April 3, 2022 • 44 mins
Toronto. Teenhood. Puberty. Friendships. Filial Piety. Emotions! The movie Turning Red is about a 13-year-old girl who is torn between her duties to walk down the path paved by her ancestors and her desire to find her own path. Kristy and Angie, both of whom happen to have been 13-year-old girls in the early 2000’s, weigh in on the key themes like intergenerational trauma and loss of identity. Turning Red is a gift to the Asian-diaspora community delivered in a shimmery wrapping paper of hope and optimism.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kristy Yee (00:00):
holy fuck.
That entire one and a half moviewas one giant episode of shit we
don't tell mom.
Angie Yu (00:07):
Yeah, because there was a lot of things that she
didn't tell her mom, and then itpiled on and on and on and on,
and then exploded.
(00:41):
Welcome back to another episodeof shit.
We don't tell mom this.
Kristy Yee (00:44):
this is Christie
Angie Yu (00:46):
And today is our season three finale.
And we're going to be talkingabout the movie that just came
well, we're not going to be justtalking about the movie, but
we're going to talk about sometopics that are very important
to us that were covered in themovie, turning red and Chrissy.
And I both watched the movielast week.
(01:08):
we actually accidentally noteven, we serendipitously watched
it on the same night withouteven knowing, like, without
knowing in advance.
I only found out when I loggedonto our Instagram to post
something about it on the storyand saw that Christie had
already posted something.
And I was like, oh my God.
So I messaged, her right away.
(01:28):
I'm like, oh my God, are youwatching this?
I'm watching it too.
I'm going to tell you so manyopinions after.
Kristy Yee (01:33):
C R wavelengths are still riding in the same
frequency, even though we are inthree hour time zone differences
apart.
Angie Yu (01:41):
Yes.
Yes, we are vibrating at thesame gigahertz.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway.
so what were your thoughts aboutthe movie?
How did you feel during themovie?
How did you feel after themovie?
How do you feel now?
Kristy Yee (01:58):
okay.
Before the movie even started,like before the turning.
Oh, by the way, listeners majorspoiler alert from here on now.
So if you have, so you have notwatched the movie come back to
this episode after you havewatched the movie turning red.
(02:22):
Okay.
Spoilers begin.
So even before the, the scenewhere it says turning red, you
know, where like the title comeson, right?
Yeah.
Like the one minute before thatI was already grinning like
crazy, just plastered on myface.
(02:42):
And from that moment, it juststayed on for the entire one and
a half hours.
So that was my foundational.
Or your motion was just likethis massive grin on my face.
And then throughout the movie,during all the different scenes
and, and all of the, you know,different story climaxes, I
(03:03):
would either be laughing withthe grin on my face or crying,
like bawling, like, like I'mtalking real ball with, with
snot and sticky stuff coming outof all sorts of my facial parts.
Angie Yu (03:21):
that's so gross and so sweet at the same time.
Kristy Yee (03:24):
And then, but I still could not stop smiling
because of all the thousand andone Easter eggs that have been
placed in this movie.
And every single one of themmade me smile.
I've categorized them into threedifferent parts.
One is the nostalgia.
So the 2002 early two thousandsera, then there's the Asian
(03:46):
representation.
And then.
The Canadian culture and everytime I see any one of those
three, and oftentimes it'd belike every single fucking scene
on this storyboard, I would, Iwould just grin at the
representation and just grin atthe familiarity of it, you know?
(04:09):
And that's why I kept smilingthroughout the entire movie.
How did I feel afterwards?
very emotional nostalgia aside.
I think there was a lot ofthemes that we can relate to and
we can touch more on that laterin this episode.
but it, it made me feel, it mademe feel.
(04:31):
So few episodes ago in thisseason, sometimes during the
season we had an episode onhanging out with our inner
child.
And not only did it feel like Iwas hanging out with her while I
was watching this movie, it mademe feel like she was crying and
I was giving her a hug.
(04:54):
Like she was hurt.
She was in a place where she wasreally hurt and had a lot of
pain.
And there was someone there tohold her that.
And I think a lot of the painrepresented in the movie without
(05:18):
making it feel like this movieis, you know, very sad and
depressing because it is totallynot, but it has touched on
themes that will bring up someof these emotions.
And I think part of that is thescariness.
When you transition from being akid to feeling like you're
(05:44):
becoming an adult and like themovie set, there's a lot of
growing pains that come withthat.
And I think, I think back towhen I was going through those
growing pains, it didn't feellike I had a lot of support.
Maybe I did, but I just didn'trecognize.
So I felt lonely.
And so now when I watched thismovie and I see some of these
(06:05):
themes come up and, and they'rebeing represented on TV with
someone that looks like me,except the red hair part, it, it
felt like I'm allowing myself torevisit that part of my past and
then allowing myself to feelcomforted.
(06:25):
Even though I felt so alone atthat time when it happened,
Angie Yu (06:28):
yeah, it's a very complex relationship with the
movie that cannot be, cannot benarrowed down to a couple of
emotions based on.
For me, prior to watching themovie, I saw, you know, there
was that, male, white moviereviewer or whatever, where on
Twitter, he said that the movie,unlike other Pixar movies, this
(06:52):
one was very difficult torelate, unless you're a part of
a very specific, narrow slice ofsociety or something like that.
And I was like, ah, excuse me.
so like with that in mind, itset up the expectation that
there were going to be a lot ofspecificity.
Fuck it.
It gets specificity.
(07:16):
it gave me the idea that therewould be a lot of specific
things in the movie and like itmet.
So that really met and exceededmy expectations.
So many things that made me go,oh yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Like, you know, those momentsyou know, we can't talk about
this movie without talking aboutrepresentation without even
(07:38):
mentioning the wordrepresentation.
So like yes, that made me feelsuper represented.
I will say that the part for methat was not as relatable for
me.
Was when it was about 2002.
And when I was mailings age, Iwas still kind of getting used
to life in Canada.
So a lot of things that were inthe movie I never had, so I
never had a Tamagotchi.
(08:00):
I don't think I had Tim HortonTimbits until university.
there was just all these otherthings that I didn't really
experience when I was that age,which doesn't mean that it makes
any bad because you know, I'mnot this like white male movie
reviewer, that's narrow minded.
Like, it's so great for me tosee, but on a personal level, it
wasn't as relatable for me.
I also never listened to boybands.
(08:21):
I never went to a concert.
I also didn't really have thatmany friends, but watching the
movie almost helped me relivethat part.
It made me feel like included.
Kristy Yee (08:35):
Mm.
Angie Yu (08:37):
Like they were my friends, like Miglin and her
friends were my.
Kristy Yee (08:41):
Hmm.
Angie Yu (08:42):
And I didn't have friends like that until I got
older.
Kristy Yee (08:47):
So it's interesting because in both of our versions,
we somehow went back to our ownchildhood and.
Basically like relived minebecause I did have a Tamagotchi.
I, I am still very into boybands, like that has not grown
(09:07):
out of the, I still live in theearly two thousands.
I attended my first concert everin 2003.
So basically Malin.
Angie Yu (09:21):
you
Kristy Yee (09:22):
I was 13.
I was 13, 2003 attended my firstconcert saved some money, went
to this event without anyparents felt like a grownup, you
know?
And That would have.
Angie Yu (09:33):
must mean so much to you.
Like it has so many parallelswith your own life and you're
living in Toronto right now.
Kristy Yee (09:39):
I know exactly.
Okay.
So here's the thing like Malin,there's this entire movie.
Okay.
You're not gonna, you're notgonna relate a hundred percent.
That's like not possible.
I mean, it is possible, but it'shighly unlikely that you're
going to be able to feel everysingle thing that happened and
relate to every single detail,right.
Because that's mainland's life.
(10:00):
And then Angie, this is yourlife.
I'm going to give this a critic.
Like, I don't know, two minutesof our time.
And then I don't want to talkabout him anymore because he
does not deserve space on ourplatform right now.
Angie Yu (10:14):
That's true.
Kristy Yee (10:15):
But I just want to say how fucking, like
Angie Yu (10:18):
rude.
How rude
Kristy Yee (10:23):
how privilege it is for this person to feel like
every single movie they need torelate to and how threatened.
They feel that when the momentsomebody else takes the big
screen and they don't relate toit, they feel like that
shouldn't be on their screen.
Angie Yu (10:45):
Yeah.
And that's exactly why it wassuch a problematic tweet and
that's exactly what, everybodyon the internet was just like,
fuck you, dude.
Kristy Yee (10:51):
it goes without saying that he feels definitely
threatened.
And the fact that if you, youknow, what, I don't even, I
don't even want to go into
Angie Yu (11:05):
yeah.
Let's not even go to it.
Loo it, we, yeah, that's acompletely, we're here to focus
on us.
Not, not this, you know, bozo,
Kristy Yee (11:16):
going back to the movie.
Yeah.
I felt super heard andvalidated, and I feel like we
should drink every time we saythe word relate
Angie Yu (11:25):
relate representation.
Nostalgia.
Kristy Yee (11:30):
it's going to come up like 5,000 times in this
episode.
and yes, all, all those Eastereggs about Toronto.
I now live in Toronto.
If I had watched this movie inVancouver, I think I would have
still loved it a lot, but maybelike 0.5% less excited than I am
now because I see streets that Irecognize.
(11:52):
Like, I look at Chinatown, I'mlike, that's fucking Spadina,
you know?
And then she's running down thealleyway.
I'm like, that looks likeKensington market, you know?
And, and it's like, Daisy Martis a real.
Angie Yu (12:05):
Oh, really?
I
Kristy Yee (12:07):
It's not made up.
That shit is real.
That's the convenience store.
It's all over in Toronto.
So it's, you know, these little,little things, right.
And Skydome is actually calledSkydome.
Like it's still part of thetrunk, Toronto culture, trunk,
Toronto, Tony, and you knowwhat, I'm not going to try.
Angie Yu (12:24):
specificity.
Oh my God.
I actually said it right thattime.
Kristy Yee (12:28):
What I really, really tugged at my heartstrings
is the Cantonese that was in themovie, not just the chanting,
but like the Cantonese speaking.
You'll see it in random places.
Like when they're watching TV,when Malin and her mom
Angie Yu (12:45):
oh yeah.
Watching the Chinese television.
Yes.
Kristy Yee (12:49):
Yeah.
And there were watching likethe, the ancient, dramas, which
is exactly what I, yes, theperiod dramas on my fucking art.
I, I, I would binge that shit,you know, and I, I used to watch
it on cable.
People watch things on cable andhearing Cantonese being spoken.
(13:10):
That was really special to mebecause I think at least for me,
it feels like a lot of timeswhen Chinese culture is being
represented it a lot of timesit's a Mandarin.
So when I heard Cantonese, whenshe's running down Spadina
avenue in Chinatown, and you canhear people in the background,
(13:31):
speaking Chinese, you can hearthe Cantonese on the TV show.
You can hear the grandma'ssaying, say sailor or something
like that.
S I, why I'm pointing.
She's like sailor.
And what I also love is when.
I like to actually watch movieswith subtitles on, so I'm I'm
team subtitles and every timethey spoke in Cantonese, they
(13:54):
would not translate that in thesubtitles.
It will just say bracket IX,speaking Cantonese, which I
really appreciated because Idon't know if you've seen the
west side story.
It's a musical.
Okay.
So I know we're talking aboutturning red, but in the west
side story, like twenty-fivepercent of the movie is in
(14:16):
Spanish and they do not putsubtitles when they are speaking
in Spanish.
And the reason for that isbecause the director does not
want to like elevate English,like the language as something,
you know, more superior, right?
It's like, if you understandSpanish, great, if you don't,
well, they're speaking Spanish,that's it.
(14:37):
And I felt like I don't knowwhat the intention was, but when
I saw that all of the Cantonesethat was spoken in the movie
was.
Subtitled or translated at thebottom.
It just felt like an extra, youknow, oh, here's, here's a
little something, something forall you Cantonese speakers out
there.
Angie Yu (14:57):
yeah, actually you're right now that I think about,
I'm trying to think of a moviein recent times where they spoke
Cantonese instead of Mandarin.
I can't really think of any likecrazy rich, Asian they spoke
Mandarin of course, because itwas Singapore.
And then, In farewell thathappened in China.
So that's actually, I doappreciate that Domi did that
(15:17):
because she is from China andnot she's from a Mandarin
speaking part of China fromactually.
So taking a step back fromtalking about representation,
the intergenerational trauma wasvery, parent and.
Important.
I'm really glad that that wasreally highlighted.
(15:38):
and it was, it was, it was atheme that I think anybody,
maybe not anybody, but I think alot of people can relate to and
also identify right away.
Cause I think that interracial,interracial intergenerational
trauma in other movies areprobably not as, front and
(15:58):
forward.
It's usually like at the back ofthe plot, but I think this was
like, this was like the apply,you know, like the, the, every
generation of women in thefamily turns into a red Panda.
Like that's very generational,right?
So it was like very front andcenter in the movies plot.
whereas in most other moviesit's kind of in the background,
(16:19):
like off the top of my head,crazy rich Asian Kung Fu Panda.
Kristy Yee (16:23):
Shout out to Encanto.
What were some points that youfelt like the intergenerational
trauma was represented well inthe movie and whisper was maybe.
Represented not as well.
Angie Yu (16:40):
For me personally, the part that was like just right
nail on the head kind of kind ofa moment was when the mom was
like, how could she do this tome?
Kristy Yee (16:50):
Um,
Angie Yu (16:51):
was the most relatable because my mom has said that
before.
And she has expressed sentimentsin that regard before she
understood what it's like to notput your own happiness on your
kid.
(17:11):
Like she's an only child.
her parents she's like thecenter of her parents' world and
she has to be this perfect kidand do well with everything
because you know, her parentssacrifice so much for her and
she's trying to uphold thatexpectation and trying to
deliver.
But of course she strugglesbecause that's not who she
really is.
And that was really relatablefor me.
(17:31):
and I think the representationof Chinese fathers, because
Mailyn's dad was, he was there,but he kind of played a side
kick role to the mom.
And that was very relatable tome too.
I'm not sure about other peoplebecause I know how I know I have
(17:52):
friends whose, whose, dadsplayed more the primary parent
figure.
So in this case, like, it's notlike when we watch movies based
on.
Like white people's lives, wherethe parents are very, like,
they're like both reading a bookto their child at the same time,
which is like, how many familiesChinese were not, does that
(18:14):
happen to you?
Right.
so for me that was relatable.
Like the one parent reallytaking on all the
responsibility, because I don'tthink it's because she doesn't
trust her husband or that she'sbossy.
I think she expects that that'sher role as a mother and that's
(18:35):
expected of her and to be aperfect mother, you have to be
like good.
They could pick up thehelicopter while your kid
Kristy Yee (18:43):
I think you touched a really great point here
because it's not just aboutMalin and her growth, but
there's actually a lot of growthfrom the mother as well.
I think there's this one scenetowards the end of the movie
when Malin and her mom and allthe aunties and grandma went to
this other dimension
Angie Yu (19:05):
the spirit world.
Kristy Yee (19:06):
yeah, exactly.
And they're about to, splittheir Panda and their human
self.
And mainland finds her mom as akid feeling super stressed out
saying the same words that Malinhad said, feeling all that
pressure of trying to be perfectand feeling like she can never
(19:29):
live up to her mother'sexpectations.
And clearly that, that was acyclical moment for Malin too,
to even witness.
Can you imagine meeting your 13year old version of.
Angie Yu (19:50):
like, I've heard stories.
So I kind of have an idea, butno, I cannot even imagine like
10% of what it was like for her
Kristy Yee (20:00):
and like it, you know, this is all hypothetical
unless we have time Turners, butjust for a moment, imagine what
that would be like.
And that amount of empathy andcompassion that you will feel
after that encounter.
With 13 year old mom, we hear itfrom our parents all the time.
(20:23):
Like, I've been young ones, I'vebeen in your shoes, blah, blah,
blah.
But when you hear that, usuallyit's like, you know, part of
some argument and every time Ihave one those conversations
with my mom, I, my first thoughtis, well, that was a different
generation.
Like you were in the other sideof the world and no standards
were different.
Expectations were different, etcetera, et cetera.
(20:44):
So I'm like, You cannot say, youcannot say you understand me
because we we're, we've grown upin different places.
And so basically everything thatshe said would, would turn into
shit, right?
Like there's zero credibility.
When she says she relates to howI feel when I was 13.
So seeing that scene play outactually made me feel a little
(21:10):
bit more forgiving to my mumbecause I'm sure she had a fuck
ton of pressures as well.
And I think about my, my mom'sstory and I don't want to go too
much into it because that's herstory, but she lives.
Majority of her youth all theway up into early twenties.
(21:31):
Nope.
Lie all the way up into her,late thirties, doing all the
things that her mom wanted herto do.
So my, what my grandma wantedfor her.
So she lived her life for mygrandma.
And, and I know it's becausegrandma wanted the best for her,
blah, blah, blah.
And then my mom probablyunknowingly picked up a lot of
(21:56):
these teaching methods andstarted to expect the same from
me.
And then I would feel I wouldhold a lot of grudge against
that, especially because I grewup in a different world and I
see things a little, I seethings differently.
And the movie reminded me thatthere are things that I still
(22:23):
need to forgive.
My mom.
Angie Yu (22:26):
oh, I think that's exactly why I was like, what I'm
hoping that this movie will doslash is doing for a lot of,
Mother daughter relationshipsbecause it as kids, we always
underestimate our parents, wealways do.
Art podcast name is to underestimate and undermine our
(22:48):
parents.
But obviously, you know, thelisteners, like if this is the
only episode you've heard of,like, please go and listen to
our other episodes because werespect our parents a lot.
And, it's a reverse psychologynow what I mean now?
I mean,
Kristy Yee (23:03):
Wait, wait to plug some episodes in there.
Angie Yu (23:05):
yeah.
Kristy Yee (24:07):
Okay.
This movie though, I have tosay, after I finished watching
the movie, of course, I'm likegiddy.
I'm still, you know, bump intofour town music.
I've already downloading it onSpotify.
But my first thought was, holyfuck.
That entire one and a half moviewas one giant episode of shit.
We don't tell mom.
Angie Yu (24:29):
Yeah, because there was a lot of things that she
didn't tell her mom, and then itpiled on and on and on and on,
and then exploded.
Kristy Yee (24:40):
And then it talked about, you know, communication
and forgiveness andunderstanding and growth.
And sometimes.
Not sometimes in life, we moveon, we change and we need to
accept that change as part ofour growth.
And then how do we manage thesechanges within our relationship?
And I think that was beautifullydone because at the end it
(25:01):
wasn't, it was like, there wassome flavors of bittersweetness
because both mom and MeiLinstill treasure, the times that
they had together beforemainland, you know, grew up, but
(25:22):
also allowing MeiLin to grow upand knowing that those memories
that they have together, that'salways going to be there.
It's always going to betreasured, but moving forward,
it's not going to be the sameroutine anymore.
And then accepting that,accepting that.
(25:44):
So it's like a bittersweetmoment and no matter, I think
where you are in terms of yourrelationship with your mom,
there's, there's always going tobe some level of change that had
happened throughout the years.
Like that's inevitable, right?
People grow up and yourrelationship is not going to be
the same forever.
(26:04):
And some people try to hold onto what it was, but you can't,
and the more you try to holdonto it, the more it kind of
backfires on you.
And so really it's almost astory of letting go and
accepting as well.
Angie Yu (26:25):
and now I just want to go and hug my mom.
Hmm.
I will say that like this moviehas also made me feel very lucky
in some regard as well.
Well, I mean, yes, it has mademe feel very lucky because on
one side, there's just so muchwholesomeness in our community,
(26:46):
you know, like in the wholeAsian American, community, just
everyone is just wanting to.
Really get in touch with those,with like that more vulnerable
side of ourselves.
And we're really lucky thatwe're in a generation that's
doing that.
I think like, Relationship withmy mom has gotten to a very
(27:08):
healthy place and I haveforgiven her for a lot of
things.
And of course she's givenforgiven me because she is my
mother.
and she has learned to setboundaries, learn to take step
back, learn to understand me.
And I've learned to understandher and everything you're saying
that you want to forgive yourmom and you want to just see her
side more.
(27:30):
It is really hard to do thatwhen the other person doesn't
reciprocate.
And I think I only got so farwith my mom because she has been
very good at reciprocating thatsort of a respect and
willingness to grow.
Kristy Yee (27:46):
I do agree in some way that you need both parties
to be available, to have propercommunication, to do this work
of growth and, and eitherbuilding or fixing a
relationship.
But I also think thatforgiveness can come from one
(28:08):
side.
I can choose to forgive people,whether it's my mom or friends
or whomever on my own and on myown terms without having the
other person involved, becauseforgiveness means that I had
something I was holding on tosome sort of a grudge.
(28:30):
And it's, it's up to me to letthat grudge go.
When I'm at the beginning of themovie, the friends were like,
Hey, let's go.
Karaoke thing, blah, blah, blah.
And then millions like, oh, Ican't, you know, it's cleaning
day.
And the friends are like, oh,but it's cleaning day every day.
(28:51):
Now, if we played thestereotypical trope, mainland
would be very upset.
Right.
She would have wanted to go tokaraoke.
She would have been like, Ifucking hate chores.
Why does my mom force me to dothis?
I hate my mom.
I hate my life.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Right now I'm not saying shedoesn't have some of those
feelings because of course shewants to go karaoke with her
friends, but she also enjoyscleaning.
(29:13):
She's straight up, said it inthe movie.
She's like, but I like cleaning.
Angie Yu (29:16):
Yeah.
And she
Kristy Yee (29:17):
I like exactly.
She likes hanging out with hermom and she likes doing all
those things and, and the waythat they depicted it in the
movie, they're having fun.
Like.
You know, it's like such a, ateam work for them when they are
managing the temple together.
When they're cleaning together,when they're sharing stories,
when they're, you know, doingtheir customer service, like
it's none of that is yes, ofcourse it's work, but it's,
(29:41):
they're not doing itbegrudgingly.
Right?
Like they're, they're having agood time while doing that.
So, so I really loved that.
They, that, that's how they tellthe story of mainland.
And her mom is that they don'thave this like super strained
relationship where one hates theother and one dominates the
(30:03):
other.
No, it's, it's in some way, it'spretty healthy.
They high-fived each other atthe end of the temple tour.
And that was so sweet for mebecause I'm like, I would have,
my mom was not cool like thatshe would not have high-fived
me, you know?
And, and I thought that.
(30:27):
Really nice.
And it made us feel like, oh,any negative feelings mainland
may have about mom or just thenegative feelings about growing
up is very, is muted and in thebackground.
And I think that is so realisticbecause a lot of us, I don't
(30:49):
think we like hate our parents.
You know, we love them.
We do the things that we dobecause we love them.
But also like we're notoppressed by our parents is what
I'm trying to say.
Angie Yu (31:00):
Yeah, we're not, we're not oppressed.
Like they make us seem to be insome movies with the tiger mom
trope.
And they show a vulnerable sideto her, which they don't with,
like tiger mom, tropes and othermovies.
Kristy Yee (31:15):
And like mainly and enjoys math, right?
Like she's like having a goodtime doing her math homework,
you know, like, it's not like,oh, my mom forced me to do this.
And like, I got to be here.
Like, it just seems like that'spart of her life.
And I'm sure, you know, when,when we were in school, there's
going to be some subjects thatyou had truly enjoyed and maybe
(31:39):
they were viewed as like, like,oh, you're, you're trying to
achieve academically for yourparents.
But no, it's also because like,I, I enjoy school.
Angie Yu (31:52):
yeah,
Kristy Yee (31:52):
I enjoy doing these things.
I'm good at these things, youknow, like,
Angie Yu (31:56):
Yeah.
That was a, that was veryrelatable for me was one her
flute case.
Cause I played
Kristy Yee (32:01):
Oh my God.
Yes.
Angie Yu (32:05):
also I did really well in math and French.
That was very relatable.
Yeah.
Some was.
Kristy Yee (32:13):
Yeah, not relatable for me, although I did play the
clarinet,
Angie Yu (32:17):
Yeah, I know we were in band before you went to
choir.
You were at bandwidth for one Ione time.
Kristy Yee (32:25):
that is correct.
I was at band and at one point,yes.
Angie Yu (32:30):
Okay.
Anyway,
Kristy Yee (32:31):
that's, that's just like I wanted, I really wanted
to point that out that the, youknow, tiger mom trope was not
depicted in this movie and itshowed a way more realistic
relationship between a mom anddaughter.
Angie Yu (32:46):
yes.
Much more realistic for us, atleast I'm sure there are still
people, whose parents are, youknow, very trope ESC,
Kristy Yee (32:59):
Oh Yes.
I mean, they exist for a reason.
Angie Yu (33:03):
Yes, exactly.
The key takeaway here is thatthey gave.
the Chinese mom, a 3d character,sh you know, they gave her an
arc.
They gave her personality andshe is her own person.
The mom is her own person inthis movie.
Kristy Yee (33:24):
exactly.
And, and we had kind of talkedabout that earlier, too.
Where at this movie?
Yes, of course.
It's centered around Malin.
She's a protagonist.
She goes through this likegrowth and change and then
acceptance afterwards.
But soda's mom, mom also wentthrough a stage of growth and
change and acceptance at the endof the movie.
Angie Yu (33:46):
one other thing that I just got reminded me of that I
really liked is that there wereno cheesy love story or love
Kristy Yee (33:55):
Oh, yes.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Let's just
Angie Yu (33:59):
just
Kristy Yee (33:59):
around of applause.
Angie Yu (34:01):
everything is about boys.
Okay.
Like when we were that age.
Yes.
A lot of things were about boys,but not everything was about
boys.
Kristy Yee (34:07):
Okay.
Here's the thing like, I, what Ireally liked is the way that
they did represent boys,because, you know, she was like
obsessed with that guy from theDaisy Mart, Devin.
And then later in school, shesees this other kid, right.
And he like flips his hair andshe's all like Google Gaga on
it.
(34:27):
And, and I think just that,where she switches so quickly,
it's like, when you're goingthrough puberty, you're going to
notice boys.
And you're going to notice a lotof boys and you're going to
Angie Yu (34:40):
boys, you don't have so many crushes and your crush
is going to change every threemonths.
Like it's going to, your crusheris going to think to the moon
cycle, you know,
Kristy Yee (34:49):
And I think that I love that.
That's how they, had boys in themovie and they didn't develop
any romantic story at all.
And the only time that boys showup is how she notices different
boys at different times, but soquickly, because that's what
happens when you go throughpuberty, you notice these things
(35:11):
and you feel a lot of things.
And like you said, there's allthese crushes and a lot of, a
lot of emotions.
And then you have like sexythoughts, but then you're 13,
but you have sexy thoughtsanyways.
And I love that.
She actually said that like, mayLynn, she said the word sexy
thoughts.
And, and she was like, huh, likewhy, why am I having me?
Angie Yu (35:36):
Yeah, I don't want to have them.
Yeah.
She thought it was like adisease.
Kristy Yee (35:40):
And then, you know, When she was drawing at one
point, she was drawing all thesepictures of Devin.
She just like allowed herself tosee what's going to happen.
So she allowed herself toexplore this new side of her.
And how was that?
Is just that's puberty.
she's happening to me, what thefuck's going on.
And then she gets to learn fromthat.
(36:01):
Right.
Angie Yu (36:01):
Yeah.
And also the other guy thatended up being their friend that
was kind of bullying, Malin orpicking on her, I was like,
please don't let him turn into alove interest.
And he didn't.
And I was like, yes, thank God.
Because that's also such a tropeto, you know, like, just cause
like he bullied you a bitdoesn't mean that something has
to bloom from it.
(36:22):
And it's probably not veryhealthy, you
Kristy Yee (36:24):
exactly.
It probably shouldn't be datingall your bullies.
Angie Yu (36:27):
yeah.
that's the thing, though.
It has been such a big trope,oh, like you're off to a rough
start, but then you end upfalling in love and that's just
not healthy, you know?
Yeah,
Kristy Yee (36:36):
no, I love that.
I love that he actually becameone of the girlfriends and he
became, a fellow for townie, youknow?
Angie Yu (36:45):
Yes.
That was one other thing that Ithink they did a really good
job.
Even though it's not my favoritemovie it's a movie that I can
really, really appreciate.
Kristy Yee (36:57):
Yeah.
And I think you don't, you don'thave to be a Chinese Canadian to
appreciate this movie.
You don't even have to be Asianto appreciate this movie, right?
Because intergenerational traumais everywhere.
Like there's no racialboundaries to that.
Growing up, going throughpuberty.
is no racial boundaries to that.
(37:18):
so I think, you know, all these,all these things will make the
movie really relatable I couldprobably talk about this a lot,
a lot more, but I, I won't, but,listeners, if you enjoy turning
red, as much as either of usdid, but especially as much as I
(37:39):
did.
I want to read, a few quotesfrom the movie that I thought.
Pretty meaningful.
Angie Yu (37:46):
okay,
Kristy Yee (37:47):
house.
the first one, which is at thebeginning of the movie, Malin
says, I'm finally figuring outwho I am, but I'm scared it's
taking me away from you.
And she's talking, she'sspeaking specifically about her
mom, which again, like we weresaying is part of that, being
scared of change, being scaredof growth.
(38:09):
And when the movie opened withthat, I'm like, yep.
I'm going to like this one.
I don't know where this one camefrom, but it goes, we all have a
messy, weird.
But a lot of us don't let itcome out.
Angie Yu (38:24):
I remember that quote.
Kristy Yee (38:27):
I think it actually represents a lot about what we
do on this podcast is, is beingvulnerable and allowing
ourselves to feel all sides ofus and giving ourselves the
space to have negative emotions,negative thoughts, and, you
know, and process things,process trauma, be
(38:50):
uncomfortable, all these likethings that are typically
represented as icky or yuckythat we try to hide away or even
just the weird parts of us.
don't want to show other peoplebecause we're afraid to be
judged in our podcast.
We want to embrace all of thosesides and we want to welcome all
(39:12):
of these uncomfortable feelingsbecause only then can we truly
feel comfortable about who weare and our own skin.
And so that quote reallysolidified the idea that this
movie is a giant shit we don'ttell mom episode.
Angie Yu (39:27):
I remember you saying that to me.
And I was like, oh my God.
Yeah, totally.
Cause that's, that's what we'rehere to try to do.
Right.
Talk about these things andimprove the overall collective
mental health of our community,which is what I think that this
movie has contributed to hasreally, really given, like a big
(39:49):
platform to the fact that like,Hey, like there are people like
us that are struggling with thistype of stuff.
We're not just your typicalimmigrant, you know, those
Asians over there.
Like we have our own storiestoo.
And I really happy that it'sgetting a bigger audience
(40:09):
because a lot of kids are gonnawatch this and they're probably
not going to be just Chinesekids.
And then their parents whoprobably never would have
watched a movie out of theircomfort zone, like this would
watch it too.
Kristy Yee (40:21):
We had such a, emotional and We had such a
reaction to this movie, I thinknot just as quote unquote kids,
but I think any parent wouldalso be able to have a reaction
for the mom and have thecompassion and empathy and
(40:42):
understanding of where the mom'scoming from as well.
out of my 5,000 quotes, I willend with one that was similar to
the second one because let's,let's be all feel good.
See about this.
And this one actually came fromthe dad and the dad said.
(41:02):
The dad said, people have allkinds of sides to them and some
are messy.
The point is not to push itaway.
Angie Yu (41:11):
Yeah, I really love that quote.
And I just loved that.
He showed the video to Malin waslike, like, I like this version
of you.
You're funny.
And that, that level ofacceptance shows a lot of love
from her dad.
So all, all, you know, just alot of good feelings
Kristy Yee (41:33):
so basically the takeaway from this episode is go
watch turning red if you haven'talready.
But I really, truly hope you,you already did, because by the
end of this episode, we justruined everything for you.
Angie Yu (41:48):
Oh yeah.
That's true.
They listen to this.
They we're like, we just toldthem everything in the movie,
but go watch.
But
Kristy Yee (41:56):
but I hope everybody who has listened all the way to
the end already did watch it.
And I hope, you know, you would,keep supporting the movie by
watching it again, because weneed to continue to have these
stories being told.
Right.
And not just, not just becauseof the Asian representation,
although that felt really goodbecause Angie and I are Chinese
and we're from Canada and thisstory speaks about a Chinese
(42:18):
Canadian girl, but also likejust, it's more demand for
different stories that wehaven't, that we didn't grow up
with.
Right.
No matter what, race or religionor sexuality or whatever,
whatever time period as well,like we need to have more
stories that weren't told asmuch.
Angie Yu (42:38):
yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Kristy Yee (42:41):
And that's it for season three.
Angie Yu (42:43):
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
That's it for season three.
we hope you enjoyed the seasonand as always send us a
Instagram message or an email,or leave us an audio message.
You can check that out on ourwebsite and we'd love to hear
what you would like to hear moreof in season four.
Kristy Yee (43:06):
also Spotify.
You can now rate podcasts, whichis awesome.
So if you're listening onSpotify right now, and we're
approaching the end of theepisode, just open your app and
click, whatever number of starsyou choose to give us.
And if you're listening on applepodcast, you can also go ahead
(43:26):
and open up your app and give uswhatever amount of stars you
would like to give us.
Because that we are told reallyhelps spread our show to more
people.
And if you like what we have tosay, and if you enjoy and
appreciate the work that we putinto this podcast, then please
(43:46):
rate us on your podcastplatforms.
And we will see you in seasonfour.
Angie Yu (43:53):
Bye.
Kristy Yee (43:53):
See you, like they can see us.
Angie Yu (43:57):
We'll see you metaphorically in
Kristy Yee (44:00):
We will be in your ears in season four.
(44:36):
Somebody bind you.
Angie Yu (44:40):
Oh, oh my God.
You scared me.
Okay.
It's just Evie.
holy fuck.
That entire one and a half moviewas one giant episode of shit we
don't tell mom.
Angie Yu (00:07):
Yeah, because there was a lot of things that she
didn't tell her mom, and then itpiled on and on and on and on,
and then exploded.
(00:41):
Welcome back to another episodeof shit.
We don't tell mom this.
Kristy Yee (00:44):
this is Christie
Angie Yu (00:46):
And today is our season three finale.
And we're going to be talkingabout the movie that just came
well, we're not going to be justtalking about the movie, but
we're going to talk about sometopics that are very important
to us that were covered in themovie, turning red and Chrissy.
And I both watched the movielast week.
(01:08):
we actually accidentally noteven, we serendipitously watched
it on the same night withouteven knowing, like, without
knowing in advance.
I only found out when I loggedonto our Instagram to post
something about it on the storyand saw that Christie had
already posted something.
And I was like, oh my God.
So I messaged, her right away.
(01:28):
I'm like, oh my God, are youwatching this?
I'm watching it too.
I'm going to tell you so manyopinions after.
Kristy Yee (01:33):
C R wavelengths are still riding in the same
frequency, even though we are inthree hour time zone differences
apart.
Angie Yu (01:41):
Yes.
Yes, we are vibrating at thesame gigahertz.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway.
so what were your thoughts aboutthe movie?
How did you feel during themovie?
How did you feel after themovie?
How do you feel now?
Kristy Yee (01:58):
okay.
Before the movie even started,like before the turning.
Oh, by the way, listeners majorspoiler alert from here on now.
So if you have, so you have notwatched the movie come back to
this episode after you havewatched the movie turning red.
(02:22):
Okay.
Spoilers begin.
So even before the, the scenewhere it says turning red, you
know, where like the title comeson, right?
Yeah.
Like the one minute before thatI was already grinning like
crazy, just plastered on myface.
(02:42):
And from that moment, it juststayed on for the entire one and
a half hours.
So that was my foundational.
Or your motion was just likethis massive grin on my face.
And then throughout the movie,during all the different scenes
and, and all of the, you know,different story climaxes, I
(03:03):
would either be laughing withthe grin on my face or crying,
like bawling, like, like I'mtalking real ball with, with
snot and sticky stuff coming outof all sorts of my facial parts.
Angie Yu (03:21):
that's so gross and so sweet at the same time.
Kristy Yee (03:24):
And then, but I still could not stop smiling
because of all the thousand andone Easter eggs that have been
placed in this movie.
And every single one of themmade me smile.
I've categorized them into threedifferent parts.
One is the nostalgia.
So the 2002 early two thousandsera, then there's the Asian
(03:46):
representation.
And then.
The Canadian culture and everytime I see any one of those
three, and oftentimes it'd belike every single fucking scene
on this storyboard, I would, Iwould just grin at the
representation and just grin atthe familiarity of it, you know?
(04:09):
And that's why I kept smilingthroughout the entire movie.
How did I feel afterwards?
very emotional nostalgia aside.
I think there was a lot ofthemes that we can relate to and
we can touch more on that laterin this episode.
but it, it made me feel, it mademe feel.
(04:31):
So few episodes ago in thisseason, sometimes during the
season we had an episode onhanging out with our inner
child.
And not only did it feel like Iwas hanging out with her while I
was watching this movie, it mademe feel like she was crying and
I was giving her a hug.
(04:54):
Like she was hurt.
She was in a place where she wasreally hurt and had a lot of
pain.
And there was someone there tohold her that.
And I think a lot of the painrepresented in the movie without
(05:18):
making it feel like this movieis, you know, very sad and
depressing because it is totallynot, but it has touched on
themes that will bring up someof these emotions.
And I think part of that is thescariness.
When you transition from being akid to feeling like you're
(05:44):
becoming an adult and like themovie set, there's a lot of
growing pains that come withthat.
And I think, I think back towhen I was going through those
growing pains, it didn't feellike I had a lot of support.
Maybe I did, but I just didn'trecognize.
So I felt lonely.
And so now when I watched thismovie and I see some of these
(06:05):
themes come up and, and they'rebeing represented on TV with
someone that looks like me,except the red hair part, it, it
felt like I'm allowing myself torevisit that part of my past and
then allowing myself to feelcomforted.
(06:25):
Even though I felt so alone atthat time when it happened,
Angie Yu (06:28):
yeah, it's a very complex relationship with the
movie that cannot be, cannot benarrowed down to a couple of
emotions based on.
For me, prior to watching themovie, I saw, you know, there
was that, male, white moviereviewer or whatever, where on
Twitter, he said that the movie,unlike other Pixar movies, this
(06:52):
one was very difficult torelate, unless you're a part of
a very specific, narrow slice ofsociety or something like that.
And I was like, ah, excuse me.
so like with that in mind, itset up the expectation that
there were going to be a lot ofspecificity.
Fuck it.
It gets specificity.
(07:16):
it gave me the idea that therewould be a lot of specific
things in the movie and like itmet.
So that really met and exceededmy expectations.
So many things that made me go,oh yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Like, you know, those momentsyou know, we can't talk about
this movie without talking aboutrepresentation without even
(07:38):
mentioning the wordrepresentation.
So like yes, that made me feelsuper represented.
I will say that the part for methat was not as relatable for
me.
Was when it was about 2002.
And when I was mailings age, Iwas still kind of getting used
to life in Canada.
So a lot of things that were inthe movie I never had, so I
never had a Tamagotchi.
(08:00):
I don't think I had Tim HortonTimbits until university.
there was just all these otherthings that I didn't really
experience when I was that age,which doesn't mean that it makes
any bad because you know, I'mnot this like white male movie
reviewer, that's narrow minded.
Like, it's so great for me tosee, but on a personal level, it
wasn't as relatable for me.
I also never listened to boybands.
(08:21):
I never went to a concert.
I also didn't really have thatmany friends, but watching the
movie almost helped me relivethat part.
It made me feel like included.
Kristy Yee (08:35):
Mm.
Angie Yu (08:37):
Like they were my friends, like Miglin and her
friends were my.
Kristy Yee (08:41):
Hmm.
Angie Yu (08:42):
And I didn't have friends like that until I got
older.
Kristy Yee (08:47):
So it's interesting because in both of our versions,
we somehow went back to our ownchildhood and.
Basically like relived minebecause I did have a Tamagotchi.
I, I am still very into boybands, like that has not grown
(09:07):
out of the, I still live in theearly two thousands.
I attended my first concert everin 2003.
So basically Malin.
Angie Yu (09:21):
you
Kristy Yee (09:22):
I was 13.
I was 13, 2003 attended my firstconcert saved some money, went
to this event without anyparents felt like a grownup, you
know?
And That would have.
Angie Yu (09:33):
must mean so much to you.
Like it has so many parallelswith your own life and you're
living in Toronto right now.
Kristy Yee (09:39):
I know exactly.
Okay.
So here's the thing like Malin,there's this entire movie.
Okay.
You're not gonna, you're notgonna relate a hundred percent.
That's like not possible.
I mean, it is possible, but it'shighly unlikely that you're
going to be able to feel everysingle thing that happened and
relate to every single detail,right.
Because that's mainland's life.
(10:00):
And then Angie, this is yourlife.
I'm going to give this a critic.
Like, I don't know, two minutesof our time.
And then I don't want to talkabout him anymore because he
does not deserve space on ourplatform right now.
Angie Yu (10:14):
That's true.
Kristy Yee (10:15):
But I just want to say how fucking, like
Angie Yu (10:18):
rude.
How rude
Kristy Yee (10:23):
how privilege it is for this person to feel like
every single movie they need torelate to and how threatened.
They feel that when the momentsomebody else takes the big
screen and they don't relate toit, they feel like that
shouldn't be on their screen.
Angie Yu (10:45):
Yeah.
And that's exactly why it wassuch a problematic tweet and
that's exactly what, everybodyon the internet was just like,
fuck you, dude.
Kristy Yee (10:51):
it goes without saying that he feels definitely
threatened.
And the fact that if you, youknow, what, I don't even, I
don't even want to go into
Angie Yu (11:05):
yeah.
Let's not even go to it.
Loo it, we, yeah, that's acompletely, we're here to focus
on us.
Not, not this, you know, bozo,
Kristy Yee (11:16):
going back to the movie.
Yeah.
I felt super heard andvalidated, and I feel like we
should drink every time we saythe word relate
Angie Yu (11:25):
relate representation.
Nostalgia.
Kristy Yee (11:30):
it's going to come up like 5,000 times in this
episode.
and yes, all, all those Eastereggs about Toronto.
I now live in Toronto.
If I had watched this movie inVancouver, I think I would have
still loved it a lot, but maybelike 0.5% less excited than I am
now because I see streets that Irecognize.
(11:52):
Like, I look at Chinatown, I'mlike, that's fucking Spadina,
you know?
And then she's running down thealleyway.
I'm like, that looks likeKensington market, you know?
And, and it's like, Daisy Martis a real.
Angie Yu (12:05):
Oh, really?
I
Kristy Yee (12:07):
It's not made up.
That shit is real.
That's the convenience store.
It's all over in Toronto.
So it's, you know, these little,little things, right.
And Skydome is actually calledSkydome.
Like it's still part of thetrunk, Toronto culture, trunk,
Toronto, Tony, and you knowwhat, I'm not going to try.
Angie Yu (12:24):
specificity.
Oh my God.
I actually said it right thattime.
Kristy Yee (12:28):
What I really, really tugged at my heartstrings
is the Cantonese that was in themovie, not just the chanting,
but like the Cantonese speaking.
You'll see it in random places.
Like when they're watching TV,when Malin and her mom
Angie Yu (12:45):
oh yeah.
Watching the Chinese television.
Yes.
Kristy Yee (12:49):
Yeah.
And there were watching likethe, the ancient, dramas, which
is exactly what I, yes, theperiod dramas on my fucking art.
I, I, I would binge that shit,you know, and I, I used to watch
it on cable.
People watch things on cable andhearing Cantonese being spoken.
(13:10):
That was really special to mebecause I think at least for me,
it feels like a lot of timeswhen Chinese culture is being
represented it a lot of timesit's a Mandarin.
So when I heard Cantonese, whenshe's running down Spadina
avenue in Chinatown, and you canhear people in the background,
(13:31):
speaking Chinese, you can hearthe Cantonese on the TV show.
You can hear the grandma'ssaying, say sailor or something
like that.
S I, why I'm pointing.
She's like sailor.
And what I also love is when.
I like to actually watch movieswith subtitles on, so I'm I'm
team subtitles and every timethey spoke in Cantonese, they
(13:54):
would not translate that in thesubtitles.
It will just say bracket IX,speaking Cantonese, which I
really appreciated because Idon't know if you've seen the
west side story.
It's a musical.
Okay.
So I know we're talking aboutturning red, but in the west
side story, like twenty-fivepercent of the movie is in
(14:16):
Spanish and they do not putsubtitles when they are speaking
in Spanish.
And the reason for that isbecause the director does not
want to like elevate English,like the language as something,
you know, more superior, right?
It's like, if you understandSpanish, great, if you don't,
well, they're speaking Spanish,that's it.
(14:37):
And I felt like I don't knowwhat the intention was, but when
I saw that all of the Cantonesethat was spoken in the movie
was.
Subtitled or translated at thebottom.
It just felt like an extra, youknow, oh, here's, here's a
little something, something forall you Cantonese speakers out
there.
Angie Yu (14:57):
yeah, actually you're right now that I think about,
I'm trying to think of a moviein recent times where they spoke
Cantonese instead of Mandarin.
I can't really think of any likecrazy rich, Asian they spoke
Mandarin of course, because itwas Singapore.
And then, In farewell thathappened in China.
So that's actually, I doappreciate that Domi did that
(15:17):
because she is from China andnot she's from a Mandarin
speaking part of China fromactually.
So taking a step back fromtalking about representation,
the intergenerational trauma wasvery, parent and.
Important.
I'm really glad that that wasreally highlighted.
(15:38):
and it was, it was, it was atheme that I think anybody,
maybe not anybody, but I think alot of people can relate to and
also identify right away.
Cause I think that interracial,interracial intergenerational
trauma in other movies areprobably not as, front and
(15:58):
forward.
It's usually like at the back ofthe plot, but I think this was
like, this was like the apply,you know, like the, the, every
generation of women in thefamily turns into a red Panda.
Like that's very generational,right?
So it was like very front andcenter in the movies plot.
whereas in most other moviesit's kind of in the background,
(16:19):
like off the top of my head,crazy rich Asian Kung Fu Panda.
Kristy Yee (16:23):
Shout out to Encanto.
What were some points that youfelt like the intergenerational
trauma was represented well inthe movie and whisper was maybe.
Represented not as well.
Angie Yu (16:40):
For me personally, the part that was like just right
nail on the head kind of kind ofa moment was when the mom was
like, how could she do this tome?
Kristy Yee (16:50):
Um,
Angie Yu (16:51):
was the most relatable because my mom has said that
before.
And she has expressed sentimentsin that regard before she
understood what it's like to notput your own happiness on your
kid.
(17:11):
Like she's an only child.
her parents she's like thecenter of her parents' world and
she has to be this perfect kidand do well with everything
because you know, her parentssacrifice so much for her and
she's trying to uphold thatexpectation and trying to
deliver.
But of course she strugglesbecause that's not who she
really is.
And that was really relatablefor me.
(17:31):
and I think the representationof Chinese fathers, because
Mailyn's dad was, he was there,but he kind of played a side
kick role to the mom.
And that was very relatable tome too.
I'm not sure about other peoplebecause I know how I know I have
(17:52):
friends whose, whose, dadsplayed more the primary parent
figure.
So in this case, like, it's notlike when we watch movies based
on.
Like white people's lives, wherethe parents are very, like,
they're like both reading a bookto their child at the same time,
which is like, how many familiesChinese were not, does that
(18:14):
happen to you?
Right.
so for me that was relatable.
Like the one parent reallytaking on all the
responsibility, because I don'tthink it's because she doesn't
trust her husband or that she'sbossy.
I think she expects that that'sher role as a mother and that's
(18:35):
expected of her and to be aperfect mother, you have to be
like good.
They could pick up thehelicopter while your kid
Kristy Yee (18:43):
I think you touched a really great point here
because it's not just aboutMalin and her growth, but
there's actually a lot of growthfrom the mother as well.
I think there's this one scenetowards the end of the movie
when Malin and her mom and allthe aunties and grandma went to
this other dimension
Angie Yu (19:05):
the spirit world.
Kristy Yee (19:06):
yeah, exactly.
And they're about to, splittheir Panda and their human
self.
And mainland finds her mom as akid feeling super stressed out
saying the same words that Malinhad said, feeling all that
pressure of trying to be perfectand feeling like she can never
(19:29):
live up to her mother'sexpectations.
And clearly that, that was acyclical moment for Malin too,
to even witness.
Can you imagine meeting your 13year old version of.
Angie Yu (19:50):
like, I've heard stories.
So I kind of have an idea, butno, I cannot even imagine like
10% of what it was like for her
Kristy Yee (20:00):
and like it, you know, this is all hypothetical
unless we have time Turners, butjust for a moment, imagine what
that would be like.
And that amount of empathy andcompassion that you will feel
after that encounter.
With 13 year old mom, we hear itfrom our parents all the time.
(20:23):
Like, I've been young ones, I'vebeen in your shoes, blah, blah,
blah.
But when you hear that, usuallyit's like, you know, part of
some argument and every time Ihave one those conversations
with my mom, I, my first thoughtis, well, that was a different
generation.
Like you were in the other sideof the world and no standards
were different.
Expectations were different, etcetera, et cetera.
(20:44):
So I'm like, You cannot say, youcannot say you understand me
because we we're, we've grown upin different places.
And so basically everything thatshe said would, would turn into
shit, right?
Like there's zero credibility.
When she says she relates to howI feel when I was 13.
So seeing that scene play outactually made me feel a little
(21:10):
bit more forgiving to my mumbecause I'm sure she had a fuck
ton of pressures as well.
And I think about my, my mom'sstory and I don't want to go too
much into it because that's herstory, but she lives.
Majority of her youth all theway up into early twenties.
(21:31):
Nope.
Lie all the way up into her,late thirties, doing all the
things that her mom wanted herto do.
So my, what my grandma wantedfor her.
So she lived her life for mygrandma.
And, and I know it's becausegrandma wanted the best for her,
blah, blah, blah.
And then my mom probablyunknowingly picked up a lot of
(21:56):
these teaching methods andstarted to expect the same from
me.
And then I would feel I wouldhold a lot of grudge against
that, especially because I grewup in a different world and I
see things a little, I seethings differently.
And the movie reminded me thatthere are things that I still
(22:23):
need to forgive.
My mom.
Angie Yu (22:26):
oh, I think that's exactly why I was like, what I'm
hoping that this movie will doslash is doing for a lot of,
Mother daughter relationshipsbecause it as kids, we always
underestimate our parents, wealways do.
Art podcast name is to underestimate and undermine our
(22:48):
parents.
But obviously, you know, thelisteners, like if this is the
only episode you've heard of,like, please go and listen to
our other episodes because werespect our parents a lot.
And, it's a reverse psychologynow what I mean now?
I mean,
Kristy Yee (23:03):
Wait, wait to plug some episodes in there.
Angie Yu (23:05):
yeah.
Kristy Yee (24:07):
Okay.
This movie though, I have tosay, after I finished watching
the movie, of course, I'm likegiddy.
I'm still, you know, bump intofour town music.
I've already downloading it onSpotify.
But my first thought was, holyfuck.
That entire one and a half moviewas one giant episode of shit.
We don't tell mom.
Angie Yu (24:29):
Yeah, because there was a lot of things that she
didn't tell her mom, and then itpiled on and on and on and on,
and then exploded.
Kristy Yee (24:40):
And then it talked about, you know, communication
and forgiveness andunderstanding and growth.
And sometimes.
Not sometimes in life, we moveon, we change and we need to
accept that change as part ofour growth.
And then how do we manage thesechanges within our relationship?
And I think that was beautifullydone because at the end it
(25:01):
wasn't, it was like, there wassome flavors of bittersweetness
because both mom and MeiLinstill treasure, the times that
they had together beforemainland, you know, grew up, but
(25:22):
also allowing MeiLin to grow upand knowing that those memories
that they have together, that'salways going to be there.
It's always going to betreasured, but moving forward,
it's not going to be the sameroutine anymore.
And then accepting that,accepting that.
(25:44):
So it's like a bittersweetmoment and no matter, I think
where you are in terms of yourrelationship with your mom,
there's, there's always going tobe some level of change that had
happened throughout the years.
Like that's inevitable, right?
People grow up and yourrelationship is not going to be
the same forever.
(26:04):
And some people try to hold onto what it was, but you can't,
and the more you try to holdonto it, the more it kind of
backfires on you.
And so really it's almost astory of letting go and
accepting as well.
Angie Yu (26:25):
and now I just want to go and hug my mom.
Hmm.
I will say that like this moviehas also made me feel very lucky
in some regard as well.
Well, I mean, yes, it has mademe feel very lucky because on
one side, there's just so muchwholesomeness in our community,
(26:46):
you know, like in the wholeAsian American, community, just
everyone is just wanting to.
Really get in touch with those,with like that more vulnerable
side of ourselves.
And we're really lucky thatwe're in a generation that's
doing that.
I think like, Relationship withmy mom has gotten to a very
(27:08):
healthy place and I haveforgiven her for a lot of
things.
And of course she's givenforgiven me because she is my
mother.
and she has learned to setboundaries, learn to take step
back, learn to understand me.
And I've learned to understandher and everything you're saying
that you want to forgive yourmom and you want to just see her
side more.
(27:30):
It is really hard to do thatwhen the other person doesn't
reciprocate.
And I think I only got so farwith my mom because she has been
very good at reciprocating thatsort of a respect and
willingness to grow.
Kristy Yee (27:46):
I do agree in some way that you need both parties
to be available, to have propercommunication, to do this work
of growth and, and eitherbuilding or fixing a
relationship.
But I also think thatforgiveness can come from one
(28:08):
side.
I can choose to forgive people,whether it's my mom or friends
or whomever on my own and on myown terms without having the
other person involved, becauseforgiveness means that I had
something I was holding on tosome sort of a grudge.
(28:30):
And it's, it's up to me to letthat grudge go.
When I'm at the beginning of themovie, the friends were like,
Hey, let's go.
Karaoke thing, blah, blah, blah.
And then millions like, oh, Ican't, you know, it's cleaning
day.
And the friends are like, oh,but it's cleaning day every day.
(28:51):
Now, if we played thestereotypical trope, mainland
would be very upset.
Right.
She would have wanted to go tokaraoke.
She would have been like, Ifucking hate chores.
Why does my mom force me to dothis?
I hate my mom.
I hate my life.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Right now I'm not saying shedoesn't have some of those
feelings because of course shewants to go karaoke with her
friends, but she also enjoyscleaning.
(29:13):
She's straight up, said it inthe movie.
She's like, but I like cleaning.
Angie Yu (29:16):
Yeah.
And she
Kristy Yee (29:17):
I like exactly.
She likes hanging out with hermom and she likes doing all
those things and, and the waythat they depicted it in the
movie, they're having fun.
Like.
You know, it's like such a, ateam work for them when they are
managing the temple together.
When they're cleaning together,when they're sharing stories,
when they're, you know, doingtheir customer service, like
it's none of that is yes, ofcourse it's work, but it's,
(29:41):
they're not doing itbegrudgingly.
Right?
Like they're, they're having agood time while doing that.
So, so I really loved that.
They, that, that's how they tellthe story of mainland.
And her mom is that they don'thave this like super strained
relationship where one hates theother and one dominates the
(30:03):
other.
No, it's, it's in some way, it'spretty healthy.
They high-fived each other atthe end of the temple tour.
And that was so sweet for mebecause I'm like, I would have,
my mom was not cool like thatshe would not have high-fived
me, you know?
And, and I thought that.
(30:27):
Really nice.
And it made us feel like, oh,any negative feelings mainland
may have about mom or just thenegative feelings about growing
up is very, is muted and in thebackground.
And I think that is so realisticbecause a lot of us, I don't
(30:49):
think we like hate our parents.
You know, we love them.
We do the things that we dobecause we love them.
But also like we're notoppressed by our parents is what
I'm trying to say.
Angie Yu (31:00):
Yeah, we're not, we're not oppressed.
Like they make us seem to be insome movies with the tiger mom
trope.
And they show a vulnerable sideto her, which they don't with,
like tiger mom, tropes and othermovies.
Kristy Yee (31:15):
And like mainly and enjoys math, right?
Like she's like having a goodtime doing her math homework,
you know, like, it's not like,oh, my mom forced me to do this.
And like, I got to be here.
Like, it just seems like that'spart of her life.
And I'm sure, you know, when,when we were in school, there's
going to be some subjects thatyou had truly enjoyed and maybe
(31:39):
they were viewed as like, like,oh, you're, you're trying to
achieve academically for yourparents.
But no, it's also because like,I, I enjoy school.
Angie Yu (31:52):
yeah,
Kristy Yee (31:52):
I enjoy doing these things.
I'm good at these things, youknow, like,
Angie Yu (31:56):
Yeah.
That was a, that was veryrelatable for me was one her
flute case.
Cause I played
Kristy Yee (32:01):
Oh my God.
Yes.
Angie Yu (32:05):
also I did really well in math and French.
That was very relatable.
Yeah.
Some was.
Kristy Yee (32:13):
Yeah, not relatable for me, although I did play the
clarinet,
Angie Yu (32:17):
Yeah, I know we were in band before you went to
choir.
You were at bandwidth for one Ione time.
Kristy Yee (32:25):
that is correct.
I was at band and at one point,yes.
Angie Yu (32:30):
Okay.
Anyway,
Kristy Yee (32:31):
that's, that's just like I wanted, I really wanted
to point that out that the, youknow, tiger mom trope was not
depicted in this movie and itshowed a way more realistic
relationship between a mom anddaughter.
Angie Yu (32:46):
yes.
Much more realistic for us, atleast I'm sure there are still
people, whose parents are, youknow, very trope ESC,
Kristy Yee (32:59):
Oh Yes.
I mean, they exist for a reason.
Angie Yu (33:03):
Yes, exactly.
The key takeaway here is thatthey gave.
the Chinese mom, a 3d character,sh you know, they gave her an
arc.
They gave her personality andshe is her own person.
The mom is her own person inthis movie.
Kristy Yee (33:24):
exactly.
And, and we had kind of talkedabout that earlier, too.
Where at this movie?
Yes, of course.
It's centered around Malin.
She's a protagonist.
She goes through this likegrowth and change and then
acceptance afterwards.
But soda's mom, mom also wentthrough a stage of growth and
change and acceptance at the endof the movie.
Angie Yu (33:46):
one other thing that I just got reminded me of that I
really liked is that there wereno cheesy love story or love
Kristy Yee (33:55):
Oh, yes.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Let's just
Angie Yu (33:59):
just
Kristy Yee (33:59):
around of applause.
Angie Yu (34:01):
everything is about boys.
Okay.
Like when we were that age.
Yes.
A lot of things were about boys,but not everything was about
boys.
Kristy Yee (34:07):
Okay.
Here's the thing like, I, what Ireally liked is the way that
they did represent boys,because, you know, she was like
obsessed with that guy from theDaisy Mart, Devin.
And then later in school, shesees this other kid, right.
And he like flips his hair andshe's all like Google Gaga on
it.
(34:27):
And, and I think just that,where she switches so quickly,
it's like, when you're goingthrough puberty, you're going to
notice boys.
And you're going to notice a lotof boys and you're going to
Angie Yu (34:40):
boys, you don't have so many crushes and your crush
is going to change every threemonths.
Like it's going to, your crusheris going to think to the moon
cycle, you know,
Kristy Yee (34:49):
And I think that I love that.
That's how they, had boys in themovie and they didn't develop
any romantic story at all.
And the only time that boys showup is how she notices different
boys at different times, but soquickly, because that's what
happens when you go throughpuberty, you notice these things
(35:11):
and you feel a lot of things.
And like you said, there's allthese crushes and a lot of, a
lot of emotions.
And then you have like sexythoughts, but then you're 13,
but you have sexy thoughtsanyways.
And I love that.
She actually said that like, mayLynn, she said the word sexy
thoughts.
And, and she was like, huh, likewhy, why am I having me?
Angie Yu (35:36):
Yeah, I don't want to have them.
Yeah.
She thought it was like adisease.
Kristy Yee (35:40):
And then, you know, When she was drawing at one
point, she was drawing all thesepictures of Devin.
She just like allowed herself tosee what's going to happen.
So she allowed herself toexplore this new side of her.
And how was that?
Is just that's puberty.
she's happening to me, what thefuck's going on.
And then she gets to learn fromthat.
(36:01):
Right.
Angie Yu (36:01):
Yeah.
And also the other guy thatended up being their friend that
was kind of bullying, Malin orpicking on her, I was like,
please don't let him turn into alove interest.
And he didn't.
And I was like, yes, thank God.
Because that's also such a tropeto, you know, like, just cause
like he bullied you a bitdoesn't mean that something has
to bloom from it.
(36:22):
And it's probably not veryhealthy, you
Kristy Yee (36:24):
exactly.
It probably shouldn't be datingall your bullies.
Angie Yu (36:27):
yeah.
that's the thing, though.
It has been such a big trope,oh, like you're off to a rough
start, but then you end upfalling in love and that's just
not healthy, you know?
Yeah,
Kristy Yee (36:36):
no, I love that.
I love that he actually becameone of the girlfriends and he
became, a fellow for townie, youknow?
Angie Yu (36:45):
Yes.
That was one other thing that Ithink they did a really good
job.
Even though it's not my favoritemovie it's a movie that I can
really, really appreciate.
Kristy Yee (36:57):
Yeah.
And I think you don't, you don'thave to be a Chinese Canadian to
appreciate this movie.
You don't even have to be Asianto appreciate this movie, right?
Because intergenerational traumais everywhere.
Like there's no racialboundaries to that.
Growing up, going throughpuberty.
is no racial boundaries to that.
(37:18):
so I think, you know, all these,all these things will make the
movie really relatable I couldprobably talk about this a lot,
a lot more, but I, I won't, but,listeners, if you enjoy turning
red, as much as either of usdid, but especially as much as I
(37:39):
did.
I want to read, a few quotesfrom the movie that I thought.
Pretty meaningful.
Angie Yu (37:46):
okay,
Kristy Yee (37:47):
house.
the first one, which is at thebeginning of the movie, Malin
says, I'm finally figuring outwho I am, but I'm scared it's
taking me away from you.
And she's talking, she'sspeaking specifically about her
mom, which again, like we weresaying is part of that, being
scared of change, being scaredof growth.
(38:09):
And when the movie opened withthat, I'm like, yep.
I'm going to like this one.
I don't know where this one camefrom, but it goes, we all have a
messy, weird.
But a lot of us don't let itcome out.
Angie Yu (38:24):
I remember that quote.
Kristy Yee (38:27):
I think it actually represents a lot about what we
do on this podcast is, is beingvulnerable and allowing
ourselves to feel all sides ofus and giving ourselves the
space to have negative emotions,negative thoughts, and, you
know, and process things,process trauma, be
(38:50):
uncomfortable, all these likethings that are typically
represented as icky or yuckythat we try to hide away or even
just the weird parts of us.
don't want to show other peoplebecause we're afraid to be
judged in our podcast.
We want to embrace all of thosesides and we want to welcome all
(39:12):
of these uncomfortable feelingsbecause only then can we truly
feel comfortable about who weare and our own skin.
And so that quote reallysolidified the idea that this
movie is a giant shit we don'ttell mom episode.
Angie Yu (39:27):
I remember you saying that to me.
And I was like, oh my God.
Yeah, totally.
Cause that's, that's what we'rehere to try to do.
Right.
Talk about these things andimprove the overall collective
mental health of our community,which is what I think that this
movie has contributed to hasreally, really given, like a big
(39:49):
platform to the fact that like,Hey, like there are people like
us that are struggling with thistype of stuff.
We're not just your typicalimmigrant, you know, those
Asians over there.
Like we have our own storiestoo.
And I really happy that it'sgetting a bigger audience
(40:09):
because a lot of kids are gonnawatch this and they're probably
not going to be just Chinesekids.
And then their parents whoprobably never would have
watched a movie out of theircomfort zone, like this would
watch it too.
Kristy Yee (40:21):
We had such a, emotional and We had such a
reaction to this movie, I thinknot just as quote unquote kids,
but I think any parent wouldalso be able to have a reaction
for the mom and have thecompassion and empathy and
(40:42):
understanding of where the mom'scoming from as well.
out of my 5,000 quotes, I willend with one that was similar to
the second one because let's,let's be all feel good.
See about this.
And this one actually came fromthe dad and the dad said.
(41:02):
The dad said, people have allkinds of sides to them and some
are messy.
The point is not to push itaway.
Angie Yu (41:11):
Yeah, I really love that quote.
And I just loved that.
He showed the video to Malin waslike, like, I like this version
of you.
You're funny.
And that, that level ofacceptance shows a lot of love
from her dad.
So all, all, you know, just alot of good feelings
Kristy Yee (41:33):
so basically the takeaway from this episode is go
watch turning red if you haven'talready.
But I really, truly hope you,you already did, because by the
end of this episode, we justruined everything for you.
Angie Yu (41:48):
Oh yeah.
That's true.
They listen to this.
They we're like, we just toldthem everything in the movie,
but go watch.
But
Kristy Yee (41:56):
but I hope everybody who has listened all the way to
the end already did watch it.
And I hope, you know, you would,keep supporting the movie by
watching it again, because weneed to continue to have these
stories being told.
Right.
And not just, not just becauseof the Asian representation,
although that felt really goodbecause Angie and I are Chinese
and we're from Canada and thisstory speaks about a Chinese
(42:18):
Canadian girl, but also likejust, it's more demand for
different stories that wehaven't, that we didn't grow up
with.
Right.
No matter what, race or religionor sexuality or whatever,
whatever time period as well,like we need to have more
stories that weren't told asmuch.
Angie Yu (42:38):
yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Kristy Yee (42:41):
And that's it for season three.
Angie Yu (42:43):
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
That's it for season three.
we hope you enjoyed the seasonand as always send us a
Instagram message or an email,or leave us an audio message.
You can check that out on ourwebsite and we'd love to hear
what you would like to hear moreof in season four.
Kristy Yee (43:06):
also Spotify.
You can now rate podcasts, whichis awesome.
So if you're listening onSpotify right now, and we're
approaching the end of theepisode, just open your app and
click, whatever number of starsyou choose to give us.
And if you're listening on applepodcast, you can also go ahead
(43:26):
and open up your app and give uswhatever amount of stars you
would like to give us.
Because that we are told reallyhelps spread our show to more
people.
And if you like what we have tosay, and if you enjoy and
appreciate the work that we putinto this podcast, then please
(43:46):
rate us on your podcastplatforms.
And we will see you in seasonfour.
Angie Yu (43:53):
Bye.
Kristy Yee (43:53):
See you, like they can see us.
Angie Yu (43:57):
We'll see you metaphorically in
Kristy Yee (44:00):
We will be in your ears in season four.
(44:36):
Somebody bind you.
Angie Yu (44:40):
Oh, oh my God.
You scared me.
Okay.
It's just Evie.
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