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June 5, 2024 97 mins

In this episode, Meg and Jacob share their journey of transforming their relationship through leadership and surrender. Meg opens up about moving from being fiercely independent to yearning for Jacob's leadership. She talks about how she used to take charge but eventually felt a deep desire to let Jacob lead as she connected more with her feminine side.

Jacob shares small but bold steps he took, like closing Meg’s laptop when she worked late, to shift their dynamic. They discuss how these actions helped them grow—Jacob learned to lead with confidence, and Meg learned to relax and trust, feeling more secure in his leadership and how this made her feel safe and fully claimed.

They also riff off on:

  • Meg’s initial independence and control in their relationship.
  • Her deeper longing to surrender to Jacob’s masculine power.
  • Awakening through embodiment practices and deeper intimacy.
  • Confronting control issues and believing she always knows better.
  • Jacob’s journey to step into his power and vision.
  • Importance of cultivating receptivity in the feminine.
  • Expressing discomfort openly and embracing vulnerability.
  • Jacob taking small risks to shift their dynamic.
  • Growth required for Jacob to lead confidently and Meg to relax without resistance.
  • Encouraging couples to evolve together through successes and challenges.

    And many more..

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

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Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

CLAIMED: An in-person event who wants to feel deeply claimed by their partner: https://meg-oneill.com/claimed-immersion

JOIN TGOM here --> https://www.theembodiedmaninstitute.com/tgom

Ignite Your Intimacy
: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! --->https://meg-oneill.com/ignite-your-intimacy

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meg O'Neill (00:00):
This is the piece I really want women to hear that
you can't just point the fingerat your man or Amen and say,
Bring me your leadership. Youknow you are part of that, that
equation you are a part of thatco creation. And like you said
before that receptivity, thatopenness that offering him

(00:22):
appreciation, celebrating themoments he is taking risks
honoring him, respecting him inthose ways is like, so fucking
important. And then in your ownbody mean being so devoted to
meeting the parts of you thatwant to control.

Jacob O'Neill (00:43):
Yo, yo, yo lovers, welcome. Welcome.
Welcome to sex, love andeverything in between where the
O'Neill's you're here with Megand Jacob. And

Meg O'Neill (00:52):
this is the place we have really uncensored
conversations about sex,intimacy and relationships.
We're super excited. You'rehere. Enjoy this episode.
Hi, everybody.

Jacob O'Neill (01:13):
I love us.

Meg O'Neill (01:14):
Welcome back.

Jacob O'Neill (01:15):
How are you? My love?

Meg O'Neill (01:16):
I am really good.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18):
You're looking sexy as fuck today.

Unknown (01:20):
I feel really good today. Yeah, yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (01:23):
You're beaming.

Unknown (01:24):
Thank you. You're

Jacob O'Neill (01:25):
radiant.

Unknown (01:25):
Thank you.

Jacob O'Neill (01:26):
You are nourishing my nervous system.
This your energy. Oh, this cutelittle. Well,

Meg O'Neill (01:33):
how far am I now?
I'm like five and a bit monthspregnant and I love having the
bump out. You've

Jacob O'Neill (01:39):
been Yeah, I've been really flaunting the bump.
I have

Meg O'Neill (01:43):
on the weekend, everyone. I actually bought
Jacobs jeans. And really intolike, my wardrobe is usually
just old high waisted stuff. Andvery quickly being pregnant. I
couldn't wear any of it. Yes,like any of it. And so I went
through the stage of being like,nothing fits me. But I still
want to look hot and sexy. Andthere was just it wasn't feeling

(02:07):
fun. So on the weekend, we wentto some live music and I was
wearing these low rise pantsthat have anyway. And then you
were our friends wherever andthey were like were Jacob's
jeans. It's like, okay, and yourock them. Yeah, the crush was a
little low. Yeah, that's

Jacob O'Neill (02:23):
it. That's the boyfriend fit. I

Meg O'Neill (02:24):
think I think it's the whole thing now. Yeah, so it
fell tight. Yeah, but anyway, Iwouldn't saying that because I
mean, I haven't really worndresses lately. And I put this
dress on today. And I'm like,This looks good. It looks great.
I don't think it's gonna fit mevery much longer. Not even
because of the bump. But becauseof

Jacob O'Neill (02:41):
the boobs. The Bumping boob combo. The boobs
are a bit ridiculous and you gota bit of a dump truck now as
well. Yeah, yeah. And then the

Unknown (02:54):
hips are widening. I know the

Meg O'Neill (02:56):
hips a white like my whole body is just a
different it's not just thebelly. It's like I'm assuming
because just curving in all likedifferent places that I didn't
expect you

Jacob O'Neill (03:06):
in because your body shape was so petite and
like fine. I was yeah, it didn'thave a lot. Like it wasn't super
curvy. I didn't have any at all.
It's just like this so manycurves right now. It's so
beautiful to watch your bodyevolve. It

Meg O'Neill (03:22):
is fine and to really find that like to feel
the sexiness of like yeah myhips widening and like my Yeah,
just just just this like juicy arapper figure feels really fun.
Yeah, yeah. I love it. Anyway,so I'm good. How are you?

Jacob O'Neill (03:40):
I'm good, too.
I'm pretty. I'm pretty good. I'mgot a lot on. Yeah. And yeah, I
feel how do I feel? I probablydon't ask myself that question
enough. How do I feel? I feelhow do I feel? What's the right
word for it? I feel like I'mlaying a lot of foundations

(04:05):
right now. And I'm not gettingI'm probably don't have as much
momentum in my life as I'd like.
And I feel like I'm almostspinning my wheels. But not in
like a bad way. I feel like it'sin a way that's like preparing
me for the next sort of seasonof, of growth. Yeah, I feel like
there's like a lot of incrediblethings like coming with my

(04:28):
facilitator training and Tegancoming around again, and it's
asking me to like be really,really intentional with my time.
And that's yeah, really, I'mhaving to rewrite some very,
very old programs around my timeuse of time and energy, which
has been good. It's been reallyconfronting, but I kind of knew
that this was what fatherhoodpending impending fatherhood was

(04:52):
gonna bring for me. impending,impending.

Unknown (04:56):
I only ever hear that word impending doom I

Jacob O'Neill (05:03):
felt like impending doom like, not so much
around the actual thinghappening but around me failing
at what I what I want to be.
Yes, yeah, so the impending doomis more around failure than it
is the actual thing. By

Meg O'Neill (05:16):
the time this podcast has come out, I think
the episode with you entirelywould have come out which can
you speak into that, don't

Jacob O'Neill (05:22):
you? Yeah, there's some there's some cool
stuff that I speak into aboutthat you turn

Meg O'Neill (05:25):
to a friend of Jacobs, who's also in men's work
and also is his

Jacob O'Neill (05:29):
father to be Yeah, his fiancee is like a week
ahead of us. Yeah. Ahead of yourather. Yeah. I'm not pregnant.
You I'm pregnant. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill (05:37):
we're pregnant.

Unknown (05:40):
We should do a poll to see who likes that. Is it I'm
pregnant or were pregnant.
You're pregnant.

Jacob O'Neill (05:46):
We are becoming parents. Yes, we're

Meg O'Neill (05:48):
going to be parents. We're having a baby.
But I'm pregnant.

Jacob O'Neill (05:52):
We will have a baby in our house in t minus
three months.

Unknown (05:56):
I think it's a little longer than that.

Jacob O'Neill (05:59):
T minus a little longer than three months. I've
also been sneezing a lot today,as you see so much today this
morning. I sneezed 30 times. Janwas 30. Like at least 20. It was
at least 10. You know, maybe I'mexaggerating? A lot.

Meg O'Neill (06:19):
Okay, any any other little

Jacob O'Neill (06:20):
chitchat? But she kind of wishing you didn't ask
me that question now.
Yeah, just I sort of took thatand ran with it did not do your
diary.

Meg O'Neill (06:37):
I do like to get into the podcast and talk about
what we like. What we're here totalk about. We're here to talk
about, but I also love I know, Iknow that the people love just
hearing about our lives, too.
Anything else you want to addanything else you want to bring
any updates for the peoplebefore we have this
conversation?

Jacob O'Neill (06:58):
No. Oh, wait a second, I want a 10 minute
monologue about something thathas nothing to do with today's
topic.

Meg O'Neill (07:12):
Do you want to? Do you want to share where we're
going today? We're

Jacob O'Neill (07:17):
going into the realms of would you call this
feminine surrender? Or thealmost like this? I'll call like
a deep a deep desire of of womanwithout giving too much away,
would you like to? Do you think?

Meg O'Neill (07:44):
Well, I really want to I've been having a lot of
conversations online and with mycommunity right now, around this
desire that many feminine womenexperience this desire to be
claimed and to feel their man'smasculine power and to be able
to experience the texture of hisleadership. Right. And he's,

(08:08):
he's, he's decision making, andhe's his direction and guidance.
And I wanted to have aconversation about our journey
of that. Because I'm sure lotsof people and I share many
stories of how phenomenal youare at leading and claiming Me

(08:29):
and you Are you show up as anincredibly powerful man in life,
but especially in ourrelationship. And I want to
really tell the story of how wegot to that place, because that
is how we started 10 years ago,definitely not. And that was not
the dynamic that we had. And whyI want to tell this story of why

(08:51):
I want to like give insight intothis is that I truly believe
that in relationship we canevolve. But it doesn't take just
one person. It has to be theevolution of both humans and
this devotion of both humans toshifting that dynamic. And often
that can be led by one human.
And from what I've witnessed alot of the time that is a woman

(09:11):
in a heterosexual relationship.
And this is part of feminineleadership. And I really,
anytime we talk about a womandesiring her man's leadership, I
never want anyone listening tothink that means that the
feminine doesn't lead at all orthe feminine doesn't have any
qualities of leadership. Nofucking way I actually believe

(09:34):
the feminine is the pulse of arelationship because it's her
desires, her yearning, her, herwants, that she brings forth and
actually births therelationships and leads it and
takes it to new places. And sooften it's a woman that goes,
Hey, I want something different.
Hey, I want more. Hey, let's goover here. Hey, let's evolve

(09:55):
this relationship. And that's,that's Through her leadership
that she's really, she's reallybirthing a new version of the
relationship.

Jacob O'Neill (10:06):
This is what, like in the polarity world,
people call the Oracle. Right?
Yeah, that's the feminineOracle, which is like this deep,
knowing of all that this deepyearning for more. Yeah, for
the, for the next, the nextevolution, the next growth. And
it's so, you know, this is whyso many women have a feminine
core is because they literallyoperate in a 28 day cycle that

(10:27):
constantly death and rebirth,death and rebirth. And this is
like why women I feel are soattuned to that, that that like,
deeper desire for for continualgrowth is because they're
constantly going through thatcycle themselves. And men who
don't have that, don't really,we don't have that bodily

(10:48):
function. So therefore, if wedon't create that in our lives,
we don't, we're not attuned toit. And that is why I think
being in relationship with awoman who has that gift is
really, really powerful.

Meg O'Neill (11:03):
I love that. And I've never, I've never probably
spoken into it in that way, orreflected on in that way.
Because that's so beautiful thatwith a woman bleeds, and every
single month, it's invitation tolet what is ready to die die.
And so we then hold this abilityto look out at life and honor

(11:25):
what needs to die. Right? Yeah,so that what is new can be
reborn. And that's such a giftwhen we bring that to
relationship, to be able to say,this dynamic this way we're
doing things this way we'reshowing up for each other is
ready to die. So that a new waya new dynamic, a new evolution

(11:45):
of our union can be birthed.
Yes.

Jacob O'Neill (11:50):
I love that.
Yeah. Yeah, it's literally builtinto your biology.

Meg O'Neill (11:56):
And so, yeah, I wanted to deepen into a
conversation today around howour relationship began and the
dynamic we had. And then, yeah,how we got here to a place where
I would say, we do really playthat that polarizing, you know,
game in our relationship wherewe play with the dynamics of

(12:18):
polarity where I deeply Yun foryour power, and your energetic
spanking. Right, and that, thatleadership, I yearn to melt into
you and our relationship andfeel you so deeply penetrating
me and penetrating our spacethat I have no choice but to be

(12:40):
in my body and to melt into mybody. But that has been such a
motherfucking journey. Yeah, tobe able to receive that part of
you and experience that part ofyou. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (12:50):
And that alone, like me cultivated as well.
Yeah. I think that's like, whyso much of a relationship is a
is an ongoing willingness todeepen. Yeah, for

Meg O'Neill (13:02):
sure. Yeah. Okay, where do we want to begin? At
the beginning?

Jacob O'Neill (13:09):
A long, long time ago, in a land about 120
kilometers, 100 kilometers fromwhere we live now. Brisbane
City. Inhale, Cannon Hill, reorganics. There was a man, a
young man, strapping youngfellow. Let's start with I'm

(13:33):
going to speed up. And we'regonna start Oh, can we just
start into that point where wegot to, like we got together and
you were very much like clear onwhat you wanted. I was very much
just going with the flow.

Meg O'Neill (13:45):
Yes. Sorry, which I found really sexy even looking
at if those of you haven'tlistened to our episode on
dating, which I think wasepisode 71 or 77 to 70. We took
you back to when we firststarted dating in my journal
entries for that time. And thatwas such a good episode. And it

(14:05):
remember how much I wasreflecting on I love touch
shield you? Yeah. How chilledout you are. And if we're
thinking of like, polarity andlike polarizing energies, I was
attracted to that because I wasnot that right. I was more in my
masculine energy of I know howto get shit done. I know what I

(14:27):
want in the world. Right so thatlike I used to come into the
fruit of the array organics andyou would be juggling fruit and
like, you would just so likethere was this blase energy to
you and

Jacob O'Neill (14:44):
go with a different word, but

Meg O'Neill (14:47):
where do you gonna go? Presents? That's that is
true, too. I don't want to I'mnot like shitting on you. But
there was like this part of you.
That was like really Elitechill, I would say and I'm sure
your you often reflect on thistime in your life. You didn't
have a lot of direction. Youwould you were in this like, Oh,

(15:08):
I'm just arrived to work. I goto work I come home I you know,
and that was really attractiveto me at that time. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill (15:17):
I believe that I had a level of I had a lifestyle
that was very carefree. Yeah.
And it was carefree because Ididn't have a lot of
responsibility. Yeah, when Ididn't have a lot of
responsibility. I didn't have alot of things vying for my
attention. So I could bepresent. Yeah, but that presence
was built upon a foundation ofvery little responsibility. Yes.
So you'd come in and used to bejuggling the fruit that was
because I didn't have to thinkabout anything else. Yeah, I

(15:38):
didn't have a woman at home. Ididn't have a vision that was
calling me forward. I was inthis this beautiful. Kind of in
between this limbo state in mylife where I was just coming
back to who I was before. Thevision could be anchored before
the woman could present herselfbefore all of the next steps for
my life. Were coming online andbecause you Yeah, I don't know

(16:01):
what why that attracted you. Butyeah, for me, it's like, yeah,
it was it was his blase Ness,but there was almost like, there
was this level of like, freedomthat I was experiencing. Yes.
Can I take back blase? No, youcan't. I'm gonna hold on to it
and a future argument.

Unknown (16:17):
Can I have another God?

Jacob O'Neill (16:23):
Tools? But um, yeah, I I feel that I was living
a very, I had a lot of freedomin my life, because I didn't
have a lot of responsibility.
Yeah. So that I think can bereally I think, like a man who
feels free is very attractive toa woman. Yes.

Meg O'Neill (16:43):
Yes. And I think we could deepen into a conversation
around that, but

Jacob O'Neill (16:46):
easily, yeah, yeah. But the other key piece
for me is that I was free, Ifelt very free, but I didn't
have a lot of responsibility. Somy freedom was never really
wasn't cultivated throughchallenge or adversity, or
through deepening into moreservice. It was just me being
very self serving. I work here,I make money. I eat what I want.
I look after myself, it was veryself serving, which is what I'd

(17:07):
call immature, masculine.

Meg O'Neill (17:10):
Yes. And I see this in the even we spoke to this in
that dating episode, like thespiritual kind of fuckboys
archetype. Yeah, experiences alot of freedom, but it's free of
responsibility. I don't want arelationship. I don't want
anything to tie me down. BecauseI want to be free. Yeah, but the
ultimate masculine practice, andreally what you teach is freedom

(17:34):
through responsibility, freedomthrough anchoring of vision,
through freedom through purpose.
And freedom

Jacob O'Neill (17:41):
through devotion.
Yeah. So that's the the keypiece is that a lot of men was I
guess we're speaking about thisnow. But quickly, men can
experience freedom sitting on amountaintop doing nothing.
That's easy. That's yeah, thatessentially is like, there's no
responsibility other than totake care of my being. Yeah,
then what will happen is thatthey'll either add one or the

(18:02):
other alignment add, Korea, orrelationship, and they can
normally seek freedom throughone or two of those, but very
rarely can they hold both? Yeah.
And this is where men gettripped up. They're like, fuck
should I go for my vision?
Should I go for my relationship,and they toss and turn with
those two? And that's where thewrestle comes in of, like, how
do I continually experiencefreedom, and engage with a woman

(18:23):
on a deep devotional level, andalso embrace the journey that
moving towards my vision takesme on? Yes, and sometimes I can
feel like they're pulling you intwo different directions.
Because one is like, one iscreating, like impact and the
other one is creating intimacy.
And those two things cansometimes find, they can, they

(18:46):
can sometimes feel like there'syou're holding tension in your
body, which is where like, thefreedom comes from your nervous
system, and expanding yourcapacity and your capacity. So
it's like, hey, I can hold thiswoman and her deep desires for
me to command and dominate inour, in our, in our, in our love
life. And I can also hold theattention of I have a great

(19:08):
vision to serve humanity anddeliver my my gift to the world.
And that requires my time,energy and resource and I can
give to that as well becauseI've got the nervous system for
that.

Unknown (19:19):
Yes, and go on.

Jacob O'Neill (19:23):
And I did not have that. Back when I was
juggling. my nervous system didnot have any of that capacity.
All it had capacity for waswhistling, juggling, riding a
bike to and from suburbs inBrisbane and drinking coffee and
Red Bull vodkas.

Meg O'Neill (19:40):
And also I want to acknowledge you at 24. And yeah,
this I love the work of AlisonArmstrong and I love what she
really deeply speaks into islike the different stages of a
man's life and him. He doesn'treally step into his his king
hood or his kingdom. until he'sin his 40s all. And we need to

(20:04):
be able to honor that time ittakes for a man to cultivate
that in internally, but thenalso His external kingdom,
right, his success, his, his,you know, responsibilities in
the world, all of thosedifferent things. And I think,
you know, we're going on a fewdifferent tangents here. But I
think they're important, I thinkit's really important to honor

(20:24):
this as women that we can'tclick our fingers and go be
masculine, you know, provide forv, if you're dating currently,
and you have those desires,obviously, you can be out in the
world and be be, you know,holding a standard for that. But
also, you know, honoring andoffering our partner or future
partner grace in becoming whothey here to be and stepping

(20:48):
into their power.

Jacob O'Neill (20:50):
And 100%.

Meg O'Neill (20:52):
There was one thing I wanted to add, just remember
the other Oh, lately, we've beentalking a lot about like, oh, I
said to you, if, like, I wouldwant to spend if I got to choose
to spend every single moment ofevery day with you, I would,
yeah, you were like, and Ialready knew this. We've had

(21:13):
many conversations about this.
But you're like, No, I would notchoose that. And then, and I'm
sure it's okay to share this. Wewere we were on the phone to one
of your siblings. And I askedher the question, and she's, you
know, not in this work at all.
It doesn't really, you know,know about polarity or anything
like this. And I asked, I askedher, Hey, if you and her husband

(21:35):
was there, and I said, Hey, ifyou got to spend every moment of
every day with your husband,would you? And she goes, Yeah,
of course. And he goes no way.
And I think that speaks sobeautifully, to a man's desire
for freedom, and a woman's deepyearning for love, and
relationship and connection.

(21:55):
Like women, we ache forconnection, we ache for
intimacy. And I know there'sexceptions to this. But from
what I've witnessed in men andwomen, this is really, you know,
common across the board. And Ithink as a woman, it's really
important that we honor ourman's yearning for freedom and
not take offense, not take itpersonally, not be offended by

(22:18):
it. Like when you tell me, Hey,I need space, I need to go
surfing, I need to do that. Idon't want to spend every waking
hour with you. Because I'm onmission. And I I want to go
serve and fill my cup in otherways. Like, I understand that.
That's, I understand we'redifferent. I understand we're
deeply different. Sometimes Istruggle, but I um, but I

(22:43):
understand that. Right. And Ithink that's just a really
important piece to bring intothe conversation.

Jacob O'Neill (22:48):
Yeah, very important piece.

Unknown (22:52):
Do you want to add anything to that? No. Okay. Well
said, Okay, so, Ray organics,you were juggling fruit. And I,

Meg O'Neill (23:03):
I was really attracted to that, like, yeah,
freedom, and that that, youknow, chilled out energy. And at
that time, I was very much inthis like, would you say like an
Olden. I don't know if it wasUltra independent. But it was
very much like, I don't needyou. I don't need a man. I
didn't even what like, and itwas very much like, I'll be a

(23:24):
whole human and you'd be a wholehuman and we come together as
whole humans.

Jacob O'Neill (23:28):
Yeah, there wasn't a very there wasn't any
neediness or insecurity or like,they're from you, you were quite
what I felt. And when I reflecton at the early stages, it was
like, there wasn't like, anypressure from you, for me to be
a certain way. There wasn't anykind of I need you to be this
and there wasn't any gripping.
Even though you deeply desirethat you were very clean in the

(23:52):
way that you brought that Yeah,I think that's like a testament
to you. And you, you do saythat, you know, that was your
puppy dog spiritual era, but Istill think that that was I
think that was a really powerfultime for you in in creating what
you wanted. And I felt likethat's what kind of confused me
and why I didn't not why didn'tbut I wasn't aware of it. I
wasn't very good at dating, butI you know, you didn't seem to

(24:15):
have any neediness. So for me,as a as a people pleaser, it was
like, Well, what do i You don'tneed anything. I said, why? You
know, what do I got to give youI don't have any value? That was
my perspective on it. Yes. Whichthen kind of feeds into my you
know, you you were independent.
You were you didn't have a yousort of separate it. You hadn't

(24:39):
separated from your old sort offriend group that you were
choosing to walk a new pathwhich has you severing sort of
your ties to the old communityand starting to walk this new
path and connect with newpeople. And yeah, there's a
there's a level of independencethat you need to cultivate to be
able to do that and courage. And

Meg O'Neill (24:59):
I think because we can He knew to like, once we got
together, I was very much like,I know what I want. You come
along for the ride here, let's

Jacob O'Neill (25:08):
go do that here.
This is where we're going.

Meg O'Neill (25:10):
I was leading, I was making decisions, hey, come
to yoga with me, hey, this iswhat I love come and do it with
me. I was making a lot of thedecisions in our relationship.
And you were very much like,okay, like you were very go with
the flow. Okay, I'll go and dothis class with you. Okay, I'll
go to yoga with you. Okay,we'll, you know,

Unknown (25:30):
go and do whatever we were doing.

Jacob O'Neill (25:32):
And that's, like, that's a pattern that I've had
my whole life. Yeah, it's notjust all of a sudden that I was
with you, that was somethingthat I'd always done. I'd always
just if someone is, you know, Iused to use the excuse, like,
I'm happy doing whatever I'lldo. Like I can, I can have fun
doing anything. And I can. Butthat also doesn't mean that I
ever really deepen into anything of my real desires. That

(25:53):
means I'm always just skimmingoff the surface. So yeah, for
me, that was just like the waythat I thought, relationships
work. The other person said whatthey wanted to do, and I agreed
to

Meg O'Neill (26:02):
it. Yes. And I got it worked for us, but what like,
three, maybe even four years?

Jacob O'Neill (26:09):
Yeah, it really worked. Because you were in a
very, you Dunston enough sort ofself discovery work, personal
development, whatever we want tocall it and you realized where
you wanted to go? And I hadn't?
I definitely had not. Yeah, butyou were fun. You're exciting.
And you had a direction. So Iwas like, Cool. Let me like the,

(26:31):
you know, even though I didreally fucking like you, there's
still that part of me that,that, you know, that was just
still responding to Okay. Yep.
Yep, yep. Okay, this is myprogramming. Yep, I'll do
whatever you want to do. Yep, wedo yoga. Yep. Okay, we go and do
this. Yes. Okay, we do this.

Meg O'Neill (26:50):
And even at the time, like I was in a network
marketing business, and it wasmy dream to have you quit your
job. Yeah. And join me. Yes. Andthat was like, I want to, and
that was very much the kind ofculture of the network
marketing, it's like, retireyour husband or retire upon it.
And that was my dream, it waslike, you won't have to work,

(27:11):
you can just follow me around,you can just be in my business,
you can just do what I want youto do.

Jacob O'Neill (27:18):
My little, my little, sort of version of you
have a very specific place thatfits within my reality.

Meg O'Neill (27:27):
And yes, and I think that is, even though you
said it wasn't pressuring you tobe something there was like,
because you didn't have a lot ofdirection. At that time, it
worked really well for me to belike, This is what I want you to
be, I want you to come to yogawith me, I want you to I want
you to quit your job and andjoin my business and all of
these things happened. And thenit got to a stage probably four

(27:51):
years into our relationship. Ithink I read the book, intimate
communion by David data. Andthen I was also on this journey
through, you know, our plantmedicine work and some other
work that I was beginning thisdescent into my, into my body
into my pussy into the depth ofmy feminine. So I was no longer

(28:12):
just operating from this, likeshoulders up spirituality I was,
I was becoming an embodiedwoman. And as I became this
embodied woman, I began to feelthese new desires unfurl, or
these new desires come to thesurface that I hadn't yet
connected with. And it was thesedesires around all, I don't want

(28:37):
you to just fit into this lifeI've created for us, I don't
want you to be almost like thispuppet. I'm like, Hey, quit your
job, hey, come over here and dothis thing. I, I was discovering
this part of me that wanted tobe led and wanting wanted to
melt into you and want to bewanting to be dominated by you.

(28:58):
And wanted to wanted to be sodeeply claimed. And didn't want
to be this like I'm independent.
I'll show us where to go. Well,I'm, I'm kind of like, follow
me. I realized, oh, that doesn'tactually, that isn't actually
feeding the depth of what I wantout of a relationship.

Jacob O'Neill (29:22):
Though, which is like, for me, what I'm taking
from what you've just shared isthe whole concept of like, you
weren't exhausted. You weren'tlike I'm just sick of making
decisions. I'm exhausted. I'mdone. Because more you had had
an experience with likedeepening into a desire rather
than being exhausted by playinga role that didn't suit you.

Meg O'Neill (29:41):
It completely.
Yeah, it wasn't I'd never hadresentment for you. And no, I
don't I don't think I ever heldresentment for you in this in
this way. But there was thislike, Ah, I think I'm a woman
that wants this. I never knew Iwanted this. I never knew I
wanted to be You ravished andclaimed and to feel you're like,
like, penetrating me with yourmasculine power. This, this was

(30:07):
like a new experience for me toeven, to even like contemplate
or like feel that desire comingalive in me. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (30:16):
Which, once again, when I speak about your
cleanliness when it comes tocommunication, like it's one of
your your like superpowers isthat the desire awoke within
your body and you came andbrought it to me. Yeah, yeah.
And you did it in a pretty, Iwould say a very clean way.
Whereas I feel like, asInstagram reels have popped off,
and everyone's got, you know,all of these really, really

(30:40):
buzzword he kind of takes onpolarity and different things, I
feel like women can start tolike, sort of, sort of chip legs
just to chip away at Oh, that'sa desire, yeah, that's what I
want. But then there's like thisfrustration and, and not knowing
how to actually cleanly bringthat, and how to actually, like,
invoke that in demand. Whereas Ifeel like because we were both

(31:02):
willing, we were able to deepeninto it. And I think that's one
of the biggest challenges that Isee is like people like get this
new information, but then theydon't know how to actually like,
shift from this dynamic to thisother dynamic. And for men,
especially if you're like me,where a lot of your self worth
is tied up in the validation youreceive for doing things for

(31:23):
others. Now, you're all of asudden saying, you don't want me
to do that. And I have to nowlead and do the complete
opposite. And that's gonna makeyou feel even better than what
I've been to already been doing.
Oh, shit. Okay, that's, that's,that's news to me. And I
remember reading into mycommunion as well. And being
like, Holy fuck. There's thiswhole other way of relating that

(31:45):
I have not tapped into, tappedinto yet.

Meg O'Neill (31:51):
Did reading that book excite you? Like, I
remember reading that or likebeing introduced to, like you
said, another way of relatingand feeling like, my body
responded being like, I wantthat. Wow. Like, I didn't even
realize I wanted that. But I Iwant to taste that I want to
feel that was Was that somethingyou? I

Jacob O'Neill (32:12):
don't think that's my default. I think that
like my default is to feel shamearound the fact that I didn't
already know that. And thenyeah, I feel you're so good.
Like when I see you, like,you'll like absorb new
information. Oh, my God, howexciting. And I'll absorb it and
I'll go, Fuck, I've been doingit wrong for so long. Okay, I'll
look like fuck. And I'llinstantly go into judgment on

(32:33):
how I've been showing up. Likefor me, when I read that I kind
of wrote off the first fouryears of our relationship as me
not being good enough.

Unknown (32:41):
And I think that speaks so beautifully into

Meg O'Neill (32:45):
what we often talk about, like, one of the biggest
wins for a woman is I'm toomuch, especially in
relationship. And for a man,it's I'm not good enough. And I
think this is why I really wantto bring this conversation
forth. Because as a woman comesinto feeling this desire, maybe
it's for the first time orcoming, coming into connection

(33:07):
with this desire to be ravishedto be claimed to feel, you know,
her man's masculine power. It isso important we offer this or
bring this in a way where whennot when not communicating to
women, you're not enough, youhaven't been enough. Right? This
it's important, we bring a levelof sensitivity. Because when a

(33:31):
man feels small or criticized orthat he isn't enough, that's not
the place he is going to risefrom, will be able to serve you
most deeply from

Jacob O'Neill (33:42):
No, definitely not. That's the way that I look
at that is like you can eitherrule with by fear or rule by
love, like, lead with fear orlead with love. And if you're
leading with fear, you're onlygoing to create more separation,
you might get what you want. Butyou're still going to be
leading, you're still going tobe like, you're still going to

(34:02):
be in control. You haven'tinvoked and started to dance
with the other person you'vebeen like, this is how you need
to act for me to be able tosurrender to you. So go and do
these five things. And then awaywe go. So he goes in, he books
the weekend away, he sends youthe text, he buys the dress, he
brings the flowers. And when youhop in the car, there's this
numbness, because you have saidthat he needs to do this. So

(34:26):
he's just jumping through hoops.
He's once again, doing as he'stold, and it's completely
derailed. And the formula thatyou thought was going to fix and
deepen and solve all of yourintimacy problems, has just
perpetuated a deeper level ofdisconnection between you. Yes,
and created more. Moreresentment between the two of
you so

Unknown (34:48):
Oh, my God, everything you just said.

Jacob O'Neill (34:51):
Surprise, surprise. It's not just the
formula. It's how Yes, yourelate. It's the energy and the
way that you bring it and moveit between the two. To people
which is my favorite thing totalk about all the other stuff
is just loving the energetics ofit erotic blueprint energetic

(35:12):
Hey, yeah,

Unknown (35:13):
I need a pee

Jacob O'Neill (35:15):
peg through

Unknown (35:17):
I know that I'm pregnant.

Jacob O'Neill (35:21):
Okay, where are we up to? We're up to

Meg O'Neill (35:24):
the energetic Ivor we're gonna dive in. I've got a
question I want to ask you. I'mgonna go pizza okay
my love if you are a woman thatdeeply desires to be claimed,
cherished, chosen ravished inpartnership. Whether you are

(35:48):
currently in partnership or not.
You are going to want to join mehere on the Gold Coast in July.
I am holding an in personimmersion for three entire days,
three entire days devoted tobreathing down the walls of your
heart, opening your bodyliberating your expression and

(36:08):
becoming a woman able to beclaimed cherished and chosen in
partnership. I have not run anin person event or a women only
event in a very long time andgiven the baby I'm about to have
I will not for a while afterthis. So this is a very special
opportunity to come and workwith me in person with a very

(36:30):
intimate amount of women we aregoing to go deep it is going to
be an unforgettable three daysand if you are feeling the call
to join us come and apply ASAPthere's limited spaces, you're
going to want to go to the linkin the show notes or mag dash
O'Neil dot com forward slashclaimed dash immersion or just

(36:51):
head to my Instagram, all theinformation is there. I can't
wait to be with you. We're back.

Jacob O'Neill (37:02):
We're back. I've paid you've paid How are you
feeling? Good. Feeling nimblefeeling I can't

Unknown (37:08):
concentrate on I need to be shot. You

Jacob O'Neill (37:11):
know, why not?
Too much pressure.

Unknown (37:14):
Yeah, but that was for

Jacob O'Neill (37:18):
you guys pregnancy is an excuse for the
day.

Unknown (37:20):
Um,

Jacob O'Neill (37:20):
you want to ask a question.

Meg O'Neill (37:22):
I want to I kind of want to circle back to I want to
dive into the energetics and theway you just said like the
formula piece. Yeah. But firstof all, I want to ask, what like
I know when you said you read,you know, intimate communion.
And you were like, I've, I wantto write off the first four
years like I was almost doing itwrong, or wasn't enough. Yeah.
Was there ever a point because Iwant to get into the stage of

(37:43):
our relationship where I startedto bring this desire. And we
started to shift the dynamic ofour relationship because it
wasn't as if we clicked ourfingers and you were organizing
things and and, you know, one ofthe greatest things, one of the
things you're the greatest at inour relationship now is when I'm

(38:03):
in chaos, or when I am like, youcan feel I'm like yearning for
containment, or yearning todeeply melt is you know when to
step in. And you know, I call itlike you energetically spank me,
or you energetically like,grabbed me by the throat. Yes.
And that's like, so fuckingsexy. But that's been something

(38:25):
that you've refined. And you'veit's taken time for you to step
into that. So I really want toget into the conversation around
like, what was what unfolded inour relationship to move us to
the place we're at now. But myquestion right now is Was there
ever a point where what Ibrought made you feel not enough

Jacob O'Neill (38:52):
I don't think what you brought made me feel
that way. I think that theawareness once I'd gotten this
new, this new information aroundsexual polarity around the
energetics around the differentstyles of relating once I'd
gotten that information, I waslike, fuck, I've been flying
blind my whole life. And in thatthere was a feeling of like, I

(39:15):
should have known this. Whydidn't I know this already?
There was always a part of me.
And once again, this is mychildhood. Was this like, I
should know better? Yeah, Ishould always know better. Like,
I'm the I'm the eldest child.
I'm the one that should shouldknow better. You should be you
shouldn't. Yeah, there was somuch short in my life that I now

(39:37):
see. I see things through thelens of sight, you know, rather
than like, Oh, this is a greatopportunity. I see it as why
haven't I already done this? Whyam I so far behind? So that is
my own shit. Yeah. And I wouldsay that when I do alchemize
that I then see it as anopportunity to do better. Yeah,

(39:58):
rather than I never want to bewho I was. Because that's me
rejecting my old self. So it'smore around like, Ah, now like,
we like one side, when once I'dread into making me and got all
the way through it, I rememberjust being like, Ah, this, this
all makes so much sense. Andbecause I'm so hyper vigilant

(40:21):
and aware of things, like I wasable to, like, start to
understand how to move in ourrelationship with a whole lot
more nuanced probably is theworld where I was like, a
cooler, I know, I know how to,and start off with pretty basic
stuff, but it was like, oh,cool, alright, you know, you've,

(40:43):
you've worked all day, and it'slike, I'm not gonna let you
like, just keep staying in thatI was like, Okay, I'll run the
bath or make the dinner I'll Iwill create a container for you
to stop, you know, to melt into.

Meg O'Neill (40:55):
I remember one of the things you first started to
do was you would come into myoffice and go, or you would say,
your finishing work and like 10minutes, yeah, especially
because at that time, I wouldwork, I had a tendency to work
late into the night or justlike, work, work, work, work,
work. And you would be like,you're finishing in in 10
minutes, and then I'm runningyour bath. And then you'd come

(41:17):
in, and you'd literally close mylaptop. Yes. And there was, you
know, the part of me and I'llget into more of this later, but
the part of me that wanted tojust like know, oh, my god, no.
But then also underneath thatwas the part of me that was
like, oh, like, yes. Yeah,energetically dominate me. So
tell me what to do. Let me justlike melt.

Jacob O'Neill (41:42):
Yeah, I think there was like, you know, that
that sort of beginning of like,repolarizing, our relationship
was around. Yeah, very simple,very structured. Action. Yeah,
I'm being like, fuck it. Let'ssee how this goes. And

Meg O'Neill (41:59):
you were I want to really honor you for taking
risks. And I think this is abig, I speak about this so much
with my women inside fullspectrum woman that when we're
stepping more into our feminine,and we're wanting to offer that
into our partnership, itrequires us to take risk. Right,

(42:20):
take risks. So if you want tobring your eroticism in a way
that you've never done itbefore, you're gonna feel
fucking nervous, or it's youdon't know how your partner is
going to react or what responsethey're going to have to a new
part of you. Or if you bring,you know, if you play with like
bringing your jealous bitch, orlike the part of you that
tantrums or the part of youthat's like, I want to spend

(42:43):
every moment of every day withyou. Instead of being like, oh,
yeah, whatever, I don't needyou. Like, when you bring these
new parts of yourself to yourman, it's risky as fuck, because
you've never done it before. Andyou do not know what's going to
happen. And I just, I rememberthat and, like, so deeply honor
that, in that season of ourrelationship is you were so

(43:07):
willing to get it wrong, or tofuck it up. You were so willing
to lean in and be like, I'mgonna walk in and I'm gonna
close my laptop, and she mightkick and scream, and she might
she might get angry. Or shemight melt into a puddle of deep
feminine meter opening andsurrender. I don't know. But I'm
gonna go in and I'm going to,I'm going to, I'm going to try.

(43:29):
I'm going to take a risk. Andthat was a bold Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (43:34):
Well, it was it was either, you know, this is
the new level of awareness. Andif I don't take this action,
then I'm denying what I now knowto be true. Yeah, going against
what you know what life isasking of me. Yeah. So
regardless of whether Yeah,that's that's the way that I saw
it. It's like well, what Yeah,rather than rather than be like,

(43:58):
you know, what if this sort ofthis foot What if I fuck up it
was more about what if this isthe actual way? What if this
this is the way they would ifthis is the next step? And
that's what I you know, thatbecame a bit of my March like,
the next step is the next step.
Yeah, God, listen, whether Isucceed or fail, the next step
is the next step.

Meg O'Neill (44:16):
And this is something that I've you know,
been in this is like the depthof my practice in relationship.
But also something I amconsistently reminding women of
who desire more from their manor like desire, you know, more
of this leadership quality isyou must offer him grace. Yes,

(44:37):
right. I even told that storythe other day of like, Oh, you
must be aware that he's notalways gonna get it right. If
you want your man to lead, he'snot always going to make
decisions that feel amazing foryou. are right in the moment,
like the other day, you took meto breakfast, and it was so
sexy. I was on the phone to mymom, and you just like leant

(45:00):
over and mouth to meet us. And Iwas like, Yes. Like, I just love
that I'm not even going to lookat a menu. I just get like food
brought to me. Yes. And then thefood came out and he'd ordered
me tomato soup.

Jacob O'Neill (45:16):
I remember the gluten free bread did not that

Meg O'Neill (45:18):
it was our first meal of the day, but it was like
a one o'clock. So they didn'thave a breakfast menu anymore.
But I was expecting like eggs orI don't know. And then it came
out with tomato soup. And therewas a part of me that back in
the day, maybe when we werefirst playing with these
dynamics that would haveprojected this energy of like,
You're wrong. Like how the fuckdid Why the fuck did you order

(45:41):
me tomato soup. You fucked thatup. And you I couldn't trust
you. I'll just go and ordersomething. And it might not have
been those words. But that wouldhave been the energetic
underneath my body language. Mylike huffing and puffing or
whatever it would have been.
Yeah. And instead last week, orwhenever this was when this
happened. Like, I just felt thecontraction. And I felt the part

(46:05):
of me that didn't want thetomato soup. And I I let you
feel that I didn't make youwrong. I didn't blame you. I
just let you witness the part ofme that was disappointed. I
don't want this. And immediatelyalso it because I wasn't making
you wrong, or I wasn't havingthis energy of like, I knew you

(46:27):
wouldn't get it right. There wasyou you don't know how to lead
me. You don't know how to makethe right decisions. You fucked
this up because I wasn'tbringing that to the space. It
actually offered you anopportunity to even lead me and
hold me in an even greater way.
Because I was like, you werelike, what's on my love. I know

(46:49):
something's up and I was like, Idon't want. Like, I really don't
feel like the suit. And you justsaid, That's okay. I'll eat it.
He's my cod. Go inside, look atthe menu and order whatever you
want. And I was like, Are yousure? There was part of me? That
was like, no, no, I don't know.
Like, I'm

Jacob O'Neill (47:10):
gonna be a good guy. I'm gonna eat this tomato.
You were never gonna eat it. Iwasn't.

Meg O'Neill (47:15):
But there was part of me that was still like, but
but and you said, No. And thisis where you energetically
spanked me? You said? No, no,you said, Ah.

Jacob O'Neill (47:26):
Did you like that?

Meg O'Neill (47:30):
Maybe not like that. But you did something you
were like, kind of like,

Jacob O'Neill (47:34):
just go inside now, or what you want. And

Meg O'Neill (47:36):
you said you can either make a thing of this? Or
you can go inside or do what youwant. We can continue how you
can great day. What are yougoing to choose? Oh, okay.
Obviously gonna go inside all wewant and not make a thing of
this. And it was so fuckingsexy. And I just really want to
speak into this because this isour practice as the feminine.

(48:00):
It's realizing that upon itisn't always going to get it
right. And our disappointment iswelcome in the space. The part
of us that's like, oh, like,this isn't it is welcome in the
space, but not from a place ofprojection or making him wrong.

Jacob O'Neill (48:17):
You get to feel your disappointment. But you
don't get to project that ontoyour partner as a judgment. Yes,
of his action. So it's like,yeah, I did order the tomato
soup fact, you feel disappointedbecause it's not what you want.
Fact. That doesn't mean that youneed to project that
disappointment onto me to saythat, hey, you're wrong. But you
can feel that disappointment. Ican read the disappointment in

(48:40):
the way that you express. Like,ah, what's up my love. And then
you can say, hey, I don't reallyfeel like tomato soup. Cool. And
then I get to make a decision onwhether or not I take that
personally. And

Unknown (48:50):
that yeah, I'm like, fuck it. It's

Jacob O'Neill (48:54):
tomato soup. And then I was like, then you should
Oh, yeah, having coffee. Okay.
Yep. It's first Mother's Day.
Yeah, tomato soup probablywasn't the best. But you know
what, I made a call and the hub.
I'm gonna it's on the table,I'll eat it. But I then had to
make the decision of whether Iget to like, stand my ground
like, Okay, well then if youdon't want to eat it, I'll eat
it. But I'm not gonna you know,you're just gonna have to get
hungry. Like I didn't have to bean asshole about I got to like

(49:15):
reengage at a deeper with adeeper level of, I guess,
direction and be like, Okay,well then if this isn't, if
we're not going here, well, thenwe're going here. And if you
want to make this mean somethingand turn this into a big thing
you can or you can go and getwhat you want. Right now we can
continue on with this day. Sosexy. It's like, yeah, I get to

(49:35):
give you not an ultimatum. But Iget to put you into a position
where like this is you know, youcan choose to turn this into
something that it doesn't needto be. And I'm going to, I'll go
there with you if you want to ifyou want to if you want to
tussle but I feel that there's abetter option here which is go
and get the food that you want.
Come back, sit down and we'regoing to continue having a great
day. And

Meg O'Neill (49:56):
I also want to honor that that takes a lot to
not take that pill I suddenlyeven when a woman isn't
projecting blame, but when awoman when you've taken a risk
in relationship, when you've toany you've done this so many
fucking times in ourrelationship where it hasn't
landed my last birthday. When wewent fucking kayaking did not

(50:16):
land and I and you it was asurprise we worked out I didn't
know where we're going. We wokeme up so early. And then I was I
felt we got I got wet in thekayak immediately. And then I
felt seasick the. And like, Iwasn't gonna hide that I wasn't
enjoying the experience. I wasjust showing you I was and I
also wasn't like, Fuck youfucked up. How dare you are all

(50:40):
my birthday? Like it was justlike, I'm cold and I'm sick
right now and I'm disappointed.
And you? What do you mean? Oh,CeCe got seasick? Yeah, no, I
was just like, I literallywanted to throw up in the kayak.
But you huge shows instead of tobecome small and almost be like,
fuck you. I tried and I took arisk and you're not

(51:02):
appreciative. Yeah, you held andyou continue to stay in your
leadership, you continue to stayin your power of, okay, I took a
risk, this hasn't gone down. ButI'm gonna continue to lead this
moment. And so when we got outof the car, when we got out of
the kayak, you we went in thecar and you like, put my

(51:22):
favorite country song on and Istarted crying and you were
like, we're gonna have you like,that's, this isn't the end of
today, we're gonna have anincredible day, it kind of
again, you're kind of likeleading the moment of, hey, I
understand that this momentdidn't work out. And I've still
got you, and we're gonna go tobayleaf we're gonna have an
incredible breakfast, then I'mgoing to take you to get a

(51:43):
massage, then I'm going to dothis. Like he was still you
didn't drop me because I didn'trespond in the way that like of
like, oh my God, thank you, thisis the best moment of my life.
And often when you you know,that a lot of the time that is
my reaction, deep appreciationand a lot of the things you you
lead on do land, but that thereality is that's not life. No,

(52:04):
that is not life. And ifanyone's expecting to be able to
take these dynamics of likepolarity, and to go to their
partner, you know, be moremasculine, and think that
they're going to lead and get itright in every single moment.
And you're never going to feeldisappointed again. Like, that's
not reality, that's not life.

(52:26):
And part of playing with thesedynamics is playing in the
gritty messy moments too, andcontinuing to hold as a woman
continuing like, for me mypractice in the tomato soup
experience, or the birthdayexperience was, Can I continue
to open to this instead ofclosing my heart and blocking
him out? Or withholding? Can Icontinue to reveal what's alive

(52:49):
for me? Can I continue to open?
Can I continue to trust him? Andthen the depth of your practice
was can I continue to hold? CanI continue to lead?

Jacob O'Neill (52:58):
Totally. And if you expect your partner to
perfectly legal perfectly submitto you, then you've got a
control issue. And your nervoussystem is needs needs needs some
work? That's essentially it,like the way that I see it is
that for a woman who needs herpartner to lead perfectly in the
way that she needs him to? Yeah,you're still you're still trying

(53:21):
to control yes. If you if, like,if he orders a tomato soup, and
you like, See, I fucking knewit, he has no fucking clue who I
am. versus actuallyacknowledging the action step of
leadership versus the outcome ofwhat you needed that leadership,
action to be. You're stilltrying to control and lead your

(53:44):
relationship, you're stilltrying to, you know, be in the
seat of awareness and notletting yourself you know,
you're not actively practicingbeing with your partner's
leadership.

Meg O'Neill (53:56):
And I want to speak into why many women desire them
and leadership because what itmakes possible for a woman Yes,
and I'll speak from my ownexperience, I love when you lead
and and offer me experienceslike I'm going to order for you,
I have a surprise for you. I'mnot I've organized the day, I'm
not going to, you know, yeah,I'm not going to tell you what

(54:17):
it is, or come in and close thelaptop, all of those things,
please me or contain me orcreate a container where I can
melt into my body, where it's aninvitation for me not to be in
my head, not to have to holdconsciousness of the situation,
not to have to be, you know,vigilant of what's going on. But

(54:39):
I get to rest deeply into intothe container you create for me,
which is an incrediblypleasurable experience. Once
I've moved past my, you know,patterns of control and the
parts of me that want to controland make sure you're doing it
right and think I knew better.
Underneath that is the part ofme that just wants to melt into
it. My body and melt into thislike container, right and you've

(55:02):
created that container. And so Ijust wanted to get clear on that
when when we're talking aboutthat, like control piece that
can often come up for womenunderneath the pattern of I know
best and I'm going to try andcontrol you and you should do it
this way. And I know better isactually underneath that is

(55:25):
often the part of us that sodeeply wants to release the
fucking control. Because we wantto taste the depth and oceans of
surrender that is made possiblewhen we truly relinquish control
and allow ourselves to melt intothe container that our partner
is creating for us. Yes, likethat is that is the doorway to
this and this is a spiritualexperience. Like I this is a

(55:47):
spiritual practice. This isfeminine spiritual practice.
It's can we surrender into lifeitself into God into the
container that life is creatingfor us? And our relationship
becomes like a microcosm ofthat.

Jacob O'Neill (56:03):
Yes. Fucking love that. My love. What do you feel?
Can I ask a quick question? Ijust want to like sort of circle
back. Why do you say say there'sa woman listening to this? And
she's like, fuck yeah, I want tobe ravished Fuck yeah, I want
to, I want to feel thatcontainment for a man's
masculine field of awareness,his consciousness, whatever it
may be, she was a bit MissIndependent, like you were in

(56:25):
like, very comfortable with herdirection vision and what she
wants and knows how to get it,so to speak. But then this
deeper desire to be ravished isunlocked or activated from
whatever, for whatever reason,whether it's reading a book,
listening to a podcast, having asexual awakening, whatever it
is, many different ways lead tothis this point for women. What

(56:48):
are some of the things that youfeel women struggle with? When
they make get met with this?
Like, yeah, so like, we've beensaying, you know, a woman can be
like, Okay, now you have toleave me in this way to do this
thing at this time, and can kindof like put all of the can still
be playing a little bit of like,all conductor of the orchestra
that want the man to be incontrol, but in the way that

(57:09):
they want it. So what are someof the ways that you see women
struggle, like they still sit inthat seat of I want to be in
control, but I want to be led?
What do you feel is like some ofthe things there? Well, it's,

Meg O'Neill (57:21):
that's the piece, it's the control piece, which,
obviously, I actually do notknow, a woman that doesn't have,
you know, this embodied patternof control. And of course, we
do, it's a protective mechanism.
Yeah. And this not only shows upin relationship, but it shows up
without a larger relationshipwith life or a larger
relationship with spirit. Andagain, this is why I feel this

(57:43):
is like the depth of femininepractice. And, you know, men
also have a feminine energy. Sothis, this is a practice, you
know, they can practice you inrelationship to life. But it's,
it's this practice ofrelinquishing the part of us or
melting down the walls we havethat tell us that we need to

(58:04):
control the outcome, we need tocontrol and create certainty so
that we are safe. Right. And youknow, like, like you said, then
so often when a woman is firstmeeting this part of her that

(58:27):
what I want to be claimed, Iwant to feel his leadership,
what I see is the part of herthat then is trying to control
how that unfolds, control how hedoes that, the part of her that
says, I know better. If you havea part of you that says I know
better, and you're bringing thatand allowing that to be at the
forefront of your relationship,you will never experience the

(58:49):
leadership and the claim. Andthe ravish meant that the deeper
part of you is yearning for anintegral necessary part of being
a woman that's able to receivehis leadership, receive His
power receive His claim, isdoing the work to meet the parts
of you that feel the need tocontrol feel the need to know

(59:11):
better and to tell him what todo. And that's confronting as
fuck, I've had many moments ofthat in our relationship. Where,
you know, I've asked you, hey, Idesire I brought my desire forth
with an open heart of like, Iwant you to plan special days
for me, so I don't have to thinkabout and I can just melt and

(59:32):
then you do that. And I've beencritical. Or I've been like, why
didn't you do this? Or why arewe leaving at this time? Or
there's part of me that istrying to fight you for the
lead. That's that's like,wanting, I've asked for
something and then once I'veasked for it, it's almost like
no, I don't trust you to to leadme right now. I'm still trying

(59:54):
to fight to control. I'm tryingto find the incredible eyes
where you haven't gotten itright. So I can use that as an
excuse to be like, Ah, see, Ican't trust him and I can go
back into the familiar seat ofhaving control again, and
knowing better. So just to kindof summarize that it's this

(01:00:15):
familiarity with this patternand have I know best and I want
to control. Yeah, that's my andI just also want to honor that's
huge. That is such a practice tobreathe down those walls. And
it's also what we deeply crave.
As women, it's like the ultimatething we crave. We want to be

(01:00:37):
fucked out of our heads. Right?
I wrote this thing this week onInstagram, because a lot of the
women I work with and a lot ofthe women listening to this
would be entrepreneurs would belike women out there, in
business making things happen.
And there is a deep yearningwithin these women I know within
me to come into the containerout of our relationship and

(01:00:59):
literally have the boss babefucked out of us. The part of us
that has to make all thedecisions the part of us that's
like, I know how to get shitdone. And I know how to
strategize. And I know how tolike lead. Yes, that's a
powerful part of a woman. AndI'm not saying don't be that I
am that in a huge portion of mylife. But I don't necessarily

(01:01:19):
want to be that in ourrelationship. And we really want
to come into our relationshipand have that part of me,
dominated and fucked all the wayout of me. And again, that takes
being willing to relinquishcontrol.

Jacob O'Neill (01:01:38):
Thank you for sharing that my love the piece
that I'm taking from this andwhat I because I get a lot of
messages from women, they'relike, Why can't Well, like I
want my man to just like, I wantlike, I want like, what do you
have with me I want you to do Iwant my man. And I'm like, like,
stop focusing on what I'm doingand start witnessing the way
that mega shifting from controlto receptivity. Yeah, this is a

(01:02:01):
piece so I know you want tospeak, I'm going to continue to
speak for a moment. What I canbe, I can take the lead, no
matter what, like I can go on Ican make all the decisions, make
all the money, do all the thingsand do everything right by the
book, as per intimate communion.
However, if you are notpracticing receptivity, if you
are not relinquishing controland practicing receptivity, I

(01:02:25):
will only ever be met withresistance, I'll only be met
with expectation I'll only bemet with bots and shoulds and
noes and IFS from you becauseyou are not. And there is a
tussle and we've got to honorthe tussle of course, but if
that is your your, if that'swhere you take your standard,

(01:02:49):
like, I'm not relinquishingcontrol, he has to do with this
this way, this way, this way,this way, this way. And any
thing that he does that isunknown to me is actually not
okay, yeah, then you are notpracticing receptivity, you're
not practicing trust, you're nothaving faith in the the actual
energetic exchange that's goingon in your relationship. So, for

(01:03:12):
me, one of the greatest thingsthat a woman can do in regards
to that desire is to make themknown, hey, I want to feel your
leadership, I want to feel yourdirection, I feel your power and
assertiveness in ourrelationship. You don't then set
it a task list. You can sharewhat how you would like to know
I want to be taken out, I wantto be spoiled, I want to be I

(01:03:34):
want to be celebrated. I want tobe like I want to be on display
I want to be I want people toknow that I'm your woman, happy
days, but then you sit back intothe seat of receptivity. And you
practice invoking that throughbeing in that energy Yang in
that sort of, you know,surrendering to life moving
through you and drawing hisleadership out of him rather

(01:03:54):
than demanding it be shown inthis specific way to create this
specific outcome. So you couldhave the feeling that the book
says you need to have to be inyour feminine. So the piece that
I'm really picking up on forwomen that you're speaking to,
is to me it sounds likereceptivity is the real key
piece here.

Meg O'Neill (01:04:14):
Completely and I love that you said you could do
all the right things but ifyou're if for example, I'm not
open to that, and receptive ofthat I'm never going to you can
have the most masculine man youknow, masculine man, and not
actually be able to receive thatlike you and I really want women

(01:04:36):
to hear that that you are theliving invitation. You must be
the living embodiment to be ableto receive that. No you cannot
just point your finger at yourman and say step up be more
masculine lead me take me on adate send me a text that says Be
ready at seven and wear thedress like he could do all of
that

Jacob O'Neill (01:04:56):
said the copy for easy. Here is the text see
sequence copy that you will besending me over the next two
weeks to reinstate polarity. Andfor me to be in my feminine
surrender. warmest regardsyourself surrendered. Deeply
embodied. Oozing, radiant,feminine. divine goddess lover.

Unknown (01:05:20):
And was I don't remember
Yeah, I don't remember where Iwas going. But yeah, that's my
mind is empty.

Meg O'Neill (01:05:41):
Yeah, yeah, you can't. And something I also was
was speaking on social media inthe last week or so is that. And
I've said this many times beforethat it is such an IK it is when
a man says to a woman and I hatewhen I see this in the polarity
space. There's an expectation ofsurrender. So when a man's like,

(01:06:02):
just surrender, right? When,what if a man was to say that to
a woman without providingsafety, without providing
containment without offering thedepth of his presence? That is
just demanding a woman tosurrender without creating the
environment in which she needs awoman is going to do the

(01:06:23):
complete fucking opposite?
Right? That's actuallyrepulsive. Yeah. And for women,
it's really important to honorthat, we can often do the same
thing to men, we can be like,demanding, like, be more
powerful, be more masculine,lead me, but simultaneously, not
be creating an environment wherehe feels safe to do that. We're

(01:06:49):
criticizing him. We're trying tocontrol how he leads and how he
brings his power. He's, he'sbringing it in moments. And then
we're saying no, not like that.
No, not like that. Here's how Iwould do it. Or in the small
ways of like, you know, youcould be asking on a Tuesday

(01:07:09):
night, can you can you lead memore? Can you take me on
Mondays? Can you do this thing?
And then on the Wednesday, he'ssaid that he's going to go and
do something with his friends.
And you're like, Oh, you'realways out? Or then you're
driving with him? And then yousay, why are you going this way?
Or he's scrolling his phone? Whyare you always on your phone?

(01:07:30):
Right? That is not anenvironment where a man will
feel safe, to bring hisleadership because you're
constantly communicating. Idon't trust you. Right, I don't
trust you. And so this is thepiece, I really want women to
hear that you can't just pointthe finger at your man or a man

(01:07:52):
and say, Bring me yourleadership. You know, you are
part of that. That equation,you're a part of that
cocreation. And like you saidbefore, that receptivity, that
openness, that offering himappreciation, celebrating the
moments, he is taking risks,honoring him, respecting him in

(01:08:15):
those ways, is like, so fuckingimportant. And then in your own
body means being so devoted tomeeting the parts of you that
want to control like this isgoing to be so fucking
confronting. This was so fuckingconfronting for me. In those
first few years of reallyshifting our dynamic was meeting
all the parts of me that wouldwant it to like fight you, when

(01:08:36):
you were leaving. Like when wewould dry I remember this one
time, when we're driving to arestaurant, I literally was just
like, I just, like, felt souncomfortable. And so like, my
body was like, you know, almostlike fighting, I could feel the
parts of me that just wanted tobe like, you're gonna get it
wrong. I don't trust you thatlike you weren't in the right
place. You can fuck it up, oh,my God, and almost wanted to

(01:08:59):
sabotage that moment. So you didget it wrong. So I could just be
like, See, told you and I couldjust be comfortable again,
comfortable in the seat ofmaking decisions. And I'll just
do it because I can trustmyself. And I know we'll get it
right.

Jacob O'Neill (01:09:14):
It's easy to do it myself.

Meg O'Neill (01:09:15):
It's easier to do it myself. If you're a woman
that wants to be ravishedclaimed and lead, you must be
willing to meet the part of you.
Right and be with the discomfortof being with a part of you that
thinks you know best. Yeah,right, and thinks it's easier to
do it yourself. Yes, right.
That's going to beuncomfortable. You're going to

(01:09:35):
be sitting at a restaurant andpotentially thinking, I wouldn't
have picked this one. I wouldhave actually picked the Asian
joint down the road. And thenyou've just got to be with that
part of you. Notice that part ofyou. And then can you find the
receptivity under that part ofyou? And you go Oh, hi. You're
welcome here part of me thatthinks I know best and thinks
that I would have had a bettertime if I chose or I controlled

(01:09:57):
the situation. But actually Hi,I'm gonna practice hula taking a
deep breath and opening my body.
I can feel the part of me thatwants to make him wrong right
now. So I can be right. And Ican come back into the part of
me that wants to feel familiarof like familiar and in control.
Okay, I can feel and acknowledgethat part of me, but can I
breathe down into receptivity?

(01:10:20):
Can I open? Can I speak thatpart of me into the space? I
used to do that all the time,you'd make a decision or you'd
share something and I'd say, Oh,my God, I can feel the part of
me that wants to make you wrong,right now I can feel the part of
me that struggling to let youmake a decision for us, we'll
let you lead. That's powerfulwhen something is spoken into

(01:10:40):
the space. Right, then you gotan opportunity. Or I could even
say, I can feel the part of methat's like, really
uncomfortable letting you leaveright now. And I want to be in
control. Can you help me? Right,you can ask for your partner
support. And, like, in thatmoment, yeah.

Jacob O'Neill (01:10:59):
And I think that level of awareness is really
powerful, too, because you'resharing what's going on for you
without it being a projection.
Yeah, I just want to look up andsee if I can find this. Like I
wrote, I wrote a post aboutthis. A while ago, I can't
remember when it was, but I'dlike to read it. If I can find
it. Yes, please do. Yeah, Ican't remember where I put it.
It was it was a real a whileago. But yeah, I I really feel

(01:11:22):
that like that, like thatawareness and being able to like
speak, it just takes it out oflike, the guessing. Like, oh,
I'm gonna have to, I want topush this down. I don't want him
to feel this part of me. Becausethis isn't what I want to bring,
I want to be in my receptivity.

(01:11:43):
I don't want to be this I don'twant to be it's like, once you
voice it, we can both like kindof almost like if we can always
bring some lightness to it.
Sorry, I'm not speaking to Mike.
We can bring some lightness toit. And then we can start to
ground it. And then that's whenlike a hammer. Hey, love it.
Thanks for sharing that with me.
Don't worry, I've got us. Noworry. If you feel a little bit
unsure, you just let me know.

(01:12:05):
But I'm gonna go the way I know.
We're gonna have the food thatI've organized. And if I get it
wrong, get it wrong. You'rereally good at you.

Unknown (01:12:15):
And yeah, like the next

Jacob O'Neill (01:12:17):
week, we'll go on another date. And we might get
it right. But I also might getit wrong. And that's part of it.
That's part of the game. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill (01:12:25):
Yeah. And I think I love that you said speaking it
out. Become like, thereforecreates an opportunity to play
with it. Now we're having thisconversation with women inside
full spectrum woman last nightwas speaking about jealousy when
jealousy arises in therelationship. And if we're just
trying to like pretend when nota jealous bitch, so there's no
part of us. That's a jealousbitch. That part of us is then

(01:12:47):
going to come out inmanipulative ways. Yes. And it's
the same with any part of us. Ifwe're like, at the restaurant,
or like driving in the car tothe restaurant. And he we don't
know where he's taking us orhe's taking us on a surprise
date or something. And we canfeel the part of us it's like, I
need to know where we're going.
I think he's gonna get it wrong.
Does he know I'm gluten free?
Does he know that? I don't feelit. I hope he doesn't take me to

(01:13:07):
Asian like, there's that innerconflict. And the part of us
that's rising up is what I callthe controlling bitch. Yeah,
it's like the part of us thatwants to have control. If we're
pretending in that moment, Idon't have no that's not a part
of me. Breathe, open surrender.
I'm feminine goddess. Like,like, sometimes that's not

(01:13:29):
reality. Sometimes the realityis, hey, my love, I am just
feeling this part of me that'slike, Oh, my controlling pitch
is coming out right now. And Iwant to be able to open and
soften and I love expressingthis, like, I want to be able to
open and soften and melt intoyou tonight. And I can also feel
the part of me that is likewanting to fight you and wanting

(01:13:50):
to tell you, you're wrong.

Jacob O'Neill (01:13:53):
This is the unraveling like this is like
yeah, unraveling of stories andlike you get to like, unravel
rather than throw, as like it'sjust, it's an unraveling. It's
like this needs to move. And allthat is is moving energy. And
when you have the awareness andthe the impeccability
impeccability, the, the theintegrity, whatever it is, if

(01:14:15):
you can do that as a way likeHey, I just need to just share
some stuff that's going on. Ifeel like I want to control you
right now. And you're you'regoing the wrong way and I don't
know where we're going to dinnerand I really don't wanna have
Asian I'm, I'm gluten free and Idon't really want a dairy right
now but I'm also like, I'm notdrinking alcohol. So I wonder if
I have any like other drinks onum, I got a drink tablet. And

(01:14:36):
then like that, when you bringthat energy into the space you
do then that's an invoke that'san invoke invocation. You're
invoking this, this space withan invitation. I'm saying 20
words. You are asking for hiscontainment, in that unraveling.
You are asking for hiscontainment by presenting an

(01:14:59):
unraveling of your feminine.
Have this this story that nolonger wants to be stuck inside
of you. Yes. And that is abeautiful because like that, all
that takes is a hand on the kneeand like, Don't worry, my love
of Goddess. I can see thatsounds really hard. Come here, I
get it. I get it. Yes. And thenyou get to drip feed that

(01:15:22):
information. Well guess what,this place has gluten free.
That's not Asian going somewhereelse. And don't worry, I've
checked how to get there. Andthis way, you can make it to the
restaurant. And we're going tobe on top. And no, I bought a
jacket as well just in case youget cold, but they've also got
blankets.

Unknown (01:15:43):
Yes.

Meg O'Neill (01:15:45):
And if you're a man that hasn't thought of those
things, and your woman isbringing up all of those things.
That's also a beautiful way tobeautiful information for the
future. So if you realize, oh,she's worried about getting
cold, okay, a way that I cansupport her to be in her body,
rather than in her head thinkingthat I haven't thought of

(01:16:07):
everything is next time to makesure she has a jacket. I'll

Jacob O'Neill (01:16:11):
just I'll just give a masculine fucking cheat
code here. Always, like justhave a bag in your car. Like
just do this. This is a directfucking order for all of the men
out there that want to hold someform of masculine containment
for a woman, have a bag in yourcar, have socks, we have a

(01:16:31):
towel, have a blanket and have aspare jacket in your car.

Meg O'Neill (01:16:39):
That's actually the sexiest thing when like we've
been out and I need a blanket orlike, we want to sit down
somewhere like this happened. Ithink it happened on my birthday
last year when we wanted to siton the grass. And I was like, I
don't really want to sit on thegrass. You were like, I gotta
blink on the car. You're like,hey, I'll be two minutes. I'm
gonna go grab the blanket fromthe car. Yeah, it was just like,
oh, like, you've solved theproblem before it's even become

(01:17:02):
a thing. Yeah. And again, notnot that not that we should
expect a man or feel this senseof like, why didn't you have the
blanket, you should have thejacket right now. But there is
this beautiful thing when a manis able to because again, what
we're craving, if we look at themasculine and feminine, the

(01:17:22):
masculine is holdingconsciousness. Right? And this
supports when a woman doesn'tfeel like she has to out
conscious a man. So think about,is it going to rain? Is it going
to do this? Where are we going?
What did it when a womanbelieves that or can trust that
he's got that he's holding thatpole, she can melt into her body
and melt into, you know, beingembodied in pleasure in her

(01:17:48):
aliveness. And so, yeah, thatthat level of containment can
really support a woman.

Jacob O'Neill (01:17:57):
Once again, masculine cheat code for all of
the men out there. Yeah, have abag in your car. Blanket. Socks,
because her feet are gonna getcold, good quality water, good
quality water. You know what,buy an RV. Take every single
thing that you own with youeverywhere you go.

Unknown (01:18:18):
So you can meet needs and every of everything.

Jacob O'Neill (01:18:22):
Never not think about her needs it always meet
her expectations and never everfuck it up. Joking, but
seriously, like that is such a,it is such a beautiful thing
when you can fulfill a desire,because you've thought about
things from from a greaterperspective from a more
conscious place. So this is justa great one like I haven't met a

(01:18:46):
I'm yet to meet a woman thatdoesn't get cold when it's not
that cold. not that cold. Butfor someone for a while, but it
can be so it's like have atowel, have a blanket. Have a
pair of socks have a jacket. Andif he can get an umbrella and
get a really cool umbrella get areally sexy umbrella. It's such

(01:19:07):
a gentleman thing. But if youhave those things you kind of
prepared for like, Oh, if youget caught in the rain, you've
got a towel and then you've gota blanket you want to lay down
on grass or it's wet or you'relaid down so you've got a
blanket. If if she she has thekind of faded cold she put socks
on.

Unknown (01:19:24):
All those things are so sexy and

Jacob O'Neill (01:19:26):
there's nothing and there's nothing more like
fucking just bosses that when awoman's called you can give her
your jacket and she just likegets to like have this oversized
jacket on it smells like you andshe just starts to like, go all
soft and gooey. And it's likethese these are like micro
things that lead to thebeautiful like, eruption of
like, of deep love

Meg O'Neill (01:19:48):
and invite her into her body invite her the these
and because you want it youcan't just say trust me. I've
got it. Right. When a woman hasa lot of tendency is to control
embedded in her body, it's goingto take time and you have to
offer her grace as well on that.
And these moments where you'reable to say, I've got the

(01:20:08):
jacket, or don't worry, I knowthat the restaurants gluten
free, you're offering her thesemoments where it's basically
saying, or in her in her body.
It's going. Okay, I can take adeep breath. Okay, I don't have
to control. Okay, he's got me.

Jacob O'Neill (01:20:24):
Yeah. And one of the things you know, this is
your leadership may require youto go above and beyond if you
get to the rest of the so let'sjust keep using the restaurant
as an example. Yeah, you get tothe restaurant, right? You get
there. And your, your woman,your partner is cold. They don't
have blankets, and you live fiveminutes away. What do you do? Do

(01:20:49):
you stay there while it's cold?
What do you do? Do you have adecision to make what's actually
going to create more containmentfor you guys to reengage to read
return to a place of likeopenness? Is it that you sit
there for the next two hours asshe shivers and closes, closes?
closes, closes, closes? Or doyou duck into the Bulworth? It's
just down the walkway? And doyou buy a cheap blanket? So you

(01:21:13):
can put it over her knees? Doyou quickly zip home and get
another blanket and bring itback? What do you you have to
start making decisions andgetting resourceful and adapt?
That's really sexy. You get tothe restaurant and there isn't
any gluten free options. And I'malso yet to meet a woman that
isn't gluten, there's a lot ofwomen that are gluten free.
Called and don't eat gluten highmaintenance. Yeah, so they're

(01:21:37):
there. For me, it's like if youget there, and there's no gluten
free options, you can sit there.
And she can have a glass ofwater while you eat. Or you can
be like, okay, hey, hey, guys,we didn't realize that this was
there was no gluten freeoptions, we're gonna have to
cancel a booking. And we'regoing to find somewhere else to
go to go and eat. And then youliterally get on the phone, you

(01:21:59):
ring, another two or threerestaurants, you find the one
that's gluten free, has glutenfree options that are viable,
and say, Hey, I messed up, thisone doesn't have any gluten free
options, I knew that you weregluten free, I just didn't
remember. So what I've done isI've booked this other
restaurant, they will have adrink here. And then we'll go
down, they're gonna have a tableready for us in 20 minutes. And

(01:22:19):
I'll have a bit later. But it iswhat it is. It's like you get to
adapt and move with the decisionmaking process to continue to
create containment to continueto create, you know, that field
of consciousness where she seesyou're not just making one
decision and expecting the restof the night to go perfectly.
Like you're gonna you'reconstantly engaged with the
field and making thosedecisions. And that's kind of

(01:22:42):
what, that's the role that weget to play that's like that's
freedom is found throughresponsibility in that in in
these, these kinds of dynamicswith a relationship.

Meg O'Neill (01:22:53):
Yes. And even I thought of a question before, if
you are a man that's wanting toreally hold that masculine pole,
and you're noticing your woman'scontrolling tendencies, or her
tightening or her contraction,and she's not quite resting into
the containment, you're thinkingyou're providing a beautiful
question to ask is, what do youneed to relax into tonight? What

(01:23:18):
do you need to relax intotonight? Or today? Or whatever
it is? Yeah, what do you need?
So I might be I'm actuallyreally cold. Like maybe that
it's okay, if you can't attuneto every one of her needs before
she speaks it into the space. Sothis can be if you can just tell
something's up, you can say,hey, my love, what do you what
do you need to relax intotonight?

Jacob O'Neill (01:23:37):
And the energy of that makes speaking into like,
beneath that, like, if you askthat question, you can ask it as
if there's a problem that needsfixing. Or you can ask is if
there's an invitation for you tolead it on an even deeper level,
yes, for you to embrace a deeperlevel of leadership. So if I see
that Meg is closing, I'm like,what, you know, what do you
need? Like, just tell me whatyou need. I'll get it. There's a

(01:23:59):
level of urgency and a need forme to fix your discomfort
because I don't feelcomfortable. But if I say hey,
lover, what's going on rightnow? What do you need from what
do you need to be able to relaxright now? If you could, if you
could have any if you could haveeverything that you've ever
wanted? In this moment? Whatwhat is it that you really need?
I'm just really cold. Amazing.
Thank you for letting me down.

(01:24:23):
I'm gonna organize a blanket foryou right now. Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, don't worry. Don'tworry. It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine. No, I'mgonna go and get your blanket.
Let me go and see if I've gotone here at the restaurant. They
don't have any blankets. They'regoing to, they're gonna bring a
heater around. And then theybring the heat around. Oh, it's
out of gas. Okay, I'm justmaking this extravagance sounds

(01:24:46):
like I'm the greatest man. I'mgonna get duck down to I'm just
gonna call this around thecorner. It's still open a duck
round by a blanket for $27 orwhatever and I just fucking suck
it up. Yeah. And that $27 ispart of the I sacrifice that I
make in order to create a sacredcontainer for you to soften
into. And they come back with areally soft, fluffy cheapass

(01:25:09):
fucking cold blanket. And youwrap it around your legs and
instantly yourself and instantlyyou're like, he's got me. My
needs and desires are valid andvalued by him and he's willing
to do what it takes.

Meg O'Neill (01:25:23):
That and the version of a woman you get when
you do go the extra mile andthat's when you are attuned when
you are devoted to this likecontainment and like leading
through these these Messiermoments, the version of your
woman you get to receive isdelicious. Like oh, and like you

(01:25:44):
are part of her, you a part ofoffering her an experience that
she aches for, which is tosoften and surrender and open

Jacob O'Neill (01:25:55):
100% and and this will all you know this is the
role that a woman will play inthis is to continue continually
just to relax into receptivity.
Yes, continually relax intoreceptivity. If you wrap that
blanket around your legs, yousay oh, how much was it? Don't
Don't tell her. Don't just don'tfucking tell it. That's the rule

(01:26:16):
and other masculine Chica, whichyou guys to ask for more
information around how you didthe thing? She doesn't need to
know anything. Irrelevant. Tellme more about tell me more about
you.

Unknown (01:26:29):
Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill (01:26:29):
irrelevant. What do you feel like for dinner?
Let's order a drink. Let's getthis show on the road. Yeah, but
uh, how much was it doesn'tmatter. And you're not allowed
to ask me that question again.
The menu, you get to them playon that. Like it's because if
you can be receptive in themoment, but then you can
backtrack like well, how muchwas it? 27 miles, I'll send you
the $27 now and you're like nofucking like, there's so many

(01:26:50):
ways in which that sabotagesabotage your receptivity by
like trying to put you know,receive, but then men kind of
like manipulate it back into I'mstill in control over because
I'm gonna pay him and not becreate this like, Oh, I'm in
debt. Do I owe him Yeah, butthat's not it. Like he did that
because he wanted to. And that'sthe truth. I wouldn't have done

(01:27:12):
it if I didn't want to do it.
That's what I always say. Yeah.
Would you like to read yourpost? Or do we feel complete?
Yeah, I've

Unknown (01:27:23):
this has been an epic conversation. I feel you Is
there anything that you need?
You've

Jacob O'Neill (01:27:27):
got your little blanket. I've got my little
blanket. Yeah. Do you need socksa jacket and umbrella or socks
and a blanket right now and T soyou just need an umbrella and a
jacket? And then you'll be soreceptive The good thing about
the basket shake heavy far rightthis parliament we if you are

(01:27:47):
like driving somewhere early,just put a pillow in the car.

Meg O'Neill (01:27:50):
Oh my god. Amazing.
I'm the biggest passengerPrincess because of you. You're
You're incredible at preparingthe space before I get into a
car. So

Jacob O'Neill (01:27:58):
funny how happy that can make someone especially
if it's your partner can do foranyone. But like if you're you
know, if you're hopping up to gosomewhere early, like kayaking
on someone's birthday, and youput a pillow in the car. Like it
just seem like they're like, Ohmy god. How good is this? You
are so good to me. You put thepillow in the car and as a

(01:28:19):
blanket here and I'm having thebest time ever just sleeping in
the car. It's such a feel sopowerful as well. So that's
another little cheat code butI'll um I'll read this poem.
Yeah this is an offering for allthose who yearn for deeper
intimacy it's a bit vulnerableto read this haven't actually

(01:28:40):
read through it all. Okay, cool.
Here this is this is relevantwas making sure I can do it
myself. She says. I paused for amoment. She obviously has it
handled. There is no need for meright now. But there's a twinge
in my chest. No, it's nothingchivalry is dead. If she really

(01:29:03):
wanted me to do it, that's whatshe would have said. We are all
equal I guess. I can Vincemyself there is nothing I can
give her. She can't give herselfbut there's still this twinge in
my chest. And when I listen toit tells me to stop thinking and
get out of my head. Go deeperthan the words go beyond her

(01:29:23):
walls. Her need for independencehas her holding her breath
waiting for you to listen to herheart. Not the words she has
just said. Her heart whisperstake me. Lead me anywhere. Show
me you're listening to theyearning that is really there. I
won't surrender to yourquestions or suggestions of what

(01:29:46):
I need to fix. I surrender onlyto the penetration of your full
heart. The part of you thatknows me better than I know
myself. So yes, I could do itmyself. I don't want to my heart
is pumping and my body comesalive. It's time for the nice
guy to die and the man toarrive. This defies logic and

(01:30:07):
makes no sense. Regardless of myresistance, I take a deep breath
and lean all the way in

Unknown (01:30:26):
that's so beautiful.

Jacob O'Neill (01:30:28):
That's the dance.
Yeah. Such an important Djangois done is such an important
thing to really really attune tothe heart and I think that's
when when we talk aboutreceptivity and openness that's
what we're really talking aboutis like this opening of your
heart and trusting love andtrusting each other and

(01:30:48):
trusting. I really think I thinkthis is like really believing it
that that love does exist and itdoes actually conspired or deeds
conspiring for you guys to havea beautiful, beautiful
experience of life together.

Meg O'Neill (01:31:05):
And to evolve each other. Yeah, and love really
feeling that my desires are notonly in service to me, but in
service to you and vice versa.
Oh, you crave most from me, isactually in service. It's like I
am here to evolve and becomemore of that. Yes. And yeah,
when we get to see ourrelationship as that dance and

(01:31:28):
like this, invoking and invitinglike the deeper gifts from each
other as being it's it's how canwe take offense to our partners
desires, then it's like inservice to us. It's for us as
much as it is for them.

Jacob O'Neill (01:31:45):
100% Okay, this is a really fun conversation.
Love ya. Love ya. I'm superexcited for all the women
joining claimed as well. Yeah.
Yeah, I

Meg O'Neill (01:31:56):
think I think there probably would have been more
info in the episode.

Jacob O'Neill (01:32:00):
Oh, yeah. Cool.
No worries. Yeah, but I justthink it's cool. Like, yeah,
like, this is like, this is abig part of your work, I think,
you know, and I just want tocelebrate you my love for the
way that you lead. I thinkthere's so many amazing women
out there leading in businessand leading their lives so
powerfully, and have this deepdesire to surrender. And that
just isn't about that just isn'tabout finding the right man.

(01:32:22):
It's about finding the man thatis willing to meet you in the
process of this calibration.
That's the pace so I yeah, I'mreally excited for all of the
women that are joining you forclaimed.

Meg O'Neill (01:32:35):
And I know this Yes, acclaimed is my in person
immersion happening in July. Soif you can get yourself to the
Gold Coast, you're going to wantto be a part of this. And it is
the the women I the women thatare really drawn to my work and
specifically claimed is if youare a high achieving woman, and
if you are a woman that knowshow to get what she wants in the

(01:32:56):
world and, and really lead andmake decisions and you're not
desiring that in yourpartnership, you want to taste
you know, the oceans ofsurrender that are available to
you, you want to be able to meltinto the containment your man
offers you whether you'recurrently in partnership or not
like this is this is a practicethat starts first in our own

(01:33:18):
bodies, which either invites ourcurrent man into more of his
power, or it invites you know,the caliber of man that you
deeply desire when you are outthere in the world of dating. So
this is going to be three daysin person deeply devoted,
devoted to becoming a space foryour man's claim or your future

(01:33:40):
man's claim your future man'sleadership and again, this is
about you know, meeting in thebody these parts of us that want
to control meeting the parts ofus that don't want to receive
and really stepping into and,and bringing alive these, these
qualities of receptivity anddeep surrender and also feminine

(01:34:00):
leadership and learning how tobe a woman that that opens her
heart breathe down, breeds downher walls and expresses herself
brings forth the controllingbitch brings forth jealousy,
like doesn't try and hide theseparts of yourself but really
unapologetically claims to havefull expression and have full

(01:34:21):
spectrum. So yeah, you're gonnawant to come so you can go to
its application only. I don'tknow what date this is coming
out, but maybe you still have afew days but earlybird Earlybird
ends 31st of May. And you get abig discount with the earlybird
but go to mag dash O'Neill withtwo L's dot com forward slash

(01:34:47):
claimed dash immersion for allthe dates or just head to the
link in the show notes. Righton. Okay. epic,

Jacob O'Neill (01:34:58):
epic. Epic. Send my love.

Meg O'Neill (01:35:00):
We'll see you next week.

Jacob O'Neill (01:35:01):
Bless up plus up.

Unknown (01:35:03):
We love you. Bye.
Peace.

Jacob O'Neill (01:35:08):
Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to
another episode of Sex love andeverything in between. Now if
you'd like to stay connectedwith Megan i You can head on
over to Instagram and follow meat the Jacob O'Neill and where
can people find you lover

Meg O'Neill (01:35:23):
at the dot mag dot o

Jacob O'Neill (01:35:27):
amazing and yeah guys check out the show notes
for all other information inregards to what we've got coming
up. And yeah, we're super supergrateful that you guys have
taken the time to listen in tothis podcast. If you do have any
topics or any questions, like Isaid, hit us up on Instagram and
we'll see what we can do. Apartfrom that have a beautiful,
beautiful rest of your day.
Thanks for being here. Big BigLove
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