November 18, 2024 • 12 mins
Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, only to end up feeling like you're measuring your life against a seemingly flawless highlight reel? Join us as we unravel this digital-age dilemma, inspired by the wise words of Brene Brown. We share personal stories and reflections on how easy it is to get caught in the trap of comparison, leaving us with self-doubt and questioning our worth. Together, we explore the psychological allure of social approval and the emotional toll that constant comparison can have on our self-esteem.
But don't worry, there's a way out of this comparison conundrum. Shift gears with us from self-doubt to self-love, as we redefine success on our own terms and embrace the beauty of self-validation. We'll guide you through the process of recognizing that you are enough, just as you are, and how to stop seeking validation from likes and followers. Reflect on your experiences and learn how to foster a healthier, more authentic relationship with yourself, embracing your flaws and celebrating your unique journey. Let's break free from the need for external approval and step into a more fulfilling, self-approved life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, motives, how we feeling today.
I hope you're feeling great, Ihope you are living good and
let's jump right in.
So today we're going to talkabout letting go of comparison
and fostering self-love in asocial media age.
So y'all know, I always got tohave a quote for you, right so?
(00:24):
By Brene Brown.
She said because true belongingonly happens when we present
our authentic and perfect selvesto the world, our sense of
belonging can never be greaterthan our level of
self-acceptance.
And that's frompositivepsychologycom, and I
love that quote because it meansa lot and you can take it in
(00:45):
different ways.
So I'm going to tell you alittle story about the trap of
comparison in the social mediaarea.
So I remember scrolling throughInstagram one evening and
within 10 minutes I hadconvinced myself that every
entrepreneur was more successful, more disciplined and way more
(01:05):
put together than I was.
Ever had one of those moments.
Well, today we're diving intoone of the biggest roadblocks to
self-love in our digital age.
Comparison, social media has afunny way of making us feel like
we're constantly falling short,whether it's comparing our
looks, our careers or even ourdaily routines.
(01:28):
But here's the truth Comparisonis the thief of joy In this
episode we're going to talkabout how to let go of
comparison and embrace self-love, even in a world that's
constantly showing us filteredversions of perfection.
Even in a world that'sconstantly showing us filtered
versions of perfection.
So the nature of comparison.
It's human nature to compareourselves to others.
(01:51):
We've been doing it long beforeInstagram, but social media has
taken it to a whole new level,honey.
Suddenly we're not justcomparing ourselves to the
people in our lives, but tomillions of strangers from all
around the world.
A little bit about psychologybehind comparison, in simple
terms.
So our brains are wired to seekvalidation and social approval.
(02:13):
So it's easy to fall into thetrap of measuring our worth
against what we see online.
But here's the catch we'reoften comparing our behind the
scenes to someone else'shighlight reel.
Take a second to think about arecent time you felt bad after
scrolling through social media.
(02:34):
What were you comparingyourself to?
Was it someone's career,appearance or lifestyle?
How did it make you feel?
Hmm, so let's break down thatillusion.
We have to remember that socialmedia is a curated space.
(02:54):
People show their best moments,their achievements, their
perfectly filtered vacations,not their struggles or
insecurities.
Comparing ourselves to thisillusion of perfection is like
comparing apples to oranges.
It just will not work.
So let's chat a little bitabout the negative impact of
(03:16):
comparison on self-love.
It takes an emotional toll.
Constant comparison can erodeour self-esteem.
It makes us question our worth,our progress and even our
identity.
You start thinking why don't Ihave what they have?
And before you know it, you'respiraling into self-doubt.
(03:36):
I remember seeing a friend postabout a huge family milestone
while I was in the middle of atough breakup and it hit me hard
.
I started doubting everydecision I made and if it was
the right one.
I love my friend but couldn'thelp think about the shambles
relationship that was a part ofmy life at that moment.
Comparison can become a viciouscycle.
(04:00):
The more we compare, the worsewe feel, and then we go back for
more validation.
It's like trying to quench yourthirst with salt water it just
makes you more thirsty.
Boo.
I encourage you to reflect onhow comparison has impacted your
self-love.
How often do you catch yourselfcomparing your life to someone
else's?
(04:20):
How does that comparison affecthow you feel about yourself?
Let's shift our focus fromcomparison to self-love.
So the antidote to comparisonis self-love.
When we love ourselves for whowe are flaws and all.
We stop needing to measureourselves against others.
(04:42):
We realize we're enough just aswe are.
Redefine your success by reallythinking of what success and
happiness look like for youpersonally.
Instead of measuring yourselfby someone else's standards,
take a step back and askyourself what does success look
like for me?
What makes me happy?
Let's discuss the importance ofself-validation.
(05:05):
We need to stop seekingapproval from others and start
giving it to ourselves.
You don't need likes orfollowers to prove your worth.
You're already valuable just asyou are, and that goes for me
too.
Okay, life is a marathon, sojust try to do your best every
day.
Challenge alert, challengealert.
(05:28):
I challenge you to take a breakfrom social media for a day or
a week and see how it affectsyour self-esteem.
How do you feel when you're notconstantly seeing what others
are doing?
Does it help you focus more onyourself?
I know personally, for me itdoes.
I'm on social media to postcontent.
(05:49):
I might scroll some of it,maybe an hour or two a day, and
that is it, boo.
I'm on it to support my fellowentrepreneurs, maybe like a
baby's picture, and I am out,okay.
So, besides my social mediacontent and promoting my podcast
and my other endeavors, I mustsay I do feel like I am happier
(06:11):
and it feels good not to indulgein the gossip or irrelevant
social media stuff anymore.
I have a few practical steps tolet go of comparison.
Step one curate your socialmedia feed.
Start by cleaning up yoursocial media.
Unfollow or mute accounts thatmake you feel bad about yourself
and follow people who inspireand uplift you instead.
(06:33):
Step two practice gratitude.
Gratitude is a powerful tool tohelp shift your mindset.
When you focus on what you haverather than what you lack, it
becomes easier to appreciateyour own life.
Try starting a gratitudejournal where you write down
three things you're thankful foreach day.
(06:53):
Step three celebrate your wins.
Stop downplaying yourachievements.
Take time to celebrate your ownvictories, no matter how small
they may seem.
Your journey is unique andevery step forward is worth
acknowledging.
Step four focus on yourprogress, not perfection.
(07:15):
Remember, no one's life isperfect, no matter how it looks
online.
Instead of chasing perfection,focus on your own progress.
Ask yourself am I growing, am Ilearning?
That's what truly matters.
I push you and encourage you totake a few minutes to write
down three things you love aboutyourself.
(07:37):
What are your strengths?
What makes you unique.
Embrace those qualities andremind yourself of them when
comparison creeps in.
Let's foster self-love in asocial media age.
Now, the power of affirmations.
Now y'all know how I feel aboutan affirmation.
Y'all know how I feel about anaffirmation.
(07:58):
You might as well call meaffirmation.
I have a list of affirmationshanging.
It's the first thing I see.
The last thing I see at night.
I do not play about myaffirmations, babe.
Positive affirmations are agreat way to boost self-love.
When you catch yourself in acomparison trap, counter those
thoughts with affirmations likeI am enough, I am proud of my
journey or I celebrate myuniqueness.
(08:20):
Build self-compassion.
Self-love starts withself-compassion.
Be kind to yourself when youfall into the comparison trap.
It's normal, but remindyourself that you're doing your
best and that is enough.
(08:40):
Be mindful of your social mediause.
Social media isn't the enemy,but how we use it matters.
Be mindful of how much time youspend online and how it makes
you feel.
If scrolling makes you feelworse, it's okay to take a step
(09:02):
back.
Find inspiration, notcomparison.
Instead of comparing yourselfto others, use social media as a
source of inspiration.
Follow people who motivate you,not because you want to be them
, but because they encourage youto be the best version of
yourself.
Now here's a few real lifestrategies to help you embrace
(09:26):
your journey.
So there was a point where Irealized that I was constantly
comparing myself to others andit wasn't helping me grow.
It was holding me back.
I decided to focus on my ownpath, and that changed
everything.
Reflect on your own journey.
What are some of the milestonesyou reached that you're proud
of?
Take a moment to acknowledgehow far you've come, even if
(09:47):
you're not where you want to beat, out where you want to be at.
Celebrate uniqueness.
We all have our own timelines.
Someone else's success doesn'ttake away from yours.
Embrace your unique path andremember that you're exactly
where you need to be in yourjourney.
Spend the next week focusing onyour own progress, not on what
(10:11):
others are doing.
Set a personal goal, no matterhow small, and work towards it.
At the end of the week,celebrate what you've achieved.
Feel free to message us and letus know how it went.
So let's reclaim our self-worthbaby.
We've explored how comparisoncan erode our self-love,
especially in the social mediadriven world, but we've also
(10:34):
learned how to let go of thosecomparisons and embrace
self-love by focusing on our ownunique journeys.
Remember your worth isn'tdetermined by likes, followers
or anyone else's opinion.
You are enough just as you are,and the more you love yourself,
the less you'll feel the needto compare yourself to others.
(10:54):
Comparison might be a naturalpart of life, but it doesn't
have to control us.
Let's take back our power aboutfocusing on what makes us
unique and celebrating ourindividual journeys.
This week, I challenge you.
I challenge you.
(11:15):
I challenge you to, wheneveryou catch yourself comparing,
pause and replace that thoughtwith the affirmation of
self-love.
Watch how your perspective andyour self-esteem begins to shift
.
I'll see you guys next week and, as always, always love.
Hey, motives, how we feeling today.
I hope you're feeling great, Ihope you are living good and
let's jump right in.
So today we're going to talkabout letting go of comparison
and fostering self-love in asocial media age.
So y'all know, I always got tohave a quote for you, right so?
(00:24):
By Brene Brown.
She said because true belongingonly happens when we present
our authentic and perfect selvesto the world, our sense of
belonging can never be greaterthan our level of
self-acceptance.
And that's frompositivepsychologycom, and I
love that quote because it meansa lot and you can take it in
(00:45):
different ways.
So I'm going to tell you alittle story about the trap of
comparison in the social mediaarea.
So I remember scrolling throughInstagram one evening and
within 10 minutes I hadconvinced myself that every
entrepreneur was more successful, more disciplined and way more
(01:05):
put together than I was.
Ever had one of those moments.
Well, today we're diving intoone of the biggest roadblocks to
self-love in our digital age.
Comparison, social media has afunny way of making us feel like
we're constantly falling short,whether it's comparing our
looks, our careers or even ourdaily routines.
(01:28):
But here's the truth Comparisonis the thief of joy In this
episode we're going to talkabout how to let go of
comparison and embrace self-love, even in a world that's
constantly showing us filteredversions of perfection.
Even in a world that'sconstantly showing us filtered
versions of perfection.
So the nature of comparison.
It's human nature to compareourselves to others.
(01:51):
We've been doing it long beforeInstagram, but social media has
taken it to a whole new level,honey.
Suddenly we're not justcomparing ourselves to the
people in our lives, but tomillions of strangers from all
around the world.
A little bit about psychologybehind comparison, in simple
terms.
So our brains are wired to seekvalidation and social approval.
(02:13):
So it's easy to fall into thetrap of measuring our worth
against what we see online.
But here's the catch we'reoften comparing our behind the
scenes to someone else'shighlight reel.
Take a second to think about arecent time you felt bad after
scrolling through social media.
(02:34):
What were you comparingyourself to?
Was it someone's career,appearance or lifestyle?
How did it make you feel?
Hmm, so let's break down thatillusion.
We have to remember that socialmedia is a curated space.
(02:54):
People show their best moments,their achievements, their
perfectly filtered vacations,not their struggles or
insecurities.
Comparing ourselves to thisillusion of perfection is like
comparing apples to oranges.
It just will not work.
So let's chat a little bitabout the negative impact of
(03:16):
comparison on self-love.
It takes an emotional toll.
Constant comparison can erodeour self-esteem.
It makes us question our worth,our progress and even our
identity.
You start thinking why don't Ihave what they have?
And before you know it, you'respiraling into self-doubt.
(03:36):
I remember seeing a friend postabout a huge family milestone
while I was in the middle of atough breakup and it hit me hard
.
I started doubting everydecision I made and if it was
the right one.
I love my friend but couldn'thelp think about the shambles
relationship that was a part ofmy life at that moment.
Comparison can become a viciouscycle.
(04:00):
The more we compare, the worsewe feel, and then we go back for
more validation.
It's like trying to quench yourthirst with salt water it just
makes you more thirsty.
Boo.
I encourage you to reflect onhow comparison has impacted your
self-love.
How often do you catch yourselfcomparing your life to someone
else's?
(04:20):
How does that comparison affecthow you feel about yourself?
Let's shift our focus fromcomparison to self-love.
So the antidote to comparisonis self-love.
When we love ourselves for whowe are flaws and all.
We stop needing to measureourselves against others.
(04:42):
We realize we're enough just aswe are.
Redefine your success by reallythinking of what success and
happiness look like for youpersonally.
Instead of measuring yourselfby someone else's standards,
take a step back and askyourself what does success look
like for me?
What makes me happy?
Let's discuss the importance ofself-validation.
(05:05):
We need to stop seekingapproval from others and start
giving it to ourselves.
You don't need likes orfollowers to prove your worth.
You're already valuable just asyou are, and that goes for me
too.
Okay, life is a marathon, sojust try to do your best every
day.
Challenge alert, challengealert.
(05:28):
I challenge you to take a breakfrom social media for a day or
a week and see how it affectsyour self-esteem.
How do you feel when you're notconstantly seeing what others
are doing?
Does it help you focus more onyourself?
I know personally, for me itdoes.
I'm on social media to postcontent.
(05:49):
I might scroll some of it,maybe an hour or two a day, and
that is it, boo.
I'm on it to support my fellowentrepreneurs, maybe like a
baby's picture, and I am out,okay.
So, besides my social mediacontent and promoting my podcast
and my other endeavors, I mustsay I do feel like I am happier
(06:11):
and it feels good not to indulgein the gossip or irrelevant
social media stuff anymore.
I have a few practical steps tolet go of comparison.
Step one curate your socialmedia feed.
Start by cleaning up yoursocial media.
Unfollow or mute accounts thatmake you feel bad about yourself
and follow people who inspireand uplift you instead.
(06:33):
Step two practice gratitude.
Gratitude is a powerful tool tohelp shift your mindset.
When you focus on what you haverather than what you lack, it
becomes easier to appreciateyour own life.
Try starting a gratitudejournal where you write down
three things you're thankful foreach day.
(06:53):
Step three celebrate your wins.
Stop downplaying yourachievements.
Take time to celebrate your ownvictories, no matter how small
they may seem.
Your journey is unique andevery step forward is worth
acknowledging.
Step four focus on yourprogress, not perfection.
(07:15):
Remember, no one's life isperfect, no matter how it looks
online.
Instead of chasing perfection,focus on your own progress.
Ask yourself am I growing, am Ilearning?
That's what truly matters.
I push you and encourage you totake a few minutes to write
down three things you love aboutyourself.
(07:37):
What are your strengths?
What makes you unique.
Embrace those qualities andremind yourself of them when
comparison creeps in.
Let's foster self-love in asocial media age.
Now, the power of affirmations.
Now y'all know how I feel aboutan affirmation.
Y'all know how I feel about anaffirmation.
(07:58):
You might as well call meaffirmation.
I have a list of affirmationshanging.
It's the first thing I see.
The last thing I see at night.
I do not play about myaffirmations, babe.
Positive affirmations are agreat way to boost self-love.
When you catch yourself in acomparison trap, counter those
thoughts with affirmations likeI am enough, I am proud of my
journey or I celebrate myuniqueness.
(08:20):
Build self-compassion.
Self-love starts withself-compassion.
Be kind to yourself when youfall into the comparison trap.
It's normal, but remindyourself that you're doing your
best and that is enough.
(08:40):
Be mindful of your social mediause.
Social media isn't the enemy,but how we use it matters.
Be mindful of how much time youspend online and how it makes
you feel.
If scrolling makes you feelworse, it's okay to take a step
(09:02):
back.
Find inspiration, notcomparison.
Instead of comparing yourselfto others, use social media as a
source of inspiration.
Follow people who motivate you,not because you want to be them
, but because they encourage youto be the best version of
yourself.
Now here's a few real lifestrategies to help you embrace
(09:26):
your journey.
So there was a point where Irealized that I was constantly
comparing myself to others andit wasn't helping me grow.
It was holding me back.
I decided to focus on my ownpath, and that changed
everything.
Reflect on your own journey.
What are some of the milestonesyou reached that you're proud
of?
Take a moment to acknowledgehow far you've come, even if
(09:47):
you're not where you want to beat, out where you want to be at.
Celebrate uniqueness.
We all have our own timelines.
Someone else's success doesn'ttake away from yours.
Embrace your unique path andremember that you're exactly
where you need to be in yourjourney.
Spend the next week focusing onyour own progress, not on what
(10:11):
others are doing.
Set a personal goal, no matterhow small, and work towards it.
At the end of the week,celebrate what you've achieved.
Feel free to message us and letus know how it went.
So let's reclaim our self-worthbaby.
We've explored how comparisoncan erode our self-love,
especially in the social mediadriven world, but we've also
(10:34):
learned how to let go of thosecomparisons and embrace
self-love by focusing on our ownunique journeys.
Remember your worth isn'tdetermined by likes, followers
or anyone else's opinion.
You are enough just as you are,and the more you love yourself,
the less you'll feel the needto compare yourself to others.
(10:54):
Comparison might be a naturalpart of life, but it doesn't
have to control us.
Let's take back our power aboutfocusing on what makes us
unique and celebrating ourindividual journeys.
This week, I challenge you.
I challenge you.
(11:15):
I challenge you to, wheneveryou catch yourself comparing,
pause and replace that thoughtwith the affirmation of
self-love.
Watch how your perspective andyour self-esteem begins to shift
.
I'll see you guys next week and, as always, always love.
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