October 5, 2024 • 26 mins
Unveiling Your Authentic Voice: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Expression
Unlock the power of self-discovery and authentic expression with my latest episode, where I take you on a journey through an at-home retreat designed to rejuvenate both mind and body. Imagine setting transformative intentions for a weekend filled with liquid fasting, meditation, breath work, and contemplative practices such as reading and journaling.
The episode also ventures into the profound joy of finding one's authentic voice, a path shaped by my own experiences of hiding behind masks throughout my life.
Finally, challenge yourself to engage in a week-long exercise of expressing your genuine voice and take joy in your own authenticity. I'm eager to hear about your experiences!
I look forward to our walk this morning!
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As founder of Leading Lady Solutions & SPBTV, I help women reclaim the life, relationships, and health they deserve, and build a legacy they can be proud of. I help women take back their freedom so they can be the leaders the next generation is looking for. We can break the cycle of pain, disease, and trauma - and it begins with us.
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-You Leave the Legacy you Live
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sharise Parviz (00:00):
Good morning.
It is good, it is a goodmorning.
So I thought I would go aheadand post about this is the first
day of my at home retreat and Ithought I would share what I
did to prepare for the retreatbit of an update of what's going
(00:26):
on for that day.
If I post daily or whatever Ipost, give you an update of
what's going on and then alsomaybe what a takeaway is that?
I a revelation or a takeaway oran aha moment that I had and
we'll see how that goes.
So you have to excuse me, youknow I get up in the morning.
I do decide that morning is areally good time for me to get
up.
So I'm a little gravelly frombeing in the morning but also
(00:46):
been really sniffly and sneezyand I'm like I'm detoxing,
something obviously, which isgood.
I don't know what I might'vegotten into.
It could be just that we'reredoing the house or, you know,
doing the touch-ups, like I'dmentioned.
So today I'm just going to goin and do some neti potting and
(01:07):
neti potting I don't know ifthat's how you say, neti, you
know the neti pot and maybe dosome essential oils and
inhalations to help, to helpsupport my body to detox and do
what it needs to do to clean outwhatever it needs to clean out.
So if I'm a little snuffly orsniffly and gravelly, please
forgive the sound of my voice.
Okay, that all being said, whatdid I do yesterday to prepare?
(01:27):
So yesterday was Friday and soI decided to do the liquid gaps
fast, as I mentioned, thisweekend.
I think it's a really good timeto do a liquid fast over the
weekend, because not much itgoes on over the week.
You know, on the weekend I canjust chill out.
I got a lot of reading materialthat I can do.
I'm not going to be doing a lotof workout or strenuous work
(01:48):
anyway on a liquid fast.
So picked up my readingmaterial that I want to do.
I'm working on some differentmeditation works and breath work
.
So a lot of just kind of doingthat type of thing meditation, a
lot of just kind of doing thattype of thing meditation, some
breath work, reading,contemplating, journaling.
(02:09):
I keep a journal with me.
I'll tell you a little bitabout journaling, getting off
topic and then getting back on.
I'll get back on.
But so I've hated journalinglike my whole fricking life.
I mean hated it, and it's justlike oh gosh, well, okay, so my
brain works faster than my handOkay, but maybe most people do,
(02:31):
but my brain works faster thanmy hand.
I can't keep up with thethoughts that run through my
head and so my handwriting getssuper, super messy.
I mean, just like you know,chicken scratch Right, and um, I
mean, so bad, I can't even readit.
I mean, I know, when I was,when I was working in the
business and I and I'd have tokeep my notes, uh, this is
before I.
I just like doing handwrittennotes, I don't know why instead
(02:52):
of computer, but I've moved tothe computer to do it because
nobody could read my handwriting.
And they're like what are you?
What do you write?
What was the post-it note youput on my computer?
I'm like, I don't know what Isaid, I can't read my own
writing.
Later I moved to a messagingboard on the computer and it was
much easier, but I still do alot of jotted, you know whatever
(03:14):
post-it notes, but I can't readmy own writing.
So I never liked journalingbecause I just I couldn't keep
up with my thoughts.
And so I'd start a journal andI'm like, okay, I'm going to
start drilling and then I may belike a day or two, and then I
just dropped it.
And then I thought, you know,anyway it's just, it's more
stuff that I want to keep aroundthe house.
I'm really not about keeping alot of.
I have a lot of you know stuff,I guess you would say.
(03:39):
But all the stuff I have isimportant to me.
You know, it's eithersentimental or it was given to
me.
I don't just have stuff to havestuff, and I'm a purger.
So like twice a year I did thiswhen my kids were little too we
would go through all theirclothes, go through all their
toys, and at their Christmastime and after each of the
(04:00):
birthdays we'd go through andwe'd gather all the things that
you know we didn't want anymoreand we'd either donate them or
give them away or what have you.
And I'm the same way, you know,if it, if it's just a you know,
a dust collector, then I don'tkeep it.
If it's something that's amemento, absolutely without a
doubt, I'll keep it for life.
(04:20):
I'll be buried with it, right?
But yeah, so you know I'm not abig clutterer.
And I thought what am I goingto do with all these journals?
If I keep a journal, I'm likeOK, you know anyway.
But it's funny though is that Istarted journaling because I've
been trying to keep track of mydreams and being more conscious
about my dreaming.
(04:41):
So I started just keeping adream journal and then a lot of
times, when I wake up in themiddle of the night, you know,
and I'm tossing and turning,it's really just I realized,
just letting that happen becausea lot of things are coming to
me, but I don't want to losethose.
So I've been journaling those.
So now, now I keep a journalwith me wherever I go.
It's ridiculous, but I do,because thoughts will pop into
(05:03):
me or things I want to sharewith you or you know, and I'll
write these things down becauseI don't want to lose them.
So now I keep a journal by thebed and then I wake up and I
take it with me and wherever Igo because you never know, when
you know, a thought or aninspiration, an idea, uh, or
something I want to share withmy clients will pop into my head
, head I got to, I got to writeit down before I forget it, and
(05:25):
so, anyway, so I do that, and sonow I I love journaling because
now it's, it's useful to me.
That makes sense.
Anyway, it's just my, you know,it's just the way you think of
things.
So it's just, it's amazing,when you change your perspective
on something, how we can changeeverything, right?
(05:46):
I mean, we don't live inreality, we live in our
perception of reality, and Idon't mean that like we're
living in a matrix, I mean, Idon't mean that in that sense.
But meaning what we see is notnecessarily what we're
responding to.
We're responding to what we see, what we believe it to be, the
(06:07):
message we're giving about whatwe're seeing.
You know what we're receiving.
So there's reality, and thenit's our perception that we
place on our reality that werespond to, right, and that's
why people can have the sameexperience but respond to it
differently, because theirperception of it is different,
(06:28):
right?
So I've changed my perception,my perspective, on journaling,
and so now I not only journal, Ijournal all day long, okay.
So, that being said, I don'teven know why I shared that, but
I have my journal with me.
That's why.
So I have my journal.
I know I want to do some deepmeditations and some breath work
(06:50):
and some reflection time thisweekend, so it's a perfect time
for me to do a liquid fast.
So what did I prepare?
As I said, my fermented drinks,right, my beet, kvass, cabbage,
tonic, vegetable medley, andwhat I do is these are fermented
drinks that I will just drinkthe brine or just the liquid,
and these are all drinks thatare very, if you're part of
(07:11):
nourishing traditions, if youknow about nourishing traditions
or the GAPS diet, and GAPS justreal briefly stands for gut and
psychology syndrome or gut andphysiology syndrome, and so all
these fermented foods, likefermented dairy and fermented
vegetables and fermentedvegetable brine, vegetable
(07:33):
drinks, right, are part of theGAPS diet.
So, on the GAPS liquid fast,I'm going to be drinking all the
fermented liquids.
I made a meat stock, but I madeit just with clear, no meat, no
vegetables, just the clearliquid.
I also, of course, made lots ofherbal teas.
I like really doing coldinfusion teas, so I will do so.
(07:55):
I did some dandelion root anddandelion leaf, some milk
thistle, I did some cleaver'stea, and these are all teas that
I infused in water, in justroom temperature water,
overnight.
I put into a half gallon jarwith a two part lid, you know
(08:17):
mason jar, and let them infuseovernight, and then I drink
those teas.
You know I strain them and thendrink them throughout the day,
and these are teas that I madethat will help to support
detoxification of the liver andthe kidneys and the lymph system
.
So I have my herbal teas, Ihave my meat stock, I have my
fermented drinks, I have also,of course, water, and I'll do
(08:41):
lemon in the water because lemonis a wonderful stimulate for
the liver and the kidneys andhelps to flush the kidneys and
liver.
And then, of course, just whatelse.
I guess I think that's about itas far as diet-wise is
concerned.
(09:02):
And then, so now we'll justfocus on that for the next two
days, saturday and Sunday, andthen, of course, like I said, in
reading and preparing and doingsome meditations and doing some
breath work and that, andjournaling and praying and
reflecting and all that.
So that is the plan.
(09:24):
I think that is all I need toshare about preparing for this
retreat.
So now I'll share a bigtakeaway.
Okay, so it was a lot of funyesterday posting something just
off the cuff.
Hopefully it wasn't too boringfor you.
It's like okay, is she going toget on with it?
I guess maybe at some point Iwill have to begin, do an
(09:46):
outline, and so I can, you know,not go on and on, but I have to
say one of the things I gotdone, doing that I actually was
super excited after doing therecording and I'm going to
explain to you why.
So a little share, a littlehonesty here.
(10:08):
You know, my whole life I'vebeen a performer, I mean, you
know, whether dancing or acting,and I love playing characters,
you know.
And, and one of the things Iloved when I did my Restrain no
More show during 2008 and 2009,which was a political satire
show, and I did all thesecharacters and I love characters
, I love character acting,character acting where you're
(10:30):
just really doing all these kindof, you know, extreme
characters.
Right, it's fun.
And I learned early on that Ihad a?
Um, a good handle on accents.
I could pick up accents.
There's a few I can't, um,there's a few I have to still
kind of working on, it's likeyou know, but a lot of accents
if I hear it, if all I have todo is kind of hear it and I go
(10:51):
and I can, I can, I can do it,which is which is great.
Unfortunately, it almostsometimes I'll pick up people's
accents and I start to use theaccent unknowingly, and so it's
like, and I have to catch itbecause maybe it makes you know,
I've never been told, you know,criticized for it.
(11:11):
But I will catch myself like,oh, I'm using that, you know
this person's accent becauseI've been talking with them and
hearing them and then picking uptheir accent and I have to kind
of catch myself.
I hear myself because of courseI don't want them to think that
I'm mocking them or anything,because I'm not at all, but it's
just something that naturallyhappens for me and nothing I try
(11:33):
to do.
But anyway, but I love accentsand I have used throughout my
life as performing.
Quite honestly, I hadn't beenvery comfortable throughout my
life using my own voice.
I know that sounds weird ormaybe it doesn't, maybe you
understand it that just speakingin your own voice, and I
(11:58):
thought about that yesterday Ithought you know why is that?
Why is it?
I really hid behind a mask andwhether it was a mask, behind
just another character playingon stage or on film, on camera,
or whether it was an accent,putting my opinions in my
(12:18):
Restrain and More show, I wroteit and produced it and obviously
it was my own thoughts, but Iput these opinions and these
thoughts behind a character,thoughts behind a character
right, and it's kind of abarrier, it's kind of a
protective covering that anactor can use, is using,
obviously, a character right, soyou can be vulnerable without
(12:41):
really being vulnerable.
If that makes sense, you canexpose yourself, and I don't
mean exposure in an X-rated, butI mean expose your inner
thought or your opinions withoutreally exposing yourself.
Okay, and I'd done that and Ithought to myself well, I wonder
why that's always beencomfortable for me, but using my
own voice has been souncomfortable, right, and I
(13:02):
always go with I wonder and, andyou know, just using asking,
saying those words, I wonder,you know it immediately.
Um, especially if you're in anemotional state, you know, say I
wonder why I'm feeling this way, and it immediately helps you
to kind of get out of theemotion, get out of the getting
in the middle of something andget into a place of just
(13:25):
observing and where now you'reable to see it and separate
yourself from any kind of heavyemotion.
It's a really great trick foryou if you're in a heavy emotion
.
Just I wonder.
But also, there's no judgmentin wondering, right, when you
say I wonder, there's nojudgment, you're just curious
(13:45):
and you're asking a questionthat you really know the answer
to, but you're kind of asking itto kind of go hmm, I wonder
what that is.
And then you're allowing thoseanswers to come up without
judgment and allowing whateverto reveal itself to you.
And so I asked myself, I wonderwhy I never really felt
comfortable in my own voice, butalways felt comfortable behind
(14:07):
a character or in charactervoices or accents or what have
you.
And I think a lot of it had todo with the answer that came to
me and I'm still wondering.
So more might come or deepertruth might reveal itself.
But is that when I was young Iwas bullied.
I mean, from a very young ageprobably, I think like first,
second grade.
I just remember being bulliedall the way up through, I think,
(14:31):
at high school.
I was done.
At that point I was done, I hadhad it and I stood up and I
made myself known, let's justsay, and from that point forward
nobody messed with me anymore.
But I put up with a lot ofbullying and had to learn to
defend myself and had to learnto fight and had to learn to
(14:55):
protect myself.
And I was teased a lot, youknow, just teased and not just
teased by other kids but teasedby teachers and, and there's a
lot of reasons for the teasing.
I wasn't really well dressed,you know.
You know I I really wasn't welltaken care of as a child and
not, you know, not to.
So I was easy, I was an easytarget and I remember thinking
(15:17):
like Lord, do you do I have akick me sign on my back, like
you know, like all the time,like is it perpetual kick me
sign on my back and is ittattooed on my back?
And because it just seemed tobe, that's the way it went, you
know, and I'm OK with that nowbecause I realize it made me
very resilient and it made mestand up for myself and made me
(15:38):
become a fighter, and a fighterin my spirit to never allow
somebody else, to never allowsomebody else to be kicked
around.
So it really made me someonewho would want to protect others
.
So, you know, everything inlife helps you.
All this tough stuff it'spainful, but it'll tell you what
(15:59):
it does.
You can use it to help someoneelse.
So, even though these weremoments of pain in my life, I
realized they helped me to bewhat I am.
But because of the teasing andthe bullying and so forth and so
on.
I just learned to shut up.
I just learned not to speak,right?
(16:21):
You know?
Um uh, just learned to just sayas as little as I possibly
could.
And then I went a little deeperand realized it was also my
father, and my father I mean,you know, he's still alive, he's
in his eighties now and we havea very strained relationship.
I mean, we haven't so strained,we haven't talked for 14 years
(16:42):
and I'm not laughing, it's just,you know, I think we have spent
more time not talking in mylife than talking and there's a
lot of reasons for that.
And I love my father and I'mnot angry with my father and I
reach out to my father and don'thear back, and that's okay,
that's it, and I'll get intothat another time.
But when I was younger, myfather's very intelligent, I
(17:06):
mean like super intelligent, andhe came here from Iran, I think
at the age of 17, to go toschool and he's a very
no-nonsense kind of guy and I'dlove him dearly.
But if I said something wrong oreven mispronounced something or
whatever, or I was justfiguring out my own thoughts as
(17:27):
a child, you know, growing up,you know he would jump on it,
you know, and he would criticizeit.
And if it wasn't, just if Iwasn't, you know, if my what I
said wasn't making senselogically, you know, and I was a
kid like we're talking 12, 13,and you know, growing up he
would jump on it and he wouldcriticize it.
(17:48):
And I always felt very stupidaround him to say as very little
as possible, because I feltlike if I wanted to speak, I
need to make sure I crossed allmy T's and dotted all my I's and
had everything very wellthought out before I opened my
(18:08):
mouth to speak it, because if Ididn't, I was going to come
become down hard on right, Imean, it was just so I just
learned to say as little aspossible and and avoid speaking.
So when I was on stage, man, itwas like whoa, it was like how
am I?
And you know, it's true, I meanyou find that a lot with
(18:30):
performers you know in in reallife, many of my friends, many
people I know many people thatyou know of right that you watch
on film.
They're not big extroverts, hey,look at me in their own
personal lives, you know, and so.
But when we get on stage or weget in front of the camera.
For me, I love the stage muchmore than camera.
(18:50):
It's just that's where we comealive, because that's where we
can be free, that's where we canfinally be expressive.
But a lot of times in ourpersonal lives we're more
introvert, right, and I'm thatway.
I mean, I'm very introverted inmy own personal life.
You know, I love people, but Iget more.
(19:10):
You know, it depletes me to bearound a lot of people at a time
and I have to, you know, tore-energize alone.
But I'm very comfortable,almost like being at home.
When I'm on stage, I mean, it'slike, oh, this is like home to
(19:30):
me, it's like, you know, this iswhere I belong.
So, or teaching in front of aclass or doing something like
that is very easy for me to do,um, whereas being in a social
environment is not as easy forme, um, you know, and and so
it's just, it's just funny.
So anyway, um, but you know,that's actually much more
(19:53):
typical than uh, than peoplethink, that they think artists
and performers are these bigextroverted people, and a lot of
them aren't.
A lot of them would rather justgo home and just be at home
body and then go out and go tothe parties and do all the
things that you need to do whenyou're in the business, like
that.
(20:13):
A lot of people would justrather go home Anyway.
So, that being said that, yeah,a lot of people would just
rather go home anyway.
So, that being said, soyesterday was a really big, uh,
really enjoy, a really big,enjoyable moment for me, because
, you know, I went and recordedand I and I didn't really, I
mean, I thought about what Iwanted to say, I wanted to share
my overview of what I was doingand why, but I was able just to
(20:37):
do it without being scripted,without thinking about how I was
saying something.
Did I mispronounce something?
Did I use a word in the wrongway?
And I know better.
But whatever, and hopefullythey'll get it, and I'm just
like, yeah, they'll get it,they'll know what I'm trying to
say, or you know, did I make amistake or did I miscommunicate
anything?
I didn't worry about any ofthat.
I just spoke from my heart andit was a wonderful and exciting
(21:02):
time for me.
I wasn't hiding behind acharacter.
You just got me with all myimperfections and all.
And, yeah, add that to me.
It was wonderful and I thoughtabout, you know, because I
talked to my clients, like youknow, learning to use your voice
, your voice, your authenticself, speaking your own.
(21:22):
You know what's real and rightfor you.
And you know, sometimes we havepeople speaking too much.
I mean I think people share awhole lot too much on social
media and everybody has to shareeverything.
I mean you know, I mean this iswhat I'm eating today for
breakfast, for lunch and fordinner, and how I'm having for a
snack, and it's mean, you know,I mean this is what I'm eating
today for breakfast, for lunchand for dinner, and and how I'm
having for a snack.
And it's like you know.
I mean I get it if you're afood channel, but or you're a
(21:43):
diet channel or whatever, but Imean I don't need your whole
life spread out in front of me.
Some things are just meant tostay private, you know, unless
there's a purpose to it, right,and you know, and my purpose in
(22:07):
some manner.
But to use your own voice, andsometimes I have clients who've
been afraid to.
They want to say something niceto someone, or to compliment
someone, or because they'reafraid that they'll, or to smile
, even smiling at someonebecause the fear of rejection,
or give their opinion onsomething as simple as going out
(22:29):
to dinner.
You know, where would you liketo go eat?
Oh, wherever you want to go isfine.
You know I run a program calledLights Camera Action and it's
about stepping out of the shadowand finding your light, you
know, and finding your light andgetting away from being an
extra.
You know, an extra in the filmor in or, uh, in the theater is
the is basically a walking prop.
(22:50):
You know, you're there to, tofill in the scenery and, um, a
lot of people feel like extrasin their um lives, and so my
lights camera action is abouthelping you become the leading
lady of your life, right Tofinding your light and speaking
your truth and using your voice.
And again, you know, speakingyour truth right now has, you
(23:15):
know, it's just such a strangewhat all, everything that's
going on, but your truthful,authentic self, not being afraid
of being who you are right anddiscovering who that is.
So yesterday was a reallywonderful reminder to me that,
oh, I have my own voice too andI can speak my own voice and
just and be just, truthful andauthentic.
(23:37):
And I thought, well, you knowwhat, so can all of you, you
know, and so if you're listeningto this, like I, you know I, I
one of the things that Ichallenge anybody who goes to my
program, and this isn't to sellmy program, just sharing with
you.
What I do is to say you knowone of the things that I
challenge anybody who goes to myprogram, and this isn't to sell
my program, I'm just sharingwith you.
What I do is to say you know,today, today, every, you know,
just maybe for the week, makethis a challenge.
Say something using your voice.
(23:59):
Maybe you, when you go get yourcoffee at the coffee shop, look
at you know and be authentic,be sincere.
But find someone and complimentthem on something sincerely
right, and just to use yourvoice.
You know, I really love yourhair and because maybe you do
and you've just been too afraidto say it, to say, you know, I
really think that's a reallypretty hairstyle on you, or love
(24:20):
your dress or whatever it is.
Again, make it sincere, don'tjust say it just to throw it out
there, because people, you know, we always want to be sincere
in our speech, in our speech,but find something in someone
that you sincerely see somethingin, and actually we could
always, if we truly try, we canalways find something to
compliment somebody on, right,there's always something if we
(24:40):
look for it.
Again, it's about perception.
And so look and, just for youknow, once a day for the week,
find something to say to someone, even if it's just good morning
, and using your own voice, andvery gently start to step out
using your voice, using yourauthentic, you know, voice of
(25:03):
your thoughts and your feelings,and sharing authentically what
you feel and to say hello, goodmorning.
Really, you have such abeautiful smile, you know.
Or someone says where do youwant to go for dinner?
Tell them, you know what, Iknow, I don't really feel like
whatever today, you know, I feellike this and just very simple,
(25:25):
something easy, you know,nothing that's challenging or
that you feel might be startedargument, nothing, nothing like
that, right, but just somethingeasy that you can just put out
there and start to feelcomfortable in your own voice.
All right, that's it for today.
I probably went on and on waytoo long.
So anyway, I I challenge you.
(25:46):
If you take the challenge andyou say something, post it, you
know, send it to me on X or justmessage me on um, on my website
.
I'd love to hear about it and I, I mean I do have other social
medias but I kind of droppedthem.
You know, I, I, I mean I, Ihave a channel on Instagram and
(26:06):
um and all that, and I don'treally am not active on it.
I'm really more active onTwitter and I'm more or X sorry
on X and then, of course, on mywebsite.
So I'd love to hear how youmade your voice heard this week,
simply easily, with very, youknow, low, low, low cost.
(26:27):
Low, low, low.
You know pressure.
What low pressure way you usedyour voice this week.
All right, I'm out of here.
I'm going to start my liquidfast.
I will let you know how it goes.
Have a beautiful, beautiful day, all right, bye-bye.
Good morning.
It is good, it is a goodmorning.
So I thought I would go aheadand post about this is the first
day of my at home retreat and Ithought I would share what I
did to prepare for the retreatbit of an update of what's going
(00:26):
on for that day.
If I post daily or whatever Ipost, give you an update of
what's going on and then alsomaybe what a takeaway is that?
I a revelation or a takeaway oran aha moment that I had and
we'll see how that goes.
So you have to excuse me, youknow I get up in the morning.
I do decide that morning is areally good time for me to get
up.
So I'm a little gravelly frombeing in the morning but also
(00:46):
been really sniffly and sneezyand I'm like I'm detoxing,
something obviously, which isgood.
I don't know what I might'vegotten into.
It could be just that we'reredoing the house or, you know,
doing the touch-ups, like I'dmentioned.
So today I'm just going to goin and do some neti potting and
(01:07):
neti potting I don't know ifthat's how you say, neti, you
know the neti pot and maybe dosome essential oils and
inhalations to help, to helpsupport my body to detox and do
what it needs to do to clean outwhatever it needs to clean out.
So if I'm a little snuffly orsniffly and gravelly, please
forgive the sound of my voice.
Okay, that all being said, whatdid I do yesterday to prepare?
(01:27):
So yesterday was Friday and soI decided to do the liquid gaps
fast, as I mentioned, thisweekend.
I think it's a really good timeto do a liquid fast over the
weekend, because not much itgoes on over the week.
You know, on the weekend I canjust chill out.
I got a lot of reading materialthat I can do.
I'm not going to be doing a lotof workout or strenuous work
(01:48):
anyway on a liquid fast.
So picked up my readingmaterial that I want to do.
I'm working on some differentmeditation works and breath work
.
So a lot of just kind of doingthat type of thing meditation, a
lot of just kind of doing thattype of thing meditation, some
breath work, reading,contemplating, journaling.
(02:09):
I keep a journal with me.
I'll tell you a little bitabout journaling, getting off
topic and then getting back on.
I'll get back on.
But so I've hated journalinglike my whole fricking life.
I mean hated it, and it's justlike oh gosh, well, okay, so my
brain works faster than my handOkay, but maybe most people do,
(02:31):
but my brain works faster thanmy hand.
I can't keep up with thethoughts that run through my
head and so my handwriting getssuper, super messy.
I mean, just like you know,chicken scratch Right, and um, I
mean, so bad, I can't even readit.
I mean, I know, when I was,when I was working in the
business and I and I'd have tokeep my notes, uh, this is
before I.
I just like doing handwrittennotes, I don't know why instead
(02:52):
of computer, but I've moved tothe computer to do it because
nobody could read my handwriting.
And they're like what are you?
What do you write?
What was the post-it note youput on my computer?
I'm like, I don't know what Isaid, I can't read my own
writing.
Later I moved to a messagingboard on the computer and it was
much easier, but I still do alot of jotted, you know whatever
(03:14):
post-it notes, but I can't readmy own writing.
So I never liked journalingbecause I just I couldn't keep
up with my thoughts.
And so I'd start a journal andI'm like, okay, I'm going to
start drilling and then I may belike a day or two, and then I
just dropped it.
And then I thought, you know,anyway it's just, it's more
stuff that I want to keep aroundthe house.
I'm really not about keeping alot of.
I have a lot of you know stuff,I guess you would say.
(03:39):
But all the stuff I have isimportant to me.
You know, it's eithersentimental or it was given to
me.
I don't just have stuff to havestuff, and I'm a purger.
So like twice a year I did thiswhen my kids were little too we
would go through all theirclothes, go through all their
toys, and at their Christmastime and after each of the
(04:00):
birthdays we'd go through andwe'd gather all the things that
you know we didn't want anymoreand we'd either donate them or
give them away or what have you.
And I'm the same way, you know,if it, if it's just a you know,
a dust collector, then I don'tkeep it.
If it's something that's amemento, absolutely without a
doubt, I'll keep it for life.
(04:20):
I'll be buried with it, right?
But yeah, so you know I'm not abig clutterer.
And I thought what am I goingto do with all these journals?
If I keep a journal, I'm likeOK, you know anyway.
But it's funny though is that Istarted journaling because I've
been trying to keep track of mydreams and being more conscious
about my dreaming.
(04:41):
So I started just keeping adream journal and then a lot of
times, when I wake up in themiddle of the night, you know,
and I'm tossing and turning,it's really just I realized,
just letting that happen becausea lot of things are coming to
me, but I don't want to losethose.
So I've been journaling those.
So now, now I keep a journalwith me wherever I go.
It's ridiculous, but I do,because thoughts will pop into
(05:03):
me or things I want to sharewith you or you know, and I'll
write these things down becauseI don't want to lose them.
So now I keep a journal by thebed and then I wake up and I
take it with me and wherever Igo because you never know, when
you know, a thought or aninspiration, an idea, uh, or
something I want to share withmy clients will pop into my head
, head I got to, I got to writeit down before I forget it, and
(05:25):
so, anyway, so I do that, and sonow I I love journaling because
now it's, it's useful to me.
That makes sense.
Anyway, it's just my, you know,it's just the way you think of
things.
So it's just, it's amazing,when you change your perspective
on something, how we can changeeverything, right?
(05:46):
I mean, we don't live inreality, we live in our
perception of reality, and Idon't mean that like we're
living in a matrix, I mean, Idon't mean that in that sense.
But meaning what we see is notnecessarily what we're
responding to.
We're responding to what we see, what we believe it to be, the
(06:07):
message we're giving about whatwe're seeing.
You know what we're receiving.
So there's reality, and thenit's our perception that we
place on our reality that werespond to, right, and that's
why people can have the sameexperience but respond to it
differently, because theirperception of it is different,
(06:28):
right?
So I've changed my perception,my perspective, on journaling,
and so now I not only journal, Ijournal all day long, okay.
So, that being said, I don'teven know why I shared that, but
I have my journal with me.
That's why.
So I have my journal.
I know I want to do some deepmeditations and some breath work
(06:50):
and some reflection time thisweekend, so it's a perfect time
for me to do a liquid fast.
So what did I prepare?
As I said, my fermented drinks,right, my beet, kvass, cabbage,
tonic, vegetable medley, andwhat I do is these are fermented
drinks that I will just drinkthe brine or just the liquid,
and these are all drinks thatare very, if you're part of
(07:11):
nourishing traditions, if youknow about nourishing traditions
or the GAPS diet, and GAPS justreal briefly stands for gut and
psychology syndrome or gut andphysiology syndrome, and so all
these fermented foods, likefermented dairy and fermented
vegetables and fermentedvegetable brine, vegetable
(07:33):
drinks, right, are part of theGAPS diet.
So, on the GAPS liquid fast,I'm going to be drinking all the
fermented liquids.
I made a meat stock, but I madeit just with clear, no meat, no
vegetables, just the clearliquid.
I also, of course, made lots ofherbal teas.
I like really doing coldinfusion teas, so I will do so.
(07:55):
I did some dandelion root anddandelion leaf, some milk
thistle, I did some cleaver'stea, and these are all teas that
I infused in water, in justroom temperature water,
overnight.
I put into a half gallon jarwith a two part lid, you know
(08:17):
mason jar, and let them infuseovernight, and then I drink
those teas.
You know I strain them and thendrink them throughout the day,
and these are teas that I madethat will help to support
detoxification of the liver andthe kidneys and the lymph system
.
So I have my herbal teas, Ihave my meat stock, I have my
fermented drinks, I have also,of course, water, and I'll do
(08:41):
lemon in the water because lemonis a wonderful stimulate for
the liver and the kidneys andhelps to flush the kidneys and
liver.
And then, of course, just whatelse.
I guess I think that's about itas far as diet-wise is
concerned.
(09:02):
And then, so now we'll justfocus on that for the next two
days, saturday and Sunday, andthen, of course, like I said, in
reading and preparing and doingsome meditations and doing some
breath work and that, andjournaling and praying and
reflecting and all that.
So that is the plan.
(09:24):
I think that is all I need toshare about preparing for this
retreat.
So now I'll share a bigtakeaway.
Okay, so it was a lot of funyesterday posting something just
off the cuff.
Hopefully it wasn't too boringfor you.
It's like okay, is she going toget on with it?
I guess maybe at some point Iwill have to begin, do an
(09:46):
outline, and so I can, you know,not go on and on, but I have to
say one of the things I gotdone, doing that I actually was
super excited after doing therecording and I'm going to
explain to you why.
So a little share, a littlehonesty here.
(10:08):
You know, my whole life I'vebeen a performer, I mean, you
know, whether dancing or acting,and I love playing characters,
you know.
And, and one of the things Iloved when I did my Restrain no
More show during 2008 and 2009,which was a political satire
show, and I did all thesecharacters and I love characters
, I love character acting,character acting where you're
(10:30):
just really doing all these kindof, you know, extreme
characters.
Right, it's fun.
And I learned early on that Ihad a?
Um, a good handle on accents.
I could pick up accents.
There's a few I can't, um,there's a few I have to still
kind of working on, it's likeyou know, but a lot of accents
if I hear it, if all I have todo is kind of hear it and I go
(10:51):
and I can, I can, I can do it,which is which is great.
Unfortunately, it almostsometimes I'll pick up people's
accents and I start to use theaccent unknowingly, and so it's
like, and I have to catch itbecause maybe it makes you know,
I've never been told, you know,criticized for it.
(11:11):
But I will catch myself like,oh, I'm using that, you know
this person's accent becauseI've been talking with them and
hearing them and then picking uptheir accent and I have to kind
of catch myself.
I hear myself because of courseI don't want them to think that
I'm mocking them or anything,because I'm not at all, but it's
just something that naturallyhappens for me and nothing I try
(11:33):
to do.
But anyway, but I love accentsand I have used throughout my
life as performing.
Quite honestly, I hadn't beenvery comfortable throughout my
life using my own voice.
I know that sounds weird ormaybe it doesn't, maybe you
understand it that just speakingin your own voice, and I
(11:58):
thought about that yesterday Ithought you know why is that?
Why is it?
I really hid behind a mask andwhether it was a mask, behind
just another character playingon stage or on film, on camera,
or whether it was an accent,putting my opinions in my
(12:18):
Restrain and More show, I wroteit and produced it and obviously
it was my own thoughts, but Iput these opinions and these
thoughts behind a character,thoughts behind a character
right, and it's kind of abarrier, it's kind of a
protective covering that anactor can use, is using,
obviously, a character right, soyou can be vulnerable without
(12:41):
really being vulnerable.
If that makes sense, you canexpose yourself, and I don't
mean exposure in an X-rated, butI mean expose your inner
thought or your opinions withoutreally exposing yourself.
Okay, and I'd done that and Ithought to myself well, I wonder
why that's always beencomfortable for me, but using my
own voice has been souncomfortable, right, and I
(13:02):
always go with I wonder and, andyou know, just using asking,
saying those words, I wonder,you know it immediately.
Um, especially if you're in anemotional state, you know, say I
wonder why I'm feeling this way, and it immediately helps you
to kind of get out of theemotion, get out of the getting
in the middle of something andget into a place of just
(13:25):
observing and where now you'reable to see it and separate
yourself from any kind of heavyemotion.
It's a really great trick foryou if you're in a heavy emotion
.
Just I wonder.
But also, there's no judgmentin wondering, right, when you
say I wonder, there's nojudgment, you're just curious
(13:45):
and you're asking a questionthat you really know the answer
to, but you're kind of asking itto kind of go hmm, I wonder
what that is.
And then you're allowing thoseanswers to come up without
judgment and allowing whateverto reveal itself to you.
And so I asked myself, I wonderwhy I never really felt
comfortable in my own voice, butalways felt comfortable behind
(14:07):
a character or in charactervoices or accents or what have
you.
And I think a lot of it had todo with the answer that came to
me and I'm still wondering.
So more might come or deepertruth might reveal itself.
But is that when I was young Iwas bullied.
I mean, from a very young ageprobably, I think like first,
second grade.
I just remember being bulliedall the way up through, I think,
(14:31):
at high school.
I was done.
At that point I was done, I hadhad it and I stood up and I
made myself known, let's justsay, and from that point forward
nobody messed with me anymore.
But I put up with a lot ofbullying and had to learn to
defend myself and had to learnto fight and had to learn to
(14:55):
protect myself.
And I was teased a lot, youknow, just teased and not just
teased by other kids but teasedby teachers and, and there's a
lot of reasons for the teasing.
I wasn't really well dressed,you know.
You know I I really wasn't welltaken care of as a child and
not, you know, not to.
So I was easy, I was an easytarget and I remember thinking
(15:17):
like Lord, do you do I have akick me sign on my back, like
you know, like all the time,like is it perpetual kick me
sign on my back and is ittattooed on my back?
And because it just seemed tobe, that's the way it went, you
know, and I'm OK with that nowbecause I realize it made me
very resilient and it made mestand up for myself and made me
(15:38):
become a fighter, and a fighterin my spirit to never allow
somebody else, to never allowsomebody else to be kicked
around.
So it really made me someonewho would want to protect others
.
So, you know, everything inlife helps you.
All this tough stuff it'spainful, but it'll tell you what
(15:59):
it does.
You can use it to help someoneelse.
So, even though these weremoments of pain in my life, I
realized they helped me to bewhat I am.
But because of the teasing andthe bullying and so forth and so
on.
I just learned to shut up.
I just learned not to speak,right?
(16:21):
You know?
Um uh, just learned to just sayas as little as I possibly
could.
And then I went a little deeperand realized it was also my
father, and my father I mean,you know, he's still alive, he's
in his eighties now and we havea very strained relationship.
I mean, we haven't so strained,we haven't talked for 14 years
(16:42):
and I'm not laughing, it's just,you know, I think we have spent
more time not talking in mylife than talking and there's a
lot of reasons for that.
And I love my father and I'mnot angry with my father and I
reach out to my father and don'thear back, and that's okay,
that's it, and I'll get intothat another time.
But when I was younger, myfather's very intelligent, I
(17:06):
mean like super intelligent, andhe came here from Iran, I think
at the age of 17, to go toschool and he's a very
no-nonsense kind of guy and I'dlove him dearly.
But if I said something wrong oreven mispronounced something or
whatever, or I was justfiguring out my own thoughts as
(17:27):
a child, you know, growing up,you know he would jump on it,
you know, and he would criticizeit.
And if it wasn't, just if Iwasn't, you know, if my what I
said wasn't making senselogically, you know, and I was a
kid like we're talking 12, 13,and you know, growing up he
would jump on it and he wouldcriticize it.
(17:48):
And I always felt very stupidaround him to say as very little
as possible, because I feltlike if I wanted to speak, I
need to make sure I crossed allmy T's and dotted all my I's and
had everything very wellthought out before I opened my
(18:08):
mouth to speak it, because if Ididn't, I was going to come
become down hard on right, Imean, it was just so I just
learned to say as little aspossible and and avoid speaking.
So when I was on stage, man, itwas like whoa, it was like how
am I?
And you know, it's true, I meanyou find that a lot with
(18:30):
performers you know in in reallife, many of my friends, many
people I know many people thatyou know of right that you watch
on film.
They're not big extroverts, hey,look at me in their own
personal lives, you know, and so.
But when we get on stage or weget in front of the camera.
For me, I love the stage muchmore than camera.
(18:50):
It's just that's where we comealive, because that's where we
can be free, that's where we canfinally be expressive.
But a lot of times in ourpersonal lives we're more
introvert, right, and I'm thatway.
I mean, I'm very introverted inmy own personal life.
You know, I love people, but Iget more.
(19:10):
You know, it depletes me to bearound a lot of people at a time
and I have to, you know, tore-energize alone.
But I'm very comfortable,almost like being at home.
When I'm on stage, I mean, it'slike, oh, this is like home to
(19:30):
me, it's like, you know, this iswhere I belong.
So, or teaching in front of aclass or doing something like
that is very easy for me to do,um, whereas being in a social
environment is not as easy forme, um, you know, and and so
it's just, it's just funny.
So anyway, um, but you know,that's actually much more
(19:53):
typical than uh, than peoplethink, that they think artists
and performers are these bigextroverted people, and a lot of
them aren't.
A lot of them would rather justgo home and just be at home
body and then go out and go tothe parties and do all the
things that you need to do whenyou're in the business, like
that.
(20:13):
A lot of people would justrather go home Anyway.
So, that being said that, yeah,a lot of people would just
rather go home anyway.
So, that being said, soyesterday was a really big, uh,
really enjoy, a really big,enjoyable moment for me, because
, you know, I went and recordedand I and I didn't really, I
mean, I thought about what Iwanted to say, I wanted to share
my overview of what I was doingand why, but I was able just to
(20:37):
do it without being scripted,without thinking about how I was
saying something.
Did I mispronounce something?
Did I use a word in the wrongway?
And I know better.
But whatever, and hopefullythey'll get it, and I'm just
like, yeah, they'll get it,they'll know what I'm trying to
say, or you know, did I make amistake or did I miscommunicate
anything?
I didn't worry about any ofthat.
I just spoke from my heart andit was a wonderful and exciting
(21:02):
time for me.
I wasn't hiding behind acharacter.
You just got me with all myimperfections and all.
And, yeah, add that to me.
It was wonderful and I thoughtabout, you know, because I
talked to my clients, like youknow, learning to use your voice
, your voice, your authenticself, speaking your own.
(21:22):
You know what's real and rightfor you.
And you know, sometimes we havepeople speaking too much.
I mean I think people share awhole lot too much on social
media and everybody has to shareeverything.
I mean you know, I mean this iswhat I'm eating today for
breakfast, for lunch and fordinner, and how I'm having for a
snack, and it's mean, you know,I mean this is what I'm eating
today for breakfast, for lunchand for dinner, and and how I'm
having for a snack.
And it's like you know.
I mean I get it if you're afood channel, but or you're a
(21:43):
diet channel or whatever, but Imean I don't need your whole
life spread out in front of me.
Some things are just meant tostay private, you know, unless
there's a purpose to it, right,and you know, and my purpose in
(22:07):
some manner.
But to use your own voice, andsometimes I have clients who've
been afraid to.
They want to say something niceto someone, or to compliment
someone, or because they'reafraid that they'll, or to smile
, even smiling at someonebecause the fear of rejection,
or give their opinion onsomething as simple as going out
(22:29):
to dinner.
You know, where would you liketo go eat?
Oh, wherever you want to go isfine.
You know I run a program calledLights Camera Action and it's
about stepping out of the shadowand finding your light, you
know, and finding your light andgetting away from being an
extra.
You know, an extra in the filmor in or, uh, in the theater is
the is basically a walking prop.
(22:50):
You know, you're there to, tofill in the scenery and, um, a
lot of people feel like extrasin their um lives, and so my
lights camera action is abouthelping you become the leading
lady of your life, right Tofinding your light and speaking
your truth and using your voice.
And again, you know, speakingyour truth right now has, you
(23:15):
know, it's just such a strangewhat all, everything that's
going on, but your truthful,authentic self, not being afraid
of being who you are right anddiscovering who that is.
So yesterday was a reallywonderful reminder to me that,
oh, I have my own voice too andI can speak my own voice and
just and be just, truthful andauthentic.
(23:37):
And I thought, well, you knowwhat, so can all of you, you
know, and so if you're listeningto this, like I, you know I, I
one of the things that Ichallenge anybody who goes to my
program, and this isn't to sellmy program, just sharing with
you.
What I do is to say you knowone of the things that I
challenge anybody who goes to myprogram, and this isn't to sell
my program, I'm just sharingwith you.
What I do is to say you know,today, today, every, you know,
just maybe for the week, makethis a challenge.
Say something using your voice.
(23:59):
Maybe you, when you go get yourcoffee at the coffee shop, look
at you know and be authentic,be sincere.
But find someone and complimentthem on something sincerely
right, and just to use yourvoice.
You know, I really love yourhair and because maybe you do
and you've just been too afraidto say it, to say, you know, I
really think that's a reallypretty hairstyle on you, or love
(24:20):
your dress or whatever it is.
Again, make it sincere, don'tjust say it just to throw it out
there, because people, you know, we always want to be sincere
in our speech, in our speech,but find something in someone
that you sincerely see somethingin, and actually we could
always, if we truly try, we canalways find something to
compliment somebody on, right,there's always something if we
(24:40):
look for it.
Again, it's about perception.
And so look and, just for youknow, once a day for the week,
find something to say to someone, even if it's just good morning
, and using your own voice, andvery gently start to step out
using your voice, using yourauthentic, you know, voice of
(25:03):
your thoughts and your feelings,and sharing authentically what
you feel and to say hello, goodmorning.
Really, you have such abeautiful smile, you know.
Or someone says where do youwant to go for dinner?
Tell them, you know what, Iknow, I don't really feel like
whatever today, you know, I feellike this and just very simple,
(25:25):
something easy, you know,nothing that's challenging or
that you feel might be startedargument, nothing, nothing like
that, right, but just somethingeasy that you can just put out
there and start to feelcomfortable in your own voice.
All right, that's it for today.
I probably went on and on waytoo long.
So anyway, I I challenge you.
(25:46):
If you take the challenge andyou say something, post it, you
know, send it to me on X or justmessage me on um, on my website
.
I'd love to hear about it and I, I mean I do have other social
medias but I kind of droppedthem.
You know, I, I, I mean I, Ihave a channel on Instagram and
(26:06):
um and all that, and I don'treally am not active on it.
I'm really more active onTwitter and I'm more or X sorry
on X and then, of course, on mywebsite.
So I'd love to hear how youmade your voice heard this week,
simply easily, with very, youknow, low, low, low cost.
(26:27):
Low, low, low.
You know pressure.
What low pressure way you usedyour voice this week.
All right, I'm out of here.
I'm going to start my liquidfast.
I will let you know how it goes.
Have a beautiful, beautiful day, all right, bye-bye.
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