March 26, 2025 • 29 mins
Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!
We've been diving into the final part of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, and we want to share what stood out most. Here's what we discovered: Ruiz lays out a path to reclaiming your personal freedom by breaking unconscious, limiting beliefs—what he calls “agreements”—and replacing them with empowering ones.
He introduces three masteries: awareness, transformation, and intent:
(1) Awareness is recognizing the beliefs running in the background of your life. Once they come into consciousness, they stop running the show.
(2) Transformation is actively replacing those limiting beliefs with ones that reflect your truth—not just repeating affirmations, but actually believing what you’re telling yourself.
(3) Intent is choosing what you truly want and aligning your actions with that desire.
When you put all of this together, you create what Ruiz calls the “new dream”—what we like to think of as emotional freedom. It’s not a fluffy something. It’s powerful, and it become tangible and measurable in your life. It begins with loving yourself enough to live intentionally and release what no longer serves you.
Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Debbie (00:03):
Hello Sheros, thank you all for being here with us as we
discuss the remainder of thebook, the Four Agreements by don
Miguel Ruiz.
I think, before we go too muchfurther, I want to say if you
have not read this book, it ishighly recommended by both
Deborah and I.
(00:24):
It's a really easy read and thefour agreements are agreements
that you make with yourself, andI think that is magical.
Actually, Deborah, why don'tyou share with us the audience
about this final part of thebook?
Deborah (00:45):
I'd be happy to.
So we have Chapter 6 andChapter 7.
That are the final chapters ofthe book, and Chapter 6 is the
Toltec Path to Freedom, BreakingOld Agreements.
And Chapter 7 is the new dreamHeaven on Earth agreements.
(01:07):
And chapter seven is the newdream heaven on earth.
So with chapter six we'retalking about the freedom and as
the ability to, for each of usto be our authentic selves
without all of the restraints ofsocietal domestication and he.
This chapter shows us that,unlike children that just show
(01:28):
up as their authentic selves,don't worry about what mom and
dad well, for the most part,what society says they should do
, they just are acting freelyout of their self-expression
(01:49):
self-expression.
So this chapter invites us tolook at and reclaim that freedom
that we had as children Reallyyoung children though.
Really, really young children,because at a certain age,
obviously, all of us start tobecome, you know, indoctrinated
People, start putting their youknow, their beliefs and their
views and their restrictions anddon't do this and don't do that
, and girls don't do this, boysdon't do that on us.
(02:10):
Yeah, domestication, yeah.
And so then, ruiz, in thischapter, talks about three
masteries of the Toltectradition, and the three
masteries are awareness,transformation and the mastery
of intent, and so I thought wewould talk about those three for
(02:32):
a little while.
Yeah, tell us about it.
Debbie (02:34):
I mean, I get what awareness is I get what
transformation is.
I understand intent, but what'she talking about when he says
that we should master these?
Deborah (02:48):
Well, what we need to do, okay, so let's take first
I'll take them each individually, so let's start with awareness.
So what he's saying, thatawareness means to the Toltec
tradition, is that we recognizethe restrictive agreements and
beliefs that we've adopted andwe don't become a slave to them.
(03:09):
We just know that there arethese things and in my life, I
know that these are my thingsand especially when I'm having
interactions with people that Iwant to stay connected with, I
can say, okay, I recognize this,whatever it is, this agreement
(03:29):
or this belief and I'm not goingto let that affect my current
situation, or I'm just going toknow that it affects my current
situation and be open to whatcomes.
Debbie (03:42):
I think this is a really important one and I love that
you're calling agreements likebeliefs and beliefs agreements,
because you know, we hear a lotabout limiting beliefs, right
Right, or disempowering beliefsor being stuck.
And I don't know about you, butman, I've been stuck in things,
(04:04):
even in my business, and itfeels like I've hit a ceiling,
but I don't know why I can't gofurther and flushing it out, I
eventually go.
Or a coach or a mentor will say, debbie, that sounds like a
limiting belief.
Because I might say somethingI'll just say for business it
was like, well, I can't raise myprices, people aren't paying
(04:26):
what, what you know, I wascharging at that time she goes
to me that sounds like alimiting belief.
And until she said those words,I didn't realize I'd actually
made that agreement with myselfthat I'm I'm only worth this
much, therefore my program'sonly worth this much.
So I didn't realize that it wasa limiting belief or an
(04:48):
agreement.
So it's just huge and I justwanted to acknowledge it before
we put too many.
Put it all to you know, allthree of them together, and just
take a moment and recognize howmany beliefs do we have, how
many agreements have we madethat we may not even be aware of
(05:09):
Right.
Deborah (05:10):
And I always say I tell my clients, you know, when I'm
coaching them on self-care andself-wellness, that the first
step in every, every journey ishaving that awareness and every,
every journey is having thatawareness.
And I can even remember anawareness or a limiting belief
(05:31):
that I had that I was notlovable, that I was damaged
goods, I'd been raped, I'd been,you know, and so I'm damaged
goods, I don't deserve to havethe relationship that I want.
Bringing that awareness tomyself helped me to change that
(05:52):
belief or not be tied down orrestricted to that belief, to
allow me to have thoserelationships that I wanted.
Debbie (06:01):
That's so cool.
You know, Yep, that is so cool.
Deborah (06:07):
So the next thing oh, go ahead.
Do you have to?
No, Well.
Debbie (06:10):
I was going to say something.
Oh, awarenesses.
I'm going to just throw in areal quick neurosciency thing.
It's in our heads almost likean automatic behavior, the
beliefs, the agreements, so muchso that we don't recognize them
, but when we, either throughsomeone sharing something, or
(06:31):
once we finally see it, howeverthat is, it has come from the
subconscious or the unconsciousinto the conscious mind.
That's the awareness.
Because until it comes to theconscious mind, it controls us
exactly.
So once we can get it out and Idon't know like we get it out,
(06:52):
I'm saying like you're gonna digout a pearl out of an oyster or
something, but until somehow itcomes to our awareness, then,
or our conscious mind, it's, itruns the show, and then we can
start running the show once weknow.
Okay, that's what I wanted tosay.
Deborah (07:10):
I love that and I love that optic because I do believe
the pearl out of the oyster.
We are bringing that pearl ofwisdom and awareness that we
have.
We have that wisdom about ourown beliefs, our own restrictive
agreements, and then we digthat pearl out and that's the
(07:33):
beauty, that's where we have thevalue in moving forward.
Debbie (07:38):
That was a really great analogy about that oyster and
pearl and I didn't even mean itthat way.
Way, but it worked perfectly.
Thank you for that.
Deborah (07:46):
Exactly, okay, all right so the next one is the
mastery of transformation, andwhat this is, what this step is
in, according to Ruiz, is thatactively replacing these
limiting agreements withempowering ones.
You know the suggestion well.
(08:07):
The example that I gave of youknow me thinking I'm damaged
goods and I'm nobody's going tolove me.
When I decided that I am thebomb diggity and that I am
worthy of being loved, and thosethings in the past do not
affect my worthiness and myability to being loved, you know
(08:29):
what I attracted love.
I started seeing myself as notonly worthy, but the bomb
diggity.
Debbie (08:38):
I love the bomb diggity.
That's hysterical.
What I what?
I love just the term you arethe bum diggity, baby, the, the,
the replacing limitingagreements with empowering ones.
I I love that so much and I Ithink it's because we hear a lot
(09:02):
about positive affirmations.
There's nothing wrong withpositive affirmations and if
they work for you, that's great.
I found that I needed to reallyresonate with the words I was
speaking in order for me tobelieve the words that were
coming out of my mouth.
That were coming out of mymouth.
For example, I meditated for ayear every day, and I mean every
(09:28):
day was like a, I was part of athing and we meditated, but
separately every day.
For me it was money flowseasily to me.
That was my meditation and Iwould think about that.
I was supposed to, like youknow, dream about the money
flowing into my bank account andeverything.
And I did, I pictured it andall that.
A year later, nothing.
(09:52):
But I also didn't believe what Iwas hearing myself say, the
words I was using the visuals Iwas seeing I was still under the
spell, the agreement that Iwasn't worth that money coming
in.
So, like you're talking aboutchanging that belief that you're
(10:15):
the bomb diggity, like.
I love that because yougenuinely believed it and you
got it.
You got an incredible partnerin your life, right, and so I.
I don't want to say anythingbad about positive affirmations,
but I want to add to it bysaying you must truly believe
(10:37):
positive them for them to becomeempowering.
So, yeah, go ahead.
Deborah (10:43):
I believe that is absolutely true and because
otherwise it's just an empty.
It's just empty words withoutany of the energy of intent and
love and and and and just theauthenticity behind it, right?
So it's not really you knowwhat's the word that I want to
(11:06):
say it's not really resonatingfor you when you're saying those
affirmations, it's not reallytruly resonating and that energy
isn't actually going out tomanifest what you want, because
it's just not there.
True?
Debbie (11:26):
I really felt it like for a year.
I thought I was convincingmyself, but no, it was not
happening.
But it's okay.
It was an incredible lesson tolearn right.
Exactly a little painful, butalso an incredible lesson.
Deborah (11:40):
Yeah, all right.
So the third one is the masteryof intent.
So harnessing the power of loveand aligning our will with our
true desires, and that's whatwe're talking about, right?
I mean, that's exactly whatwe're talking about, because we
need to really be very clear ofwhat we really, really, really
(12:04):
want.
You know, it just reminds me ofI'm going to the ice cream
station and standing there andlooking at all the flavors and
saying just give me some icecream, you know, and I'm not
telling them the flavor, whetherI want soft, whether I want,
and you're going to get whateverthey pick out.
(12:24):
You're not going to evennecessarily get what you want.
If I'm going for pistachio, Ineed to ask for pistachio.
If I ask for pistachio, I needto know that I love pistachio,
right?
So really focusing in on thelove and aligning with what our
true desire is and being veryclear about that.
Debbie (12:50):
I have something.
A client that I had said shewas very frustrated with her
husband because she wanted himlike to compliment her.
And she actually said saysomething nice to me or say
something you like about me Iforget the words that she used
(13:10):
and he said something positiveabout the way she looked and she
goes that's not what I mean.
And she told me and I was, yeah, like well, what did you mean?
She's like I don't know.
And I said, oh, that'sinteresting.
How, if you?
(13:33):
I don't remember exactly how Isaid it, but basically it's like
, if we don't know what we want,how do we expect other people
to know for us?
How do we expect other peopleto know for us?
We are living our lives.
We're living in our head, we'reexperiencing everything that we
go through.
I know it sounds a littleredundant and strange, but the
other person is not in our dailylife living everything.
(13:56):
So if we don't know what wewant that's the mastery of
intent, aligning with our will,with our true desires If we
don't know what our desires aretruly, how can we expect other
people to know what they are?
So I just, I was just, I wasblown away, like just thinking,
because I think I've done thatmyself in, you know marriage
(14:19):
going.
You know I want ice cream,right, and my husband comes back
with almond mint and I'm like Iwanted pistachio and we're like
how we love me.
You would know that's theperfect answer.
If you love me, you should knowWow, where did that come from?
(14:42):
Yeah, yeah, I bet you.
There's a lot, a lot of stuffgoing on.
So is that?
I'm just asking is that anagreement we make with ourselves
that other people should knowwhat I want?
Do you think?
Deborah (14:57):
It is a belief, and it is a limiting belief.
Okay, that's the way that I seeit.
And when we're talking aboutthese three masteries, ruiz is
suggesting that by practicingthese masteries, we can
dismantle the internal judge andvictim, therefore restoring our
(15:24):
innate freedom and joy.
So, in that, that um, that umexample that you gave, right
then you were the judge and youwere the victim.
You know and so, or he was thejudge and he was the victim.
So by being very clear aboutthese things, you eliminate that
relationship and you both showup as whole and complete
(15:48):
individuals.
At least you do.
That's the only thing that wehave control over.
Debbie (15:53):
Exactly Okay, cool, all right.
Deborah (15:57):
So let's move into chapter seven.
And this is the dream, this iswhat Ruiz calls heaven on earth,
and so, in this chapter, heencourages us to envision a life
free from fear and thoselimiting beliefs and judgments
(16:17):
and self-imposed limitations,and create your personal heaven
on earth.
Right Because oh, that soundsfluffy, doesn't it sound fluffy
Because?
But it can be done.
Right, because in our situation, our earth that we're living in
(16:37):
right now, there's no heaven,you know.
So I love the idea of creatingmy own, and he asserts that by
adopting the four agreements andbreaking these old patterns, we
can create a new reality that'sfilled with love, happiness and
fulfillment.
But I think, you know, in myview, we create this by leading
(17:01):
with love, by being love, and Iknow that sounds woo-woo too,
but I truly believe that's theway forward.
Debbie (17:10):
Well, I can't disagree with that.
I think that we really cannotlove another anymore.
How do I say this?
We can only love others to thedegree that we can love
ourselves, and it's like, if Ican, does that make sense to you
(17:30):
?
first of all, Um yes and no,okay, why don't we talk about
that?
After you talk about this?
I wanted to ask you this aboutthe heaven on earth thing Would
you say that heaven on earth isakin to emotional freedom?
Yes, you talked about, okay,being free from, like fear and
(17:51):
the self-imposed limitations.
Although we didn't know, weself-imposed them.
That always gets me veryfrustrated, like I didn't do
that.
Oh, yes, you did, but we didand we just didn't realize it,
and I think that we talked aboutthis earlier.
We did do it, but because wewere trying to protect ourselves
(18:12):
, we made agreements because thealternative to that was maybe
more painful, and then thatstuck, and so that's why it's
quote unquote self-imposed, okay, so, okay, I can see heaven on
earth, if I can look at it asgetting emotional freedom,
because I know I have done that.
(18:33):
So you want to share thetransformative process so that
everybody else knows what we'retalking about?
Deborah (18:39):
Okay, so, again, he said that we can create um new
reality filled with love andhappiness and fulfillment and
these transformational process.
The way that we get there fromhere is by imagination, choice
and love.
So imagination first.
(19:00):
What does he mean by that?
Visualizing a life where weexpress ourselves freely,
authentically and, I will add,with love.
Right, so I?
One of the intentions that Istate in my meditations is that
(19:24):
I want to live a conscious lifewith a level of lightness of
being so these limiting huh.
Debbie (19:33):
Would you call that self-love?
Deborah (19:49):
No, yes, I would say, maybe no, I would say that when,
with the lightness of beingmeans I'm not carrying around
all those limiting beliefs, Ican't.
I'm not carrying around all ofthose restrictions, so I can
live in my own.
Debbie (19:59):
How is that?
How is that not self-love?
That sounds totally.
It's like I love myself enoughto not carry this around.
That's how I hear it.
Well, no, that's true oh, I'mjust.
Deborah (20:14):
I think what I'm saying is it's not just self-love, ah,
gotcha, okay, I think it's alot of things.
Yeah, you love yourself to beenough.
You love yourself to beauthentic.
You love yourself yourself tobe authentic.
You love yourself enough towant to free yourself from these
things that allow you to walkthe earth with the lightness of
being.
I'm not saying that you'rerunning around with unicorns and
(20:37):
flowers in your life every day.
That's just not the way itworks.
But you're able to have thatlightness that allows you to
experience and express yourselffreely and completely without
those restrictions.
So just imagining how thatlooks without having those
(21:01):
restrictions is really cool,yeah.
Debbie (21:04):
I think we have to be authentic and have a love for
ourselves in order to be able todo that, because so much of the
time, so many of us spendlooking for that external
validation and not being willingto be ourselves because, uh-,
(21:25):
what will quote?
They think, whoever they is, Ican't be myself.
Yeah, okay, keep going.
Deborah (21:33):
And that runs right into the second one on Andy.
Debbie, you named it right.
So we make a choice.
We make a choice that we're notgoing to live that way, we're
not going to live inhibited bythose restrictions and
irrespective of what is going onin externally, right?
(21:54):
So we are going to make thechoice that we're going to live
in a state of bliss, a lightnessof being and again, not
unicorns and whatever, but achoice that we are going to live
our best lives and, um, notshackled by those, um, what is
(22:15):
it what I'm thinking?
Restrictions, limitations,self-imposed limitations, you
know all of those thingsjudgment, fear.
I'm not going to stay in fear.
I may experience fear.
I'm not going to say that I'mnot going to experience fear,
but I'm not going to stay infear.
I may experience fear.
I'm not going to say that I'mnot going to experience fear,
but what I'm not going to do isstay there.
Debbie (22:34):
Exactly, I get you.
I get you Like I know what youmean by that and how and
learning a process that worksfor you.
Where, when that fear does comeup, how do you move beyond it?
What does it?
What do we as individuals do sothat when that fear shows up,
we can move through it?
I'll say, as quickly aspossible but reasonable, that we
(22:56):
can get to that other side,that does become that peaceful
space, right?
I mean, he calls heaven onearth.
That sounds like unicorns andflowers to me.
It does I.
I prefer to.
For me, what feels better is tocall it like emotional freedom,
inner peace, joy, happiness.
(23:18):
Those phrases feel better tomove through that fear and get
to the other side.
Deborah (23:23):
So I totally agree with that.
And not only that, but get tothe other side by.
So I totally agree with that.
And not only that, but get tothe other side by embracing love
as a force that transformseverything self-love, self-care,
love for other humans, love forhumanity, not othering and by
releasing yourself from thoserestrictions.
(23:45):
Oh my gosh, you know you'rerunning around with the
lightness of being because thosethings are not tearing you down
, right?
So I don't.
I know that Ruiz calls this thenew dream, and it's attainable
for anyone wanting to challengetheir existing beliefs and
embrace a life that is alignedwith their true selves right, so
(24:10):
right.
Debbie (24:11):
So we're getting to the, the close, but before we end,
kind of just wrap that up andput it, put a little bow on it
for us.
Deborah (24:19):
No, you're not the boss of me.
You put the bow on it I canwrap it up.
Debbie (24:27):
Do you want me to?
No, I mean yeah, oh well, I'llstart.
Join me, however you want to.
I think that the fouragreements are hugely powerful.
Powerful If a person hasdiscomforts, whether it's fear,
(24:53):
overwhelm, overthinking, worry,anxiety, if they get quickly
negatively charged, if somebodysays something that they feel
like that person's challengingtheir core values, or maybe
(25:14):
there's a need that's notgetting met consistently from
maybe the child, your child inyour life, or a spouse or a
parent.
These four agreements canliterally bring you more peace
in your heart than I'll saypretty much, because you know
everybody's got their way ofhandling things.
(25:35):
But these four agreements canbring more peace inside your
heart, inside your life, in yourmind, than anything I've ever
experienced before.
Now I believe there's otherprocesses, but basically it's
the same four agreements.
Right right, how to right,learning how to, whatever that
(25:58):
how to is for you, so that youcan move from the pain to the
pleasure, or from the zero tothe hero in your own life, or
zero to shero, from zero toshero.
You know, seriously, it isabout learning the how-to right
(26:19):
and uh, yeah, that's what we'reall about is is hopefully
bringing those tidbits, those,those life hacks, those you know
tips and tricks that can helppeople do that thing Right.
Is there something else youwanted to share?
Deborah (26:33):
No, I think that you, that you actually encapsulated
it perfectly.
The one thing that I I amreally focusing on myself is
that one where he's talkingabout love.
Embracing love is a fundamentalforce.
I say to myself I am love, I amloving and I am loved.
(27:02):
So that's all it is.
It's just being loving yourself, like you said, enough to allow
yourself to live in love and toexperience love and to have a
great lightness of being life.
Debbie (27:18):
Thank you, deborah, that was really beautiful.
I love that.
I know that I do.
I am challenged, I do.
I am challenged like, insteadof loving, I will turn away or
something.
I mean not all the time,obviously, but there's, there's
things that go on where it'slike I don't want to deal with
that and we don't have to dealwith everything and everybody
you know, you know, but, um, Iwould.
(27:41):
I think that, following the fouragreements and what you said,
like I do see way more lightfrom you.
I've experienced you showingthat when, even when you're like
something was upsetting and andbothered you and and it, you
just took this moment and I Iliterally watched you transform
(28:05):
and show the other person love.
Even though the initially wentagainst I don't know a value or
whatever and it stopped you inyour tracks, you were able to
just bring up love so quicklyand show to the other person and
I just really respect that.
So, yeah, I look forward to oneday when I can do that.
Deborah (28:28):
We don't know when that's going to happen.
You do it all the time.
I'm going to just tell you.
Debbie (28:32):
Okay, so I'm going to tell our audience.
Thank you so much for all ofthe loves, the likes and the
comments we get.
Deborah (28:41):
We appreciate you more than you know, and as always, we
invite you to love and care forthe Shero in you.
Bye, bye.
Hello Sheros, thank you all for being here with us as we
discuss the remainder of thebook, the Four Agreements by don
Miguel Ruiz.
I think, before we go too muchfurther, I want to say if you
have not read this book, it ishighly recommended by both
Deborah and I.
(00:24):
It's a really easy read and thefour agreements are agreements
that you make with yourself, andI think that is magical.
Actually, Deborah, why don'tyou share with us the audience
about this final part of thebook?
Deborah (00:45):
I'd be happy to.
So we have Chapter 6 andChapter 7.
That are the final chapters ofthe book, and Chapter 6 is the
Toltec Path to Freedom, BreakingOld Agreements.
And Chapter 7 is the new dreamHeaven on Earth agreements.
(01:07):
And chapter seven is the newdream heaven on earth.
So with chapter six we'retalking about the freedom and as
the ability to, for each of usto be our authentic selves
without all of the restraints ofsocietal domestication and he.
This chapter shows us that,unlike children that just show
(01:28):
up as their authentic selves,don't worry about what mom and
dad well, for the most part,what society says they should do
, they just are acting freelyout of their self-expression
(01:49):
self-expression.
So this chapter invites us tolook at and reclaim that freedom
that we had as children Reallyyoung children though.
Really, really young children,because at a certain age,
obviously, all of us start tobecome, you know, indoctrinated
People, start putting their youknow, their beliefs and their
views and their restrictions anddon't do this and don't do that
, and girls don't do this, boysdon't do that on us.
(02:10):
Yeah, domestication, yeah.
And so then, ruiz, in thischapter, talks about three
masteries of the Toltectradition, and the three
masteries are awareness,transformation and the mastery
of intent, and so I thought wewould talk about those three for
(02:32):
a little while.
Yeah, tell us about it.
Debbie (02:34):
I mean, I get what awareness is I get what
transformation is.
I understand intent, but what'she talking about when he says
that we should master these?
Deborah (02:48):
Well, what we need to do, okay, so let's take first
I'll take them each individually, so let's start with awareness.
So what he's saying, thatawareness means to the Toltec
tradition, is that we recognizethe restrictive agreements and
beliefs that we've adopted andwe don't become a slave to them.
(03:09):
We just know that there arethese things and in my life, I
know that these are my thingsand especially when I'm having
interactions with people that Iwant to stay connected with, I
can say, okay, I recognize this,whatever it is, this agreement
(03:29):
or this belief and I'm not goingto let that affect my current
situation, or I'm just going toknow that it affects my current
situation and be open to whatcomes.
Debbie (03:42):
I think this is a really important one and I love that
you're calling agreements likebeliefs and beliefs agreements,
because you know, we hear a lotabout limiting beliefs, right
Right, or disempowering beliefsor being stuck.
And I don't know about you, butman, I've been stuck in things,
(04:04):
even in my business, and itfeels like I've hit a ceiling,
but I don't know why I can't gofurther and flushing it out, I
eventually go.
Or a coach or a mentor will say, debbie, that sounds like a
limiting belief.
Because I might say somethingI'll just say for business it
was like, well, I can't raise myprices, people aren't paying
(04:26):
what, what you know, I wascharging at that time she goes
to me that sounds like alimiting belief.
And until she said those words,I didn't realize I'd actually
made that agreement with myselfthat I'm I'm only worth this
much, therefore my program'sonly worth this much.
So I didn't realize that it wasa limiting belief or an
(04:48):
agreement.
So it's just huge and I justwanted to acknowledge it before
we put too many.
Put it all to you know, allthree of them together, and just
take a moment and recognize howmany beliefs do we have, how
many agreements have we madethat we may not even be aware of
(05:09):
Right.
Deborah (05:10):
And I always say I tell my clients, you know, when I'm
coaching them on self-care andself-wellness, that the first
step in every, every journey ishaving that awareness and every,
every journey is having thatawareness.
And I can even remember anawareness or a limiting belief
(05:31):
that I had that I was notlovable, that I was damaged
goods, I'd been raped, I'd been,you know, and so I'm damaged
goods, I don't deserve to havethe relationship that I want.
Bringing that awareness tomyself helped me to change that
(05:52):
belief or not be tied down orrestricted to that belief, to
allow me to have thoserelationships that I wanted.
Debbie (06:01):
That's so cool.
You know, Yep, that is so cool.
Deborah (06:07):
So the next thing oh, go ahead.
Do you have to?
No, Well.
Debbie (06:10):
I was going to say something.
Oh, awarenesses.
I'm going to just throw in areal quick neurosciency thing.
It's in our heads almost likean automatic behavior, the
beliefs, the agreements, so muchso that we don't recognize them
, but when we, either throughsomeone sharing something, or
(06:31):
once we finally see it, howeverthat is, it has come from the
subconscious or the unconsciousinto the conscious mind.
That's the awareness.
Because until it comes to theconscious mind, it controls us
exactly.
So once we can get it out and Idon't know like we get it out,
(06:52):
I'm saying like you're gonna digout a pearl out of an oyster or
something, but until somehow itcomes to our awareness, then,
or our conscious mind, it's, itruns the show, and then we can
start running the show once weknow.
Okay, that's what I wanted tosay.
Deborah (07:10):
I love that and I love that optic because I do believe
the pearl out of the oyster.
We are bringing that pearl ofwisdom and awareness that we
have.
We have that wisdom about ourown beliefs, our own restrictive
agreements, and then we digthat pearl out and that's the
(07:33):
beauty, that's where we have thevalue in moving forward.
Debbie (07:38):
That was a really great analogy about that oyster and
pearl and I didn't even mean itthat way.
Way, but it worked perfectly.
Thank you for that.
Deborah (07:46):
Exactly, okay, all right so the next one is the
mastery of transformation, andwhat this is, what this step is
in, according to Ruiz, is thatactively replacing these
limiting agreements withempowering ones.
You know the suggestion well.
(08:07):
The example that I gave of youknow me thinking I'm damaged
goods and I'm nobody's going tolove me.
When I decided that I am thebomb diggity and that I am
worthy of being loved, and thosethings in the past do not
affect my worthiness and myability to being loved, you know
(08:29):
what I attracted love.
I started seeing myself as notonly worthy, but the bomb
diggity.
Debbie (08:38):
I love the bomb diggity.
That's hysterical.
What I what?
I love just the term you arethe bum diggity, baby, the, the,
the replacing limitingagreements with empowering ones.
I I love that so much and I Ithink it's because we hear a lot
(09:02):
about positive affirmations.
There's nothing wrong withpositive affirmations and if
they work for you, that's great.
I found that I needed to reallyresonate with the words I was
speaking in order for me tobelieve the words that were
coming out of my mouth.
That were coming out of mymouth.
For example, I meditated for ayear every day, and I mean every
(09:28):
day was like a, I was part of athing and we meditated, but
separately every day.
For me it was money flowseasily to me.
That was my meditation and Iwould think about that.
I was supposed to, like youknow, dream about the money
flowing into my bank account andeverything.
And I did, I pictured it andall that.
A year later, nothing.
(09:52):
But I also didn't believe what Iwas hearing myself say, the
words I was using the visuals Iwas seeing I was still under the
spell, the agreement that Iwasn't worth that money coming
in.
So, like you're talking aboutchanging that belief that you're
(10:15):
the bomb diggity, like.
I love that because yougenuinely believed it and you
got it.
You got an incredible partnerin your life, right, and so I.
I don't want to say anythingbad about positive affirmations,
but I want to add to it bysaying you must truly believe
(10:37):
positive them for them to becomeempowering.
So, yeah, go ahead.
Deborah (10:43):
I believe that is absolutely true and because
otherwise it's just an empty.
It's just empty words withoutany of the energy of intent and
love and and and and just theauthenticity behind it, right?
So it's not really you knowwhat's the word that I want to
(11:06):
say it's not really resonatingfor you when you're saying those
affirmations, it's not reallytruly resonating and that energy
isn't actually going out tomanifest what you want, because
it's just not there.
True?
Debbie (11:26):
I really felt it like for a year.
I thought I was convincingmyself, but no, it was not
happening.
But it's okay.
It was an incredible lesson tolearn right.
Exactly a little painful, butalso an incredible lesson.
Deborah (11:40):
Yeah, all right.
So the third one is the masteryof intent.
So harnessing the power of loveand aligning our will with our
true desires, and that's whatwe're talking about, right?
I mean, that's exactly whatwe're talking about, because we
need to really be very clear ofwhat we really, really, really
(12:04):
want.
You know, it just reminds me ofI'm going to the ice cream
station and standing there andlooking at all the flavors and
saying just give me some icecream, you know, and I'm not
telling them the flavor, whetherI want soft, whether I want,
and you're going to get whateverthey pick out.
(12:24):
You're not going to evennecessarily get what you want.
If I'm going for pistachio, Ineed to ask for pistachio.
If I ask for pistachio, I needto know that I love pistachio,
right?
So really focusing in on thelove and aligning with what our
true desire is and being veryclear about that.
Debbie (12:50):
I have something.
A client that I had said shewas very frustrated with her
husband because she wanted himlike to compliment her.
And she actually said saysomething nice to me or say
something you like about me Iforget the words that she used
(13:10):
and he said something positiveabout the way she looked and she
goes that's not what I mean.
And she told me and I was, yeah, like well, what did you mean?
She's like I don't know.
And I said, oh, that'sinteresting.
How, if you?
(13:33):
I don't remember exactly how Isaid it, but basically it's like
, if we don't know what we want,how do we expect other people
to know for us?
How do we expect other peopleto know for us?
We are living our lives.
We're living in our head, we'reexperiencing everything that we
go through.
I know it sounds a littleredundant and strange, but the
other person is not in our dailylife living everything.
(13:56):
So if we don't know what wewant that's the mastery of
intent, aligning with our will,with our true desires If we
don't know what our desires aretruly, how can we expect other
people to know what they are?
So I just, I was just, I wasblown away, like just thinking,
because I think I've done thatmyself in, you know marriage
(14:19):
going.
You know I want ice cream,right, and my husband comes back
with almond mint and I'm like Iwanted pistachio and we're like
how we love me.
You would know that's theperfect answer.
If you love me, you should knowWow, where did that come from?
(14:42):
Yeah, yeah, I bet you.
There's a lot, a lot of stuffgoing on.
So is that?
I'm just asking is that anagreement we make with ourselves
that other people should knowwhat I want?
Do you think?
Deborah (14:57):
It is a belief, and it is a limiting belief.
Okay, that's the way that I seeit.
And when we're talking aboutthese three masteries, ruiz is
suggesting that by practicingthese masteries, we can
dismantle the internal judge andvictim, therefore restoring our
(15:24):
innate freedom and joy.
So, in that, that um, that umexample that you gave, right
then you were the judge and youwere the victim.
You know and so, or he was thejudge and he was the victim.
So by being very clear aboutthese things, you eliminate that
relationship and you both showup as whole and complete
(15:48):
individuals.
At least you do.
That's the only thing that wehave control over.
Debbie (15:53):
Exactly Okay, cool, all right.
Deborah (15:57):
So let's move into chapter seven.
And this is the dream, this iswhat Ruiz calls heaven on earth,
and so, in this chapter, heencourages us to envision a life
free from fear and thoselimiting beliefs and judgments
(16:17):
and self-imposed limitations,and create your personal heaven
on earth.
Right Because oh, that soundsfluffy, doesn't it sound fluffy
Because?
But it can be done.
Right, because in our situation, our earth that we're living in
(16:37):
right now, there's no heaven,you know.
So I love the idea of creatingmy own, and he asserts that by
adopting the four agreements andbreaking these old patterns, we
can create a new reality that'sfilled with love, happiness and
fulfillment.
But I think, you know, in myview, we create this by leading
(17:01):
with love, by being love, and Iknow that sounds woo-woo too,
but I truly believe that's theway forward.
Debbie (17:10):
Well, I can't disagree with that.
I think that we really cannotlove another anymore.
How do I say this?
We can only love others to thedegree that we can love
ourselves, and it's like, if Ican, does that make sense to you
(17:30):
?
first of all, Um yes and no,okay, why don't we talk about
that?
After you talk about this?
I wanted to ask you this aboutthe heaven on earth thing Would
you say that heaven on earth isakin to emotional freedom?
Yes, you talked about, okay,being free from, like fear and
(17:51):
the self-imposed limitations.
Although we didn't know, weself-imposed them.
That always gets me veryfrustrated, like I didn't do
that.
Oh, yes, you did, but we didand we just didn't realize it,
and I think that we talked aboutthis earlier.
We did do it, but because wewere trying to protect ourselves
(18:12):
, we made agreements because thealternative to that was maybe
more painful, and then thatstuck, and so that's why it's
quote unquote self-imposed, okay, so, okay, I can see heaven on
earth, if I can look at it asgetting emotional freedom,
because I know I have done that.
(18:33):
So you want to share thetransformative process so that
everybody else knows what we'retalking about?
Deborah (18:39):
Okay, so, again, he said that we can create um new
reality filled with love andhappiness and fulfillment and
these transformational process.
The way that we get there fromhere is by imagination, choice
and love.
So imagination first.
(19:00):
What does he mean by that?
Visualizing a life where weexpress ourselves freely,
authentically and, I will add,with love.
Right, so I?
One of the intentions that Istate in my meditations is that
(19:24):
I want to live a conscious lifewith a level of lightness of
being so these limiting huh.
Debbie (19:33):
Would you call that self-love?
Deborah (19:49):
No, yes, I would say, maybe no, I would say that when,
with the lightness of beingmeans I'm not carrying around
all those limiting beliefs, Ican't.
I'm not carrying around all ofthose restrictions, so I can
live in my own.
Debbie (19:59):
How is that?
How is that not self-love?
That sounds totally.
It's like I love myself enoughto not carry this around.
That's how I hear it.
Well, no, that's true oh, I'mjust.
Deborah (20:14):
I think what I'm saying is it's not just self-love, ah,
gotcha, okay, I think it's alot of things.
Yeah, you love yourself to beenough.
You love yourself to beauthentic.
You love yourself yourself tobe authentic.
You love yourself enough towant to free yourself from these
things that allow you to walkthe earth with the lightness of
being.
I'm not saying that you'rerunning around with unicorns and
(20:37):
flowers in your life every day.
That's just not the way itworks.
But you're able to have thatlightness that allows you to
experience and express yourselffreely and completely without
those restrictions.
So just imagining how thatlooks without having those
(21:01):
restrictions is really cool,yeah.
Debbie (21:04):
I think we have to be authentic and have a love for
ourselves in order to be able todo that, because so much of the
time, so many of us spendlooking for that external
validation and not being willingto be ourselves because, uh-,
(21:25):
what will quote?
They think, whoever they is, Ican't be myself.
Yeah, okay, keep going.
Deborah (21:33):
And that runs right into the second one on Andy.
Debbie, you named it right.
So we make a choice.
We make a choice that we're notgoing to live that way, we're
not going to live inhibited bythose restrictions and
irrespective of what is going onin externally, right?
(21:54):
So we are going to make thechoice that we're going to live
in a state of bliss, a lightnessof being and again, not
unicorns and whatever, but achoice that we are going to live
our best lives and, um, notshackled by those, um, what is
(22:15):
it what I'm thinking?
Restrictions, limitations,self-imposed limitations, you
know all of those thingsjudgment, fear.
I'm not going to stay in fear.
I may experience fear.
I'm not going to say that I'mnot going to experience fear,
but I'm not going to stay infear.
I may experience fear.
I'm not going to say that I'mnot going to experience fear,
but what I'm not going to do isstay there.
Debbie (22:34):
Exactly, I get you.
I get you Like I know what youmean by that and how and
learning a process that worksfor you.
Where, when that fear does comeup, how do you move beyond it?
What does it?
What do we as individuals do sothat when that fear shows up,
we can move through it?
I'll say, as quickly aspossible but reasonable, that we
(22:56):
can get to that other side,that does become that peaceful
space, right?
I mean, he calls heaven onearth.
That sounds like unicorns andflowers to me.
It does I.
I prefer to.
For me, what feels better is tocall it like emotional freedom,
inner peace, joy, happiness.
(23:18):
Those phrases feel better tomove through that fear and get
to the other side.
Deborah (23:23):
So I totally agree with that.
And not only that, but get tothe other side by.
So I totally agree with that.
And not only that, but get tothe other side by embracing love
as a force that transformseverything self-love, self-care,
love for other humans, love forhumanity, not othering and by
releasing yourself from thoserestrictions.
(23:45):
Oh my gosh, you know you'rerunning around with the
lightness of being because thosethings are not tearing you down
, right?
So I don't.
I know that Ruiz calls this thenew dream, and it's attainable
for anyone wanting to challengetheir existing beliefs and
embrace a life that is alignedwith their true selves right, so
(24:10):
right.
Debbie (24:11):
So we're getting to the, the close, but before we end,
kind of just wrap that up andput it, put a little bow on it
for us.
Deborah (24:19):
No, you're not the boss of me.
You put the bow on it I canwrap it up.
Debbie (24:27):
Do you want me to?
No, I mean yeah, oh well, I'llstart.
Join me, however you want to.
I think that the fouragreements are hugely powerful.
Powerful If a person hasdiscomforts, whether it's fear,
(24:53):
overwhelm, overthinking, worry,anxiety, if they get quickly
negatively charged, if somebodysays something that they feel
like that person's challengingtheir core values, or maybe
(25:14):
there's a need that's notgetting met consistently from
maybe the child, your child inyour life, or a spouse or a
parent.
These four agreements canliterally bring you more peace
in your heart than I'll saypretty much, because you know
everybody's got their way ofhandling things.
(25:35):
But these four agreements canbring more peace inside your
heart, inside your life, in yourmind, than anything I've ever
experienced before.
Now I believe there's otherprocesses, but basically it's
the same four agreements.
Right right, how to right,learning how to, whatever that
(25:58):
how to is for you, so that youcan move from the pain to the
pleasure, or from the zero tothe hero in your own life, or
zero to shero, from zero toshero.
You know, seriously, it isabout learning the how-to right
(26:19):
and uh, yeah, that's what we'reall about is is hopefully
bringing those tidbits, those,those life hacks, those you know
tips and tricks that can helppeople do that thing Right.
Is there something else youwanted to share?
Deborah (26:33):
No, I think that you, that you actually encapsulated
it perfectly.
The one thing that I I amreally focusing on myself is
that one where he's talkingabout love.
Embracing love is a fundamentalforce.
I say to myself I am love, I amloving and I am loved.
(27:02):
So that's all it is.
It's just being loving yourself, like you said, enough to allow
yourself to live in love and toexperience love and to have a
great lightness of being life.
Debbie (27:18):
Thank you, deborah, that was really beautiful.
I love that.
I know that I do.
I am challenged, I do.
I am challenged like, insteadof loving, I will turn away or
something.
I mean not all the time,obviously, but there's, there's
things that go on where it'slike I don't want to deal with
that and we don't have to dealwith everything and everybody
you know, you know, but, um, Iwould.
(27:41):
I think that, following the fouragreements and what you said,
like I do see way more lightfrom you.
I've experienced you showingthat when, even when you're like
something was upsetting and andbothered you and and it, you
just took this moment and I Iliterally watched you transform
(28:05):
and show the other person love.
Even though the initially wentagainst I don't know a value or
whatever and it stopped you inyour tracks, you were able to
just bring up love so quicklyand show to the other person and
I just really respect that.
So, yeah, I look forward to oneday when I can do that.
Deborah (28:28):
We don't know when that's going to happen.
You do it all the time.
I'm going to just tell you.
Debbie (28:32):
Okay, so I'm going to tell our audience.
Thank you so much for all ofthe loves, the likes and the
comments we get.
Deborah (28:41):
We appreciate you more than you know, and as always, we
invite you to love and care forthe Shero in you.
Bye, bye.
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