August 7, 2025 • 16 mins
Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!
Freedom is what we all desire—freedom to live life on our terms, make our own decisions, and escape financial constraints. But what happens when mindset work alone isn't cutting it? When we keep cycling through the same emotional patterns despite our best efforts?
The missing piece in our personal growth journey lies in what I call the "Self-Trust Sequence." While most of us excel at awareness (recognizing our triggers) and attempt activation (calming techniques like meditation or therapy), we rarely reach the crucial third stage: alignment. This is where true transformation happens.
Alignment isn't about managing emotions—it's about understanding them. When you become intimately familiar with your needs, beliefs, and values, you develop a profound inner clarity that doesn't require external validation. You learn specific skills to navigate your emotional landscape just as effectively as you navigate the physical world. The result? You stop operating from your triggers and start living from your truth.
The emotional world exists between the physical and spiritual realms, yet it's the dimension we most often skip. By developing self-trust skills, you can identify exactly what's tripping you up in challenging moments and move through blocks with increasing speed and ease. With practice, this process becomes almost instantaneous, allowing you to experience what freedom really means—emotional liberation.
Ready to break free from recurring emotional patterns? Learn the skills that transform awareness into alignment and discover how to trust yourself when it matters most. This is the path to becoming "more awesome on the inside"—where true freedom begins.
Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.
#womenempoweringwomen
#youmatter
#makeadifference
---CONNECT with Shero Cafe---
Subscribe: www.SheroCafe.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shero.cafe.podcast/
Email: thesherocafe@gmail.com
---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/
---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/
Email: deb@debbiepearson.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
so what is it that everybody wants?
Freedom, right.
Freedom to be able to live yourlife the way you want to,
whether it's your job or yourpersonal life.
Freedom to be able to make yourown decisions.
I mean freedom about everything, financially, everything.
It's so challenging becausewe've got a whole lot of stuff
(00:24):
in this part of our brain, theunconscious part of our brain,
so we look for ways to sidestepit, to get around it, to
understand life differently.
So a lot of us will do mindsetwork.
We look for things like how doI shift and change?
It's like how do I shift andchange Sorry, I got something
(00:45):
going on over here how do Ishift and change my belief from
what it is to something else?
How do I feel different?
Like if I've got no money in mybank account and three bills
come in the mail and it's likehow am I going to pay this and
eat?
Or how am I going to even makeit to the end of the month?
There's trauma involved theregoing to even make it to the end
(01:06):
of the month.
There's trauma involved there.
A lot of it's because of whatwe were taught growing up, but
now we're not at home anymore,so how do we go around that?
You know a lot of people domindset work, like I said.
But mindset work isn't enough.
There's more to it than that.
Through my studies, which hasprobably been over 40 years, um,
(01:28):
I have come up with likethere's four stages and of
course there's a bunch of stepsin each stage, each stage, but
there's four stages in somethingI call the self-trust um
sequence.
Stage one, which I'm sureyou've you're good at, is
awareness.
It's like awareness is alwaysstep one.
It's like, oh my gosh,something I didn't see before.
(01:50):
Now I see it like that'samazing to be able to like all
of a sudden, like how old was Iwhen I finally realized I don't
have to do what that person toldme I needed to do?
Right?
So so big awareness.
The second step is activation.
So a lot of people will go whatdo I do with this information?
So we'll maybe do the typicalthings meditation, journal,
(02:17):
reiki, eft, tapping, maybe doOracle cards or something,
something where we feel like Iwant to have a little control
over this awareness and so I'mmoving to that next step or
phase.
I'm activating something in mylife so I can shift and change,
and a lot of times we getbreakthroughs and ahas, and
(02:37):
we're excited about that.
And then something happens andthat thing, that thing comes
around again.
So maybe we're tapping orbreathing or meditating and we
feel like, oh gosh, I feel socalm now I've overcome that
thing.
And then again life passes andit shows up again and we're like
I keep coming back to the samething and I go into my
(03:03):
activation stage, I calm and Ifeel much better, and then time
passes and it shows up again.
What do we do now?
What is that?
That's going on.
So a lot of times people feellike I feel like something's off
, something's missing something,there's something more.
And it's true, there issomething more.
And it's like and it's true,there is something more, and
it's like we have not moved tothe next stage.
(03:26):
So the third stage of theself-trust sequence is alignment
.
So just calming down is awesome.
We need that.
Do what works for you andeverybody's different.
So do what works for you.
(03:49):
But the next phase or stage isalignment.
How do I align myself to thatcalm?
What is it about the calm thatfeels right?
Well, the reason it feels rightis because something inside of
you, you got your needs met, theneed for feeling safe, or it
could be many different things.
There's a lot of universalneeds, so I don't want to go
through them all, but I havesheets of paper and lists.
(04:17):
If you need something, let meknow what's actually going on
with me.
I need to understand what'sgoing on that I shift into this
triggered state.
What is that about?
So we pursue, we go further, wemaybe take some courses, but we
(04:37):
don't assimilate it into ourlives, maybe a little, and then
we feel like, okay, I got this,and then we stop, but then it
shows up again and we may havegone a long enough time that
we've kind of forgotten thatthing and we just go back to the
activation, where we calm down.
Oh, I feel so much better.
So I want to talk a little bitmore about why we're between
(05:01):
these two states of awarenessand activation, and then
alignment, and then the fourthstage, which is actualization.
Actualization means you'vealigned yourself to such a point
and practiced it.
That's the key component.
You've practiced it enough thatwhen there is something that
(05:21):
comes up that's triggering you,you're so clear that you don't
really need to go back and calmdown.
It's like you don't even get arise.
So I like to say you're nolonger operating from your
triggers but from your truth.
All right, so we live in aphysical world and we're
intimately familiar with thisphysical world.
(05:44):
And we're intimately familiarwith this physical world, we
know how to do things.
And if we don't know, we knowwhere to go to find out.
Between searching in Google andchat AI I'll say AI, we know
how to go, excuse me, find ananswer.
So we got the physical worldfigured out, but then there's
that missing something.
A lot of us, because there's alot of it on the internet, we
(06:06):
jump over to the spiritual worldand that's a lot of the mindset
and maybe the Reiki or and I'mnot picking on Reiki Reiki is
awesome.
If it works for you, it'sawesome, but it's the something
else, but it's not grounded perse.
It's like you got to go backagain and again and again and
(06:27):
sometimes the situation remediesitself and it could be sound
healing, it could be breathingor anything.
Sometimes your situationremedies itself, you have
another awareness and then boop,it's, it is done after that.
But then there's other timeswhere it doesn't, and so you're
repeating and going back to yourtherapist that you know, the
reiki master you.
So you're repeating and goingback to your therapist, that you
know, the Reiki master, youknow you're getting other people
(06:48):
possibly involved.
So the spiritual world is kindof like the third step.
So there's the physical world,step one.
There's a step two that most ofus just never, ever, ever look
at, and then there's step three,the physical world.
So the step two is theemotional world, and we all know
(07:09):
we have emotions.
But I hear people online likegurus or whatever, talking and
they say things like I hearpeople online like gurus or
whatever, talking and they saythings like you got to manage
your emotions, you've got toregulate your emotions.
And I don't know about you, butthat sounds horrible to me.
I don't want to manage myemotions, I don't want to
(07:29):
regulate my emotions.
I want to understand why am Ihaving this emotion?
Why does it keep coming up?
Why can't I stop that?
And I came to realize like Iwanted that question answered
for myself, and so I finallystepped out to answer why is
that?
And I began to learn that wehave to have certain skills.
(07:50):
It's just like learning to ridethe bike and the whole cooking
or whatever.
Those are skills.
Our lives are built on skills.
Just think about almostanything you do, there's some
skill that you learned that'sinvolved from your daily life to
what you do at work, to how yousearch for things.
It's all skills, skills based,and you are really good at it.
(08:13):
You're good at that becausethat part's of the physical
world, so we're intimatelyfamiliar with how to create
skills or how to apply ourskills.
But when it comes to theemotional world, why am I
feeling that?
What's going on with me?
Why do I get so triggered whenX happens?
Why doesn't so-and-so do thisother thing?
(08:34):
Because if they did, I wouldfeel so much better.
Like, over and over and overagain.
It's almost as if we're tryingto get the rest of the world to
try to change so that we don'thave a feeling of discomfort.
Okay, so the not good, thebetter news about that is when
you learn enough about yourselfand you learn those skills that
(08:57):
I'm talking about, you don'tneed other people to validate
you, and that's so much ofwhat's going on.
We feel disconnected, we feellike we don't belong and because
of that we feel like we needother people to validate us, to
kind of let us know we're goingin the right path, validate us,
(09:18):
to kind of let us know we'regoing in the right path.
I say when you learn enoughabout yourself, when you're
clear and I'm talking aboutspecific things your needs, your
beliefs, your values, what'sdriving how you see the world,
what your life feels like whenyour needs are met, when they
aren't met, when you are clearfor yourself not what I think,
(09:39):
what you think, this is aboutwhat you think when you're clear
about what's going on inside ofyou, there's a calmness that
comes that you don't need to gooutside of yourself, you don't
need to go to the therapist.
And I'm not saying stop going,I'm saying there just comes a
point where you're like I feellike this other person has given
(10:00):
me everything they can and Ican't really learn anymore from
this person.
You may go to, like I said,reiki or meditation or
reflective journaling orwhatever, and you go.
I've gotten well, I don't knowabout reflective journaling
because that's pretty awesome,but it's like some of these
other things.
It's like you may say I don'tneed that thing anymore.
And I'm not putting anythingdown.
(10:22):
I'm not asking you to stopanything.
You have to do what feels rightfor you and that's what this is
all about.
That's where freedom comes in.
That's how we becomeemotionally regulated.
Still wish there was anotherword for that.
Oh gosh, become emotionallyregulated.
Still wish there was anotherword for that.
Oh gosh, in touch with ouremotions.
Like when I have a reaction tosomething, I know almost
(10:44):
immediately what it is becauseI've been doing this work.
So there are certain thingsthat would trigger me to the
point of anger before, like howdare they do this?
But now it's like oh, there,that is again.
That thing showed up again.
I can't believe it showed upagain.
Thought I was done with that.
But no, there it is again.
Don't get angry anymore aboutit.
It's like I get it and I knowthat the thing that triggered me
(11:08):
is from old programming, my oldstories.
It's my old life, not the lifeI want to live.
And the life that I want tolive is a life of emotional
freedom.
So when we say freedom, I thinkwe all want physical freedom.
Nobody wants to be in a cagebut what we really mean is
(11:29):
emotional freedom, and thatincludes financial.
It's like am I in touch withthat, right?
Am I emotionally in touch withthat?
Okay, that's a whole nothervideo we might talk about
another time.
So let me talk about thealignment part.
Again, there's four stages.
So the first one is awareness.
(11:50):
Oh, okay, I get it, I see thatI'm aware of it.
Then there's activation, andactivation is I'm going to
employ that thing, meditating,journaling, going to see
somebody to help me out, goingto see somebody to help me out.
The next one's alignment.
Alignment's the tricky one.
Okay, alignment is the one thatmost of us don't have, and
(12:14):
there's certain skills that weneed in order to become aligned
with who we are.
So I'll talk about self-trustand confidence and then we'll
wrap this up.
But I want to say the fourthone is actualization Okay,
self-trust, confidence.
One is actualization Okay,self-trust, confidence.
More than likely, you've gotthem.
Okay, if you're watching thisvideo, you're looking for
something.
You're looking for something.
(12:35):
Something's missing, there'ssomething else, there's
something off.
What is it?
For me, it was the mostdifficult thing to articulate.
I finally understood what wasgoing on.
When I have I'm very, I'm prettyconfident person like I've, I
will go places by myself, talklike go walk the 500 mile path
(12:58):
called El Camino de Santiago.
I went by myself.
There's lots of other peoplethere, but I chose not to go as
a group or with a tour group orwhatever.
I just booked my flight and Iwent.
When I wanted to change jobs, Imoved hundreds of miles away
where I didn't know anybody.
Like I got confidence.
My problem was I would come upagainst a situation and I wasn't
(13:21):
sure what to do.
And so, even though I feel likeI can trust myself to figure
the answers out and I have thatconfidence there are times when
I could not.
Well, what do you do in thosemoments?
Right?
So the skills that I teach areall about?
(13:42):
You may still have to ask thatquestion what do I do right now?
But there's a process to gothrough, the self-trust process.
You go through this process andthere's like these questions
and you can, as you get betterat them, you go through them a
lot quicker and you get to likethe fourth one or the fifth one,
like that's where your littletrip up is and you're like, oh,
(14:02):
what is it right there?
That's stopping me.
When you can do that, there'sso much more calm in your life
because you've got something youcan use again and again, and
you've got something that youcan use as you evolve, and
that's critical.
I don't do the same things Iused to do a long time ago.
(14:24):
What worked for me before, itjust doesn't work for me now.
However, this ever-evolvingself-trust formula.
No matter what's going on withyou, you can ask these same
questions and that goes into theparts of you that you've become
more and more intimatelyfamiliar with and then they make
(14:45):
sense.
So no longer, if somebody sayssomething, do I like kind of
panic, like oh my God, I don'tknow what to say, or what will
they think of me if, blah, blah.
It's like slowly but surely,that went away and I would
imagine it's going to come backat some point.
You know like, yeah, it did.
Actually, I was in the hospitalemergency room a couple of weeks
(15:09):
ago and the emergency roomdoctor came in and he sat down,
he's talking to me and then hesays so what do you do?
And it was like I froze up,like he's not my people.
So I was for a moment liketerrified to tell him, because I
went like a million thoughtswent through my head.
But I applied and I was like,oh, okay, I can see, I see him
(15:33):
as an authority.
I feel fear.
What I need is to let myselfknow I'm okay.
And then I just answered him.
So it was like boom, boom, boom, and I was able to go through
that in like nanoseconds.
That's freedom.
That is freedom, but it isemotional freedom.
Okay, so the the bottom line.
(15:55):
The last thing I want to tellyou is basically, alignment is
the stage of the self-trustsequence, where you get to learn
what to do when it matters most, how to handle that when it
matters most.
Okay, that's it for today.
I know this is a little long,but I'm so happy that you stuck
(16:17):
with me through the whole thing.
I'm Debbie Pearson, helping youbecome more awesome on the
inside.
so what is it that everybody wants?
Freedom, right.
Freedom to be able to live yourlife the way you want to,
whether it's your job or yourpersonal life.
Freedom to be able to make yourown decisions.
I mean freedom about everything, financially, everything.
It's so challenging becausewe've got a whole lot of stuff
(00:24):
in this part of our brain, theunconscious part of our brain,
so we look for ways to sidestepit, to get around it, to
understand life differently.
So a lot of us will do mindsetwork.
We look for things like how doI shift and change?
It's like how do I shift andchange Sorry, I got something
(00:45):
going on over here how do Ishift and change my belief from
what it is to something else?
How do I feel different?
Like if I've got no money in mybank account and three bills
come in the mail and it's likehow am I going to pay this and
eat?
Or how am I going to even makeit to the end of the month?
There's trauma involved theregoing to even make it to the end
(01:06):
of the month.
There's trauma involved there.
A lot of it's because of whatwe were taught growing up, but
now we're not at home anymore,so how do we go around that?
You know a lot of people domindset work, like I said.
But mindset work isn't enough.
There's more to it than that.
Through my studies, which hasprobably been over 40 years, um,
(01:28):
I have come up with likethere's four stages and of
course there's a bunch of stepsin each stage, each stage, but
there's four stages in somethingI call the self-trust um
sequence.
Stage one, which I'm sureyou've you're good at, is
awareness.
It's like awareness is alwaysstep one.
It's like, oh my gosh,something I didn't see before.
(01:50):
Now I see it like that'samazing to be able to like all
of a sudden, like how old was Iwhen I finally realized I don't
have to do what that person toldme I needed to do?
Right?
So so big awareness.
The second step is activation.
So a lot of people will go whatdo I do with this information?
So we'll maybe do the typicalthings meditation, journal,
(02:17):
reiki, eft, tapping, maybe doOracle cards or something,
something where we feel like Iwant to have a little control
over this awareness and so I'mmoving to that next step or
phase.
I'm activating something in mylife so I can shift and change,
and a lot of times we getbreakthroughs and ahas, and
(02:37):
we're excited about that.
And then something happens andthat thing, that thing comes
around again.
So maybe we're tapping orbreathing or meditating and we
feel like, oh gosh, I feel socalm now I've overcome that
thing.
And then again life passes andit shows up again and we're like
I keep coming back to the samething and I go into my
(03:03):
activation stage, I calm and Ifeel much better, and then time
passes and it shows up again.
What do we do now?
What is that?
That's going on.
So a lot of times people feellike I feel like something's off
, something's missing something,there's something more.
And it's true, there issomething more.
And it's like and it's true,there is something more, and
it's like we have not moved tothe next stage.
(03:26):
So the third stage of theself-trust sequence is alignment
.
So just calming down is awesome.
We need that.
Do what works for you andeverybody's different.
So do what works for you.
(03:49):
But the next phase or stage isalignment.
How do I align myself to thatcalm?
What is it about the calm thatfeels right?
Well, the reason it feels rightis because something inside of
you, you got your needs met, theneed for feeling safe, or it
could be many different things.
There's a lot of universalneeds, so I don't want to go
through them all, but I havesheets of paper and lists.
(04:17):
If you need something, let meknow what's actually going on
with me.
I need to understand what'sgoing on that I shift into this
triggered state.
What is that about?
So we pursue, we go further, wemaybe take some courses, but we
(04:37):
don't assimilate it into ourlives, maybe a little, and then
we feel like, okay, I got this,and then we stop, but then it
shows up again and we may havegone a long enough time that
we've kind of forgotten thatthing and we just go back to the
activation, where we calm down.
Oh, I feel so much better.
So I want to talk a little bitmore about why we're between
(05:01):
these two states of awarenessand activation, and then
alignment, and then the fourthstage, which is actualization.
Actualization means you'vealigned yourself to such a point
and practiced it.
That's the key component.
You've practiced it enough thatwhen there is something that
(05:21):
comes up that's triggering you,you're so clear that you don't
really need to go back and calmdown.
It's like you don't even get arise.
So I like to say you're nolonger operating from your
triggers but from your truth.
All right, so we live in aphysical world and we're
intimately familiar with thisphysical world.
(05:44):
And we're intimately familiarwith this physical world, we
know how to do things.
And if we don't know, we knowwhere to go to find out.
Between searching in Google andchat AI I'll say AI, we know
how to go, excuse me, find ananswer.
So we got the physical worldfigured out, but then there's
that missing something.
A lot of us, because there's alot of it on the internet, we
(06:06):
jump over to the spiritual worldand that's a lot of the mindset
and maybe the Reiki or and I'mnot picking on Reiki Reiki is
awesome.
If it works for you, it'sawesome, but it's the something
else, but it's not grounded perse.
It's like you got to go backagain and again and again and
(06:27):
sometimes the situation remediesitself and it could be sound
healing, it could be breathingor anything.
Sometimes your situationremedies itself, you have
another awareness and then boop,it's, it is done after that.
But then there's other timeswhere it doesn't, and so you're
repeating and going back to yourtherapist that you know, the
reiki master you.
So you're repeating and goingback to your therapist, that you
know, the Reiki master, youknow you're getting other people
(06:48):
possibly involved.
So the spiritual world is kindof like the third step.
So there's the physical world,step one.
There's a step two that most ofus just never, ever, ever look
at, and then there's step three,the physical world.
So the step two is theemotional world, and we all know
(07:09):
we have emotions.
But I hear people online likegurus or whatever, talking and
they say things like I hearpeople online like gurus or
whatever, talking and they saythings like you got to manage
your emotions, you've got toregulate your emotions.
And I don't know about you, butthat sounds horrible to me.
I don't want to manage myemotions, I don't want to
(07:29):
regulate my emotions.
I want to understand why am Ihaving this emotion?
Why does it keep coming up?
Why can't I stop that?
And I came to realize like Iwanted that question answered
for myself, and so I finallystepped out to answer why is
that?
And I began to learn that wehave to have certain skills.
(07:50):
It's just like learning to ridethe bike and the whole cooking
or whatever.
Those are skills.
Our lives are built on skills.
Just think about almostanything you do, there's some
skill that you learned that'sinvolved from your daily life to
what you do at work, to how yousearch for things.
It's all skills, skills based,and you are really good at it.
(08:13):
You're good at that becausethat part's of the physical
world, so we're intimatelyfamiliar with how to create
skills or how to apply ourskills.
But when it comes to theemotional world, why am I
feeling that?
What's going on with me?
Why do I get so triggered whenX happens?
Why doesn't so-and-so do thisother thing?
(08:34):
Because if they did, I wouldfeel so much better.
Like, over and over and overagain.
It's almost as if we're tryingto get the rest of the world to
try to change so that we don'thave a feeling of discomfort.
Okay, so the not good, thebetter news about that is when
you learn enough about yourselfand you learn those skills that
(08:57):
I'm talking about, you don'tneed other people to validate
you, and that's so much ofwhat's going on.
We feel disconnected, we feellike we don't belong and because
of that we feel like we needother people to validate us, to
kind of let us know we're goingin the right path, validate us,
(09:18):
to kind of let us know we'regoing in the right path.
I say when you learn enoughabout yourself, when you're
clear and I'm talking aboutspecific things your needs, your
beliefs, your values, what'sdriving how you see the world,
what your life feels like whenyour needs are met, when they
aren't met, when you are clearfor yourself not what I think,
(09:39):
what you think, this is aboutwhat you think when you're clear
about what's going on inside ofyou, there's a calmness that
comes that you don't need to gooutside of yourself, you don't
need to go to the therapist.
And I'm not saying stop going,I'm saying there just comes a
point where you're like I feellike this other person has given
(10:00):
me everything they can and Ican't really learn anymore from
this person.
You may go to, like I said,reiki or meditation or
reflective journaling orwhatever, and you go.
I've gotten well, I don't knowabout reflective journaling
because that's pretty awesome,but it's like some of these
other things.
It's like you may say I don'tneed that thing anymore.
And I'm not putting anythingdown.
(10:22):
I'm not asking you to stopanything.
You have to do what feels rightfor you and that's what this is
all about.
That's where freedom comes in.
That's how we becomeemotionally regulated.
Still wish there was anotherword for that.
Oh gosh, become emotionallyregulated.
Still wish there was anotherword for that.
Oh gosh, in touch with ouremotions.
Like when I have a reaction tosomething, I know almost
(10:44):
immediately what it is becauseI've been doing this work.
So there are certain thingsthat would trigger me to the
point of anger before, like howdare they do this?
But now it's like oh, there,that is again.
That thing showed up again.
I can't believe it showed upagain.
Thought I was done with that.
But no, there it is again.
Don't get angry anymore aboutit.
It's like I get it and I knowthat the thing that triggered me
(11:08):
is from old programming, my oldstories.
It's my old life, not the lifeI want to live.
And the life that I want tolive is a life of emotional
freedom.
So when we say freedom, I thinkwe all want physical freedom.
Nobody wants to be in a cagebut what we really mean is
(11:29):
emotional freedom, and thatincludes financial.
It's like am I in touch withthat, right?
Am I emotionally in touch withthat?
Okay, that's a whole nothervideo we might talk about
another time.
So let me talk about thealignment part.
Again, there's four stages.
So the first one is awareness.
(11:50):
Oh, okay, I get it, I see thatI'm aware of it.
Then there's activation, andactivation is I'm going to
employ that thing, meditating,journaling, going to see
somebody to help me out, goingto see somebody to help me out.
The next one's alignment.
Alignment's the tricky one.
Okay, alignment is the one thatmost of us don't have, and
(12:14):
there's certain skills that weneed in order to become aligned
with who we are.
So I'll talk about self-trustand confidence and then we'll
wrap this up.
But I want to say the fourthone is actualization Okay,
self-trust, confidence.
One is actualization Okay,self-trust, confidence.
More than likely, you've gotthem.
Okay, if you're watching thisvideo, you're looking for
something.
You're looking for something.
(12:35):
Something's missing, there'ssomething else, there's
something off.
What is it?
For me, it was the mostdifficult thing to articulate.
I finally understood what wasgoing on.
When I have I'm very, I'm prettyconfident person like I've, I
will go places by myself, talklike go walk the 500 mile path
(12:58):
called El Camino de Santiago.
I went by myself.
There's lots of other peoplethere, but I chose not to go as
a group or with a tour group orwhatever.
I just booked my flight and Iwent.
When I wanted to change jobs, Imoved hundreds of miles away
where I didn't know anybody.
Like I got confidence.
My problem was I would come upagainst a situation and I wasn't
(13:21):
sure what to do.
And so, even though I feel likeI can trust myself to figure
the answers out and I have thatconfidence there are times when
I could not.
Well, what do you do in thosemoments?
Right?
So the skills that I teach areall about?
(13:42):
You may still have to ask thatquestion what do I do right now?
But there's a process to gothrough, the self-trust process.
You go through this process andthere's like these questions
and you can, as you get betterat them, you go through them a
lot quicker and you get to likethe fourth one or the fifth one,
like that's where your littletrip up is and you're like, oh,
(14:02):
what is it right there?
That's stopping me.
When you can do that, there'sso much more calm in your life
because you've got something youcan use again and again, and
you've got something that youcan use as you evolve, and
that's critical.
I don't do the same things Iused to do a long time ago.
(14:24):
What worked for me before, itjust doesn't work for me now.
However, this ever-evolvingself-trust formula.
No matter what's going on withyou, you can ask these same
questions and that goes into theparts of you that you've become
more and more intimatelyfamiliar with and then they make
(14:45):
sense.
So no longer, if somebody sayssomething, do I like kind of
panic, like oh my God, I don'tknow what to say, or what will
they think of me if, blah, blah.
It's like slowly but surely,that went away and I would
imagine it's going to come backat some point.
You know like, yeah, it did.
Actually, I was in the hospitalemergency room a couple of weeks
(15:09):
ago and the emergency roomdoctor came in and he sat down,
he's talking to me and then hesays so what do you do?
And it was like I froze up,like he's not my people.
So I was for a moment liketerrified to tell him, because I
went like a million thoughtswent through my head.
But I applied and I was like,oh, okay, I can see, I see him
(15:33):
as an authority.
I feel fear.
What I need is to let myselfknow I'm okay.
And then I just answered him.
So it was like boom, boom, boom, and I was able to go through
that in like nanoseconds.
That's freedom.
That is freedom, but it isemotional freedom.
Okay, so the the bottom line.
(15:55):
The last thing I want to tellyou is basically, alignment is
the stage of the self-trustsequence, where you get to learn
what to do when it matters most, how to handle that when it
matters most.
Okay, that's it for today.
I know this is a little long,but I'm so happy that you stuck
(16:17):
with me through the whole thing.
I'm Debbie Pearson, helping youbecome more awesome on the
inside.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.