April 16, 2025 • 42 mins
Two years ago, I weighed 411 pounds, avoided mirrors, and convinced myself I wasn't "that big." Then came the wake-up call—a birthday photo with a guy in a pink gorilla suit that showed me a truth I could no longer deny. That moment changed everything.
Today, I'm 140 pounds lighter, but what I've gained is far more significant than what I've lost. While the first year of weight loss was about transformation and momentum, the second year taught me the deeper lessons of sustainability. No longer riding the high of dramatic weekly scale victories, I discovered what it truly takes to maintain success without obsession.
The diet industry doesn't want you to know this, but maintaining weight loss isn't about perfect meal plans or endless restriction. It's about rebuilding your relationship with food, learning to trust yourself, and recognizing that joy doesn't have to be the price you pay for health. You can eat pizza, enjoy birthday cake, and live a normal life without spiraling out of control.
Perhaps most importantly, I realized I'm not afraid of regaining the weight—not because I'm special, but because I simply don't think like that 411-pound guy anymore. That version of me made excuses, avoided accountability, and felt powerless. Today, I've not only changed my body but transformed my mindset.
While motivation comes and goes, desire—the deep knowledge of why you're doing this—is what carries you through the tough days. And accountability isn't just a tool but a lifestyle that keeps you honest and focused. You don't need coaches, influencers, or miracle solutions. What you need is to stop outsourcing responsibility and finally take ownership of your choices.
Ready to cut through the bullshit and find your own path to sustainable change? Start today by shutting up and choosing differently. Because nobody is coming to save you—and that's not a defeat, it's your superpower.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast that
cuts through the noise and thenonsense and all the bullshit
that those internet gurus andInstagram influencers are
spewing your way.
I'm here to hopefully help youcut through that noise and find
out what weight loss andsustainable weight loss is
really like.
I'm your host, jonathan Ressler, and today is a really exciting
day for me.
(01:33):
I'm reintroducing myselfbecause this is actually the
one-year anniversary.
I've been podcasting now forone year and this is the
one-year anniversary to the dayof when I put on my first
podcast.
I thought a good idea might beto reintroduce myself.
So if you're new here, welcome.
If you've been rocking with mesince the start, well, damn, hey
(01:54):
, look at us now.
Look at all we've accomplished.
So on the very first episode ofthis podcast, I introduced
myself by telling you how I lost125 pounds naturally, no
surgery, no shots, no magicpills, no crazy cult diets, just
small, smart choices stacked upday after day.
And that first year I wasriding high, finally taking
(02:17):
control of my life.
I talked about my journey, mystruggles, the mindset shift
that changed everything and,honestly, I was pretty proud of
myself man I still am.
But now it's two years.
In two years since I startedthis journey, because I started
the podcast a year into myjourney after I lost that 125
pounds.
Now I'm up to a little bit over140 pounds.
(02:37):
But anyway, it's two years inand I'm not just the guy who
lost a ton of weight anymore,I'm the guy who kept it off, and
that's really kind of anexciting thing.
So in the past year of keepingit off and maintaining, I've
learned even more.
I've stayed consistent, I'veevolved, I've challenged myself
in new ways, and not justphysically but mentally.
(02:58):
I've continued to live thatlifestyle that I built for
myself, without backsliding andI'm not saying I haven't put on
a few pounds and taken them offI certainly have but without
completely backside, basicallywithout starting over and
without falling for the same olddiet traps.
I've gone deeper into what realsustainable change looks like
(03:18):
and I proved to myself andhopefully to you, that this
isn't a phase.
This is who I am now, and if Ican do it, so can you.
So today I want to reintroducemyself, not because I'm someone
new, but because I've grown,I've changed, I've made progress
, and I'm here to share exactlywhat I learned in year two what
(03:40):
worked, what didn't, what I knownow that I didn't know then, so
let's kind of dive in.
So I started, maxed out,bullshitting myself.
I didn't just wake up one dayweighing 411 pounds.
I got there one bite, oneexcuse and one bad choice at a
time over a lot of years.
(04:00):
I was never a skinny guy.
I was always overweight fromthe time I was a little kid.
It took me a lot of years toget up to that 411 pound mark
and I guess it took me 59 years.
So 59, yeah, 59 years.
So I avoided mirrors.
I wore oversized shirts,pretend I wasn't gaining weight
and to hide how big I was.
(04:21):
And I convinced myself I wasbig, but not that big and I was
still healthy.
But the truth, I was killingmyself slowly with every choice
I made, and I knew it.
Physically I was exhausted.
Walking any distance and when Isay distance I'm talking 100
yards was a chore.
I avoided stairs like theplague, flying on an airplane,
(04:44):
fucking humiliating.
My joints hurt, my energy wasshot.
But worse than the physicalpain was the mental weight of
carrying around a body that Icouldn't stand.
I didn't want to go out, Ididn't want to be seen, I didn't
want to see friends and Idefinitely didn't want to deal
with the shame that came withknowing that I completely let
myself go.
Like I said, I was a big guy mywhole life, but this is the
(05:06):
fattest I was.
I can't even explain how Ilooked.
So at that point I had done allthe diets keto, intermittent,
fasting, whole30, shakes, points, juice cleanser, you name it.
I tried it and sure, I woulddefinitely lose weight for a
while, but I always gained itback every fucking time.
(05:26):
Why?
Because the plans, the mealplans, were unsustainable,
because I wasn't changing how Ithought about food.
I was just forcing myselfthrough this restriction until I
just couldn't do it anymore.
The second I messed up, I wasback to binge eating and blaming
myself anymore.
The second I messed up, I wasback to binge eating and blaming
(05:48):
myself.
The real problem wasn't thefood, it was me, my mindset, my
habits and my lack ofaccountability.
So I want to just tell you aboutthe moment that changed
everything for me, and it's allabout a pink gorilla.
I know that sounds crazy, buton April 24th 2023, my 59th
birthday, that's when everythingshifted.
My friend Vicky said she wantedto do something stupid for my
(06:11):
birthday.
I was in Florida, she was inNew Jersey.
So she wanted to do somethingstupid, something that I guess
made me laugh because I was notin a great state of mind.
I'd just gotten out of thehospital for weight-related
issues.
Well, whatever, you can readthat story in my book.
But the next day, while I wassitting in my office on my
(06:31):
birthday, a full-grown guy in apink gorilla suit walked in
singing a birthday song to me.
It was crazy, it was funny andit was kind of strangely
touching.
But then came the moment, thetime that I had to take a photo.
I had to send Vicky a pictureto say thank you, and that's
when the panic hit.
The gorilla smelled like death.
I can't even describe what thegorilla smelled like, but that's
a whole other story.
(06:51):
But, more importantly, I sawmyself in that photo and I
couldn't unsee it.
I was bloated, I was maxed out.
I looked like someone put anair hose up my ass and hit,
inflate.
I was unrecognizable to myself.
Like someone took that air hose, like I said, and inflated me
up to almost like cartoon size.
I looked like Jabba the Hutt.
I can't even describe what Ilooked like.
(07:11):
And I didn't just lookoverweight, I looked sick and I
was sick.
But I looked sick and for thefirst time in a long time I just
couldn't deny it anymore.
I tried my best to edit myselfout of the photo as much as I
could before sending it to her.
It wasn't even close.
I had to be in the photo.
And that photo fucking hauntedme.
(07:33):
It snapped me out of denial andinto a harsh reality check.
I guess alcoholics say they hitbottom or people hit bottom.
I had hit rock bottom and fromthat moment forward I knew
something had to change.
Not a crash diet, not anotherstarting Monday, something real
and something permanent.
So I chose weight loss surgery.
(07:55):
The moment I saw that photo Istarted researching bariatric
surgery.
Maybe this was finally the way,because maybe I just had to let
him cut out a chunk of mystomach and be done with it.
I found this clinic in Mexico.
It was like medical vacation, Ithink it was called.
I was ready to sign up, I evenscheduled the date, but deep
down something felt I don't knowoff.
(08:17):
I felt like cheating.
And I'm not saying thatbariatric surgery is cheating.
It's necessary for some people,but for me I knew I had what it
took to actually do it myself.
I just I was looking for ashortcut that would let me lose
weight without ever having toface the real reasons that I
gained the weight in the firstplace.
Then I started thinking what ifit didn't work?
What if I gained the weightback anyway?
(08:38):
I've read stories of tons ofpeople who've done bariatric
surgery, and they figure out howto eat enough ice cream to put
on weight.
So was I really ready to trademy freedom for a medical
procedure because I didn't trustmyself to do it the right way?
So that night, after I startedthinking all that, I made a deal
with myself.
I had 30 days before thesurgery.
I would try and I mean reallytry to do this on my own.
(09:02):
They suggest that you starteating less before the surgery
because you're going to eat alot less after the surgery.
So I said I'm going to try to dothis on my own.
No gimmicks, no restrictions,just being honest about what I
ate, why I ate it and what Icould change.
And I started making betterchoices, not perfect ones, but
better choices.
Small, smart choices, justbetter ones.
(09:23):
I didn't go all in on somefucking crazy diet plan.
I just started choosingdifferently, one decision at a
time, and I can tell you I wasinto it, I was ready to do it
and it didn't happen overnight.
I didn't wake up the nextmorning 10 pounds lighter.
I did wake up like three orfour pounds lighter.
I was shocked.
But after a few days of reallymindfully eating, so thinking
(09:46):
about what I was putting in mymouth, it all started to click
for me.
I wasn't eating out of boredomor stress nearly as much, and I
was paying attention.
I was drinking water.
I was moving a little bit more.
I really couldn't walk, but Ijust forced myself.
Literally, I was taking 931steps on average a day, and
that's barely getting out of bed.
But I was trying to push thatnumber up.
(10:07):
But slowly but surely, theweight actually started to come
off.
Every pound that I lost wasn'tjust physical, it was emotional.
It was, I guess, for me, alayer of shame and guilt and
powerlessness that was beingstripped away.
I couldn't do anything.
I was so big I realized Ididn't need a coach.
(10:29):
I didn't need a fancy app.
I didn't need to spendthousands of dollars on shots or
pills.
What I needed to do was stopfucking lying to myself, to
basically to shut up and choose,and that became my mantra.
Every time I wanted to make anexcuse or delay a decision, I
reminded myself shut up andchoose.
(10:49):
And I kept choosing everysingle day.
So by the time I got around towriting my book Shut Up and
Choose, I had already lost 125pounds.
Naturally, no surgery, no shots,no bullshit, just
accountability, mindset andconsistent, doable effort.
And that first year taught memore than any diet plan ever had
(11:11):
.
I learned things likemotivation is garbage.
You don't always feel motivated, you just do it anyway.
I learned that small changesmatter.
One better choice at a timeadds up to a huge transformation
.
You're not going to do it allat once.
Small changes really matter.
The third thing I learned ismindset is everything.
(11:33):
If you don't fix your thinking,no amount of meal plans will
help you.
No diet will help you.
No shots will help you.
It'll help you short term, butno amount of bullshit will help
you.
Mindset is everything.
I learned that food isn't goodor bad.
All food fits or at least itfit into my diet.
It's how much and how often youeat that matter.
(11:54):
I told you I fed myself.
I ate bad things.
People quote unquote call badlike donuts.
But food itself isn't good orbad, it's how you eat it and,
like I just said, you can feedyour soul.
You can eat those little treatsand still lose weight.
Deprive myself of all thethings I love would ultimately
lead to failure, but joy leadsto sustainability.
(12:16):
And the biggest thing that Ilearned was you don't need to be
perfect.
You really don't.
If you eat 80% of the time, ifyou eat well, you're going to be
just fine, you're going to loseplenty of weight, so you just
need to show up consistently.
I realized that the problem wasnever the food.
It was my thinking.
It was my avoidance, my refusalto own my choices.
(12:36):
I always said well, you know Ican't make good bullshit.
It was the refusal to own mychoices.
And the moment I stoppedoutsourcing my responsibility to
diets, to influences, tocoaches, to miracle solutions,
and I took it back, everythingchanges.
So I just want to.
I'm giving you a lot ofinformation here and this is
(12:57):
going to be a long podcast, butI think it's worth it because
again, I want to reintroducemyself to the world here.
I started writing my book inmonth 11 of my journey and I
finished it in two weeks andpublished it two weeks later.
I didn't write the book Shut Upand Choose, because I wanted to
be a guru.
I'm not a fitness influencer,I'm not a doctor or a trainer.
I'm just a regular guy like youwho figured out what works and
(13:22):
what doesn't.
I wrote the book because I knowhow hopeless it feels to be
stuck.
I know what it's like to feellike this time won't be any
different, and I know howpowerful it is when you finally
realize you don't need a newdiet.
You need to stop bullshittingyourself.
My readers agreed.
I sold thousands of copies andwe're still selling strong.
We became an Amazon bestsellerand I get emails every week from
(13:45):
people telling me how I'vechanged their lives.
That is by far the biggestbenefit and reward of writing
this book.
To know that I'm helping otherpeople get out of this hole, get
out of this trap of yo-yodieting, is just so gratifying.
The first year of this journeywasn't about becoming someone
else.
It was about becoming me again,becoming me.
(14:07):
I wasn't trying to be someone.
I just wanted to find myself,the version of myself that I
always wanted to be Not perfect,not shredded, just healthy,
confident and finally in control.
And the best part, that wasjust the beginning.
So when I talk about thispodcast.
I do this podcast for one reasonand it's to cut through the
(14:30):
bullshit and tell the truthabout weight loss, even when
it's uncomfortable Well, it'snever really uncomfortable, but
especially when it'suncomfortable for other people.
Every week I show up, not as aguru, not as a trainer, but as
someone who's actually beenthrough it.
I know what it's like to feelstuck, defeated and lied to by
an industry built on keeping youdependent.
(14:51):
Like I said, I've done over 100diets.
I paid my fair share into thediet industry and guess what?
After all that, I was still 411fucking pounds.
The diet and influencer world isa scam, plain and simple.
They'll sell you fakeperfection, unrealistic bodies
and overpriced programs.
Because you ever figure thisout for yourself, you stop
(15:13):
needing them and they can't havethat.
This podcast is hopefullyexposes that and it's also a way
of staying accountable tomyself and hopefully helping you
see what I've come to believedeep in my bones.
No one is coming to save youNot your coach, not your calorie
tracking app, not that shreddedfitness model selling you fat
(15:35):
burners.
The only person you can trulydepend on in this journey is you
.
That's why every episodetackles some lie, some excuse or
some mental roadblock that'sholding people back.
My goal isn't to give youanother plan.
It's to get you in the rightframe of mind to finally take
control.
This is about personalaccountability, simple truth and
(15:59):
learning how to shut up andchoose.
But today I want to talk aboutyear two, because losing weight
is one thing, keeping it offthat's the real game, and now
that I'm two years into thisjourney, I've learned some
things.
Actually, I've learned a lot ofthings.
So today I want to share 10 ofthe biggest lessons that I've
picked up over the last year.
(16:20):
And they're not from a coach,they're not from a plan.
They come from living thisevery single day, and that's
more credible than any fuckinginfluencer or any guy that's
shown you his ripped fucking abs.
That motherfucker never had tolose a pound.
Okay, so let's get into it.
(16:42):
Number one is you can maintainsuccess without obsessing.
In year one, for me, everythingfelt new.
The weight was coming off fast,the winds were big and the
momentum kept me moving forward.
There was some motivation,adrenaline and that intoxicating
feeling of progress.
But let's be honest, that firstyear is still part of the
(17:02):
honeymoon phase.
I was laser focused, prettyobsessed, hopefully in a good
way and everything revolvedaround change.
That's fine when you're intransformation mode, but what
happens after the transformation?
Year two for me was the realtest.
I had to prove to myself that Icould live a normal, balanced
(17:23):
life and still stay on track.
I wasn't losing big chunks ofweight anymore like I was in
year one.
I wasn't celebrating weeklyscale victories, I was just
pretty much maintaining and,like I said, sometimes I put on
a little weight and then I wouldtake it off and that kind of
not having those big scalevictories.
It required a shift, not aneffort but mindset.
(17:44):
So I really I stopped trackingeverybody Not that I ever
tracked everybody, but I was alittle less mindful and I'm not
saying I'm so much more mindfulthan I was in year one but I
stopped logging every step, orreally, actually I really
started logging every step.
I shouldn't say I stopped, Ireally started logging every
step.
But I stopped thinking about it.
I just went out and startedwalking because it felt good and
(18:05):
I really stopped micromanagingmy food.
I didn't fall apart, I didn'tslide back, I stayed consistent
because those habits that Ibuilt, they were already there.
I taught myself how to eat likea normal person how to
recognize hunger, how to stopwhen I was full and how to live
without treating food like areward or a punishment.
And that paid off.
(18:27):
This was the year I realizedthat sustainable weight loss
didn't mean obsessing forever.
You can't live in food jail andexpect to thrive, but if you
build real habits, things thatmake sense, things that feel
good, you don't need to whiteknuckle your way through every
meal, you just fucking live.
You make better choices.
Most of the time, you move yourbody because it feels good, you
(18:51):
stay honest with yourself and,most importantly, you trust that
you're no longer the person whoneeds saving.
You've already saved yourself.
So that was a huge lesson forme.
The second lesson was mindsetis by far your biggest tool, but
it's also your biggest threat.
So if there's one thing that Ilearned in year two, it's that
(19:12):
your mindset doesn't fix itselfjust because you lost the weight
.
Sure, you feel a hell of a lotbetter, you move a lot better,
but your mindset is not fixed.
The way you think the storiesyou tell yourself, little lies
and justifications they don'tvanish when the scale starts
moving in your favor.
In fact, they get sneakier.
In year one, I was hyper awareof my thoughts.
(19:34):
I was fired up, focused andconstantly reminding myself why
I started.
But in year two life got alittle more normal.
The urgency faded a little morenormal.
The urgency faded a little bitand that's when the old thinking
started trying to creep back inhey, you've earned this.
You can have a little bit more,you can eat a little bit more.
And, like I said, there weretimes when I put on weight,
weeks when I put on weight.
(19:55):
One little treat's not going tokill me.
Right, you worked hard.
Relax.
Right, you worked hard, relax.
If any of that sounds familiar,that's not hunger talking,
that's old programming.
And if you're not careful it'llstart running the show again.
And for me I had to be careful.
I let myself go a couple oftimes, eat more than I should
have, let that old mentalprogram creep back in.
But I recognize it.
I realize that mindset is amuscle and if you don't keep
(20:18):
working it it weakens.
The same mental habits thathelped me lose the weight needed
to be retrained.
In year two, I kept catchingmyself in those thoughts and
replacing them with better ones.
I kept telling myself the truth, even when it was uncomfortable
(20:50):
, and, more than anything, Istopped pretending that weight
loss is just physical.
It's not, it's fucking mentalwarfare.
And if you're not payingattention to your thoughts,
you're not in control.
Your old habits are.
So the third thing that Ilearned was you don't need
(21:11):
permission, you need ownership.
So one of the biggest mindsetshifts I made in year two was
realizing I don't need anybodyelse's permission to take care
of myself, and I don't needanybody else to tell me to take
care of myself, because itdoesn't work.
I don't need a coach tovalidate my food choices.
I didn't need a meal plan totell me when to eat.
I don't need some rippedjerk-off influencer shouting
(21:34):
macros at me through the phone,because deep down, I already
know what to do, and you do too.
We all do.
Eat mostly real food.
Move your body.
Don't eat like a fucking idiot.
We pretend we need a new mealplan or some secret system, but
what we really need is to stopbullshitting ourselves and take
(21:56):
responsibility.
In year one I had moments whereI looked outward, where I looked
for somebody else.
What's the best way to do this?
Should I be doing KIO?
Should I track everybody?
And sure, those questions arenormal in the beginning, but in
year two I finally realized.
The question isn't what's thebest plan.
The question is am I going toown my choices today or not?
(22:17):
Period today or not?
Period that shift fromconstantly seeking to finally
choosing changed everything.
I didn't need a new strategy.
I needed to stop outsourcing myresponsibility.
No one was going to swoop inand fix my life.
No one was coming to save me.
And that's not defeatist, it'sempowering, because once you
take full ownership, you realizethe only person who can truly
(22:40):
change your life is you.
And let me tell you that owningyour own shit is a superpower.
Once you do that, no one cantake it away from you.
You're not dependent, you'renot confused, you're just in
charge.
Huge lesson for me.
The fourth lesson I learned isfood is not the enemy, but
(23:02):
neither is joy.
Right.
This was a big one for me inyear two, realizing that food
isn't the enemy and neither isenjoying it.
For so long I believed that if Iwanted to be healthy, I had to
eat like a robot, that I had tostrip every ounce of joy from my
meals and live on fuckinggrilled chicken and sadness.
But let me tell you somethingthat's not living, that's
(23:22):
punishment disguised asdiscipline.
In year one, I learned how tolose weight In year two.
I learned how to keep it offwithout being miserable, and
that meant giving myselfpermission to eat foods.
I actually enjoy Pizza, donutsyou always hear me talk about
donuts, burgers and the stuffthat diet culture says is going
to ruin you.
But here's the key I don'tbinge on that shit.
(23:43):
I don't eat it because I'm sador I'm stressed, and I don't use
them to numb out or distractmyself.
I enjoy them mindfully, withoutguilt, and then I move on.
Joy doesn't have to be the priceyou pay for being healthy.
In fact, if your plan doesn'tmake room for joy, it's not a
plan you'll stick with.
I stopped seeing food as goodand bad and started seeing for
(24:05):
what it really is fuel, but alsopleasure, connection and
celebration.
It can't just be fuel for you.
It has to give you pleasure,help you connect with people and
eat it when you're celebrating.
Look, a salad's not going tofix your life and a fucking
donut won't ruin it.
What matters is how you thinkabout it.
(24:26):
What matters is how you respondafter Health and happiness can
exist in the same meal, and whenthey do.
That's where the real freedomstarts.
Number five, big one for me, I'mnot afraid of gaining the
weight back because I don'tthink like that guy anymore.
People ask me sometimes aren'tyou scared you'll gain all the
(24:48):
weight back?
And honestly, no, I'm not.
Not because I think I'm immuneor special or above slipping up.
I'm definitely not.
I'm.
I'm more human.
Well, I guess I'm.
I'm a human being.
But the reason I'm not afraidis simple.
I don't think like that411-pound guy anymore, that old
version of me, the one thatavoided mirrors and dodged
(25:08):
pictures and got winded walkingup a flight of stairs.
He's gone, not just physicallybut mentally.
That guy made excuses, that guyjustified every bad habit and
that guy felt hopeless and stuckand told himself that change
was for other people, not him.
But that's not how I thinkanymore.
I don't eat like him, I don'tact like him.
(25:30):
I don't lie to myself like hedid.
I've done the hard work, notjust to lose the weight but to
shift the way I see myself andmy choices.
That's what people don't talkabout enough your internal work,
the internal work that you haveto do.
You can change your body.
Sure, it's easy, well, easy.
No, fuck that.
It's easy to lose weight.
But if you don't change the wayyou think you'll always go back
(25:53):
to who you were, and I'm nevergoing back to that guy.
Year two showed me that I builtsomething that lasts not just a
smaller body but a strongermindset, and that's why I'm not
afraid of going back, becauseI've grown that old identity.
I've replaced it with someonewho shows up, who takes
ownership and who doesn't letsetbacks turn into fucking
(26:14):
spirals.
So no, I'm not scared, becauseI'm not that guy anymore.
Lesson number six was thatdesire always wins.
If year one was about amomentum, year two was about
maintenance, and that's wheredesire really took center stage,
my desire to live a long lifeand be healthy.
(26:36):
The hype was gone.
I wasn't waking up every day toa new milestone or dropping
pounds every week.
The before and after photos,shit, shit.
I already put them up, theywere already posted, the
compliments slowed down and,honestly, the novelty wore off.
And that's where most peoplequit.
That's where I always used toquit After I lose the weight.
Well, you know, I'm done and Istart to go back to my old self.
(26:58):
So that's where most peoplequit, because the fireworks stop
and the grind begins.
But here's what I learned inyear two Desire always wins when
you know why you want to losethe weight and I mean really
know why nothing can stop you.
And if you want to learn aboutyour why and my why, it's all in
(27:18):
my book.
But my why was, honestly, to bealive.
That's a pretty fucking strongwhy.
So motivation, eh, motivationis bullshit, it's flaky, it's
emotional, it shows up when itwants and disappears.
The second life getsinconvenient.
But desire, desire is a choiceand it's not exciting, but it's
dependable.
It's doing what you said you'ddo long ago.
(27:39):
After the mood you made, thatpromise is gone.
So there are plenty of days Ididn't feel like walking, plenty
of days I didn't want to makethe better food choice.
But I did it anyway, notperfectly, not obsessively, just
consistently, because I knew itwas on the line and, more
importantly, I knew who I didn'twant to become.
(28:00):
Again, year two taught me thatlong-term success isn't built on
big wins or viral moments.
I mean, sure, they're nice, butit's built on boring,
predictable, unsexy desire and Ihate this word.
But discipline, the stuff thatno one wants to talk about
because it doesn't sell programsand doesn't get likes.
(28:22):
But that's what separates thepeople who maintain their
progress from the ones who startover every January.
You know all the people thattheir New Year's resolutions
yeah, I'm going to join the gymand get fit that's bullshit.
You don't need to be fired up,you just need to keep showing up
because, at the end of the day,desire is so much greater than
motivation, always Okay.
(28:48):
So the seventh lesson is that Ican enjoy life and stay healthy
at the same time.
Wow, that's a pretty crazythought.
Year two proved something to me,and it was something big.
You don't have to put your lifeon hold to stay healthy.
You don't need to cancelvacations or skip birthdays or
turn down dinner with friendsjust because you're trying to
lose weight or keep it off.
That all-or-nothing mindsetthat we've been sold it's
(29:09):
bullshit.
I went on trips.
I ate out, ate birthday cakemore than once, and guess what?
I didn't spiral.
I didn't go off the rails orwake up 10 pounds heavier.
I didn't blow it or start overon Monday.
Why?
Because I've learned how tonavigate real life, not hide
from it.
That was a turning point for mein year two.
I stopped trying to protect myprogress by isolating myself
(29:32):
from, I guess, normalexperiences.
Instead, I just startedtrusting myself to make better
choices wherever I am, whetherI'm at home or at a restaurant
or on a beach somewhere.
It's not about perfection.
It's about being present andbeing mindful.
I learned that health andhappiness are not opposites.
You can enjoy your life andstay on track at the same time.
(29:53):
You can eat well most of thetime, move your body fairly,
consistency and still leave roomfor fun.
In fact, that's exactly whatmakes this lifestyle sustainable
.
In fact, that's exactly whatmakes this lifestyle sustainable
, because the truth is, youdon't win big at this game by
being perfect.
You win by learning how to livea normal, joyful, flexible life
(30:15):
without losing yourself in theprocess.
That's what I did in year two,and it made everything easier.
The next lesson, lesson numbereight, is accountability is a
lifestyle.
That's something I didn'texpect when I started this
podcast how much it would holdme accountable.
(30:37):
Sure, I wanted to help otherpeople.
I wanted to share what Ilearned and expose the nonsense
of the weight loss world, butwhat I didn't realize at the
beginning was just how much Ineeded to do this podcast too.
This podcast is not just foryou, it's for me.
Saying it out loud keeps mehonest.
It reminds me of what matters.
It forces me to stay alignedwith the person I've worked so
(30:59):
fucking hard to become.
When I talk about consistency,about making smart choices, when
I talk about consistency, aboutmaking smart choices, about not
falling for influencer bullshit, I'm not preaching.
I'm reminding myself of thesame thing at that time and
every single week.
I don't need a coach yellingmacros at me.
I don't need a calorie trackerto hold my hand.
(31:20):
I need to keep showing up formyself and for you, because
accountability isn't somethingyou do once in a while when you
feel off track.
It's a lifestyle.
It's how you stay in the game.
The more real I am about thisprocess, the ups and the downs,
the days I nail it and the daysI don't, the more grounded I
(31:41):
stay.
That's the magic ofaccountability.
It doesn't just keep you fromslipping.
It keeps you engaged, presentand focused on what matters most
.
And I will tell you, sometimeseating a donut or eating a
birthday cake matters the most.
Enjoying that celebrationmatters the most.
So if you're out there trying todo this alone, don't Find a way
to stay accountable.
Whether it's a podcast, ajournal, a friend, they're just
(32:04):
looking at yourself in themirror and being brutally honest
.
Because when you stay honestwith yourself.
You stay in control, and rightnow I am completely in control
of my journey Number nine.
I don't need to be shredded tobe powerful.
So look, let's get somethingstraight.
(32:25):
I didn't do all this to getsix-pack abs.
I will never have six-pack abs.
I'm not trying to look likesome 25-year-old fitness
influencer who spends his lifein the gym, eats plain chicken
out of fucking Tupperware andhas professional lighting in
every room of his house.
That's not my life and, moreimportantly, that's not my goal.
(32:45):
What I'm chasing and what I'vebuilt is something way more
valuable Energy, confidence anda life that actually feels good
to live.
I want to wake up and feelstrong.
I want to walk into a room andnot feel like I need to hide.
I want to move through my daywithout joint pain, exhaustion
(33:05):
or embarrassment.
Do you know how embarrassing itis not to want to sit on a
chair because you're afraid itwon't hold your weight?
Do you know how embarrassing itis to be afraid or to know that
you need a seatbelt extender onan airplane?
So I want to be able to walkthrough life without
embarrassment.
You know what?
That's exactly what I'veachieved.
Year two showed me you don'thave to be shredded to be
powerful.
(33:26):
You don't need 8% body fat tofeel proud of yourself.
I've said this a hundred timesby the National Health
Organization or whatever.
I'm still obese.
I don't give a shit.
I'm not obese in my head.
Yes, my body fat may be toohigh my body mass index but fuck
that man.
I feel great.
I feel the best I've ever felt.
(33:46):
I'm 140-some-odd pounds lighter.
Confidence for me and confidencefor you.
It doesn't come from reflection.
It comes from your actions.
It comes from knowing you'redoing the work, you're showing
up for yourself and you'reliving life on your own terms.
And let's be honest, people whoobsess over being lean and
(34:07):
ripped year round, most of themare fucking miserable.
Or they're on something orthey're lying.
That's just not my lane.
That's not my scene.
My lane is real life, fitness,sustainable health, functional
strength and self-respect.
That's what I care about.
So, no, I'm not shredded and Idon't need to be.
(34:27):
I feel strong, I feel incontrol and I feel like myself
again.
That's power and that's the win.
And lesson number 10 is helpingothers helps me to stay focused.
When I started this journey, itwas about survival.
Honestly, I was ready to die.
I just came out of the hospital.
(34:48):
I was 411 pounds.
I was on eight differentmedications to keep my body
going.
I needed to save my own lifeperiod.
But something changed along theway and as I began to share my
story, people started reachingout A DM here, an email there.
Hey, your podcast helped me getoff the couch.
Today I finally stopped beatingmyself up because of what you
(35:10):
said.
Last week I saw myself in yourstory and that's when it hit me.
This isn't just about meanymore.
Every time someone tells methis podcast helped them, even
in a small way, it reminds mewhy I keep showing up, because
truthfully, helping others helpsme to stay focused.
It helps me to stay grounded.
It forces me to stay honest.
(35:31):
It's easy to fall into oldpatterns when no one's watching,
but when I know someone's outthere listening, when I know
you're out there listening towhat I say, someone counting on
a little bit of honesty, alittle clarity, a little
reminder to keep choosing better, that keeps me sharp.
I don't come on here pretendingto have all the answers.
(35:51):
I'm not some perfect coach witha shredded body and a clean,
beautiful Instagram aesthetic.
If you looked at my Instagramyou know I'm just a guy who
figured out how to lose 140pounds and not hate himself in
the process, and now I'm doingeverything I can to help you do
the same, without the bullshit,without the shame, without
(36:11):
selling your soul to fuckingdiet culture.
We're in this together.
This is not just a feel goodline, it's real.
We are in this together.
My journey helps you and,honestly, your journey helps me.
The more I give, the more Istay focused on what actually
matters Truth, effort and notgiving up.
(36:33):
This has been just the mostremarkable two years of my life.
Doing this and last year reallychanged the person that I am.
I am a completely differentperson, which is why I wanted to
reintroduce myself in thisepisode, but it wouldn't be a
complete episode, and there's noway that I could talk about
(36:54):
this journey, thistransformation, without thanking
the person who unknowingly litthe fuse, and that is my
girlfriend Vicki.
She'll never take credit for it.
She'll tell you you're the onewho did the work, you made the
choices, and she's right.
I did make the choices, but shegave me the moment that made
that choice possible.
(37:15):
That pink gorilla on my 59thbirthday wasn't just some
ridiculous surprise.
It was the moment I saw myself,clearly, for the first time in
years.
It was the slap in the face.
I didn't know I needed, it wasfunny, stupid and I mean totally
unexpected, but it brokesomething open in me, it shook
(37:37):
me and that moment led toeverything else.
So over the past two years,vicky has shown me love,
patience, support and belief,even when I didn't fully believe
in myself.
She never lectured me, shenever judged me, she never told
me what to do.
She just kept showing up withkindness, honesty and love.
Honestly, she made me feelworth saving.
(37:57):
While I may have done the workand changed the habits and shown
up every day, her love made mewant to be better For myself,
yes, but also because shebelieved in a version of me that
I hadn't met yet.
So, vicki, you say you didn't doanything, but you did
everything, reminded me of who Icould be, you got me started
(38:19):
and you never let me forget whyI started.
You didn't just save my life,you gave me a reason to fight
for it.
Thank you from the deepestplace in my heart, thank you,
and I love you.
So that's it.
I mean, yes, year two wasdifferent.
(38:39):
It was quieter, it was steadier, maybe even harder in some ways
, but it proved what I reallyneeded to know that this isn't a
phase.
This is who I am now, and if Ican live this way, so can you.
You don't need a perfect plan.
You don't need some fuckingguru or coach, and you sure as
(39:03):
shit don't need anyone'spermission, guru or coach, and
you sure as shit don't needanyone's permission.
You really, really and trulyjust need to shut up and choose
every day.
That's it.
That's all it takes.
You can do this once you acceptthe responsibility.
So I'll tell you.
For those of you who are newhere, you can buy my book Shut
(39:26):
Up and Choose on Amazon.
We're an Amazon bestseller, asI told you before.
I get emails all the time frompeople telling me how my book
saved their life, and that's themost gratifying part of this
entire journey.
I have a video course thatreally teaches you how to get
your head in the game, becausethis is mental warfare.
This is all about the mental.
Yeah, physically losing weightis simple, right?
Burn more calories than youconsume.
(39:48):
There's no other way.
That's it.
Whether you do it through keto,paleo, it doesn't matter.
You have to burn more caloriesthan you consume.
So I have a 20 plus videocourse and, by the way, that
sounds like a lot of shit, butthe truth is you probably watch
it in under two hours, but it'sa 20 plus video course on how to
get into the right mindset.
(40:08):
It's called the EffortlessWeight Loss Academy because,
honestly, weight loss should beeffortless.
It shouldn't be a struggle.
Once you get your head in thegame, it becomes easy, and
people always go nuts when I sayit's easy, but I promise you,
when you get your head in thegame, it becomes easy.
You can get the EffortlessWeight Loss Academy at
learnshutupandchoosecom.
(40:30):
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
So that's it for today.
I'm so excited to be two yearsinto this and be over 140 pounds
lighter.
It was hard work, but it waseasy, if that makes any sense.
Once I got my head into thegame and I started making the
choices and I let myself realizethat it's not about perfection.
It's about showing up that noone was coming to save me, that
(40:52):
I'm the only one that can savemyself.
It's the greatesttransformation I feel, the best
I felt in God, 30 plus years.
It's just incredible.
If I did it, you can do it too.
Now the only thing left for youto do is to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(41:33):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find jonathan on
instagram at jonathan wrestlerboca raton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast that
cuts through the noise and thenonsense and all the bullshit
that those internet gurus andInstagram influencers are
spewing your way.
I'm here to hopefully help youcut through that noise and find
out what weight loss andsustainable weight loss is
really like.
I'm your host, jonathan Ressler, and today is a really exciting
day for me.
(01:33):
I'm reintroducing myselfbecause this is actually the
one-year anniversary.
I've been podcasting now forone year and this is the
one-year anniversary to the dayof when I put on my first
podcast.
I thought a good idea might beto reintroduce myself.
So if you're new here, welcome.
If you've been rocking with mesince the start, well, damn, hey
(01:54):
, look at us now.
Look at all we've accomplished.
So on the very first episode ofthis podcast, I introduced
myself by telling you how I lost125 pounds naturally, no
surgery, no shots, no magicpills, no crazy cult diets, just
small, smart choices stacked upday after day.
And that first year I wasriding high, finally taking
(02:17):
control of my life.
I talked about my journey, mystruggles, the mindset shift
that changed everything and,honestly, I was pretty proud of
myself man I still am.
But now it's two years.
In two years since I startedthis journey, because I started
the podcast a year into myjourney after I lost that 125
pounds.
Now I'm up to a little bit over140 pounds.
(02:37):
But anyway, it's two years inand I'm not just the guy who
lost a ton of weight anymore,I'm the guy who kept it off, and
that's really kind of anexciting thing.
So in the past year of keepingit off and maintaining, I've
learned even more.
I've stayed consistent, I'veevolved, I've challenged myself
in new ways, and not justphysically but mentally.
(02:58):
I've continued to live thatlifestyle that I built for
myself, without backsliding andI'm not saying I haven't put on
a few pounds and taken them offI certainly have but without
completely backside, basicallywithout starting over and
without falling for the same olddiet traps.
I've gone deeper into what realsustainable change looks like
(03:18):
and I proved to myself andhopefully to you, that this
isn't a phase.
This is who I am now, and if Ican do it, so can you.
So today I want to reintroducemyself, not because I'm someone
new, but because I've grown,I've changed, I've made progress
, and I'm here to share exactlywhat I learned in year two what
(03:40):
worked, what didn't, what I knownow that I didn't know then, so
let's kind of dive in.
So I started, maxed out,bullshitting myself.
I didn't just wake up one dayweighing 411 pounds.
I got there one bite, oneexcuse and one bad choice at a
time over a lot of years.
(04:00):
I was never a skinny guy.
I was always overweight fromthe time I was a little kid.
It took me a lot of years toget up to that 411 pound mark
and I guess it took me 59 years.
So 59, yeah, 59 years.
So I avoided mirrors.
I wore oversized shirts,pretend I wasn't gaining weight
and to hide how big I was.
(04:21):
And I convinced myself I wasbig, but not that big and I was
still healthy.
But the truth, I was killingmyself slowly with every choice
I made, and I knew it.
Physically I was exhausted.
Walking any distance and when Isay distance I'm talking 100
yards was a chore.
I avoided stairs like theplague, flying on an airplane,
(04:44):
fucking humiliating.
My joints hurt, my energy wasshot.
But worse than the physicalpain was the mental weight of
carrying around a body that Icouldn't stand.
I didn't want to go out, Ididn't want to be seen, I didn't
want to see friends and Idefinitely didn't want to deal
with the shame that came withknowing that I completely let
myself go.
Like I said, I was a big guy mywhole life, but this is the
(05:06):
fattest I was.
I can't even explain how Ilooked.
So at that point I had done allthe diets keto, intermittent,
fasting, whole30, shakes, points, juice cleanser, you name it.
I tried it and sure, I woulddefinitely lose weight for a
while, but I always gained itback every fucking time.
(05:26):
Why?
Because the plans, the mealplans, were unsustainable,
because I wasn't changing how Ithought about food.
I was just forcing myselfthrough this restriction until I
just couldn't do it anymore.
The second I messed up, I wasback to binge eating and blaming
myself anymore.
The second I messed up, I wasback to binge eating and blaming
(05:48):
myself.
The real problem wasn't thefood, it was me, my mindset, my
habits and my lack ofaccountability.
So I want to just tell you aboutthe moment that changed
everything for me, and it's allabout a pink gorilla.
I know that sounds crazy, buton April 24th 2023, my 59th
birthday, that's when everythingshifted.
My friend Vicky said she wantedto do something stupid for my
(06:11):
birthday.
I was in Florida, she was inNew Jersey.
So she wanted to do somethingstupid, something that I guess
made me laugh because I was notin a great state of mind.
I'd just gotten out of thehospital for weight-related
issues.
Well, whatever, you can readthat story in my book.
But the next day, while I wassitting in my office on my
(06:31):
birthday, a full-grown guy in apink gorilla suit walked in
singing a birthday song to me.
It was crazy, it was funny andit was kind of strangely
touching.
But then came the moment, thetime that I had to take a photo.
I had to send Vicky a pictureto say thank you, and that's
when the panic hit.
The gorilla smelled like death.
I can't even describe what thegorilla smelled like, but that's
a whole other story.
(06:51):
But, more importantly, I sawmyself in that photo and I
couldn't unsee it.
I was bloated, I was maxed out.
I looked like someone put anair hose up my ass and hit,
inflate.
I was unrecognizable to myself.
Like someone took that air hose, like I said, and inflated me
up to almost like cartoon size.
I looked like Jabba the Hutt.
I can't even describe what Ilooked like.
(07:11):
And I didn't just lookoverweight, I looked sick and I
was sick.
But I looked sick and for thefirst time in a long time I just
couldn't deny it anymore.
I tried my best to edit myselfout of the photo as much as I
could before sending it to her.
It wasn't even close.
I had to be in the photo.
And that photo fucking hauntedme.
(07:33):
It snapped me out of denial andinto a harsh reality check.
I guess alcoholics say they hitbottom or people hit bottom.
I had hit rock bottom and fromthat moment forward I knew
something had to change.
Not a crash diet, not anotherstarting Monday, something real
and something permanent.
So I chose weight loss surgery.
(07:55):
The moment I saw that photo Istarted researching bariatric
surgery.
Maybe this was finally the way,because maybe I just had to let
him cut out a chunk of mystomach and be done with it.
I found this clinic in Mexico.
It was like medical vacation, Ithink it was called.
I was ready to sign up, I evenscheduled the date, but deep
down something felt I don't knowoff.
(08:17):
I felt like cheating.
And I'm not saying thatbariatric surgery is cheating.
It's necessary for some people,but for me I knew I had what it
took to actually do it myself.
I just I was looking for ashortcut that would let me lose
weight without ever having toface the real reasons that I
gained the weight in the firstplace.
Then I started thinking what ifit didn't work?
What if I gained the weightback anyway?
(08:38):
I've read stories of tons ofpeople who've done bariatric
surgery, and they figure out howto eat enough ice cream to put
on weight.
So was I really ready to trademy freedom for a medical
procedure because I didn't trustmyself to do it the right way?
So that night, after I startedthinking all that, I made a deal
with myself.
I had 30 days before thesurgery.
I would try and I mean reallytry to do this on my own.
(09:02):
They suggest that you starteating less before the surgery
because you're going to eat alot less after the surgery.
So I said I'm going to try to dothis on my own.
No gimmicks, no restrictions,just being honest about what I
ate, why I ate it and what Icould change.
And I started making betterchoices, not perfect ones, but
better choices.
Small, smart choices, justbetter ones.
(09:23):
I didn't go all in on somefucking crazy diet plan.
I just started choosingdifferently, one decision at a
time, and I can tell you I wasinto it, I was ready to do it
and it didn't happen overnight.
I didn't wake up the nextmorning 10 pounds lighter.
I did wake up like three orfour pounds lighter.
I was shocked.
But after a few days of reallymindfully eating, so thinking
(09:46):
about what I was putting in mymouth, it all started to click
for me.
I wasn't eating out of boredomor stress nearly as much, and I
was paying attention.
I was drinking water.
I was moving a little bit more.
I really couldn't walk, but Ijust forced myself.
Literally, I was taking 931steps on average a day, and
that's barely getting out of bed.
But I was trying to push thatnumber up.
(10:07):
But slowly but surely, theweight actually started to come
off.
Every pound that I lost wasn'tjust physical, it was emotional.
It was, I guess, for me, alayer of shame and guilt and
powerlessness that was beingstripped away.
I couldn't do anything.
I was so big I realized Ididn't need a coach.
(10:29):
I didn't need a fancy app.
I didn't need to spendthousands of dollars on shots or
pills.
What I needed to do was stopfucking lying to myself, to
basically to shut up and choose,and that became my mantra.
Every time I wanted to make anexcuse or delay a decision, I
reminded myself shut up andchoose.
(10:49):
And I kept choosing everysingle day.
So by the time I got around towriting my book Shut Up and
Choose, I had already lost 125pounds.
Naturally, no surgery, no shots,no bullshit, just
accountability, mindset andconsistent, doable effort.
And that first year taught memore than any diet plan ever had
(11:11):
.
I learned things likemotivation is garbage.
You don't always feel motivated, you just do it anyway.
I learned that small changesmatter.
One better choice at a timeadds up to a huge transformation
.
You're not going to do it allat once.
Small changes really matter.
The third thing I learned ismindset is everything.
(11:33):
If you don't fix your thinking,no amount of meal plans will
help you.
No diet will help you.
No shots will help you.
It'll help you short term, butno amount of bullshit will help
you.
Mindset is everything.
I learned that food isn't goodor bad.
All food fits or at least itfit into my diet.
It's how much and how often youeat that matter.
(11:54):
I told you I fed myself.
I ate bad things.
People quote unquote call badlike donuts.
But food itself isn't good orbad, it's how you eat it and,
like I just said, you can feedyour soul.
You can eat those little treatsand still lose weight.
Deprive myself of all thethings I love would ultimately
lead to failure, but joy leadsto sustainability.
(12:16):
And the biggest thing that Ilearned was you don't need to be
perfect.
You really don't.
If you eat 80% of the time, ifyou eat well, you're going to be
just fine, you're going to loseplenty of weight, so you just
need to show up consistently.
I realized that the problem wasnever the food.
It was my thinking.
It was my avoidance, my refusalto own my choices.
(12:36):
I always said well, you know Ican't make good bullshit.
It was the refusal to own mychoices.
And the moment I stoppedoutsourcing my responsibility to
diets, to influences, tocoaches, to miracle solutions,
and I took it back, everythingchanges.
So I just want to.
I'm giving you a lot ofinformation here and this is
(12:57):
going to be a long podcast, butI think it's worth it because
again, I want to reintroducemyself to the world here.
I started writing my book inmonth 11 of my journey and I
finished it in two weeks andpublished it two weeks later.
I didn't write the book Shut Upand Choose, because I wanted to
be a guru.
I'm not a fitness influencer,I'm not a doctor or a trainer.
I'm just a regular guy like youwho figured out what works and
(13:22):
what doesn't.
I wrote the book because I knowhow hopeless it feels to be
stuck.
I know what it's like to feellike this time won't be any
different, and I know howpowerful it is when you finally
realize you don't need a newdiet.
You need to stop bullshittingyourself.
My readers agreed.
I sold thousands of copies andwe're still selling strong.
We became an Amazon bestsellerand I get emails every week from
(13:45):
people telling me how I'vechanged their lives.
That is by far the biggestbenefit and reward of writing
this book.
To know that I'm helping otherpeople get out of this hole, get
out of this trap of yo-yodieting, is just so gratifying.
The first year of this journeywasn't about becoming someone
else.
It was about becoming me again,becoming me.
(14:07):
I wasn't trying to be someone.
I just wanted to find myself,the version of myself that I
always wanted to be Not perfect,not shredded, just healthy,
confident and finally in control.
And the best part, that wasjust the beginning.
So when I talk about thispodcast.
I do this podcast for one reasonand it's to cut through the
(14:30):
bullshit and tell the truthabout weight loss, even when
it's uncomfortable Well, it'snever really uncomfortable, but
especially when it'suncomfortable for other people.
Every week I show up, not as aguru, not as a trainer, but as
someone who's actually beenthrough it.
I know what it's like to feelstuck, defeated and lied to by
an industry built on keeping youdependent.
(14:51):
Like I said, I've done over 100diets.
I paid my fair share into thediet industry and guess what?
After all that, I was still 411fucking pounds.
The diet and influencer world isa scam, plain and simple.
They'll sell you fakeperfection, unrealistic bodies
and overpriced programs.
Because you ever figure thisout for yourself, you stop
(15:13):
needing them and they can't havethat.
This podcast is hopefullyexposes that and it's also a way
of staying accountable tomyself and hopefully helping you
see what I've come to believedeep in my bones.
No one is coming to save youNot your coach, not your calorie
tracking app, not that shreddedfitness model selling you fat
(15:35):
burners.
The only person you can trulydepend on in this journey is you
.
That's why every episodetackles some lie, some excuse or
some mental roadblock that'sholding people back.
My goal isn't to give youanother plan.
It's to get you in the rightframe of mind to finally take
control.
This is about personalaccountability, simple truth and
(15:59):
learning how to shut up andchoose.
But today I want to talk aboutyear two, because losing weight
is one thing, keeping it offthat's the real game, and now
that I'm two years into thisjourney, I've learned some
things.
Actually, I've learned a lot ofthings.
So today I want to share 10 ofthe biggest lessons that I've
picked up over the last year.
(16:20):
And they're not from a coach,they're not from a plan.
They come from living thisevery single day, and that's
more credible than any fuckinginfluencer or any guy that's
shown you his ripped fucking abs.
That motherfucker never had tolose a pound.
Okay, so let's get into it.
(16:42):
Number one is you can maintainsuccess without obsessing.
In year one, for me, everythingfelt new.
The weight was coming off fast,the winds were big and the
momentum kept me moving forward.
There was some motivation,adrenaline and that intoxicating
feeling of progress.
But let's be honest, that firstyear is still part of the
(17:02):
honeymoon phase.
I was laser focused, prettyobsessed, hopefully in a good
way and everything revolvedaround change.
That's fine when you're intransformation mode, but what
happens after the transformation?
Year two for me was the realtest.
I had to prove to myself that Icould live a normal, balanced
(17:23):
life and still stay on track.
I wasn't losing big chunks ofweight anymore like I was in
year one.
I wasn't celebrating weeklyscale victories, I was just
pretty much maintaining and,like I said, sometimes I put on
a little weight and then I wouldtake it off and that kind of
not having those big scalevictories.
It required a shift, not aneffort but mindset.
(17:44):
So I really I stopped trackingeverybody Not that I ever
tracked everybody, but I was alittle less mindful and I'm not
saying I'm so much more mindfulthan I was in year one but I
stopped logging every step, orreally, actually I really
started logging every step.
I shouldn't say I stopped, Ireally started logging every
step.
But I stopped thinking about it.
I just went out and startedwalking because it felt good and
(18:05):
I really stopped micromanagingmy food.
I didn't fall apart, I didn'tslide back, I stayed consistent
because those habits that Ibuilt, they were already there.
I taught myself how to eat likea normal person how to
recognize hunger, how to stopwhen I was full and how to live
without treating food like areward or a punishment.
And that paid off.
(18:27):
This was the year I realizedthat sustainable weight loss
didn't mean obsessing forever.
You can't live in food jail andexpect to thrive, but if you
build real habits, things thatmake sense, things that feel
good, you don't need to whiteknuckle your way through every
meal, you just fucking live.
You make better choices.
Most of the time, you move yourbody because it feels good, you
(18:51):
stay honest with yourself and,most importantly, you trust that
you're no longer the person whoneeds saving.
You've already saved yourself.
So that was a huge lesson forme.
The second lesson was mindsetis by far your biggest tool, but
it's also your biggest threat.
So if there's one thing that Ilearned in year two, it's that
(19:12):
your mindset doesn't fix itselfjust because you lost the weight
.
Sure, you feel a hell of a lotbetter, you move a lot better,
but your mindset is not fixed.
The way you think the storiesyou tell yourself, little lies
and justifications they don'tvanish when the scale starts
moving in your favor.
In fact, they get sneakier.
In year one, I was hyper awareof my thoughts.
(19:34):
I was fired up, focused andconstantly reminding myself why
I started.
But in year two life got alittle more normal.
The urgency faded a little morenormal.
The urgency faded a little bitand that's when the old thinking
started trying to creep back inhey, you've earned this.
You can have a little bit more,you can eat a little bit more.
And, like I said, there weretimes when I put on weight,
weeks when I put on weight.
(19:55):
One little treat's not going tokill me.
Right, you worked hard.
Relax.
Right, you worked hard, relax.
If any of that sounds familiar,that's not hunger talking,
that's old programming.
And if you're not careful it'llstart running the show again.
And for me I had to be careful.
I let myself go a couple oftimes, eat more than I should
have, let that old mentalprogram creep back in.
But I recognize it.
I realize that mindset is amuscle and if you don't keep
(20:18):
working it it weakens.
The same mental habits thathelped me lose the weight needed
to be retrained.
In year two, I kept catchingmyself in those thoughts and
replacing them with better ones.
I kept telling myself the truth, even when it was uncomfortable
(20:50):
, and, more than anything, Istopped pretending that weight
loss is just physical.
It's not, it's fucking mentalwarfare.
And if you're not payingattention to your thoughts,
you're not in control.
Your old habits are.
So the third thing that Ilearned was you don't need
(21:11):
permission, you need ownership.
So one of the biggest mindsetshifts I made in year two was
realizing I don't need anybodyelse's permission to take care
of myself, and I don't needanybody else to tell me to take
care of myself, because itdoesn't work.
I don't need a coach tovalidate my food choices.
I didn't need a meal plan totell me when to eat.
I don't need some rippedjerk-off influencer shouting
(21:34):
macros at me through the phone,because deep down, I already
know what to do, and you do too.
We all do.
Eat mostly real food.
Move your body.
Don't eat like a fucking idiot.
We pretend we need a new mealplan or some secret system, but
what we really need is to stopbullshitting ourselves and take
(21:56):
responsibility.
In year one I had moments whereI looked outward, where I looked
for somebody else.
What's the best way to do this?
Should I be doing KIO?
Should I track everybody?
And sure, those questions arenormal in the beginning, but in
year two I finally realized.
The question isn't what's thebest plan.
The question is am I going toown my choices today or not?
(22:17):
Period today or not?
Period that shift fromconstantly seeking to finally
choosing changed everything.
I didn't need a new strategy.
I needed to stop outsourcing myresponsibility.
No one was going to swoop inand fix my life.
No one was coming to save me.
And that's not defeatist, it'sempowering, because once you
take full ownership, you realizethe only person who can truly
(22:40):
change your life is you.
And let me tell you that owningyour own shit is a superpower.
Once you do that, no one cantake it away from you.
You're not dependent, you'renot confused, you're just in
charge.
Huge lesson for me.
The fourth lesson I learned isfood is not the enemy, but
(23:02):
neither is joy.
Right.
This was a big one for me inyear two, realizing that food
isn't the enemy and neither isenjoying it.
For so long I believed that if Iwanted to be healthy, I had to
eat like a robot, that I had tostrip every ounce of joy from my
meals and live on fuckinggrilled chicken and sadness.
But let me tell you somethingthat's not living, that's
(23:22):
punishment disguised asdiscipline.
In year one, I learned how tolose weight In year two.
I learned how to keep it offwithout being miserable, and
that meant giving myselfpermission to eat foods.
I actually enjoy Pizza, donutsyou always hear me talk about
donuts, burgers and the stuffthat diet culture says is going
to ruin you.
But here's the key I don'tbinge on that shit.
(23:43):
I don't eat it because I'm sador I'm stressed, and I don't use
them to numb out or distractmyself.
I enjoy them mindfully, withoutguilt, and then I move on.
Joy doesn't have to be the priceyou pay for being healthy.
In fact, if your plan doesn'tmake room for joy, it's not a
plan you'll stick with.
I stopped seeing food as goodand bad and started seeing for
(24:05):
what it really is fuel, but alsopleasure, connection and
celebration.
It can't just be fuel for you.
It has to give you pleasure,help you connect with people and
eat it when you're celebrating.
Look, a salad's not going tofix your life and a fucking
donut won't ruin it.
What matters is how you thinkabout it.
(24:26):
What matters is how you respondafter Health and happiness can
exist in the same meal, and whenthey do.
That's where the real freedomstarts.
Number five, big one for me, I'mnot afraid of gaining the
weight back because I don'tthink like that guy anymore.
People ask me sometimes aren'tyou scared you'll gain all the
(24:48):
weight back?
And honestly, no, I'm not.
Not because I think I'm immuneor special or above slipping up.
I'm definitely not.
I'm.
I'm more human.
Well, I guess I'm.
I'm a human being.
But the reason I'm not afraidis simple.
I don't think like that411-pound guy anymore, that old
version of me, the one thatavoided mirrors and dodged
(25:08):
pictures and got winded walkingup a flight of stairs.
He's gone, not just physicallybut mentally.
That guy made excuses, that guyjustified every bad habit and
that guy felt hopeless and stuckand told himself that change
was for other people, not him.
But that's not how I thinkanymore.
I don't eat like him, I don'tact like him.
(25:30):
I don't lie to myself like hedid.
I've done the hard work, notjust to lose the weight but to
shift the way I see myself andmy choices.
That's what people don't talkabout enough your internal work,
the internal work that you haveto do.
You can change your body.
Sure, it's easy, well, easy.
No, fuck that.
It's easy to lose weight.
But if you don't change the wayyou think you'll always go back
(25:53):
to who you were, and I'm nevergoing back to that guy.
Year two showed me that I builtsomething that lasts not just a
smaller body but a strongermindset, and that's why I'm not
afraid of going back, becauseI've grown that old identity.
I've replaced it with someonewho shows up, who takes
ownership and who doesn't letsetbacks turn into fucking
(26:14):
spirals.
So no, I'm not scared, becauseI'm not that guy anymore.
Lesson number six was thatdesire always wins.
If year one was about amomentum, year two was about
maintenance, and that's wheredesire really took center stage,
my desire to live a long lifeand be healthy.
(26:36):
The hype was gone.
I wasn't waking up every day toa new milestone or dropping
pounds every week.
The before and after photos,shit, shit.
I already put them up, theywere already posted, the
compliments slowed down and,honestly, the novelty wore off.
And that's where most peoplequit.
That's where I always used toquit After I lose the weight.
Well, you know, I'm done and Istart to go back to my old self.
(26:58):
So that's where most peoplequit, because the fireworks stop
and the grind begins.
But here's what I learned inyear two Desire always wins when
you know why you want to losethe weight and I mean really
know why nothing can stop you.
And if you want to learn aboutyour why and my why, it's all in
(27:18):
my book.
But my why was, honestly, to bealive.
That's a pretty fucking strongwhy.
So motivation, eh, motivationis bullshit, it's flaky, it's
emotional, it shows up when itwants and disappears.
The second life getsinconvenient.
But desire, desire is a choiceand it's not exciting, but it's
dependable.
It's doing what you said you'ddo long ago.
(27:39):
After the mood you made, thatpromise is gone.
So there are plenty of days Ididn't feel like walking, plenty
of days I didn't want to makethe better food choice.
But I did it anyway, notperfectly, not obsessively, just
consistently, because I knew itwas on the line and, more
importantly, I knew who I didn'twant to become.
(28:00):
Again, year two taught me thatlong-term success isn't built on
big wins or viral moments.
I mean, sure, they're nice, butit's built on boring,
predictable, unsexy desire and Ihate this word.
But discipline, the stuff thatno one wants to talk about
because it doesn't sell programsand doesn't get likes.
(28:22):
But that's what separates thepeople who maintain their
progress from the ones who startover every January.
You know all the people thattheir New Year's resolutions
yeah, I'm going to join the gymand get fit that's bullshit.
You don't need to be fired up,you just need to keep showing up
because, at the end of the day,desire is so much greater than
motivation, always Okay.
(28:48):
So the seventh lesson is that Ican enjoy life and stay healthy
at the same time.
Wow, that's a pretty crazythought.
Year two proved something to me,and it was something big.
You don't have to put your lifeon hold to stay healthy.
You don't need to cancelvacations or skip birthdays or
turn down dinner with friendsjust because you're trying to
lose weight or keep it off.
That all-or-nothing mindsetthat we've been sold it's
(29:09):
bullshit.
I went on trips.
I ate out, ate birthday cakemore than once, and guess what?
I didn't spiral.
I didn't go off the rails orwake up 10 pounds heavier.
I didn't blow it or start overon Monday.
Why?
Because I've learned how tonavigate real life, not hide
from it.
That was a turning point for mein year two.
I stopped trying to protect myprogress by isolating myself
(29:32):
from, I guess, normalexperiences.
Instead, I just startedtrusting myself to make better
choices wherever I am, whetherI'm at home or at a restaurant
or on a beach somewhere.
It's not about perfection.
It's about being present andbeing mindful.
I learned that health andhappiness are not opposites.
You can enjoy your life andstay on track at the same time.
(29:53):
You can eat well most of thetime, move your body fairly,
consistency and still leave roomfor fun.
In fact, that's exactly whatmakes this lifestyle sustainable
.
In fact, that's exactly whatmakes this lifestyle sustainable
, because the truth is, youdon't win big at this game by
being perfect.
You win by learning how to livea normal, joyful, flexible life
(30:15):
without losing yourself in theprocess.
That's what I did in year two,and it made everything easier.
The next lesson, lesson numbereight, is accountability is a
lifestyle.
That's something I didn'texpect when I started this
podcast how much it would holdme accountable.
(30:37):
Sure, I wanted to help otherpeople.
I wanted to share what Ilearned and expose the nonsense
of the weight loss world, butwhat I didn't realize at the
beginning was just how much Ineeded to do this podcast too.
This podcast is not just foryou, it's for me.
Saying it out loud keeps mehonest.
It reminds me of what matters.
It forces me to stay alignedwith the person I've worked so
(30:59):
fucking hard to become.
When I talk about consistency,about making smart choices, when
I talk about consistency, aboutmaking smart choices, about not
falling for influencer bullshit, I'm not preaching.
I'm reminding myself of thesame thing at that time and
every single week.
I don't need a coach yellingmacros at me.
I don't need a calorie trackerto hold my hand.
(31:20):
I need to keep showing up formyself and for you, because
accountability isn't somethingyou do once in a while when you
feel off track.
It's a lifestyle.
It's how you stay in the game.
The more real I am about thisprocess, the ups and the downs,
the days I nail it and the daysI don't, the more grounded I
(31:41):
stay.
That's the magic ofaccountability.
It doesn't just keep you fromslipping.
It keeps you engaged, presentand focused on what matters most
.
And I will tell you, sometimeseating a donut or eating a
birthday cake matters the most.
Enjoying that celebrationmatters the most.
So if you're out there trying todo this alone, don't Find a way
to stay accountable.
Whether it's a podcast, ajournal, a friend, they're just
(32:04):
looking at yourself in themirror and being brutally honest
.
Because when you stay honestwith yourself.
You stay in control, and rightnow I am completely in control
of my journey Number nine.
I don't need to be shredded tobe powerful.
So look, let's get somethingstraight.
(32:25):
I didn't do all this to getsix-pack abs.
I will never have six-pack abs.
I'm not trying to look likesome 25-year-old fitness
influencer who spends his lifein the gym, eats plain chicken
out of fucking Tupperware andhas professional lighting in
every room of his house.
That's not my life and, moreimportantly, that's not my goal.
(32:45):
What I'm chasing and what I'vebuilt is something way more
valuable Energy, confidence anda life that actually feels good
to live.
I want to wake up and feelstrong.
I want to walk into a room andnot feel like I need to hide.
I want to move through my daywithout joint pain, exhaustion
(33:05):
or embarrassment.
Do you know how embarrassing itis not to want to sit on a
chair because you're afraid itwon't hold your weight?
Do you know how embarrassing itis to be afraid or to know that
you need a seatbelt extender onan airplane?
So I want to be able to walkthrough life without
embarrassment.
You know what?
That's exactly what I'veachieved.
Year two showed me you don'thave to be shredded to be
powerful.
(33:26):
You don't need 8% body fat tofeel proud of yourself.
I've said this a hundred timesby the National Health
Organization or whatever.
I'm still obese.
I don't give a shit.
I'm not obese in my head.
Yes, my body fat may be toohigh my body mass index but fuck
that man.
I feel great.
I feel the best I've ever felt.
(33:46):
I'm 140-some-odd pounds lighter.
Confidence for me and confidencefor you.
It doesn't come from reflection.
It comes from your actions.
It comes from knowing you'redoing the work, you're showing
up for yourself and you'reliving life on your own terms.
And let's be honest, people whoobsess over being lean and
(34:07):
ripped year round, most of themare fucking miserable.
Or they're on something orthey're lying.
That's just not my lane.
That's not my scene.
My lane is real life, fitness,sustainable health, functional
strength and self-respect.
That's what I care about.
So, no, I'm not shredded and Idon't need to be.
(34:27):
I feel strong, I feel incontrol and I feel like myself
again.
That's power and that's the win.
And lesson number 10 is helpingothers helps me to stay focused.
When I started this journey, itwas about survival.
Honestly, I was ready to die.
I just came out of the hospital.
(34:48):
I was 411 pounds.
I was on eight differentmedications to keep my body
going.
I needed to save my own lifeperiod.
But something changed along theway and as I began to share my
story, people started reachingout A DM here, an email there.
Hey, your podcast helped me getoff the couch.
Today I finally stopped beatingmyself up because of what you
(35:10):
said.
Last week I saw myself in yourstory and that's when it hit me.
This isn't just about meanymore.
Every time someone tells methis podcast helped them, even
in a small way, it reminds mewhy I keep showing up, because
truthfully, helping others helpsme to stay focused.
It helps me to stay grounded.
It forces me to stay honest.
(35:31):
It's easy to fall into oldpatterns when no one's watching,
but when I know someone's outthere listening, when I know
you're out there listening towhat I say, someone counting on
a little bit of honesty, alittle clarity, a little
reminder to keep choosing better, that keeps me sharp.
I don't come on here pretendingto have all the answers.
(35:51):
I'm not some perfect coach witha shredded body and a clean,
beautiful Instagram aesthetic.
If you looked at my Instagramyou know I'm just a guy who
figured out how to lose 140pounds and not hate himself in
the process, and now I'm doingeverything I can to help you do
the same, without the bullshit,without the shame, without
(36:11):
selling your soul to fuckingdiet culture.
We're in this together.
This is not just a feel goodline, it's real.
We are in this together.
My journey helps you and,honestly, your journey helps me.
The more I give, the more Istay focused on what actually
matters Truth, effort and notgiving up.
(36:33):
This has been just the mostremarkable two years of my life.
Doing this and last year reallychanged the person that I am.
I am a completely differentperson, which is why I wanted to
reintroduce myself in thisepisode, but it wouldn't be a
complete episode, and there's noway that I could talk about
(36:54):
this journey, thistransformation, without thanking
the person who unknowingly litthe fuse, and that is my
girlfriend Vicki.
She'll never take credit for it.
She'll tell you you're the onewho did the work, you made the
choices, and she's right.
I did make the choices, but shegave me the moment that made
that choice possible.
(37:15):
That pink gorilla on my 59thbirthday wasn't just some
ridiculous surprise.
It was the moment I saw myself,clearly, for the first time in
years.
It was the slap in the face.
I didn't know I needed, it wasfunny, stupid and I mean totally
unexpected, but it brokesomething open in me, it shook
(37:37):
me and that moment led toeverything else.
So over the past two years,vicky has shown me love,
patience, support and belief,even when I didn't fully believe
in myself.
She never lectured me, shenever judged me, she never told
me what to do.
She just kept showing up withkindness, honesty and love.
Honestly, she made me feelworth saving.
(37:57):
While I may have done the workand changed the habits and shown
up every day, her love made mewant to be better For myself,
yes, but also because shebelieved in a version of me that
I hadn't met yet.
So, vicki, you say you didn't doanything, but you did
everything, reminded me of who Icould be, you got me started
(38:19):
and you never let me forget whyI started.
You didn't just save my life,you gave me a reason to fight
for it.
Thank you from the deepestplace in my heart, thank you,
and I love you.
So that's it.
I mean, yes, year two wasdifferent.
(38:39):
It was quieter, it was steadier, maybe even harder in some ways
, but it proved what I reallyneeded to know that this isn't a
phase.
This is who I am now, and if Ican live this way, so can you.
You don't need a perfect plan.
You don't need some fuckingguru or coach, and you sure as
(39:03):
shit don't need anyone'spermission, guru or coach, and
you sure as shit don't needanyone's permission.
You really, really and trulyjust need to shut up and choose
every day.
That's it.
That's all it takes.
You can do this once you acceptthe responsibility.
So I'll tell you.
For those of you who are newhere, you can buy my book Shut
(39:26):
Up and Choose on Amazon.
We're an Amazon bestseller, asI told you before.
I get emails all the time frompeople telling me how my book
saved their life, and that's themost gratifying part of this
entire journey.
I have a video course thatreally teaches you how to get
your head in the game, becausethis is mental warfare.
This is all about the mental.
Yeah, physically losing weightis simple, right?
Burn more calories than youconsume.
(39:48):
There's no other way.
That's it.
Whether you do it through keto,paleo, it doesn't matter.
You have to burn more caloriesthan you consume.
So I have a 20 plus videocourse and, by the way, that
sounds like a lot of shit, butthe truth is you probably watch
it in under two hours, but it'sa 20 plus video course on how to
get into the right mindset.
(40:08):
It's called the EffortlessWeight Loss Academy because,
honestly, weight loss should beeffortless.
It shouldn't be a struggle.
Once you get your head in thegame, it becomes easy, and
people always go nuts when I sayit's easy, but I promise you,
when you get your head in thegame, it becomes easy.
You can get the EffortlessWeight Loss Academy at
learnshutupandchoosecom.
(40:30):
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
So that's it for today.
I'm so excited to be two yearsinto this and be over 140 pounds
lighter.
It was hard work, but it waseasy, if that makes any sense.
Once I got my head into thegame and I started making the
choices and I let myself realizethat it's not about perfection.
It's about showing up that noone was coming to save me, that
(40:52):
I'm the only one that can savemyself.
It's the greatesttransformation I feel, the best
I felt in God, 30 plus years.
It's just incredible.
If I did it, you can do it too.
Now the only thing left for youto do is to shut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
(41:33):
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find jonathan on
instagram at jonathan wrestlerboca raton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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