Gaslight to Gold Series: “Why can’t I stop thinking about him?”

“Why can’t I stop thinking about him?”

I used to ask myself that every day—while brushing my teeth, while driving, while trying to sleep. He was everywhere in my mind, even after I blocked him.

But here's what I want you to know:

Your brain isn’t obsessed. It’s injured.

What you're experiencing is trauma looping, not longing.

When you’ve been trauma-bonded, your nervous system links “love” with danger, inconsistency, and adrenaline. It’s not the person you’re hooked on—it’s the chemical chaos your body mistook for connection.

You’re not weak. You’re detoxing.

And there’s a path out.

Try this: Name the loop, then ground the body.

Say aloud: “This is a trauma loop. It’s not truth. My body is safe now.”

Then breathe in deeply—hold—and slowly exhale, like you're releasing a ghost.

Do that three times. Each breath sends a signal: We’re not in danger anymore.

It may not silence the thoughts at first—but it starts teaching your body the difference between survival and safety.

And that’s the gold in the gaslight.

You’re not crazy for thinking about him.

But you deserve to think about you more.

Stay with it. You're coming home.