November 13, 2024 • 20 mins
What if the key to a healthier life isn't about achieving perfection, but embracing steady progress instead? Join me as we commit to the journey and celebrate every small victory, reinforcing the idea that success is carved out one mindful step at a time.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sharise Parviz (00:00):
Today we are in the car because I am traveling
to go out of town.
I wanted to chat today about aquestion that came in to me, and
this is from a woman who istrying to make some lifestyle
changes and is feelingcompletely overwhelmed,
demotivated and frustrated withherself because she feels like
she just can't make these big ofa changes so quickly and she
(00:25):
doesn't know what to do, and soI thought I would share that
with you, because we might allfeel that way from time to time
I know I have, and you may havetoo and so I thought I would
answer that question right heretoday's podcast.
So what do you do when you knowyou're trying to change your
life or shift your life, changeyour lifestyle, lose weight, eat
(00:48):
right, work out, have betterrelationships, have better
thinking, develop a deeperspiritual life, and on and on
and on, and you're going.
I can't do all of this.
It's too much.
Yeah, it is too much if you'retrying to do it all at once.
Yeah, it is too much if you'retrying to do it all at once.
So the idea I want to impressupon everyone who's listening
(01:09):
and to the lady who wrote me, ishey, hey, hey, slow down, chill
out.
It is about progression, notperfection.
I'm going to repeat that again.
It's about progression, notperfection.
I'm going to repeat that again.
(01:30):
It's about progression, notperfection.
And I really do mean that,because if we try to slam
everything in, we just burnourselves out and we end up
giving up.
It's too much and we end upgoing right back to where we
were, where we're going to makemuch better results, have much
better results and make muchbetter progress if we just give
ourselves time to implementslowly.
(01:51):
So progression, not perfection.
So I thought I would illustratehow I do it, how I progress
when I'm trying to build back ahabit.
So I typically, you know, it'staken me a long time in my life
like 20 years to develop mylifestyle, and it doesn't have
(02:15):
to take you 20 years, it's just.
You know, for 20 years I havelived in this lifestyle,
lifestyle, okay, of the way Iwant to eat and the way I want
to treat myself physically,exercise, fitness, all of the
habits that I have.
The lifestyle I have, you knowthat has been a ongoing, you
(02:36):
know, progression.
I guess, like ongoingdevelopment.
For you know, over 20 years,when I, after I, became very,
very ill.
Now there have been times in mylife when I fell off the wagon,
you know, and most recently,just before this at-home reset,
I fell off the wagon and skinnedmy knee and bumped my head and
(02:59):
had to stand up and shake myselfoff and go.
Where am I?
Because all of everything Iused to do, all of the things
that I know to do, I just theywere gone for like two, two and
a half years.
Why?
Because life got in the way.
I mean, if you've beenfollowing the podcast then you
(03:19):
know.
You know that all the thingsand stress that I was dealing
with with my husband's healingand all the crazies that were
going on in my life and lost,you know, people that I love all
just kind of happened and thenthat just went downhill dancing,
(03:40):
stopped, exercising, started.
You know wonky thinking going.
You know thoughts that I neverhad before about aging and all
this stuff.
You can go back and listen toall those episodes previously.
But I knew this wasn't where Iwanted to be, so I knew I needed
to go back and go back andchange my lifestyle.
(04:02):
Now, because I typically livein the lifestyle I want to live
in, it's pretty easy for me toget back into it.
My body, my mind, my heart, allof me kind of recognizes yeah,
you know, I know we're not wherewe're supposed to be.
And when I start to get back ontrack, the body goes oh yeah,
(04:23):
okay, we're on track, track.
Now we're exactly where we knowwe're supposed to be and it
starts to fall in line prettyquickly.
But I still take it slow.
And when I have clients thatcome to me that have either like
fallen off the wagon, like Idid, for whatever reason, but
our typical, you know, theirtypical lifestyle is one of that
they're very happy with.
(04:44):
Or if I have a client that'scome in and it's like this is
completely new, they have neverdone anything like this, but
they, they need to change theirlife.
They are determined to to makea transformation and to shift
their life for the better sothey can live the life they
really want to live and have thehealth they really want to have
.
And, you know, leave the legacythey really want to leave,
(05:05):
right, and you know they'recoming in fresh.
And I'd start them the same way.
And that is again, progress,not perfection, right, we want
to make progress, progression,not perfection.
So let's get to it.
When I work out.
There are about four basicactivities that I do during the
(05:27):
week for my training, for myphysical training, yoga.
Now, all of these also have alot of other benefits as well,
but let's just take it on thephysical training level.
Okay, my yoga is one, mycardiovascular is two, my
strength training is three, andthen my dancing is one.
(05:47):
My cardiovascular is two, mystrength training is three and
then my dancing is four.
Now, within those fourmodalities of fitness that I
have, I do various activitiesright within those modalities,
but those are the four basicpillars of my fitness, right?
So I have my yoga, my strengthtraining, my cardio training and
(06:09):
my dancing.
Okay, four things.
Well, I typically getting onback on track, or, if you're
somebody new, but let me justtalk about me first so getting
back on track, or if somebodywho's been on track, like me and
just needs to get back on track, what I do is the first week I
will commit to doing one ofthose activities, only just one,
(06:32):
and I will determine how manydays that week I will do that
activity and just for that week,that is the only activity that
I do.
So, for instance, I usuallystart with yoga, because yoga is
a really good transition togetting the body moving again,
or getting the body moving atall if it hasn't been moving.
(06:52):
So I start with my yoga and Iwill do commit to my yoga that
week.
Now I may, you know, throw inother things because I just want
to, but I don't commit toanything else but the yoga that
week.
Okay, once I have completedthat week and I feel I'm on
target and for doing the numberof days of yoga I want to do,
(07:15):
then the second week I will moveinto, usually cardio.
I'm usually ready for somecardio then and I determine how
many days of cardio I'm going todo and I commit to doing that
number of days.
If I do more, great.
That's a cherry on top.
If I do other things, that'sgreat too.
But I'm only committed to doingthe cardio Now, along with the
(07:38):
cardio.
I'm still doing the yoga, right.
So I'm doing the yoga the firstweek, continuing yoga the
second week, and I add in thecardio.
So the second week I'm doingthe yoga and the cardio.
Okay, week three same idea.
I think you get the idea.
I'm still doing the yoga.
I now I'm doing also the cardioand now I add in the strength
(07:59):
training Determine how many daysI'm going to do the strength
training for and then commit todoing that.
So the week three yoga is going, cardio is going and strength
training is going.
Week four here we go.
If all of those are on target,we're doing good.
Then I, week four, bring in mydance.
Again, same idea how many daysam I going to commit to Great?
(08:23):
And then now at that, by weekfour, I've got my.
Yoga is now like pretty muchall a habit now.
Cardio is going, strongStrength training is going good,
and now I add in my dance Okay,and that's how I do it.
So by month two, all right.
Week five or month two,whatever, I'm pretty much got my
(08:44):
my routine down.
So that's how I do it.
Now, if you're just starting newto physical fitness, you might
go a lot slower than that, andthat's okay.
For instance, you may startwith yoga the first week, just
doing it once a week, and thenjust sticking with yoga for like
the first month.
The second week, maybe you adda second day, the third week,
(09:04):
the third day.
For everyone it's a littledifferent.
It just depends on yourschedule, your interest, your
conditioning level.
You determine that how you'regoing to work your schedule
based on those factors right.
So it looks different foreveryone, but that's just an
example of how you make slowprogression and though you may
(09:25):
think it's slow, that's okay.
It is slow.
That's okay, though, becauseyou're still progressing, you're
still moving forward, andwhether you're just increasing
the number of days you know foreach week of every month and
then once you've got thatsettled in as a habit, then
maybe it takes you two months tobuild that habit in.
You know, to get to where youfeel.
Ah, now I feel like I'm doingenough of the activity each week
(09:48):
to feel good about it and I'mlike, right where I want to be,
and that's individual foreveryone.
So maybe that takes you acouple of months before you
bring in something else.
That's okay.
You know everyone again has towork on what works for them.
You know this goes back to mypodcast about you determine what
(10:12):
healthy is for you based onyour lifestyle and your desires,
not on some experts outsideopinion.
Same thing with your lifechanges.
So you start slow and you buildup.
Now the same idea of taking onething, making that a habit,
then adding in something new isthe same thing you do with
everything else, and that'swhether it's your diet, whether
(10:33):
it's adding in some type ofsupplements If you're doing I do
very little supplements but Ido do some and at some point
I'll talk about it but it'sadding in some type of
supplements.
I do very little supplements,but I do do some and at some
point I'll talk about it butit's all food-based, like cod
liver oil, fish oil.
I do iodine right.
There are certain things that Ido take that are food-based,
but I don't do them all at once.
I start with one, I build thathabit into my life, then I bring
(10:55):
the next one in and I buildthat habit into my life, and so
on and so forth, and you cantake that same schedule of
progression for anything in yourlife.
Meditation, you might start.
If you're new to meditation,you might start with two minutes
a week.
You know that might be all youdo.
Could be two minutes a day,that's great.
(11:16):
Find a week you know that mightbe all you do.
Could be two minutes a day,that's great.
Find a time, find how many daysyou want to commit to it.
I always say start on the lowend of anything If you're new to
something and you don't reallyknow how you're going to respond
to it.
Always start low and slow.
Okay, low and slow, but get onthe go, meaning do it.
(11:40):
Find something as minimal, theeasiest step forward you can do.
That's low and slow, but get onthe go, get going with it, okay
.
So if you're new to meditation,right, and you're not quite sure
if you can even do it, and youcertainly can't sit there for 30
minutes, that's okay.
What about one minute?
What about one minute everymorning or night?
(12:02):
Whatever works for you?
You pick out the time, it'syour schedule, it's your life.
So you pick out the time thatyou want to do it and do it for
one minute and just focus onyour breath for one minute,
that's it.
Do a breath focus exercise or amantra exercise, take a verse
from the Bible and just meditateon that for one minute,
(12:25):
whatever works for you.
And maybe you do that once aweek, maybe.
If you feel like you can committo once a day, great, but again
low and slow, then you may dothe next week, increase your
time or frequency, and then thenext week, increase your time or
frequency, on and on and on,and you just keep increasing
your time or your frequency orboth, whatever feels right to
(12:47):
you, until you build a habitthat feels good for your
lifestyle.
You know, I think the mostdifficult thing about changing
our lives when I think about myclients.
They come to me and they wantthey may start coming to me and
they may start with I want youto give me exactly what to do
(13:07):
and I go.
I could do that.
It'll last for, like I don'tknow, a week maybe, because the
truth is is we very rarely wantto do what we're told to do.
We very rarely will do it.
Okay, if if we were going to dowhat people told us to do, we
wouldn't need as many diet booksas we have out there.
(13:28):
If we were going to do whatpeople told us to do, we just
wouldn't because we'd have theresult.
You know there are how manydiets out there to lose weight.
Let's just talk about losingweight.
I'm not talking about health,because honestly I think GAPS
diet is the diet for buildinghealth in in your life, but and
I mean for any condition.
But let's just talk about dietbooks for a second.
How many diets to lose weightdo we need?
(13:50):
And the problem is is thatthere's not?
That there's?
They don't work is that wedon't stick with them because
our own, because we like beingindependent, we like being able
to decide what's right for us.
That's the truth.
We're rebels, you know, and, andso we'll like, yes, tell me
(14:14):
what to do and we'll do it.
And we'll do it for a littlewhile, and then, until you know
I don't know, that chocolatecake looks really good.
I don't need to do this diet.
I don't need to do what youtell me.
You're not my mom.
I don't need to do what youtell me.
And then we dump it, then we golooking, and then that diet,
and then we'd look for the nextthing.
(14:34):
And we're constantly lookingfor the next thing and wasting a
whole lot of time looking forthe next thing, instead of just
sticking with the one thing thatcould have gotten us there
faster than looking for the nextthing over and over and over
again.
The reason why is because wereally don't want to be told
what to do.
That's the truth.
It sounds good, just tell mewhat to do and I'll do it, but
(14:56):
it doesn't last.
The real challenge in changingyour life is not doing the,
making the changes.
It's taking the responsibilityon yourself to decide what those
changes are and how to makethem.
So when I work with a client, Idon't tell them okay, you're
(15:16):
going to do this and this andthis and this and this, that's
what you're going to do.
I don't do that Because I knowimmediately they're not going to
do that or that or that or thator that.
Or if they do, they'll do itlast minute because, well, we'll
do it before we have our nextsession together.
No, no, no.
I want you to get results, notdo what I say.
What I will do is I'll say look, what is it you want to do this
(15:41):
week and I'll throw out someoptions and what sounds good to
you.
So start wherever you want tostart.
If you want to change your life,don't do it all at once.
Where do you want to start?
What seems the easiest,simplest step to start with?
Is it Adding fitness back intoyour life?
Okay, what fitness would youlike to add in?
(16:03):
Choose one area Cardioflexibility, stretching or yoga,
strength training, or is theresomething else?
Right?
Choose one thing and add it forthe week.
Determine how many days Do it.
Second week either add infrequency or add in time, or add
(16:25):
in something else.
Do the same thing.
Focus on one area of your life,your mental life.
You want to work on, again,meditation, two minutes once a
week.
Or if you can do every day,great once a day, once a week.
Or if you can do every day,great once a day.
After that you're able to dothat.
Add in time or frequency andfind that and do that in each
(16:49):
area of your life right.
But keep it small, keep itdoable, keep it no pressure and
journal it.
Journal it, write it down sothat you see your progression
each week and that you know whatyou want to do.
You pre-plan for the followingweek, because that's really
(17:09):
important too is planning forwhat you want to do.
It doesn't have to be this big,you know elaborate planning it.
Just, you know, at 7.30, I'mgoing to, you know, go for a
30-minute walk or whatever.
Again, it doesn't have to be7.30.
It doesn't have to be a30-minute walk, you decide, you
choose what it is that you wantto start with.
(17:31):
Start with one thing Change indiet.
You might start with justeliminating processed foods.
That might be a great start.
You might just start withincreasing your water intake.
That would be a great start.
Start with one thing.
Once that one thing becomes ahabit and you feel comfortable
with it, add in something new,that's it.
(17:55):
It's progression, not perfection.
That's the only way we reallyare going to move forward, and
always remembering it's ajourney until the day we die.
We will never get therecompletely, and that's the
exciting part too, becausethere's adventure.
When we know that the adventureis ongoing, we'll never get
(18:15):
bored.
There's always something moreto learn, something more to
experience, something more tochallenge in a fun way.
Again, it doesn't have to be adifficult challenge, it can be a
fun challenge.
Perception, remember.
Perception is everything.
So, again, progression, notperfection.
One small, small, simple step.
(18:37):
That's all you need to do.
What small step can you taketoday?
What small step can you takethis week?
That's it.
That's all you need to do.
What small step can you taketoday?
What small step can you takethis week?
That's it.
That's all you have to do.
That's all you have to thinkabout.
You don't have to think about alifetime of change that has to
be made instantaneously.
And you're failing if you don'tdo it all.
No, you fail if you don't doanything, if you give up.
(19:00):
That's the only failure.
There's no failure.
In falling there's no failureand even falling off the wagon,
only failure is if you don't getup and you don't start so low
and slow, but get on the go,start it off, all right.
Hopefully that gives you some,uh, some rest and peace about
(19:22):
making some of these big lifechanges.
Small, small, small steps, baby, small steps.
Baby, all right, Remember toburn the boats.
Baby Right, take the island andjust commit to the path ahead,
and one small step at a time.
Talk soon.
Today we are in the car because I am traveling
to go out of town.
I wanted to chat today about aquestion that came in to me, and
this is from a woman who istrying to make some lifestyle
changes and is feelingcompletely overwhelmed,
demotivated and frustrated withherself because she feels like
she just can't make these big ofa changes so quickly and she
(00:25):
doesn't know what to do, and soI thought I would share that
with you, because we might allfeel that way from time to time
I know I have, and you may havetoo and so I thought I would
answer that question right heretoday's podcast.
So what do you do when you knowyou're trying to change your
life or shift your life, changeyour lifestyle, lose weight, eat
(00:48):
right, work out, have betterrelationships, have better
thinking, develop a deeperspiritual life, and on and on
and on, and you're going.
I can't do all of this.
It's too much.
Yeah, it is too much if you'retrying to do it all at once.
Yeah, it is too much if you'retrying to do it all at once.
So the idea I want to impressupon everyone who's listening
(01:09):
and to the lady who wrote me, ishey, hey, hey, slow down, chill
out.
It is about progression, notperfection.
I'm going to repeat that again.
It's about progression, notperfection.
I'm going to repeat that again.
(01:30):
It's about progression, notperfection.
And I really do mean that,because if we try to slam
everything in, we just burnourselves out and we end up
giving up.
It's too much and we end upgoing right back to where we
were, where we're going to makemuch better results, have much
better results and make muchbetter progress if we just give
ourselves time to implementslowly.
(01:51):
So progression, not perfection.
So I thought I would illustratehow I do it, how I progress
when I'm trying to build back ahabit.
So I typically, you know, it'staken me a long time in my life
like 20 years to develop mylifestyle, and it doesn't have
(02:15):
to take you 20 years, it's just.
You know, for 20 years I havelived in this lifestyle,
lifestyle, okay, of the way Iwant to eat and the way I want
to treat myself physically,exercise, fitness, all of the
habits that I have.
The lifestyle I have, you knowthat has been a ongoing, you
(02:36):
know, progression.
I guess, like ongoingdevelopment.
For you know, over 20 years,when I, after I, became very,
very ill.
Now there have been times in mylife when I fell off the wagon,
you know, and most recently,just before this at-home reset,
I fell off the wagon and skinnedmy knee and bumped my head and
(02:59):
had to stand up and shake myselfoff and go.
Where am I?
Because all of everything Iused to do, all of the things
that I know to do, I just theywere gone for like two, two and
a half years.
Why?
Because life got in the way.
I mean, if you've beenfollowing the podcast then you
(03:19):
know.
You know that all the thingsand stress that I was dealing
with with my husband's healingand all the crazies that were
going on in my life and lost,you know, people that I love all
just kind of happened and thenthat just went downhill dancing,
(03:40):
stopped, exercising, started.
You know wonky thinking going.
You know thoughts that I neverhad before about aging and all
this stuff.
You can go back and listen toall those episodes previously.
But I knew this wasn't where Iwanted to be, so I knew I needed
to go back and go back andchange my lifestyle.
(04:02):
Now, because I typically livein the lifestyle I want to live
in, it's pretty easy for me toget back into it.
My body, my mind, my heart, allof me kind of recognizes yeah,
you know, I know we're not wherewe're supposed to be.
And when I start to get back ontrack, the body goes oh yeah,
(04:23):
okay, we're on track, track.
Now we're exactly where we knowwe're supposed to be and it
starts to fall in line prettyquickly.
But I still take it slow.
And when I have clients thatcome to me that have either like
fallen off the wagon, like Idid, for whatever reason, but
our typical, you know, theirtypical lifestyle is one of that
they're very happy with.
(04:44):
Or if I have a client that'scome in and it's like this is
completely new, they have neverdone anything like this, but
they, they need to change theirlife.
They are determined to to makea transformation and to shift
their life for the better sothey can live the life they
really want to live and have thehealth they really want to have
.
And, you know, leave the legacythey really want to leave,
(05:05):
right, and you know they'recoming in fresh.
And I'd start them the same way.
And that is again, progress,not perfection, right, we want
to make progress, progression,not perfection.
So let's get to it.
When I work out.
There are about four basicactivities that I do during the
(05:27):
week for my training, for myphysical training, yoga.
Now, all of these also have alot of other benefits as well,
but let's just take it on thephysical training level.
Okay, my yoga is one, mycardiovascular is two, my
strength training is three, andthen my dancing is one.
(05:47):
My cardiovascular is two, mystrength training is three and
then my dancing is four.
Now, within those fourmodalities of fitness that I
have, I do various activitiesright within those modalities,
but those are the four basicpillars of my fitness, right?
So I have my yoga, my strengthtraining, my cardio training and
(06:09):
my dancing.
Okay, four things.
Well, I typically getting onback on track, or, if you're
somebody new, but let me justtalk about me first so getting
back on track, or if somebodywho's been on track, like me and
just needs to get back on track, what I do is the first week I
will commit to doing one ofthose activities, only just one,
(06:32):
and I will determine how manydays that week I will do that
activity and just for that week,that is the only activity that
I do.
So, for instance, I usuallystart with yoga, because yoga is
a really good transition togetting the body moving again,
or getting the body moving atall if it hasn't been moving.
(06:52):
So I start with my yoga and Iwill do commit to my yoga that
week.
Now I may, you know, throw inother things because I just want
to, but I don't commit toanything else but the yoga that
week.
Okay, once I have completedthat week and I feel I'm on
target and for doing the numberof days of yoga I want to do,
(07:15):
then the second week I will moveinto, usually cardio.
I'm usually ready for somecardio then and I determine how
many days of cardio I'm going todo and I commit to doing that
number of days.
If I do more, great.
That's a cherry on top.
If I do other things, that'sgreat too.
But I'm only committed to doingthe cardio Now, along with the
(07:38):
cardio.
I'm still doing the yoga, right.
So I'm doing the yoga the firstweek, continuing yoga the
second week, and I add in thecardio.
So the second week I'm doingthe yoga and the cardio.
Okay, week three same idea.
I think you get the idea.
I'm still doing the yoga.
I now I'm doing also the cardioand now I add in the strength
(07:59):
training Determine how many daysI'm going to do the strength
training for and then commit todoing that.
So the week three yoga is going, cardio is going and strength
training is going.
Week four here we go.
If all of those are on target,we're doing good.
Then I, week four, bring in mydance.
Again, same idea how many daysam I going to commit to Great?
(08:23):
And then now at that, by weekfour, I've got my.
Yoga is now like pretty muchall a habit now.
Cardio is going, strongStrength training is going good,
and now I add in my dance Okay,and that's how I do it.
So by month two, all right.
Week five or month two,whatever, I'm pretty much got my
(08:44):
my routine down.
So that's how I do it.
Now, if you're just starting newto physical fitness, you might
go a lot slower than that, andthat's okay.
For instance, you may startwith yoga the first week, just
doing it once a week, and thenjust sticking with yoga for like
the first month.
The second week, maybe you adda second day, the third week,
(09:04):
the third day.
For everyone it's a littledifferent.
It just depends on yourschedule, your interest, your
conditioning level.
You determine that how you'regoing to work your schedule
based on those factors right.
So it looks different foreveryone, but that's just an
example of how you make slowprogression and though you may
(09:25):
think it's slow, that's okay.
It is slow.
That's okay, though, becauseyou're still progressing, you're
still moving forward, andwhether you're just increasing
the number of days you know foreach week of every month and
then once you've got thatsettled in as a habit, then
maybe it takes you two months tobuild that habit in.
You know, to get to where youfeel.
Ah, now I feel like I'm doingenough of the activity each week
(09:48):
to feel good about it and I'mlike, right where I want to be,
and that's individual foreveryone.
So maybe that takes you acouple of months before you
bring in something else.
That's okay.
You know everyone again has towork on what works for them.
You know this goes back to mypodcast about you determine what
(10:12):
healthy is for you based onyour lifestyle and your desires,
not on some experts outsideopinion.
Same thing with your lifechanges.
So you start slow and you buildup.
Now the same idea of taking onething, making that a habit,
then adding in something new isthe same thing you do with
everything else, and that'swhether it's your diet, whether
(10:33):
it's adding in some type ofsupplements If you're doing I do
very little supplements but Ido do some and at some point
I'll talk about it but it'sadding in some type of
supplements.
I do very little supplements,but I do do some and at some
point I'll talk about it butit's all food-based, like cod
liver oil, fish oil.
I do iodine right.
There are certain things that Ido take that are food-based,
but I don't do them all at once.
I start with one, I build thathabit into my life, then I bring
(10:55):
the next one in and I buildthat habit into my life, and so
on and so forth, and you cantake that same schedule of
progression for anything in yourlife.
Meditation, you might start.
If you're new to meditation,you might start with two minutes
a week.
You know that might be all youdo.
Could be two minutes a day,that's great.
(11:16):
Find a week you know that mightbe all you do.
Could be two minutes a day,that's great.
Find a time, find how many daysyou want to commit to it.
I always say start on the lowend of anything If you're new to
something and you don't reallyknow how you're going to respond
to it.
Always start low and slow.
Okay, low and slow, but get onthe go, meaning do it.
(11:40):
Find something as minimal, theeasiest step forward you can do.
That's low and slow, but get onthe go, get going with it, okay
.
So if you're new to meditation,right, and you're not quite sure
if you can even do it, and youcertainly can't sit there for 30
minutes, that's okay.
What about one minute?
What about one minute everymorning or night?
(12:02):
Whatever works for you?
You pick out the time, it'syour schedule, it's your life.
So you pick out the time thatyou want to do it and do it for
one minute and just focus onyour breath for one minute,
that's it.
Do a breath focus exercise or amantra exercise, take a verse
from the Bible and just meditateon that for one minute,
(12:25):
whatever works for you.
And maybe you do that once aweek, maybe.
If you feel like you can committo once a day, great, but again
low and slow, then you may dothe next week, increase your
time or frequency, and then thenext week, increase your time or
frequency, on and on and on,and you just keep increasing
your time or your frequency orboth, whatever feels right to
(12:47):
you, until you build a habitthat feels good for your
lifestyle.
You know, I think the mostdifficult thing about changing
our lives when I think about myclients.
They come to me and they wantthey may start coming to me and
they may start with I want youto give me exactly what to do
(13:07):
and I go.
I could do that.
It'll last for, like I don'tknow, a week maybe, because the
truth is is we very rarely wantto do what we're told to do.
We very rarely will do it.
Okay, if if we were going to dowhat people told us to do, we
wouldn't need as many diet booksas we have out there.
(13:28):
If we were going to do whatpeople told us to do, we just
wouldn't because we'd have theresult.
You know there are how manydiets out there to lose weight.
Let's just talk about losingweight.
I'm not talking about health,because honestly I think GAPS
diet is the diet for buildinghealth in in your life, but and
I mean for any condition.
But let's just talk about dietbooks for a second.
How many diets to lose weightdo we need?
(13:50):
And the problem is is thatthere's not?
That there's?
They don't work is that wedon't stick with them because
our own, because we like beingindependent, we like being able
to decide what's right for us.
That's the truth.
We're rebels, you know, and, andso we'll like, yes, tell me
(14:14):
what to do and we'll do it.
And we'll do it for a littlewhile, and then, until you know
I don't know, that chocolatecake looks really good.
I don't need to do this diet.
I don't need to do what youtell me.
You're not my mom.
I don't need to do what youtell me.
And then we dump it, then we golooking, and then that diet,
and then we'd look for the nextthing.
(14:34):
And we're constantly lookingfor the next thing and wasting a
whole lot of time looking forthe next thing, instead of just
sticking with the one thing thatcould have gotten us there
faster than looking for the nextthing over and over and over
again.
The reason why is because wereally don't want to be told
what to do.
That's the truth.
It sounds good, just tell mewhat to do and I'll do it, but
(14:56):
it doesn't last.
The real challenge in changingyour life is not doing the,
making the changes.
It's taking the responsibilityon yourself to decide what those
changes are and how to makethem.
So when I work with a client, Idon't tell them okay, you're
(15:16):
going to do this and this andthis and this and this, that's
what you're going to do.
I don't do that Because I knowimmediately they're not going to
do that or that or that or thator that.
Or if they do, they'll do itlast minute because, well, we'll
do it before we have our nextsession together.
No, no, no.
I want you to get results, notdo what I say.
What I will do is I'll say look, what is it you want to do this
(15:41):
week and I'll throw out someoptions and what sounds good to
you.
So start wherever you want tostart.
If you want to change your life,don't do it all at once.
Where do you want to start?
What seems the easiest,simplest step to start with?
Is it Adding fitness back intoyour life?
Okay, what fitness would youlike to add in?
(16:03):
Choose one area Cardioflexibility, stretching or yoga,
strength training, or is theresomething else?
Right?
Choose one thing and add it forthe week.
Determine how many days Do it.
Second week either add infrequency or add in time, or add
(16:25):
in something else.
Do the same thing.
Focus on one area of your life,your mental life.
You want to work on, again,meditation, two minutes once a
week.
Or if you can do every day,great once a day, once a week.
Or if you can do every day,great once a day.
After that you're able to dothat.
Add in time or frequency andfind that and do that in each
(16:49):
area of your life right.
But keep it small, keep itdoable, keep it no pressure and
journal it.
Journal it, write it down sothat you see your progression
each week and that you know whatyou want to do.
You pre-plan for the followingweek, because that's really
(17:09):
important too is planning forwhat you want to do.
It doesn't have to be this big,you know elaborate planning it.
Just, you know, at 7.30, I'mgoing to, you know, go for a
30-minute walk or whatever.
Again, it doesn't have to be7.30.
It doesn't have to be a30-minute walk, you decide, you
choose what it is that you wantto start with.
(17:31):
Start with one thing Change indiet.
You might start with justeliminating processed foods.
That might be a great start.
You might just start withincreasing your water intake.
That would be a great start.
Start with one thing.
Once that one thing becomes ahabit and you feel comfortable
with it, add in something new,that's it.
(17:55):
It's progression, not perfection.
That's the only way we reallyare going to move forward, and
always remembering it's ajourney until the day we die.
We will never get therecompletely, and that's the
exciting part too, becausethere's adventure.
When we know that the adventureis ongoing, we'll never get
(18:15):
bored.
There's always something moreto learn, something more to
experience, something more tochallenge in a fun way.
Again, it doesn't have to be adifficult challenge, it can be a
fun challenge.
Perception, remember.
Perception is everything.
So, again, progression, notperfection.
One small, small, simple step.
(18:37):
That's all you need to do.
What small step can you taketoday?
What small step can you takethis week?
That's it.
That's all you need to do.
What small step can you taketoday?
What small step can you takethis week?
That's it.
That's all you have to do.
That's all you have to thinkabout.
You don't have to think about alifetime of change that has to
be made instantaneously.
And you're failing if you don'tdo it all.
No, you fail if you don't doanything, if you give up.
(19:00):
That's the only failure.
There's no failure.
In falling there's no failureand even falling off the wagon,
only failure is if you don't getup and you don't start so low
and slow, but get on the go,start it off, all right.
Hopefully that gives you some,uh, some rest and peace about
(19:22):
making some of these big lifechanges.
Small, small, small steps, baby, small steps.
Baby, all right, Remember toburn the boats.
Baby Right, take the island andjust commit to the path ahead,
and one small step at a time.
Talk soon.
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