June 19, 2024 • 52 mins
Hey there! We're diving into the wild world of traveling with kids and family vacations in this episode. As moms in different stages of life, we chat about the challenges of balancing everyone's needs and expectations when you've got little ones in tow.
We dish about those awkward moments when your family forgets you can't just drop everything for an all-day boat ride anymore, and how to navigate those tricky situations without losing your cool (or your mind!). We share our personal experiences of feeling torn between different family groups, trying to keep nap schedules intact, and the guilt of missing out on the fun stuff.
We also talk about how important it is to speak up about what you need on vacation, even if it feels weird. No one's a mind reader, right? We get into the nitty-gritty of planning trips with big groups, dealing with different ideas of what makes a "fun" vacation, and how to handle those inevitable bumps in the road.
So if you've ever felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation, or you're dreading that upcoming family trip, give this episode a listen. We promise you'll laugh, maybe cringe a little, and hopefully pick up some tips for making your next getaway a little smoother. Don't forget your sense of humor – you're gonna need it!
Hope you enjoyed this episode!
Remember we'll be back twice a month with more fun shananagins. Be sure to follow us so you don't miss a beat!
We'd sure appreciate a review too. This helps us reach more women just like you trying to make it through the sometimes chaotic, sometimes fun, and sometimes cry-worth days of motherhood.
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Here's to Getting it Together one day at a time,
Jessica & Samantha
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And sometimes that can be hard for your family
members to understand, and itcan be hard for you too, because
you feel like you're missingout on things.
So I think, at least for me,it's been a bit of a transition.
Our family's been verysupportive, but there's also
been moments, too, where theywant to do a certain thing and
(00:20):
you're putting your kids'priority first.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You can't.
Hi everyone and welcome to abrand new episode of she's Got
it Together.
I'm your host, jessica.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'm Samantha.
Each week we peel back thecurtain on what it really looks
like to have it together.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
From the messy moments to the milestones, we're
here to share it all.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive
into today's topic.
So we're going to dive intokids and traveling, whether it's
a weekend getaway or a coupleweek getaway or whatever you
want it to be.
(01:01):
But traveling with kids, whenyou and your family were used to
not having kids, can be reallyhard because your routines are
different, your priorities aredifferent and sometimes that can
be hard for your family membersto understand and it can be
hard for you too, because youfeel like you're missing out on
things.
So I think, at least for me,it's been a bit of a transition
(01:26):
like our family's been verysupportive, but there's also
been moments, too, where they,like want to do a certain thing,
and you're putting your kidspriority, first and right.
They forget that you just youcan't just like get up and go,
or you can't just go do thisthing at 1 pm when your kid's
supposed to be takinga nap.
So you're having to put yourkid's needs and like your
(01:49):
family's needs, like your littlenucleus of a family's needs
first before the extended familyand I think sometimes that gets
.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I mean that does get hard and it's hard for some
people to remember Everybody'sin different phases, yes,
everybody's in different phasesof their life, and when you put
together more than just yoursmall, you know your immediate
family your little family.
Yeah, like I mean when youstart getting the grandparents
and you know I mean even you andI with you know our kids are.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I mean with their age gap like nine, 10.
Yeah, Like nine, 10,.
Well, 13 years apart, Right,right, you know their needs are
different.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
They're very different and it's different
stages of life.
So you know, back 10 years agoI was where you are and now you
know our kids are grown, so thatwe can kind of get back into
the swing of most things.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You have a little bit more freedom of doing what you
want to do.
A lot of sass, right, but it'slike you don't have to worry
about nap times or certain mealtimes and bed times.
Those are the things In thebathroom potty training Remember
that's coming for you soonerthan later.
(03:03):
Yes, it is cleaning.
Remember, that's coming for you.
You know sooner than later.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So that'll be a whole another, you know dynamic to
add to this hard.
I mean it's not hard, it's justthis unique stage.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It's a phase of life that, yeah, that's great and
it's so rewarding and fun, butat the same time, it shows like
the little cracks of things,that of things that you can't do
or that people are forgetting.
It's not like you don't want todo it or you don't want to
bring your kid over or do thiscertain thing, but you have to
(03:38):
do your schedule or your routineand some people are more rigid
with their schedules and somepeople are more flexible.
Your schedule or your routine,and some people are more rigid
with their schedules and somepeople are more flexible.
But I'm not going to take, youknow, my kid over to your house
when it's like 30 minutes beforehis nap time and I know he's
going to be a disaster, likethat's just like.
yeah, it's like that's just notgoing to happen.
And so if there's like anexpectation or something in
(04:03):
their mind that they want to dothat day and you're not meeting
it, they can get like upsetabout it.
But you just have to put yourfamily first and your kids needs
first, and that doesn't alwayssit well.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, it's easy to forget the stage that someone
else is in, since you've longpassed it.
I mean going up north with ourfamily.
It was always hard for mebecause I had little kids.
You guys were just in your kindof early 20s, still having fun,
but adults.
And then of course, mom and dad.
(04:35):
They didn't have anyresponsibilities really outside
of themselves so they could dowhatever they wanted when they
wanted.
But you throw in my family withthat, then you've got.
You know, we had two littlegirls and then I mean having
bonfires like we did, we'd be,outside all day.
Well, that doesn't really workfor right, like in the winter
(04:56):
two-year-old, you know, or youknow, just going out
snowmobiling all day.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I mean not that we have done that in years, but I
mean that used to be a thing andit was something yeah, well,
and then just going out on theboat, like we would go out on
the boat like all day and havelike our food, drinks, like
music, like we'd be out on thelake all day.
But you can't do that with kidsand like we learned that this
summer with our kids it was thefirst summer that we had kids up
(05:23):
North and it was, you know,hard, for yeah, it was hard for
me too, because, like I wentwhen I was also breastfeeding Bo
, so like that took up a lot oftime.
And then, yeah, you feel likeyou're missing out, because we
would wake up, we'd like geteverything ready, we'd get out
on the boat, we'd stay out thereall day, go over to our
(05:43):
friends' houses on the lake andbe gone all day and maybe come
back for dinner.
Sometimes we didn't, we stayedover there and had dinner, or we
came back real quick and allate dinner together somewhere,
and then after dinner you'd havea bonfire and up really early
(06:05):
up north and then we're gettingthe kids breakfast and then
we're just like playing untiltheir first nap.
Okay, then you're sittingaround trying to figure out what
you can do, and then people are, like you know, our frame.
Yeah Well, and then, like forBrett and I, we have like our
family has a cottage, but thenBrett's family also has a
cottage.
It's on the other side of thelake, that's how we met, so like
(06:28):
his family's all over there,and then we were staying at like
our family's cottage.
So then it's like they want tosee us, but I'm over here and
then Beau's waking up.
He's got his morning, he takesa nap at 10.
So it didn't make sense to goover there.
The way like the mornings go,you know how mornings go, like
(06:48):
some are great, some are not,and then he's going to sleep.
And then you know they want tosee him, they want us to come
over like families over there.
And it's like but I can't,because he has to take a nap.
I can't just bring him over andthen have him be a disaster the
rest of the day because Imissed his nap by an hour,
because then that messes up hiswhole day.
It's like I'll bring him overafter he wakes up.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
It's like.
I promise I'm coming.
It's more than just the day too.
I mean I could ruin the night.
Honestly, you start off on thewrong foot.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Right.
So it's hard because you feeltorn, because, yes, of course
you want to be over there.
You course, like you want to beover there, you want to see
your friends, you want to seeyour family, but you also know
that your kid comes first andtheir needs come first and then,
like you said, people forgetthat or they don't think it's
that big of a deal if they misstheir nap, or they're just a
little late for a nap becauseit's been so long Right, or like
(07:38):
they just are not as likeworried about it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Their kids might be able to like kind of go with it
better.
Well, they might be moreflexible.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
The kids' lives, yeah , I mean structure is kind of
how all of ours work best, Right, and I feel like with Beau too,
it was like, yeah, he'd begreat then He'd maybe take like
an hour, hour and a half nap.
He's not a big long, longnapper.
I'm lucky if I could get anhour out of him and then we'd
get him ready.
But then that's the other thing.
Then you have to get him ready,get him sunscreened up, get
(08:09):
their bathing suit on, get theirlife jacket all the crap they
need.
I mean, yeah, so then you get onthe boat, or then you get in
your car and you go to the houseand you're exhausted most of
the time, right.
But then, literally, it's likethey wake up and they need lunch
.
So then you're like do I feedthem lunch and then go over?
Do I go over and feed themlunch there?
(08:29):
It's like a whole thing.
It's like you have this littlehuman that you have to take care
of, yes, and you can't just notdo it or ignore their needs to
make everybody happy.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
There is no moving it around very far so we would get
out on the boat.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
We'd be like, okay, guys, you better be ready when
I'm ready with this kid, becausewe are ready to go If you want
to get out in this boat todayfor an hour or two hours or
however much time we get ifwe're out there for 20 minutes.
Whatever it's like, you betterbe ready at the drop of a hat to
go on this boat.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
So a lot of the times like for you to run down right.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's like, just go sun yourself on the boat.
When I'm ready, I'll be runningout there like, start the boat,
let's go.
But it's like then, once youget out there, it's fun, it's
great.
But then he'd have to eat.
So I'm like, okay, let me justsit on the boat and I'm going to
feed you.
Or then they're fussy becausethey're not used to being in a
life jacket or on the boat andthey can't play.
(09:36):
Well, at this point Bo couldn'teven walk or really crawl very
much.
At that point this summer he'llbe all over the place.
It'll be a little bit place,it'll be a little bit easier.
He'll be down to one nap.
So it's like it goes in phases,because now I'll just have, you
know, lunch and nap for him.
He can be outside all morning,we can go see everybody in the
(09:57):
morning, we can maybe get out onthe boat.
You know, it'll be a little biteasier.
But then I'm also now I'm'mpregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was going to say you're starting all over again.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So then we're starting all over next year,
which honestly it's going to belike that for a long time, and I
think, like you said, peoplejust forget how hard it is.
One just to get everybody readyand out of the house, but to be
able to also keep your kidshappy, keep them on a schedule
and fed and just in a good moodso that you actually can enjoy
(10:28):
your time with everyone, becausenobody really wants you to come
over if your kid is tired andhungry and a mess and crying.
Like that's not fun for anybodyjust to be there.
Like is it really worth it justto be there?
I don't think so.
They probably are, like, whyare you here?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
You know Right, exactly why did you come over?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
if he's like this, it's like well, I felt like I
needed to, because I was missingout and you told me I needed to
come over, like so that's whyit's like hard, because you are
literally feeling torn in allthese directions and you, as
like an adult, want that time,you want to be able to go out on
the boat, have some drinks withyour family and your friends
and then not worry about it.
(11:08):
And it's like you just can't dothat right now.
Your life is forever changed,but you know it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Let's pause for a minute.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, I was just going to keep going.
Okay, sorry, cut this outAnyways.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Anyway, yeah, it is hard, I mean, and then you know,
so that's like one aspect andthat's like a place that you go
to often, that's a weekend.
Right it's a weekend, but it'salso, you know, a place that is
fairly well accommodating foryour needs.
Oh, yes, because you go thereall the time.
But now, if you take a, trip.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, we have everything there.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You go on a trip out you know wherever.
That's a whole differentballgame.
I mean, whether you're stayingin a hotel, an Airbnb, a camper.
I mean that's like a wholeother piece to navigate.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It just puts a whole other level of stress on it
because one like our kids arefamiliar with the cottage in
that place, so it's not as newLike granted.
Like they do have troublesleeping there, maybe the first
night sometimes until they getadjusted.
But it's not like a whole newcity or state or house or hotel
(12:21):
or wherever that they're justlike expected to be able to be
comfortable in.
Like kids, of course, are mostcomfortable at home, and then
the places they go often.
But then you're taking themcompletely out of their element
and just expecting them to likebe okay, like they're not going
to just be okay.
It's going to be an adjustmentfor sure, at least for my kids.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Well, we remember going to Gatlinburg when Taylor
was two, I think three,something like that.
Yeah, and Hayden I mean Haydenwas what eight and you came as
the babysitter, right.
I mean that was still like anentire.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well it's like you're out doing things and then like
they're tired or you're going toSome kids can take good
stroller naps, like Bowie usedto be able to take good stroller
naps Not so much now, but it'slike then you're out.
The schedules usually whenyou're on a vacation like that,
are going to get messed up.
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I know I you can't plan it out.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, you have to go with the flow If you're doing
activities and you're out andabout in the city or whatever,
like your kids are going to get.
I mean, at least for me, likewhen we're doing something like
that, I'm a little bit moreflexible.
But then I'm like, if they'rereally bad, I'm like, okay, no,
yesterday was a disaster.
Like they have to nap on timetoday.
You know, it's like I will goback, I will miss out because
(13:46):
it's on me the rest of the night, you know.
And then it's not fun foranybody else to hear your kid
upset and crying and it's juststressful.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Well, and even the activities that you choose to do
when you're gone.
I mean right.
So, like with Gatlinburg for us, I mean what we did.
We walked through town a tonwith the strollers we had to get
remember, I had to get Hayden,who was eight.
We had to get her a stroller.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Taylor, the strollers we had to get.
Remember how to get hayden, whowas eight.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We had to get her a stroller.
Taylor was fine walking.
She wanted to walk around, andthen hayden just wanted to be in
the stroller in the stroller,so we had to buy an extra
stroller.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
One of those little, oh yep, yeah, high maintenance
child, yeah, she was a highmaintenance child.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
She was oldest and the worst on that trip.
But I mean we couldn't, youknow, go off, and I mean there
were some cool golf coursesthere and stuff.
Like we couldn't go off andjust do that, I mean right we.
We did do a lot of tastings forall of the moonshine and things
which I felt like those were.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Those are pretty like family friendly because, yeah,
you literally just like go in,you can walk around, you can get
a tasting or not, and just likego.
I was all like open kind of, soyou just go in and out of the
stores.
But then you know, you guys,since the whole reason for me to
come was to babysit, like youguys, went out to dinner one
night, which was great for you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It's nice to be able to do that.
But Getting kids to sleep in anew place can be hard because
they're just not comfortable.
It's a new room, it's, you know, not the same smell they might
not have all their same thingsNew shadows there's.
Just, you know, like all thethings, it's a bigger or smaller
, or like with Bo like we youknow tend because we will travel
(15:18):
with like family You're usuallyall in one room and I think Bo
has a harder time when he'ssleeping in our room because he
hears us, you know there's morenoise and like he just knows
we're in there.
So if he wakes up in the middleof the night, instead of
turning over and going back tosleep, he's like crying for us
(15:38):
and then he wants us.
So then that makes it harder.
But it's like you can't.
He's not old enough to just besleeping out somewhere else with
the other kids.
He'd wake them all up probably.
So that's the other aspect.
It's a new place, they're notthat comfortable sleeping, and
then if you are in the same roomand they're used to sleeping in
their own room, that can alsobe hard because they're like oh,
I want you, You're here.
(16:01):
Pick me up you then the otherthing is, we'll let Bo cry too
and go back to sleep.
But when you're on vacationwith people, you're afraid that
if you let them screaming cryfor 20 minutes you're waking
everyone up and all the otherkids up and it's like I don't
feel comfortable doing that.
I can't do it.
I mean, if I was downstairs andwe were all off by ourself or
(16:23):
something in the area of thehouse, maybe, but I just am like
I can't do it.
I can't let him cry all nightnot all night, but for 10
minutes and wake everyone up.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
And that makes it hard too.
I mean gosh, that was evenharder at the cottage when I
would take the girls up there.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
We were in the downstairs bedroom but still
having the other crying in therewas still a bit of a challenge,
because I'm the same way withbeau at the cottage, yeah, and
like mom and dad will be like,oh it's fine, like right, like
it's not fine like it's notworking for me because they'll
wake up in the morning and belike oh, I heard him wake up
(17:01):
like right you know, and I'mlike, yeah, and that was just
like a couple minute cry or likeif he just like couldn't get
back to sleep and was upset andwas crying, it wasn't like we
weren't going to him, but umright.
Yeah, it's like.
No, it's like you want everyoneto be able to get a good
night's sleep.
So then you're like I justwon't sleep, I will pick him up
or he'll come in bed with me orwhatever it's like.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah you just don't.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But I mean, you know what it's such a short amount of
time for, like that vacation orthat weekend or whatever.
It's just like, okay, I willsacrifice myself in my sleep
because I have to for my child.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
That's funny, I mean.
So I mean taking this even justto you know your small little
family, like when we went toDisney a couple of years ago
yeah, two, three years ago, gosh, how long has it been, I don't
even know.
So when we went to Disney, youknow it's the dynamic, even with
just the four of us in onebedroom.
(18:00):
You know two heads, the girlssleeping together, bedroom.
You know two beds, the girlssleeping together.
I think I don't know if we hadto switch at one point and we
had to alternate adult kid kindof thing, cause they kick and
you know they don't sleep well,but going even like on rides and
things when we were there.
You know that's hard too,because we've got one, that's
you know younger.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, they're five years apart, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Right.
So she can't go on certainrides.
So it's like we had to even youknow kind of explain to Hayden
why you know you can't go, maybeon all these big rides because
we're not going to stand in linefor an hour when your sister
has nothing to do.
Or it's like one of you go withher on that ride and one of you
(18:41):
take the other one on anotherride, but then you know you're
splitting up which you knowthat's.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's fine, for maybe a little bit if she really
wants to go on some of thoserides.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Not on all of them.
You know, like I mean, causethere, you know there was still
quite a few like that, but Imean, there's just so many
pieces that, like you, navigateWell, it's like different
activities that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You know, like not everyone in the family is is
going to be able to do everyactivity that you want to do.
Like we're going to Colorado, Ican't go skiing, I'm pregnant
and I have Beau, which is fine,but we're going Right.
That's what most everyone'sgoing to be doing and they're
going to be taking turns becausewe have other kids in the
family too.
It's like you're going on thisvacation, but it's not
(19:21):
necessarily a vacation that youget to go.
But that's part of going onfamily vacations.
It's like you just have to beflexible with what's going on
and then hopefully, like there'sgoing to be something that,
like I can do or that Bo can do.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, other things yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It's like maybe we can go into town or maybe we can
like find like a sledding hillor like something, but it's like
there's just only so manythings that like you can, you
can do and then having yourwhole family go.
There's so many differentpeople in so many different
phases of life.
Yes, and like people forgetthat like oh yeah, you have kids
(20:04):
and you're pregnant, like youcan't go skiing on a ski and
we're going on a ski trip butlike I'm still going because I
want to be with the family, butit's like not necessarily right.
It's not necessarily a vacation.
This time you can't so it'slike.
So the next vacation I'm hoping, you know, it's like it'll be
(20:25):
somewhere warm and I can justmaybe like, relax on the beach,
have some cocktails, like youknow, whatever.
But it's like not everyvacation is going to be perfect
for everyone in the family.
If you're trying to take afamily vacation with everyone,
not when they extended like that, yeah Right, because everyone's
in different phases of life andwhen we planned this trip we
(20:47):
didn't necessarily know I wasgoing to be pregnant.
We like hoped I would be and Ijust kind of was like, okay,
well then I just I'm not goingto ski and, quite honestly, I
haven't skied in a very longtime.
So it's probably a good outthat I'm pregnant and I can't
ski, because it's been a coupleof years.
But at the same time I'm likeI'm hoping that there's, you
(21:08):
know, something that I canfigure out there that I can do
while they are skiing and I knownot everyone's skiing all day,
every day because when we wentto Colorado the first time, none
of us had kids, like none of ushad anything that we were
responsible for.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
We were the kids.
You know what I mean, like youwere the kids.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, so now, like then, we would wake up at seven,
we skied like till four, we'dbreak for lunch, you know, and
then we would come back havedinner, like have drinks, play
cards.
And then we'd go to bed, get up, do it the next day.
We did that for like five days,but now it's like no, like I
have kids, brett's sister haskids, there's other kids, you
(21:46):
know, because there are otherfamilies coming.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
The next time you do this it could be, you know, I
mean, you're going to haveanother.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Well, we'll have two kids and then, who knows, I
don't know if we're going tohave a third kid or not, I don't
know.
But it's like everybody's indifferent phases of life and the
vacations are not going to beperfect for everybody.
That's like just impossible.
But it's also nice to be ableto find something for the other
people to do while they're onvacation.
(22:12):
And like I need to like, lookfor stuff to do with Bo.
Yeah, because I don'tnecessarily want to sit around
at the Airbnb all day, right,but then there's going to be
days that you know what.
Yeah, let's just chill here.
Yeah, let's just chill.
Like this is great, but then I'mgoing to want to get out, I'm
going to want to do something.
So then also, it's on me tokind of find things to do for me
(22:33):
and Bo, because they're goingto be skiing or they're going to
be, you know doing whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Well, hopefully you have at least one day that's not
like that and that you guys cando other things together.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Right together.
Well, that's the other thingtoo.
It's like I totally understandthem, like wanting to go ski and
have fun.
That's why we're there.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
But at the same time I'm like, can we all do
something together, like one day?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
so that I can be with everybody.
You know activities, right,crazy hills, but yeah, and it's
like, and you know I should, Ishould just like say something
and I'm sure they would be finewith it, but at the same time
I'm like I don't want to be likepicky and like you know the
right.
I was like I don't want to ruinyour plans but like can we all?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
do something together .
Speaker 1 (23:14):
One day, or like half a day.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And it's like I should just find something that
would be fun for all of us to doand make the suggestion.
I just haven't done that yet.
But it's just funny when, whenyou are put in these situations,
it can be a littleuncomfortable because you're
going with, like your, yourhusband's family, like your
in-laws and their family andtheir extended family, and this
was the plan to go skiing andwhatever, and that's fine.
(23:41):
But I'm like, can we?
Well, we do something that Ican do, you know it's like you
just almost assume that everyonewill remember we'll think about
that yeah consider that right,but it's hard to.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I think it's harder for people that have been out of
it for so long, like rightparents because they don't even
realize how difficult it is atthis stage.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, well then bo's gonna have nap time and he's
gonna have, you know, and I'mpregnant too, which it's one
thing.
If I just had bo, but it's like, it's not like we can just go
to the bar, you know and like,or go like to a brewery where
it's kid-friendly, have a coupledrinks.
You know it's like I can't dothat either.
I'm totally up for a mocktail.
I would still go.
You know your mocktails crack,I know, but it's like there's.
(24:28):
There's things that we can do.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
We just have to like find out what they are reminder,
though, to other people thatare not in this phase that when
you have somebody in your group,in your party, in your family,
whatever that's going to beattending, whatever event, just
keep it in mind.
It's hard to do when you're notin this phase.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Well, it's hard because you don't necessarily
think.
You don't think about oh, Ididn't even think that she
wouldn't be able to go, or youknow, or I didn't even think
about that.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
You know she might be bored because she can't do it
like you might know or realize,but just think about it like I
mean yeah, well, and that's thething there's well, that's the
thing too.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
It's like yeah, you know I'd like to be included,
but, and it's like you know,they're not purposefully doing
this, it's just like it's justalso too like.
No, you need to also be able to, like, speak to your family and
tell them how you're feeling,too, and be open about it,
because then it's like they,like you said, haven't been in
(25:32):
this space for a while or theyhaven't even thought about that
part of it it's's like oh yeah,I thought you just wanted to
relax at the Airbnb.
It's like I didn't know youwanted to do something.
You know you've got Bo andwhatever.
So it's like, oh yeah, but youknow, one day, one day I might
want to get out, do something.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
I mean, I would totally Go all that way you know
Well, I'm going to have to peeevery two hours.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But, I mean it is what it is and it's like.
You know, we could have justlike not gone, but we wanted to
go and be with family and that'sno fun.
So it's like it's like you justmake it work and it's going to
be a fun vacation, no matterwhat, just because we're all
together.
We live in different states,like we're all kind of coming
together, so it's like it'sgoing to be fun.
But at the same time, it's likeyou also might need to throw
(26:17):
ideas around yourself to if youreally want to like be able to
go do something with everybody.
If the majority of everyoneelse is doing one thing and
you're like the odd one out,like you might have to just
vocalize because they'rethinking about.
well, they're just like thinkingabout what they're doing and
like that's why they're goingthere for the trip.
Everyone is doing that.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
But wait, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
There's one more.
There's one more.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, I think that that that's important to
remember, but very hard, andyeah, I don't know that there's
not really an easy way around iteither.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I mean, no, you just have to like nicely, say
something to, like gently,remind people, and then you're
just like and it's so awkwardfor me, yeah, and it's like, I'm
sure, like and also beingpregnant and your hormones,
you're just like in your headand more emotional about all of
these things Right.
(27:12):
So it's like it's not likethey're purposely doing anything
, it's just like you have tolike, vocalize what you need out
of the vacation or like a rudeway, right.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Like, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Well, yeah, and my, my attitude right now is not the
best.
That doesn't help the situation.
Proceed with caution, but right, that's the thing with
vacations and going on vacationswith friends or family or
whatever.
You just have to try to bemindful of the people going and
(27:52):
their situation, but also, likeyou also have to like stick up
for yourself a little bit andsay what you need out of the
vacation and then that wayeveryone has fun because, like,
everyone's like putting moneyinto the vacation.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Everyone's paying.
You're paying your way.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So it's like if you want it to be a vacation that
you're going to enjoy, then youhave to put in the work to maybe
find something for yourself todo or for everyone to do, that
they would all like to do.
So I think just having thatline of like open communication
is important and not beingafraid to say something.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, just take an extra moment everyone to think
about everyone in your party.
Like can this person go down ahill skiing?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Right?
Or can these people go out onlike the boat for five hours a
day Right Up?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
north.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
No, like as much as they'd like to, they can't.
You know so it's just like Iknow that was kind of like your
situation with the kids, it'slike I can't be out on the lake
all day with the kids.
And then we all were like whynot?
You know it's like why can'tyou?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Have you met my children?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Well, and then it's like that's not fun for your
kids if they're miserable on aboat.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Then it's not fun for me, and then everybody else
gets irritated.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It's like what's wrong with them?
Well, and then they're a messthe rest of the day because,
it's like they're hungry or theymiss nap, or you know, you just
try to push it a little too far.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
You know, it's just like yeah Well, and you know
another thing that just came tomind.
So even if you're not takingyour kids with you on a trip,
but if you want to go with othercouples or something, so maybe
not family, well, it could befamily, but couples or family
whatever.
Going on a trip without yourkids, like this we kind of ran
into quite a few years ago.
(29:35):
Out your kids like this we kindof ran into quite a few years
ago, but we're not ones to likeleave the kids home for an
extended period and go off anddo like some caribbean cruise or
whatever.
Um so we had friends that wantedto go on a cruise, but like a
seven to ten day cruise wellwe're thinking like five days
(29:55):
max, because we don't leave thekids like that.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, and that's a long time vacation.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We like to do it with everyone, like I mean, even
when they're little.
It's like we like to dovacation together and that's
just how we are.
And you know, they might theynot everyone's like that.
So we ran into that issue andit was really hard because our
friends just couldn't understandthat.
Well, why don't you want to go?
Like I would love to go, but Idon't want to leave my kids for
10 days.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Sorry, yeah, like I'm just not I mean, it's a long
time, and it depends on theirages too, I think yeah, you know
, and then like when they'reyoung, you don't want to leave
them, like you miss them.
And like even when they'reolder, like you miss them.
But then you're like, what arethey doing to the house?
Like you know, and it's likewell, they were gone for a night
(30:41):
, okay, so they never left mefor 10 days.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
No, but that's all it took to get a hole in the wall.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah Well yeah, we won't.
We won't go down.
My lips are sealed.
No, our friend was just a littleintoxicated and was spinning
down the hallway in a officechair and spun, hit her elbow
into the wall and then we justproceeded to put a picture over
(31:10):
the hole Because you can't tell,even though it was like almost
floor level.
Oh God good.
Luckily dj was able to patch itup just fine.
Yes, he did.
That's funny.
But I think they did leave thepicture over there for a little
while because it was so funny,because it was just.
I mean, it was good the thingsyou do in high school actually.
(31:32):
No, I think it was our firstyear at college.
SC form when you were here attown or community college.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that might have been.
It sounds about right, butanyways, yeah, there's a lot of
different things to consider andI don't know it's, I think it's
just forgotten that noteveryone.
Yeah.
I think like you, I mean likewell, that's just forgotten that
not everyone is going to thinklike you.
I mean like you know Wellthat's exactly it.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, not everyone is in your mind and knows exactly
what you're thinking.
That's why it's important tocommunicate, and if you have
like an issue or your needs,like on the vacation, are not
being met, you have to just likevocalize that, because
otherwise no one's going to knowunless you tell them and you're
going to be walking around allpissy Right, and then they're
(32:20):
like what's wrong with you.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
What's wrong, yeah?
Like why are you Right?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And like nobody wants that.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Like nobody wants that I mean God it's like Debbie
Downer over here, yeah, so Ithink that that's a good place
to leave it.
Though, just to you know, makesure that you talk to everybody
about things or, you know, justtry to throw some input in some
good ideas that areaccommodating to you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Like when everyone's talking about the vacation, just
provide like something, like alittle like yeah, let's do this,
or let's do this, let's all godo this.
Like a little like, yeah, let'sdo this or let's do this.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Let's all go do this.
This town is awesome.
Why don't?
We go have like a shoppingafternoon or even going out to a
restaurant or something.
I mean, if they're back in theevening, at least you know you
guys can have drinks.
Well, you can't drink, you canhave a mocktail, but I mean you
can do.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Well, you're just all together, yeah.
You're not secluded in thehouse in the Airbnb Right and I
think like with this trip, likeit's definitely going to be more
people in and out, not skiingall day, maybe ski a half day.
Some people go all day, likebecause there's other kids there
.
There's other parents that aregoing to have to be there too.
Their kids are older or alittle bit older, but they're
(33:31):
still not going to go all day.
They're not going to go all day, no yeah.
So it's like.
It's not like I'm going to besitting alone at the Airbnb all
day.
But, it's like if I like wantto get out like, I just have to
like vocalize that and say that,because otherwise they're not
going to know they might be likewe're right on the base of the
mountain, there's stuff likearound there to do Like, but you
(33:53):
just have to drive.
Figure out what that is, Iguess, or drive right, yeah but
you know it may surprise you.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
They may, you know, enjoy the alternative activities
too.
I mean something that you comeup with.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I mean, let's just face it, we're all getting older
and, um, who is gonna be ableto ski all day?
We went like huffing andpuffing, like there's like who
lives in that good a shape atthis point that we're going to
be skiing all day long.
We all were in much bettershape five, ten years ago,
whenever the heck we went lasttime.
(34:29):
And now it's just like, okay,yeah, half a day sounds good.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, it sounds great , I mean the first day.
You might be over ambitious andsay all day, but I'm pretty
sure it'll kind of dwindle,it'll even itself out towards
the end.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, and you know, then, when I think, when it just
comes to vacations in general,like everyone has a different
idea of what the vacation isgoing to be.
Or what feels good, you know,like what is enjoyable, and
that's why it's always like itcan be tricky traveling with a
bunch of people friends orfamily because everyone has a
(35:07):
different idea of what thevacation looks like, even in the
car.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
They want to do different things, right, just a
matter of your stopping or howlong you're going to go, or all
the little things.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Not everyone is going to be 100% happy.
When you travel with that manypeople, it's just impossible.
But that's why it's nice toaccommodate and vocalize your
concerns and what you want to do, so that if everyone doesn't
want to do this activity andsome people do, it's okay to
split up.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah, I was going to say split the group up and you
know you guys with the kids cango this way, right?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
It's like if the especially like people that
don't have kids and they, youknow, are either older or
younger or whatever, it's likeyou guys can all go do whatever
you want to do, but the peoplewith kids might want to do
something else and you don'thave to do that every day.
(36:02):
But it's like that's what'snice about being there a little
bit longer is like you can dodifferent things and different
people can do different things,and then you can do things all
together.
But that's why it's important,like when you are planning
vacations, that you just are allopen about what you want to do.
You know because, yeah, becauseotherwise it's like people
can't read your mind.
You know, people don't know, Idon't know why not, I mean I
(36:22):
pretty much.
I mean they should.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
My looks are right across the side.
You know my face.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
So yours usually are too.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, but I mean, gosh, even when we go up north
now, we still.
I mean, was it last summer, Ithink, or the summer before,
when we all went up for thefourth, I don't remember what it
was.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yeah, it was Wednesday, I think, but you guys
, you know were yeah, you guyswere out on the boat a lot.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
The kids are older but they're still bored.
We went into town, we went inand had lunch.
There was a little festivalthing going on.
You know, like we just went anddid our own thing, the four of
us.
But that's kind of how wealways do things.
We always I don't know wealways have our regroup moment.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
We always just Well, that's the thing too.
It's like when you are and then, like holiday weekends are
always chaotic anyway, oh, Imean Because like there's a lot
of people on the lake that youwant to see, a lot of friends,
like a lot of people from out oftown are there, you know.
So it's like that's a wholenother dynamic.
And then, like we've been upthere every year on the fourth
(37:22):
doing all of these things, andso you're used to a certain
routine and like that's justlike what happens and then when
someone else is like eh, you'relike, but this is right.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I know you're not gonna do this it's like I'm that
way.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
It's like oh, it's like okay, but it's like we're
still gonna do this, though youknow, because, like that's the
thing.
It's like well, no, no, we dothis every year, right sorry we
haven't been up there in yearson this holiday.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
We don't know what you do right.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
well, and that's the thing it's like.
Another great point it's likewhen you have like a family
cottage like that and you'reused to doing something on a
holiday or whatever, and thenyou either have friends up or
family up that haven't been upthere or haven't been up there
in a while, and then they'relike actually, can we do this?
Or I don't think we're going todo.
You're like what?
(38:12):
What?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
No, no you're like what, what, uh, no, no, it's
like what.
How do you not want to do?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
this, this is what we do, what has to happen.
So that's the other thing.
It's like when you do go upwith like a like, say we had a
friend up, we would bringfriends up, it's like they
didn't have a choice right.
Like if you're up here on thisweekend, this holiday weekend,
weekend, we wake up, we decoratethe boat, we do the boat parade
, we stay out and we drink andwe are on like we go over to the
(38:43):
to, like now my husband, butyou know we go over to the
Schmiggy's beach hang out there.
It's like we'll have a cookoutthere and then usually us kids
would stay and have a garageparty, and then sometimes we
would like just stay there orwe'd go home.
But it's like that's.
I'm like that's what we didevery year.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
What are you doing, jessica?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
you're going we would never.
That's like we never we, wejust.
It's funny.
We just started going into townmore like the last, like five
years maybe.
Um, especially now, like withthe kids, like there's a parade
and you know stuff like that butyou know, it's just funny
because, like we had at thatpoint no responsibilities like
(39:27):
our.
The guys we liked were over onthe other side of the lake and I
wanted to see bread and theywere always like friends up and
we're just like my kids would bebored.
Well, right, it's like they'rearound a bunch of like annoying
like 22 year olds and these oldpeople and they're just on the
boat all day or floating in thewater and like this isn't fun
(39:48):
for me.
But I mean it's just, it's justfunny because we were like
there were no kids up there,like no kids, like no one on
either side had young kids.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
The only kids that would come would be mine.
Right, I mean, that was it andthat's why it was such an
awkward time for us.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Well, and we are because we have an eight, almost
nine-year age gap, so like thestages of life were so different
.
And then when you're going overto other people's houses on the
lake and none of them have kids, it's just like a whole other
thing.
Everyone's just doing whateverthey want to do and you're like
I have two people I'mresponsible for and they don't
(40:28):
want to do this.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
And they are very bored and they don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
And now, looking back , I feel kind of bad because I
was like not helpful at all.
I was like, no, I'm going overthere and hanging out with that
guy that I like and we're goingto be on the boat and I'm going
to have some drinks and I'm likesee ya, but that's like being a
young, selfish 22-year-old.
But that's what it was butthat's exactly what it was, and
(40:57):
I'm like oh, now I canunderstand, Right, Because now
I'm in that situation and likeat the same time, though we all
have kids now, Like I, have kidslike you have kids.
Sid has kids like.
Brett's sister has kids, soit's like now everyone's in this
stage of life of having kids.
Our friends have kids now, soit's a completely different
dynamic for everybody up there,but you're together.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Now you have so many more people, I'm pretty much out
of the stage.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Well, right yeah.
Because, we've already beenthere.
Well, that's the thing.
We're at least all, sid and I.
Of course we're twins.
We're pretty much in the samestage of life.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
We're like 10-year difference because you guys
started everything a little bitlater.
I started earlier.
Yeah, I didn't have Beau untilI was 32.
Expanded that gap.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
But yeah, I mean, gosh, that was when I had Taylor
.
My second was at 32.
Yeah, I know.
And then Brett's sister, Ashley.
She had her kids like a littlelater, but our same time.
She's older than us, like fouryears older than us.
But, um, it's just crazy,though it makes a huge
difference, because now I'm like, yeah, there's, you know, we're
like getting pressured to goover to the other side of the
lake because they're all overthere, but then I have to be
(42:08):
over here.
We're not close enough whereyou can just like walk over
there yeah drive or take a boat.
And then we now that, now thatwe have like, um, now that brett
and I are married, we have twocottages on the same lake
because our family's both incottages.
So you have to pick like whichone you're gonna stay at and
stay there, because now we havebow.
Before sometimes brett and Iwould switch off, like one night
(42:32):
.
I'd be here one night.
You know I'm gonna have dinnerover here and I'll just stay the
night here, or you'd split.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
He'd be over at theirs and you'd be at ours.
But now you can't, yeah, nowyou can't do that.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Now it's like okay, well, you have to like have home
base at one place and staythere, which makes it hard for
the other family because theywant to see you just as much.
But you're like I can't do both, which also is, like you know,
it's great that we have twocottages and two opportunities
to be up there.
(43:01):
If one place is full, we'll stayat the other place, kind of
thing.
But it's also hard because youfeel so torn and it's like I'm
not picking this one over you.
I'm picking this one becausethere's room here, Right, or
because I stayed here last time,I'm going to stay here this
time, Like you just have to likekind of just that's just so
much thought that has to go intoit First.
(43:22):
Yeah, it's like what a problemto have.
Which cottage are we staying at?
But it does, it does like itdoes get hard.
It's a lot of tension, thoughit's a little bit, yeah,
especially with you and Brett,like you know, like he might
want to get his folks and thatwas honestly a big yeah that was
a problem when we were likedating and like together, like
before we had Beau is like, uh,like you'd have to decide whose
(43:46):
place you're having dinner atright.
Sometimes we'd split up but youwant to be together.
So then you feel guilty leavingyou know one place to go to the
other.
So, like a lot of the times weended up splitting up and then I
would like have dinner with myfamily.
Then I'd go over there and likehang out with them at night,
cause like our parents would goto bed earlier or there just
(44:06):
wasn't much going on.
But then over here, like hiswhole family's over there and
and there's like a party in thegarage and you're like, okay,
I'll go over there after dinner.
But then it's like at leastyou're spending time with your
family that you want to be with,and then you can go over there
and spend time with the otherfamily that you want to be with.
It's just like you have to.
It's like a juggling act.
And then sometimes like we'd belike, okay, before we go this
(44:30):
weekend, which place are westaying at?
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Right, you need a plan.
We're staying at mine or we'restaying at yours, and then it's
like okay, and then sometimessometimes you gotta like justify
your answers.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, sometimes we'd be like on the boat and we're
like, okay, what are you havingfor dinner tonight and what are
you having for dinner tonight?
It's like, ooh, they're having,they're having steak over there
, let's go, we're going to go toyour place tonight.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
You're having ribs on the grill, Hot dogs I just
don't sound like it.
It's like oh, you're just doingburgers and hot dogs.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Okay, let's go to your place for dinner tonight.
We would literally.
And then it got to just like bea joke because we're like
everyone's like okay who's gotthe better dinner.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So that you can, yeah , so hard like when like you or
Sid were up and I had to bepulled, I would most of the time
just be like, no, I'm gonna say, have dinner with my family
split up at that point, becauseyou were, usually we did us,
yeah, because I'm like, no,they're here, they're not here
all the time.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
I was like I'm gonna be here if you want to come,
great.
But I'd also be like, if youwant to go over there, I totally
understand because his familylike usually it'd be like a
holiday weekend when it was thehardest, because his sister
would come in from out of state,his brother would come in from
out of state and of course hewants to be with them all the
time.
And so I'm like, oh yeah, ofcourse, like you go over there.
It wasn't always easy becausewe wanted to be together, but
(45:46):
I'd be like no, you need to goover there.
I want to be with my familylater, like I'll see you all the
darn time, like it's fine, butalso you want to see the family
that's in from out of town too,but you also want to see your
family.
So it's great and it's hardbecause it's not.
It's like everyone's always upthere.
Yeah, it's not like you have topick one place to go for the
(46:09):
fourth.
You know it's like we werealways all in one spot and you
had to pick like what cottageyou're gonna be at and who
you're hanging out with.
It is so much tension andpressure like unnecessary
because you're doing it toyourself, because everyone
understands.
But like now that we have beauit was this past summer it was
really hard because you want tosee the families from out of
(46:31):
town but you also want to stillsee your family.
And then you have a kid thatyou have to get their nap
schedules and their food.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
They need a stationary spot they need to be
comfortable Right.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
And there's all this other stuff going on.
Other people are there.
You feel like you're missingout because you have to sit at
the cottage because he's napping, but then, like Brett would be
off, like with his family, andI'm like you know I also need
help.
Yeah, and then that would bethe thing too.
It's like I totally get it.
I understand you want to bewith your family, but you also
have this little family that Ineed your help too, because I
(47:05):
was doing everything by myselfand I'm like I just need a break
, I need help.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Right, so then yeah, family.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yeah, I like after like the second or third day of
it, I was like Brett, you just Iunderstand.
I was like, but you have tohelp me more.
Like I am running on E rightnow, Like you're up in a new
place, Like he's young, he'sbreastfeeding.
I know like I have to do a lotof it anyways, but I was like I
just kind of need more of yourhelp, you know yeah.
Yeah, and so like, after Italked to him about it, it was
(47:33):
fine, but it's like it was oneof those things that we had to
navigate through, because we hadnever had to navigate through
it before with a kid, and I'mlike I understand you want to be
over there, but I need help.
I was like I'm doing everythingby myself.
I'm like I am tired, I needhelp, like shout out to the
single moms, because I was likeGod, like it was just a lot, and
then you're in a new place.
(47:54):
It's always harder.
We have almost everything wewould need at our cottage,
though, like pack and playplates, bibs, whatever.
Right but it's just, it's just,it's always a lot.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
But there's noises.
It's like you wakes up from anap because somebody's coming in
and out of the doors.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
There's just so many things in.
Walls are thin.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Yeah, I mean it's not home, you know.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Traveling, going away for aweekend, a week, whatever it's
always going to be difficult tosome extent and you try to make
it as easy and comfortable aspossible, but it's not going to
be great, or?
Speaker 2 (48:33):
perfect for everyone.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
It just has to be like going into that.
You have to understand that.
Everyone else has to understandthat, like they're not trying
to make things hard, they're nottrying to like ruin your
vacation or anything like that.
It's like they're just doingwhat they have to do, or what
they want to do.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
I like how you say their vacation, but it's all of
your vacation, like it's yourvacation too.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Well, I'm not necessarily talking about me
specifically, but it's all ofyour vacation.
It's your vacation too.
Well, I'm not necessarilytalking about me specifically,
but just in the general schemeof things, like the other people
that are on your vacation withyou.
But in their mind, though,they're thinking so it's just
like you all have to.
Just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Yes, be vocal.
Express your feelings in a kind, calm way.
Yes, be vocal, express yourfeelings in a kind, calm way.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Yeah, I feel like that can also be the thing.
It's like you never know how,like your tone is coming across
to other people.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Your tone's all wrong , or?
Speaker 1 (49:31):
well, not vocally, but like through, like a text
message.
I feel like people like youalmost have to like do
exclamation points and smileyfaces and all that stuff,
because if you say, if you saylike something, like with
nothing, they're just like ohgod, she's pissed.
You know, but that's likeanybody, you know, especially
(49:51):
when people just go okay, donDon't use the cat, it's so silly
.
But people just are like, okay,that's it, okay, she must be
pissed.
That's also hard.
It's almost like just get on acall or a FaceTime or something
so that people can actually hearyour voice and that you're not
mad or do a bunch ofexclamations and smiley faces.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
That's a good point.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yes, it's always better to talk.
But like, how silly, likeyou're just worried about your
tone on a text message, but it'sa thing now it's like a thing.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
I mean it's easy to set people off.
I mean it would set us off.
That's the thing like.
What do you mean?
That was really direct.
She's like it's all wrong.
Talk to me like that.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
It's like how dare she?
No, uh-uh, that's not going towork, or how dare he.
I can't believe.
Brett said that to me.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Okay, well, I think that pretty much sums up what we
are trying to get across, whichis just, you know, remembering
to say what you're feeling.
You know, talk through thesevacations when you've got large
groups, when, you know, andremember everybody's in
different phases.
So just because 99% of thepeople in your group can do it
(51:08):
doesn't mean everyone can.
So we will leave it at that andhopefully in our next episode
we can kind of follow this upwith how a certain trip did go
and how it was navigated and wewill analyze that.
Thanks for joining us today onshe's Got it Together.
(51:30):
It's been a real journey,sharing and laughing with you
all.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
We hope you're walking away with a smile on
your face and a bit moreconfidence in your step.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Remember, you're not alone in this crazy ride called
life.
We're all in this together, oneday at a time.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review and
, of course, share this podcastwith all the incredible women in
your life.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Join us next week for more stories, more laughs and
more real talk.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Until then, keep embracing your unique journey
and remember you've got ittogether more than you think.
And sometimes that can be hard for your family
members to understand, and itcan be hard for you too, because
you feel like you're missingout on things.
So I think, at least for me,it's been a bit of a transition.
Our family's been verysupportive, but there's also
been moments, too, where theywant to do a certain thing and
(00:20):
you're putting your kids'priority first.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You can't.
Hi everyone and welcome to abrand new episode of she's Got
it Together.
I'm your host, jessica.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'm Samantha.
Each week we peel back thecurtain on what it really looks
like to have it together.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
From the messy moments to the milestones, we're
here to share it all.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive
into today's topic.
So we're going to dive intokids and traveling, whether it's
a weekend getaway or a coupleweek getaway or whatever you
want it to be.
(01:01):
But traveling with kids, whenyou and your family were used to
not having kids, can be reallyhard because your routines are
different, your priorities aredifferent and sometimes that can
be hard for your family membersto understand and it can be
hard for you too, because youfeel like you're missing out on
things.
So I think, at least for me,it's been a bit of a transition
(01:26):
like our family's been verysupportive, but there's also
been moments, too, where they,like want to do a certain thing,
and you're putting your kidspriority, first and right.
They forget that you just youcan't just like get up and go,
or you can't just go do thisthing at 1 pm when your kid's
supposed to be takinga nap.
So you're having to put yourkid's needs and like your
(01:49):
family's needs, like your littlenucleus of a family's needs
first before the extended familyand I think sometimes that gets
.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I mean that does get hard and it's hard for some
people to remember Everybody'sin different phases, yes,
everybody's in different phasesof their life, and when you put
together more than just yoursmall, you know your immediate
family your little family.
Yeah, like I mean when youstart getting the grandparents
and you know I mean even you andI with you know our kids are.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I mean with their age gap like nine, 10.
Yeah, Like nine, 10,.
Well, 13 years apart, Right,right, you know their needs are
different.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
They're very different and it's different
stages of life.
So you know, back 10 years agoI was where you are and now you
know our kids are grown, so thatwe can kind of get back into
the swing of most things.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You have a little bit more freedom of doing what you
want to do.
A lot of sass, right, but it'slike you don't have to worry
about nap times or certain mealtimes and bed times.
Those are the things In thebathroom potty training Remember
that's coming for you soonerthan later.
(03:03):
Yes, it is cleaning.
Remember, that's coming for you.
You know sooner than later.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So that'll be a whole another, you know dynamic to
add to this hard.
I mean it's not hard, it's justthis unique stage.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It's a phase of life that, yeah, that's great and
it's so rewarding and fun, butat the same time, it shows like
the little cracks of things,that of things that you can't do
or that people are forgetting.
It's not like you don't want todo it or you don't want to
bring your kid over or do thiscertain thing, but you have to
(03:38):
do your schedule or your routineand some people are more rigid
with their schedules and somepeople are more flexible.
Your schedule or your routine,and some people are more rigid
with their schedules and somepeople are more flexible.
But I'm not going to take, youknow, my kid over to your house
when it's like 30 minutes beforehis nap time and I know he's
going to be a disaster, likethat's just like.
yeah, it's like that's just notgoing to happen.
And so if there's like anexpectation or something in
(04:03):
their mind that they want to dothat day and you're not meeting
it, they can get like upsetabout it.
But you just have to put yourfamily first and your kids needs
first, and that doesn't alwayssit well.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, it's easy to forget the stage that someone
else is in, since you've longpassed it.
I mean going up north with ourfamily.
It was always hard for mebecause I had little kids.
You guys were just in your kindof early 20s, still having fun,
but adults.
And then of course, mom and dad.
(04:35):
They didn't have anyresponsibilities really outside
of themselves so they could dowhatever they wanted when they
wanted.
But you throw in my family withthat, then you've got.
You know, we had two littlegirls and then I mean having
bonfires like we did, we'd be,outside all day.
Well, that doesn't really workfor right, like in the winter
(04:56):
two-year-old, you know, or youknow, just going out
snowmobiling all day.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I mean not that we have done that in years, but I
mean that used to be a thing andit was something yeah, well,
and then just going out on theboat, like we would go out on
the boat like all day and havelike our food, drinks, like
music, like we'd be out on thelake all day.
But you can't do that with kidsand like we learned that this
summer with our kids it was thefirst summer that we had kids up
(05:23):
North and it was, you know,hard, for yeah, it was hard for
me too, because, like I wentwhen I was also breastfeeding Bo
, so like that took up a lot oftime.
And then, yeah, you feel likeyou're missing out, because we
would wake up, we'd like geteverything ready, we'd get out
on the boat, we'd stay out thereall day, go over to our
(05:43):
friends' houses on the lake andbe gone all day and maybe come
back for dinner.
Sometimes we didn't, we stayedover there and had dinner, or we
came back real quick and allate dinner together somewhere,
and then after dinner you'd havea bonfire and up really early
(06:05):
up north and then we're gettingthe kids breakfast and then
we're just like playing untiltheir first nap.
Okay, then you're sittingaround trying to figure out what
you can do, and then people are, like you know, our frame.
Yeah Well, and then, like forBrett and I, we have like our
family has a cottage, but thenBrett's family also has a
cottage.
It's on the other side of thelake, that's how we met, so like
(06:28):
his family's all over there,and then we were staying at like
our family's cottage.
So then it's like they want tosee us, but I'm over here and
then Beau's waking up.
He's got his morning, he takesa nap at 10.
So it didn't make sense to goover there.
The way like the mornings go,you know how mornings go, like
(06:48):
some are great, some are not,and then he's going to sleep.
And then you know they want tosee him, they want us to come
over like families over there.
And it's like but I can't,because he has to take a nap.
I can't just bring him over andthen have him be a disaster the
rest of the day because Imissed his nap by an hour,
because then that messes up hiswhole day.
It's like I'll bring him overafter he wakes up.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
It's like.
I promise I'm coming.
It's more than just the day too.
I mean I could ruin the night.
Honestly, you start off on thewrong foot.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Right.
So it's hard because you feeltorn, because, yes, of course
you want to be over there.
You course, like you want to beover there, you want to see
your friends, you want to seeyour family, but you also know
that your kid comes first andtheir needs come first and then,
like you said, people forgetthat or they don't think it's
that big of a deal if they misstheir nap, or they're just a
little late for a nap becauseit's been so long Right, or like
(07:38):
they just are not as likeworried about it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Their kids might be able to like kind of go with it
better.
Well, they might be moreflexible.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
The kids' lives, yeah , I mean structure is kind of
how all of ours work best, Right, and I feel like with Beau too,
it was like, yeah, he'd begreat then He'd maybe take like
an hour, hour and a half nap.
He's not a big long, longnapper.
I'm lucky if I could get anhour out of him and then we'd
get him ready.
But then that's the other thing.
Then you have to get him ready,get him sunscreened up, get
(08:09):
their bathing suit on, get theirlife jacket all the crap they
need.
I mean, yeah, so then you get onthe boat, or then you get in
your car and you go to the houseand you're exhausted most of
the time, right.
But then, literally, it's likethey wake up and they need lunch
.
So then you're like do I feedthem lunch and then go over?
Do I go over and feed themlunch there?
(08:29):
It's like a whole thing.
It's like you have this littlehuman that you have to take care
of, yes, and you can't just notdo it or ignore their needs to
make everybody happy.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
There is no moving it around very far so we would get
out on the boat.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
We'd be like, okay, guys, you better be ready when
I'm ready with this kid, becausewe are ready to go If you want
to get out in this boat todayfor an hour or two hours or
however much time we get ifwe're out there for 20 minutes.
Whatever it's like, you betterbe ready at the drop of a hat to
go on this boat.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
So a lot of the times like for you to run down right.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's like, just go sun yourself on the boat.
When I'm ready, I'll be runningout there like, start the boat,
let's go.
But it's like then, once youget out there, it's fun, it's
great.
But then he'd have to eat.
So I'm like, okay, let me justsit on the boat and I'm going to
feed you.
Or then they're fussy becausethey're not used to being in a
life jacket or on the boat andthey can't play.
(09:36):
Well, at this point Bo couldn'teven walk or really crawl very
much.
At that point this summer he'llbe all over the place.
It'll be a little bit place,it'll be a little bit easier.
He'll be down to one nap.
So it's like it goes in phases,because now I'll just have, you
know, lunch and nap for him.
He can be outside all morning,we can go see everybody in the
(09:57):
morning, we can maybe get out onthe boat.
You know, it'll be a little biteasier.
But then I'm also now I'm'mpregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was going to say you're starting all over again.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So then we're starting all over next year,
which honestly it's going to belike that for a long time, and I
think, like you said, peoplejust forget how hard it is.
One just to get everybody readyand out of the house, but to be
able to also keep your kidshappy, keep them on a schedule
and fed and just in a good moodso that you actually can enjoy
(10:28):
your time with everyone, becausenobody really wants you to come
over if your kid is tired andhungry and a mess and crying.
Like that's not fun for anybodyjust to be there.
Like is it really worth it justto be there?
I don't think so.
They probably are, like, whyare you here?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
You know Right, exactly why did you come over?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
if he's like this, it's like well, I felt like I
needed to, because I was missingout and you told me I needed to
come over, like so that's whyit's like hard, because you are
literally feeling torn in allthese directions and you, as
like an adult, want that time,you want to be able to go out on
the boat, have some drinks withyour family and your friends
and then not worry about it.
(11:08):
And it's like you just can't dothat right now.
Your life is forever changed,but you know it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Let's pause for a minute.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, I was just going to keep going.
Okay, sorry, cut this outAnyways.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Anyway, yeah, it is hard, I mean, and then you know,
so that's like one aspect andthat's like a place that you go
to often, that's a weekend.
Right it's a weekend, but it'salso, you know, a place that is
fairly well accommodating foryour needs.
Oh, yes, because you go thereall the time.
But now, if you take a, trip.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, we have everything there.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You go on a trip out you know wherever.
That's a whole differentballgame.
I mean, whether you're stayingin a hotel, an Airbnb, a camper.
I mean that's like a wholeother piece to navigate.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It just puts a whole other level of stress on it
because one like our kids arefamiliar with the cottage in
that place, so it's not as newLike granted.
Like they do have troublesleeping there, maybe the first
night sometimes until they getadjusted.
But it's not like a whole newcity or state or house or hotel
(12:21):
or wherever that they're justlike expected to be able to be
comfortable in.
Like kids, of course, are mostcomfortable at home, and then
the places they go often.
But then you're taking themcompletely out of their element
and just expecting them to likebe okay, like they're not going
to just be okay.
It's going to be an adjustmentfor sure, at least for my kids.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Well, we remember going to Gatlinburg when Taylor
was two, I think three,something like that.
Yeah, and Hayden I mean Haydenwas what eight and you came as
the babysitter, right.
I mean that was still like anentire.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well it's like you're out doing things and then like
they're tired or you're going toSome kids can take good
stroller naps, like Bowie usedto be able to take good stroller
naps Not so much now, but it'slike then you're out.
The schedules usually whenyou're on a vacation like that,
are going to get messed up.
I mean.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I know I you can't plan it out.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, you have to go with the flow If you're doing
activities and you're out andabout in the city or whatever,
like your kids are going to get.
I mean, at least for me, likewhen we're doing something like
that, I'm a little bit moreflexible.
But then I'm like, if they'rereally bad, I'm like, okay, no,
yesterday was a disaster.
Like they have to nap on timetoday.
You know, it's like I will goback, I will miss out because
(13:46):
it's on me the rest of the night, you know.
And then it's not fun foranybody else to hear your kid
upset and crying and it's juststressful.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Well, and even the activities that you choose to do
when you're gone.
I mean right.
So, like with Gatlinburg for us, I mean what we did.
We walked through town a tonwith the strollers we had to get
remember, I had to get Hayden,who was eight.
We had to get her a stroller.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Taylor, the strollers we had to get.
Remember how to get hayden, whowas eight.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We had to get her a stroller.
Taylor was fine walking.
She wanted to walk around, andthen hayden just wanted to be in
the stroller in the stroller,so we had to buy an extra
stroller.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
One of those little, oh yep, yeah, high maintenance
child, yeah, she was a highmaintenance child.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
She was oldest and the worst on that trip.
But I mean we couldn't, youknow, go off, and I mean there
were some cool golf coursesthere and stuff.
Like we couldn't go off andjust do that, I mean right we.
We did do a lot of tastings forall of the moonshine and things
which I felt like those were.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Those are pretty like family friendly because, yeah,
you literally just like go in,you can walk around, you can get
a tasting or not, and just likego.
I was all like open kind of, soyou just go in and out of the
stores.
But then you know, you guys,since the whole reason for me to
come was to babysit, like youguys, went out to dinner one
night, which was great for you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It's nice to be able to do that.
But Getting kids to sleep in anew place can be hard because
they're just not comfortable.
It's a new room, it's, you know, not the same smell they might
not have all their same thingsNew shadows there's.
Just, you know, like all thethings, it's a bigger or smaller
, or like with Bo like we youknow tend because we will travel
(15:18):
with like family You're usuallyall in one room and I think Bo
has a harder time when he'ssleeping in our room because he
hears us, you know there's morenoise and like he just knows
we're in there.
So if he wakes up in the middleof the night, instead of
turning over and going back tosleep, he's like crying for us
(15:38):
and then he wants us.
So then that makes it harder.
But it's like you can't.
He's not old enough to just besleeping out somewhere else with
the other kids.
He'd wake them all up probably.
So that's the other aspect.
It's a new place, they're notthat comfortable sleeping, and
then if you are in the same roomand they're used to sleeping in
their own room, that can alsobe hard because they're like oh,
I want you, You're here.
(16:01):
Pick me up you then the otherthing is, we'll let Bo cry too
and go back to sleep.
But when you're on vacationwith people, you're afraid that
if you let them screaming cryfor 20 minutes you're waking
everyone up and all the otherkids up and it's like I don't
feel comfortable doing that.
I can't do it.
I mean, if I was downstairs andwe were all off by ourself or
(16:23):
something in the area of thehouse, maybe, but I just am like
I can't do it.
I can't let him cry all nightnot all night, but for 10
minutes and wake everyone up.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
And that makes it hard too.
I mean gosh, that was evenharder at the cottage when I
would take the girls up there.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
We were in the downstairs bedroom but still
having the other crying in therewas still a bit of a challenge,
because I'm the same way withbeau at the cottage, yeah, and
like mom and dad will be like,oh it's fine, like right, like
it's not fine like it's notworking for me because they'll
wake up in the morning and belike oh, I heard him wake up
(17:01):
like right you know, and I'mlike, yeah, and that was just
like a couple minute cry or likeif he just like couldn't get
back to sleep and was upset andwas crying, it wasn't like we
weren't going to him, but umright.
Yeah, it's like.
No, it's like you want everyoneto be able to get a good
night's sleep.
So then you're like I justwon't sleep, I will pick him up
or he'll come in bed with me orwhatever it's like.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah you just don't.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But I mean, you know what it's such a short amount of
time for, like that vacation orthat weekend or whatever.
It's just like, okay, I willsacrifice myself in my sleep
because I have to for my child.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
That's funny, I mean.
So I mean taking this even justto you know your small little
family, like when we went toDisney a couple of years ago
yeah, two, three years ago, gosh, how long has it been, I don't
even know.
So when we went to Disney, youknow it's the dynamic, even with
just the four of us in onebedroom.
(18:00):
You know two heads, the girlssleeping together, bedroom.
You know two beds, the girlssleeping together.
I think I don't know if we hadto switch at one point and we
had to alternate adult kid kindof thing, cause they kick and
you know they don't sleep well,but going even like on rides and
things when we were there.
You know that's hard too,because we've got one, that's
you know younger.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, they're five years apart, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Right.
So she can't go on certainrides.
So it's like we had to even youknow kind of explain to Hayden
why you know you can't go, maybeon all these big rides because
we're not going to stand in linefor an hour when your sister
has nothing to do.
Or it's like one of you go withher on that ride and one of you
(18:41):
take the other one on anotherride, but then you know you're
splitting up which you knowthat's.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's fine, for maybe a little bit if she really
wants to go on some of thoserides.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Not on all of them.
You know, like I mean, causethere, you know there was still
quite a few like that, but Imean, there's just so many
pieces that, like you, navigateWell, it's like different
activities that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You know, like not everyone in the family is is
going to be able to do everyactivity that you want to do.
Like we're going to Colorado, Ican't go skiing, I'm pregnant
and I have Beau, which is fine,but we're going Right.
That's what most everyone'sgoing to be doing and they're
going to be taking turns becausewe have other kids in the
family too.
It's like you're going on thisvacation, but it's not
(19:21):
necessarily a vacation that youget to go.
But that's part of going onfamily vacations.
It's like you just have to beflexible with what's going on
and then hopefully, like there'sgoing to be something that,
like I can do or that Bo can do.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, other things yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It's like maybe we can go into town or maybe we can
like find like a sledding hillor like something, but it's like
there's just only so manythings that like you can, you
can do and then having yourwhole family go.
There's so many differentpeople in so many different
phases of life.
Yes, and like people forgetthat like oh yeah, you have kids
(20:04):
and you're pregnant, like youcan't go skiing on a ski and
we're going on a ski trip butlike I'm still going because I
want to be with the family, butit's like not necessarily right.
It's not necessarily a vacation.
This time you can't so it'slike.
So the next vacation I'm hoping, you know, it's like it'll be
(20:25):
somewhere warm and I can justmaybe like, relax on the beach,
have some cocktails, like youknow, whatever.
But it's like not everyvacation is going to be perfect
for everyone in the family.
If you're trying to take afamily vacation with everyone,
not when they extended like that, yeah Right, because everyone's
in different phases of life andwhen we planned this trip we
(20:47):
didn't necessarily know I wasgoing to be pregnant.
We like hoped I would be and Ijust kind of was like, okay,
well then I just I'm not goingto ski and, quite honestly, I
haven't skied in a very longtime.
So it's probably a good outthat I'm pregnant and I can't
ski, because it's been a coupleof years.
But at the same time I'm likeI'm hoping that there's, you
(21:08):
know, something that I canfigure out there that I can do
while they are skiing and I knownot everyone's skiing all day,
every day because when we wentto Colorado the first time, none
of us had kids, like none of ushad anything that we were
responsible for.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
We were the kids.
You know what I mean, like youwere the kids.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, so now, like then, we would wake up at seven,
we skied like till four, we'dbreak for lunch, you know, and
then we would come back havedinner, like have drinks, play
cards.
And then we'd go to bed, get up, do it the next day.
We did that for like five days,but now it's like no, like I
have kids, brett's sister haskids, there's other kids, you
(21:46):
know, because there are otherfamilies coming.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
The next time you do this it could be, you know, I
mean, you're going to haveanother.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Well, we'll have two kids and then, who knows, I
don't know if we're going tohave a third kid or not, I don't
know.
But it's like everybody's indifferent phases of life and the
vacations are not going to beperfect for everybody.
That's like just impossible.
But it's also nice to be ableto find something for the other
people to do while they're onvacation.
(22:12):
And like I need to like, lookfor stuff to do with Bo.
Yeah, because I don'tnecessarily want to sit around
at the Airbnb all day, right,but then there's going to be
days that you know what.
Yeah, let's just chill here.
Yeah, let's just chill.
Like this is great, but then I'mgoing to want to get out, I'm
going to want to do something.
So then also, it's on me tokind of find things to do for me
(22:33):
and Bo, because they're goingto be skiing or they're going to
be, you know doing whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Well, hopefully you have at least one day that's not
like that and that you guys cando other things together.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Right together.
Well, that's the other thingtoo.
It's like I totally understandthem, like wanting to go ski and
have fun.
That's why we're there.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
But at the same time I'm like, can we all do
something together, like one day?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
so that I can be with everybody.
You know activities, right,crazy hills, but yeah, and it's
like, and you know I should, Ishould just like say something
and I'm sure they would be finewith it, but at the same time
I'm like I don't want to be likepicky and like you know the
right.
I was like I don't want to ruinyour plans but like can we all?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
do something together .
Speaker 1 (23:14):
One day, or like half a day.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And it's like I should just find something that
would be fun for all of us to doand make the suggestion.
I just haven't done that yet.
But it's just funny when, whenyou are put in these situations,
it can be a littleuncomfortable because you're
going with, like your, yourhusband's family, like your
in-laws and their family andtheir extended family, and this
was the plan to go skiing andwhatever, and that's fine.
(23:41):
But I'm like, can we?
Well, we do something that Ican do, you know it's like you
just almost assume that everyonewill remember we'll think about
that yeah consider that right,but it's hard to.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I think it's harder for people that have been out of
it for so long, like rightparents because they don't even
realize how difficult it is atthis stage.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah, well then bo's gonna have nap time and he's
gonna have, you know, and I'mpregnant too, which it's one
thing.
If I just had bo, but it's like, it's not like we can just go
to the bar, you know and like,or go like to a brewery where
it's kid-friendly, have a coupledrinks.
You know it's like I can't dothat either.
I'm totally up for a mocktail.
I would still go.
You know your mocktails crack,I know, but it's like there's.
(24:28):
There's things that we can do.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
We just have to like find out what they are reminder,
though, to other people thatare not in this phase that when
you have somebody in your group,in your party, in your family,
whatever that's going to beattending, whatever event, just
keep it in mind.
It's hard to do when you're notin this phase.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Well, it's hard because you don't necessarily
think.
You don't think about oh, Ididn't even think that she
wouldn't be able to go, or youknow, or I didn't even think
about that.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
You know she might be bored because she can't do it
like you might know or realize,but just think about it like I
mean yeah, well, and that's thething there's well, that's the
thing too.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
It's like yeah, you know I'd like to be included,
but, and it's like you know,they're not purposefully doing
this, it's just like it's justalso too like.
No, you need to also be able to, like, speak to your family and
tell them how you're feeling,too, and be open about it,
because then it's like they,like you said, haven't been in
(25:32):
this space for a while or theyhaven't even thought about that
part of it it's's like oh yeah,I thought you just wanted to
relax at the Airbnb.
It's like I didn't know youwanted to do something.
You know you've got Bo andwhatever.
So it's like, oh yeah, but youknow, one day, one day I might
want to get out, do something.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
I mean, I would totally Go all that way you know
Well, I'm going to have to peeevery two hours.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But, I mean it is what it is and it's like.
You know, we could have justlike not gone, but we wanted to
go and be with family and that'sno fun.
So it's like it's like you justmake it work and it's going to
be a fun vacation, no matterwhat, just because we're all
together.
We live in different states,like we're all kind of coming
together, so it's like it'sgoing to be fun.
But at the same time, it's likeyou also might need to throw
(26:17):
ideas around yourself to if youreally want to like be able to
go do something with everybody.
If the majority of everyoneelse is doing one thing and
you're like the odd one out,like you might have to just
vocalize because they'rethinking about.
well, they're just like thinkingabout what they're doing and
like that's why they're goingthere for the trip.
Everyone is doing that.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
But wait, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
There's one more.
There's one more.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, I think that that that's important to
remember, but very hard, andyeah, I don't know that there's
not really an easy way around iteither.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I mean, no, you just have to like nicely, say
something to, like gently,remind people, and then you're
just like and it's so awkwardfor me, yeah, and it's like, I'm
sure, like and also beingpregnant and your hormones,
you're just like in your headand more emotional about all of
these things Right.
(27:12):
So it's like it's not likethey're purposely doing anything
, it's just like you have tolike, vocalize what you need out
of the vacation or like a rudeway, right.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Like, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Well, yeah, and my, my attitude right now is not the
best.
That doesn't help the situation.
Proceed with caution, but right, that's the thing with
vacations and going on vacationswith friends or family or
whatever.
You just have to try to bemindful of the people going and
(27:52):
their situation, but also, likeyou also have to like stick up
for yourself a little bit andsay what you need out of the
vacation and then that wayeveryone has fun because, like,
everyone's like putting moneyinto the vacation.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Everyone's paying.
You're paying your way.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
So it's like if you want it to be a vacation that
you're going to enjoy, then youhave to put in the work to maybe
find something for yourself todo or for everyone to do, that
they would all like to do.
So I think just having thatline of like open communication
is important and not beingafraid to say something.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, just take an extra moment everyone to think
about everyone in your party.
Like can this person go down ahill skiing?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Right?
Or can these people go out onlike the boat for five hours a
day Right Up?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
north.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
No, like as much as they'd like to, they can't.
You know so it's just like Iknow that was kind of like your
situation with the kids, it'slike I can't be out on the lake
all day with the kids.
And then we all were like whynot?
You know it's like why can'tyou?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Have you met my children?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Well, and then it's like that's not fun for your
kids if they're miserable on aboat.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Then it's not fun for me, and then everybody else
gets irritated.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
It's like what's wrong with them?
Well, and then they're a messthe rest of the day because,
it's like they're hungry or theymiss nap, or you know, you just
try to push it a little too far.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
You know, it's just like yeah Well, and you know
another thing that just came tomind.
So even if you're not takingyour kids with you on a trip,
but if you want to go with othercouples or something, so maybe
not family, well, it could befamily, but couples or family
whatever.
Going on a trip without yourkids, like this we kind of ran
into quite a few years ago.
(29:35):
Out your kids like this we kindof ran into quite a few years
ago, but we're not ones to likeleave the kids home for an
extended period and go off anddo like some caribbean cruise or
whatever.
Um so we had friends that wantedto go on a cruise, but like a
seven to ten day cruise wellwe're thinking like five days
(29:55):
max, because we don't leave thekids like that.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, and that's a long time vacation.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We like to do it with everyone, like I mean, even
when they're little.
It's like we like to dovacation together and that's
just how we are.
And you know, they might theynot everyone's like that.
So we ran into that issue andit was really hard because our
friends just couldn't understandthat.
Well, why don't you want to go?
Like I would love to go, but Idon't want to leave my kids for
10 days.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Sorry, yeah, like I'm just not I mean, it's a long
time, and it depends on theirages too, I think yeah, you know
, and then like when they'reyoung, you don't want to leave
them, like you miss them.
And like even when they'reolder, like you miss them.
But then you're like, what arethey doing to the house?
Like you know, and it's likewell, they were gone for a night
(30:41):
, okay, so they never left mefor 10 days.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
No, but that's all it took to get a hole in the wall.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah Well yeah, we won't.
We won't go down.
My lips are sealed.
No, our friend was just a littleintoxicated and was spinning
down the hallway in a officechair and spun, hit her elbow
into the wall and then we justproceeded to put a picture over
(31:10):
the hole Because you can't tell,even though it was like almost
floor level.
Oh God good.
Luckily dj was able to patch itup just fine.
Yes, he did.
That's funny.
But I think they did leave thepicture over there for a little
while because it was so funny,because it was just.
I mean, it was good the thingsyou do in high school actually.
(31:32):
No, I think it was our firstyear at college.
SC form when you were here attown or community college.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that might have been.
It sounds about right, butanyways, yeah, there's a lot of
different things to consider andI don't know it's, I think it's
just forgotten that noteveryone.
Yeah.
I think like you, I mean likewell, that's just forgotten that
not everyone is going to thinklike you.
I mean like you know Wellthat's exactly it.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, not everyone is in your mind and knows exactly
what you're thinking.
That's why it's important tocommunicate, and if you have
like an issue or your needs,like on the vacation, are not
being met, you have to just likevocalize that, because
otherwise no one's going to knowunless you tell them and you're
going to be walking around allpissy Right, and then they're
(32:20):
like what's wrong with you.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
What's wrong, yeah?
Like why are you Right?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And like nobody wants that.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Like nobody wants that I mean God it's like Debbie
Downer over here, yeah, so Ithink that that's a good place
to leave it.
Though, just to you know, makesure that you talk to everybody
about things or, you know, justtry to throw some input in some
good ideas that areaccommodating to you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Like when everyone's talking about the vacation, just
provide like something, like alittle like yeah, let's do this,
or let's do this, let's all godo this.
Like a little like, yeah, let'sdo this or let's do this.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Let's all go do this.
This town is awesome.
Why don't?
We go have like a shoppingafternoon or even going out to a
restaurant or something.
I mean, if they're back in theevening, at least you know you
guys can have drinks.
Well, you can't drink, you canhave a mocktail, but I mean you
can do.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Well, you're just all together, yeah.
You're not secluded in thehouse in the Airbnb Right and I
think like with this trip, likeit's definitely going to be more
people in and out, not skiingall day, maybe ski a half day.
Some people go all day, likebecause there's other kids there
.
There's other parents that aregoing to have to be there too.
Their kids are older or alittle bit older, but they're
(33:31):
still not going to go all day.
They're not going to go all day, no yeah.
So it's like.
It's not like I'm going to besitting alone at the Airbnb all
day.
But, it's like if I like wantto get out like, I just have to
like vocalize that and say that,because otherwise they're not
going to know they might be likewe're right on the base of the
mountain, there's stuff likearound there to do Like, but you
(33:53):
just have to drive.
Figure out what that is, Iguess, or drive right, yeah but
you know it may surprise you.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
They may, you know, enjoy the alternative activities
too.
I mean something that you comeup with.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I mean, let's just face it, we're all getting older
and, um, who is gonna be ableto ski all day?
We went like huffing andpuffing, like there's like who
lives in that good a shape atthis point that we're going to
be skiing all day long.
We all were in much bettershape five, ten years ago,
whenever the heck we went lasttime.
(34:29):
And now it's just like, okay,yeah, half a day sounds good.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, it sounds great , I mean the first day.
You might be over ambitious andsay all day, but I'm pretty
sure it'll kind of dwindle,it'll even itself out towards
the end.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, and you know, then, when I think, when it just
comes to vacations in general,like everyone has a different
idea of what the vacation isgoing to be.
Or what feels good, you know,like what is enjoyable, and
that's why it's always like itcan be tricky traveling with a
bunch of people friends orfamily because everyone has a
(35:07):
different idea of what thevacation looks like, even in the
car.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
They want to do different things, right, just a
matter of your stopping or howlong you're going to go, or all
the little things.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Not everyone is going to be 100% happy.
When you travel with that manypeople, it's just impossible.
But that's why it's nice toaccommodate and vocalize your
concerns and what you want to do, so that if everyone doesn't
want to do this activity andsome people do, it's okay to
split up.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah, I was going to say split the group up and you
know you guys with the kids cango this way, right?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
It's like if the especially like people that
don't have kids and they, youknow, are either older or
younger or whatever, it's likeyou guys can all go do whatever
you want to do, but the peoplewith kids might want to do
something else and you don'thave to do that every day.
(36:02):
But it's like that's what'snice about being there a little
bit longer is like you can dodifferent things and different
people can do different things,and then you can do things all
together.
But that's why it's important,like when you are planning
vacations, that you just are allopen about what you want to do.
You know because, yeah, becauseotherwise it's like people
can't read your mind.
You know, people don't know, Idon't know why not, I mean I
(36:22):
pretty much.
I mean they should.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
My looks are right across the side.
You know my face.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
So yours usually are too.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, but I mean, gosh, even when we go up north
now, we still.
I mean, was it last summer, Ithink, or the summer before,
when we all went up for thefourth, I don't remember what it
was.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yeah, it was Wednesday, I think, but you guys
, you know were yeah, you guyswere out on the boat a lot.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
The kids are older but they're still bored.
We went into town, we went inand had lunch.
There was a little festivalthing going on.
You know, like we just went anddid our own thing, the four of
us.
But that's kind of how wealways do things.
We always I don't know wealways have our regroup moment.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
We always just Well, that's the thing too.
It's like when you are and then, like holiday weekends are
always chaotic anyway, oh, Imean Because like there's a lot
of people on the lake that youwant to see, a lot of friends,
like a lot of people from out oftown are there, you know.
So it's like that's a wholenother dynamic.
And then, like we've been upthere every year on the fourth
(37:22):
doing all of these things, andso you're used to a certain
routine and like that's justlike what happens and then when
someone else is like eh, you'relike, but this is right.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I know you're not gonna do this it's like I'm that
way.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
It's like oh, it's like okay, but it's like we're
still gonna do this, though youknow, because, like that's the
thing.
It's like well, no, no, we dothis every year, right sorry we
haven't been up there in yearson this holiday.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
We don't know what you do right.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
well, and that's the thing it's like.
Another great point it's likewhen you have like a family
cottage like that and you'reused to doing something on a
holiday or whatever, and thenyou either have friends up or
family up that haven't been upthere or haven't been up there
in a while, and then they'relike actually, can we do this?
Or I don't think we're going todo.
You're like what?
(38:12):
What?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
No, no you're like what, what, uh, no, no, it's
like what.
How do you not want to do?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
this, this is what we do, what has to happen.
So that's the other thing.
It's like when you do go upwith like a like, say we had a
friend up, we would bringfriends up, it's like they
didn't have a choice right.
Like if you're up here on thisweekend, this holiday weekend,
weekend, we wake up, we decoratethe boat, we do the boat parade
, we stay out and we drink andwe are on like we go over to the
(38:43):
to, like now my husband, butyou know we go over to the
Schmiggy's beach hang out there.
It's like we'll have a cookoutthere and then usually us kids
would stay and have a garageparty, and then sometimes we
would like just stay there orwe'd go home.
But it's like that's.
I'm like that's what we didevery year.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
What are you doing, jessica?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
you're going we would never.
That's like we never we, wejust.
It's funny.
We just started going into townmore like the last, like five
years maybe.
Um, especially now, like withthe kids, like there's a parade
and you know stuff like that butyou know, it's just funny
because, like we had at thatpoint no responsibilities like
(39:27):
our.
The guys we liked were over onthe other side of the lake and I
wanted to see bread and theywere always like friends up and
we're just like my kids would bebored.
Well, right, it's like they'rearound a bunch of like annoying
like 22 year olds and these oldpeople and they're just on the
boat all day or floating in thewater and like this isn't fun
(39:48):
for me.
But I mean it's just, it's justfunny because we were like
there were no kids up there,like no kids, like no one on
either side had young kids.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
The only kids that would come would be mine.
Right, I mean, that was it andthat's why it was such an
awkward time for us.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Well, and we are because we have an eight, almost
nine-year age gap, so like thestages of life were so different
.
And then when you're going overto other people's houses on the
lake and none of them have kids, it's just like a whole other
thing.
Everyone's just doing whateverthey want to do and you're like
I have two people I'mresponsible for and they don't
(40:28):
want to do this.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
And they are very bored and they don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
And now, looking back , I feel kind of bad because I
was like not helpful at all.
I was like, no, I'm going overthere and hanging out with that
guy that I like and we're goingto be on the boat and I'm going
to have some drinks and I'm likesee ya, but that's like being a
young, selfish 22-year-old.
But that's what it was butthat's exactly what it was, and
(40:57):
I'm like oh, now I canunderstand, Right, Because now
I'm in that situation and likeat the same time, though we all
have kids now, Like I, have kidslike you have kids.
Sid has kids like.
Brett's sister has kids, soit's like now everyone's in this
stage of life of having kids.
Our friends have kids now, soit's a completely different
dynamic for everybody up there,but you're together.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Now you have so many more people, I'm pretty much out
of the stage.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
Well, right yeah.
Because, we've already beenthere.
Well, that's the thing.
We're at least all, sid and I.
Of course we're twins.
We're pretty much in the samestage of life.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
We're like 10-year difference because you guys
started everything a little bitlater.
I started earlier.
Yeah, I didn't have Beau untilI was 32.
Expanded that gap.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
But yeah, I mean, gosh, that was when I had Taylor
.
My second was at 32.
Yeah, I know.
And then Brett's sister, Ashley.
She had her kids like a littlelater, but our same time.
She's older than us, like fouryears older than us.
But, um, it's just crazy,though it makes a huge
difference, because now I'm like, yeah, there's, you know, we're
like getting pressured to goover to the other side of the
lake because they're all overthere, but then I have to be
(42:08):
over here.
We're not close enough whereyou can just like walk over
there yeah drive or take a boat.
And then we now that, now thatwe have like, um, now that brett
and I are married, we have twocottages on the same lake
because our family's both incottages.
So you have to pick like whichone you're gonna stay at and
stay there, because now we havebow.
Before sometimes brett and Iwould switch off, like one night
(42:32):
.
I'd be here one night.
You know I'm gonna have dinnerover here and I'll just stay the
night here, or you'd split.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
He'd be over at theirs and you'd be at ours.
But now you can't, yeah, nowyou can't do that.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Now it's like okay, well, you have to like have home
base at one place and staythere, which makes it hard for
the other family because theywant to see you just as much.
But you're like I can't do both, which also is, like you know,
it's great that we have twocottages and two opportunities
to be up there.
(43:01):
If one place is full, we'll stayat the other place, kind of
thing.
But it's also hard because youfeel so torn and it's like I'm
not picking this one over you.
I'm picking this one becausethere's room here, Right, or
because I stayed here last time,I'm going to stay here this
time, Like you just have to likekind of just that's just so
much thought that has to go intoit First.
(43:22):
Yeah, it's like what a problemto have.
Which cottage are we staying at?
But it does, it does like itdoes get hard.
It's a lot of tension, thoughit's a little bit, yeah,
especially with you and Brett,like you know, like he might
want to get his folks and thatwas honestly a big yeah that was
a problem when we were likedating and like together, like
before we had Beau is like, uh,like you'd have to decide whose
(43:46):
place you're having dinner atright.
Sometimes we'd split up but youwant to be together.
So then you feel guilty leavingyou know one place to go to the
other.
So, like a lot of the times weended up splitting up and then I
would like have dinner with myfamily.
Then I'd go over there and likehang out with them at night,
cause like our parents would goto bed earlier or there just
(44:06):
wasn't much going on.
But then over here, like hiswhole family's over there and
and there's like a party in thegarage and you're like, okay,
I'll go over there after dinner.
But then it's like at leastyou're spending time with your
family that you want to be with,and then you can go over there
and spend time with the otherfamily that you want to be with.
It's just like you have to.
It's like a juggling act.
And then sometimes like we'd belike, okay, before we go this
(44:30):
weekend, which place are westaying at?
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Right, you need a plan.
We're staying at mine or we'restaying at yours, and then it's
like okay, and then sometimessometimes you gotta like justify
your answers.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, sometimes we'd be like on the boat and we're
like, okay, what are you havingfor dinner tonight and what are
you having for dinner tonight?
It's like, ooh, they're having,they're having steak over there
, let's go, we're going to go toyour place tonight.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
You're having ribs on the grill, Hot dogs I just
don't sound like it.
It's like oh, you're just doingburgers and hot dogs.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Okay, let's go to your place for dinner tonight.
We would literally.
And then it got to just like bea joke because we're like
everyone's like okay who's gotthe better dinner.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So that you can, yeah , so hard like when like you or
Sid were up and I had to bepulled, I would most of the time
just be like, no, I'm gonna say, have dinner with my family
split up at that point, becauseyou were, usually we did us,
yeah, because I'm like, no,they're here, they're not here
all the time.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
I was like I'm gonna be here if you want to come,
great.
But I'd also be like, if youwant to go over there, I totally
understand because his familylike usually it'd be like a
holiday weekend when it was thehardest, because his sister
would come in from out of state,his brother would come in from
out of state and of course hewants to be with them all the
time.
And so I'm like, oh yeah, ofcourse, like you go over there.
It wasn't always easy becausewe wanted to be together, but
(45:46):
I'd be like no, you need to goover there.
I want to be with my familylater, like I'll see you all the
darn time, like it's fine, butalso you want to see the family
that's in from out of town too,but you also want to see your
family.
So it's great and it's hardbecause it's not.
It's like everyone's always upthere.
Yeah, it's not like you have topick one place to go for the
(46:09):
fourth.
You know it's like we werealways all in one spot and you
had to pick like what cottageyou're gonna be at and who
you're hanging out with.
It is so much tension andpressure like unnecessary
because you're doing it toyourself, because everyone
understands.
But like now that we have beauit was this past summer it was
really hard because you want tosee the families from out of
(46:31):
town but you also want to stillsee your family.
And then you have a kid thatyou have to get their nap
schedules and their food.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
They need a stationary spot they need to be
comfortable Right.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
And there's all this other stuff going on.
Other people are there.
You feel like you're missingout because you have to sit at
the cottage because he's napping, but then, like Brett would be
off, like with his family, andI'm like you know I also need
help.
Yeah, and then that would bethe thing too.
It's like I totally get it.
I understand you want to bewith your family, but you also
have this little family that Ineed your help too, because I
(47:05):
was doing everything by myselfand I'm like I just need a break
, I need help.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Right, so then yeah, family.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yeah, I like after like the second or third day of
it, I was like Brett, you just Iunderstand.
I was like, but you have tohelp me more.
Like I am running on E rightnow, Like you're up in a new
place, Like he's young, he'sbreastfeeding.
I know like I have to do a lotof it anyways, but I was like I
just kind of need more of yourhelp, you know yeah.
Yeah, and so like, after Italked to him about it, it was
(47:33):
fine, but it's like it was oneof those things that we had to
navigate through, because we hadnever had to navigate through
it before with a kid, and I'mlike I understand you want to be
over there, but I need help.
I was like I'm doing everythingby myself.
I'm like I am tired, I needhelp, like shout out to the
single moms, because I was likeGod, like it was just a lot, and
then you're in a new place.
(47:54):
It's always harder.
We have almost everything wewould need at our cottage,
though, like pack and playplates, bibs, whatever.
Right but it's just, it's just,it's always a lot.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
But there's noises.
It's like you wakes up from anap because somebody's coming in
and out of the doors.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
There's just so many things in.
Walls are thin.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Yeah, I mean it's not home, you know.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Traveling, going away for aweekend, a week, whatever it's
always going to be difficult tosome extent and you try to make
it as easy and comfortable aspossible, but it's not going to
be great, or?
Speaker 2 (48:33):
perfect for everyone.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
It just has to be like going into that.
You have to understand that.
Everyone else has to understandthat, like they're not trying
to make things hard, they're nottrying to like ruin your
vacation or anything like that.
It's like they're just doingwhat they have to do, or what
they want to do.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
I like how you say their vacation, but it's all of
your vacation, like it's yourvacation too.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Well, I'm not necessarily talking about me
specifically, but it's all ofyour vacation.
It's your vacation too.
Well, I'm not necessarilytalking about me specifically,
but just in the general schemeof things, like the other people
that are on your vacation withyou.
But in their mind, though,they're thinking so it's just
like you all have to.
Just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Yes, be vocal.
Express your feelings in a kind, calm way.
Yes, be vocal, express yourfeelings in a kind, calm way.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Yeah, I feel like that can also be the thing.
It's like you never know how,like your tone is coming across
to other people.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Your tone's all wrong , or?
Speaker 1 (49:31):
well, not vocally, but like through, like a text
message.
I feel like people like youalmost have to like do
exclamation points and smileyfaces and all that stuff,
because if you say, if you saylike something, like with
nothing, they're just like ohgod, she's pissed.
You know, but that's likeanybody, you know, especially
(49:51):
when people just go okay, donDon't use the cat, it's so silly
.
But people just are like, okay,that's it, okay, she must be
pissed.
That's also hard.
It's almost like just get on acall or a FaceTime or something
so that people can actually hearyour voice and that you're not
mad or do a bunch ofexclamations and smiley faces.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
That's a good point.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yes, it's always better to talk.
But like, how silly, likeyou're just worried about your
tone on a text message, but it'sa thing now it's like a thing.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
I mean it's easy to set people off.
I mean it would set us off.
That's the thing like.
What do you mean?
That was really direct.
She's like it's all wrong.
Talk to me like that.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
It's like how dare she?
No, uh-uh, that's not going towork, or how dare he.
I can't believe.
Brett said that to me.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Okay, well, I think that pretty much sums up what we
are trying to get across, whichis just, you know, remembering
to say what you're feeling.
You know, talk through thesevacations when you've got large
groups, when, you know, andremember everybody's in
different phases.
So just because 99% of thepeople in your group can do it
(51:08):
doesn't mean everyone can.
So we will leave it at that andhopefully in our next episode
we can kind of follow this upwith how a certain trip did go
and how it was navigated and wewill analyze that.
Thanks for joining us today onshe's Got it Together.
(51:30):
It's been a real journey,sharing and laughing with you
all.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
We hope you're walking away with a smile on
your face and a bit moreconfidence in your step.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Remember, you're not alone in this crazy ride called
life.
We're all in this together, oneday at a time.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review and
, of course, share this podcastwith all the incredible women in
your life.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Join us next week for more stories, more laughs and
more real talk.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Until then, keep embracing your unique journey
and remember you've got ittogether more than you think.
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