a place of like I can't
remember eithergreat night I was gonna go so I
really fears and I forget. Butyeah, they do. I do feel a

(42:41):
really deep knowing this. Andyeah, I'm so I'm so solid in our
decision. And yeah, right now.
So, you know, for the rest ofour pregnancy plans on being
wild. We're not going to haveany. It's going to be an
unassisted pregnancy. I'm notgoing to have any scans or this

(43:01):
links into our birth choices.
We're not we're having amedically unassisted birth. We.
Our plan is just to have you,Mia. Love Django, you know,
he will be in another Okay.
Definitely.
Maybe someone will come and getDjango. And then it'll be Jacob,
me. Obviously our baby and abookkeeper or a doula who we

(43:25):
haven't. We're having somemeetings right now with some
women. I have a really goodfeeling about one particular
woman. Yeah, and that. That's,that feels really fucking good.
That's it. That's it.
We got a pool. We got to give acall. I think I'll give birth
here. Yeah, in this room.
And then who fucking knows? Oncewe're at once it's happening
where I want to give birth?
Yeah, what the feeling will bebut um, but yeah.

(43:51):
This is like, yeah, this, thisisn't one of the things that
I've said to a few people thathave asked me about I was like,
we're not going to all of asudden change our views
that I'm so passionate aboutthis, because we aren't. I went
to the hospital recently becauseof an emergency. Yeah, because I
can't my toe open. I do not seea doctor usually. We do not use

(44:13):
medication. We do not like whyam I suddenly going to be
growing a baby and go into asystem I do not partake in in
our regular day life. Like, nothank you. And then I'm not and
I just also want to preface thatI'm not saying that is system is
no other woman should partake inthat do what feels good. Do what

(44:36):
feels in integrity with you. Butthat's not integrity with that
that's not in integrity withthat life. And
the funny thing is like and thisis the beautiful paradox of how
we live our life is that when wedo go and engage with the
hospitals, we have suchincredible experiences. We get
the most amazing humans who aredoing amazing work in those
spaces who are deeply respectfulof us and our perception and our

(44:59):
view Use yeah and they are sodeeply of service in their in
their own right like we had suchan amazing you like cut your
pinky toe half of your pinky toeoff by
really did kicking the wall. AndI went in and I said to Jacob,
when we're in the car, I said,hey. And I was like almost
blacking out from just like, ohmy gosh, having kicked my toe

(45:21):
and I just said to him, Hey, Ithink we're going to probably
have to advocate for ourselvesor for me a lot during this once
they find out. I'm pregnant, andI haven't had any scans. Yeah.
And they were so great. And itwas also I'm, I know I can't my
toy pen to have that experienceof being able to say no, like we
went into emergency. They wantedto give me an x ray. I said, No.

(45:41):
They wanted to get that askedme. Have you confirmed your
pregnancy? Yeah, I know. I'mpregnant. I peed on a stick. And
I'm also my belly is going onover it. Have you confirmed it?
Yeah. What do you fucking name?
Yeah, and I get what they do forthem like confirming is the
bloodwork scan the system thatthey have. And they were like,

(46:03):
oh, no, we don't want that. Wedon't want to do that. And
they're like, well, that's okay.
We don't need to do that. Andthey're like,
cool. And they were great. Andthen I didn't want I said no to
me. I said, I'm not sure I saidno to all of these things. And
they were so respectful. And Ithink that is I don't I don't
hold. I'm not righteous in and Iwill I hope people don't feel
the righteousness. But I justknow, these are my choices. And

(46:27):
I'm not going to make you feelwrong or like, no, of course,
I'm not getting a scan. Butlike, yeah, that was such a
beautiful experience to be in ahospital setting and to advocate
for myself with such ease.
Yeah, yeah. And, and that's whatI've, you know, we are not
against, we're not for against,we choose what our path is. And

(46:50):
when we do engage with you, evenwhen you had your appendix out a
few years ago, and when we'vewhenever we've been into the the
Western medical system, we'vedone it due to an emergency.
Yeah. And we've been supported.
And we've received likeincredible support incredible
humans. And it's always been areally great experience for us.
Yeah. So I just want to honorthat. Yeah, what we're choosing

(47:11):
is we're choosing because that'swhat we deeply know, in our
bones. And we also trust andrespect everyone else's choices
and the path that they choose.
Because that is your that isyour choice. Yeah. Oh,
anything else we want to sayabout our, our plan to birth and
pregnancy,just know that this is, this is
an initiation, this is a rite ofpassage for you and that we're

(47:32):
not going to, like we want, weboth want the full experience we
want to be with every moment,every breath, every every sound,
every sensation, every smell, wewant it we want it all. And
that's you know, we're here tolive our life through our body,
through our through ourrelationship through our, you

(47:53):
know, our devotion to the momentand this is to do it to do it
any other way would be toapproach this any other way
would be dishonouring. You knowwhat, what's true for us? Yeah.
I also just want to say myoriginal plan was always a home
birth, but with a midwife, yes.
And then once we becamepregnant, I reached out to a
particular midwife, and shedidn't get back to me for like a

(48:17):
month. Yeah. And in that time, Ifound a podcast called the free
birth podcast, I'd heard of freebirth, I'd watched free birth
videos, which is basically awoman birthing outside of having
any medical attendants or any,you know, any trained medical
person there. And I always hadplanned on free birthing,
thinking that all I was onlyallowed to free birth for my

(48:40):
like, third or fourth child, andnot for him for children. But
like, after multiple children, Iwas like, oh, women don't do
that. I'll, I'll have a midwife.
My first child. Yes. And thenthis midwife took a month to get
back to me. And in the process,I binged all of this free birth,
like, not all but a load ofepisodes. And I could not deny

(49:00):
that that is what I that's whatI was being asked to do. Yeah,
it was just Yeah, it was veryclear. I and I said, and, you
know, I'm not technically havinga full free birth of just you
and me, I'm gonna have, youknow, a woman who's free birthed
herself and, and, you know, isworking as a birth working now,
in this space, but and this iswhat I was gonna say before.

(49:23):
We're circling back.
But yeah, that it just became soclear that like, this is what
I'm being called into. It wasn'teven me choosing it. It was
like, This is what the baby isasking for. She does not want a
fucking midwife there. She doesnot she wants you and, and you
know, you and yeah, that justfelt really powerful. And like,

(49:46):
again, this is where I'm feelingsomeone fuckup on. Luckily, the
ball in his pregnancy is thatwe've
got a little friend here. I'mgonna let him out and you keep
talking.
Do you think he needs to peeYeah, I
think you might need to pay.
Um, yeah, I'm just feeling so.
Yeah, the clarity in that, andlike, what I was being called

(50:07):
into, felt really powerful. Butwhat I was gonna say before is
that I'm very, I think choosingthis wild pregnancy and choosing
the way that we want to birth.
I'm also aware that that's mebeing super fucking sovereign
and with with sovereignty comesresponsibility. I'm very aware

(50:28):
of that I'm very aware that I'mnot outsourcing any of my
decisions or any responsibilityto anyone. And it's, it's on me,
and that I've been preparing,preparing for that for a very
long time. Not even realizing,but really knowing that the way
we've lived our life, and howmuch we've extricated ourselves

(50:50):
from giving other people handingover our responsibility is
really, yeah, this it'spreparing us for this moment. It
is, it is my love.
Okay, next question.
Next question. How are younavigating through the changes
in identity from maiden tomother?

(51:12):
I think I've already likebasically answered and said that
I really mean answered that.
Yeah, I actually want to circleback to when we spoke about. We
knew we wanted to have childrenfor a while. And even with that,
knowing probably two years ago,and then before that, I knew I
wanted to become a mother, butthere was a terror around
becoming a mother. And I alwaysthink that was the main and

(51:35):
energy of being terrified tolose my freedom. I'd created
such a life of deep freedom.
That for a long time, again,even though I knew I wanted to
become a mother, there was suchterror because I didn't want I
just wanted to be able to dowhatever I wanted. Whenever I

(51:56):
wanted, I wanted to be able to,you know, I didn't want to
suddenly be tethered tosomething and the responsibility
really, it wasn't scared me, itterrified me. Yep. And that
really shifted a few years ago,maybe two years ago. And it was
I think it was my own innertransition of that energetic of

(52:19):
made into mother that suddenly Isaw what a portal that
responsibility can be toeverything I desire, that
actually this like, oh my god, Ijust get to do whatever I want,
whenever I want. Like, that'snot actually what I want for the
rest of my life. I want to findmore of myself through
responsibility, I want to findmore of myself, and more of my

(52:43):
depth and more of life throughbeing tethered to something, and
being devoted to something andhaving someone or something rely
on me so deeply. And so thatreally shifted for me a few
years ago. And it was a muchshift felt like a maturing, even
in my business, like no longerjust being like, I just want to

(53:05):
like, do as little as possibleand make as much money as
possible. I'm like, I want to bea fucking teacher that's known
for fucking something. And Iknow that comes with such a
depth of responsibility. And Iwill choose that and route down
into that. And that also Yeah,shifted my my view of towards
motherhood. And then like,whilst being pregnant, there's,

(53:27):
again, just this fiercenessthat's come over me and I'm so
excited. I'm so like, I'm, I'mso excited to birth, I'm safe.
I'm so excited for theinitiation of birth. And
motherhood, the initial theinitiation of pregnancy, even so
far, has me feeling so fierce.
Like, I cannot imagine who I'mgoing to be on the other side.

(53:49):
On the other side of that, yeah.
And guess what I've reallynoticed, like, is that level of
like, willingness to beresponsible, that level of like
you have, and this is somethingthat I've noticed just you with
our dog Django, like, the factthat odd being responsible for

(54:11):
something allows us to live likeit's another relationship that
brings that amplifies the lovein our lives, and brings more of
us alive. And like even like,yeah, having having a dog in the
house. It's it's created such awhole Yeah, it's a whole nother
level of presence. He can'tleave chocolate on the bed, she
can't leave the You can't leavethings on the ground because he

(54:33):
will eat it requires you to beso much more present and aware.
And then from that you get tohave this whole new
relationship. And yeah, I'm justso excited to for that, for that
to happen. For you with a child.
Like the whole journey of like,yeah, like you said, motherhood.
You get to go through theinitiation of birth, like you're

(54:53):
getting to experience that soI'm super excited for him. I
love Mama, Mama. Hello, Mama,do you want to share anything I
kind of skipped over before likeour short Do you want to share
any of your feelings on ourchoices? And if that's been if
anything's come up for you,because it's been me going, I'm
having a wild pregnancy. I'm notletting anyone touch me. This is

(55:16):
the way I suddenly don't want tomidwife Do you want to just
share a little bit because I'msure, I know people are
intrigued.
I believe there are a lot of menwho let their fear trap their
woman into decisions that aren'ttrue for her. And I know that.

(55:37):
And I know that a lot of men arescared to hold their woman
through or hold space for theirwoman through this initiatory
sequence. Because they haven'tbeen initiated correctly
themselves. So an uninitiatedman cannot hold a woman through
the deepest initiation ofherself. And this is why fuck
it, I'll say, Oh, this is whymen rely on hospitals for this.

(55:58):
They, they they rely on otherthey outsource their
responsibility. And you know,the ads vulnerable for me to
say, yes, I want to be in theroom and hold you through this.
And that exposes me to fullresponsibility for whatever
occurs in that, in thatexperience. That means that I
have to be okay with whateverhappens happening. And I believe

(56:20):
that there are a lot of men whohaven't been initiated or
haven't been through aninitiatory experience that's
appropriate and right for them,for them to be like, Hey, I
trust you, I trust your body. Itrust what nature has created. I
trust, you know, that you arecapable of doing the thing that
you are inherently designed todo as a woman. And this modern

(56:41):
landscape of gender and all ofthis stuff, don't get me
started. I don't want to sayanything to righteous. But yeah,
we've created a lot ofconfusion. And we've lost the
essence of what it really meansto be a woman and what it really
means to be a man, especially inregards to people who are
choosing to step into amonogamous, heterosexual
relationship. Like it gets to besacred, we get to honor the

(57:05):
these these moments and reallyembrace them. So for me, this
just feels normal. The other wayfeels not abnormal, go and give
other people the, the theresponsibility doesn't feel
right. Considering that the last10 years of our life, we've been
developing a sense ofsovereignty around our inner
knowing around our bodies andaround what we're choosing to do

(57:27):
with them. So yeah, this alljust feels this old when you
when you shed all of this, youknow, the only thing that I was
a little bit hesitant. I waslike, Oh, I really want to
actually be happy, mentored by awoman who's done this, like a
birth keeper who's been throughthis rite of passage and
actually have someone that canmentor us and guide us on this
and not just do it from thatrighteous place. If we know

(57:48):
better. Yeah. So that was reallythat was the one thing that was
a requirement was like, we needto have someone in our corner
that's done this that can guideus and answer the questions that
we have. And what are steady mewhen I wobble? Yeah, because
once again, yeah, this is goingto be an initiation for me,
actually, allowing you to gothrough what you need to go
through. Yeah. It was okay.
Alrighty. Last questions, how doyou think having a baby will

(58:18):
impact your intimacy? Well,we're gonna be co sleeping. We
have a little baby in the bed, Icannot wait for that.
I think I think it would benaive to say it wouldn't. I
think it's, I think it's, ofcourse, gonna majorly impact,
it's going to impact it. And Ialso think it's going to deepen

(58:41):
it. Because, for me, intimacyis, is so much wider, deeper,
the breadth of intimacy goes farbeyond you putting your cock in
my pussy, or in one of my otherhalls. So I think our intimacy
will deepen, and our intimacywill be so fucking strong. I

(59:06):
know it will. And I know, youknow, of course, it's going to
be challenging. Of course,there's going to be moments our
entire life is about to change.
And I'm not I'm, I'm not. Yeah,I'm so in. I'm so aware of that.
Yeah. And I really truly believewe, our intimacy and how much we

(59:26):
see each other and hold eachother and feel connected to each
other, is going to literallyamplify beyond anything we've
ever felt.
I feel like we're probably goingto, like, take a shit in front
of each other.
Like, yeah, that probably. Wedon't do that. That
kind of like shitting in frontof each other or I'll pair up

(59:46):
yeah, we'll pay it back. But Ifeel like we're gonna get to
know each other on a deeperlevel in that way. One of the
things is like, oh, like, I needto take a shit you're in the
shower. Like we have, like, thisis the we're gonna have to,
we're gonna have to record sawthis, this is this is happening.
I loved it. That's why he tookthat,
I feel like we're gonna get tolike, we're gonna just like

(01:00:08):
surrender a little more to the,to the to what life needs is to
the mess of life. But at thesame time, we've built a life
that we get to choose how wespend our day. So we've been
working towards a life where Idon't leave to go to work
somewhere where you have, youknow, we're building businesses
that have deep service tohumanity, but also allow us to

(01:00:30):
live a life that is really trulygreat. And, you know, regardless
of what happens when we have ababy, we're going to meet life
and be drawn deeper. And ourintimacy isn't determined by the
number of times we have sex eachweek.
Yeah, for sure. Even thoughsometimes sometimes I think,
the same time, we're alwaysfocused on the quality of our

(01:00:50):
connection, the quality of theopenness of our hearts, and
whether that channel is clear.
So my, my devotion to you is tokeeping the channel clear. And
knowing that, who who do we needin our community to support us,
as we, you know, take on a highlevel of responsibility, who can
we ask for support? Who's goingto be there for us? And that's
the, you know, anothervulnerable practice of like, Who

(01:01:11):
can we actually let in?
Yeah, so yeah. And then maybe wewe answer that question from a
sex point of view as well,because I think that's where
that person was going with thatas well. Do you feel what what
do you feel? How do you thinkhaving a baby will impact? Let's
just say, your sex life?
Yeah, it'll impact it majorly?
Yeah, you're gonna be birthing achild out of your vagina. Like,

(01:01:35):
there's gonna be like a seasonwhere like, I believe, like,
there'll be a season where like,you will be that there'll be an
extra sensitivity around yournew genitals, and there'll be
like this, you know, even lastnight, or yesterday, we did the
erotic blueprint quiz. And it'slike, oh, like learning how to
actually energetically orgasmand do things like that, and

(01:01:57):
like, actually not rely soheavily on the genital
stimulation and, like, exploredifferent ways of engaging in
sex that I think will allow usto have a broader, a broader
landscape. Yes, it I also thinkwe'll probably have to start to
schedule things in a littlemore. I think. I think that we
have to have like, six time.

(01:02:17):
Yeah, yeah. In the calendarduring
baby naptime. Yeah, yeah, Ithink it I think we'll have to
be a lot more like structuredbaby nap slash BJ.
Yeah, I think my thoughts onthat is like intimacy and also
sex is really important to us.
Yes. And so even though we'regoing to be honoring the shifts

(01:02:39):
and the changes, we are notgoing to let that suddenly
become a non and non existentpart of our life. Like we value
that we that's important to usthat that will be even if your
clock has not been inside mypussy, and in weeks, this will
be a part of our conversation,we will be touching we will be

(01:02:59):
connecting like we will becreatively feeding that part of
our life no matter what unfolds.
Oh, I'm sure of it.
Definitely.
Okay. Yeah.
What are the top parentqualities you see in each other?
No doubt I what I see anyways,patients Yes, like your

(01:03:21):
patients? is insane. And I'm soexcited. Yeah, I just No, I
cannot I like I can see it. Ican see you with our children,
not just like our baby, but Ican see you with all of our
future children. Like, whenthey're 510 1535. Like, just the

(01:03:44):
grace and the patience you offerthem. And you I get I'm on the
receiving end of that everyfucking day. And I know it will
be turned off another fuckinglevel for our children. And I
can't wait, I can't wait forthat. I can't wait for that.
Thankyou, like one of my intentions
is to really help themunderstand life. Yeah. And like,

(01:04:04):
take the time to help themunderstand and feel their
questions. And like, I'm soexcited about that stage of
like, helping them understandthe rules of life, understanding
different things and giving themthe space to explore and just
really just being that, thatcontainer for them to, to feel
safe enough to ask the questionsthat they want answered. And

(01:04:25):
also feel safe enough to engagewith the experiences that they
want to have. And like that's areally important for me to to
know that they're supported andthat I'm going to be there.
Helping them understandboundaries, helping them
understand expression, and likejust fully giving myself and
like letting go of what you knowwhat it needs to look like.
That's the real Yeah, I'm reallyI've been sitting in
contemplation around that quitea lot in the last few weeks

(01:04:46):
around, like, letting it be whatit needs to be. Yeah. Would you
want me to share the topquality? I seen you? I think You
just like love you love you loveyou Love, love, love, love,
love, love. But like, whenyou're like you're you, like

(01:05:06):
drench people with your love.
And you just give yourself tothe moment or you give yourself
someone it's like, it's almost.
Yeah, it's almost uncanny theway that you do it because it's
like, there's no, there's nobarriers. There's no walls up
when you love someone. And Ijust imagine you like even

(01:05:27):
watching you. We went home tovisit my sister, who's recently
had a baby boy, his name'sFinley, and just the way that
you like he did not hesitatelike you were constantly like,
in the space loving him. I camedown now I went up to have
breakfast one morning, and Icame down to get you and you

(01:05:48):
weren't in bed, like you're inbed when I went out and I came
back down. And you weren't inthe room that you were in, I
walked out of there and walkedinto another room and you're
laying in bed with the baby byyourself. And Eliza has gone to
have a shower. And you werelike, asleep with the baby.
Spinning? Yeah. And I was justlike, Oh, you don't let rules
stop you from loving you don'tlet this you know or is this is

(01:06:11):
this? Is this a little too muchyou just love and that, like our
baby is going to be so loved.
Yeah, baby is going to be soloved and looked after. And I
just know that you're gonna justlike get and I'm just to your
affection. You're You're soaffectionate. And, and you are
so yeah, you're so playful. Andthat, you know, so many children

(01:06:34):
love you because of that. And Ijust know our child is going to
have this the best time growingup in this household. Because of
you know, I can't wait. She'slike, I just can't wait to do
all of the rest can't wait tolike, stew apples and like,
like,I feel like this one stuff a
becomes we're just gonna, like,anchor into such deep
simplicity. I already feel thatbeing in this new house. But

(01:06:56):
yeah, I just feel like, I'mgonna
sing a lot. I think I'm gonnalike, I think I'm gonna be very
joyful. I think it's gonna be alot of moments where I'm like,
standing, I'll do something andI'll just break down cry, which
like, this is, this iseverything. Yeah, you're gonna
turn into I think I'm gonna turnit to you. I think I'm gonna, I
think I might have a season ofMeg

(01:07:16):
I do that all the time, guys,I'll just like look at Jacob and
be like,I'm really looking forward to
being grateful. Like, I'malready grateful. But like, I
just know that this is a bigpart. Like, this is something
that I've desired deeply. AndI'm so like, I'm so I feel so
lucky already. But like having,you know, I feel like it's gonna
bring a whole new level ofmeaning to every every thing

(01:07:39):
that I do. And knowing thatyou're looking after our baby,
and that you're feeding our babyfrom your breast, and that
you're holding her and guidingher and we think it's a girl.
It's a girl, just knowing that Ijust, I can deeply trust you to
love our baby in the way thatshe needs to be loved. And

(01:08:04):
that's going to allow me to justlike surf even more deeply in my
work and create an even morehealthier, happier, more
simplistic lifestyle in ourhome. So yeah, it's going to be
big. And it's going to be big,and beautiful.
I'm so excited. I was just gonnashare before lonely. When you're

(01:08:25):
talking about a child's gonnahave so much fun like kids, like
kids love us. Like, childrenwill just flock to us. Yeah. And
we're at this cafe yesterdaynear on your house. And we're
sitting down. And we had the dogthat and like these four kids
came over and they all knew eachother. And they just started

(01:08:47):
playing with Django. And thenthey literally sat at our table.
Yeah, and started having theywere with us for half an hour
easily. And I told them I waspregnant and then they were
asking me what I'm going to callit they were we were talking
baby names. They were telling usabout their love life.
Yes. The seven year old girlsthey're in love are deeply in
like fellin love at six. Still another
seven. And I love like that wasmy favorite moment of yesterday.

(01:09:13):
Yeah, me you talking to thosechildren just like asking them
questions. I love how curiouschildren are. Like, I'm just so
excited that that gets to belike, amongst everything. Again,
I'm also aware that it's goingto stretch me in ways that I've
never been stretched in the theall consuming nature of
parenthood is something that I'mI know that's going to be the

(01:09:35):
most challenging thing for me.
And I'm sure for many people.
But I'm also just like, I'm soexcited for those moment just
like the moments of just likepure, simple love.
The thing that like you saidbefore about like patience and I
think like patience andpresence, like create this

(01:09:58):
energy of not being in a rush toget get anywhere. I think that
that's what children love aboutus. It's like, they came over
and sat with us. And it's like,we were going to the beach. Like
we had the dog, we wanted to getto the we had, we had somewhere
to be, we were about to get out,we're literally about to get up.
And then these children is like,Oh, this is what, and I didn't
parents, like, just leavewhenever like, wow, had a good
time. Ithink that's like, I think there

(01:10:18):
is an important, you know, levelof structure to have in your
life to pay the bills and makesure there's fuel in the car and
that things happen the waythey're meant to happen. But
there's also this beautifulsurrender. And it's not like a
surrender to letting theuniverse do whatever it wants.
But it's like when somethingpresents itself and is asking,
asking you to, I guess pivot, ormaybe let this moment look a

(01:10:41):
little different than what youthought it was going to look
like, based on yourexpectations. That's when like
magical moments happen. And itmakes me sad
relationship. It's like, trustthat can we trust the truth of
the moment? Or like, what's thetruth of the moment? And I think
that's going to be somethingthat's so deeply our practice in
parenthood, it's like it thatcross stitched, yes. cross

(01:11:05):
stitched on our new brick walls.
And that, that that would belike, that is going to be such a
deep practice and like, what isthe truth at the moment? Oh, we
thought we were gonna go out andwe thought we were gonna we
thought the day was gonna looklike this or I thought I was
gonna get work done. What's thetruth of the moment? I toddlers
having a tantrum and reallyneeds our attention. Oh, you
know, our baby didn't sleep atall last night. So now, whatever

(01:11:26):
it might be the like, Yeah, I'mI'm really again, I think
there's so many things thatwe've been practicing in our own
relationship in our own lifethat will be skills that we just
anchor more deeply in on ourjourney as parenthood.
Definitely. And I'm, I'm reallyexcited to, to parent with you.
Yeah, I'mglad that we're doing it
together.

(01:11:47):
I'm so excited to see you as afather. Um, so
it's going to be a veryemotional experience. Yeah.
Okay, any final thoughts beforewe close up?
I'm just glad to be back baby.
Glad to be fucking back feelinglike this back on the podcast.
But I think you mean back on thepodcast back in the driver's
seat back in an energeticaligned state. I feel like yeah,

(01:12:09):
I feel like I have purposeagain, and that life is flowing.
And yeah, I'm ready to fuckingserve. I'm ready to do some big
fucking things. I got someincredible stuff coming up for
man. We're doing a facilitatortraining. I've got a really deep
initiatory retreat that I'mrunning for high level leaders
with a brother who's coming overfrom Peru, which is super super

(01:12:30):
exciting. be chatting to himtoday. And yeah, just serving
men deeply one on one and in mygroup programs, I'm just Yeah,
ready to fucking show men how tolead like, absolute fucking
savages.
And where can men do they justcome to you just shoot me a
message on Instagram. And I haveI'm taking on my final one on

(01:12:53):
one clients. You are the yearbefore I give birth in
September, October whenever thebaby chooses to come. Yeah, so
if you want to work with me,this will be the last one on one
clients they take for? Who knowshow long? At least six months?
Maybe nine months? Maybe? Whoknows? Maybe forever? Who knows?
Whatever. Maybe. So if you wantto work intimately with me one

(01:13:15):
on one. Shoot me a DM over onInstagram at the dark mag dot O.
And let's let's make some magictogether. Oh, thanks for making
magic with me right now.
How are ya? We're back, baby.
Thanks for being here. Beautifulones. Next week.
Big Love. Bye. Thanks. Yo, yo,yo, thank you so much for tuning

(01:13:37):
in to another episode of Sexlove and everything in between.
Now if you'd like to stayconnected with Megan i You can
head on over to Instagram andfollow me at the Jacob O'Neill
and where can people find youlover
at the dot mag dot o amazingand yeah, guys, check out the
show notes for all otherinformation in regards to what

(01:13:57):
we've got coming up. And yeah,we're super super grateful that
you guys for taking the time tolisten in to this podcast. If
you do have any topics or anyquestions, like I said, hit us
up on Instagram and we'll seewhat we can do. Apart from that
have a beautiful, beautiful restof your day.
Thanks for being here.
Big Big Love.
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