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June 19, 2024 69 mins

"“The fear of not measuring up can be overwhelming, especially when it feels like everything is on the line” - Jacob

In this podcast episode, Meg and Jacob tackle the raw and vulnerable feelings of inadequacy that we all face in relationships.

 They talk about what it looks like to fully show up in a relationship, how to best support each other and how recognizing and honoring each other’s struggles without making them feel wrong is crucial.


They also riff off on:

  • Healing the "worthiness wound" in men.
  • Meg shares insights on how women can support their partners in feeling enough in relationships.
  • Jacob shares his vulnerability about not feeling good enough, leading to a deeper understanding of their issues.
  • Jacob expresses gratitude for Meg's unwavering support and healing energy 
  • Meg emphasizes the importance of loving men with their imperfections, rather than expecting them to be perfect.
  • Jacob and Meg discuss how their unworthiness stories impact their relationships, leading to a deep conversation about responsibility and accountability.
  • Meg O'Neill encourages women to love their partners unconditionally to awaken their full potential.

and many more..

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

Grab the Relationship Freebie here --> https://meg-oneill.com/relationship-freebie

Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

CLAIMED: An in-person event who wants to feel deeply claimed by their partner: https://meg-oneill.com/claimed-immersion

JOIN TGOM here --> https://www.theembodiedmaninstitute.com/tgom

Ignite Your Intimacy
: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! --->https://meg-oneill.com/ignite-your-intimacy

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information





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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meg O'Neill (00:00):
If you are not, and I'm speaking to the women here,

(00:03):
if you are holding your man tothis expectation of always
succeeding and always being thisperfect version of the
masculine, and always being ableto provide and always, always,
always, always, always right,and you're withholding love in
the moments where he is, notthat that well, first of all,

(00:24):
that's can that's puttingconditions on your love, yes,
right? And this isn't the way tolove him even more deeply into
his power.

Jacob O'Neill (00:41):
Yo yo, yo yo.
Lovers. Welcome, welcome.
Welcome to sex, love andeverything in between where the
O'Neills you're here with MeganJacob,

Meg O'Neill (00:49):
and this is the place we have really uncensored
conversations about sex,intimacy and relationships.
We're super excited you're here.
Enjoy this episode. YouHi, beautiful human. What's

Jacob O'Neill (01:09):
up? Lovers,

Meg O'Neill (01:10):
welcome back.
Welcome back.

Jacob O'Neill (01:12):
Hey, lover, hi,

Meg O'Neill (01:13):
hi.

Jacob O'Neill (01:13):
How are you?

Meg O'Neill (01:14):
I'm really good.
You

Jacob O'Neill (01:15):
pregnant?

Meg O'Neill (01:16):
Yeah, I'm getting there, aren't I? The belly is
really popping. I feel in thelast, like, week, maybe week and
a half, I've felt pregnant,yeah, where before that? I would
just feel like, before withpregnant, and then I'd look down
and be like, oh, there's abelly. Where now I'm like, oh
yeah. Just like, breathingsometimes and moving around.

(01:40):
It's the best making love. Theother night. I was like, I was
just so slow. I was like, Igotta roll. No,

Jacob O'Neill (01:47):
can't be that position for too long. Oh, no.
It was quite funny. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill (01:54):
that was Yeah. We did say that last night. We need
to find, like,

Jacob O'Neill (01:59):
some pregnancy Kama Sutra? Yeah, I'm

Meg O'Neill (02:01):
sure it's out there. Position inspo,

Jacob O'Neill (02:06):
yeah.

Meg O'Neill (02:07):
Because what we our current repertoire isn't very
pregnancy friendly, not very

Jacob O'Neill (02:11):
pregnancy friendly at all. I'm sure
there's a whole niche forpregnancy. Everyone's probably
thinking

Meg O'Neill (02:17):
like, what are they what are their positions now?
Yeah, imagine our non pregnancyfriendly positions, yeah,

Jacob O'Neill (02:24):
before, before pregnancy or during pregnancy,
and then after pregnancy, we'llhave a whole three different
styles, I'm sure, styles of sex.
Yeah, we won't be having sexonce we have a baby that
instead, is off the car.

Meg O'Neill (02:37):
Did I tell you?
Well, you were offline. Did Itell you about the pregnancy. Q
and A, I did. You didn't. No,yes, one of the questions that I
got was, is there any fearscoming up around how your
relationship is going to change?
And, you know, I've spoken thisto you before, that there's a
part of me that is kind ofwanting to have so much sex now,
because I'm, you know, I don'tknow what it's going to look

(03:01):
like when we have a baby, so I'mlike, let's make the most of it,
because underneath that is apart of me that thinks maybe
we'll never have like sex again.
And I know that's not true, butthere's this part of me that is
really realizing that the way wehave sex is really gonna change,
and that's Yeah, and I expressthat, and the amount of women
that message me, saying, Thebest sex of my life happened

(03:22):
like after children, and the sexjust gets better and better and
better. People saying, you know,it gets really fun and creative,
and you have to have cookies inthe kitchen while the kids are
watching the wheels. So I lookforward to cookies in the
kitchen with you.

Jacob O'Neill (03:38):
Yes, hot potato.
Hot potato. I better, yeah,yeah. Awesome.

Meg O'Neill (03:46):
I loved I loved that. That makes me really
excited that our sex life isonly gonna get Yeah, I still
want to have heaps of sex beforewe have this movie. I think it's
I, yeah, I've been really hornylately, all night, second
trimester energy,

Jacob O'Neill (04:06):
yeah, you've got all that. Although I don't know
what second trimester energy is,but it is a horny energy. It is
Devourer, yeah, the season ofdevouring that's what I feel
from you. Bring it on. But, um,we're not going to talk about
pregnancy today. We're going tosave that for another day. We're
going to talk about me. This isall about me today, more so

(04:32):
about men, but also about thisidea of, I feel that we've
really spoken into the I'm toomuch wound for women and for
men, it's not that. It's not theI'm too much, it's the I'm not
enough, and that, sorry you go.
I was

Meg O'Neill (04:49):
just gonna say what you mean by that is like so many
women in relationship have thislike come into relationships and
a condition to feel this fear oflike, I'm too much. Like. My
emotions are too much. Mydesires are too much. We have
this fear of being too much. Andyou know, we a lot of the time,
this shows up even in our firstrelationships. I often talk

(05:10):
about the cool girl, like, Idon't need anything. I don't
want anything. We try and pushdown our desires and where the
deepest yearning under that isto be in a relationship where a
man accepts and embraces andcelebrates and holds spaces.
Hold space for all, all aspectsof us, the full fucking
spectrum. And yeah, we speak alot about that on on this show

(05:32):
and on the podcast, or theequivalent of that for a man,
you know, is this feeling of,I'm I'm not enough. I'm not
going to be enough in thisrelationship, which

Jacob O'Neill (05:43):
has us overreaching and trying to do
more to seem as though we've gotit all together. It's this idea
of like I need to be a certainlevel or to receipt to be worthy
of love. Yes, I need to havethis, this, this, this and this.
And I can never not have this,because if I don't have this, I
will be replaced, or I won't begood enough for my partner,

(06:06):
therefore she will leave me.

Meg O'Neill (06:08):
And I've actually been speaking to you know, quite
a few of my clients recentlyhave expressed, and I'm sure
there's women listening to thisthat have had partners or ex
partners express this into therelationship of I'm scared I'm
not going to be enough for you.
I'm scared I won't ever meetyour needs. I'm scared I won't
ever, you know, be enough or doenough for you, or I don't ever
feel enough for you. I'm sureyou've experienced this kind of

(06:32):
language, or potentially evenwitnessed your man in feeling
that before

Jacob O'Neill (06:41):
that. That like that, that can be such a what
I've found, and what we'vedeepened in our relationship,
like, that's it requires adifferent type of approach for
to love a man in this, to toapproach this. And this is not
just um, celebrating him andbeing like, yeah, you've done
the little things right. Or,Yes, go for it. It's a very much

(07:03):
a it requires a level oftenderness, requires a level of,
wouldn't say, discernment, asmuch as, like, compassion or,
like some like, I just think,like tender loving kindness,
like, it's like he's alreadyjudging himself and beating
himself up enough to, like, togive him like to be what he

(07:24):
needs is to is to bring, throughthe gentleness, the kindness,
the compassion that he isn'table to necessarily give himself
based on the stories and beliefsthat he's got around, what it
means to be a man, yes,

Meg O'Neill (07:37):
and just To give our listeners or watchers,
viewers, a bit of context inwhere we're going we're really
going to be talking about how,how do we honor this wound
within our men? How do we reallyhold space for it, and how do we
support them to heal that withinthe container of our
relationship? You know? How dowe love them really well through

(07:57):
this wound and into deeperexpansion and into deeper levels
of power in themselves. Are yougonna say something then?

Jacob O'Neill (08:08):
No, I just think that, yeah, this is such an
important conversation becauseof how much if, like, how much
it affects me, like, how muchlike, even like last week and
this whole year has been broughtup another layer of worthiness,
or this wound around, like, theworthiness wound of like, I'm
not good enough, and I'm nevergoing to be good enough, and I

(08:29):
have no idea how I'm ever goingto be if I ever, yeah, if I I'm
just so and I think that's theother thing, is, like, it's not
just the I'm not good enough,it's, no matter what I do, I'll
never be good enough, and thatcan just it, can it can really
poison a man's life and lead himto be what I what happens with

(08:53):
me personally is I close off andI get riddled with shame, and I
get riddled with this, this thisfear and this guilt of Like I'm
I'm a piece of shit, and ifeveryone actually knew just how
fucked up I was and just how badI was and just how wrong I was
about everything, they would noone would ever listen to me. No
one would ever love me. And it'seasy for people to say, well,

(09:15):
that's not true. It's like,yeah, thank you, but also like
it feels true to me, becausethat's what I'm telling myself,
and that's what I've been I'vetold myself for many years. I
think it's really, it's not assimple as saying, well, that's
not true, mate, you're actuallya good person, or no, that's not
true, my love. You're a goodperson. You do good work, and

(09:36):
then you go back to whatever youwere doing. It's about like
being with what's beneath that,and what part of him needs, the,
I guess, the attention as well,and the the the presence and the
awareness. So you need someoneto literally provide that loving
awareness for for that to comeout and really just be witnessed

(09:59):
like That's. It's an importantpiece being witnessed. Yeah,
yeah. Can I share a little bitabout last week? Does that feel
good?

Meg O'Neill (10:17):
Can I share just one thing my mind went a little
blank. There

Jacob O'Neill (10:21):
may be a series of long pauses throughout this
one,

Meg O'Neill (10:26):
not full year today,

Jacob O'Neill (10:29):
between worlds.

Meg O'Neill (10:32):
No, I was just thinking for the women listening
to this, because this episode isboth for men and women. But the
what we really want to bringawareness to is that when you
realize that your man is maybecarrying this wound of feeling,
you know, not enough right,having that awareness can just

(10:53):
so deeply, then shift the waywe're showing Up in the
relationship and Meeting them.
For example, youif we're realizing, Oh, wow,

(11:37):
sometimes they don't feel likethey're no matter what they do
in our relationship, no matterhow hard they work, no matter
how much they do for our family,no matter how much they're, you
know, whatever it is, they trulydon't feel like they're can be
enough or doing enough. Then ifwe then think about maybe the

(11:57):
way that we're bringingourselves to our partner, and if
that's from this place ofpointing out, Hey, you haven't
taken me on a date. Hey, younever do this. Hey, you're not
like that guy on Instagram. Hey,we can really see how that is
just that's just like pouringfucking salt on that wound,
pouring acid on that wound,right? Totally. And so it

(12:18):
doesn't mean as women that wehave to push down our desires
and become desireless or pretendwe don't want anything in
relationship. No, we can stillwant more from our man. We can
still desire more dates. We canstill desire, you know, a deeper
level of claim, or whatever thedesire might be. And it's about
really moving out of thispattern of feeling like the only

(12:40):
way to get that version of ourman, or receive that version of
our man, is through pointing outwhat he's not doing right and
how he's not doing enough rightnow, or being enough, yes, and
this is such. I'm sure we'll getdeeper and deeper into what this
looks like, but I just reallywant to bring that into the

(13:01):
conversation. Right now, becausethis is the practice and
beginning to really realize, ah,I have compassion, just like I
think that comparison is soimportant. When a man realizes
that many women walk around withthis deep fear of being too
much, right when she's feelingchaotic and all over the place.
He's probably not going to sayto her anymore, stop being

(13:23):
crazy. Or like, Oh, you're justlike, why are you being
dramatic? Why are you beingthis? He's going to be like, Oh,
wow. That's probably going to belike, pouring salt or acid on
the wound for her. She's goingto be like, I knew I was too
much. I knew you could, like,that's going to inflame that
wound that she has. Andsimilarly, it's saying for us as
women, just like bringing thisawareness in, can totally shift

(13:43):
the way we love on our man, andcan then totally shift the way
we're receiving and what we'reevoking from him. Because as
women, heterosexual women, wetruly have I believe, the power
to make or break our men,especially in these moments
where that wound is activated,when a man is not feeling good
enough, right? The way we'remeeting him in a relationship,

(14:06):
can either break him further, orit can fucking make him and
transmute that wound and shiftthat wound deeply.

Jacob O'Neill (14:17):
Yeah, it's literally healing that word,
like it heals that part of himthat has been there for, for as
long as it's been there, yeah?
Well, well, said, my love. Oh,podcast, done.

Meg O'Neill (14:33):
You were gonna say, what share more around?

Jacob O'Neill (14:36):
Oh, just like, Yeah, my experience of this is
like, ah, like, holding it down,and I'm feeling really powerful.
And then all of a sudden, nothaving, having a few slower
weeks in business, having all ofmy my my shit, come up around
and and it came up not so much,because business was slow for a
couple of weeks more. So it wasaround. I don't know how I'm

(14:58):
going to have a like a six.
Personal business and be apresent, loving family man, and
I don't know how to be both. SoI was like, in this indecisive,
I was in this, I don't knowwhich one I can be, and that
then beneath that, was like, Oh,I'm not good enough to have have
have it all. I'm not good enoughto have both of these things, so

(15:19):
one of them has to start tocrumble, and the one that's more
important to me is the family,not the business, because the
business started crumbling, andthat was where I started to feel
the shame, like, Oh God, I'mgonna have to gonna go back. I'm
just gonna go back to work. Butthen Meg won't love me because
I've given up, and then she'llthink that less of me because
I'm not living my truth andfollowing my vision. And then I

(15:41):
was scared to come and talk toyou about it, because I'm like,
Well, if I do that, you're gonnaI remember when you said that I
had a job that you wanted to getme out of that job. And it
brought up all of these, thesestories of like, you know, if I
ever get a job and I in the I'mnot available to her 24 fucking
seven, then I'm not going to bea present man. And all of these
things just kept on likerattling around my head that my
whole body just went into afreeze, and I wasn't able to

(16:06):
feel anything. Therefore no onecould. You could not feel me.
And that all came to a head lastweek when I can't remember what
happened, but I was just like Iwas just exhausted. Was
exhausted, and I can't rememberwhat we were doing, but I came
in and was in this was it waslike, everything that I'm doing

(16:28):
isn't working. I was trying. Iwas like, trying to do
everything. I'm like, I'm tryingto do the things in my business.
I'm trying to do the things thatI need to do and have
breakthroughs and haveconversations and make the money
and make the sales and be in myvision. But nothing I was doing
was landing, nothing was gettingtraction, and I had to come to
you and just be like, listen, Ifeel like I got to the place,

(16:50):
and I didn't just come to youand be like, Hey, I feel like a
failure. It was like I wasliterally like, I could feel the
part of me that had to, like,literally will myself into that
conversation and be okay withwhatever came out after it. But
we, um, we sat down and you werelike, and I just had to share
that like, I was, like, scared.
There's a part of me this, like,terrified that you're going to

(17:13):
find someone better. And there'sa part of me it's like, oh,
you're going to have this baby,and then some 41 year old man
who's got a thriving businessand a brand new car and house by
the water and has all of thatsorted and doesn't need, doesn't
have any of the drama of that,and he's just going to come in
and be like, hey, I can, I canlook after you. And that, that

(17:35):
was like, that was just like,creating such and I was that was
a whole story that I created,right? That's not real, but I
created that, and it onlyperpetuated and kept the story
going of, I'm not good enough,so I'm here just telling myself,
you're not good enough, andhere's what's going to happen,
because you're not this is goingto happen, and that's only going

(17:55):
to mean that, yes, you're notgood enough, and

Meg O'Neill (17:58):
which is leading to deeper disconnection between us,
because, yes, you were, you werecontracting, and I wasn't able
to feel you,

Jacob O'Neill (18:05):
yeah, and like, I didn't want to have sex. I
didn't want to, I couldn't, Icouldn't engage in intimacy,
because I didn't feel open, Ididn't feel I didn't feel
available

Meg O'Neill (18:15):
for and I was having moments of really
initiating and, yeah, you know,really bringing myself to you,
and then feeling this sense ofrejection, yeah and again, yeah

Jacob O'Neill (18:24):
and that. And when a man doesn't feel good
enough, like, I know in thosemoments, there is a part of me
that rejects you because Ican't, I can't give you what you
need because I don't think I'mgood enough to so, like, there
is a, there is that feeling ofrejection that is very real for
you, but it's not because I wantto reject you. It's because I

(18:46):
don't know how to give you whatyou want, because I because the
story that is running is like,I'm not good enough, and that,
um, which then

Meg O'Neill (18:55):
is just a spiral, because, like, yeah, you know,
the woman wants to be claimed,and then you're not feeling good
enough to claim and then it's,well, you're not claiming me and
all these, you know this backand forth. It's like this, this
cycle

Jacob O'Neill (19:08):
totally and it's not a woman's responsibility.
She doesn't have to do anythingabout this. It's a choice
whether or not you want to,like, bring this into bring
this, this, texture of love intoyour relationship and and offer
it as a way of soothing andhealing that part of him that is

(19:28):
telling himself he's not he'snot worthy, and

Meg O'Neill (19:31):
deepen into that like, what does that look like,
even like, if you want to takeus to the place of what unfolded
from from last week, I

Jacob O'Neill (19:39):
can't really remember exactly How we got to
the point where we were justhaving the conversation, but was

Meg O'Neill (19:44):
it the one in the bedroom during the day? Yeah, I
don't know. I don't remember howwe got to that place. I remember
you being quite closed at thebeginning of that conversation,
and then you you bringing thatvulnerability of like, I. Not
feeling good enough, and thingsfeel hard, and all these
different things. And there wasa moment when I did, I was, I

(20:07):
was I was touching you, or maybeI was like, hugging you. And I
can't remember the line I said,but I said something like, it
could all fucking fail and I'llstill be here, yeah? Was that
was the similar line to that. Itwas, it was really, I was just

(20:28):
sharing with you, like, I'll behere. I was like, I'll ride with
you, yeah? Like, basicallysaying, We're in this together
where I'm I'm not goinganywhere, yeah, you know, you
could fail, you could fuck up.
You could do all of it, youknow. And I'm fucking here, I'm
fucking here for the ride, yes?
And you just

Jacob O'Neill (20:49):
broke down, yeah?
That was a lot, yeah. In whatthat, what story that broke was
the idea that when I fail,you'll leave. When I fail, well,
then you'll jump ship, and whenyou said all of those words like
that, was like the soothing andthe healing energy that you know
that those words were carriedwith was just like, oh, fuck,

(21:13):
all of those things I've beentelling myself that's not that's
not actually true, and youdidn't say that they weren't
true. You just told me thetruth. Hey, you could you could
fall flat on your face. Youcould royally fuck this up, and
I'm still going to be here. I'mnot going anywhere. I could cry
and like that to a man that islike, so that wants to love and

(21:36):
do well and like, really caresabout what he does and wants to
be, wants to do good in theworld and make and make, make
and make the world a betterplace. Like to know that if he
doesn't do that, all in the way,you know, if he fails, it
sometimes fails in that pursuit.

(21:58):
Sometimes he's he's not going tobe told that he's bad or wrong,
he's going to have someone tocome home to.

Meg O'Neill (22:07):
And I think you know where we've been together a
decade this year, and I'm surethere's many more I intend to be
with you for decades and decadeslonger. Of course, there's going
to be challenges. No human goesthrough life without failing. No
human goes through life withoutexperience being being initiated

(22:28):
by life, being challenged bylife. And if you are not, and
I'm speaking to the women here,if you are holding your man to
this expectation of alwayssucceeding and always being this
perfect version of themasculine, and always being able
to provide and always, always,always, always, always, always

(22:48):
right? And you're not actually,and you're withholding love in
the moments where he is not thatright, that well, first of all,
that's can that's puttingconditions on your love, yes,
right? And this isn't the way tolove him even more deeply into
his power. That's a disservice.
Loving him in that way is adisservice to him, but you and

(23:12):
your relationship and yourfamily and the entity of your
partnership,

Jacob O'Neill (23:19):
yeah, it doesn't serve you at all. Yeah, at the
end of the that's not, it's notfor a woman. It's not serving
your deep desire to be claimed.
You're, it's, it's, it doesleave you in that position of
control, and that doesn't serveeither of you, but mostly it
doesn't deserve you know, thedeeper desires that that exists
within your core as well. So,um, yeah, I think that there's

(23:42):
such a space for this in in therelationship conversation too.
After polarity is such a bigone, which is, which is so
important, it's an importantpiece of the puzzle. But this,
I'm not enough, I'm too much, orI'm not enough from the men, and
I'm too much from the women.
This is a real space where wecan learn to love each other

(24:06):
home and heal those wounds. Sowe can actually experience
polarity at an even deeperlevel. It's like you can have
the surface level polarity, butif you want the depth of
polarity, you're going to haveto go through these initiations
that come from being eachother's safe space.

Meg O'Neill (24:23):
And that's devotion. Everything about that,
yes, yes, yes, yeah. And thefoundation of love must be there
in order to sustain polarity orcontinue to play, you know, in
the passion and polarity spacein a long term relationship,
yeah. And that really requiresbeing like I said before, if

(24:46):
you're in a long termrelationship, you life is going
to happen, yeah, to yourpartnership, but also to the
individual that you'll you love,yeah? And how do you love them
through that? How are youshowing up? Are you making them
in those. Moments. Or are youbreaking them? Are you reminding
them that you know you're there?
Are you reflecting back theirmotherfucking power? Or are you

(25:07):
pointing out, without trying tobe malicious, but just without
even a sense of consciousness?
Are you pointing out all theways they're not being enough
and not doing enough? Mm,my love. If you are a woman that
deeply desires to be claimed,cherished, chosen, ravished in

(25:31):
partnership, whether you arecurrently in partnership or not,
you are going to want to join mehere on the Gold Coast in July,
I'm holding an in personimmersion for three entire days,
three entire days devoted tobreathing down the walls of your

(25:52):
heart, opening your body,liberating your expression, and
Becoming a woman able to beclaimed, cherished and chosen in
partnership. I have not run anin person event or a women only
event in a very long time, andgiven the baby I'm about to
have, I will not for a whileafter this, so this is a very

(26:16):
special opportunity to come andwork with me in person with a
very intimate amount of women.
We are going to go deep. It isgoing to be an unforgettable
three days. And if you arefeeling the call to join us,
come and apply ASAP. There islimited spaces. You're going to
want to go to the link in theshow notes, or Meg dash O'Neal

(26:38):
dot com, forward slash claimeddash immersion, or just head to
my Instagram. All theinformation is there. Can't wait
to be with you.

Jacob O'Neill (26:52):
Thank you. I'm just realizing how, like,
especially this, I don't know Ifeel like the last 12 months
like, yeah, that I haven't feltany malice from you. I haven't
felt this. And if you have beenfeeling frustrated or angry, you
have spoken into what therejection that you've been
feeling, you've never you'vebeen so you've been such an

(27:16):
artist. You've been so masterfulin in loving me and and, and
really being devoted to therelationship, the depth of our
relationship, and like, there's,that's like, that's still,
that's still crazy to me, thatyou that you that you are this

(27:37):
there's, you know, I do feel alot better this week, and I'm
feeling really open and capableof receiving your love, but
there's still a part, and it'slike, wow, how lucky am I? Like,
yeah, how lucky am I to be onthe receiving end of your your
devotion, your devotion to love,and how that then allows me to

(27:58):
be loved, because I don't knowanyone that hasn't got something
that needs healing. I don't knowanyone, no, I haven't met anyone
yet that doesn't need some kindof tenderness, some kind of
compassion, some kind ofkindness, from from, from their
partner, or from from life. Andwe get to be that for each

(28:19):
other. And I think I for solong, I never knew that I I
needed that. And I thought, oh,once I do, once I achieve all
these things, then I can have itonce I, you know, only am I,
only can I receive that onceI've been through this, this,
this and this, and achieve this,this, this and this, and then
given this, this, this and this.
And I didn't know that I couldreceive without giving, and that

(28:41):
that really, really upset thethe belief of I'm not worth I'm
not worthy of this.

Meg O'Neill (28:54):
Yeah, I think one of the getting emotional, one of
the greatest gifts you've givenme throughout our relationship
is, you know, this permissionslip to bring my fullness and
never you know, especially inthe last five or six years, as

(29:17):
I've been on this conscious Pathof like unleashing more of
myself and unleashing more ofmy, yeah, my my fullness in our
relationship, in the world, Inever once felt you make me feel
too much like you have been thissafe place where I get to

(29:39):
express that and be that, andplay with that, right? And come
into Yeah, come into myself. Andthat's just been so incredibly
healing, so incredibly healing.
And, yeah, I know that one ofthe biggest gifts I am
continuing to offer you, and nowyou'll learn. To receive is,
yeah, that piece around likeyou're like, Yeah, you're an

(30:04):
incredible man and yeah this,I'm sure you could speak more to
to what you feel in that, butlike, just like pressing my love
into you in those moments whereyou don't feel like you deserve
it.

(30:27):
It's such a beauty, like reallyseeing that it's like such a
sacred role they get to play inyour life. Is like, how the most
beautiful thing, like, I lovethose moments, like the other
day where you were just like,like, kind of you do this thing
where you cry, where you just,like, shake because you don't

(30:50):
want to fully like, like, like,me. I'm just like, yes, tears
like, break me open, and youlike, kind of try and hold it,
and you're crying, and you kindof do this shaking thing. And I
just, I just got to, like, Ijust had my arms wrapped around
you as I as you did that theother day, and I was just
reminding you, like, Hey, I'mlike, fail and I'll be here,

(31:13):
fuck up, and I'll be here. Andthat was just like, the most
beautiful thing to witness you,and have you received that and
CO create that reallymagnificent moment with you?

Jacob O'Neill (31:28):
What? Yeah, yeah, it was, it was you're so right,
like, when the tears come foryou, you're like, here they are
breakthrough. Whereas for me,I'm like, No, not this, no
anything but this, anything butsome sign of weakness.

Meg O'Neill (31:47):
I'm sure a lot of men experience that too,

Jacob O'Neill (31:53):
but I don't know like for me, what it feels like,
what I what I see you getting toexperience is like the
confirmation that, hey, you aremy safe space. Hey, I do feel
safe with you. Hey, you do get apart of me that not not anyone
else gets, and it's like youare, yeah, I'm choosing to open

(32:16):
to you because of your fiercedevotion, your warrior like
stance when it comes to pressinglove into the parts of me that
are like, No way, yeah, and Ithink there's you can only run
for so long. I think you canonly hide for so long until
someone you know loves you inthat way or you, yeah, something

(32:42):
bad happens, yeah. And I knowthere's many men who have
fucking committed suicide.
There's many men that have endedup sick and twisted and bitter
to the point where they cannot,cannot let go. And I haven't
been at either of those doorwaysby any means, but I can see how
men get there. I can see how menchoose to commit suicide. I can

(33:05):
see how men choose to completelyshut their heart off for the
rest of their life, and chooseto choose vices over, over at
another partner ever again. Andit sucks, and I think that, once
again, it's not a women'sresponsibility, but there is a

(33:25):
role that women can play in thehealing of men's hearts. I

Meg O'Neill (33:30):
really love the way you just spoke that, because it
isn't, it's not. I don't wantanyone to be listening to this
conversation thinking, Oh, myjob is to I'm his healer, yeah,
I'm his healer, right? Becausethat's not the that's not the
energetic of what we're gettingat here. It's just that you can
be a part of that co creation,like you can be a part of that

(33:54):
co creation, and the way you arebringing yourself to Him and
offering yourself to him, youknow, and being in relationship
with him can either deepen thatwound, or it can start to close
that wound. Over can start toheal that wound. And
understanding like, that's theresponsibility taking that role,

(34:18):
like owning that sacred rolelike I really see that as a
sacred role, just just as aman's relationship if he's with
a woman, sorry, a man's role ifhe's in relationship with a
woman, part of that sacred roleis to create such a depth of
safety for her that she canunfurl in her fullness. She can

(34:39):
deeply unlock parts of herselfthat she didn't even realize
were there because she didn'tfeel that safety before like
that's magnificent. And when aman owns that role, and when a
man really takes responsibilityfor that role in relationship to
a woman, the woman he gets toreceive is. Uh, the erotically

(35:01):
alive, powerful, full spectrumwoman that he gets to be in
relationship with is probablyblows his fucking mind. And it's
the same with us as women, whenwe take that role, like when we
really take responsibility forthis sacred role we are in

(35:22):
getting to be in relationshipwith our man. We have the sacred
role of loving him into more ofhis power, shining a light on
the places where he doesn'tthink he deserves love, and
being so ruthlessly devoted tothat. And I'm like, that's
something I love what you sharedbefore around like that, almost

(35:43):
like warrior energy I have inthat. And like, even last week I
would there was like aruthlessness to how much I was
reminding you, like, Hey, I'mhere. Hey, I'm not fucking going
anywhere. And sometimes we'vegot to bring that ruthlessness.

Jacob O'Neill (36:04):
Yeah, that's the that's fierce love,

Meg O'Neill (36:06):
fierce love, ruthless love, yes,

Jacob O'Neill (36:11):
and it's confronting in the right way.
Yeah, it's like, Holy fuck, thiswoman isn't actually doing the
thing that I thought she'd do. Ithought she'd run for the hills.

Meg O'Neill (36:20):
I thought she'd make me feel and, yeah, I

Jacob O'Neill (36:22):
thought that she'd, she'd affirm what i've
what I'm feeling, and then giveme more reason to almost give
me, give me permission to tapout. She can say, you know, she
can then give me the reason toclose off and and go and take
the the the option that isn'tfully aligned with the depth

(36:43):
that I'm here to experience lifewith, which is, yes, okay, if
you do perpetuate that story,I'm not good enough, and you
tell me that I do, I then go andclose off even more. I become
more riddled with shame andguilt, and I get become even
more depressed, like literallysuppressed emotion and and then
our relationship, if not overweeks, months, or maybe a year,

(37:06):
it slowly starts to fall apart.
And then the relationship fallsapart. And then I tell myself,
see, I was right. See, I am notgood enough for her. See, of
course, she was going to leave.
I'm so right about myunworthiness, let me keep a hold
of that story. Let me keepliving that, and let me find

(37:28):
someone that can love the partsof me that I like. And then when
it comes time for thoseunworthiness pieces to come
online, we'll do the same thingagain. And this is why a lot of
men can at times, if you're inearly you know, if you do find
yourself circulating throughrelationships, you will end up
getting to the same point in arelationship, and for whatever

(37:51):
reason, it will dissolve. Or ifyou're in a long term
relationship, you'll get to apoint where it is no longer a
relationship and it's just acohabit you know, you're just
cohabiting with another person,and you're just paying the
bills, and every now and thenthere might be a spark, but most
of the time, you're justinhabiting the same dwelling,
and that sucks. And it's notthat you don't love each other,

(38:17):
it's that you've let that storyof I'm not worthy get in the way
of, like, the experience. Andthat's, you know, and that's,
and there is a level ofresponsibility that falls on
both people there,

Meg O'Neill (38:31):
completely, completely,

Jacob O'Neill (38:36):
there's quite a deep conversation, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.

Meg O'Neill (38:40):
I love where this is going. Yeah, I've got my sort
of, my deep I'm in the same handposition as you do. We're the
same. No, not one thing, and I'msure you're okay with me sharing
this, but one thing that comesup just before, when you were
talking about, like, my choiceto offer you love in that moment

(39:00):
versus to make you feel wrongshifts the way like deeply,
deeply. I don't know if the worddetermines is correct here, but
there is a it does count as adetermining factor in how you
then move from that moment as aman in the world correct. And

(39:21):
sometimes I can feel even Ipointed this out to you last
week, that when you started toshare some of those things going
on for you, and we were having areally clear conversation, or an
open conversation, I said toyou, hey, I feel this part of
you that, like, is thinking, I'mgonna, like, go mad at you like
a mum, like going mad, like youlike, you've been a naughty boy,

(39:42):
and I'm gonna punish you, andI'm gonna Yeah, you said a
physical response, then yeah,and I can feel the part of you
that's almost like,energetically you and physically
you close off. But energeticallyI can feel almost you're bracing
for impact. You're bracing forthe part of me. That's gonna
that. And maybe in the past, Idon't feel like I've done this

(40:03):
in a very long time, but in thepast potentially. And then, you
know, maybe as a young child,you experience this too, but in
the past, maybe I have, whenyou've brought those moments,
I've made you feel wrong andI've made you feel not good
enough. No doubt there have beenmoments like that, but my, my
choice to, yeah, not, notrespond in that way to you, is

(40:30):
everything, yes, like,everything, and again, I just
want to keep using, like, Ithink it's just going to be so
helpful for men and women. Like,it's similar, if you were to
bring a part of yourself to yourman, and there's part of you
bracing and being like, Oh myGod, is he gonna think I'm too
much. Oh, my God. This is, like,this is chaotic, or whatever it

(40:51):
might be. And then he goes, heloves you in that he gives you a
big hug. He asks how he cansupport you, whatever it might
be. Oh, that gets to heal thisstory. That gets to literally
heal that wound in that moment.
And so again, I want women tohear that your choice in those
moments on how to meet your mandeeply affects then the man you

(41:11):
get to receive from that momentforward. Your ability to
ruthlessly love him in thatmoment means you get to
experience a version of him.
Maybe it's not a second later.
Maybe it takes time of reallymeeting him in this way and
offering him this fierce love.

(41:32):
But after time, you're going toreceive a version of him that
maybe you didn't even think waspossible. You're going to awaken
a version of him, right whereyou get to when you've shined
love on the parts of him hedidn't think were lovable. Wow,
like a man that feels morelovable, a man that realizes

(41:54):
that there's parts of him thathe was ashamed of, but now he
doesn't have to be ashamed of,he doesn't hide. That's a man
that's going to bring more ofHimself to you, your children,
his work, the world. You get toliterally, like,

Jacob O'Neill (42:07):
open this man.
You're like, giving him thecapacity for an even deeper
level of presence. Yeah, that'slike, you're gifting him the
thing that he is here to giftthe world. You're gifting him
access to the thing that he ishere to gift the world. The more
you love those parts of him thathe has deemed unlovable, the
more whole he will become, whichmeans that in that wholeness, he

(42:27):
can bring more of what he's hereto give, which is his presence,
which is his awareness, hisconsciousness. And that means
that when he's with you, he'swith you, just a little bit
more. Means when he's with thechildren, he's with them, just a
little bit more. It means whenhe does his work, he's working
not from a he's got more. He'sgot more to give to his work

(42:48):
without without it changinganything outside of himself.
It's all from within.

Meg O'Neill (42:57):
Yes, one of the things that probably five or six
years ago that I realized that Iwanted from you is and I brought
this to you. I said, I want tofeel you, or I think, I said, I
don't feel you. I can't, I can'tfeel you. And so I realized I
wanted to like, feel you. Iwanted to feel your heart. I
wanted to feel your aliveness. II wanted, I wanted to like, feel

(43:21):
what was going on for you. Andthis is one of the ways, if
that's what you crave from yourman, if you feel that he, you
know, provides for you in his,you know, showing up and he's
doing all the things, but you'renot actually, you're like, Where
the fuck are you? I can't feelyou. You're beside me. You're
doing this, but like, I can'tfucking feel you. This is one of

(43:45):
the ways in which you cansupport him to be felt, to open,
to bring more of himself.
Because, again, you're shining.
A man that is not being felt isa man that's locked down and
he's feeling some sort of shame,yeah, some sort of shame for
parts of himself, some sort ofunworthiness. And again, you get

(44:06):
to be a part of being thepermission slip to him that,
Hey, bring it. I love all ofyou. I'm here for all of you.
All of you is welcome in thisrelationship, right? Do not hide
any part of you, because I wantit all right. I want to feel
you. And so this reminder to aman I know as women, we so

(44:30):
deeply yearn for that to be toldall of us is welcome, but I'd
love to hear your perspective onthat, like, how has that
supported you? And maybe it'snot that line all of you is
welcome here, but like, yeah,how do you how do you feel that
that's, yeah, I'm just going toleave it at that. I'm sure you
get what I'm getting at I

Jacob O'Neill (44:49):
think it's more the sim, like the confirming
that the the outcome is not whatI thought it was going to be
that you confirming that. Like,it's you saying, how. I'm not
going anywhere, like the sim,like the the core issue I'm not
worthy. This symptom shamearound having a slow month in
business, and then feeling likeI'm not good enough because I'm

(45:10):
not making enough money. I feellike I'm going to never make
money again all of a sudden, andeverything I'm doing is not
working. All of these symptoms,ding, ding, ding, ding, and then
the outcome of those symptoms isthat I'm gonna lose you because
of the core wound, I'm not goodenough. And

Meg O'Neill (45:25):
I just want to bring in a little bit here. I'm
not saying like I still hadfeelings when these things have
gone on for you recently. I'vestill had my own feelings around
it. There's been some of my ownanxiety or my own frustration or
my own contraction, yeah, but infeeling that I haven't made you
feel wrong? No, I hope ithappened. And I think this is

(45:46):
the piece where I'm not tellingyou as a woman that you must
everything your man does. Youhave to say you are loved in
that I accept every part of youand I accept your behavior. No,
but can we be so ruthlesslydevoted to seeing where we're
punishing him when somethingisn't going right, or where,

(46:08):
yeah, making him feel like he'sfucked up or he's been a naughty
little boy, right? Because wecan, we can do both. We can have
our feelings of like, if, forexample, if it's money, you
know, maybe your partner'sbusiness is slowing down, or
there's he made a decision thathas created some kind of
financial stress, right? You canstill have that sense of like,

(46:31):
Wow, I feel a bit unsafe inthis, and all these things are
coming up for me, around like,how are we going to do this? And
and am I going to have to missout on this? And what decisions
are we going to have to make?
You can bring all of that, allof that's going on for you, and
you can do it without making himfeel like you fucked up, yes.
And then now I'm gonna withholdlove from you,

Jacob O'Neill (46:52):
right? Yes.

Meg O'Neill (46:54):
And I just think that's such an important piece
that, yeah, you still youremotions. What's arising for
youth from any situation in therelationship is so still
welcome, and you can always dothat without making your partner
feel like they're fucked up orthey're wrong, or they did
something bad, yeah, or they'renot doing enough,

Jacob O'Neill (47:16):
and and like I said, for me, it was the fact
that Like you acknowledging,hey, even if you do fuck up,
even if you do fail, even if youdo make a silly choice, or you
overreach in an area, and youthink it's, you know, there's
been so many ways that I'vethought I'm so stupid for
wanting this. Why did I, why didI want? Why did I want to, want

(47:37):
to do this or grow that, grow inthis way? Why did I think I
could do that? And then it's notthat, it's that, ah, it's not
that I did it. It's that, oh, Imight lose you, or you might
leave. And it's you being ableto identify that and be like,
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
Like it literally, all of thoseother things start to, like,
quieten down, and the wound oflike, it doesn't matter how much

(48:03):
money I make, it doesn't matterhow big our house is, it doesn't
matter what sort of car wedrive, sorry, what cars in the
driveway? It doesn't matter howmany holidays we go on. Like,
none of that actually determineswhy you're with me. You are with
me because you love me, andthat's enough. I'm like, Ah Oh,

(48:25):
I thought I didn't realize that.
And that's not to say that I canthen sit there and do fucking
nothing. I don't just sit on thecouch and eat fucking chips. I
let that love crack me open. Idon't I don't use it as a kind
of a way to cool I'm off thehook. And

Meg O'Neill (48:46):
I feel I was having, I've been having lots of
conversations with clients andstudents recently about this,
that there's this piece in womenthat feel like, oh, but if I
love him through this, he mightthink this is okay. He might, he
might become complacent and justsit on the couch and, you know,
do whatever, or he mightcontinue to take risks or make
decisions that don't feel safefor me or whatever it might be.

(49:08):
And you know that this is whysome women feel like, Oh no, I
need to point out all the thingshe's doing wrong. I need to
point out where he's not beingenough so he can see, so he can
see where I want him to go. Butagain, through this
conversation, we've realized youhold your man in this feeling of
not being enough or not goodenough, when you're devoted to

(49:29):
pointing out everything you feellike he's not being and doing
enough of and that isn't apowerful place for a man to
rise. A man will not step upfrom that place that's gonna
hold him in where he is and

Jacob O'Neill (49:44):
he will most likely. Like, what I found was
like, I acknowledged. I waslike, Ah, I have been really
struggling. I haven't been like,I haven't got the structure in
place that I need for what Ineed next. Like, it was through
you loving me and accept. Takingme in it that those things were
were accepted, like, by myself.
I didn't have you didn't have totell me what was wrong. I got

(50:06):
to, like, okay, cool. Like, Ineed this, and I need this, and
I need this. Like, I haven'tbeen performing here, here and
here, all right, why? BecauseI'm pushing and I'm forcing, and
I need to actually take time formyself. Oh, but that's cat,
yeah. But you know that when youtake time for yourself, Jacob,
you actually cultivate the powerto then step back in with the
fresh set of eyes, and you'reable to overcome this. And okay,
you need to, you need to get onthe phone and talk to this

(50:29):
person. Okay, you need to havethis conversation. Okay, you
need to sort this out. Okay. Youmight need to ask for support in
this way. You might need to sortout this. You might need to get
a loan. You might need to paythis off first. You might need
to sell this. It's like youbecome so much more resourceful
when you know that you'realready enough. Yes, a man that
knows he's enough and is loved,back to that by a woman who sees

(50:51):
he's the true wound that he'swrestling with. Of I'm not
enough, therefore I can't havewhat I want, or I'm not worthy
of having it all. Like youliterally create a resourceful
man, because that's the thing.

(51:11):
Is like, yeah, if I was to failspectacularly and end up, you
know, with with nothing, andhave to, and have to pay, pay
debt. And it's like, Cool, allright, we sell everything and we
start again. We sell everything.
We we live within our means, andwe start again. Oh. And my head
is like, I move out and I go andhide in a fucking cave, and you

(51:32):
keep everything, and you neverlook at you ever again, and I
don't ever want to see you againbecause of the shame. And it's
like, I think a lot of men, notdeep down, but on the surface,
when this shame kicks in, andthis I'm not enough, I think
there's a part of a lot of menthat kind of want to be kicked
and kind of want to be kickedout and have that story affirmed

(51:53):
so they can play the victim.
You're literally, like, withthis fierce love and giving so
generously to that part of himthat doesn't feel worthy, you're
literally giving him. No, you'regiving the victim nothing to
stand on. And that like, If aman can't be a victim, then he

(52:14):
has to realize that, like, he isthe one that can do it, like, if
there's no place for the victimto stand like, the only other
option is to fucking win. Theonly other option is to rise
like, realistically. And that's,that's fucking, that's a, that's
a deep one for me. Yeah, fuck,that's, that's cool. I just

(52:41):
realized that it's like, yeah,when you love that part of me,
it now no longer gives a victimany any energy. And when he's
when that, when that archetypeis removed, I have to be with
what's there, yeah. And when Ibe with what's there, I then can
take full responsibility for mylife,

Meg O'Neill (53:00):
yes. And that's again, when I when we say, you
like you have the ability toeither make or break your man or
like, you know, help him riseinto, you know, his king energy,
or rise into his power or squashit. It's these kind of moments,
right? Are you, you know,pointing out when he's feeling

(53:21):
that way, pointing out all thethings he's done wrong, or are
you helping him be like you're aresourceful motherfucker. You've
got this, I believe in you, andI really want to speak into this
as well, that even if you know,we were taking an example or a
moment where you were really init, yeah, and you also brought,
oh, I could see it, and I was,you know, coming to you, but

(53:42):
then you also brought this to meas well. But I also want to talk
about how a woman can, justlike, even if a man isn't, like,
under a lot of stress right nowor isn't feeling that way, but
how she can also just like, takeinto consideration that that not
good enough wound. Or, like,yeah, not enough wound, yeah.

(54:03):
And how can she begin to reallysupport her man in that, or hold
her man in that? And one of thethings, one of the things for me
that I really teach and I reallyhope I practice in our
relationship, isacknowledgement. And I think
this is so powerful for a man toreceive. It's like acknowledging

(54:27):
where he is enough. Yes, right?
Can you acknowledge and justreflect black like I see all
you're doing. Because, again,sometimes we as women can be
like, we don't acknowledge, andwe're like, hey, but you haven't
taken me on the day, and you'renot doing this, and you're not
doing this, and you're not doingthat, and you not being like
this again. It doesn't mean wehave to push those desires down,
but can we actually reallyacknowledge and get into this

(54:50):
practice of being a woman thatacknowledges her man like every
fucking day, like and reflectsback to him every fucking day?
Like, I see you. I see the workyou've been doing. You know,
sometimes you'll just be like,going into your office and be
like, Hey, I see you workingreally fucking hard, and I'm I
feel really supported by you, orhey, I'm just like, You're such

(55:11):
a fucking visionary, and I'm soproud of all that you're
creating. And just like thesepieces of acknowledgement, where
you can offer the offer them,your man, this moment of like,
Hey, I see you and you, what youwhat you're doing, is
acknowledged, and it is enough.

Jacob O'Neill (55:30):
Thank you. It's like, it's a form of, like, what
I'm hearing in that and like,what I received from you is
like, I'm grateful, grateful forwhat you do, and I know that
you're doing it for not justyourself. You're doing it for
us. Yeah, and when you say thosethings, it's so and that is like
the other side of the when theworthiness, when the wound is
really flared up, you, you don'tlist off all the things of like,

(55:53):
why they're worthy. You're like,No, listen, you're wrong. It's
like, hey, like, I'm not gonnaleave like you, you address
what's there. But then whenthat, when the worthiness wound
isn't sort of flared up, andthere's ways to kind of
cultivate and support him inmaintaining the story that he is
enough, which is the true storyyou do. You offer your
gratitude, you reflect back thethings that you see in him that

(56:16):
he may not realize you'reseeing, and that has him feeling
deeply understood, and that hashim being like, Ah, she
understands. The deeper, why?
Yeah, and the deeper. For what?
What, you know, it's, why am Idoing this? But for what? Am I
doing it? I'm doing it. I'mdoing it for you, for me, for

(56:37):
our family, for for the greatervision. I'm doing this for the
for the world. I want the worldto be a better place. I can feel
that. And I think a lot of mencan, at times, feel guilty for
wanting to lead and serve in agreater way. And I know I can.
And when you get behind me and,like, breathe, you know,

(57:00):
literally, like, like, breathelife into me with with
gratitude. It's like, oh, you'vegot my back. And I think there's
the bit of stigma around a womansupporting her man, because it
seems as though she's like, thethe one behind him, or she's the
one that's not not as prominentin the relationship, or she has
to play small for him to begrand, but that's not the truth.

(57:25):
It's not it's not the way, likethe way that I see it is that
you are able to, like play thatrole in my life. But that's not
the only role you play. You alsostand there and I support you,
and we support each other bybeing playing those roles
appropriately.

Meg O'Neill (57:43):
And I really, if there's anything, if there's one
thing, you know, you take fromthis episode, I wanted to be
that as a woman, that are youacknowledging and honoring the
sacred role you play in yourman's life, of supporting him,
of, you know, helping him stepup into deeper and deeper layer,
layers of his power of remindinghim what a bad motherfucker he

(58:06):
is. Like, are you owning thatrole, and then how are you doing
at that role right now? Yeah,because a lot of the time we're
not even realizing that's a rolewe get to play. For years, I
wasn't conscious of that role,and now it's something that I'm
like, I'm I'm devoted to. It's adevotional practice for me. Just

(58:27):
like being a businesswoman is adevotional practice. I show up
and i i Be a businesswoman, Icreate, I do these things. It's
like, how am I going it? At, youknow, being, being this, playing
this sacred role in my in mymarriage and my relationship,

Jacob O'Neill (58:43):
I reckon you're doing pretty well. Thank you.
You're doing amazing. And it's ajourney, right? I think that,
yeah, to temper all of this andsort of wrap this up, it's like
it's a journey. It's not aboutgetting it right all the time,
but it's about working on it.
It's about developing thisskill, or developing the
comfortability in this role thatwe're playing for each other,
especially like speaking to themen, like you've got to develop

(59:06):
the the awareness of like, ofthis, not enough wound just like
women have, like, Yeah, I knowthat I feel like I'm too much,
and I want to work out how tonot feel this or not Feel this,
but more so move through this.
And same with men. It's like,Ah, this means I have to be held
by my Oh, the feminine can'thold the masculine. We live on a

(59:30):
thing called Mother Earthdickheads. Like you are going to
be held by her. Like, where doyou think you come from? You
come from a womb. Shut the up.
Like we have to, and I'm sayingthis to myself, but like, yeah,
we have to, we have to reconcilethat we come from the feminine,
and we are here to honor thefeminine, and part of that is
letting her hold us as weremember our wholeness. And you
have a responsibility, a sacredresponsibility, to lean into

(59:54):
that men and on the. But otherside, women like you have such a
beautiful, beautiful opportunityto create some of the most
powerful, open hearted, willing,compassionate, tender, kind,
loving husbands, fathers,brothers, sons that this world
has ever seen. Should you chooseto take on that responsibility

(01:00:17):
and lean in with that fiercewarrior, like, love

Meg O'Neill (01:00:25):
that last piece you just shared around, like, yeah,
that this just isn't about I'mloving him in this moment. Or
like, I'm or not even like,sometimes we can focus this
conversation. I want to love himso he's better for me. Yeah.
Like, yeah. That's part of it.
Like, if you learn to love yourman in this way, you will get to
experience a version of him thatmaybe you didn't even know was

(01:00:46):
possible, a version of him thatyou were aching for. And this is
so beyond that. It's like, Whatkind of father is this is a well
loved man? What kind of partneris a well loved man? What kind
of member of our community is awell loved man. What kind of
leader is a well loved man?
Like, you know, what? What, whatlineage is a well loved man?

(01:01:07):
What creating? What legacy is heleaving on the planet? Like, you
know? That's, that's, again,this is like Union and co
creation, and when we get to bea part of that, what a what a
gift, what a gift, what a gift,what a gift.

Jacob O'Neill (01:01:21):
Totally. It starts with us, but it's so much
bigger than us. I think that'ssuch a beautiful way to look at
it, like it starts with us. Itstarts with how we choose to
step into these moments, andthen when we do, we realize that
this is in service to somethingso much greater than what's just
here, yes, but it has to starthere. It has to start here in
the present moment with what'sactually alive, and that's what

(01:01:44):
a relationship requires. Myfriends, yes,

Meg O'Neill (01:01:48):
okay, anything else you want to add?

Jacob O'Neill (01:01:50):
I'm just really grateful for this conversation,
and I think there's like, such aI also just want to honor anyone
that's going through it, likewhether it's a woman that's
learning these, this, this, thisrole, and deepening into it, or
if it's a man that's reallystruggling with his worthiness
wound, and I just want toacknowledge it, like these

(01:02:11):
things do require time andprocess, but if you are willing
to be with it, you will movethrough it, and you can retract
and go back into whatever issafe for you. But there will
come a time where you have toface off with it and like, I
just want you to know that it'sit's it's safe to do that. It's

(01:02:33):
safe to fuck up. It's safe to toto make silly mistakes, whether
that's in business, whetherthat's in relationship, whether
that's in your own personalpractice, it's safe to it's safe
to make mistakes, and it's safeto be loved when you have made
those mistakes, and it is safefor you to then do something

(01:02:55):
about those mistakes from aplace of wholeness, not from a
place of I need to never do thatagain. More so from a place of
ah, even if that happens, I'mstill loved. Well, of course,
I'm going to go back and learnhow to do it better. Of course,
I'm going to engage from adeeper place of awareness. Now
I'm going to go out and continueto to offer more and give more

(01:03:15):
and and really learn how toreceive more. So I don't have to
wait for these initiations tocome to me. I can continue
Leaning, leaning into them. So,yeah, I just really want to love
up on the people that are in it,because I know it can feel like
there's no way out, and even ifit feels like nothing's working,

(01:03:36):
it's, it really is the that'sthe flavor of initiation. It's
here to really, reallydeconstruct your identity and
deconstruct who you thought youwere, really to reveal what's
beneath that, which is an evendeeper, truer, more resourceful
and powerful version ofyourself. So keep on going. I
see you and I yeah, I reallyappreciate the work that

(01:03:58):
everyone does, especially you,my love, and the women that
you're creating, you know,creating, you're creating the
women that you are supporting indeepening into these roles that
are going to, you know, I know,serve men on such a deep level.
Well,

Meg O'Neill (01:04:16):
I'm, I'm so excited about what I'm creating right
now, and for any woman that hasloved this conversation and
really wants to own this sacredrole of evoking the best from a
man and loving a man in thisfierce, ruthless warrior s way.
I'm running a course, orlaunching a course right now
called The Art of loving a man,and I truly have this feels so

(01:04:39):
sacred this course, it feelslike such a gift I get to offer
men women. And then, you know,the ripple is into men and our
planet. And, yeah, I'm reallyfucking excited about it. If you
are listening to this before the27th of June, you've got time to
jump inside with us. Link willbe in the show notes here. Are.

(01:05:00):
It's four weeks where it's goingto be live. So there's six calls
over four weeks, there's goingto be Q and A's with J, oh yeah,
Jacob, and then,

Jacob O'Neill (01:05:10):
yeah, we've got to work that out. And

Meg O'Neill (01:05:13):
yeah, it's just going to be powerful, powerful.
I've just launched it, andthere's 20 women inside already.
So this is going to be a move.
Women ready to really own thissacred role. So please fucking
come and join us. Yeah. Link isin the show notes, or just come
and find me on Instagram.

Jacob O'Neill (01:05:27):
This is your work. My love. I really feel
Yeah. This is like, yeah, I feelyour power in it. And, um, yeah,
I'm living proof. I'm livingproof that, uh, yeah, loved man,

Meg O'Neill (01:05:38):
yeah. And I want to acknowledge I wasn't always good
at this. This this is somethingthat I wasn't just born knowing
how love men really well, like,this is something that I have,
I've learned this art form, andI've been devoted to this art
form for, you know, the last

Unknown (01:05:51):
five, five years, yeah, this has been a journey. This
art

Meg O'Neill (01:05:55):
form up sometimes.
And this

Jacob O'Neill (01:05:56):
isn't about being like, you've played the mother
role, you've played the Army'scoach role. You've played all
these different things, and noneof them fit. None of them fit.
This is a sacred role that isbestowed upon your lover. Man
like this is a sacred role thatyou get to play as as lover.
This isn't about being hismother or any of those other
bullshit. This is a sacred role,and it comes from a devotion to

(01:06:18):
love. So

Meg O'Neill (01:06:19):
well I say, I say that on in some of the marketing
for this course, like goodbye,being his coach or mother. Like
hello, evoking the best fromhim. Goodbye, coaching him,
hello, evoking the best fromhim. Which is, you know, we as
women, I often say, are like thetorch bearers for the for
relationships. So we can seewhere we want our men to go and
the relationship to go. Andsometimes they can't see it yet,

(01:06:42):
and sometimes we think the onlyway to do that is to coach them
there or mother them there. Butthere is another way, yes, and I
want to teach you that otherway. So come play. Let's go.
Thanks, my man. This was Yeah,such a beautiful conversation.
Yeah. Thank

Jacob O'Neill (01:06:57):
you so much. I am yeah, I'm learning so much about
myself. Thank you. Thank you.
And yeah, I love

Meg O'Neill (01:07:05):
you. Our baby was kicking heaps during that too. I
cannot wait to meet

Jacob O'Neill (01:07:09):
that baby. So much.

Meg O'Neill (01:07:12):
Okay, love you. I

Jacob O'Neill (01:07:13):
love you guys.
We'll see you soon. Peace, yo,yo, yo. Thank you so much for
tuning in to another episode ofsex, love and everything in
between. Now, if you'd like tostay connected with Meg and I,
you can head on over toInstagram and follow me at the
Jacob O'Neal. And where canpeople find you lover, at

Meg O'Neill (01:07:32):
the dot. Meg, dot.
O amazing.

Jacob O'Neill (01:07:37):
And, yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all
other information in regards towhat we've got coming up. And
yeah, we're super, supergrateful that you guys for
taking the time to listen in tothis podcast. If you do have any
topics or any questions like Isaid, hit us up on Instagram,
and we'll see what we can do.
Apart from that, have abeautiful, beautiful rest of
your day.

Meg O'Neill (01:07:55):
Thanks for being here. Big, big. Love you.
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