Generational trauma influences many of us without our awareness, shaping our behaviors and emotional responses in profound ways. By understanding these inherited patterns, we can take steps to break the cycle, heal, and create healthier legacies for future generations.
• Defining generational trauma and its impact on families
• Recognizing signs and behavioral patterns of inherited trauma
• Steps to breaking the cycle of trauma in one's life
• The importance of seeking support and creating new traditions
• The long-term ripple effect of personal healing on future generations
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Episode Transcript
Hey, motives, it's your girl.
Tone Motivates back withanother episode of Shades of
Tone, and today we're going tobe chatting about breaking
generational cycles andovercoming inherited trauma.
So let's set the stage.
What is generational trauma?
Generational trauma is likethat old box in your storage.
(00:59):
You didn't pack it, you didn'tput it there, but somehow you've
inherited it and now it's yourjob to decide what to do with it
.
Simply put, it's the emotionaland psychological baggage passed
down through families, like anold hand-me-down you didn't ask
for but feel obligated to keep.
Some examples are fear ofscarcity, which is like
(01:23):
financial trauma, or struggleswith trust from histories of
betrayal.
So think about a habit orbelief in your family that
you've questioned.
Could it be rooted in somethingdeeper than just tradition?
Hmm, now let's chat a littlebit about how trauma is passed
(01:43):
down With the science ofinherited trauma.
Imagine your DNA is like arecipe.
Trauma adds spicy chili powderto it.
Sometimes you don't evenrealize it until you take a bite
Now with epigenetics.
Stress and trauma can influencegene expression and behavior
across generations.
Can influence gene expressionand behavior across generations,
(02:07):
family dynamics and behaviors.
Trauma can manifest in familyhabits, emotional suppression In
our family.
We don't talk about feelings.
My family was big on this.
My mom's idea of apology wasbuying a CD, pillow magazine or
something else she knew I wouldforgive her for, without
actually saying I apologize.
(02:27):
As I got older, I promisedmyself as a kid that I would
never sweep things under the rug.
When I got older, as an adult,I realized, although my family
is filled with so muchinformation we're very
informative and we speak kind ofregularly Difficult times bring
silence or someone ignoring theother and one day just starting
(02:48):
to talk again.
To this day this grinds mygears, but at the least everyone
knows I'm going to say what Ineed to say regardless, and for
now I just hope that these stepsare knocking down the wall of
that norm that's been concretefor so many years.
Now I can at least say thatwith my kids they know that
(03:10):
mommy will say that she's wrong,always prove your case, and
things like that.
So I know that in my immediatefamily, the family that I
created, that this does apply,but I just hope that it would
apply more to my extended family.
So again, trauma can manifest infamily habits.
It could be emotionalsuppression and overachievement
(03:35):
or fear of failure.
If not perfect, you're notenough.
Next, we have cultural andhistorical trauma.
Examples of this could behistorical oppression or
discrimination, war, poverty ordisplacement.
I challenge you.
So think about one family ruleor saying you grew up hearing.
(03:56):
Write it down and ask yourselfwhere did this come from and
does it still serve me?
I'm going to help you recognizethe cycles in your life.
So first, we have signs ofgenerational trauma, behavioral
patterns.
When you're triggered, are youdefensive?
Are you aggressive?
Do you fear taking risks?
(04:16):
Do you talk yourself out ofthings you know you deserve?
Do you have difficultyexpressing emotions?
Do you sit quietly or assumehow you feel doesn't matter?
Do you have relationshipstruggles?
You keep your distance sopeople don't get too close to
(04:38):
you.
Do you repeat toxic dynamics?
Do you meet the same kind ofpeople over and over again?
Do you avoid vulnerability?
Do you avoid getting to knowothers?
So, as an excuse not to bevulnerable, let's reflect.
So grab a journal, notebook orpaper and write down three
(04:58):
recurring patterns you'venoticed in your family.
Are there similarities betweenyour parents, grandparents and
your own life?
For me and my immediate family,my mom has four girls and was a
single mom.
We always had enough, but wedeveloped an always tomorrow
mentality.
We can always pay a bill nextweek.
Buy those shoes.
(05:19):
Now Turns out.
My mom helped us develop thisfrom going without so many years
while raising us on her own.
Now.
She did have great, great,great times, but she also had
some low times, which was thepolar opposite of the great
experiences that she had.
She by all means deserveswhatever she wants, but is it
(05:42):
appropriate at that time, thetrauma of neglect, isolation
running for her life and beingin survival mode more times than
not?
Why are her to be that way?
Let's chat about breaking thecycle.
Step one is awareness.
You can't fix what you don'trecognize.
(06:02):
Start by observing the patternswithout judgment.
Typically, the things thattrigger you are a reflection of
what you need to recognize andwork on.
I have a fun exercise for youCreate a family tree of patterns
.
Map out emotional tendencies orrepeated behaviors across
generations.
You might notice someeye-opening trends.
(06:24):
Step two let's rewrite thenarrative.
Think of yourself as an editor.
You can't delete the story, butyou can rewrite the ending.
Practice, practice, practice,practice.
Challenge beliefs that don'tserve you Ask yourself is this
fear really mine or did Iinherit it?
(06:45):
If it's not mine, I can let go.
Step three seek support, therapyand professional help.
A therapist is like a tourguide for your emotional history
.
They can help you navigate thetough terrain.
Like I always say, I'm only afew steps ahead of you as your
(07:07):
tour guide.
Now you can also talk totrusted family members and have
compassionate conversationsabout the past to better
understand its impact.
Step four create new traditions.
Break old habits by buildingnew ones.
If your family avoided emotions, start a gratitude journal or
(07:29):
have weekly check-in chats,challenge what's one tradition
or habit you'd like to start foryourself or your family.
Write it down and commit to it.
Let's reflect a little bit onour future and talk about the
(07:49):
ripple effect of healing.
Healing yourself is likeplanting a tree.
You you might not enjoy all theshade, but your future
generations will thank you forit.
Breaking cycles is veryempowering.
Every step you take to break acycle is a gift to yourself and
(08:11):
those who come after you.
I have another prompt for you.
Think of one cycle you'vecommitted to breaking.
How would that decision impactyour future and the people
around you?
You didn't choose the woundsyou inherited, but you can
(08:32):
choose to heal them.
By breaking cycles, you're notjust changing your life.
You're changing the story forgenerations to come.
Now, if this episode resonatedwith you, share it with someone
you care about and let me knowwhat's one cycle you're ready to
break.
I love to celebrate yourjourney, as always, always, love
(08:56):
.
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