June 18, 2025 • 34 mins
Ever caught yourself staring at your too-tight jeans, thinking "maybe I should hire a personal trainer"? That's exactly the moment when you need this brutally honest wake-up call.
The hard truth? Your weight isn't a gym problem—it's a decision problem. Those personal trainers you're considering dropping hundreds or thousands on? They can't follow you home and stop you from eating like an unsupervised child after a stressful day. They can't fix your relationship with food or prevent you from self-sabotaging.
This episode tears down the fitness industry's biggest lie: that someone else can save you from yourself. Weight loss is 80% eating habits, not burpees and kettlebell swings. You can burn 400 calories in a brutal workout then wipe it out with one mindless decision at dinner.
What you really need isn't motivation (that fleeting, unreliable mood) or another accountability buddy. You need ownership. You need to look in the mirror and finally say "I've had enough of my own bullshit." That moment—not when you sign up for training sessions or post a sweaty gym selfie—is when everything changes.
Instead of waiting for Monday or outsourcing your discipline, start building stackable habits: drink water before coffee, prioritize protein at meals, move every day, track honestly, sleep well, and embrace the boring consistency that creates lasting change.
Ready to stop pretending you don't know what to do? Ready to choose yourself? This no-nonsense guide will show you how to take control without a trainer, without complex plans, and without the same old excuses. Because real transformation doesn't come from someone else's clipboard—it comes from your choices.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast that
cuts in the noise and thenonsense and all that bullshit
that the internet is throwing atyou, those Instagram
influencers and all those onlinejerk-offs who think they know
how you should lose some weightbecause, hey, they've never been
fat.
They don't know what it's like.
So, before we get started ontoday's episode, I want to
apologize in advance.
(01:35):
My voice is a little funky.
I have a cold for the firsttime in I don't know 25, 30
years.
I can't remember the last timeI had a cold.
So if I sniffle, if I cough,you'll know why Because I have a
cold.
So here we are, right, andyou've hit that moment again.
God knows.
I've hit it a million times theI can't live like this anymore
(01:57):
moment.
You know when you're sittingthere, bloated and pissed to
marry your jeans are likemocking you from the closet that
you fat bastard.
So what do you do?
Of course you do what everybodydoes.
You pull out your phone.
You type in that magic phrasepersonal trainer near me,
because that's what you've beenconditioned to believe.
Right, that that someone else,someone fitter, some of the
(02:18):
clipboard and maybe a six-pack,that they can fix your problem.
You tell yourself, hey, if Ispend the, I know I'll take it
seriously.
And then you imagine thisversion of you who shows up
early to the training sessions,who does meal preps on Sunday
night and suddenly you'reabsolutely in love with broccoli
.
You think hiring a personaltrainer will finally force you
(02:39):
to do the thing you've beenavoiding for years, which is
actually changing.
But guess what and you knowthis it won't.
It won't change a thing.
Hire a personal trainer is oneof the worst things you can do
if your goal is long-term weightloss.
Yes, you heard what I just said.
No, I'm not trying to sabotageyour fitness journey.
I'm trying to save you fromwasting your time, your money
(03:02):
and your last shred of hope on astrategy that's destined to
fail if you don't fix that rootissue first.
So let's get one thing straightyour weight is not a gym
problem.
It's not because you don't knowhow to deadlift.
It's not because your workoutsaren't optimized for fat burn.
Your weight is a decisionproblem.
(03:24):
A thousand little choices, latenight snacks, the I'll start
Monday the just one more drinkstacked on top of each other
like a freaking Jenga game, allfull of self-sabotage because
you're not taking anyresponsibility.
And here's what the personaltrainer can't do.
They can't follow you home andstop you from eating like an
unsupervised child.
(03:45):
They can't stop you fromemotionally eating on from
eating like an unsupervisedchild.
They can't stop you fromemotionally eating on Tuesday
night after you had a shittyZoom call.
They can't make you stop lyingto yourself about why you're not
making progress.
All that that's on you, but ofcourse, the fitness and the
trainer industry.
They don't tell you that.
They sell you on the illusionthat if you just train harder,
(04:11):
the weight will magically meltoff.
So you throw a couple thousandbucks at the problem, expecting
someone else to drag you acrossthe finish line.
But here's a newsflash no oneis coming to save you this
journey.
It's not about burpees and Godknows no one hates burpees more
than me.
In fact, I haven't done one inyears.
But it's not about burpees.
It's not about perfectlyprogrammed supersets.
It's about finally decidingactually truly deciding that
you're done with your ownbullshit, that you're ready to
(04:33):
build a life where healthychoices are the default, not the
emergency plan.
So before you hire anothertrainer to hold your hand
through one more failed attempt,ask yourself this question Am I
finally ready to take, or am Ijust paying someone else to
pretend that I've alreadychanged?
If you're serious about losingweight for real, this time keep
(04:55):
listening, because it startswith something way simpler and
also way harder than hiring atrainer.
It starts with choosing.
So, look, let's make one thingpainfully clear no matter how
jacked your trainer is, nomatter how fancy their
certification might look on thewall, no matter how hard they
make you sweat for 45 minutes,they cannot and will not crawl
(05:17):
inside your brain and make youchoose grilled chicken over
pizza at 10 o'clock.
And that is where most peoplefail.
See, weight loss isn't abouthow hard you can work in a gym.
It's about how honest you'rewilling to be in your kitchen,
and most people they'd ratherpay someone to kick their ass
three times a week than actuallytake control of the other 165
(05:40):
hours.
They want someone else to forcethem into discipline.
But unfortunately, that's nothow it works.
Take it from me.
I know here's the truth.
A fitness engineer doesn't wantto tell you.
Weight loss is 80% eating habits, not burpees, not kettlebell
swings, not that overpriced bootcamp that you just Venmo'd half
your paycheck to.
(06:01):
You can outwork a lot of shit.
You really can.
You have a bad relationship, atough day, even a hangover God
knows, we've all done that.
But you can't outwork aconsistently bad diet.
Think about it A hard workoutmight burn three or four hundred
calories.
That's what like a small bagelwith cream cheese, a grande
mocha at Starbucks, a handful oftrail mix that your brain
(06:23):
pretends doesn't count becauseyou were just snacking.
You work out for an hour andwipe it all out with one dumb
decision at dinner and then youdo it again the next day and the
next.
People love to obsess abouttheir form when they're working
out their technique and how manyreps they did.
I mean, I'm guilty of it, weall are but when it comes down
(06:44):
to what they eat, it's afree-for-all no tracking, no
awareness, no plan.
Just I'm trying to eat better,which is code for I'm winging it
and hoping for a miracle.
Again, I say this because Iknow it.
I've been there and, just to beclear, I'm not anti-trainer.
There are some incredibletrainers out there who truly
care and want to help, but theirjob is to coach movement, not
(07:07):
to fix your relationship withfood.
And the truth is most peopledon't need a coach for deadlifts
, they need a wake-up call forDoorDash.
So this is going to be a toughpill to swallow.
But your squat form is not whyyou're overweight.
You're not overweight becauseyou don't know how to bench
press is not why you'reoverweight.
You're not overweight becauseyou don't know how to bench
press.
You're overweight because youhave a series of broken eating
(07:29):
habits that you refuse toacknowledge or take
responsibility for.
You want to lose weight.
Start with what you're puttingin your mouth.
Start with what you're tellingyourself when no one's watching.
Start with why you needed thatsnack at 9 pm, when you weren't
really hungry.
You were just bored or stressedor kind of numbing out at the
end of the night.
Because let me tell you onebrutal truth Discipline can't be
(07:50):
delegated.
You can't outsource it to yourtrainer, your spouse, your
stupid calorie track.
No one and nothing else canmake the decision for you.
When you're staring into thefridge and deciding between
leftover Chinese food or aprotein shake, that moment,
that's all you, and that's wherethe game is won or lost.
Again, I've said this a hundredtimes this isn't about
(08:18):
perfection, it's about patterns.
You don't need to be perfect tolose weight, you just need to
be consistent.
And that consistency isn'tbuilt in the gym, it's built in
the grocery store.
It's built in the drive-thruwhen you order grilled instead
of fried, and it's built in themoment that you say I've had
enough today instead offinishing the bag of chips just
because they're there.
That's ownership and that's howpeople actually lose weight and
keep it off.
(08:38):
Trainers can give you guidance,they can push you during your
workouts, but they can't stopyou from self-sabotaging.
They're not your babysitter,they're not your food cop and
they're not your mother tellingyou to eat your vegetables.
At best, at best, they're abonus layer of accountability.
But if the foundationunderneath it all is still built
(08:58):
on excuses, blame and a wholeshitload of wishful thinking,
it's all going to crumble.
The second life gets hard, andit will.
It always does so if you'rewondering why the weight isn't
coming off, don't look at yourworkout plan.
Look at your habits.
Look at your fridge.
Look at your Uber Eats historyit's probably scary.
Look at your nighttime routinesand your stress eating triggers
(09:20):
.
And look at your I'll startMonday mindset.
And, most importantly and thiswas a big one for me look in the
mirror.
But I mean really look in themirror and look at yourself,
because that's where theownership has to come from, not
from your trainer, not from yourcalorie burn, from you.
And once you own that, youdon't just lose weight, you gain
(09:40):
control, and that's worth morethan any personal trainer in the
world.
So now let's talk about themagical unicorn that everyone's
chasing, which is motivation.
You know my feelings onmotivation.
It's fleeting.
You know that electric feelingthat today's the day you're
going to wake up early, hit thegym, meal prep like a TikTok
influencer and never touch acarb again.
(10:01):
Yeah right, that shit lasts forabout 48 hours on a good day,
right?
Most people hire a personaltrainer because they think it'll
finally motivate them.
They believe that they spendenough money, show up to enough
sessions and get yelled at bysomeone in Lululemon tights or
shorts, they'll magically becomeconsistent, focused and driven
(10:23):
Again.
I am guilty.
I've hired a lot of trainers inmy life, but I hate to break it
to you.
Motivation is a fucking liar.
Motivation is a mood, and moodsare unreliable.
You know what else is a mood?
Wanting to stab someone in theeye in fucking traffic when they
cut you off?
That's a mood.
But it doesn't mean that you doit, because we're not supposed
to live our lives based on howwe feel in the moment.
(10:45):
We're supposed to live based onwhat we've decided.
But people don't want to hearthat.
They want to feel fired up.
They want that hype, thatinspiration, that big, dramatic
turning point.
The problem is, most of yourweight loss journey is going to
feel boring as shit.
It's going to feel inconvenientat times and it's going to feel
repetitive.
Motivation won't carry youthrough that.
(11:05):
Systems will.
When you wake up tired, bloatedand annoyed at the world.
You're not just going to leapout of bed at that point and
crush your hit circuit justbecause some guy named Chad told
you you're doing great.
What keeps you moving forward ondays like that isn't motivation
.
It's a system you built whenyou're clear-headed and
committed, and that's wherehiring a trainer can backfire.
(11:28):
You start relying on theirenergy, their structure and
their presence to prop you up.
They're the one telling youwhat to do, when to show up, how
to move.
But what happens when they'renot around or when you cancel?
When you go somewhere?
You fall off because you neverdeveloped your own internal
system, the one that kicks inwhen life gets busy, when you're
(11:49):
tired and when everything elsesucks.
And that's why you fall off,because you outsource your
consistency to someone else, andthat's a terrible vet.
Motivation is fleeting andtrainers are temporary.
You know what's not leading andtrainers are temporary.
You know what's not.
Your habits, your environment,your routines that's the real
(12:12):
battlefield.
That's what determines whetheryou lose the weight or stay
stuck spinning your wheels in anendless loop of short-lived
fresh starts.
And I'll start over again onMonday.
It's not about being fired up.
It's about showing up over andover again when it's
inconvenient, when you don'tfeel like it and when nobody's
watching.
And before you start whiningabout how hard that sounds, yeah
, I mean, I guess it is hard,but that's the point.
(12:33):
If it was easy, everybody wouldbe shredded and glowing with
this inner peace, looking likean Instagram idiot, but it's
hard for everyone, even thepeople that you look at on
Instagram, those Instagramidiots and gurus and look at
them and you think, oh, thatmust be nice.
You think they wake up everyday pumped to work out and eat
(12:54):
salad.
Nope, they've just trainedthemselves to do it anyway.
And that's the muscle you needto build, not your quads and not
your core your consistencymuscle.
And that doesn't come frompaying someone else to tell you
one more rep while you sweat allover the floor.
That comes from showing up foryourself when it's cold, when
it's raining, when you had ashitty day and just want to
(13:16):
binge on Netflix with a big bagof chips or bag of pretzels.
Motivation can start the fire,but ownership is what keeps it
lit.
And ownership doesn't need atrainer, it needs a plan, it
needs commitment.
It needs you to stop treatingevery bad day like a reason to
fall completely off the wagonand start over again next Monday
.
You don't need more hype.
(13:38):
You don't need motivationalYouTube videos or one more
inspirational quote slapped on adumbbell meme.
You need to get brutally honestabout what's getting in your
way and then create a fuckingsystem that bulldozes through it
.
You need structure, you neednon-negotiables routine that
will work when you don't feellike working, and that system
(13:58):
has to come from you, not yourtrainer's spreadsheet, because,
at the end of the day, yourtrainer doesn't live in your
head.
They're not there when you'restanding in front of the fridge
at midnight.
They're not in your car withyou when you're debating
drive-through versus home cooked.
That's your moment, that's yourchoice and that's where the
real transformation begins Notin the gym, but in the everyday
(14:20):
unsexy, un-instagrammabledecisions that stack up behind
the scenes.
So forget about chasingmotivation.
Let's build a system, one thatworks without the cheerleader,
one that shows up even when youdon't want to, because that's
how you win, not with hype, withhabit, relentless, boring,
(14:41):
badass habits.
So.
But let's say, let's just saythat you did hire a trainer,
you're pumped, you got aschedule, you're showing up,
you're sweating, it feels legit.
Start people, I got a trainernow, like it's some kind of
fucking personality upgrade.
But here's what happens next.
You become addicted to thetrainer, not the process.
Rely on them to show you whatto do.
(15:02):
You wait for their approval.
You need them to tell you howmany reps, how much weight, what
to, what to eat, when to do itand for a while that structure
feels like progress, it feelslike control.
But it's not real control, it'sborrowed.
The trainer actually becomesyour crutch.
They become the only reason youshow up.
God knows there's so many timeswhen I've showed up for my
trainer, when I used to have atrainer because I felt guilty
(15:25):
about blowing them off.
You go to the gym becausethey're expecting you.
You stay on track becausethey're watching, but guess what
?
Life doesn't give a shit aboutyour workout programs.
What happens when your trainergets sick or goes on vacation or
raises their rates and suddenlyyou're priced out?
What happens when you travelfor work, get slammed with life
(15:45):
and miss a few sessions?
I always definitely found anexcuse to miss a bunch of
sessions.
And I'll tell you what happens.
You crumble, you skip the gym,you skip the healthy meals, you
fall back into the old habitsand suddenly you're spiraling
out of control and lose all yourprogress Because you were never
actually in charge.
You outsourced responsibility.
(16:07):
You thought a trainer wouldmake you consistent.
You thought proximity to theirdiscipline would give you some
by osmosis.
But it doesn't work like that.
Consistency can't be borrowed.
And I'm not talking shit abouttrainers.
No shade to those guys.
But this is a you problem, nota them problem.
A good trainer will teach youskills, build your confidence
(16:29):
and help you build your ownsystems.
But most people don't usetrainers that way.
They use them like life coachesor an accountability buddy and
pretty much like a walkingpermission slip.
You don't need a trainer totell you to work out.
You need to become the kind ofperson who works out without
being told if that's your thing,if you're into the gym.
But again, it's 80% food.
(16:50):
But that's the shift, becauseyour entire routine is built
around someone else showing upand then guess what?
It's not your routine, it'stheirs.
They're just a guest in thestructure, and guests don't stay
forever.
All right, let me ask you aquestion right now.
If your trainer ghosted youtomorrow, would you keep going?
Would you know what to do?
(17:11):
Would you still show up?
If the answer is no,congratulations man.
Your trainer is a crutch.
And here's the bigger problem.
When you fail, you'll blamethem.
Well, my trainer wasn'tavailable.
Well, they changed my schedule.
They didn't give me the rightmeal plan.
Excuse after excuse after excuse.
It's not about your trainer,it's not about your schedule,
it's not about your access tothe gym or how busy your life is
(17:33):
.
It's about the fact that younever took ownership of your
results.
You outsource the one thing noone else can do for you, and
that's the decision to keepchoosing.
Support is great and communityis powerful.
Accountability partners canhelp you, but only if they're
reinforcing a foundation that'salready solid.
A trainer should be a tool, nota lifeline.
(17:56):
They should support your system, not be your system.
You don't get lasting resultsfrom someone dragging you across
the finish line.
You get them when you decideI'm going to do this with or
without help.
And here's the flip side.
When you stop using yourtrainer as a crutch and start
using them as a guide,everything changes.
You ask questions, you takenotes, you build your own habits
(18:17):
.
You don't rely on them.
You learn from them.
But most people will never makethat shift.
They'll stay dependent.
They get just good enough tofeel like they're making
progress, but not independentenough to keep going without
someone holding their hand.
That's why you see the samepeople hiring trainer after
trainer, guilty, guilty, guilty.
Year after year, guilty, stilltrying to lose the same 20 or 30
(18:39):
pounds.
Because they never made thejourney theirs.
I never made the journey mine.
It was always somebody else'sfault or someone else's
responsibility.
So look, ask yourself am Ibuilding habits or am I building
dependencies?
Am I actually growing or am Ijust paying someone to pretend
that I've changed?
Because if the trainerdisappears, and so does your
(19:00):
discipline, that ain'ttransformation, that's temporary
babysitting.
So if you want to really change, if you want to ditch the
crutch, stand up and own yourfucking choices.
That's where the power is.
So I know I'm hammering thishome, but the reality is you
don't need another workout app.
You don't need a celebrity mealplan.
(19:21):
You definitely don't need somedude yelling.
You got this while you pretendsquatting is your spiritual
calling.
What do you need?
Being honest, you need a damnmirror, and not to admire your
gains or obsess over your flaws,to look yourself straight in
the eye and admit the truth.
You already know what to do.
You're just not doing it.
(19:43):
Look, we live in the most healthfitness obsessed, information
overloaded time in human history.
You can Google exactly how tolose weight, what to eat, how to
train, when to sleep, how torecover, what supplements to
take and the 40 mistakes thatyou're making while you're
chewing, and still people staystuck.
Why?
(20:03):
Because knowing isn't theproblem.
We all know what to do.
You've heard me say that athousand times.
Knowing is not the problem.
Choosing is.
People want to believe weightloss is some mysterious formula
they haven't cracked yet.
They want to blame theirmetabolism, their schedule,
their genetics, their stressfuljob, the kids, emotional trauma,
(20:24):
their thyroid fucking.
Mercury and retrograde, I meanwhatever.
Whatever the new excuses thisweek, but deep down we all know
what's going on.
You don't need a trainer totell you fast food every day is
wrecking your progress.
You don't need a coach toexplain why six glasses of wine
and two bags of popcorn are nota balanced dinner.
You don't need a workout planif you're still binging in
(20:47):
secret and calling it a bad day.
You need a mirror and a momentof radical honesty.
The mirror and I learned thisthe hard way I looked at myself.
Well, I actually used aphotograph.
I saw a photograph of myself.
But the mirror or thatphotograph doesn't give a shit
about your excuses.
It doesn't buy your bullshit.
It shows you exactly what yourhabits have created, and that's
(21:11):
powerful if you're willing toface it, and most people aren't.
So they hire trainers thinkingif someone else holds them
accountable, maybe they'llfinally stick to it.
But accountability.
Without that ownership is justbabysitting.
I've said that already, andeventually the babysitter goes
home and you're left alone withthe same fucking choices.
The mirror is there every day,every night, every meal and
(21:32):
after every binge, every workoutthat you skipped and every lie
that you told yourself about whythis week is this is just a
hard week.
The mirror isn't your enemy,it's your scoreboard, and here's
the truth.
You don't need someone else tofix you.
You need to stop running fromyourself, because when you
actually sit with your choices,when you really see them without
(21:53):
filters, without spin, withoutthe I've just been busy lies,
you realize this whole thing issimpler than you made it Hard.
It can be Complex Absolutelynot.
You know what to do.
Eat like an adult, move yourbody consistently, and that
doesn't mean the gym, it justmeans walking.
It means doing whatever you'llactually do.
(22:14):
Drink water like your lifedepends on it.
I mean it kind of does Get somesleep.
And stop pretending food istherapy, one that I was
extremely guilty of.
I often ate to fix my emotion,but that's it.
That's the game.
Everything else is just noise.
You don't need a new diet, youdon't need to start over on
Monday.
(22:34):
You need to look in the mirrorand say I've had enough of my
own bullshit.
Because here's the secret thatnobody tells you.
That moment, the real one, thegritty, tired, emotional, fed up
, no more excuses moment, that'swhen everything changes.
I can remember the moment thateverything changed.
For me, it's a big moment.
It's not when you sign up forclass, it's not when you drop
(22:57):
$1,200 on a trainer, and it'snot when you post some sweaty
selfie of yourself and beg forlikes.
That's just not it.
The change happens when youchoose you in the mirror, in the
dark and when no one else iswatching.
It's not dramatic, it's notsexy.
I take that back.
It is dramatic, it's not sexy,certainly, and it's not
(23:20):
Instagramable, but it's real.
And that choice you can make itanytime today, right now, after
listening to this episode,whenever you want, you can stop
negotiating with yourself, stopwaiting for a better time, stop
outsourcing your responsibilitylike your body is some broken
machine that only the fit eliteknow how to fix.
(23:41):
You're not broken, you're justscared.
You don't have balls.
You're scared that if you stopblaming other things, like the
trainer, the schedule, yourcravings, then it's all on you.
And guess what?
Yeah, it is.
But that's the good news,because if it's on you, then you
also have the power to change.
You don't need anyone'spermission.
You don't need motivation.
(24:02):
You don't need anybody'sapproval.
You just need the scary thing,the mirror and the guts to say
this is where I change.
So stop hiding behind yourtrainer, stop hiding behind the
plan, stop hiding behind life iscrazy right now and get in
front of the mirror and gethonest and get moving.
That's how you take backcontrol and that's how you
(24:25):
finally lose the weight.
Not with a trainer, with achoice.
So, hopefully, by now, youfired your trainer, or your
imaginary trainer, and yousmashed the crutch.
You stared into the mirror andown your own shit.
Now what?
Well, here's what you don't do.
You don't panic and Google bestweight loss plan of 2025.
(24:46):
You don't need another plan.
You need to finally actuallystart doing what you already
know works.
So look, I'm going to break itdown.
I've broken it down for youbefore, but let me do it again
in case this is your firstepisode.
So here's what I want you to doinstead of hiring a trainer to
babysit your progress.
First, you start out withstackable habits.
Remember that sexy concept thatwe talked about last week we're
(25:08):
bringing it back because itworks.
You don't need to overhaul yourentire life on Monday morning.
You need to make one small,winnable choice, then stack
another, one on top of it, andanother, and another, and again.
Just to remind you of thosethings, drink a full glass of
water before your first coffee.
Add and again, just to remindyou those things drink a full
glass of water before your firstcoffee.
Add a walk after dinner.
(25:28):
Put your phone down for 30minutes earlier at night and do
some exercise.
Eat a protein-packed breakfastinstead of muffin and pretend
that that's healthy.
You know it's not.
I know these things don't looklike much, but they build
momentum, and momentum is morepowerful than motivation.
The second thing I want you todo is fix your food first.
Here's where the real worklives your meals.
If you're not eating likesomeone who gives a shit about
(25:50):
their body, then no workout'sgoing to save you.
You don't need a meal plan.
You don't.
You don't need to countcalories.
You don't need to do any ofthat.
Here's what you do need to do.
You need to eat real food.
You need to eat a lot ofprotein.
You have to cut out all thatfake health bullshit like oh,
it's gluten-free canola bro.
Now fuck, you know that shit'snot good for you.
(26:13):
Anything that's processed isdog shit.
And stop pretending yourweekend calories don't count and
start with this.
Every meal needs a proteinsource and a plant or a veggie.
So chicken and broccoli and Ipromise you don't have to eat
broccoli until you want to puke,but eggs and spinach, turkey
and green beans.
Just don't complicate it andstop calling it a cheat day when
(26:35):
you really mean.
I blacked out on queso andregret my life Again, guilty,
went to the Mexican restaurantand ate three bowls of chips and
queso.
This is about building trustwith yourself, not gaming the
system.
The third thing you want to dois move every fucking day, move,
move, move.
And guess what?
That's free, no gym, no trainer, no problem, walk, that's it.
(26:59):
Walk, it's free, it's effectiveand it doesn't require any
spandex.
You got to see me in spandex.
It is not a pretty sight.
You're not trying to win theOlympics here.
You're trying to reclaim yourhealth and your confidence.
So get I don't know 5,000,6,000, 7,000 steps a day.
If you can't do that, start outsmaller and work up to it.
Build yourself a little goal,but move.
(27:20):
Put on some music, a podcastthis one might be a good idea.
Or just silence, just move.
And if you want to do somestrength training, that's
fucking great.
If you want to go to the gym,awesome.
I don't.
I never have Well, I have, butI haven't in a very long time
that's fine.
You don't need the gym.
There are literally thousandsof free workouts on YouTube.
If you want to do that, you cando push-ups, you can do squats,
(27:42):
you can even spend 20 bucks toget resistance bands.
You don't need a coach to liftyour own fucking body weight
okay, you don't.
You just need to move.
And then the fourth thing I wantyou to do is track, track
something with brutal honesty,no more mystery math.
Track your food, and I don'tmean count the calories, but I
mean track your food.
Think about what you're eating,be mindful, track your weight,
(28:08):
track your sleep.
You don't need to obsess, justobserve it, because if you're
not measuring it, the truth isyou're really just guessing.
So if you're just kind of goingthrough the day mindlessly and
eating mindlessly, you're nottracking anything.
Again, I'm not saying countcalories, I'm not saying do all
this crazy shit.
Just be aware of what you'reeating.
Because, if we're being honest,most of your guesses are the
lies that you tell yourself tofeel better.
(28:29):
I barely ate yesterday.
No, you snacked all day andforgot about half of it.
Well, I'm not losing weighteven though I'm eating clean.
No, you're overeating almondsand calling it a strategy.
Everything in moderation.
Awareness is the first step incontrol.
The second step, as we know, isownership.
So the next thing is you got tosleep, you got to hydrate and
(28:54):
you got to just chill the fuckout.
If you're sleeping five hours anight, pounding caffeine and
living in a constant state ofstress, of course your body's
holding on to fat.
You got to try to sleep sevenor eight hours.
Drink half your body weight inounces of water, breathe,
stretch, laugh, man, laugh.
Laughter is the greatestmedicine in the world.
(29:15):
Go outside, hang out with yourdog.
You're not just a machinetrying to burn calories.
You're a fucking human beingwho needs recovery and mental
space to function.
The next one and I talked aboutthis a lot last week is make it
boring on purpose.
This is where 99 of the peoplefuck this up.
(29:35):
They get bored and they bail.
But guess what?
Boring is the goal.
Success is not flashy, it's notdramatic, it's not fueled by
transformation montages on yoursocial media.
It's you doing the same basicstuff over and over again when
no one's clapping for you and noone's giving you likes.
When it's boring, that meansit's becoming a habit, and
(29:59):
habits are what create lastingchange.
Habits are what create lastingchange.
The last one and everybody'sguilty of this, I've been guilty
of it my whole life until Iwent on this last journey is
stop waiting for the right time.
There is no perfect Monday.
There's no magical window wherelife just chills out and
(30:21):
everything's good.
If you're waiting for it to geteasier, you'll be waiting
forever.
So start now.
It's okay if it's messy, ifit's imperfect, if you're tired,
if you're frustrated None ofthat matters.
Start by choosing better atyour next meal.
Start by going for a walk afterlistening.
Start by deleting delivery appson your phone and drinking some
(30:43):
fucking water.
Just start, that's it.
Just start.
So I know I covered a lot ofstuff and I told you a lot of
things that you should do andyou shouldn't do, but here's
what I'm going to close with youdon't need a trainer, you need
a choice.
You're literally just onedecision away from momentum, one
(31:03):
small shift away from change.
Trainers are fine when you'realready moving, but if you're
standing still, paralyzed byyour weight and overwhelmed, and
waiting for someone to drag youout of your rut, it's not the
help you need.
It's a choice.
That's what you need.
You need a choice.
You need small, smart choices.
You need stackable habits.
(31:25):
So stop outsourcing all thatshit, stop waiting and stop
pretending you don't know whatto do.
You know, we all know it comespre-wired in us.
You know how to lose weight.
You know how to move by walking, by doing simple things,
dancing, yoga, whatever it isthat you do.
You know how to do all of thisstuff.
(31:48):
It's all about making thechoice to actually do it.
Keep it simple, make it boringand you'll lose the weight.
So that's what my thought abouttrainers.
I think they're a completefucking waste of time and a
complete waste of money.
Unless you're training to be abodybuilder, then of course it
makes a lot of sense.
But if you're just trying tolose weight, you're pissing away
(32:10):
your money on a trainer, you'repissing away your time on a
trainer and you're pissing awayyour motivation on a trainer.
So if you want to hear moreabout how I lost over 140 pounds
in a year well, actually it'smore like a year and a half.
140 pounds in a year.
Well, actually it's more like ayear and a half.
I have a book on Amazon.
It's called Shut Up and Choose,same as this podcast.
(32:31):
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I get emails every single weekabout people telling me they
read it in a couple of hours andit changed their life.
I don't give you any recipes.
I don't give you any meal plans.
I just tell you how to get yourmind in the right place and how
to lose the weight.
Again, it's available on Amazon.
I also have a video course.
It's 23 short videos.
They are about five to sevenminutes each.
You can listen to it in acouple of hours.
(32:52):
It really, if you're more of avisual learner, it really gets
you into that mindset of how Idid it and, honestly, how you
can do it too.
I'm a big believer in mindset iseverything when it comes to
weight loss.
Of course, you have to make theright food choices, but if your
mind's not in the game, yourbody ain't going to follow.
So you can get that videocourse at
(33:13):
learnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
So now that I did mycommercials, I'll sign off.
I'll tell you, like I've saidthree or four times already
today, you know exactly what todo.
You don't need anybody to tellyou how to lose weight.
You don't need someone yellingat you in their Lululemon tights
(33:34):
and telling you good job, justget one.
That's a bunch of bullshit.
This comes down to making thechoice to lose the weight,
making the choice to eat theright foods, making the choice
to take control of your life.
So, really, that's all you needto do Now.
The only thing left for you todo is to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(34:19):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast that
cuts in the noise and thenonsense and all that bullshit
that the internet is throwing atyou, those Instagram
influencers and all those onlinejerk-offs who think they know
how you should lose some weightbecause, hey, they've never been
fat.
They don't know what it's like.
So, before we get started ontoday's episode, I want to
apologize in advance.
(01:35):
My voice is a little funky.
I have a cold for the firsttime in I don't know 25, 30
years.
I can't remember the last timeI had a cold.
So if I sniffle, if I cough,you'll know why Because I have a
cold.
So here we are, right, andyou've hit that moment again.
God knows.
I've hit it a million times theI can't live like this anymore
(01:57):
moment.
You know when you're sittingthere, bloated and pissed to
marry your jeans are likemocking you from the closet that
you fat bastard.
So what do you do?
Of course you do what everybodydoes.
You pull out your phone.
You type in that magic phrasepersonal trainer near me,
because that's what you've beenconditioned to believe.
Right, that that someone else,someone fitter, some of the
(02:18):
clipboard and maybe a six-pack,that they can fix your problem.
You tell yourself, hey, if Ispend the, I know I'll take it
seriously.
And then you imagine thisversion of you who shows up
early to the training sessions,who does meal preps on Sunday
night and suddenly you'reabsolutely in love with broccoli
.
You think hiring a personaltrainer will finally force you
(02:39):
to do the thing you've beenavoiding for years, which is
actually changing.
But guess what and you knowthis it won't.
It won't change a thing.
Hire a personal trainer is oneof the worst things you can do
if your goal is long-term weightloss.
Yes, you heard what I just said.
No, I'm not trying to sabotageyour fitness journey.
I'm trying to save you fromwasting your time, your money
(03:02):
and your last shred of hope on astrategy that's destined to
fail if you don't fix that rootissue first.
So let's get one thing straightyour weight is not a gym
problem.
It's not because you don't knowhow to deadlift.
It's not because your workoutsaren't optimized for fat burn.
Your weight is a decisionproblem.
(03:24):
A thousand little choices, latenight snacks, the I'll start
Monday the just one more drinkstacked on top of each other
like a freaking Jenga game, allfull of self-sabotage because
you're not taking anyresponsibility.
And here's what the personaltrainer can't do.
They can't follow you home andstop you from eating like an
unsupervised child.
(03:45):
They can't stop you fromemotionally eating on from
eating like an unsupervisedchild.
They can't stop you fromemotionally eating on Tuesday
night after you had a shittyZoom call.
They can't make you stop lyingto yourself about why you're not
making progress.
All that that's on you, but ofcourse, the fitness and the
trainer industry.
They don't tell you that.
They sell you on the illusionthat if you just train harder,
(04:11):
the weight will magically meltoff.
So you throw a couple thousandbucks at the problem, expecting
someone else to drag you acrossthe finish line.
But here's a newsflash no oneis coming to save you this
journey.
It's not about burpees and Godknows no one hates burpees more
than me.
In fact, I haven't done one inyears.
But it's not about burpees.
It's not about perfectlyprogrammed supersets.
It's about finally decidingactually truly deciding that
you're done with your ownbullshit, that you're ready to
(04:33):
build a life where healthychoices are the default, not the
emergency plan.
So before you hire anothertrainer to hold your hand
through one more failed attempt,ask yourself this question Am I
finally ready to take, or am Ijust paying someone else to
pretend that I've alreadychanged?
If you're serious about losingweight for real, this time keep
(04:55):
listening, because it startswith something way simpler and
also way harder than hiring atrainer.
It starts with choosing.
So, look, let's make one thingpainfully clear no matter how
jacked your trainer is, nomatter how fancy their
certification might look on thewall, no matter how hard they
make you sweat for 45 minutes,they cannot and will not crawl
(05:17):
inside your brain and make youchoose grilled chicken over
pizza at 10 o'clock.
And that is where most peoplefail.
See, weight loss isn't abouthow hard you can work in a gym.
It's about how honest you'rewilling to be in your kitchen,
and most people they'd ratherpay someone to kick their ass
three times a week than actuallytake control of the other 165
(05:40):
hours.
They want someone else to forcethem into discipline.
But unfortunately, that's nothow it works.
Take it from me.
I know here's the truth.
A fitness engineer doesn't wantto tell you.
Weight loss is 80% eating habits, not burpees, not kettlebell
swings, not that overpriced bootcamp that you just Venmo'd half
your paycheck to.
(06:01):
You can outwork a lot of shit.
You really can.
You have a bad relationship, atough day, even a hangover God
knows, we've all done that.
But you can't outwork aconsistently bad diet.
Think about it A hard workoutmight burn three or four hundred
calories.
That's what like a small bagelwith cream cheese, a grande
mocha at Starbucks, a handful oftrail mix that your brain
(06:23):
pretends doesn't count becauseyou were just snacking.
You work out for an hour andwipe it all out with one dumb
decision at dinner and then youdo it again the next day and the
next.
People love to obsess abouttheir form when they're working
out their technique and how manyreps they did.
I mean, I'm guilty of it, weall are but when it comes down
(06:44):
to what they eat, it's afree-for-all no tracking, no
awareness, no plan.
Just I'm trying to eat better,which is code for I'm winging it
and hoping for a miracle.
Again, I say this because Iknow it.
I've been there and, just to beclear, I'm not anti-trainer.
There are some incredibletrainers out there who truly
care and want to help, but theirjob is to coach movement, not
(07:07):
to fix your relationship withfood.
And the truth is most peopledon't need a coach for deadlifts
, they need a wake-up call forDoorDash.
So this is going to be a toughpill to swallow.
But your squat form is not whyyou're overweight.
You're not overweight becauseyou don't know how to bench
press is not why you'reoverweight.
You're not overweight becauseyou don't know how to bench
press.
You're overweight because youhave a series of broken eating
(07:29):
habits that you refuse toacknowledge or take
responsibility for.
You want to lose weight.
Start with what you're puttingin your mouth.
Start with what you're tellingyourself when no one's watching.
Start with why you needed thatsnack at 9 pm, when you weren't
really hungry.
You were just bored or stressedor kind of numbing out at the
end of the night.
Because let me tell you onebrutal truth Discipline can't be
(07:50):
delegated.
You can't outsource it to yourtrainer, your spouse, your
stupid calorie track.
No one and nothing else canmake the decision for you.
When you're staring into thefridge and deciding between
leftover Chinese food or aprotein shake, that moment,
that's all you, and that's wherethe game is won or lost.
Again, I've said this a hundredtimes this isn't about
(08:18):
perfection, it's about patterns.
You don't need to be perfect tolose weight, you just need to
be consistent.
And that consistency isn'tbuilt in the gym, it's built in
the grocery store.
It's built in the drive-thruwhen you order grilled instead
of fried, and it's built in themoment that you say I've had
enough today instead offinishing the bag of chips just
because they're there.
That's ownership and that's howpeople actually lose weight and
keep it off.
(08:38):
Trainers can give you guidance,they can push you during your
workouts, but they can't stopyou from self-sabotaging.
They're not your babysitter,they're not your food cop and
they're not your mother tellingyou to eat your vegetables.
At best, at best, they're abonus layer of accountability.
But if the foundationunderneath it all is still built
(08:58):
on excuses, blame and a wholeshitload of wishful thinking,
it's all going to crumble.
The second life gets hard, andit will.
It always does so if you'rewondering why the weight isn't
coming off, don't look at yourworkout plan.
Look at your habits.
Look at your fridge.
Look at your Uber Eats historyit's probably scary.
Look at your nighttime routinesand your stress eating triggers
(09:20):
.
And look at your I'll startMonday mindset.
And, most importantly and thiswas a big one for me look in the
mirror.
But I mean really look in themirror and look at yourself,
because that's where theownership has to come from, not
from your trainer, not from yourcalorie burn, from you.
And once you own that, youdon't just lose weight, you gain
(09:40):
control, and that's worth morethan any personal trainer in the
world.
So now let's talk about themagical unicorn that everyone's
chasing, which is motivation.
You know my feelings onmotivation.
It's fleeting.
You know that electric feelingthat today's the day you're
going to wake up early, hit thegym, meal prep like a TikTok
influencer and never touch acarb again.
(10:01):
Yeah right, that shit lasts forabout 48 hours on a good day,
right?
Most people hire a personaltrainer because they think it'll
finally motivate them.
They believe that they spendenough money, show up to enough
sessions and get yelled at bysomeone in Lululemon tights or
shorts, they'll magically becomeconsistent, focused and driven
(10:23):
Again.
I am guilty.
I've hired a lot of trainers inmy life, but I hate to break it
to you.
Motivation is a fucking liar.
Motivation is a mood, and moodsare unreliable.
You know what else is a mood?
Wanting to stab someone in theeye in fucking traffic when they
cut you off?
That's a mood.
But it doesn't mean that you doit, because we're not supposed
to live our lives based on howwe feel in the moment.
(10:45):
We're supposed to live based onwhat we've decided.
But people don't want to hearthat.
They want to feel fired up.
They want that hype, thatinspiration, that big, dramatic
turning point.
The problem is, most of yourweight loss journey is going to
feel boring as shit.
It's going to feel inconvenientat times and it's going to feel
repetitive.
Motivation won't carry youthrough that.
(11:05):
Systems will.
When you wake up tired, bloatedand annoyed at the world.
You're not just going to leapout of bed at that point and
crush your hit circuit justbecause some guy named Chad told
you you're doing great.
What keeps you moving forward ondays like that isn't motivation
.
It's a system you built whenyou're clear-headed and
committed, and that's wherehiring a trainer can backfire.
(11:28):
You start relying on theirenergy, their structure and
their presence to prop you up.
They're the one telling youwhat to do, when to show up, how
to move.
But what happens when they'renot around or when you cancel?
When you go somewhere?
You fall off because you neverdeveloped your own internal
system, the one that kicks inwhen life gets busy, when you're
(11:49):
tired and when everything elsesucks.
And that's why you fall off,because you outsource your
consistency to someone else, andthat's a terrible vet.
Motivation is fleeting andtrainers are temporary.
You know what's not leading andtrainers are temporary.
You know what's not.
Your habits, your environment,your routines that's the real
(12:12):
battlefield.
That's what determines whetheryou lose the weight or stay
stuck spinning your wheels in anendless loop of short-lived
fresh starts.
And I'll start over again onMonday.
It's not about being fired up.
It's about showing up over andover again when it's
inconvenient, when you don'tfeel like it and when nobody's
watching.
And before you start whiningabout how hard that sounds, yeah
, I mean, I guess it is hard,but that's the point.
(12:33):
If it was easy, everybody wouldbe shredded and glowing with
this inner peace, looking likean Instagram idiot, but it's
hard for everyone, even thepeople that you look at on
Instagram, those Instagramidiots and gurus and look at
them and you think, oh, thatmust be nice.
You think they wake up everyday pumped to work out and eat
(12:54):
salad.
Nope, they've just trainedthemselves to do it anyway.
And that's the muscle you needto build, not your quads and not
your core your consistencymuscle.
And that doesn't come frompaying someone else to tell you
one more rep while you sweat allover the floor.
That comes from showing up foryourself when it's cold, when
it's raining, when you had ashitty day and just want to
(13:16):
binge on Netflix with a big bagof chips or bag of pretzels.
Motivation can start the fire,but ownership is what keeps it
lit.
And ownership doesn't need atrainer, it needs a plan, it
needs commitment.
It needs you to stop treatingevery bad day like a reason to
fall completely off the wagonand start over again next Monday
.
You don't need more hype.
(13:38):
You don't need motivationalYouTube videos or one more
inspirational quote slapped on adumbbell meme.
You need to get brutally honestabout what's getting in your
way and then create a fuckingsystem that bulldozes through it
.
You need structure, you neednon-negotiables routine that
will work when you don't feellike working, and that system
(13:58):
has to come from you, not yourtrainer's spreadsheet, because,
at the end of the day, yourtrainer doesn't live in your
head.
They're not there when you'restanding in front of the fridge
at midnight.
They're not in your car withyou when you're debating
drive-through versus home cooked.
That's your moment, that's yourchoice and that's where the
real transformation begins Notin the gym, but in the everyday
(14:20):
unsexy, un-instagrammabledecisions that stack up behind
the scenes.
So forget about chasingmotivation.
Let's build a system, one thatworks without the cheerleader,
one that shows up even when youdon't want to, because that's
how you win, not with hype, withhabit, relentless, boring,
(14:41):
badass habits.
So.
But let's say, let's just saythat you did hire a trainer,
you're pumped, you got aschedule, you're showing up,
you're sweating, it feels legit.
Start people, I got a trainernow, like it's some kind of
fucking personality upgrade.
But here's what happens next.
You become addicted to thetrainer, not the process.
Rely on them to show you whatto do.
(15:02):
You wait for their approval.
You need them to tell you howmany reps, how much weight, what
to, what to eat, when to do itand for a while that structure
feels like progress, it feelslike control.
But it's not real control, it'sborrowed.
The trainer actually becomesyour crutch.
They become the only reason youshow up.
God knows there's so many timeswhen I've showed up for my
trainer, when I used to have atrainer because I felt guilty
(15:25):
about blowing them off.
You go to the gym becausethey're expecting you.
You stay on track becausethey're watching, but guess what
?
Life doesn't give a shit aboutyour workout programs.
What happens when your trainergets sick or goes on vacation or
raises their rates and suddenlyyou're priced out?
What happens when you travelfor work, get slammed with life
(15:45):
and miss a few sessions?
I always definitely found anexcuse to miss a bunch of
sessions.
And I'll tell you what happens.
You crumble, you skip the gym,you skip the healthy meals, you
fall back into the old habitsand suddenly you're spiraling
out of control and lose all yourprogress Because you were never
actually in charge.
You outsourced responsibility.
(16:07):
You thought a trainer wouldmake you consistent.
You thought proximity to theirdiscipline would give you some
by osmosis.
But it doesn't work like that.
Consistency can't be borrowed.
And I'm not talking shit abouttrainers.
No shade to those guys.
But this is a you problem, nota them problem.
A good trainer will teach youskills, build your confidence
(16:29):
and help you build your ownsystems.
But most people don't usetrainers that way.
They use them like life coachesor an accountability buddy and
pretty much like a walkingpermission slip.
You don't need a trainer totell you to work out.
You need to become the kind ofperson who works out without
being told if that's your thing,if you're into the gym.
But again, it's 80% food.
(16:50):
But that's the shift, becauseyour entire routine is built
around someone else showing upand then guess what?
It's not your routine, it'stheirs.
They're just a guest in thestructure, and guests don't stay
forever.
All right, let me ask you aquestion right now.
If your trainer ghosted youtomorrow, would you keep going?
Would you know what to do?
(17:11):
Would you still show up?
If the answer is no,congratulations man.
Your trainer is a crutch.
And here's the bigger problem.
When you fail, you'll blamethem.
Well, my trainer wasn'tavailable.
Well, they changed my schedule.
They didn't give me the rightmeal plan.
Excuse after excuse after excuse.
It's not about your trainer,it's not about your schedule,
it's not about your access tothe gym or how busy your life is
(17:33):
.
It's about the fact that younever took ownership of your
results.
You outsource the one thing noone else can do for you, and
that's the decision to keepchoosing.
Support is great and communityis powerful.
Accountability partners canhelp you, but only if they're
reinforcing a foundation that'salready solid.
A trainer should be a tool, nota lifeline.
(17:56):
They should support your system, not be your system.
You don't get lasting resultsfrom someone dragging you across
the finish line.
You get them when you decideI'm going to do this with or
without help.
And here's the flip side.
When you stop using yourtrainer as a crutch and start
using them as a guide,everything changes.
You ask questions, you takenotes, you build your own habits
(18:17):
.
You don't rely on them.
You learn from them.
But most people will never makethat shift.
They'll stay dependent.
They get just good enough tofeel like they're making
progress, but not independentenough to keep going without
someone holding their hand.
That's why you see the samepeople hiring trainer after
trainer, guilty, guilty, guilty.
Year after year, guilty, stilltrying to lose the same 20 or 30
(18:39):
pounds.
Because they never made thejourney theirs.
I never made the journey mine.
It was always somebody else'sfault or someone else's
responsibility.
So look, ask yourself am Ibuilding habits or am I building
dependencies?
Am I actually growing or am Ijust paying someone to pretend
that I've changed?
Because if the trainerdisappears, and so does your
(19:00):
discipline, that ain'ttransformation, that's temporary
babysitting.
So if you want to really change, if you want to ditch the
crutch, stand up and own yourfucking choices.
That's where the power is.
So I know I'm hammering thishome, but the reality is you
don't need another workout app.
You don't need a celebrity mealplan.
(19:21):
You definitely don't need somedude yelling.
You got this while you pretendsquatting is your spiritual
calling.
What do you need?
Being honest, you need a damnmirror, and not to admire your
gains or obsess over your flaws,to look yourself straight in
the eye and admit the truth.
You already know what to do.
You're just not doing it.
(19:43):
Look, we live in the most healthfitness obsessed, information
overloaded time in human history.
You can Google exactly how tolose weight, what to eat, how to
train, when to sleep, how torecover, what supplements to
take and the 40 mistakes thatyou're making while you're
chewing, and still people staystuck.
Why?
(20:03):
Because knowing isn't theproblem.
We all know what to do.
You've heard me say that athousand times.
Knowing is not the problem.
Choosing is.
People want to believe weightloss is some mysterious formula
they haven't cracked yet.
They want to blame theirmetabolism, their schedule,
their genetics, their stressfuljob, the kids, emotional trauma,
(20:24):
their thyroid fucking.
Mercury and retrograde, I meanwhatever.
Whatever the new excuses thisweek, but deep down we all know
what's going on.
You don't need a trainer totell you fast food every day is
wrecking your progress.
You don't need a coach toexplain why six glasses of wine
and two bags of popcorn are nota balanced dinner.
You don't need a workout planif you're still binging in
(20:47):
secret and calling it a bad day.
You need a mirror and a momentof radical honesty.
The mirror and I learned thisthe hard way I looked at myself.
Well, I actually used aphotograph.
I saw a photograph of myself.
But the mirror or thatphotograph doesn't give a shit
about your excuses.
It doesn't buy your bullshit.
It shows you exactly what yourhabits have created, and that's
(21:11):
powerful if you're willing toface it, and most people aren't.
So they hire trainers thinkingif someone else holds them
accountable, maybe they'llfinally stick to it.
But accountability.
Without that ownership is justbabysitting.
I've said that already, andeventually the babysitter goes
home and you're left alone withthe same fucking choices.
The mirror is there every day,every night, every meal and
(21:32):
after every binge, every workoutthat you skipped and every lie
that you told yourself about whythis week is this is just a
hard week.
The mirror isn't your enemy,it's your scoreboard, and here's
the truth.
You don't need someone else tofix you.
You need to stop running fromyourself, because when you
actually sit with your choices,when you really see them without
(21:53):
filters, without spin, withoutthe I've just been busy lies,
you realize this whole thing issimpler than you made it Hard.
It can be Complex Absolutelynot.
You know what to do.
Eat like an adult, move yourbody consistently, and that
doesn't mean the gym, it justmeans walking.
It means doing whatever you'llactually do.
(22:14):
Drink water like your lifedepends on it.
I mean it kind of does Get somesleep.
And stop pretending food istherapy, one that I was
extremely guilty of.
I often ate to fix my emotion,but that's it.
That's the game.
Everything else is just noise.
You don't need a new diet, youdon't need to start over on
Monday.
(22:34):
You need to look in the mirrorand say I've had enough of my
own bullshit.
Because here's the secret thatnobody tells you.
That moment, the real one, thegritty, tired, emotional, fed up
, no more excuses moment, that'swhen everything changes.
I can remember the moment thateverything changed.
For me, it's a big moment.
It's not when you sign up forclass, it's not when you drop
(22:57):
$1,200 on a trainer, and it'snot when you post some sweaty
selfie of yourself and beg forlikes.
That's just not it.
The change happens when youchoose you in the mirror, in the
dark and when no one else iswatching.
It's not dramatic, it's notsexy.
I take that back.
It is dramatic, it's not sexy,certainly, and it's not
(23:20):
Instagramable, but it's real.
And that choice you can make itanytime today, right now, after
listening to this episode,whenever you want, you can stop
negotiating with yourself, stopwaiting for a better time, stop
outsourcing your responsibilitylike your body is some broken
machine that only the fit eliteknow how to fix.
(23:41):
You're not broken, you're justscared.
You don't have balls.
You're scared that if you stopblaming other things, like the
trainer, the schedule, yourcravings, then it's all on you.
And guess what?
Yeah, it is.
But that's the good news,because if it's on you, then you
also have the power to change.
You don't need anyone'spermission.
You don't need motivation.
(24:02):
You don't need anybody'sapproval.
You just need the scary thing,the mirror and the guts to say
this is where I change.
So stop hiding behind yourtrainer, stop hiding behind the
plan, stop hiding behind life iscrazy right now and get in
front of the mirror and gethonest and get moving.
That's how you take backcontrol and that's how you
(24:25):
finally lose the weight.
Not with a trainer, with achoice.
So, hopefully, by now, youfired your trainer, or your
imaginary trainer, and yousmashed the crutch.
You stared into the mirror andown your own shit.
Now what?
Well, here's what you don't do.
You don't panic and Google bestweight loss plan of 2025.
(24:46):
You don't need another plan.
You need to finally actuallystart doing what you already
know works.
So look, I'm going to break itdown.
I've broken it down for youbefore, but let me do it again
in case this is your firstepisode.
So here's what I want you to doinstead of hiring a trainer to
babysit your progress.
First, you start out withstackable habits.
Remember that sexy concept thatwe talked about last week we're
(25:08):
bringing it back because itworks.
You don't need to overhaul yourentire life on Monday morning.
You need to make one small,winnable choice, then stack
another, one on top of it, andanother, and another, and again.
Just to remind you of thosethings, drink a full glass of
water before your first coffee.
Add and again, just to remindyou those things drink a full
glass of water before your firstcoffee.
Add a walk after dinner.
(25:28):
Put your phone down for 30minutes earlier at night and do
some exercise.
Eat a protein-packed breakfastinstead of muffin and pretend
that that's healthy.
You know it's not.
I know these things don't looklike much, but they build
momentum, and momentum is morepowerful than motivation.
The second thing I want you todo is fix your food first.
Here's where the real worklives your meals.
If you're not eating likesomeone who gives a shit about
(25:50):
their body, then no workout'sgoing to save you.
You don't need a meal plan.
You don't.
You don't need to countcalories.
You don't need to do any ofthat.
Here's what you do need to do.
You need to eat real food.
You need to eat a lot ofprotein.
You have to cut out all thatfake health bullshit like oh,
it's gluten-free canola bro.
Now fuck, you know that shit'snot good for you.
(26:13):
Anything that's processed isdog shit.
And stop pretending yourweekend calories don't count and
start with this.
Every meal needs a proteinsource and a plant or a veggie.
So chicken and broccoli and Ipromise you don't have to eat
broccoli until you want to puke,but eggs and spinach, turkey
and green beans.
Just don't complicate it andstop calling it a cheat day when
(26:35):
you really mean.
I blacked out on queso andregret my life Again, guilty,
went to the Mexican restaurantand ate three bowls of chips and
queso.
This is about building trustwith yourself, not gaming the
system.
The third thing you want to dois move every fucking day, move,
move, move.
And guess what?
That's free, no gym, no trainer, no problem, walk, that's it.
(26:59):
Walk, it's free, it's effectiveand it doesn't require any
spandex.
You got to see me in spandex.
It is not a pretty sight.
You're not trying to win theOlympics here.
You're trying to reclaim yourhealth and your confidence.
So get I don't know 5,000,6,000, 7,000 steps a day.
If you can't do that, start outsmaller and work up to it.
Build yourself a little goal,but move.
(27:20):
Put on some music, a podcastthis one might be a good idea.
Or just silence, just move.
And if you want to do somestrength training, that's
fucking great.
If you want to go to the gym,awesome.
I don't.
I never have Well, I have, butI haven't in a very long time
that's fine.
You don't need the gym.
There are literally thousandsof free workouts on YouTube.
If you want to do that, you cando push-ups, you can do squats,
(27:42):
you can even spend 20 bucks toget resistance bands.
You don't need a coach to liftyour own fucking body weight
okay, you don't.
You just need to move.
And then the fourth thing I wantyou to do is track, track
something with brutal honesty,no more mystery math.
Track your food, and I don'tmean count the calories, but I
mean track your food.
Think about what you're eating,be mindful, track your weight,
(28:08):
track your sleep.
You don't need to obsess, justobserve it, because if you're
not measuring it, the truth isyou're really just guessing.
So if you're just kind of goingthrough the day mindlessly and
eating mindlessly, you're nottracking anything.
Again, I'm not saying countcalories, I'm not saying do all
this crazy shit.
Just be aware of what you'reeating.
Because, if we're being honest,most of your guesses are the
lies that you tell yourself tofeel better.
(28:29):
I barely ate yesterday.
No, you snacked all day andforgot about half of it.
Well, I'm not losing weighteven though I'm eating clean.
No, you're overeating almondsand calling it a strategy.
Everything in moderation.
Awareness is the first step incontrol.
The second step, as we know, isownership.
So the next thing is you got tosleep, you got to hydrate and
(28:54):
you got to just chill the fuckout.
If you're sleeping five hours anight, pounding caffeine and
living in a constant state ofstress, of course your body's
holding on to fat.
You got to try to sleep sevenor eight hours.
Drink half your body weight inounces of water, breathe,
stretch, laugh, man, laugh.
Laughter is the greatestmedicine in the world.
(29:15):
Go outside, hang out with yourdog.
You're not just a machinetrying to burn calories.
You're a fucking human beingwho needs recovery and mental
space to function.
The next one and I talked aboutthis a lot last week is make it
boring on purpose.
This is where 99 of the peoplefuck this up.
(29:35):
They get bored and they bail.
But guess what?
Boring is the goal.
Success is not flashy, it's notdramatic, it's not fueled by
transformation montages on yoursocial media.
It's you doing the same basicstuff over and over again when
no one's clapping for you and noone's giving you likes.
When it's boring, that meansit's becoming a habit, and
(29:59):
habits are what create lastingchange.
Habits are what create lastingchange.
The last one and everybody'sguilty of this, I've been guilty
of it my whole life until Iwent on this last journey is
stop waiting for the right time.
There is no perfect Monday.
There's no magical window wherelife just chills out and
(30:21):
everything's good.
If you're waiting for it to geteasier, you'll be waiting
forever.
So start now.
It's okay if it's messy, ifit's imperfect, if you're tired,
if you're frustrated None ofthat matters.
Start by choosing better atyour next meal.
Start by going for a walk afterlistening.
Start by deleting delivery appson your phone and drinking some
(30:43):
fucking water.
Just start, that's it.
Just start.
So I know I covered a lot ofstuff and I told you a lot of
things that you should do andyou shouldn't do, but here's
what I'm going to close with youdon't need a trainer, you need
a choice.
You're literally just onedecision away from momentum, one
(31:03):
small shift away from change.
Trainers are fine when you'realready moving, but if you're
standing still, paralyzed byyour weight and overwhelmed, and
waiting for someone to drag youout of your rut, it's not the
help you need.
It's a choice.
That's what you need.
You need a choice.
You need small, smart choices.
You need stackable habits.
(31:25):
So stop outsourcing all thatshit, stop waiting and stop
pretending you don't know whatto do.
You know, we all know it comespre-wired in us.
You know how to lose weight.
You know how to move by walking, by doing simple things,
dancing, yoga, whatever it isthat you do.
You know how to do all of thisstuff.
(31:48):
It's all about making thechoice to actually do it.
Keep it simple, make it boringand you'll lose the weight.
So that's what my thought abouttrainers.
I think they're a completefucking waste of time and a
complete waste of money.
Unless you're training to be abodybuilder, then of course it
makes a lot of sense.
But if you're just trying tolose weight, you're pissing away
(32:10):
your money on a trainer, you'repissing away your time on a
trainer and you're pissing awayyour motivation on a trainer.
So if you want to hear moreabout how I lost over 140 pounds
in a year well, actually it'smore like a year and a half.
140 pounds in a year.
Well, actually it's more like ayear and a half.
I have a book on Amazon.
It's called Shut Up and Choose,same as this podcast.
(32:31):
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I get emails every single weekabout people telling me they
read it in a couple of hours andit changed their life.
I don't give you any recipes.
I don't give you any meal plans.
I just tell you how to get yourmind in the right place and how
to lose the weight.
Again, it's available on Amazon.
I also have a video course.
It's 23 short videos.
They are about five to sevenminutes each.
You can listen to it in acouple of hours.
(32:52):
It really, if you're more of avisual learner, it really gets
you into that mindset of how Idid it and, honestly, how you
can do it too.
I'm a big believer in mindset iseverything when it comes to
weight loss.
Of course, you have to make theright food choices, but if your
mind's not in the game, yourbody ain't going to follow.
So you can get that videocourse at
(33:13):
learnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
So now that I did mycommercials, I'll sign off.
I'll tell you, like I've saidthree or four times already
today, you know exactly what todo.
You don't need anybody to tellyou how to lose weight.
You don't need someone yellingat you in their Lululemon tights
(33:34):
and telling you good job, justget one.
That's a bunch of bullshit.
This comes down to making thechoice to lose the weight,
making the choice to eat theright foods, making the choice
to take control of your life.
So, really, that's all you needto do Now.
The only thing left for you todo is to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(34:19):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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