May 7, 2025 • 33 mins
Ever wonder why your weight loss efforts keep starting strong but fizzle out like clockwork? The problem might not be your diet plan, your metabolism, or even your willpower – it could be that you've become exceptionally skilled at quitting.
This raw, unfiltered episode cuts through the noise to expose the real reason most people fail at weight loss: they abandon their efforts at the first sign of imperfection. We're diving deep into the psychology of the quitting cycle – that frustrating pattern of Monday motivation followed by midweek meltdown that keeps you stuck in the same 10-15 pound loop.
The truth is uncomfortable but liberating: you don't need another diet or workout routine. You need to break your habit of tapping out when things get hard. Motivation is like that flaky friend who hypes you up but bails when you need them most. Real transformation happens when you keep showing up anyway.
I'm sharing the five biggest reasons people quit on themselves, from all-or-nothing thinking to chasing motivation instead of building systems. More importantly, I'm giving you practical strategies to build your follow-through muscle – like tracking your actions instead of just outcomes, creating a rebound plan for inevitable slip-ups, and shifting your identity from someone "on a diet" to someone who simply doesn't quit.
The magic isn't in finding the perfect plan. It's in becoming someone who consistently shows up, even when it's inconvenient, boring, or emotionally uncomfortable. You don't need to be perfect – you just need to stop ghosting your goals every time you make a mistake.
Ready to break the quitting cycle once and for all? This episode is your wake-up call. Take it from someone who lost over 130 pounds without fancy diets or even stepping foot in a gym – consistency trumps perfection every single time.
Lose Weight Without Starving or Obsessing! Learn the simple, no-BS system that helped me lose 140 pounds naturally—no extreme diets, no endless gym hours, just real, sustainable fat loss for real people.
Join the Effortless Weight Loss Academy HERE
Please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.
Send me questions or comments to Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast
that cuts in the noise, thenonsense and all the bullshit
that those internet gurus andInstagram jerk-offs are spewing
your way, telling you how youshould lose weight.
You gotta go to the gym.
You gotta do this.
You gotta eat carbs Don't eatcarbs.
You gotta eat meat Don't eatmeat.
It's all a bunch of shit.
The bottom line is, we all knowthere's only one way to do it,
and that's to eat less caloriesthan you burn.
(01:35):
It's pretty straightforward.
But today we're going to talkabout something, and something I
want to get straight right outof the gate.
If you're listening to thispodcast, you probably want to
lose some weight, or youprobably want to figure some
stuff out, and let me tell yousomething right away you are not
a failure, but you might bereally fucking good at quitting.
Yeah, like I said and I'm nothere to be mean, I'm just really
(01:58):
here to be honest, becausehonesty is what really sets
people free from the lies thatkeep them stuck in that same 10
or 15-pound weight-loss yo-yodiet that you've been on for
years.
So, before we go any further,let me ask you something.
How many times have you starteda new workout routine not me,
but you maybe or a clean eatingplan or a 30-day challenge, and
(02:20):
absolutely crushed it for likethree days, maybe even a week.
Maybe you were really good too,if you were really feeling
great about it, but you weremeal prepping like a champ and
drinking water like it was yourjob, skipping the drive through
and patting yourself on the backevery time you chose grilled
chicken over fries.
(02:40):
And then boom, life happens.
You had a bad day, you gottired, you got bored, you had a
moment of ah, fuck it.
And suddenly the whole thingunraveled.
You basically turned and ranfrom your goals and in that
moment and I only tell you this,like I said, I'm not here to be
mean, because I've done itmyself hundreds of times, but in
(03:02):
that moment you probablythought something like man, I
always mess this up, or I justdon't have enough willpower to
do this, or maybe I'm just notcut out for this dieting thing.
I'm such a failure.
Let me stop you right there.
You are not a failure.
You're just someone who hasn'tbuilt follow-through and take it
from someone who knows.
I know for 59 years I had nofollow-through when it came to
(03:24):
managing my weight, so you'resomeone who's great at starting
but hasn't learned how to keepgoing when the motivation runs
out which, by the way, it alwaysruns out.
Motivation is like your flakybuddy who hypes you up all week
and then like bails on dinner atthe last minute because
something came up and it's justnot feeling it.
So it's helpful when it showsup, but it's unreliable as hell.
(03:47):
So the problem isn't yourability, it's your habit of
tapping out when things getuncomfortable.
Let me be clear Quitting doesn'tmake you weak.
It just makes you ready forthis normal right.
Because most people quit.
Most people start over amillion times.
Most people binge, watchworkout videos, eating chips and
then tell themselves I'll getserious about this after the
(04:10):
weekend.
But hopefully you're not.
Most people right?
You're here, you're listening tothis.
You want more.
You want to stop spinning yourwheels and actually make
sustainable progress for realthis time.
So let's be honest and let'stalk about what's going on.
You don't suck at losing weight.
You suck at sticking with itlong enough to see the results.
That's it.
You don't need another diet.
(04:31):
You don't need a new app.
You don't need a trainer.
You don't need a juice cleanseor any other jumpstart challenge
.
You need to stop quitting.
You need to build followthrough like it's a muscle
Because it is quitting.
You need to buildfollow-through like it's a
muscle because it isFollow-through is the boring,
unsexy secret behind everytransformation story.
It's not about being perfect,it's about not quitting.
(04:53):
Every time you fuck up or youstall, you don't see instant
results.
Think about it.
How many times have you been sogood for a few days, or even
weeks, didn't see the scale dropfast enough and then just gave
up, as if your body was going tolike magically undo?
Years of beating the shit outof you and eating terribly and
creating these bad habits injust a week?
That's not failure, that'simpatience, that's unrealistic
(05:16):
expectations, that's emotionalthinking, but it's also totally
fixable.
So in this episode I'm not goingto sugarcoat anything.
I'm here to hold up the mirrorand say, hey, maybe the plan
didn't fail, maybe you justghosted the process, and you
know what?
That's great news, because ifquitting is the real issue, then
not quitting is the solution.
(05:36):
Not being perfect, not slayingevery workout or even working
out at all for all, I care, andit's not living on broccoli and
fucking kale, just not quitting.
That's the shift and that'swhat we're going to dive into
and the rest of this episode.
We're going to break downexactly why you quit, how to
spot the triggers and, mostimportantly, how to build the
(05:57):
kind of grit and follow throughturns I'll start over on Monday
into.
I'm going to keep showing up,no matter what.
This isn't about, like hustle orguilt, tripping yourself into,
pushing through injury orexhaustion.
This is about building trust inyourself.
It's about becoming the kind ofperson who follows through, not
just when it's convenient orexciting, but when it's
(06:17):
inconvenient and boring and hard, because that's where the real
transformation happens, not inthe first week hype, not the
motivational quotes, but in thequiet decision to keep going.
So if you've ever looked in themirror and said, hey, why can't
I just stick with this, thisepisode is going to be your
answer.
You're not a failure, you justkeep quitting.
(06:38):
So let's change that starting.
How about right now?
Let's talk about that nastylittle voice in your head.
You know the one that loves towhisper you always fuck this up.
The one that shows up everytime you skip a workout, whether
you overeat at dinner or justhave a weekend bender that turns
into a five-day foodfree-for-all.
That voice isn't just annoyingwhich it is, but it's not just
(07:01):
annoying, it's convincing.
No-transcript.
(07:26):
Hi, I'm Jonathan and I can'tfollow through.
But let me be clear you are nota failure.
You just haven't built theskill of follow through and,
more importantly, you've beentrapped in a cycle of starting
hard, burning out and blamingyourself for it.
And that doesn't make you afailure.
That makes you a human being ina system that rewards
(07:47):
perfectionism and punishesconsistency.
So here's how it usually goesright.
Like I said before, you getfired up new week, new diet, new
you.
You clean out the fridge, youbuy all the greens In my case, I
bought all kinds of shit juicer, whatever you vow to work out
every day, which, no matter howmuch I vow that, I don't think I
got to do that, but you vow towork out every day and you're
(08:08):
never going to touch sugar again.
And you crush it.
On Monday, tuesday, you'refeeling great.
Then Wednesday happens you're alittle tired, you're sore, the
motivation dips a little bit andby Thursday you slip, you eat
something off plan.
Or Thursday you slip, you eatsomething off plan.
Or maybe you miss a workout.
And suddenly the spiral begins.
You label yourself a failure,you say, ah, screw it.
(08:29):
You binge and then you quit.
And then, of course, comes theguilt.
And what do you do with theguilt?
You eat more, you do less.
And then you say, see, I alwaysdo this.
And boom, that's how thispattern reinforces itself.
But the truth is the plan didn'tfail, you just didn't keep
going.
You didn't need to be perfect,you just needed to keep showing
(08:49):
up.
But you've been trained tobelieve that if you can't do it
perfectly, it's not worth doingat all.
And that's bullshit, thatmindset, that's the real failure
.
If we look at perfection,recall what it really is it's
just an excuse to quit whenthings get messy or ugly or hard
.
You're not failing becauseyou're not capable.
You're failing because you'reexpecting yourself to be
(09:11):
flawless.
And when you're not, because,by the way, hello, you're a
fucking human being.
You bail, you confuse a bad daywith a bad identity.
You let one mistake define thewhole journey.
And again, let me say it loudfor the people in the back here
One bad choice does not eraseyour progress.
One small bad choice does noterase your progress.
(09:33):
You know what does Quitting,quitting erases your progress.
And the people who get results?
They're not perfect.
I tell you, all the time I fedmy soul.
I ate some stuff that peopleconsider bad, but I'm down over
140 pounds.
So people that get the results,they just don't stop.
They have bad days and theybounce back, they overeat and
then they go out for a walk orthey skip a workout which I
(09:53):
skipped every single workoutbecause I never went to the gym
but then they show up the nextday.
They have pizza, withoutturning into a three-day food
banner.
You can do this.
You are allowed to feed yoursoul.
You're not broken, you're justuntrained.
Right?
Think of consistency and followthrough as muscles.
If you never train them or youonly train them when you feel
like it, of course you're goingto be weak.
(10:14):
Those muscles are going to beweak.
When you say things like I'mjust lazier, I can't stick with
anything.
I'm an emotional eater.
What you're really saying is Ihaven't built the tools to deal
with this yet.
What you're really saying is Ihaven't built the tools to deal
with this yet.
And you know, for me, yet iseverything, because it leaves
room for growth In my book Italk about right now.
So you haven't built that yet,but growth isn't linear and it's
(10:37):
ugly and it's inconsistent andit's full of false starts, but
it's still growth.
So this is what you need toremember.
If you've tried before andstopped, so what?
You're still in the game.
If you've made excuses in thepast, god knows I have made more
excuses.
I'm the king of excuses and theking of yo-yo dieting.
But if you've made excuses inthe past, fine, big fucking deal
(10:59):
.
Let's stop it right now.
And if you believe some liesabout what success should look
like, it's definitely time torewrite the script, because
you're not a failure.
But you do need to get honestabout the pattern that you've
been stuck in, because if youkeep quitting every time it's
hard or it's inconvenient oremotionally uncomfortable,
you'll keep ending up in thesame place over and over and
(11:21):
over.
The magic is not in tryingharder.
The magic is in ready for thisnot quitting.
So if you want to know the realreason you keep quitting, it's
pretty simple.
It's because you built habitsaround quitting and you're
really fucking good at them.
So let's dig into this.
(11:41):
In my opinion, these are thefive biggest reasons people quit
on themselves again and againand again, and what you can do
to stop being one of them.
So number one is this all ornothing thing.
I've talked about it before,but it's really important,
because this is what dietculture is all about.
It's all about if I can't do itperfectly, I'm not doing it all
, and that one is a killer.
You're either 100% clean oryou're up to your elbows in
(12:04):
pizza.
You're either hitting the gymsix days a week or not showing
up for your workouts at all.
If that sounds familiar, look,you make one mistake.
You eat a cookie, you skip aworkout, you have a shitty
weekend and suddenly it's allruined.
So you quit.
Let me give you a big truth bombhere.
One bad choice, like I saidbefore, doesn't undo progress.
(12:25):
Quitting does.
Real progress is made in thatgray area, you know that area
where it's messy and it'sinconsistent.
It's not about perfect streaks.
It's all about not giving upafter you break one.
It's all about not giving upafter you make a bad choice.
Stop thinking of yourself likea light switch, right.
You're either on or you're off.
(12:46):
Start thinking about, I guess,as a dimmer right.
Just keep showing up, even ifyou're 40%.
40% is better than nothing.
The second one is you setyourself up with these
unrealistic expectations Like,for example, if I didn't lose
five pounds this week, it's notworking.
I had a ton of weight to loseand I wanted to have massive
(13:06):
weight loss quick.
And you know, I guess thethought is I should.
I had a lot to lose, so Ishould lose it quickly.
But the reality is, if youthink if I didn't lose five
pounds this week, or two poundsor 10 pounds, whatever your
number is it's not working,that's bullshit.
You want overnight results in asystem that requires long-term
effort.
You expect to see visible absafter five days of eating kale.
(13:27):
That ain't going to happen.
You think the number on thescale should drop like magic
just because you said no tobread twice this weekend.
By the way, you don't have tosay no to anything, but if
that's if you're on a no carbdiet.
But here's the reality.
Your body doesn't care aboutyour fucking deadline.
It doesn't care at all.
It responds to your consistency.
When you don't get instantgratification, you assume that
you're failing, so you quit.
(13:48):
The truth is, if you gaveanything in life just two weeks
and expected mastery, you'd quiteverything.
You'd quit your relationships,your career, your hobbies I mean
just everything.
It would all be gone.
So weight loss and health areno different.
You got to stop expecting thesemassive results with very
(14:09):
little effort.
It takes effort, there's noquestion about it.
It takes effort and it takesconsistency.
The third one is you're chasingsome kind of motivation instead
of building discipline, and youknow I hate the word discipline,
but motivation is a fuckingliar.
It shows up strong on day oneand then it just fails to exist
the minute things getuncomfortable.
If your success depends onfeeling inspired, you're fucking
(14:31):
toast.
Discipline is not about being arobot, and you know I hate
discipline.
I like desire, desire, knowwhat you desire.
It's about showing up when youdon't feel like it.
Because that you said you would, because you know why you want
to lose the weight.
You brush your teeth every dayand every night.
Right, you're not doing itbecause you're thrilled about it
(14:52):
, but you're doing it becausethat's just part of who you are
and that's what we're buildinghere Identity-based habits.
You don't work out because youfeel like it.
You work out because you're thekind of person who does hard
things, even when it'sinconvenient Again, not me, but
I understand why people work out.
So this desire that's muchgreater than the dopamine of
finding motivation.
(15:14):
The fourth reason is, if youdon't have a system, you're just
hoping.
So if you're trying to changeyour life with vibes instead of
systems, you're going to fail.
You tell yourself I'll just eatbetter this week, cool, but
what's the plan?
What's the backup for when thatstress hits or time runs out?
You forget.
If you're a meal prepper, tomeal prep, hope is just not a
(15:34):
strategy.
Systems are what save you whenmotivation dies.
If you're a meal prepper, prepyour meals, schedule your
workouts, set alarms, dowhatever you have to do, but
remove the guesswork and setyourself up to win.
If you've got no structure, noplan, no accountability, of
course you're going to quit.
It's not weakness, it's a lackof structure, it's a lack of a
(15:57):
scaffolding to hold everythingup.
And then five.
This is a big one.
You want to change, but not thepart that feels like change.
Discomfort kind of freaks youout.
Guess what Transformation isuncomfortable.
You're building new habits,breaking old ones and literally
rewiring your brain.
That doesn't feel good at first.
(16:17):
I get it.
And then the second shit getshard when the cravings hit, when
the progress plateaus, whenit's day 17,.
You're still not there yet youpanic, you think something's
wrong, you think that you failed, so you quit.
But discomfort is not a signthat you're broken.
It's a sign that you're growing.
And if you just stay in it,even just for a few more days,
(16:39):
you start to build the kind ofmental muscle that makes you
unstoppable.
So look just quickly a recaphere If you keep quitting, it's
probably because you're stuck inan all or nothing mindset.
You expect instant results, youchase motivation instead of
habits.
You don't have a system and youbail when things get
uncomfortable.
It's and or right.
(16:59):
It's any one of those or all ofthose.
The good news is, every singleone of those is a learned
pattern, and what's learned canbe unlearned.
It's not your genetics, it'snot your metabolism, it's not
your special disease, it's notyour schedule.
It's your mindset and yourhabits, and both can be rebuilt.
So if you've been quitting overand over again.
(17:20):
This isn't your cue to feelguilty.
This is your sign to getsmarter, more honest and more
committed Again.
You're not a failure.
You're just one consistentdecision away from breaking that
quitting cycle for good.
So if you want to know how youbuild that follow through, how
you stick with it, let me giveyou some ideas, because starting
(17:42):
out everything is great, butfinishing is where the power is.
So by now you know, look, I'vegiven you the bullshit reasons
to keep quitting.
And no, it's not because you'relazy or weak or genetically
doomed to snack.
It's none of that.
It's because your systems suck,your mindset needs a tune-up
and you've never actuallytrained your follow-through
muscle.
And yes, follow-through is askill, not something you're born
(18:05):
with, not something youmagically develop when life
slows down.
It's something you practiceeven when it feels awkward or
inconvenient or, honestly,pretty fucking boring or
inconvenient or, honestly,pretty fucking boring.
So let's look at how you buildthat kind of relentless
consistency without burning out,falling off or quitting every
time it gets uncomfortable.
(18:26):
So the first thing I know thisis going to be crazy, but lower
the fucking bar man.
Let's get it out of the way.
Perfection is a trap If yourplan requires you to eat like a
monk, to train like an Olympianor sleep like a baby all night.
You're not building a lifestyle, you're building a meltdown.
So here's the new rule for youDo less.
(18:48):
Do it consistently.
Instead of aiming for a 10 outof 10 day, aim for a solid six
man.
Nail the basics.
Drink your water, move yourbody.
Don't eat like a raccoon in adumpster.
That's it, because you knowwhat A bunch of sixes will
outwork your one perfect 10,followed by five days of zero.
So just lower the bar and thenkeep showing up.
(19:11):
Don't be perfect, just dosomething.
Number two is track your actions, not just the outcomes.
Right, so too many people quitbecause they don't see progress.
They step on the scale, don'tlike the number and decide it's
all pointless.
Again, I was there hundreds oftimes and if that sounds
familiar, yeah, that's becausemost people never make it past
(19:32):
week two on this weight lossjourney, on a diet.
But here's the fix right.
So stop tracking the outcomesand start looking at your effort
instead.
You can't control the scale.
The scale is going to fluctuatedue to so many different things
.
You can control the scale, butyou can control your consistency
.
So track things like did Idrink enough water today?
Did I move today?
(19:53):
Did I say no when I wanted toemotionally Celebrate those
things.
That is your real progress.
The scale will catch up, Ipromise you, but the habits,
they have to come first.
The next thing is build systemsthat don't rely on willpower.
If your entire plan depends onfeeling motivated every day I
(20:15):
got news for you You're fucked.
Willpower is great until yourkid's sick, you're tired, work
sucks and it's raining.
Then what?
That's where the system comesin.
If you're a meal prepper, doyour meal prepping.
Set out your workout clothes,put reminders on your phone,
automate everything that you can.
Remove the friction, Take thatshit out of your house.
That is a trigger for you.
(20:36):
Be aware, Be awake, be mindful.
Every time you open your mouth,think about what you're putting
in.
Make the right choice, the easychoice, because when life hits
the fan, your system is whatsaves you, not your why,
although your why is prettypowerful.
But have a system.
(20:56):
Next one is expect a dip, expecta stall, expect a slowdown and
don't freak the fuck out.
There'll be a phase where thisgets boring, hard and thankless
and you'll be doing everythingright and still feel like
nothing's happening.
That's called the dip.
It's the moment when 99% of thepeople quit, so don't be one of
(21:18):
them.
Expect it, prepare for it, knowthat it's coming, decide in
advance.
You're not backing down.
That's how you beat it, becauseguess what, again, the people
who get results aren't the oneswho never hit the dip.
They're the ones who keepshowing up through the dip.
And, believe me, on my journey,I had some dips and I just kept
going.
And then the last one isbuilding new identity.
(21:39):
Right?
This one's a real kicker.
Keep seeing yourself as someonewho always quits.
You can't stick to anything.
Guess what.
You keep proving yourself right.
So stop focusing on your goalsand start building your identity
.
Instead of saying I'm going totry to lose weight, say I'm the
kind of person who takes care oftheir body.
Instead of saying I want to getfit, I want to be someone who
(22:04):
moves daily, I said that Iwanted to be fit, but then I
realized that in order to dothat, I had to move my body.
So, instead of saying I'm on adiet, say I choose to eat food
that fuels me, but think abouteverything that goes into your
mouth.
Every small action you take isa vote for the person you want
to become.
If you cast enough votes, youwin.
That identity sticks.
So here's the breakdown of thoselast five things I told you One
lower the fucking bar.
(22:24):
Stop trying to be perfect.
Just be consistent.
Track what you do, not justwhat you weigh.
Build systems that work evenwhen life sucks.
Expect the dip and just pushthrough it and stop trying to
change.
Start becoming the person whodoesn't quit.
You don't need more willpower,you need a plan that survives a
bad day.
(22:45):
And you, you're not lazy,you're not a failure.
You've just never been taughthow to follow through.
But now you are.
Now you have no excuse.
I guess we're being honest.
You're not going to be perfectafter this episode.
You're still going to have dayswhere you want to throw the
towel in, you want to door dasha bunch of milkshakes and shitty
food and tell your goals tobasically fuck off, and that's
(23:05):
okay.
You don't need to be perfectAgain.
You just need to stop quitting.
That's it.
Breaking a cycle is not aboutnever screwing up again.
That's impossible.
It's about building awarenessfaster, recovering quicker and
choosing your goals, even whenit's hard or it's boring or it's
emotionally inconvenient.
So what does it actually looklike to break the quitting cycle
(23:28):
for good?
Well, number one, you know I'mall about being mindful, and
mindful eating.
Awareness is your first weapon.
You can't change what you don'tnotice.
Most people don't even realizethey're in a quitting spiral
until they're three quarts ofice cream deep and saying, ah,
fuck it, I'll start Monday again.
So your job in all this iscatch the cycle in the moment
right.
Notice the pattern as it begins.
(23:49):
Here's what that looks like.
If you start skipping the gymjust this once, or you start
eating that donut just this once, you stop tracking your food
because it's been a stressfulweek, or you start saying I'll
just be better tomorrow whilesabotaging today, these aren't
just random bad choices.
They're early warning signs.
When you catch it early, youdon't have to start over.
(24:12):
You can pivot instead of crash.
The second part of that isinterrupt that pattern, and fast
.
Once you see the quittingspiral starting, you need to
slam on the brakes.
Even a tiny action is enough tostop the momentum of a downward
spiral.
Don't overthink it, justinterrupt the pattern.
If you went off track withlunch, make your next meal a
better one.
Make your next choice a small,smart choice.
(24:34):
If you're stressed out and youate a sleeve of cookies, drink a
giant glass of water and don'tspiral.
That interruption is powerful.
It says, hey, I might haveslipped here, but I don't quit,
not anymore.
Number three is have a reboundplan.
You will fuck up, you will falloff track.
So what's your bounce backprotocol?
(24:55):
Too many people fall into panicmode after they fuck up.
Right, they either overcorrector something like I'm going to
fast for the next 24 hours tofix it, or they give up entirely
I'll fuck it.
This week is ruined, I'll startagain next week.
If you have a pre-decided bounceback plan, you know something
that you're going to do, so youdon't go into emotional chaos
when you have a rough moment.
I'm like what does that mean?
What is the rebound plan?
(25:16):
Well, number one is acknowledgewhy it happened without shame,
right, okay, I ate, I wasstressed, I was tired, I was
hungry, I was sad, I was happyhappened.
Then reconnect with your whyand I'm talking about if you
haven't written it down, youshould, but go and read your why
(25:36):
.
Why is it that you want to be onthis journey?
Why is it that you want to losethat weight and then do
something that will ground you?
So, again, make a small, smartchoice Go out for a walk, prep
what you're going to eat fordinner, whatever it is.
Do one grounding action andthen, lastly, get back to basics
.
No punishment, no drama.
Just go back to what you'redoing.
It's not over if you make amistake.
The next thing is you got toget over this guilt thing, right
(25:58):
.
I told you I ate donuts.
I ate whatever the fuck Iwanted throughout my entire
journey.
I still do today.
Half the reason people quit isbecause they feel guilty every
time they mess up and that guiltturns into shame spiral, and
shame loves to binge.
Guess what?
Guilt is a choice, so shut upand choose.
It's not productive, it's notmotivational, it's a trap.
(26:20):
So if you feel guilt, okay fine, feel it.
Then flip it, say like you knowwhat I screwed up, but I'm
human and I'm learning how tobounce back.
Or I ate something that was offthe plan or something that I
shouldn't have eaten.
Okay, that choice is over.
My next choice is what mattersnow.
Your next choice is whatmatters.
Make that small, smart choice.
Next, own that moment, thenmove on.
(26:42):
Guilt only wins if it keeps youstuck.
If it doesn't keep you stuck,if you get past it, the guilt is
gone.
And then really look at thosetimes, like look at those bounce
back wins like they're goldbecause they are.
If you're a workout guy or girl,you track your workouts.
Your tracking was great.
But are you tracking how manytimes you don't quit?
(27:04):
Every time you stop a spiral,mid-sabotage, every time you get
back on track the next meal,every time you go to the gym
after missing a few days, ifyou're a gym person, every time
you choose to show up when youdidn't feel like it.
That's a win.
Track those things.
Celebrate those things, bragabout it if you want to, because
those moments they're the realdifference makers.
(27:25):
Not the scale, not the macros,not any of the bullshit.
It's the follow through.
That's the difference maker.
The truth here is, most peopledon't fail because they can't do
it.
They fail because they keepquitting when it gets hard.
Not you, not anymore.
You're building this newidentity.
You're going to become the kindof person who pauses instead of
(27:47):
panics, who rebounds instead ofspirals, who tracks effort over
perfection and doesn't ghosttheir goals after a bad day.
That's how the cycle breaks Notwith a dramatic overhaul where
you change your entire life, butwith small, smart, powerful
choices made over and over again.
So look, I'm going to wrap thisup.
(28:08):
I've been going for a while.
Hopefully I'm giving you somegreat knowledge here.
If I'm not, then you'reprobably tuned out by now.
But listen, we call that thelie.
We stripped away the shame.
We've exposed every excuse andmindset trap that's kept you
starting, stopping, starting,stopping and staying stuck.
So now let me say this one lasttime, just so we're crystal
(28:28):
clear you are not a failure.
You're just someone who hasn'tbuilt consistency yet.
You've been quitting too soon,expecting too much and giving up
the minute where the resultsdon't show up, like your Amazon
Prime delivery right.
You've been relying onmotivation or chasing perfection
and ghosting your own goals andyour own.
(28:49):
Why, the moment shit gets toughand guess what?
You're not special for that.
You're normal.
You don't have to stay that way, because now you know better,
now you got the tools, now youhave the bounce back plan, now
you've got a choice.
So here's your challenge thisweek after listening to this,
(29:09):
just commit to one thing, not 10.
Don't make a whole lifestylechange, not a full-blown
transformation, just one simplething that you normally quit on.
So you know, I don't know.
Drink water before your meals,or walk 10 minutes a day, or say
no to late night sabotagesnacks.
I don't pick one, do it.
Do it every day.
No skipping.
(29:29):
No, I'll start Monday.
No quitting.
And every time that voice inyour head says you're failing
again, I want to say, nope, I'mjust not quitting this time.
That's what it comes down to.
That's it.
This isn't just a new plan,it's a new identity, and you're
the kind of person who finisheswhat they start, or at least I
hope you are, because you'velistened to this for 30, some
(29:51):
odd minutes.
So now go prove it.
So shut up, choose and followthrough.
That's all I have to say, orthat was a lot that I had to say
about quitting.
But we all do it, we've all.
If you're listening to this, ifyou're frustrated, if you've
been on more than one diet, ifyou're overweight, you've quit.
Wait, you've quit.
(30:11):
But that doesn't define you.
That was who you used to be.
Now you're building a newidentity, the person who follows
through, the person who gets itdone, the person who really,
really makes those small smartchoices every single day.
Not perfectly, but makes someof those small smart choices
every single day, more oftenthan not, 80% of the time, 70%
of the time, whatever it is,you're making small smart
choices consistently.
(30:31):
You know that you will havemoments of weakness.
That's all okay.
The only thing that's not okayis quitting.
Do not quit.
Slow down, take a day off, butdo not quit.
So that's it.
That's all I have to say aboutquitting.
If you want to know more aboutmy journey, you can buy my book.
(30:53):
Shut Up and Choose.
It's on Amazon.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I always say this, but it's thepart of this that really gets
me the most excited.
I get emails from people allthe time saying how reading my
book literally changed theirlife in more aspects than just
weight loss.
But weight loss is the one bigone that I'm excited about.
It gives you the mental freedomto really understand why and
how to lose weight but, mostimportantly, how to keep it off
(31:14):
sustainably.
If you're more of a visuallearner, I have a video course
called the Effortless WeightLoss Academy.
It's 23 videos.
You can watch the whole thingin probably two hours maybe a
little more, maybe a little less, but it really takes you
through the mindset and how toget your head in the game,
because mindset is by far thebiggest part of weight loss.
It's mental warfare and youhave to get your mind right
(31:36):
before you can get your bodyright.
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
That's it for my commercials.
Hopefully, after listening tothis, you're not going to be in
the ranks of the quittersanymore.
You're not going to look forperfection.
You're not going to beatyourself up if you make a
(31:56):
mistake.
You're not going to say, ah,fuck it, I made it, yeah, I'll
start Monday.
You're going to leave all thatbehind.
You're not going to quit.
You don't have to be perfect,but you're not going to quit.
So now, really, the choice isyours.
I leave it to you.
The only thing left to do is toshut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
(32:39):
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the
truth, is offended by the wordfuck and about 37 uses of it in
different forms gets ass hurt.
When you hear someone speak theabsolute, real and raw truth,
you should leave Like right now.
This is Shut Up and Choose, thepodcast where we cut through
(00:25):
the shit and get real aboutweight loss, life and everything
in between.
We get into the nitty gritty ofmaking small, smart choices
that add up to big results.
From what's on your plate tohow you approach life's
challenges.
We'll explore how the simpleact of choosing differently can
transform your health, yourmindset and your entire freaking
(00:48):
life.
So if you're ready to cutthrough the bullshit and start
making some real changes, thenbuckle up and shut up, because
we're about to choose our way toa healthier, happier life.
This is Shut Up and Choose.
Let's do this Now.
Your host, jonathan Ressler.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast
that cuts in the noise, thenonsense and all the bullshit
that those internet gurus andInstagram jerk-offs are spewing
your way, telling you how youshould lose weight.
You gotta go to the gym.
You gotta do this.
You gotta eat carbs Don't eatcarbs.
You gotta eat meat Don't eatmeat.
It's all a bunch of shit.
The bottom line is, we all knowthere's only one way to do it,
and that's to eat less caloriesthan you burn.
(01:35):
It's pretty straightforward.
But today we're going to talkabout something, and something I
want to get straight right outof the gate.
If you're listening to thispodcast, you probably want to
lose some weight, or youprobably want to figure some
stuff out, and let me tell yousomething right away you are not
a failure, but you might bereally fucking good at quitting.
Yeah, like I said and I'm nothere to be mean, I'm just really
(01:58):
here to be honest, becausehonesty is what really sets
people free from the lies thatkeep them stuck in that same 10
or 15-pound weight-loss yo-yodiet that you've been on for
years.
So, before we go any further,let me ask you something.
How many times have you starteda new workout routine not me,
but you maybe or a clean eatingplan or a 30-day challenge, and
(02:20):
absolutely crushed it for likethree days, maybe even a week.
Maybe you were really good too,if you were really feeling
great about it, but you weremeal prepping like a champ and
drinking water like it was yourjob, skipping the drive through
and patting yourself on the backevery time you chose grilled
chicken over fries.
(02:40):
And then boom, life happens.
You had a bad day, you gottired, you got bored, you had a
moment of ah, fuck it.
And suddenly the whole thingunraveled.
You basically turned and ranfrom your goals and in that
moment and I only tell you this,like I said, I'm not here to be
mean, because I've done itmyself hundreds of times, but in
(03:02):
that moment you probablythought something like man, I
always mess this up, or I justdon't have enough willpower to
do this, or maybe I'm just notcut out for this dieting thing.
I'm such a failure.
Let me stop you right there.
You are not a failure.
You're just someone who hasn'tbuilt follow-through and take it
from someone who knows.
I know for 59 years I had nofollow-through when it came to
(03:24):
managing my weight, so you'resomeone who's great at starting
but hasn't learned how to keepgoing when the motivation runs
out which, by the way, it alwaysruns out.
Motivation is like your flakybuddy who hypes you up all week
and then like bails on dinner atthe last minute because
something came up and it's justnot feeling it.
So it's helpful when it showsup, but it's unreliable as hell.
(03:47):
So the problem isn't yourability, it's your habit of
tapping out when things getuncomfortable.
Let me be clear Quitting doesn'tmake you weak.
It just makes you ready forthis normal right.
Because most people quit.
Most people start over amillion times.
Most people binge, watchworkout videos, eating chips and
then tell themselves I'll getserious about this after the
(04:10):
weekend.
But hopefully you're not.
Most people right?
You're here, you're listening tothis.
You want more.
You want to stop spinning yourwheels and actually make
sustainable progress for realthis time.
So let's be honest and let'stalk about what's going on.
You don't suck at losing weight.
You suck at sticking with itlong enough to see the results.
That's it.
You don't need another diet.
(04:31):
You don't need a new app.
You don't need a trainer.
You don't need a juice cleanseor any other jumpstart challenge
.
You need to stop quitting.
You need to build followthrough like it's a muscle
Because it is quitting.
You need to buildfollow-through like it's a
muscle because it isFollow-through is the boring,
unsexy secret behind everytransformation story.
It's not about being perfect,it's about not quitting.
(04:53):
Every time you fuck up or youstall, you don't see instant
results.
Think about it.
How many times have you been sogood for a few days, or even
weeks, didn't see the scale dropfast enough and then just gave
up, as if your body was going tolike magically undo?
Years of beating the shit outof you and eating terribly and
creating these bad habits injust a week?
That's not failure, that'simpatience, that's unrealistic
(05:16):
expectations, that's emotionalthinking, but it's also totally
fixable.
So in this episode I'm not goingto sugarcoat anything.
I'm here to hold up the mirrorand say, hey, maybe the plan
didn't fail, maybe you justghosted the process, and you
know what?
That's great news, because ifquitting is the real issue, then
not quitting is the solution.
(05:36):
Not being perfect, not slayingevery workout or even working
out at all for all, I care, andit's not living on broccoli and
fucking kale, just not quitting.
That's the shift and that'swhat we're going to dive into
and the rest of this episode.
We're going to break downexactly why you quit, how to
spot the triggers and, mostimportantly, how to build the
(05:57):
kind of grit and follow throughturns I'll start over on Monday
into.
I'm going to keep showing up,no matter what.
This isn't about, like hustle orguilt, tripping yourself into,
pushing through injury orexhaustion.
This is about building trust inyourself.
It's about becoming the kind ofperson who follows through, not
just when it's convenient orexciting, but when it's
(06:17):
inconvenient and boring and hard, because that's where the real
transformation happens, not inthe first week hype, not the
motivational quotes, but in thequiet decision to keep going.
So if you've ever looked in themirror and said, hey, why can't
I just stick with this, thisepisode is going to be your
answer.
You're not a failure, you justkeep quitting.
(06:38):
So let's change that starting.
How about right now?
Let's talk about that nastylittle voice in your head.
You know the one that loves towhisper you always fuck this up.
The one that shows up everytime you skip a workout, whether
you overeat at dinner or justhave a weekend bender that turns
into a five-day foodfree-for-all.
That voice isn't just annoyingwhich it is, but it's not just
(07:01):
annoying, it's convincing.
No-transcript.
(07:26):
Hi, I'm Jonathan and I can'tfollow through.
But let me be clear you are nota failure.
You just haven't built theskill of follow through and,
more importantly, you've beentrapped in a cycle of starting
hard, burning out and blamingyourself for it.
And that doesn't make you afailure.
That makes you a human being ina system that rewards
(07:47):
perfectionism and punishesconsistency.
So here's how it usually goesright.
Like I said before, you getfired up new week, new diet, new
you.
You clean out the fridge, youbuy all the greens In my case, I
bought all kinds of shit juicer, whatever you vow to work out
every day, which, no matter howmuch I vow that, I don't think I
got to do that, but you vow towork out every day and you're
(08:08):
never going to touch sugar again.
And you crush it.
On Monday, tuesday, you'refeeling great.
Then Wednesday happens you're alittle tired, you're sore, the
motivation dips a little bit andby Thursday you slip, you eat
something off plan.
Or Thursday you slip, you eatsomething off plan.
Or maybe you miss a workout.
And suddenly the spiral begins.
You label yourself a failure,you say, ah, screw it.
(08:29):
You binge and then you quit.
And then, of course, comes theguilt.
And what do you do with theguilt?
You eat more, you do less.
And then you say, see, I alwaysdo this.
And boom, that's how thispattern reinforces itself.
But the truth is the plan didn'tfail, you just didn't keep
going.
You didn't need to be perfect,you just needed to keep showing
(08:49):
up.
But you've been trained tobelieve that if you can't do it
perfectly, it's not worth doingat all.
And that's bullshit, thatmindset, that's the real failure
.
If we look at perfection,recall what it really is it's
just an excuse to quit whenthings get messy or ugly or hard
.
You're not failing becauseyou're not capable.
You're failing because you'reexpecting yourself to be
(09:11):
flawless.
And when you're not, because,by the way, hello, you're a
fucking human being.
You bail, you confuse a bad daywith a bad identity.
You let one mistake define thewhole journey.
And again, let me say it loudfor the people in the back here
One bad choice does not eraseyour progress.
One small bad choice does noterase your progress.
(09:33):
You know what does Quitting,quitting erases your progress.
And the people who get results?
They're not perfect.
I tell you, all the time I fedmy soul.
I ate some stuff that peopleconsider bad, but I'm down over
140 pounds.
So people that get the results,they just don't stop.
They have bad days and theybounce back, they overeat and
then they go out for a walk orthey skip a workout which I
(09:53):
skipped every single workoutbecause I never went to the gym
but then they show up the nextday.
They have pizza, withoutturning into a three-day food
banner.
You can do this.
You are allowed to feed yoursoul.
You're not broken, you're justuntrained.
Right?
Think of consistency and followthrough as muscles.
If you never train them or youonly train them when you feel
like it, of course you're goingto be weak.
(10:14):
Those muscles are going to beweak.
When you say things like I'mjust lazier, I can't stick with
anything.
I'm an emotional eater.
What you're really saying is Ihaven't built the tools to deal
with this yet.
What you're really saying is Ihaven't built the tools to deal
with this yet.
And you know, for me, yet iseverything, because it leaves
room for growth In my book Italk about right now.
So you haven't built that yet,but growth isn't linear and it's
(10:37):
ugly and it's inconsistent andit's full of false starts, but
it's still growth.
So this is what you need toremember.
If you've tried before andstopped, so what?
You're still in the game.
If you've made excuses in thepast, god knows I have made more
excuses.
I'm the king of excuses and theking of yo-yo dieting.
But if you've made excuses inthe past, fine, big fucking deal
(10:59):
.
Let's stop it right now.
And if you believe some liesabout what success should look
like, it's definitely time torewrite the script, because
you're not a failure.
But you do need to get honestabout the pattern that you've
been stuck in, because if youkeep quitting every time it's
hard or it's inconvenient oremotionally uncomfortable,
you'll keep ending up in thesame place over and over and
(11:21):
over.
The magic is not in tryingharder.
The magic is in ready for thisnot quitting.
So if you want to know the realreason you keep quitting, it's
pretty simple.
It's because you built habitsaround quitting and you're
really fucking good at them.
So let's dig into this.
(11:41):
In my opinion, these are thefive biggest reasons people quit
on themselves again and againand again, and what you can do
to stop being one of them.
So number one is this all ornothing thing.
I've talked about it before,but it's really important,
because this is what dietculture is all about.
It's all about if I can't do itperfectly, I'm not doing it all
, and that one is a killer.
You're either 100% clean oryou're up to your elbows in
(12:04):
pizza.
You're either hitting the gymsix days a week or not showing
up for your workouts at all.
If that sounds familiar, look,you make one mistake.
You eat a cookie, you skip aworkout, you have a shitty
weekend and suddenly it's allruined.
So you quit.
Let me give you a big truth bombhere.
One bad choice, like I saidbefore, doesn't undo progress.
(12:25):
Quitting does.
Real progress is made in thatgray area, you know that area
where it's messy and it'sinconsistent.
It's not about perfect streaks.
It's all about not giving upafter you break one.
It's all about not giving upafter you make a bad choice.
Stop thinking of yourself likea light switch, right.
You're either on or you're off.
(12:46):
Start thinking about, I guess,as a dimmer right.
Just keep showing up, even ifyou're 40%.
40% is better than nothing.
The second one is you setyourself up with these
unrealistic expectations Like,for example, if I didn't lose
five pounds this week, it's notworking.
I had a ton of weight to loseand I wanted to have massive
(13:06):
weight loss quick.
And you know, I guess thethought is I should.
I had a lot to lose, so Ishould lose it quickly.
But the reality is, if youthink if I didn't lose five
pounds this week, or two poundsor 10 pounds, whatever your
number is it's not working,that's bullshit.
You want overnight results in asystem that requires long-term
effort.
You expect to see visible absafter five days of eating kale.
(13:27):
That ain't going to happen.
You think the number on thescale should drop like magic
just because you said no tobread twice this weekend.
By the way, you don't have tosay no to anything, but if
that's if you're on a no carbdiet.
But here's the reality.
Your body doesn't care aboutyour fucking deadline.
It doesn't care at all.
It responds to your consistency.
When you don't get instantgratification, you assume that
you're failing, so you quit.
(13:48):
The truth is, if you gaveanything in life just two weeks
and expected mastery, you'd quiteverything.
You'd quit your relationships,your career, your hobbies I mean
just everything.
It would all be gone.
So weight loss and health areno different.
You got to stop expecting thesemassive results with very
(14:09):
little effort.
It takes effort, there's noquestion about it.
It takes effort and it takesconsistency.
The third one is you're chasingsome kind of motivation instead
of building discipline, and youknow I hate the word discipline,
but motivation is a fuckingliar.
It shows up strong on day oneand then it just fails to exist
the minute things getuncomfortable.
If your success depends onfeeling inspired, you're fucking
(14:31):
toast.
Discipline is not about being arobot, and you know I hate
discipline.
I like desire, desire, knowwhat you desire.
It's about showing up when youdon't feel like it.
Because that you said you would, because you know why you want
to lose the weight.
You brush your teeth every dayand every night.
Right, you're not doing itbecause you're thrilled about it
(14:52):
, but you're doing it becausethat's just part of who you are
and that's what we're buildinghere Identity-based habits.
You don't work out because youfeel like it.
You work out because you're thekind of person who does hard
things, even when it'sinconvenient Again, not me, but
I understand why people work out.
So this desire that's muchgreater than the dopamine of
finding motivation.
(15:14):
The fourth reason is, if youdon't have a system, you're just
hoping.
So if you're trying to changeyour life with vibes instead of
systems, you're going to fail.
You tell yourself I'll just eatbetter this week, cool, but
what's the plan?
What's the backup for when thatstress hits or time runs out?
You forget.
If you're a meal prepper, tomeal prep, hope is just not a
(15:34):
strategy.
Systems are what save you whenmotivation dies.
If you're a meal prepper, prepyour meals, schedule your
workouts, set alarms, dowhatever you have to do, but
remove the guesswork and setyourself up to win.
If you've got no structure, noplan, no accountability, of
course you're going to quit.
It's not weakness, it's a lackof structure, it's a lack of a
(15:57):
scaffolding to hold everythingup.
And then five.
This is a big one.
You want to change, but not thepart that feels like change.
Discomfort kind of freaks youout.
Guess what Transformation isuncomfortable.
You're building new habits,breaking old ones and literally
rewiring your brain.
That doesn't feel good at first.
(16:17):
I get it.
And then the second shit getshard when the cravings hit, when
the progress plateaus, whenit's day 17,.
You're still not there yet youpanic, you think something's
wrong, you think that you failed, so you quit.
But discomfort is not a signthat you're broken.
It's a sign that you're growing.
And if you just stay in it,even just for a few more days,
(16:39):
you start to build the kind ofmental muscle that makes you
unstoppable.
So look just quickly a recaphere If you keep quitting, it's
probably because you're stuck inan all or nothing mindset.
You expect instant results, youchase motivation instead of
habits.
You don't have a system and youbail when things get
uncomfortable.
It's and or right.
(16:59):
It's any one of those or all ofthose.
The good news is, every singleone of those is a learned
pattern, and what's learned canbe unlearned.
It's not your genetics, it'snot your metabolism, it's not
your special disease, it's notyour schedule.
It's your mindset and yourhabits, and both can be rebuilt.
So if you've been quitting overand over again.
(17:20):
This isn't your cue to feelguilty.
This is your sign to getsmarter, more honest and more
committed Again.
You're not a failure.
You're just one consistentdecision away from breaking that
quitting cycle for good.
So if you want to know how youbuild that follow through, how
you stick with it, let me giveyou some ideas, because starting
(17:42):
out everything is great, butfinishing is where the power is.
So by now you know, look, I'vegiven you the bullshit reasons
to keep quitting.
And no, it's not because you'relazy or weak or genetically
doomed to snack.
It's none of that.
It's because your systems suck,your mindset needs a tune-up
and you've never actuallytrained your follow-through
muscle.
And yes, follow-through is askill, not something you're born
(18:05):
with, not something youmagically develop when life
slows down.
It's something you practiceeven when it feels awkward or
inconvenient or, honestly,pretty fucking boring or
inconvenient or, honestly,pretty fucking boring.
So let's look at how you buildthat kind of relentless
consistency without burning out,falling off or quitting every
time it gets uncomfortable.
(18:26):
So the first thing I know thisis going to be crazy, but lower
the fucking bar man.
Let's get it out of the way.
Perfection is a trap If yourplan requires you to eat like a
monk, to train like an Olympianor sleep like a baby all night.
You're not building a lifestyle, you're building a meltdown.
So here's the new rule for youDo less.
(18:48):
Do it consistently.
Instead of aiming for a 10 outof 10 day, aim for a solid six
man.
Nail the basics.
Drink your water, move yourbody.
Don't eat like a raccoon in adumpster.
That's it, because you knowwhat A bunch of sixes will
outwork your one perfect 10,followed by five days of zero.
So just lower the bar and thenkeep showing up.
(19:11):
Don't be perfect, just dosomething.
Number two is track your actions, not just the outcomes.
Right, so too many people quitbecause they don't see progress.
They step on the scale, don'tlike the number and decide it's
all pointless.
Again, I was there hundreds oftimes and if that sounds
familiar, yeah, that's becausemost people never make it past
(19:32):
week two on this weight lossjourney, on a diet.
But here's the fix right.
So stop tracking the outcomesand start looking at your effort
instead.
You can't control the scale.
The scale is going to fluctuatedue to so many different things
.
You can control the scale, butyou can control your consistency
.
So track things like did Idrink enough water today?
Did I move today?
(19:53):
Did I say no when I wanted toemotionally Celebrate those
things.
That is your real progress.
The scale will catch up, Ipromise you, but the habits,
they have to come first.
The next thing is build systemsthat don't rely on willpower.
If your entire plan depends onfeeling motivated every day I
(20:15):
got news for you You're fucked.
Willpower is great until yourkid's sick, you're tired, work
sucks and it's raining.
Then what?
That's where the system comesin.
If you're a meal prepper, doyour meal prepping.
Set out your workout clothes,put reminders on your phone,
automate everything that you can.
Remove the friction, Take thatshit out of your house.
That is a trigger for you.
(20:36):
Be aware, Be awake, be mindful.
Every time you open your mouth,think about what you're putting
in.
Make the right choice, the easychoice, because when life hits
the fan, your system is whatsaves you, not your why,
although your why is prettypowerful.
But have a system.
(20:56):
Next one is expect a dip, expecta stall, expect a slowdown and
don't freak the fuck out.
There'll be a phase where thisgets boring, hard and thankless
and you'll be doing everythingright and still feel like
nothing's happening.
That's called the dip.
It's the moment when 99% of thepeople quit, so don't be one of
(21:18):
them.
Expect it, prepare for it, knowthat it's coming, decide in
advance.
You're not backing down.
That's how you beat it, becauseguess what, again, the people
who get results aren't the oneswho never hit the dip.
They're the ones who keepshowing up through the dip.
And, believe me, on my journey,I had some dips and I just kept
going.
And then the last one isbuilding new identity.
(21:39):
Right?
This one's a real kicker.
Keep seeing yourself as someonewho always quits.
You can't stick to anything.
Guess what.
You keep proving yourself right.
So stop focusing on your goalsand start building your identity
.
Instead of saying I'm going totry to lose weight, say I'm the
kind of person who takes care oftheir body.
Instead of saying I want to getfit, I want to be someone who
(22:04):
moves daily, I said that Iwanted to be fit, but then I
realized that in order to dothat, I had to move my body.
So, instead of saying I'm on adiet, say I choose to eat food
that fuels me, but think abouteverything that goes into your
mouth.
Every small action you take isa vote for the person you want
to become.
If you cast enough votes, youwin.
That identity sticks.
So here's the breakdown of thoselast five things I told you One
lower the fucking bar.
(22:24):
Stop trying to be perfect.
Just be consistent.
Track what you do, not justwhat you weigh.
Build systems that work evenwhen life sucks.
Expect the dip and just pushthrough it and stop trying to
change.
Start becoming the person whodoesn't quit.
You don't need more willpower,you need a plan that survives a
bad day.
(22:45):
And you, you're not lazy,you're not a failure.
You've just never been taughthow to follow through.
But now you are.
Now you have no excuse.
I guess we're being honest.
You're not going to be perfectafter this episode.
You're still going to have dayswhere you want to throw the
towel in, you want to door dasha bunch of milkshakes and shitty
food and tell your goals tobasically fuck off, and that's
(23:05):
okay.
You don't need to be perfectAgain.
You just need to stop quitting.
That's it.
Breaking a cycle is not aboutnever screwing up again.
That's impossible.
It's about building awarenessfaster, recovering quicker and
choosing your goals, even whenit's hard or it's boring or it's
emotionally inconvenient.
So what does it actually looklike to break the quitting cycle
(23:28):
for good?
Well, number one, you know I'mall about being mindful, and
mindful eating.
Awareness is your first weapon.
You can't change what you don'tnotice.
Most people don't even realizethey're in a quitting spiral
until they're three quarts ofice cream deep and saying, ah,
fuck it, I'll start Monday again.
So your job in all this iscatch the cycle in the moment
right.
Notice the pattern as it begins.
(23:49):
Here's what that looks like.
If you start skipping the gymjust this once, or you start
eating that donut just this once, you stop tracking your food
because it's been a stressfulweek, or you start saying I'll
just be better tomorrow whilesabotaging today, these aren't
just random bad choices.
They're early warning signs.
When you catch it early, youdon't have to start over.
(24:12):
You can pivot instead of crash.
The second part of that isinterrupt that pattern, and fast
.
Once you see the quittingspiral starting, you need to
slam on the brakes.
Even a tiny action is enough tostop the momentum of a downward
spiral.
Don't overthink it, justinterrupt the pattern.
If you went off track withlunch, make your next meal a
better one.
Make your next choice a small,smart choice.
(24:34):
If you're stressed out and youate a sleeve of cookies, drink a
giant glass of water and don'tspiral.
That interruption is powerful.
It says, hey, I might haveslipped here, but I don't quit,
not anymore.
Number three is have a reboundplan.
You will fuck up, you will falloff track.
So what's your bounce backprotocol?
(24:55):
Too many people fall into panicmode after they fuck up.
Right, they either overcorrector something like I'm going to
fast for the next 24 hours tofix it, or they give up entirely
I'll fuck it.
This week is ruined, I'll startagain next week.
If you have a pre-decided bounceback plan, you know something
that you're going to do, so youdon't go into emotional chaos
when you have a rough moment.
I'm like what does that mean?
What is the rebound plan?
(25:16):
Well, number one is acknowledgewhy it happened without shame,
right, okay, I ate, I wasstressed, I was tired, I was
hungry, I was sad, I was happyhappened.
Then reconnect with your whyand I'm talking about if you
haven't written it down, youshould, but go and read your why
(25:36):
.
Why is it that you want to be onthis journey?
Why is it that you want to losethat weight and then do
something that will ground you?
So, again, make a small, smartchoice Go out for a walk, prep
what you're going to eat fordinner, whatever it is.
Do one grounding action andthen, lastly, get back to basics
.
No punishment, no drama.
Just go back to what you'redoing.
It's not over if you make amistake.
The next thing is you got toget over this guilt thing, right
(25:58):
.
I told you I ate donuts.
I ate whatever the fuck Iwanted throughout my entire
journey.
I still do today.
Half the reason people quit isbecause they feel guilty every
time they mess up and that guiltturns into shame spiral, and
shame loves to binge.
Guess what?
Guilt is a choice, so shut upand choose.
It's not productive, it's notmotivational, it's a trap.
(26:20):
So if you feel guilt, okay fine, feel it.
Then flip it, say like you knowwhat I screwed up, but I'm
human and I'm learning how tobounce back.
Or I ate something that was offthe plan or something that I
shouldn't have eaten.
Okay, that choice is over.
My next choice is what mattersnow.
Your next choice is whatmatters.
Make that small, smart choice.
Next, own that moment, thenmove on.
(26:42):
Guilt only wins if it keeps youstuck.
If it doesn't keep you stuck,if you get past it, the guilt is
gone.
And then really look at thosetimes, like look at those bounce
back wins like they're goldbecause they are.
If you're a workout guy or girl,you track your workouts.
Your tracking was great.
But are you tracking how manytimes you don't quit?
(27:04):
Every time you stop a spiral,mid-sabotage, every time you get
back on track the next meal,every time you go to the gym
after missing a few days, ifyou're a gym person, every time
you choose to show up when youdidn't feel like it.
That's a win.
Track those things.
Celebrate those things, bragabout it if you want to, because
those moments they're the realdifference makers.
(27:25):
Not the scale, not the macros,not any of the bullshit.
It's the follow through.
That's the difference maker.
The truth here is, most peopledon't fail because they can't do
it.
They fail because they keepquitting when it gets hard.
Not you, not anymore.
You're building this newidentity.
You're going to become the kindof person who pauses instead of
(27:47):
panics, who rebounds instead ofspirals, who tracks effort over
perfection and doesn't ghosttheir goals after a bad day.
That's how the cycle breaks Notwith a dramatic overhaul where
you change your entire life, butwith small, smart, powerful
choices made over and over again.
So look, I'm going to wrap thisup.
(28:08):
I've been going for a while.
Hopefully I'm giving you somegreat knowledge here.
If I'm not, then you'reprobably tuned out by now.
But listen, we call that thelie.
We stripped away the shame.
We've exposed every excuse andmindset trap that's kept you
starting, stopping, starting,stopping and staying stuck.
So now let me say this one lasttime, just so we're crystal
(28:28):
clear you are not a failure.
You're just someone who hasn'tbuilt consistency yet.
You've been quitting too soon,expecting too much and giving up
the minute where the resultsdon't show up, like your Amazon
Prime delivery right.
You've been relying onmotivation or chasing perfection
and ghosting your own goals andyour own.
(28:49):
Why, the moment shit gets toughand guess what?
You're not special for that.
You're normal.
You don't have to stay that way, because now you know better,
now you got the tools, now youhave the bounce back plan, now
you've got a choice.
So here's your challenge thisweek after listening to this,
(29:09):
just commit to one thing, not 10.
Don't make a whole lifestylechange, not a full-blown
transformation, just one simplething that you normally quit on.
So you know, I don't know.
Drink water before your meals,or walk 10 minutes a day, or say
no to late night sabotagesnacks.
I don't pick one, do it.
Do it every day.
No skipping.
(29:29):
No, I'll start Monday.
No quitting.
And every time that voice inyour head says you're failing
again, I want to say, nope, I'mjust not quitting this time.
That's what it comes down to.
That's it.
This isn't just a new plan,it's a new identity, and you're
the kind of person who finisheswhat they start, or at least I
hope you are, because you'velistened to this for 30, some
(29:51):
odd minutes.
So now go prove it.
So shut up, choose and followthrough.
That's all I have to say, orthat was a lot that I had to say
about quitting.
But we all do it, we've all.
If you're listening to this, ifyou're frustrated, if you've
been on more than one diet, ifyou're overweight, you've quit.
Wait, you've quit.
(30:11):
But that doesn't define you.
That was who you used to be.
Now you're building a newidentity, the person who follows
through, the person who gets itdone, the person who really,
really makes those small smartchoices every single day.
Not perfectly, but makes someof those small smart choices
every single day, more oftenthan not, 80% of the time, 70%
of the time, whatever it is,you're making small smart
choices consistently.
(30:31):
You know that you will havemoments of weakness.
That's all okay.
The only thing that's not okayis quitting.
Do not quit.
Slow down, take a day off, butdo not quit.
So that's it.
That's all I have to say aboutquitting.
If you want to know more aboutmy journey, you can buy my book.
(30:53):
Shut Up and Choose.
It's on Amazon.
We're an Amazon bestseller.
I always say this, but it's thepart of this that really gets
me the most excited.
I get emails from people allthe time saying how reading my
book literally changed theirlife in more aspects than just
weight loss.
But weight loss is the one bigone that I'm excited about.
It gives you the mental freedomto really understand why and
how to lose weight but, mostimportantly, how to keep it off
(31:14):
sustainably.
If you're more of a visuallearner, I have a video course
called the Effortless WeightLoss Academy.
It's 23 videos.
You can watch the whole thingin probably two hours maybe a
little more, maybe a little less, but it really takes you
through the mindset and how toget your head in the game,
because mindset is by far thebiggest part of weight loss.
It's mental warfare and youhave to get your mind right
(31:36):
before you can get your bodyright.
You can get that atlearnshutupandchoosecom.
That's learnshutupandchoosecom.
That's it for my commercials.
Hopefully, after listening tothis, you're not going to be in
the ranks of the quittersanymore.
You're not going to look forperfection.
You're not going to beatyourself up if you make a
(31:56):
mistake.
You're not going to say, ah,fuck it, I made it, yeah, I'll
start Monday.
You're going to leave all thatbehind.
You're not going to quit.
You don't have to be perfect,but you're not going to quit.
So now, really, the choice isyours.
I leave it to you.
The only thing left to do is toshut up and choose.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose.
Jonathan's passion is to sharehis journey of shedding 130
pounds in less than a yearwithout any of the usual
gimmicks no diets, no pills.
And we'll let you in on alittle secret no fucking gym.
And guess what?
You can do it too.
We hope you enjoyed the show.
We had a fucking blast.
(32:39):
If you did, make sure to like,rate and review.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, find Jonathan on
Instagram atJonathanWrestlerBocaRaton.
Until next time, shut up andchoose.
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