November 6, 2024 • 31 mins
What would happen if you stopped living in the shadow of your past and fully embraced who you are today? Do you see how you've grown? Changed? Do you appreciate how far you've come? Let's take time to really see us for who we are and not define ourselves by who we use to be.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sharise Parviz (00:11):
Today I am wanting to chat with you about
recognizing or appreciating whoyou are today.
Who you are today, and are youseeing who you really are today
or are you still seeing youthrough the glasses of who you
(00:33):
were?
So this morning I wasmeditating and this came to my
mind and I was thinking aboutall the different ways that I've
changed.
Okay, I lied, I'm not, I wasn'treally meditating, I was in the
bathroom, but that's a form ofmeditation too.
So there you go.
It can be.
Depends on how mindful you areabout, about your business.
(00:54):
Okay, but anyway, regardless,you know the funniest things
happen in the, you know the mostmundane places, like taking a
shower or going to the bathroomor doing the dishes.
Doing the dishes can be one ofthe most.
I mean by hand, like taking ashower or going to the bathroom
or doing the dishes.
Doing the dishes can be one ofthe most.
I mean by hand, like doing thedishes by hand, like washing.
First of all, oh my God, here Iam going off topic already, but
(01:14):
first of all, it's verysoothing when putting your hands
in water and it's verygrounding.
And also just the chore ofdoing dishes is very grounding,
but also nobody ever.
Just the chore of doing dishesis very grounding, but also
nobody ever wants to bother youwhen you're in the kitchen doing
dishes.
So when you do the dishes, youhave all the time in the world
to think and to contemplate lifeand the world and and uh, and
(01:37):
just you know, just be alone.
So sometimes, doing the dishes,so many different ideas can
come up.
So you have a shower doing thedishes, so many different ideas
can come up.
So you know the shower doingthe dishes, going to the
bathroom, all great ways, allgreat times.
For the most, you knowinteresting things to consider
in your life, right, anyway?
Or about life.
(01:57):
So anyway, as I was in mybathroom meditations, this
thought came to mind is aboutchange and recognizing that we
are different today than who wewere in the past.
Now, I know, it's true, thereare a lot of people that don't
(02:18):
change.
I mean, I meet people a lot.
Actually, even in my own familyI had an older brother who had
severe depression and I'm youknow, again, I'm not a big
diagnosis person, but for theease and simplicity of
conversation using a quoteunquote diagnosis like
depression or this or that orthe other.
As far as a medical term okay,of depression, I don't, like, I
(02:43):
don't.
I use those terms as just ameans of communicating the
thought and the idea, becausethat way we all have common
language, right.
So not necessarily that Inecessarily believe that there
is a, you know, chemicaldisorder that causes depression,
but that's for another day.
So if you hear me say, oh, it'sthe flu or it's a cold, it's
not necessarily that I reallybelieve that it's a quote
(03:05):
unquote flu or cold, because Idon't necessarily even believe
those things exist.
Or that.
The diagnosis of schizophreniaor bipolar, all these things
that really, to me, those arediagnoses that really are about
I think I've said this beforeit's a way of the medical
establishment to put people in abox to medicate them and so and
(03:28):
I've seen such miraculous quoteunquote miraculous healings,
but really recoverings from justproper food, proper eating and
working through trauma.
Now that may sound trite,especially if you're someone who
deals with depression oranxiety or things like that, and
I get it because I think ifyou've listened to my story, I
(03:48):
had a severe case of OCD anddepression and anxiety.
So you know you couldn't tellme that what I wasn't feeling
wasn't real.
And I'm not saying it wasn'treal and I'm not saying, if
you're having those issues, thatit's not real for you, of
course it is.
I'm just saying it's notnecessarily what we think it is,
it's not necessarily what we'vebeen told that it is from the
(04:09):
medical establishment.
Okay, so, going back to mybrother, so he was depressed for
most of his life for variousreasons that I can look back on,
and became an alcoholic andactually died of alcohol
poisoning and became analcoholic and actually died of
alcohol poisoning.
And I remember when he diedthat you know, I was sorrowful,
(04:33):
you know, and I was moresorrowful of the life that he
had never lived, because henever really had a chance to
live it and I don't think herealized that he could have
changed it if he could, if hedid, and this was many, many,
(04:53):
many years ago when he passed.
But looking back at it now, Ijust think that there was really
no chance for him or choice forhim at that time, you know.
And I have another brother whois an alcoholic now, and so my
point in bringing that up isthat you know I, no matter how
(05:14):
much you me, anyone that seessomeone that's hurting and you
want to see them change, wecan't do anything about it.
You know, people change whenthey're ready to change and
people change if they want tochange.
And it's true, there are somepeople that either don't want to
change, they don't see how theycan change, they've lost hope,
(05:38):
and there's not a lot you can do, because I I tried with people
who don't really, who aren'tready to change, or who don't
want to, and it doesn't have tobe anything even as as extreme
as being dying of alcohol,poisoning or or being an
alcoholic.
It could be just a change intheir thinking about, about
(05:59):
themselves.
You know, and and and followinginto patterns and habits, and
and you see it.
You can see it because you'restanding on the outside and
you're sitting like, oh, whycan't you just change this?
You know I can help you, butyou can't Not until and unless
they're ready.
However, I do believe thatthere are many people and I see
(06:23):
them in my practice all the timewho do want to change, who do
see that they don't want to livethe kind of life they've lived,
or do see that they don't wantto have the same regrets in the
future that they have from thepast by making the same kind of
decisions.
Right, people want to changeand people can change and people
have.
So that's where all this wascoming to my mind and I was
(06:52):
thinking but do we evenrecognize and appreciate the
changes that we make?
And I was thinking about my ownlife and the different changes
that I have made.
So I'll give you some examples.
So when we were consideringmoving, my husband brought up
Florida and Florida during youknow the, you know the pandemic.
I don't know what the.
You know what the emasculatingword we need to use anymore is,
but whatever was sounded like agreat idea.
(07:14):
Florida, yeah, hello.
The freest state of the freestates, yeah, except no,
absolutely not.
My dad had lived in Florida fora few years with work and I
would visit him in the summersand I just remember Florida.
Not only is it hot and humidand too sticky for me, but what
really I didn't like is like thelizards, like they get into
(07:36):
your house, and the frogs, Idon't know, it just seemed like
at dusk.
This is how I remember it.
Maybe I'm wrong.
If you're from Florida, let meknow.
And we lived, we were nearOrlando, florida.
I just remember that at dusktime frogs would just come out
of nowhere and this was like inthe suburbs of Orlando, and you
(07:57):
could walk and you like had tododge stepping on a frog.
It was just nasty, it was justgross.
So I told my husband absolutelynot, florida is not.
I would love it for all theother reasons that we would love
Florida for and that peoplelove Florida for.
I moved to Florida for, but Icannot handle bugs and the
humidity and I can't handle thelizards and I can't handle the
(08:18):
frogs.
So no, so we go to Arkansas,because Arkansas is not Florida.
So we go to Arkansas, right,because Arkansas is not Florida,
right, it's not a South, right?
Anyway, first month we're inArkansas and we're in the
apartment, there's a frog infront of my door.
I freak out oh my God, get thefrog away, get the frog away.
And my son and his wife werevisiting.
(08:40):
He had just finished hisbootcamp and they came down to
visit because the boot camp wasup in Missouri and you know, mom
, they'll eat the bugs.
I don't care, I don't want afrog in my house.
Kind of shooed the frog away,right, OK, now we're on our
(09:00):
property, right, and there was afrog.
Our first year or here we'vebeen here a little over two
years, you know there was like alittle frog hanging out on our
screen door, near our screendoor, and I was like, oh no.
And you know, michael says he'snot going to bother you, he's
going to, you know, eat the bugs.
And you know nothing, nothing'sgoing to happen.
I'm like okay, so I'd kind ofsneak out the screen door and
(09:26):
walk around it and all that.
Eventually this little froggy,would you know, kind of I don't
know, warmed up my heart.
It was kind of cute.
And the more I looked at him Ithought, yeah, actually kind of
cute.
And then we, since then, havegotten frogs in our garage.
They would come and sit in thepuddle, like you know, when you
have your car and the airconditioning runs, and after you
park it, then water drips onthe ground and they'd come and
(09:50):
sit in the pond.
There's like three of them,little frogs, little tiny little
things.
Okay, so now I look at thefrogs and go aren't you cute?
You're just a little jumper,aren't you?
And now I'm like making friendswith the frogs.
I knew that I would makefriends with frogs, right, okay,
but I did.
Now I like the frogs and I lovehearing them and I see them and
(10:11):
they jump.
I don't know they haven'tjumped on me and I'm not sure
how I feel about that, but theyjump near me and I'm good with
it, I'm good.
So that was one huge change forme.
You know, another change wascooking.
For me, you know another changewas cooking.
So, even though I have alwaysdone like the organic foods ever
(10:31):
since you know my own illness20 plus years ago, and you know,
always did organics, um, andspent the money to do so, I
didn't cook.
I didn't cook.
You know I I tried to eatthings that didn't need cooking,
need preparation, and then thekids, I gave them a lot of.
I did.
I feel I said it here now, butyou do what you do Cause that's
(10:52):
all you know.
Um, you know packaged foods andso like, but you know organic
packaged foods, right, which webetter now, but you know this is
20 plus years ago, right.
So it was like Amy's beef andmacaroni and beef with the kids
loved, or Amy's ravioli, or youknow, a lot of times it would be
fruit and meat, like organiclunch meat, or or cheese or
(11:16):
cheese sticks, organic cheesesticks and an apple Right, it
was a big thing.
Cheese stick and an apple, eatorganic cheese sticks and an
apple.
Right, that was a big thing.
Cheese stick and an apple, eatyour cheese stick and an apple,
but anyway so.
But I didn't cook.
And I look back on it and youknow I always say, oh, I don't
cook, I don't like to cook.
That was always my excuse.
But really the truth is I wasafraid of cooking.
I was afraid of failing atcooking.
That's the truth.
I was afraid that I I'd whip upa big meal and it would taste
(11:39):
like crap and then we'd have tothrow it away.
And then not only did I ruin agood meal, now we've wasted all
this money on the food.
So it was really a feeling offailure, you know, and not
wanting to fail, than it reallywas that I didn't like cooking.
But when my husband got sick andI took over his healing, I
didn't have a choice and wemoved into the GAPS diet, which
(12:01):
is all cooking.
I mean, you just, there's noprocessed food, there's no,
there's nothing.
You got to cook I, I did it, Ijust had to do it.
There was no, there was nooption.
And, and now that was at 53.
I was 53 when that happened,and now I love cooking.
And not only do I love it,right, I mean I really love it,
(12:21):
I enjoy it.
It's actually become a hobby ofmine.
I now teach it.
How crazy is that?
I actually teach Now, I'm not agreat chef there's plenty of
people who are better at cookingthan I am but I can teach the
basics, of course, of the GAPSdiet, the GAPS protocol, et
cetera, et cetera.
And you know fermented dairy andmeat stocks and you know making
(12:42):
your fermented dairy like yourown yogurt, your own cultured
cream, your own kefir all ofthese things kefir, kefir, it's
however you want to pronounce it.
All of these things.
I now teach others how to make,who you know, clients that come
to me and start the program andI will do a cooking class for
them, so they know how to makeall these foods.
Because, just as it was asscary for me, most of my clients
(13:06):
have never really cooked either.
So I totally get being freakedout about cooking, right?
So my class cook withconfidence is just a basic
cooking class on how to eatthese traditional foods.
So there was another change forme, right, it was a huge change,
you know, I mean, at 53,learning to cook that's crazy,
(13:28):
right, after always denying mycooking, you know.
And then even circumstancesthat change, you know.
Another thing that came to mindis, you know, when you, I grew
up in the hood, right so thereweren't any butterflies where I
grew up in, in the hood, rightso there weren't any butterflies
where I grew up.
This is a story aboutbutterflies anyway, but you know
, then when I married my husband, we lived in Silicon Valley,
(13:49):
california, and a really verywell-to-do suburb, and of course
, my husband planted a beautifullittle garden and we would get
butterflies that come to thegarden and hummingbirds, and it
was like, oh, look, there's abutterfly and look, a
hummingbird, oh my gosh.
And you know, and it was justthe most miraculous thing, like
parting of the Red Sea, we'reseeing these butterflies and you
(14:11):
know, something that we'venever seen before.
I mean, that's what it feelslike when you see one, and they
are beautiful, don't get mewrong.
But, and they are beautiful,Don't get me wrong.
But my point is now, you know, Ihave names for all my
butterflies that are on myproperty, right, the
hummingbirds we have.
We have three and I have names.
There's Oliver, nick and Judy.
And Oliver is the bully whowants to keep all of the flowers
(14:32):
to himself and will chaseanything else out of the way.
He chases all the otherhummingbirds away.
He chases the butterflies away.
He's a big bully and he won'tshare.
And then Nick and Judy try toget there in the early morning
before he gets there, to try toget what they can get the nectar
that they can get from theflowers, before he comes and
chases them away.
So now you know, it's like wehave all of the butterflies and
(14:55):
the hummingbirds and all thesethings here.
And don't get me wrong, I'm notbelittling seeing them in the
city or seeing them on a suburb,because no matter where you see
them, they are miraculouscreatures.
Right, you know the hummingbirdand you.
I mean then, when you thesehummingbirds, what's crazy about
them is they get to know youand we read that they actually
can recognize faces.
(15:16):
I don't know if that's true,maybe it is, but it's something
that my husband looked at andtold me about, and but they will
come up, especially Oliver.
Like I said, he's a littlebully, he's a little aggressive
and not hurt us.
He won't, they won't try topick us right, but he will come
up and kind of flutter right infront of our faces Like whoa,
and like he's saying hello.
It's like, well, okay, goodmorning Oliver.
I mean it's, it's crazy.
(15:39):
You know, I never thought Iwrote a little article when we
moved here from from the hood toa homestead, because I never
pictured myself, ever picturedmyself living on 22 acres.
It's just not me.
I didn't ever thought I wouldever leave a city.
You know, I mean never, I meanI always.
(15:59):
I mean I thought if I had beensingle with no kids, I would
have moved, I would have livedin New York.
I mean you wouldn't catch me inNew York now, but you know, I
did live in New York for a timeand performed in New York.
I loved it, um, but yeah, Inever thought that this would
happen.
So my point is all the differentways that we change, all the
(16:22):
different ways that our liveschange, circumstances change,
and for the good, right, I meanyou know there are not so good
changes too, but I'm justtalking about just the good
changes and the changes that wemake within ourselves.
You know who we've become, youknow when we are the kind of
(16:43):
people that say, yeah, I can'tlive this way anymore, my
relationship, I've hurt myrelationships, I've hurt myself
and I don't want to live anotherday living like I did.
I don't want to live anotherday in regret.
And so we make these changesand we don't recognize them A
(17:03):
lot of times.
We just don't recognize them,you know.
So I thought about that and Igot out of the bathroom in my
meditative state and I took outa piece of paper and I started
listing all the different waysthat I've changed, you know, and
some of those ways are what Ijust shared and other ways is
that, you know, even though Ithink I've told you I've, I
(17:26):
jumped to judgment prettyquickly and I can have a
critical nature.
I have learned to to twist thatoff, to turn that off, and
immediately it still shows up.
But I can immediately turn thatchannel and turn that criticism
off, either for myself or forothers.
I don't stay angry.
I mean, I was born to fight.
(17:48):
I feel like and I have been afighter my whole life and very
angry, and not that there'sanything wrong with anger if
used appropriately, but I woulduse anger as an energy source
for any time in my life I neededan energy source and would
start fights, like with myhusband.
Yeah, I don't do that anymore,you know, and there are a lot of
(18:14):
just personality changes thatI've made and heartfelt changes
that I've made and deepspiritual changes that I've made
and heartfelt changes that I'vemade and deep spiritual changes
that I've made.
My relationship with God is ona completely different level
because when I've been aChristian and I'm quoting that,
putting it in quotes I would sayI've been an intellectual, yes
(18:37):
and no.
When I was a child I knew Godexisted before.
I knew God existed right, myfamily wasn't overly religious
in one way or another when I wasyoung and my dad is agnostic,
and then my mom, who waspracticing Judaism at the time,
(18:58):
now, later on in life, convertedto Christianity, but it wasn't
really a lot of religious talkor God talk in our house, but
yet I knew something was there.
I just knew.
It was just something in methat just knew that God existed,
even though I didn't have aname for it necessarily.
Later I became a Christian, butI still didn't really accept
(19:19):
that Christ died for me.
I still didn't accept that Godwas really for me.
You know, I saw God, which isvery typical, the Heavenly
Father and I saw my HeavenlyFather being no different than
my dad.
You know, my Heavenly Father,he's just, he's going to judge
me, he's going to criticize me.
(19:41):
I'm not good enough, I'm justsomething to laugh about and
laugh at.
And these are all the thoughtsthat I believed that, you know,
he really is no different thanmy earthly father, you know.
And so, while I loved God, Ididn't believe that God really
loved me.
Loved God, I didn't believethat God really loved me,
(20:04):
although in my life I know, youknow, it's all these, all these
dichotomies in my life I knewthat he was protecting me, you
know, I knew.
And then I would say well, god,why?
Because am I just here for youramusement, right?
So all these feelings.
And then there was a moment inmy life where I was struggling
with a lot of pain, emotionalpain, relationship pain, and
(20:30):
with my father specifically, andI felt God speak to me.
It wasn't an audible voice, butI felt it and he said I was
there holding your hand all thetimes that your dad rejected you
.
I was there.
I'm holding your hand now toget you through this, and it was
just another situation that Iwas going through.
(20:50):
Yeah, and from that moment on Ifelt and saw and imagined and
visualized God holding my handand that was the moment that I
knew God was not my dad.
God loved me and God was therefor me.
(21:11):
All the times that I wasrejected he was there.
So all of these moments in mylife, all these moments, these
revelations that brought aroundchange in my life and that
created an impetus for me tomake the changes I needed to
make to repair relationships, toimprove my life and my heart
(21:35):
and my health and my spirit, youknow these are all moments that
I wanted to recognize andremember, right, and so I wrote
them all down.
And you know, again, it's hard.
Sometimes we don't recognizewhen we make our own changes or
when others make a change.
And like personality tests youknow a personality test, like
you know, the Enneagram or theDICS or there's a few others.
(21:59):
They're fun and I have a fewthat I have my clients take and
I look at them.
I do not.
I look at them as being a verybroad, broad, broad, broad,
broad representation of whatsomeone is like.
I mean super broad and I'lltell you why, because I've taken
personality tests and I'll aska question.
(22:20):
I go well, I don't know how I'drespond to that answer.
It depends on the day, itdepends on my mood.
I might respond this way, Imight respond that way.
It just depends on what I'mfeeling the day, it depends on
my mood.
I might respond this way, Imight respond that way.
It just depends on what I'mfeeling that day.
So, you know, I don't thinkit's a really great accurate.
Some people are really like thisis who I am, I don't know,
maybe, maybe, maybe not.
(22:41):
And then sometimes we couldalso taint it because we might
want to be a specific, you knowpersonality type.
We might want to be a specific,you know personality type.
So we may not consciously butsubconsciously, answer in a way
that we think we want to be seenas versus how we really feel
(23:03):
Okay.
So again, I don't necessarilytrust personality tests, like a
lot of people do, as being likethis is who I am Right.
Okay, it's a tool, it's a verybroad brushed tool, but that's
all it is, is a tool.
And another way that personalitytests can fail and I can tell
you this from my own experienceis I will take a personality
test and again, I do it becausethey're fun to do.
Come on, they are.
But I will do it and I willanswer from the point of view of
(23:29):
who I was, not who I am now.
And I remember recognizing thatI'm like I'm answering this not
the way I would do it now, buthow I've done it for so long in
my life.
Huh, wow, you know, and I wasseeing all the because I've, you
know, taken personality testsin the past and then taking them
(23:52):
now, and I was just used tokind of answering them in the
same personality type.
But the truth is that's not whoI am anymore, you know, I mean,
there are some things in me thatI'm, I mean I'm always going to
be a fighter.
I really believe that.
And I'm okay with that now,because God had spoken to me and
said hey, your anger is not badand your fight is not bad, it's
(24:15):
just misplaced, you're justfocusing it in the wrong place.
Okay, okay, because I would sayGod, stop.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I stop.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I do hash it out with God.
Let me tell you and I justremember feeling, hearing,
saying however, however, I hurthim, your anger is not the
(24:40):
problem, it's where you'replacing your anger.
That's the problem.
Where you're placing it isn'twho deserves it and it's or
where I need you to put it tomake a change.
And I, whether it was myhusband or whatever, and I was
up with the anger itself, it'snot a problem.
And and my fight, my fightingspirit, is not a problem.
(25:05):
But choose who and what it isthat you're fighting and don't
fight your friends.
Right, be a fighter, but justbe careful who you who you are
fighting, because you could befighting someone who's not the
enemy or something that's notthe enemy, okay, so anyway.
(25:25):
So I sat down and I made a listand I started to think about all
the different ways that I havechanged and I started to
celebrate Wow, my gosh, and evenin my 50s, how I've changed.
You know, and every day is aday of growth and a day of
learning, if you, you know, letit be.
And the reason why it's reallyimportant to recognize our
(25:54):
changes is when we celebrate howwe've been, we've changed.
We recognize it and we like,celebrate that and give thanks
for that, then we are more opento recognizing how somebody else
has changed.
Because if we are still lookingat others in the same way we
saw them in the past, butthey're not that way, we're
(26:14):
really impeding the opportunityfor healing and reconciliation.
And you know personally I'veseen that in my own family, you
know, and where you're stillwhether it's a parent or it's a
child, an adult child whereyou're still seeing someone as
who they were and not reallylooking at them with fresh eyes
(26:39):
as who they are.
And so then, when we keeplooking back at who they were,
we keep bringing up the oldstuff and we never allow it to
just heal and then be buried,right, heal and then just be put
away.
Let it be healed and be givento God to do what he wishes with
(26:59):
it.
Let it go.
We are not able to do thatbecause we're still seeing from
who we were or who they were,from who we were or who they
were, and we can't allow thenfor the beauty of this new
person, whether it's us or them,to come into our lives and for
(27:22):
a mature relationship withourselves or others to emerge
and we just stay stuck.
So you may want to try thisyourself.
Actually, I'm going to put twoparts to this because I think
I'm going to go back and do thisas a second part.
Make a list of all the waysthat you've grown, you've
changed for the better.
You know new circumstances,you've explored new experiences.
(27:43):
That may be like I would neverhave done that before, and look
what I'm doing how you'vebroadened your horiz doing how
you've broadened your horizons,how you've broadened your
viewpoint, how you've deepenedyour relationships, how you
deepened your spiritual walk allanyway, any different way,
right.
Or just how you decided to addmore variety in your life in
some way, you know, or started anew project or something or a
(28:07):
new hobby, but whatever it is,make a list of all the different
ways that you have changed andthen celebrate that.
One of the ways you cancelebrate is super simple.
You don't have to go out andbuy something.
I mean you can if you want.
But one of the great ways tocelebrate yourself is with a
funky move like give yourselflike a yes and punch the air or
(28:30):
be silly with it.
You know.
Or jump up and down, or imagineyou know, experience yourself,
imagine doing cartwheels in yourhead Right and bring that as a,
as a symbol, a metaphor of yourcelebration, of your change.
Change.
After you've made that list,you can do what I'm going to do
when I go back into the houseand that is make a list of
(28:53):
people that you've haddifficulties with in the past,
people that you've haddifficulties with in the past
and still want to haverelationship with Okay, and
really still want to develop.
You want to change, maybe, theway you see them because you
want to have a betterrelationship.
Now, I'm not going to get into,I'm not talking about an
(29:14):
abusive relationship and thatkind of thing like that.
That that's another topic.
But I'm just talking aboutdisagreements or the way you
view life or the way you knowthings or or whatever however
they may be, have been in a waythat hurt you.
Again, I'm not talking aboutphysical abuse here or verbal
(29:34):
abuse.
Let's keep it simple.
Let's just talk about thingsthat you didn't see eye to eye
or they just had a peculiarpersonality that just kind of
irked you.
But maybe that person haschanged, maybe they've grown,
maybe they've matured, and tryto see that person with new eyes
(30:00):
, as a new human being, as a newperson, new creation, and see
if that won't help, and see ifthat won't help your desire or
your feelings of just wanting toconnect and be with this person
and I'm not saying lie.
If they haven't changed, wellthen they haven't changed.
Can you love them still, or isit something you need to keep
(30:24):
distance with?
But that's something you haveto decide.
But if it's someone that youjust have refused, really come
on.
You know you'll know it.
You really refuse to look atthem in a different way, even
though and maybe even feel alittle guilty about it.
Who knows?
But at least maybe there's apart of you that goes, yeah, but
I still want to be angry, right?
Okay, so you know that could bethat, right, you want to hold
(30:51):
on being right.
I've been there.
I'm not saying this to you, I'mjust throwing this out here.
Use it or don't, however youwant, right.
I always say you know, try iton, see if it fits, if it
doesn't, hang it back up on therack, just.
But if there's something thatmaybe you haven't been fair in
with someone else, and seeinghow they've changed, maybe make
a list and see how they have andsee if that doesn't really just
change the way you see them andthe way you will communicate
(31:14):
with them in the future.
I don't know.
Just something to think about.
Anyway, it's time for me to go.
Have a beautiful day today, andI will catch you in a couple of
days and let you know howthings are moving.
All right, have a great day.
Bye-bye.
Today I am wanting to chat with you about
recognizing or appreciating whoyou are today.
Who you are today, and are youseeing who you really are today
or are you still seeing youthrough the glasses of who you
(00:33):
were?
So this morning I wasmeditating and this came to my
mind and I was thinking aboutall the different ways that I've
changed.
Okay, I lied, I'm not, I wasn'treally meditating, I was in the
bathroom, but that's a form ofmeditation too.
So there you go.
It can be.
Depends on how mindful you areabout, about your business.
(00:54):
Okay, but anyway, regardless,you know the funniest things
happen in the, you know the mostmundane places, like taking a
shower or going to the bathroomor doing the dishes.
Doing the dishes can be one ofthe most.
I mean by hand, like taking ashower or going to the bathroom
or doing the dishes.
Doing the dishes can be one ofthe most.
I mean by hand, like doing thedishes by hand, like washing.
First of all, oh my God, here Iam going off topic already, but
(01:14):
first of all, it's verysoothing when putting your hands
in water and it's verygrounding.
And also just the chore ofdoing dishes is very grounding,
but also nobody ever.
Just the chore of doing dishesis very grounding, but also
nobody ever wants to bother youwhen you're in the kitchen doing
dishes.
So when you do the dishes, youhave all the time in the world
to think and to contemplate lifeand the world and and uh, and
(01:37):
just you know, just be alone.
So sometimes, doing the dishes,so many different ideas can
come up.
So you have a shower doing thedishes, so many different ideas
can come up.
So you know the shower doingthe dishes, going to the
bathroom, all great ways, allgreat times.
For the most, you knowinteresting things to consider
in your life, right, anyway?
Or about life.
(01:57):
So anyway, as I was in mybathroom meditations, this
thought came to mind is aboutchange and recognizing that we
are different today than who wewere in the past.
Now, I know, it's true, thereare a lot of people that don't
(02:18):
change.
I mean, I meet people a lot.
Actually, even in my own familyI had an older brother who had
severe depression and I'm youknow, again, I'm not a big
diagnosis person, but for theease and simplicity of
conversation using a quoteunquote diagnosis like
depression or this or that orthe other.
As far as a medical term okay,of depression, I don't, like, I
(02:43):
don't.
I use those terms as just ameans of communicating the
thought and the idea, becausethat way we all have common
language, right.
So not necessarily that Inecessarily believe that there
is a, you know, chemicaldisorder that causes depression,
but that's for another day.
So if you hear me say, oh, it'sthe flu or it's a cold, it's
not necessarily that I reallybelieve that it's a quote
(03:05):
unquote flu or cold, because Idon't necessarily even believe
those things exist.
Or that.
The diagnosis of schizophreniaor bipolar, all these things
that really, to me, those arediagnoses that really are about
I think I've said this beforeit's a way of the medical
establishment to put people in abox to medicate them and so and
(03:28):
I've seen such miraculous quoteunquote miraculous healings,
but really recoverings from justproper food, proper eating and
working through trauma.
Now that may sound trite,especially if you're someone who
deals with depression oranxiety or things like that, and
I get it because I think ifyou've listened to my story, I
(03:48):
had a severe case of OCD anddepression and anxiety.
So you know you couldn't tellme that what I wasn't feeling
wasn't real.
And I'm not saying it wasn'treal and I'm not saying, if
you're having those issues, thatit's not real for you, of
course it is.
I'm just saying it's notnecessarily what we think it is,
it's not necessarily what we'vebeen told that it is from the
(04:09):
medical establishment.
Okay, so, going back to mybrother, so he was depressed for
most of his life for variousreasons that I can look back on,
and became an alcoholic andactually died of alcohol
poisoning and became analcoholic and actually died of
alcohol poisoning.
And I remember when he diedthat you know, I was sorrowful,
(04:33):
you know, and I was moresorrowful of the life that he
had never lived, because henever really had a chance to
live it and I don't think herealized that he could have
changed it if he could, if hedid, and this was many, many,
(04:53):
many years ago when he passed.
But looking back at it now, Ijust think that there was really
no chance for him or choice forhim at that time, you know.
And I have another brother whois an alcoholic now, and so my
point in bringing that up isthat you know I, no matter how
(05:14):
much you me, anyone that seessomeone that's hurting and you
want to see them change, wecan't do anything about it.
You know, people change whenthey're ready to change and
people change if they want tochange.
And it's true, there are somepeople that either don't want to
change, they don't see how theycan change, they've lost hope,
(05:38):
and there's not a lot you can do, because I I tried with people
who don't really, who aren'tready to change, or who don't
want to, and it doesn't have tobe anything even as as extreme
as being dying of alcohol,poisoning or or being an
alcoholic.
It could be just a change intheir thinking about, about
(05:59):
themselves.
You know, and and and followinginto patterns and habits, and
and you see it.
You can see it because you'restanding on the outside and
you're sitting like, oh, whycan't you just change this?
You know I can help you, butyou can't Not until and unless
they're ready.
However, I do believe thatthere are many people and I see
(06:23):
them in my practice all the timewho do want to change, who do
see that they don't want to livethe kind of life they've lived,
or do see that they don't wantto have the same regrets in the
future that they have from thepast by making the same kind of
decisions.
Right, people want to changeand people can change and people
have.
So that's where all this wascoming to my mind and I was
(06:52):
thinking but do we evenrecognize and appreciate the
changes that we make?
And I was thinking about my ownlife and the different changes
that I have made.
So I'll give you some examples.
So when we were consideringmoving, my husband brought up
Florida and Florida during youknow the, you know the pandemic.
I don't know what the.
You know what the emasculatingword we need to use anymore is,
but whatever was sounded like agreat idea.
(07:14):
Florida, yeah, hello.
The freest state of the freestates, yeah, except no,
absolutely not.
My dad had lived in Florida fora few years with work and I
would visit him in the summersand I just remember Florida.
Not only is it hot and humidand too sticky for me, but what
really I didn't like is like thelizards, like they get into
(07:36):
your house, and the frogs, Idon't know, it just seemed like
at dusk.
This is how I remember it.
Maybe I'm wrong.
If you're from Florida, let meknow.
And we lived, we were nearOrlando, florida.
I just remember that at dusktime frogs would just come out
of nowhere and this was like inthe suburbs of Orlando, and you
(07:57):
could walk and you like had tododge stepping on a frog.
It was just nasty, it was justgross.
So I told my husband absolutelynot, florida is not.
I would love it for all theother reasons that we would love
Florida for and that peoplelove Florida for.
I moved to Florida for, but Icannot handle bugs and the
humidity and I can't handle thelizards and I can't handle the
(08:18):
frogs.
So no, so we go to Arkansas,because Arkansas is not Florida.
So we go to Arkansas, right,because Arkansas is not Florida,
right, it's not a South, right?
Anyway, first month we're inArkansas and we're in the
apartment, there's a frog infront of my door.
I freak out oh my God, get thefrog away, get the frog away.
And my son and his wife werevisiting.
(08:40):
He had just finished hisbootcamp and they came down to
visit because the boot camp wasup in Missouri and you know, mom
, they'll eat the bugs.
I don't care, I don't want afrog in my house.
Kind of shooed the frog away,right, OK, now we're on our
(09:00):
property, right, and there was afrog.
Our first year or here we'vebeen here a little over two
years, you know there was like alittle frog hanging out on our
screen door, near our screendoor, and I was like, oh no.
And you know, michael says he'snot going to bother you, he's
going to, you know, eat the bugs.
And you know nothing, nothing'sgoing to happen.
I'm like okay, so I'd kind ofsneak out the screen door and
(09:26):
walk around it and all that.
Eventually this little froggy,would you know, kind of I don't
know, warmed up my heart.
It was kind of cute.
And the more I looked at him Ithought, yeah, actually kind of
cute.
And then we, since then, havegotten frogs in our garage.
They would come and sit in thepuddle, like you know, when you
have your car and the airconditioning runs, and after you
park it, then water drips onthe ground and they'd come and
(09:50):
sit in the pond.
There's like three of them,little frogs, little tiny little
things.
Okay, so now I look at thefrogs and go aren't you cute?
You're just a little jumper,aren't you?
And now I'm like making friendswith the frogs.
I knew that I would makefriends with frogs, right, okay,
but I did.
Now I like the frogs and I lovehearing them and I see them and
(10:11):
they jump.
I don't know they haven'tjumped on me and I'm not sure
how I feel about that, but theyjump near me and I'm good with
it, I'm good.
So that was one huge change forme.
You know, another change wascooking.
For me, you know another changewas cooking.
So, even though I have alwaysdone like the organic foods ever
(10:31):
since you know my own illness20 plus years ago, and you know,
always did organics, um, andspent the money to do so, I
didn't cook.
I didn't cook.
You know I I tried to eatthings that didn't need cooking,
need preparation, and then thekids, I gave them a lot of.
I did.
I feel I said it here now, butyou do what you do Cause that's
(10:52):
all you know.
Um, you know packaged foods andso like, but you know organic
packaged foods, right, which webetter now, but you know this is
20 plus years ago, right.
So it was like Amy's beef andmacaroni and beef with the kids
loved, or Amy's ravioli, or youknow, a lot of times it would be
fruit and meat, like organiclunch meat, or or cheese or
(11:16):
cheese sticks, organic cheesesticks and an apple Right, it
was a big thing.
Cheese stick and an apple, eatorganic cheese sticks and an
apple.
Right, that was a big thing.
Cheese stick and an apple, eatyour cheese stick and an apple,
but anyway so.
But I didn't cook.
And I look back on it and youknow I always say, oh, I don't
cook, I don't like to cook.
That was always my excuse.
But really the truth is I wasafraid of cooking.
I was afraid of failing atcooking.
That's the truth.
I was afraid that I I'd whip upa big meal and it would taste
(11:39):
like crap and then we'd have tothrow it away.
And then not only did I ruin agood meal, now we've wasted all
this money on the food.
So it was really a feeling offailure, you know, and not
wanting to fail, than it reallywas that I didn't like cooking.
But when my husband got sick andI took over his healing, I
didn't have a choice and wemoved into the GAPS diet, which
(12:01):
is all cooking.
I mean, you just, there's noprocessed food, there's no,
there's nothing.
You got to cook I, I did it, Ijust had to do it.
There was no, there was nooption.
And, and now that was at 53.
I was 53 when that happened,and now I love cooking.
And not only do I love it,right, I mean I really love it,
(12:21):
I enjoy it.
It's actually become a hobby ofmine.
I now teach it.
How crazy is that?
I actually teach Now, I'm not agreat chef there's plenty of
people who are better at cookingthan I am but I can teach the
basics, of course, of the GAPSdiet, the GAPS protocol, et
cetera, et cetera.
And you know fermented dairy andmeat stocks and you know making
(12:42):
your fermented dairy like yourown yogurt, your own cultured
cream, your own kefir all ofthese things kefir, kefir, it's
however you want to pronounce it.
All of these things.
I now teach others how to make,who you know, clients that come
to me and start the program andI will do a cooking class for
them, so they know how to makeall these foods.
Because, just as it was asscary for me, most of my clients
(13:06):
have never really cooked either.
So I totally get being freakedout about cooking, right?
So my class cook withconfidence is just a basic
cooking class on how to eatthese traditional foods.
So there was another change forme, right, it was a huge change,
you know, I mean, at 53,learning to cook that's crazy,
(13:28):
right, after always denying mycooking, you know.
And then even circumstancesthat change, you know.
Another thing that came to mindis, you know, when you, I grew
up in the hood, right so thereweren't any butterflies where I
grew up in, in the hood, rightso there weren't any butterflies
where I grew up.
This is a story aboutbutterflies anyway, but you know
, then when I married my husband, we lived in Silicon Valley,
(13:49):
california, and a really verywell-to-do suburb, and of course
, my husband planted a beautifullittle garden and we would get
butterflies that come to thegarden and hummingbirds, and it
was like, oh, look, there's abutterfly and look, a
hummingbird, oh my gosh.
And you know, and it was justthe most miraculous thing, like
parting of the Red Sea, we'reseeing these butterflies and you
(14:11):
know, something that we'venever seen before.
I mean, that's what it feelslike when you see one, and they
are beautiful, don't get mewrong.
But, and they are beautiful,Don't get me wrong.
But my point is now, you know, Ihave names for all my
butterflies that are on myproperty, right, the
hummingbirds we have.
We have three and I have names.
There's Oliver, nick and Judy.
And Oliver is the bully whowants to keep all of the flowers
(14:32):
to himself and will chaseanything else out of the way.
He chases all the otherhummingbirds away.
He chases the butterflies away.
He's a big bully and he won'tshare.
And then Nick and Judy try toget there in the early morning
before he gets there, to try toget what they can get the nectar
that they can get from theflowers, before he comes and
chases them away.
So now you know, it's like wehave all of the butterflies and
(14:55):
the hummingbirds and all thesethings here.
And don't get me wrong, I'm notbelittling seeing them in the
city or seeing them on a suburb,because no matter where you see
them, they are miraculouscreatures.
Right, you know the hummingbirdand you.
I mean then, when you thesehummingbirds, what's crazy about
them is they get to know youand we read that they actually
can recognize faces.
(15:16):
I don't know if that's true,maybe it is, but it's something
that my husband looked at andtold me about, and but they will
come up, especially Oliver.
Like I said, he's a littlebully, he's a little aggressive
and not hurt us.
He won't, they won't try topick us right, but he will come
up and kind of flutter right infront of our faces Like whoa,
and like he's saying hello.
It's like, well, okay, goodmorning Oliver.
I mean it's, it's crazy.
(15:39):
You know, I never thought Iwrote a little article when we
moved here from from the hood toa homestead, because I never
pictured myself, ever picturedmyself living on 22 acres.
It's just not me.
I didn't ever thought I wouldever leave a city.
You know, I mean never, I meanI always.
(15:59):
I mean I thought if I had beensingle with no kids, I would
have moved, I would have livedin New York.
I mean you wouldn't catch me inNew York now, but you know, I
did live in New York for a timeand performed in New York.
I loved it, um, but yeah, Inever thought that this would
happen.
So my point is all the differentways that we change, all the
(16:22):
different ways that our liveschange, circumstances change,
and for the good, right, I meanyou know there are not so good
changes too, but I'm justtalking about just the good
changes and the changes that wemake within ourselves.
You know who we've become, youknow when we are the kind of
(16:43):
people that say, yeah, I can'tlive this way anymore, my
relationship, I've hurt myrelationships, I've hurt myself
and I don't want to live anotherday living like I did.
I don't want to live anotherday in regret.
And so we make these changesand we don't recognize them A
(17:03):
lot of times.
We just don't recognize them,you know.
So I thought about that and Igot out of the bathroom in my
meditative state and I took outa piece of paper and I started
listing all the different waysthat I've changed, you know, and
some of those ways are what Ijust shared and other ways is
that, you know, even though Ithink I've told you I've, I
(17:26):
jumped to judgment prettyquickly and I can have a
critical nature.
I have learned to to twist thatoff, to turn that off, and
immediately it still shows up.
But I can immediately turn thatchannel and turn that criticism
off, either for myself or forothers.
I don't stay angry.
I mean, I was born to fight.
(17:48):
I feel like and I have been afighter my whole life and very
angry, and not that there'sanything wrong with anger if
used appropriately, but I woulduse anger as an energy source
for any time in my life I neededan energy source and would
start fights, like with myhusband.
Yeah, I don't do that anymore,you know, and there are a lot of
(18:14):
just personality changes thatI've made and heartfelt changes
that I've made and deepspiritual changes that I've made
and heartfelt changes that I'vemade and deep spiritual changes
that I've made.
My relationship with God is ona completely different level
because when I've been aChristian and I'm quoting that,
putting it in quotes I would sayI've been an intellectual, yes
(18:37):
and no.
When I was a child I knew Godexisted before.
I knew God existed right, myfamily wasn't overly religious
in one way or another when I wasyoung and my dad is agnostic,
and then my mom, who waspracticing Judaism at the time,
(18:58):
now, later on in life, convertedto Christianity, but it wasn't
really a lot of religious talkor God talk in our house, but
yet I knew something was there.
I just knew.
It was just something in methat just knew that God existed,
even though I didn't have aname for it necessarily.
Later I became a Christian, butI still didn't really accept
(19:19):
that Christ died for me.
I still didn't accept that Godwas really for me.
You know, I saw God, which isvery typical, the Heavenly
Father and I saw my HeavenlyFather being no different than
my dad.
You know, my Heavenly Father,he's just, he's going to judge
me, he's going to criticize me.
(19:41):
I'm not good enough, I'm justsomething to laugh about and
laugh at.
And these are all the thoughtsthat I believed that, you know,
he really is no different thanmy earthly father, you know.
And so, while I loved God, Ididn't believe that God really
loved me.
Loved God, I didn't believethat God really loved me,
(20:04):
although in my life I know, youknow, it's all these, all these
dichotomies in my life I knewthat he was protecting me, you
know, I knew.
And then I would say well, god,why?
Because am I just here for youramusement, right?
So all these feelings.
And then there was a moment inmy life where I was struggling
with a lot of pain, emotionalpain, relationship pain, and
(20:30):
with my father specifically, andI felt God speak to me.
It wasn't an audible voice, butI felt it and he said I was
there holding your hand all thetimes that your dad rejected you
.
I was there.
I'm holding your hand now toget you through this, and it was
just another situation that Iwas going through.
(20:50):
Yeah, and from that moment on Ifelt and saw and imagined and
visualized God holding my handand that was the moment that I
knew God was not my dad.
God loved me and God was therefor me.
(21:11):
All the times that I wasrejected he was there.
So all of these moments in mylife, all these moments, these
revelations that brought aroundchange in my life and that
created an impetus for me tomake the changes I needed to
make to repair relationships, toimprove my life and my heart
(21:35):
and my health and my spirit, youknow these are all moments that
I wanted to recognize andremember, right, and so I wrote
them all down.
And you know, again, it's hard.
Sometimes we don't recognizewhen we make our own changes or
when others make a change.
And like personality tests youknow a personality test, like
you know, the Enneagram or theDICS or there's a few others.
(21:59):
They're fun and I have a fewthat I have my clients take and
I look at them.
I do not.
I look at them as being a verybroad, broad, broad, broad,
broad representation of whatsomeone is like.
I mean super broad and I'lltell you why, because I've taken
personality tests and I'll aska question.
(22:20):
I go well, I don't know how I'drespond to that answer.
It depends on the day, itdepends on my mood.
I might respond this way, Imight respond that way.
It just depends on what I'mfeeling the day, it depends on
my mood.
I might respond this way, Imight respond that way.
It just depends on what I'mfeeling that day.
So, you know, I don't thinkit's a really great accurate.
Some people are really like thisis who I am, I don't know,
maybe, maybe, maybe not.
(22:41):
And then sometimes we couldalso taint it because we might
want to be a specific, you knowpersonality type.
We might want to be a specific,you know personality type.
So we may not consciously butsubconsciously, answer in a way
that we think we want to be seenas versus how we really feel
(23:03):
Okay.
So again, I don't necessarilytrust personality tests, like a
lot of people do, as being likethis is who I am Right.
Okay, it's a tool, it's a verybroad brushed tool, but that's
all it is, is a tool.
And another way that personalitytests can fail and I can tell
you this from my own experienceis I will take a personality
test and again, I do it becausethey're fun to do.
Come on, they are.
But I will do it and I willanswer from the point of view of
(23:29):
who I was, not who I am now.
And I remember recognizing thatI'm like I'm answering this not
the way I would do it now, buthow I've done it for so long in
my life.
Huh, wow, you know, and I wasseeing all the because I've, you
know, taken personality testsin the past and then taking them
(23:52):
now, and I was just used tokind of answering them in the
same personality type.
But the truth is that's not whoI am anymore, you know, I mean,
there are some things in me thatI'm, I mean I'm always going to
be a fighter.
I really believe that.
And I'm okay with that now,because God had spoken to me and
said hey, your anger is not badand your fight is not bad, it's
(24:15):
just misplaced, you're justfocusing it in the wrong place.
Okay, okay, because I would sayGod, stop.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I stop.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I don't know why I'm such anangry person.
I do hash it out with God.
Let me tell you and I justremember feeling, hearing,
saying however, however, I hurthim, your anger is not the
(24:40):
problem, it's where you'replacing your anger.
That's the problem.
Where you're placing it isn'twho deserves it and it's or
where I need you to put it tomake a change.
And I, whether it was myhusband or whatever, and I was
up with the anger itself, it'snot a problem.
And and my fight, my fightingspirit, is not a problem.
(25:05):
But choose who and what it isthat you're fighting and don't
fight your friends.
Right, be a fighter, but justbe careful who you who you are
fighting, because you could befighting someone who's not the
enemy or something that's notthe enemy, okay, so anyway.
(25:25):
So I sat down and I made a listand I started to think about all
the different ways that I havechanged and I started to
celebrate Wow, my gosh, and evenin my 50s, how I've changed.
You know, and every day is aday of growth and a day of
learning, if you, you know, letit be.
And the reason why it's reallyimportant to recognize our
(25:54):
changes is when we celebrate howwe've been, we've changed.
We recognize it and we like,celebrate that and give thanks
for that, then we are more opento recognizing how somebody else
has changed.
Because if we are still lookingat others in the same way we
saw them in the past, butthey're not that way, we're
(26:14):
really impeding the opportunityfor healing and reconciliation.
And you know personally I'veseen that in my own family, you
know, and where you're stillwhether it's a parent or it's a
child, an adult child whereyou're still seeing someone as
who they were and not reallylooking at them with fresh eyes
(26:39):
as who they are.
And so then, when we keeplooking back at who they were,
we keep bringing up the oldstuff and we never allow it to
just heal and then be buried,right, heal and then just be put
away.
Let it be healed and be givento God to do what he wishes with
(26:59):
it.
Let it go.
We are not able to do thatbecause we're still seeing from
who we were or who they were,from who we were or who they
were, and we can't allow thenfor the beauty of this new
person, whether it's us or them,to come into our lives and for
(27:22):
a mature relationship withourselves or others to emerge
and we just stay stuck.
So you may want to try thisyourself.
Actually, I'm going to put twoparts to this because I think
I'm going to go back and do thisas a second part.
Make a list of all the waysthat you've grown, you've
changed for the better.
You know new circumstances,you've explored new experiences.
(27:43):
That may be like I would neverhave done that before, and look
what I'm doing how you'vebroadened your horiz doing how
you've broadened your horizons,how you've broadened your
viewpoint, how you've deepenedyour relationships, how you
deepened your spiritual walk allanyway, any different way,
right.
Or just how you decided to addmore variety in your life in
some way, you know, or started anew project or something or a
(28:07):
new hobby, but whatever it is,make a list of all the different
ways that you have changed andthen celebrate that.
One of the ways you cancelebrate is super simple.
You don't have to go out andbuy something.
I mean you can if you want.
But one of the great ways tocelebrate yourself is with a
funky move like give yourselflike a yes and punch the air or
(28:30):
be silly with it.
You know.
Or jump up and down, or imagineyou know, experience yourself,
imagine doing cartwheels in yourhead Right and bring that as a,
as a symbol, a metaphor of yourcelebration, of your change.
Change.
After you've made that list,you can do what I'm going to do
when I go back into the houseand that is make a list of
(28:53):
people that you've haddifficulties with in the past,
people that you've haddifficulties with in the past
and still want to haverelationship with Okay, and
really still want to develop.
You want to change, maybe, theway you see them because you
want to have a betterrelationship.
Now, I'm not going to get into,I'm not talking about an
(29:14):
abusive relationship and thatkind of thing like that.
That that's another topic.
But I'm just talking aboutdisagreements or the way you
view life or the way you knowthings or or whatever however
they may be, have been in a waythat hurt you.
Again, I'm not talking aboutphysical abuse here or verbal
(29:34):
abuse.
Let's keep it simple.
Let's just talk about thingsthat you didn't see eye to eye
or they just had a peculiarpersonality that just kind of
irked you.
But maybe that person haschanged, maybe they've grown,
maybe they've matured, and tryto see that person with new eyes
(30:00):
, as a new human being, as a newperson, new creation, and see
if that won't help, and see ifthat won't help your desire or
your feelings of just wanting toconnect and be with this person
and I'm not saying lie.
If they haven't changed, wellthen they haven't changed.
Can you love them still, or isit something you need to keep
(30:24):
distance with?
But that's something you haveto decide.
But if it's someone that youjust have refused, really come
on.
You know you'll know it.
You really refuse to look atthem in a different way, even
though and maybe even feel alittle guilty about it.
Who knows?
But at least maybe there's apart of you that goes, yeah, but
I still want to be angry, right?
Okay, so you know that could bethat, right, you want to hold
(30:51):
on being right.
I've been there.
I'm not saying this to you, I'mjust throwing this out here.
Use it or don't, however youwant, right.
I always say you know, try iton, see if it fits, if it
doesn't, hang it back up on therack, just.
But if there's something thatmaybe you haven't been fair in
with someone else, and seeinghow they've changed, maybe make
a list and see how they have andsee if that doesn't really just
change the way you see them andthe way you will communicate
(31:14):
with them in the future.
I don't know.
Just something to think about.
Anyway, it's time for me to go.
Have a beautiful day today, andI will catch you in a couple of
days and let you know howthings are moving.
All right, have a great day.
Bye-bye.
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