September 18, 2023 • 56 mins
From the basketball courts to corporate boardrooms, Alan Stein Jr.'s journey as a speaker, author, and performance expert is unparalleled. With over 15 years of experience working alongside basketball titans like Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and Stephen Curry, Alan has honed his skills as a performance coach, ensuring the world's best got even better. Beyond physical prowess, he instilled in them an unshakeable foundation of habits, mindset, focus, and discipline—the very principles he brings to the corporate world today.
In this episode, we delve deep into the essence of high performance. From revealing the unexpected nutritional intricacies of a PB&J sandwich to sharing the significance of the basics in achieving mastery (like Kyle's Jiu-Jitsu journey and Gladwell's 10,000-hour theory), Alan offers a unique perspective on peak performance. Moreover, he opens up about the challenges of balancing a demanding career with fatherhood, offering insights on how to avoid the modern traps of comparison in our social media age.
What sets Alan apart? Before gracing corporate stages, he was globally recognized as a top-tier performance coach in basketball. He wasn't just training athletes in their physical game, but in leveling up their mental prowess and discipline. Today, Alan transfers that expertise to business leaders and organizations, teaching them to employ the same strategies, rituals, and routines that have propelled elite athletes to global acclaim.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, executive, or an intrigued listener, Alan’s tales and teachings promise a transformative experience. Ready to explore the principles that power world-class athletes and successful businesses alike? Dive in.
Learn more About Alan:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AlanSteinJr/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlanSteinJr
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlanSteinJr
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-stein-jr/
Website: https://alansteinjr.com/
As you're inspired to embark on your own side hustle journey after listening to this episode, you might wonder where to start or how to make your vision a reality. That's where our trusted partner, Reversed Out Creative comes in.
With a team of experienced professionals and a track record of helping clients achieve their dreams, they are ready to assist you in reaching your goals. To find out more, visit www.reversedout.com. We also recently launched our YouTube Channel, Marketing Pro Trends, which summarizes all of our blog posts.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome to Side Hustle City and thanks for
joining us.
Our goal is to help you connectto real people who found
success turning their sidehustle into a main hustle, and
we hope you can too.
I'm Adam Kaler.
I'm joined by Kyle Stevie, myco-host.
Let's get started, all right?
(00:31):
Welcome back everybody to theSide Hustle City podcast.
Kyle Stevie once again at myside here.
Yep, looking good, kyle, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Feeling good.
Yeah, yeah, he just dogged Ohioright before the show because
I'm trying to he dogged Likeoutside of South Carolina.
It's the worst drivers inAmerica for no reason whatsoever
.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah that's Chicago.
That's definitely not us.
I mean we're pretty bad, butAnyway, we've got Alan Stein
joining us today.
Alan Alan Stein Jr, right.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
That is, we can add the Jr just makes it easier for
SEO and for people to find meand if you ever get a chance to
meet my dad, he'll make the dadjoke that he's the original and
I'm the carbon copy.
So yeah, I'm the Jr on therefor fun, of course, of course.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Well, and that's like the football players now too,
right?
They all got Jr or Sr orwhatever on their thing.
He should put Sr.
He should get a jersey, justwalk around when he's with you
and just have SR at the end ofhis name.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
He absolutely should.
That'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
So, alan, you a success coach.
You work a lot with businesses,you do a lot of public speaking
.
It looks like the list of namesof businesses Pepsi, starbucks,
amex, penn State, charlesSchwab the list goes on and on
here.
It's awesome to have you on theshow, somebody who's trusted by
(01:46):
organizations like that.
So welcome to the show and lovehaving you.
Oh, man, well, thank you somuch.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
It's great to be with you guys.
You know, it just popped intomy mind kind of with this junior
versus senior thing.
So most of my career I spent inthe basketball performance
training space.
So I spent 20 years as a stringthing conditioning coach in the
basketball space and had anopportunity to work with some
pretty elite level players andcoaches and when I was doing
that I simply went by Alan Stein.
(02:15):
Then in 2017, when I decided toleave the basketball world to
pursue the corporate keynotespeaking and the stuff I'm doing
now, when I went to get the URLalansteincom, it was already
taken, as were some of thesocial handles, so I needed to
add that junior so I could getalansteinjuniorcom and at
(02:35):
alansteinjunior on Instagram andTwitter and so forth.
So some of it was for branding.
But from an SEO standpoint, youknow, anything you find with
just Alan Stein is usually whatI did in my previous career of
basketball and anything with thejunior kind of separates to
what I'm doing now.
But yeah, you hit it on thehead.
That is my main focal point nowis helping both individuals and
(02:57):
organizations improve theirindividual and collective team
performance.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and I'll throw your URL out there.
Is it alansteinjuniorcom that?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
is it?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, so you even put the junior on your domain name.
That probably made it easier tofind and buy and it was
available.
Absolutely yeah, I love it.
I love it.
I mean on my website I see awho's who here of of ball
players that you worked with.
I mean you got Kevin Duranthere, you got Kobe, you got I
mean, look at these guysLeBron's on there, Curry's on
(03:28):
there.
I mean this is prettyimpressive.
How'd you get into the wholeNBA basketball world?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Well, for context, basketball was my first love and
my first passion, and I fell inlove with the game when I was
five years old.
And here I'm knocking on thedoor of being 50 years old and
I'm proud to say that I'm righthere with you.
You know, four decades later,basketball is still a major
pillar of my life and you know Iwas able to play the game up
through the collegiate level.
I played at Elon University, asmall school in North Carolina,
(03:58):
and when I graduated from Elon,I only saw one direction that I
wanted to go and that was tostay heavily involved in the
game.
So I became a basketballstrength and conditioning coach,
which would be later calledperformance coach, and I helped
players improve theirathleticism, the way that they
would move on the court, as wellas their mindset and their
approach to the game.
(04:18):
And I was able to work at twopretty renowned high schools
here in the Washington DC area,which is where I'm from and
where I currently live.
Both of those schools have putover a dozen players in the NBA,
so that got me someopportunities to work for Nike
and Jordan Brand and USABasketball.
So I'm incredibly grateful andvery thankful that I've had some
(04:39):
amazing opportunities to workfor, and work with, and work
alongside and observe somereally elite players and coaches
, and I've taken all of thatstuff that I've learned from
them their mindsets, theirroutines, their disciplines,
their habits, their strategies,their approaches and I now focus
that to help entrepreneurs,executives, business leaders,
(04:59):
managers, sales professionalsshow folks how to apply those
same strategies to theirbusinesses.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, before we dig into any ofthose techniques, what is up
with the peanut butter and jellysandwiches that all the NBA
players eat?
Have you heard this thing where, like I think it was LeBron's
that was eating these peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches he's
like it's the best thing to eat, or whatever before a workout
or before a practice orsomething?
Did you have you heard aboutthis thing?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Well, I can attest that I've been eating peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches myentire life and still, to this
day, do Now.
I will say that the quality ofpeanut butter, jelly and bread
is much better today than what Iused to eat when I was much
younger.
And if you go to a whole foodsof sorts and you get a really
natural peanut butter withminimal ingredients and you get
(05:46):
a high quality jelly without alot of extra sugars and
preservatives and you get arefined and high quality bread,
yeah, it can be a reallynutritious snack pre or post
workout, mostly because of themacros.
It has good fats it has goodcarbs, and it mixes every day
and protein, of course, in orderto make it a really nutritious
(06:08):
snack.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Well, if it's good enough for those guys, good
enough for me.
And Kyle Stebe, right?
Oh my God.
Kyle says he doesn't even needto work out, he's an MMA guy so
Keep saying that I'm like.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I'm not an MMA guy, I'm the worst Jiu-Jitsu guy in
my gym.
I'm the worst purple belt inthe United States right now.
I'm the glass like.
I'm the glass Joe of thecompetitive circuit.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, I'm glad you said that, because guess what we
have the man on right now.
What would you tell Kyle?
First of all, I would say thisattitude he's got is probably
needs to go right.
This defeatist attitude isnihilistic outlook, like he
keeps going to the gym and hekeeps saying he's the worst.
He has to be making someprogress over here Alan.
Worst purple belt Worst purplebelt.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
yeah, there's a big difference between a white belt
and a purple belt.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
There is a big difference and I have the utmost
respect for anyone that justgoes to the gym, but certainly
anyone under that MMA orgrappling or fighting or contact
sport or Jiu-Jitsu or boxing ormixed martial arts.
Just the other day on a flighthome I watched that four-part
docuseries about Conor McGregorand just have the utmost respect
(07:14):
for and I say this with a hugesmile and a wink anyone crazy
enough to do those types ofsports and activities.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Absolutely has my respect.
I got a guy from our gym that'sin the UFC now and he moved to
Vegas.
When he moved to Vegas, that'swhere he does all.
That's where he does all.
He lives there now for all histraining.
He was getting something at aconvenience store and his ears
are all shriveled up.
They look like buttholes on theside of his head.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh yeah, most of those guys have the cauliflower
ears from years of the wrestlingand the grappling and the oh my
goodness, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So he was in a convenience store and a
firefighter in his uniform cameup to him.
He goes are you, will you fight?
He said yeah, I just signedwith the UFC.
He goes man, you guys are nuts.
Chris looked at me and said yourun into burning buildings for
a living, I just get punched inthe face.
They're not the same.
That's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah.
What are these books back here?
You got the.
Raise your Game, sustain yourGame.
Are these things that you wrotehere?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Those are yeah.
So Raise your Game was my firstbook.
The subtitle to that is HighPerformance Secrets from the
Best of the Best, and it'sreally where I took a collection
of all of the biggest lessons Ilearned from Basketball's Best
and share folks how to applythose to their business and
their lives, and that came outin 2019.
And then, just over a year ago,I came out with the follow-up,
which is Sustain your Game HighPerformance Keys to Manage
(08:35):
Stress, Avoid Stagnation andBeat Burnout, which is kind of a
built on the first book,although they're completely
separate works and could be readin any order.
But it's been my experiencethat once you've kind of gotten
to a groove of what you need todo to perform at your best, the
main things that will undermineyour performance for long
periods of time are stress,stagnation and burnout.
(08:57):
So that was really the focalpoint of the second book.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
That's hilarious because there's a school of
thought that says you don'tburnout, you just plateau and
then level up.
You got to break through theburnout.
I don't know that I've evertrained hard enough to truly
burnout to see if that'sactually true or not.
But I was reading about thatand I was like I don't know,
because I know that I get burnedout at work.
But I guess you get a newchallenge and it changes it and
(09:21):
then you get a little bit moreexcited.
Where do you find that theburnout occurs?
Is it because they're in weekseven of a 16 week preseason and
they're preseason camp beforethey get to report the teams?
Or you got guys that are in, Idon't know.
They've got a project that'sgot to be finished at the end of
the quarter, but they're a weeksix and they've been just
(09:42):
burning both ends of the candle.
But where do you find that theburnout occurs?
And that is.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Well, on a macro level, burnout is when your
passion and your purpose fordoing something no longer aligns
with the sacrifices that you'remaking, the commitment that
you're making, the hours thatyou're putting in, the effort
that you're putting in.
When those two things start tosplinter in different directions
, that's when you're at risk ofburnout.
That's kind of on a macro level.
(10:06):
On a micro level, yeah, if wedon't take care of ourselves and
we do try to burn the candle atboth ends and we lack sleep and
we stop working out and wedon't eat healthy food and we
don't nourish our minds as well,we can literally
physiologically start to burnoutand just not have the requisite
energy or enthusiasm oroptimism to do something that we
(10:27):
once did at a very high level.
We start to see that waning.
So we have to constantlyrecalibrate.
If we're finding ourselvesfeeling the initial onsets of
burnout, we need to figure outwhat's the impetus to that.
Is it no longer an alignmentbetween what it is that we want
to get out of this and thesacrifice that we're making?
If you start to lose the lovefor Jiu Jitsu but you keep going
(10:52):
every single night for a coupleof hours, you will be at risk
for burnout.
To me, the reason you haven'texperienced that yet is because
you still have a tremendousamount of passion and purpose in
what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I think at the macro level for entrepreneurs, because
they get so consumed and theyget so into the grind that they
don't know about it that they'vehit burnout until the wife goes
.
We're getting divorced.
I'm leaving, see you.
Oh yeah, you need that externalknock on the door saying, hey,
it's time to refocus on whatwe're doing here.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yes, absolutely.
I mean that word grind is oftenused on the entrepreneurial
journey.
The only way that type ofcommitment and those type of
hours and that type of energy issustainable is if you
absolutely love what you'redoing and you believe in what
you're doing and that why andthat purpose continues to fuel
you and drive you.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I love it.
Well, I think also, justdifferent people need to be
motivated in different ways.
You've got the folks thatlisten to this podcast.
A lot of them got just regularold nine to five jobs.
Maybe they like the job, maybeit's what they went to school
for, maybe it's their second orthird attempt at a career, but
it just it runs the gamut.
Right, there's no perfect.
(12:04):
There's no perfect profile forwho wants to do a side hustle
and I would venture to guess alot of the people you're talking
to you go into these bigorganizations.
I mean, for 15 years it lookslike you were working with these
NBA players Kevin Durampy, andone of them probably top 5% of
all NBA players that have everlived and just an absolute beast
(12:27):
.
But he was essentially builtand made for playing in the NBA,
but he wasn't necessarily madefor the pressures that come
along with that.
Standing at the free throw line, game on the line and you could
say that about almost any sport.
Right, you're helping themphysically get there, but I'm
(12:49):
guessing there's a lot you'velearned from these people that
are playing at the highest levelunder some of the most intense
pressure ever.
How do you take some of thatstuff.
What are some of the mainthings you learn from these
types of folks and how you applythat to your coaching?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Well, there's three.
I mean there'd be a much longerlist, but to be succinct and
respectful of everyone's time,there's three that we can focus
on.
And these are traits of thehighest performers that I've
ever been around and observed inbasketball or business or
anything in between.
And those that are willing toadopt these kind of frameworks
and operating systems have thepotential to perform at a high
(13:28):
level.
The first is the best never getbored with the basics.
The best of the best in anycraft have a respect and
appreciation for thefundamentals.
As Kyle was just mentioning, inJiu-Jitsu he's currently a
purple belt.
Well, you start as a white beltand as you start to improve and
work towards mastery of certainfundamentals in Jiu-Jitsu, then
(13:51):
you're rewarded by moving up alevel to the next belt.
But it's sequential, it'sprogressive.
That's why there is adifference between a white belt
and a purple belt.
Purple belt has a strongergrasp of the fundamentals than a
white belt.
So high performers reallyappreciate and respect those
fundamentals.
In the game of basketball, thefundamentals are shooting and
(14:13):
passing and rebounding anddefending and handling the ball.
If you want to be an elitelevel basketball player, you
have to do those things at avery high level.
Well, it's the same thing as anentrepreneur.
It's the same thing as a salesprofessional and executive.
You've got to work towardsmastery of the core fundamentals
.
The second thing that highperformers do well is they blend
confidence with humility.
(14:35):
They've earned the right to beconfident because they've put in
the work during the unseenhours to get the repetitions to
work on the fundamentals.
So they've earned the right tobe confident.
But they stay humble.
And staying humble is whatkeeps you open to feedback.
It keeps you open to beingcoached by those that have more
experience and expertise thanyou do.
(14:56):
Being humble is what allows youto say that, no matter how good
you get, you can still getbetter.
It's not about playing acomparison game and being better
than anyone else.
Humility is what says no matterhow good I get, I can continue
to get better.
And then the third area thathigh performers do really really
well is they embrace theprocess.
(15:16):
They have very distinct goalsand North stars that they're
trying to achieve, but they puttheir focus on the actual
process, the day-to-daybehaviors and habits and micro
skills and decisions that willincrease the chance that they'll
actually reach that goal.
And the best analogy I canthink of is if you were ever
tasked with building a brickwall.
(15:37):
Well, the juice isn't in thewall, the juice is in each
individual brick.
See, if you can lay eachindividual brick with care and
precision and put it exactlywhere it needs to go, the wall
will just take care of itself,so you don't have to focus on
the wall.
You need to focus on the bricks, and that's what embracing the
process is about.
And, like I said, whether inbasketball, business,
(16:00):
entrepreneurship or jiu-jitsu,those that are willing to focus
on the fundamentals, those thatcan blend confidence with
humility and those that embracethe process, that do those three
things, they give themselvesthe foundation to be really,
really successful.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah and jiu-jitsu.
The greatest key competitor ofall time is Hadra Gracie.
And if you ever watch one ofHadra Gracie's matches, they're
kind of like I don't know.
It's kind of like listening tothe Beatles sing and play music.
You're like I can do that.
They make it so effortless andmake it seem so easy.
And it's not.
It doesn't seem like it'sanything crazy.
(16:34):
When you watch them do it.
It's because the fundamentalsare just so.
I mean he taps the guys at thehighest level with like the most
basic choke you learn in thefirst three months of doing
jiu-jitsu and it's just a basicgets the mountain cross collar
Like that's his, that's hisbread and butter and nobody can
stop it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You know it's kind of oh no, it reminds me of that
and I'm probably going tobutcher it a little bit.
But that famous Bruce Lee quoteabout you know, I don't fear
the man that can do 10,000different kicks, I fear the man
that's done one kick 10,000times.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Because that person's going to have a level of
mastery over that one specificmove.
And yeah, you're so right onthat, and it's.
Isn't it cool to see someonecan ascend to the top of their
craft by only doing that ahandful of basic fundamentals,
but they do them so well.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, and what about you know, Malcolm Gladwell in
his book Outliers, where hetalks about 10,000 hours right,
I believe that's an outliers,right.
And he talks about the 10,000hours.
He talks about Michael Jordan,he talks about Wayne Gretzky, he
talks about these guys.
I mean, is that what you see inthe NBA too?
I mean, is that, is that prettyaccurate?
It is.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
But one thing that's gotten twisted with that is that
folks need to understand thatit's 10,000 hours of deliberate,
purposeful practice.
Some of the components ofdeliberate, purposeful practice
you have a set of objective inmind.
You have real-time feedback tohelp you course correct.
One of the reasons that thatconcept has gotten bastardized
(18:02):
over time is people think it'sliterally just logging the hours
.
Experts of youth basketballplayers make the mistake of
thinking well, if I can get myson to play basketball for
10,000 hours between the age ofeight and 18, then he'll be an
elite level player.
That's literally just logginghours.
That's not the same thing asworking on very specific
(18:24):
fundamentals under the tutelageof competent coaching to make
sure that you're gettingfeedback after each and every
repetition, that you've got anobjective set for a very
specific practice.
There's a difference between agolfer going out and going to
the putting green and trying tomake a 20-foot putt a hundred
times and us just going andplaying putt-putt for a few
(18:46):
hours.
Those two things are notcreated equal.
One is very deliberate andintentional and purposeful and
one is you're just casuallygoing through the motions.
Both fall under the umbrella ofplaying golf, but one of them
is adding to your 10,000 hoursand the other not so much.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
What is it Lombardi who said?
It's not practice doesn't makeperfect perfect, practice makes
perfect, oh.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I think that's all right.
Was that Lombardi?
It might have been.
I mean, that sounds likeLombardi.
No, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
And I've also heard that not even practice makes
perfect, but practice makespermanent.
So whatever it is that you doover and over is going to become
permanent, which is why thedeliberate practice is so
important.
As a basketball player, if yougo out and shoot with really bad
form over and over and over,you'll get good at bad shooting.
Like you're getting in therepetitions, but you're actually
(19:37):
reinforcing and repeatingsomething incorrectly, so you're
kind of working againstyourself.
So just going to the court andjacking up shots casually is not
the same as making sure you'reusing perfect technique and form
every single time that youshoot.
So those are the big separators.
But yeah, malcolm Gladwell'sassertion that putting in 10,000
(19:59):
hours is the road to mastery iscorrect.
I just think we've lost sightof what needs those 10,000 hours
need to consist of.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That totally makes sense.
I mean it was.
It was wild.
Yesterday we had Lionel Messiin town to play FC Cincinnati
you know he's with Inter Miaminow and all the athletes were
down there.
I mean the Reds weren't becausethe Reds were in a doubleheader
in Los Angeles against theAngels.
They broke Tony's arm.
Oh yeah, no, tony's hurt andwhat's his name is going back on
(20:30):
the on the DL too, there arethe center fielder that you see.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But all the Bengals were down there, you know, and I
don't think they were just downthere because you know, fc
Cincinnati said, hey, come andshow up to the FC game.
They wanted to see this guy asmuch as anybody else wanted to
see this guy.
I mean, they're theirprofessional athletes, been to
the Super Bowl, went to the FCChampionship last year and
they're probably still in all ofsomething that this guy, who's
(20:57):
the I mean Tom Brady ofprofessional soccer.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
He's great, and Tom Brady.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Oh, he's better.
Yeah, exactly, I mean he's.
He's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah, Messi is a once in a generation athlete, and
one of the things that I'vealways respected about any high
performers that you just alludedto is they love being around,
studying and learning from otherhigh performers, even people
that aren't in their directvocation, you know.
I mean musicians study athletesand athletes study actors and,
like anyone that performs theircraft at a high level, there's
(21:29):
something for all of us to learnfrom.
So even if you don't watchsoccer, like soccer or know much
about soccer, every personlistening to this show right now
can learn something and takesomething away from Lionel Messi
.
Just his approach.
I mean he does the three thingsI just mentioned before to an,
you know, an unparalleled level.
I mean talk about someone thathas mastered the fundamentals of
(21:50):
the game of soccer.
I mean it's really incredibleand he's probably the most
confident player on the field atany given moment because he
knows he's earned the right tobe that confident.
But he still has coaches, hestill has trainers, he still
listens to competent feedbacknot not stuff that's thrown
around on social media but if hehas a coach that he trusts and
(22:11):
believes in and says, hey,here's something that can make
this part of your game a littlebit better.
He absolutely is open to that.
So you know, I'm sure if youinterviewed him on your show and
I wouldn't doubt it if you'dprefer to have him over me.
But if you interviewed him,there's no way that he would say
I'm as good as I'm ever goingto get, I'm tapped out, I
reached the top, I'm done.
(22:31):
He'd say oh yeah, I still haveroom to improve, I'm still going
to get better, but the LionelMessi next season is going to be
even better than the LionelMessi this season.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
So he blends all of those things broodulate, which
makes sense that you were, andwhat I commend you on is the
fact that you were able to takesomething that you loved.
You played the game.
You played it at a high level.
You were able to turn that intointeractions with some of the
(23:01):
top performers in the world atthe sport.
In the history of the world atthe sport, I'd argue Steph Curry
is probably the best threepoint shooter in the history of
basketball.
I mean, pete Marovitch, Iprobably have something to say
about that too.
But but, but there's, there'ssome really really good guys out
there that you were able tointeract with, just leveraging
(23:23):
your love for the game and thentaking that distilling down into
a program, something that youcould teach people and you just
said it, these guys are going toidolize people in another thing
.
I mean, it carries over intoother, into other ways that you
(23:46):
may not directly see, but theydo, as long as you have those
principles, like you mentioned,those three principles that you
can carry over into somethinglike business and I know you've
probably had this come up, butin any of these things, when
you're talking about all, I metthese guys I used to work with
so, and so I used to work withso and so.
(24:07):
Do you ever have guys like Kylecome up where he's like oh, I'm
just a purple belt and I suckand I'll never be one of these
guys?
Do you get that attitude when?
You get that attitude when,when you run into just regular
folks that you go and speak toat these businesses?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, of course all the time, and I think that's
what makes us human and thatwe're normal.
And you know, one of the thingsto remember is you have to put
a lot of these things intocontext.
I appreciate Kyle's humilityand saying hey, I'm just a
purple belt and I'm one of thelower guys at my gym, but you
have to keep that in perspectiveto everything else around you.
(24:45):
I mean, first of all, whatpercentage of the human
population even has the courageto try something like jujitsu or
Miss Martial Arts?
It's a small subset, you know.
And then, of that, whatpercentage are willing to go to
the gym every single day andgrapple with guys that are more
experienced and have moreexpertise?
I mean, you know and I say thiswith all the respect in the
(25:07):
world like, go to the gym everyday to get a beatdown?
There's not many people thatwould do that.
So, while Kyle may feel likehe's at the lower end of the
spectrum, he's at the lower endof the spectrum of the upper 1%
of the population.
You know, I can speak firsthand.
A couple of years ago I gave anattempt at my first
ultramarathon and I finished inthe lowest 10% of everyone
(25:32):
running and I felt kind ofdejected.
I felt, you know, discouraged,until a friend of mine said the
same thing to me.
He said, of everyone in theworld, how many people sign up
for an ultramarathon?
And of those that do you know?
If you finish in that bottompercentile, you're in the bottom
part of the upper 1%.
If you take a step back, you'restill doing okay and that's, I
(25:55):
think, important from aperspective standpoint.
I mean, you could pick the 15thman on the worst team in the
NBA, whoever will finish withthe worst record this year, and
you could position that assomething negative.
Or you could say this personstill has a job that only 450
people in the entire world has.
(26:17):
If you are on an NBA roster,you are in the upper 0.01% of
anyone that has ever dribbled abasketball.
So while you're the 15th man,maybe the lowest paid, maybe
don't play very much on a teamthat doesn't win very much, you
are still in the upper 0.01% ofpeople that have played the game
.
So it's all about how we chooseto frame it and how we choose
(26:39):
to look at it.
But when you look at the LionelMessi's, the Tom Brady's, you
know, the Steph Curry's, gracie,who he mentioned earlier.
I mean, these people are oncein a generation icons and they
should not be the referencepoint to which the rest of us
play comparison.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, the last race that I ever did was at 10K in
Charleston.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And I woke up the next morning this was like 2012,
.
Because I think running stupidand I just joking, I need to do
it.
And I looked at the paper and Iwas looking at all the times.
When I found my name I was like, oh okay, did it in 54 minutes
or whatever it was.
I felt pretty good about it.
And I got beat by a 12 year oldby 10 minutes.
(27:22):
Oh no, I was like Holy shit.
But then I remembered that Idrank all night Friday night
before the race.
Maybe he did too.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's Cincinnati.
Oh no, that was.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
My stomach was this bridge goes 1.2 miles straight
up, so the ship can gounderneath the.
Cooper River.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Bridge in Charleston.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's huge and I had to do that that stomach from the
beer right about the middle ofthe bridge.
So the last part of that racewas just like me trying to run
as fast as I could to find aport of lead.
It was horrible.
Sorry, I remember your podcast.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, no, that's funny.
Well, you know what we hadHarvey Lewis on.
I don't know if you know HarveyLewis, but he's an ultra
marathoner.
He won Badwater out in DeathValley.
Yeah he's here in Cincinnatiand he actually teaches history
at my high school.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, the performing art school.
It was hilarious.
He was talking about DavidGoggins speaking another one.
It's super focused and hereferences him just as David,
like they're really good friendsand Harvey's like the most
soft-spoken person you've evermet in your life.
But you can see in his eyesthat he can go to dark places.
Wayne needs to like he was gotthat.
He's got that.
A college wrestler look likeI've seen some shit I can get.
(28:31):
I can get dark if I need to getdark.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Well, yeah, the main thread that I pull from this is
and I think we're all kind ofalluding to it is we just have
to be very careful of Playingthe comparison game, because
it's all about reference and anyone of us, in any area of our
life, can easily Find someonethat's doing it much better than
we are, and if we're constantlyplaying that comparison game,
(28:56):
if we're not careful, it canleave us feeling you know less
than feeling like we don'tdeserve To feel good about
ourselves.
So you know Someone that canyou know, harvey, or whether
it's David Goggins.
I mean, these guys areunbelievable at what they do and
we should Look to theirteachings and their strategies
and their approaches and theirportions of those things we can
(29:17):
emulate.
But at the end of the day and Imean this pun very
intentionally we're all runningour own race and it very rarely
serves us to play the comparisongame in any area, because we're
gonna feel less than, andthat's to me, one of the things
that I've really tried to shiftin my life is I personally am
not worried about being the bestat anything.
(29:39):
I'm worrying about being mybest.
That's all I have control over,and I want to be my best in
every area of my life and I'll.
I'll put my work ethic and mycommitment up against anyone's.
But it's not because I'm tryingto outdo someone or outshine
someone.
I just want to be the best thatI'm capable of, and, you know,
other people feel motivated tobe the best and there's nothing
(30:01):
wrong with that.
I just think what's mostimportant is each of us finds
the perspective in the operatingsystem that works best for us,
and that, that, I think, is, youknow, for anyone listening,
especially in the entrepreneurspace, is really important.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's the danger of social media.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Right I was just gonna bring up the social media
stuff like this.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
That's, that's the danger of, because, regardless
of age, I know that teenagersget the the main brunt of the
news coverage because of, youknow, unfortunately, teen
suicides and such.
But there are a lot of peoplethat Overstretch their lives and
over leverage their lives forthe sake of getting likes and
looking like they're keeping upwith all their competition,
whether the competition is theguy with a better yard or
(30:45):
whether it's business owners inthe same industry.
There's, I mean, people theyjust can't wait to put every win
on there, or Some of thosepeople put their other dirty
laundry on there too.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
No, those guys are just well what scares me the
most is people having to feellike they have to keep up with
everybody, and there's a lot ofpeople out there that are just
full of it, like they're not.
I mean, look at all thesesocial media influencers and
stuff, all I mean.
How many, how many multimillionaires are are there out
there that are 22 years old, Imean, but they seem to be all
over YouTube.
They're all over Instagram.
(31:17):
It's like oh, I became amillionaire at you know 17.
Oh, did you?
Because there's 800 otherpeople on YouTube saying the
same thing.
And when you look at the stats,there's just not that many
people out there that areactually hit that, you know, hit
that goal in their life.
That young and people, bywatching these things and not
seeing the losing stories, right, they only see the winning
(31:40):
stories and they sometimes theysee Hyperbolic, which I'd say
most of them are stories.
You know, they comparethemselves to that, I mean, and
that's that's exactly whatyou're talking about, alan.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah, well, and sadly , that is one of the major
downsides to social media isit's kind of designed To make us
play the comparison game.
That's why we have to be veryguarded and very protective of
that.
And you know, as you just said,you know what if you did have a
side hustle that wasinternet-based and you made a
couple hundred thousand dollarsa year, well, if you're
(32:12):
comparing yourself to someonethat's making a million dollars
a year, that might make you feela little discouraged and
dismissed, but that's somethingto be incredibly proud of.
And and I was just throwingthat out there is a reference.
In my opinion, if you have aside hustle that you enjoy, that
you get passion from that, thatyou love whatever it is that
you're doing, then don't worryso much about the outcome.
(32:34):
If you love the process and youlove the work and you love what
you're doing, you've alreadywon.
Now, if that also turns intosomething that's profitable,
something that opens up doorsand opportunities, that's just
an added bonus.
But the real key is learning tolove the work.
See the folks that only loveoutcomes.
Well, that's gonna be a lot ofebbing and flowing, you know,
(32:56):
whereas you can be much moreconsistent if you learn to love
the work.
But that's why we just have tobe careful about playing that
comparison game, because nomatter how good you get at
something, someone out there isa little bit better, and that's
okay.
Just continue to run your raceand focus on the things that you
have control over.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So do?
You had to have thatconversation with chris paul
when you're talking about kairierving.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Yeah, I mean you know all of these guys.
I mean, think about it.
Even, let's even use labran asan example.
I mean you're talking about,once again, a generational type
talent, you know, and peoplekeep having that the goat debate
.
And here labran is one of thebest players to ever play the
game and he can't even escape.
Well, you're not as good asmichael jordan, you know.
(33:40):
I mean it.
Just the comparison game isjust incredible and even with
messy I mean messy is I meanwe're seeing what he's doing in
real time but there's stillpeople that will say, you know,
rinaldo's better, neymar'sbetter, pele was better 30 years
ago.
You're never going to pleaseeveryone all of the time and
there's no way you'll get aconsensus on anyone being the
(34:04):
goat in anything.
I mean even even look at theworld's richest man.
It depends on the day it does.
The slack market is doing,whether or not you know Elon
Musk or Jeff Bezos or somebodyelse.
It's just, it's pretty insane.
So for me, I think we can andshould use social media as a way
(34:25):
to share, as a way to engageand meet people, as a way to
learn.
We just have to be very carefulof the downside, of using it as
a comparison tool.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Well, there's a couple of things that I think
make your website elite.
I think your logo is awesome.
Whoever did that logo, youshould, you should congratulate
them.
As somebody who does logos,that logo is freaking sweet, I
love.
I love the way it was puttogether and then also the way
you set up your website.
Under the speaking section, youhave this raise your game,
(34:54):
raise their game, raise our game, raise your sales, sustain your
game.
I love the way you kind of setthat up.
Instead of saying hey for youknow, for business owners, for
whatever you, you, you, you putit in context of what, what
you're good at, which is youknow, what you understand, which
is basketball, and the wayyou're going to present things,
(35:15):
and I really, really like that.
Explain how that's broken outand and who you're targeting.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Sure.
So you know, for my messageit's pretty industry agnostic.
I mean I can speak in almostany industry or any vertical,
because I'm not talking aboutthe specifics or the nuances of
that industry.
I'm talking about generalprinciples, performance and
leadership and communication andculture principles.
So you know, raise, your gameis designed for a group that
(35:43):
wants me to focus on eachindividual team members,
individual improvement.
You know, raise their game ishow do we improve as leaders?
You know, how can I makesomeone more impactful and
influential so that they canlead to a higher degree?
Raise, our game is aboutteamwork and collaboration and
how can we improve our cultureas a group?
Raise your sales is is fairlyself-explanatory.
(36:06):
That's for anyone that'sselling any product or service
and wants to get better at that.
And then sustain your game ismore about the stress and
stagnation and burnout that wetalked about before.
So when a group is deciding tobring me in to speak, they need
to decide who is the intendedaudience and what are they
trying to get out of this, andthen that helps determine which
of those tracks makes most sense.
(36:26):
And most groups that bring mein want somewhat of a collection
or a curation of multiple.
You know they want each memberof the team to improve their
individual performance, but thenthey also want everybody to be
able to play together nicely inthe sandbox so that they've got
really good teamwork.
So many times I'm customizing aprogram that blends many of
(36:47):
those together.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Oh, yeah, how many speaking engagements you have a
year.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
So the goal for me is to do 60 a year you know if I
can average just around one aweek.
That tends to work out reallywell for me.
I'm a very amicably divorcedfather of three, so I've got
13-year-old twin sons and11-year-old daughter that live
with my ex-wife about 15 minutesaway, so that 60 speaking
engagements a year keeps me homeenough to be a present father
(37:14):
when I have my children, butthen it allows me to kind of
travel and do what it is that Ilove to do when I don't.
And you know, plus or minusfive on either end of that is
probably somewhat doable.
But I've got friends in thespeaking industry that do 120
gigs a year, wow, and I justknow that would be way too much
for me to manage and balance theother areas of my life that are
(37:35):
very important.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
You see any potential in the court with those kids.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
You know they're decent players.
I mean it's all three of themplay youth hoops and you know
it's been really interestingfrom a parenting perspective.
I would say that all three ofmy children really like
basketball, but I wouldn't saythat any of them absolutely love
basketball.
I wouldn't say that any of themare obsessed with basketball,
and that's okay.
(38:00):
You know, as a parent I justwant them to do something that
they enjoy.
Now all three have expressed tome that they have the goal of
playing college basketball and Itold them that is a wonderful
goal.
But I've also let them knowthat if that is your goal, at
some point you're going to needto turn that switch on so that
you love basketball.
You know, I mean I obsessedthis kind of a dangerous word,
(38:22):
but you know you don't want aday to go by that you don't do
something to work on your game,because that's what's going to
be required for you to earn anopportunity to play college
basketball.
You know I say veryrespectfully my kids will have
very normal athleticism.
They'll have normal size.
I mean I'm six one, so they'll.
They'll be fortunate if they'reanywhere close to six feet.
(38:42):
But it's not like I've gotthree children that are, all you
know, six foot 11, 280 pounds,with no body fat, and can jump
out of the gym Like.
If they're going to playcollege basketball it's going to
be because they're very skilled, they're in great condition,
they're great leaders and greatteammates.
So they need to work on thosethings to earn that opportunity,
(39:03):
and I remind them of that daily.
But at the end of the day, I'mokay with them really liking
basketball and that that's justone pillar of them having well
rounded lives and and I have noproblem with that whatsoever-
God, I wish I would have beenlike that.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
I'm telling you I would.
I don't do anything like thatwith Charlotte, with the
volleyball, and she absolutelyloves it and wants to hit all
the time.
She's not listening to this.
I can say this she doesn'tquite have the athletic.
She'll have the height to be acollege setter, but she doesn't
quite have the athleticism.
I think that it's going to berequired of her to play college
(39:39):
like college ball ball at thelevel that she would like to
play at.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
But Cayman and Elijah , I have boys that are not mind
genetically and this is why Ican say this because Kyle's kind
of built like a, like aNeanderthal, like you see, the
like, the easy he's kind of gotthat build not, not, I wouldn't
say the volleyball build.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
No, but my, but one of my, my sons are.
They were division one athletes.
I mean, I grew up with divisionone, with division one athletes
.
I've played against divisionone athletes.
I've watched these guys playsoccer.
They were late bloomers thatkilled their recruiting, but
they were their division one,like one, six, five, I don't
know when he was playing socceris 195.
(40:15):
He played wing, which is reallyweird for being that tall to be
able to play out wing at likehigh national level.
And the other one could playeverywhere.
They just didn't.
They didn't love it, they likedit, that's what he's talking
about.
Exactly.
But I wasn't okay with thatbecause I grew up like as I was
a grinder, like I had to workout.
I had to, I was, I wasn't anathlete.
(40:36):
I had to make myself faster, Ihad to make myself jump higher.
I did.
Pete Rose hustler.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I am not Pete Rose.
Yeah, but it would be.
Rose wasn't athletically gifted, but he hustled.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, charlie hustle, he was athletically gifted
enough to play in a major leaguebaseball for 23 years, so let's
not pretend he was just a small.
He did play football too.
Yeah, yeah, western Hills.
Yeah, but I, I took thatmentality.
I just couldn't wrap my brainaround the fact that they
weren't going up to the soccerfield, which was like is a turf
field that the high schoolplayed at.
(41:05):
That's another thing I wasasking him about three quarter
mile walk from the house andthey would only go up.
Their friends were going up andI it.
I wish I would have been likeokay with just them enjoying
what they were doing, but I soyou?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
you didn't have the talent, but wanted it.
They had the talent.
You couldn't understand whythey didn't want it.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And this is the kids, that kids that they grew up
with are all like you know, onekid played in two of the NCAA
finals last two years with IU.
Another one's just was thefirst kid to sign with FC
Cincinnati on a homegrowncontract.
So they're playing with kidsthat were like legit.
I was just like oh my now what?
Elijah's?
Just like stabbed me in thestomach the other day.
(41:46):
He goes.
Do you see?
Kimi started for FC Cincinnati.
I said yeah, he goes.
I should have worked harder.
I said you haven't think.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Alan talk about this situation that we're discussing
right now.
Do you know anybody that's inthis?
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Well, for me what's most important as a parent and
is I want my kids to understandthat this is their journey and I
give them the autonomy to maketheir decisions, and I believe
my role as a parent is to helpguide them and encourage them
and support them.
So I make sure that my childrenknow what it's going to take
for them to play collegebasketball.
(42:22):
But it's up to them whether ornot they choose to do it.
And I make sure my kids knowlook, I'm going to love you
unconditionally, no matter whatyou choose, but you're the one
that's going to have to livewith your choices, like you're
the one that's going to face theconsequences.
If you choose to only likebasketball for the next several
years and play when it'sconvenient and have fun with
your friends, there is nothingwrong with that, but you most
(42:45):
likely will not be good enoughto play college basketball.
If that's the route you take,and if you're OK with that
consequence, if you're OK withyour career ending when high
school is over, then I'm totallyOK with it.
Well, I just don't want my kidsto grow up and then start
blaming, complaining or makingexcuses why they weren't able to
achieve something.
I want them to make sure thatthey know you get to make your
(43:07):
own decisions, but you are notfree from the consequences of
those decisions, and reallythat's my chief role as their
parent is to continually remindthem of that.
So I don't, this is just myapproach.
I'm certainly not saying thisis the way everyone else should
do it, but I don't.
I don't force them to work out.
I don't guilt and shame them ifthey don't work out.
All I do is politely remindthem that if you want to be a
(43:29):
college player, this is whatcollege level players do every
single day, and it's up to youto want to do it.
And sometimes they lean intothat and look like they're
getting ready to flip the switch, and then other times they
they're fine with it.
So I don't try to livevicariously through them.
I want them to make thosedecisions, but I can certainly
appreciate with what Kyle saying.
(43:50):
It is hard for me sometimes tonot want to step on the gas and
not say, look, you have any ideahow good you could be if you
would do these things, butthat's that.
That's more of an issue.
That's on my side of the fencethan on theirs.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yeah, like not only you better look in the mean and
you speak better than me.
You're a better father than me.
I think I hate you.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Well, he does this professionally.
Kyle, you do sales like this islike his thing.
You know, and I know you alwayscatch yourself like tying in
some of the principles thatyou've learned and some of the
stuff you wrote in your book,with your parenting too, and do
you ever catch yourself like, oh, I shouldn't be, maybe I
shouldn't tie the two together.
Or you like blessed that youknow this stuff and you've been
(44:36):
around these, these high levelathletes, and you could share
this stuff with your kids.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Well, it's a little bit of both.
I mean, my overall parentingphilosophy is I'm very hands off
, as I just described.
I don't make or force my kidsto do anything.
I let them know what theconsequences are of not doing it
.
I encourage them and I supportthem, but ultimately it's up to
them.
Like I don't make my kids dohomework.
If you don't want to dohomework, don't do it.
(45:01):
And if you fail out of school,see what kind of life you live
in the future.
Like it's, it's on you.
So I don't make my kids eatbreakfast.
You don't want to eat breakfast, don't eat breakfast.
But three hours later, whenyou're hungry and your energy is
plummeting and you're in a badmood and you can't focus, you'll
remember why and that's becauseyou chose not to eat breakfast.
So I, that's just my overallparenting philosophy.
(45:22):
But what's funny is my kidshave come with me on some of my
speaking engagements.
They've heard my talk moretimes than they can count.
So I do have the tendency as adad to occasionally go into
motivation or speak or speak ormode, and they'll hear me say
something that verbatim comesout of one of my keynotes.
And now they're at the agewhere I get kind of the friendly
(45:42):
eye roll where it's like allright, dad, we get it.
So yeah.
But I am trying to balance thetwo because I do believe these
things are all intertwined.
I mean, I think the principlesthat make an elite level
basketball player have the highutility of being the same
principles that make someone anelite level entrepreneur or
sales professional and they'rethe same principles that make
someone a good parent.
(46:03):
You know, all of these things,when we talk in the general
principle sense, have highutility and are very versatile,
I believe it, yeah, and I lovethat you can.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
You can use those skills and I guess you know, if
the kids ever get too bad, use afew neighborhoods in DC.
You can drive them around to itright and show them like what
their future could look like.
I mean, I didn't grow up in thebest If you have a bull proof
car.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, you're doing a good G wagon.
I didn't grow up in the best ofneighborhoods.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
It actually might be one of the well, I'd say it's
top three worst in Cincinnati,probably, and Cincinnati's not
got the lowest crime rate in thecountry.
Let's put it that way.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
That's the hilarious part about this whole river
divide too is that you guys haveshitty neighborhoods and
everybody makes fun of Kentucky.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yeah, I don't know why Ours are the worst.
But yeah, so my mom used totell us she did.
She had the same kind ofstrategy.
She was just like don't getarrested because I can't afford
to get you out.
That was as I do it.
Do what you want, you know,make your own decisions.
It ended up working out for us.
But you know, I mean, there's,there's people that are, you
know, helicopter parents andthey just, you know, they want
(47:05):
to know every minute of the daywhere their kid is and know what
they're doing, and sometimesthat could just be a little
overbearing and the kids end uprejecting you and doing exactly
the opposite of what you tellthem to do.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
And on the yeah, on the Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
I'm sorry.
What I was just going to say isthe other part of that.
Parenting philosophy for me isis I try and model the behavior
that I would like to see my kidsemulate, so combining the two.
Like, I don't make my kids eathealthy food, but they see me
order healthy food whenever wego out and over time they might
want to start making that samedecision, like if they choose to
(47:40):
eat something that's ratherunhealthy.
I don't guilt them, I don'tshame them, I don't criticize
them.
I just let them know, you know,if you put that type of fuel in
your body consistently, hereare the consequences of doing
that, and just make sure theyhave all of the information.
Now, with that being said, ofme being hands off, it's still
my job, because of their currentages, to put up some guardrails
(48:02):
.
you know, put up the bumperswhen we're playing bowling.
So you know, my sons will starteighth grade next week, my
daughter will start sixth gradenext week, so they'll all three
be at middle, in middle school,and I need to have a talk with
them about sex, about drugs,about bullying.
You know about a lot of thesedifferent things because that's
my job, as I see it as a parent.
You know.
(48:23):
So when I say that I'm handsoff, this doesn't mean that my
kids are out.
You know smoking cigarettes andgetting tattoos, like I want to
make sure that I'm puttingparameters up, but I try to get
them to make as many decisionsas possible and even with this
pending conversation about, youknow, sex and drugs and bullying
, I'll address the elephant inthe room and I'll say look, I
(48:44):
want to chat with you guys aboutsome things I already know.
This is going to be awkward foryou and it's going to be
awkward for me.
It's going to be uncomfortablefor you and uncomfortable for me
and we'll all probably squirmin our chair a little bit.
But nevertheless, these arevery important things that you
need to know and that I want toshare with you, and I will be as
honest as I can in all of thosedomains.
It's not going to be a scaretactic where I make it seem like
(49:06):
these things are only awful andlead to catastrophic
consequences and there's noupside Like.
I want to provide my childrenwith an honest approach to these
different things, Modelbehavior that I hope they
emulate and then encourage,support them and hold them
accountable to those things asthey move forward.
But but I will say firsthand,and any parent listening knows
(49:27):
this, Parenting is incrediblychallenging.
You know.
It can be a job that gives yousome of the best joy and
fulfillment, but it can also beincredibly frustrating and
exhausting at the same time.
And I certainly do not have theparenting answers.
I'm just doing the best I can.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, it's like this would transfer over.
I think perfectly, though, this, this whole thought, the way
you parent would be the way thatyou would communicate with
business leaders, because thereis a you know, there are two
types of business leaders thatI've come across so the hands
off.
And then there are themicromanagers, which you were
talking about the helicopterparents, and it's the same exact
concept is like you got to, letyou get, or you can tell them
(50:06):
what to do, or you can be overtheir shoulder making them do it
, but what's the point of that?
They're never going to learnwhat they need to learn so that
they can actually fulfill theirpotential as your employee.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
So well said.
Thank you, I see sometimes.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Sometimes I didn't stutter through that one.
I didn't say um.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
He was cognizant of what was coming out of his mouth
.
Yeah, getting better gettingbetter.
Yeah, there you go.
That's all you can do, that'sright.
Well, alamon, this has beengreat.
Tell people and I'd encourageyou know we got some you know
business folks and everything tolisten here and we got, you
know, plenty of Fortune 500companies and all that floating
around Cincinnati here and itlooks like you've got a couple
of Ohio companies you spoke to,smuckers being one of them uh,
(50:49):
on your list here and I meanwhen I go to your website, I'm
looking at you know the previousclients list.
I mean this is a who's who.
This is great.
I mean you've definitely gotthe chops for this.
Tell people how, uh, how, theycan reach out to you if they're
interested in uh, in having youcome talk to one of their
organizations, or I don't knowif you do any kind of like
personal type of things or whatyou, what, what your whole uh
(51:11):
system is, but it definitelylooks like public speaking.
So tell people how they can geta hold of you.
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Yeah, the best thing to do is just go to
alansteingearcom that's kind ofthe hub for everything and if
you're interested in having mespeak at an event or to your
team or organization, there's acontact tab up in the upper
right corner.
Just click that out and my teamand I will get back to you
really, really quickly.
I'm also very accessible andresponsive on social media.
I'm at alansteingear, onInstagram, twitter which I guess
(51:40):
now we're calling X andLinkedIn.
So if anyone has a question orwants to share something or any
part of this awesomeconversation resonated, just
shoot me a DM on Instagram orLinkedIn.
I'm great about getting backwith folks and if you have an
interest in either of my booksraise your game or sustain your
game you can buy those on Amazonor Audible or wherever you like
(52:01):
to get your books and audiobooks.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
But this was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
I enjoyed learning from you guys, and nothing would
make me happier than coming outto either Kentucky or
Cincinnati to do a speakingengagement.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
I love it and it looks like you got some great
content on your YouTube also.
I just went to that and thesound came off for a second, but
it sounds like, it looks likeyou got some really good content
on your YouTube.
People can check out.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
Yeah, Well, over the last year we've really put a
major focus on the YouTubechannel and we try to populate
that with a new video once aweek.
And yeah, just go to youtubecombackslash alansteingear and
Peru.
Some of those subscribe if youthink it's worth your while and
please share those as liberallyas possible.
That's how we get the good wordout.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
I have one more question before we get to this
have you always been like thishappy, like I mean, this is a
good way, is this something thatyou had to work on?
And you were like, okay, I gotto focus in on this extraverted
and well spoken yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
Well, a couple of things to say there.
One I highly identify withbeing an introvert, meaning I
love speaking, I love being withpeople, but it's also what
drains me.
Like no exaggeration, at theend of this conversation I'll
feel like I just ran five milesand that's.
That's a good thing.
So for me, the way that Iactually recoup my energy is in
(53:15):
solitude.
I need lots of alone time,especially after speaking
engagements or interviews.
As far as the happy part isconcerned, no, I am definitely
not always like this.
I am just as moody as anybodyelse you've ever met.
But as a professional who doesa lot of forward facing stuff
like podcast interviews andkeynote talks, as a professional
(53:37):
I know how to compartmentalizeand show up as my best self
consistently.
So it's actually my goal.
For someone on the other end,like you, two guys have no idea
whether or not I've been havinga good day or I've been having a
bad day because I want to makesure that I show up to do my job
to the best of my ability, andI take a lot of pride in doing
(53:58):
that as a professional.
But I've also learned toembrace that when I'm in a bad
mood or I'm feeling discouragedor I'm, you know, whatever.
I'm not my best self.
I give myself some grace to dothat.
I don't beat myself up, I don'tshame or guilt myself Like I
give myself the space to behuman.
I mean I'm flawed and so forth,just like everybody else.
(54:19):
But I will say and this mighthave been more of your question
I've always been high energy,I've always been enthusiastic,
I've always gotten jacked up tohave an opportunity to meet two
cool guys like you and have anawesome conversation for your
audience.
So, like this is all 100%authentic.
This is how I'm feeling.
But then as soon as we hit endin just a couple of moments,
(54:42):
then you'll see me kind of trailoff and I'll be back to recoup
time.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
Well, alan, you know, what that tells me is is the
fact that you are introverted.
It's generally tough for peoplelike that to get up in front of
a room and speak to people likethat and answer questions
afterwards when you're alreadydrained from an engagement like
that.
The fact that you do that,despite you being an introvert,
(55:06):
tells me that you love what youdo and that you have something
valuable to share with people,and you just have to do it Well,
I appreciate that, man.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
This was a lot of fun .
Both of you guys do a great job.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
Yeah, alan, we really appreciate you being on the
show.
It's a lot of good stuff.
And guys go check out AlanStein Jr.
He's all over the place and ifyou got any needs, you want to.
You want somebody doing.
You want to improve your group,you want to improve your
company, you want to improveyourself.
Reach out.
Thanks, alan, thank you guys.
Thanks for joining us on thisweek's episode of Side Hustle
(55:36):
City.
Well, you've heard from ourguests, now let's hear from you.
Join our community on Facebook,side Hustle City.
It's a group where people shareideas, share their
inspirational stories andmotivate each other to be
successful and turn their sidehustle into their main hustle.
We'll see you there and we'llsee you next week on the show.
Thank you, bye.
Welcome to Side Hustle City and thanks for
joining us.
Our goal is to help you connectto real people who found
success turning their sidehustle into a main hustle, and
we hope you can too.
I'm Adam Kaler.
I'm joined by Kyle Stevie, myco-host.
Let's get started, all right?
(00:31):
Welcome back everybody to theSide Hustle City podcast.
Kyle Stevie once again at myside here.
Yep, looking good, kyle, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Feeling good.
Yeah, yeah, he just dogged Ohioright before the show because
I'm trying to he dogged Likeoutside of South Carolina.
It's the worst drivers inAmerica for no reason whatsoever
.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah that's Chicago.
That's definitely not us.
I mean we're pretty bad, butAnyway, we've got Alan Stein
joining us today.
Alan Alan Stein Jr, right.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
That is, we can add the Jr just makes it easier for
SEO and for people to find meand if you ever get a chance to
meet my dad, he'll make the dadjoke that he's the original and
I'm the carbon copy.
So yeah, I'm the Jr on therefor fun, of course, of course.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Well, and that's like the football players now too,
right?
They all got Jr or Sr orwhatever on their thing.
He should put Sr.
He should get a jersey, justwalk around when he's with you
and just have SR at the end ofhis name.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
He absolutely should.
That'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
So, alan, you a success coach.
You work a lot with businesses,you do a lot of public speaking
.
It looks like the list of namesof businesses Pepsi, starbucks,
amex, penn State, charlesSchwab the list goes on and on
here.
It's awesome to have you on theshow, somebody who's trusted by
(01:46):
organizations like that.
So welcome to the show and lovehaving you.
Oh, man, well, thank you somuch.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
It's great to be with you guys.
You know, it just popped intomy mind kind of with this junior
versus senior thing.
So most of my career I spent inthe basketball performance
training space.
So I spent 20 years as a stringthing conditioning coach in the
basketball space and had anopportunity to work with some
pretty elite level players andcoaches and when I was doing
that I simply went by Alan Stein.
(02:15):
Then in 2017, when I decided toleave the basketball world to
pursue the corporate keynotespeaking and the stuff I'm doing
now, when I went to get the URLalansteincom, it was already
taken, as were some of thesocial handles, so I needed to
add that junior so I could getalansteinjuniorcom and at
(02:35):
alansteinjunior on Instagram andTwitter and so forth.
So some of it was for branding.
But from an SEO standpoint, youknow, anything you find with
just Alan Stein is usually whatI did in my previous career of
basketball and anything with thejunior kind of separates to
what I'm doing now.
But yeah, you hit it on thehead.
That is my main focal point nowis helping both individuals and
(02:57):
organizations improve theirindividual and collective team
performance.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and I'll throw your URL out there.
Is it alansteinjuniorcom that?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
is it?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, so you even put the junior on your domain name.
That probably made it easier tofind and buy and it was
available.
Absolutely yeah, I love it.
I love it.
I mean on my website I see awho's who here of of ball
players that you worked with.
I mean you got Kevin Duranthere, you got Kobe, you got I
mean, look at these guysLeBron's on there, Curry's on
(03:28):
there.
I mean this is prettyimpressive.
How'd you get into the wholeNBA basketball world?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Well, for context, basketball was my first love and
my first passion, and I fell inlove with the game when I was
five years old.
And here I'm knocking on thedoor of being 50 years old and
I'm proud to say that I'm righthere with you.
You know, four decades later,basketball is still a major
pillar of my life and you know Iwas able to play the game up
through the collegiate level.
I played at Elon University, asmall school in North Carolina,
(03:58):
and when I graduated from Elon,I only saw one direction that I
wanted to go and that was tostay heavily involved in the
game.
So I became a basketballstrength and conditioning coach,
which would be later calledperformance coach, and I helped
players improve theirathleticism, the way that they
would move on the court, as wellas their mindset and their
approach to the game.
(04:18):
And I was able to work at twopretty renowned high schools
here in the Washington DC area,which is where I'm from and
where I currently live.
Both of those schools have putover a dozen players in the NBA,
so that got me someopportunities to work for Nike
and Jordan Brand and USABasketball.
So I'm incredibly grateful andvery thankful that I've had some
(04:39):
amazing opportunities to workfor, and work with, and work
alongside and observe somereally elite players and coaches
, and I've taken all of thatstuff that I've learned from
them their mindsets, theirroutines, their disciplines,
their habits, their strategies,their approaches and I now focus
that to help entrepreneurs,executives, business leaders,
(04:59):
managers, sales professionalsshow folks how to apply those
same strategies to theirbusinesses.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, before we dig into any ofthose techniques, what is up
with the peanut butter and jellysandwiches that all the NBA
players eat?
Have you heard this thing where, like I think it was LeBron's
that was eating these peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches he's
like it's the best thing to eat, or whatever before a workout
or before a practice orsomething?
Did you have you heard aboutthis thing?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Well, I can attest that I've been eating peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches myentire life and still, to this
day, do Now.
I will say that the quality ofpeanut butter, jelly and bread
is much better today than what Iused to eat when I was much
younger.
And if you go to a whole foodsof sorts and you get a really
natural peanut butter withminimal ingredients and you get
(05:46):
a high quality jelly without alot of extra sugars and
preservatives and you get arefined and high quality bread,
yeah, it can be a reallynutritious snack pre or post
workout, mostly because of themacros.
It has good fats it has goodcarbs, and it mixes every day
and protein, of course, in orderto make it a really nutritious
(06:08):
snack.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Well, if it's good enough for those guys, good
enough for me.
And Kyle Stebe, right?
Oh my God.
Kyle says he doesn't even needto work out, he's an MMA guy so
Keep saying that I'm like.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I'm not an MMA guy, I'm the worst Jiu-Jitsu guy in
my gym.
I'm the worst purple belt inthe United States right now.
I'm the glass like.
I'm the glass Joe of thecompetitive circuit.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Well, I'm glad you said that, because guess what we
have the man on right now.
What would you tell Kyle?
First of all, I would say thisattitude he's got is probably
needs to go right.
This defeatist attitude isnihilistic outlook, like he
keeps going to the gym and hekeeps saying he's the worst.
He has to be making someprogress over here Alan.
Worst purple belt Worst purplebelt.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
yeah, there's a big difference between a white belt
and a purple belt.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
There is a big difference and I have the utmost
respect for anyone that justgoes to the gym, but certainly
anyone under that MMA orgrappling or fighting or contact
sport or Jiu-Jitsu or boxing ormixed martial arts.
Just the other day on a flighthome I watched that four-part
docuseries about Conor McGregorand just have the utmost respect
(07:14):
for and I say this with a hugesmile and a wink anyone crazy
enough to do those types ofsports and activities.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Absolutely has my respect.
I got a guy from our gym that'sin the UFC now and he moved to
Vegas.
When he moved to Vegas, that'swhere he does all.
That's where he does all.
He lives there now for all histraining.
He was getting something at aconvenience store and his ears
are all shriveled up.
They look like buttholes on theside of his head.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh yeah, most of those guys have the cauliflower
ears from years of the wrestlingand the grappling and the oh my
goodness, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So he was in a convenience store and a
firefighter in his uniform cameup to him.
He goes are you, will you fight?
He said yeah, I just signedwith the UFC.
He goes man, you guys are nuts.
Chris looked at me and said yourun into burning buildings for
a living, I just get punched inthe face.
They're not the same.
That's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah.
What are these books back here?
You got the.
Raise your Game, sustain yourGame.
Are these things that you wrotehere?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Those are yeah.
So Raise your Game was my firstbook.
The subtitle to that is HighPerformance Secrets from the
Best of the Best, and it'sreally where I took a collection
of all of the biggest lessons Ilearned from Basketball's Best
and share folks how to applythose to their business and
their lives, and that came outin 2019.
And then, just over a year ago,I came out with the follow-up,
which is Sustain your Game HighPerformance Keys to Manage
(08:35):
Stress, Avoid Stagnation andBeat Burnout, which is kind of a
built on the first book,although they're completely
separate works and could be readin any order.
But it's been my experiencethat once you've kind of gotten
to a groove of what you need todo to perform at your best, the
main things that will undermineyour performance for long
periods of time are stress,stagnation and burnout.
(08:57):
So that was really the focalpoint of the second book.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
That's hilarious because there's a school of
thought that says you don'tburnout, you just plateau and
then level up.
You got to break through theburnout.
I don't know that I've evertrained hard enough to truly
burnout to see if that'sactually true or not.
But I was reading about thatand I was like I don't know,
because I know that I get burnedout at work.
But I guess you get a newchallenge and it changes it and
(09:21):
then you get a little bit moreexcited.
Where do you find that theburnout occurs?
Is it because they're in weekseven of a 16 week preseason and
they're preseason camp beforethey get to report the teams?
Or you got guys that are in, Idon't know.
They've got a project that'sgot to be finished at the end of
the quarter, but they're a weeksix and they've been just
(09:42):
burning both ends of the candle.
But where do you find that theburnout occurs?
And that is.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Well, on a macro level, burnout is when your
passion and your purpose fordoing something no longer aligns
with the sacrifices that you'remaking, the commitment that
you're making, the hours thatyou're putting in, the effort
that you're putting in.
When those two things start tosplinter in different directions
, that's when you're at risk ofburnout.
That's kind of on a macro level.
(10:06):
On a micro level, yeah, if wedon't take care of ourselves and
we do try to burn the candle atboth ends and we lack sleep and
we stop working out and wedon't eat healthy food and we
don't nourish our minds as well,we can literally
physiologically start to burnoutand just not have the requisite
energy or enthusiasm oroptimism to do something that we
(10:27):
once did at a very high level.
We start to see that waning.
So we have to constantlyrecalibrate.
If we're finding ourselvesfeeling the initial onsets of
burnout, we need to figure outwhat's the impetus to that.
Is it no longer an alignmentbetween what it is that we want
to get out of this and thesacrifice that we're making?
If you start to lose the lovefor Jiu Jitsu but you keep going
(10:52):
every single night for a coupleof hours, you will be at risk
for burnout.
To me, the reason you haven'texperienced that yet is because
you still have a tremendousamount of passion and purpose in
what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I think at the macro level for entrepreneurs, because
they get so consumed and theyget so into the grind that they
don't know about it that they'vehit burnout until the wife goes
.
We're getting divorced.
I'm leaving, see you.
Oh yeah, you need that externalknock on the door saying, hey,
it's time to refocus on whatwe're doing here.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yes, absolutely.
I mean that word grind is oftenused on the entrepreneurial
journey.
The only way that type ofcommitment and those type of
hours and that type of energy issustainable is if you
absolutely love what you'redoing and you believe in what
you're doing and that why andthat purpose continues to fuel
you and drive you.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I love it.
Well, I think also, justdifferent people need to be
motivated in different ways.
You've got the folks thatlisten to this podcast.
A lot of them got just regularold nine to five jobs.
Maybe they like the job, maybeit's what they went to school
for, maybe it's their second orthird attempt at a career, but
it just it runs the gamut.
Right, there's no perfect.
(12:04):
There's no perfect profile forwho wants to do a side hustle
and I would venture to guess alot of the people you're talking
to you go into these bigorganizations.
I mean, for 15 years it lookslike you were working with these
NBA players Kevin Durampy, andone of them probably top 5% of
all NBA players that have everlived and just an absolute beast
(12:27):
.
But he was essentially builtand made for playing in the NBA,
but he wasn't necessarily madefor the pressures that come
along with that.
Standing at the free throw line, game on the line and you could
say that about almost any sport.
Right, you're helping themphysically get there, but I'm
(12:49):
guessing there's a lot you'velearned from these people that
are playing at the highest levelunder some of the most intense
pressure ever.
How do you take some of thatstuff.
What are some of the mainthings you learn from these
types of folks and how you applythat to your coaching?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Well, there's three.
I mean there'd be a much longerlist, but to be succinct and
respectful of everyone's time,there's three that we can focus
on.
And these are traits of thehighest performers that I've
ever been around and observed inbasketball or business or
anything in between.
And those that are willing toadopt these kind of frameworks
and operating systems have thepotential to perform at a high
(13:28):
level.
The first is the best never getbored with the basics.
The best of the best in anycraft have a respect and
appreciation for thefundamentals.
As Kyle was just mentioning, inJiu-Jitsu he's currently a
purple belt.
Well, you start as a white beltand as you start to improve and
work towards mastery of certainfundamentals in Jiu-Jitsu, then
(13:51):
you're rewarded by moving up alevel to the next belt.
But it's sequential, it'sprogressive.
That's why there is adifference between a white belt
and a purple belt.
Purple belt has a strongergrasp of the fundamentals than a
white belt.
So high performers reallyappreciate and respect those
fundamentals.
In the game of basketball, thefundamentals are shooting and
(14:13):
passing and rebounding anddefending and handling the ball.
If you want to be an elitelevel basketball player, you
have to do those things at avery high level.
Well, it's the same thing as anentrepreneur.
It's the same thing as a salesprofessional and executive.
You've got to work towardsmastery of the core fundamentals
.
The second thing that highperformers do well is they blend
confidence with humility.
(14:35):
They've earned the right to beconfident because they've put in
the work during the unseenhours to get the repetitions to
work on the fundamentals.
So they've earned the right tobe confident.
But they stay humble.
And staying humble is whatkeeps you open to feedback.
It keeps you open to beingcoached by those that have more
experience and expertise thanyou do.
(14:56):
Being humble is what allows youto say that, no matter how good
you get, you can still getbetter.
It's not about playing acomparison game and being better
than anyone else.
Humility is what says no matterhow good I get, I can continue
to get better.
And then the third area thathigh performers do really really
well is they embrace theprocess.
(15:16):
They have very distinct goalsand North stars that they're
trying to achieve, but they puttheir focus on the actual
process, the day-to-daybehaviors and habits and micro
skills and decisions that willincrease the chance that they'll
actually reach that goal.
And the best analogy I canthink of is if you were ever
tasked with building a brickwall.
(15:37):
Well, the juice isn't in thewall, the juice is in each
individual brick.
See, if you can lay eachindividual brick with care and
precision and put it exactlywhere it needs to go, the wall
will just take care of itself,so you don't have to focus on
the wall.
You need to focus on the bricks, and that's what embracing the
process is about.
And, like I said, whether inbasketball, business,
(16:00):
entrepreneurship or jiu-jitsu,those that are willing to focus
on the fundamentals, those thatcan blend confidence with
humility and those that embracethe process, that do those three
things, they give themselvesthe foundation to be really,
really successful.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah and jiu-jitsu.
The greatest key competitor ofall time is Hadra Gracie.
And if you ever watch one ofHadra Gracie's matches, they're
kind of like I don't know.
It's kind of like listening tothe Beatles sing and play music.
You're like I can do that.
They make it so effortless andmake it seem so easy.
And it's not.
It doesn't seem like it'sanything crazy.
(16:34):
When you watch them do it.
It's because the fundamentalsare just so.
I mean he taps the guys at thehighest level with like the most
basic choke you learn in thefirst three months of doing
jiu-jitsu and it's just a basicgets the mountain cross collar
Like that's his, that's hisbread and butter and nobody can
stop it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You know it's kind of oh no, it reminds me of that
and I'm probably going tobutcher it a little bit.
But that famous Bruce Lee quoteabout you know, I don't fear
the man that can do 10,000different kicks, I fear the man
that's done one kick 10,000times.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Because that person's going to have a level of
mastery over that one specificmove.
And yeah, you're so right onthat, and it's.
Isn't it cool to see someonecan ascend to the top of their
craft by only doing that ahandful of basic fundamentals,
but they do them so well.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, and what about you know, Malcolm Gladwell in
his book Outliers, where hetalks about 10,000 hours right,
I believe that's an outliers,right.
And he talks about the 10,000hours.
He talks about Michael Jordan,he talks about Wayne Gretzky, he
talks about these guys.
I mean, is that what you see inthe NBA too?
I mean, is that, is that prettyaccurate?
It is.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
But one thing that's gotten twisted with that is that
folks need to understand thatit's 10,000 hours of deliberate,
purposeful practice.
Some of the components ofdeliberate, purposeful practice
you have a set of objective inmind.
You have real-time feedback tohelp you course correct.
One of the reasons that thatconcept has gotten bastardized
(18:02):
over time is people think it'sliterally just logging the hours
.
Experts of youth basketballplayers make the mistake of
thinking well, if I can get myson to play basketball for
10,000 hours between the age ofeight and 18, then he'll be an
elite level player.
That's literally just logginghours.
That's not the same thing asworking on very specific
(18:24):
fundamentals under the tutelageof competent coaching to make
sure that you're gettingfeedback after each and every
repetition, that you've got anobjective set for a very
specific practice.
There's a difference between agolfer going out and going to
the putting green and trying tomake a 20-foot putt a hundred
times and us just going andplaying putt-putt for a few
(18:46):
hours.
Those two things are notcreated equal.
One is very deliberate andintentional and purposeful and
one is you're just casuallygoing through the motions.
Both fall under the umbrella ofplaying golf, but one of them
is adding to your 10,000 hoursand the other not so much.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
What is it Lombardi who said?
It's not practice doesn't makeperfect perfect, practice makes
perfect, oh.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
I think that's all right.
Was that Lombardi?
It might have been.
I mean, that sounds likeLombardi.
No, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
And I've also heard that not even practice makes
perfect, but practice makespermanent.
So whatever it is that you doover and over is going to become
permanent, which is why thedeliberate practice is so
important.
As a basketball player, if yougo out and shoot with really bad
form over and over and over,you'll get good at bad shooting.
Like you're getting in therepetitions, but you're actually
(19:37):
reinforcing and repeatingsomething incorrectly, so you're
kind of working againstyourself.
So just going to the court andjacking up shots casually is not
the same as making sure you'reusing perfect technique and form
every single time that youshoot.
So those are the big separators.
But yeah, malcolm Gladwell'sassertion that putting in 10,000
(19:59):
hours is the road to mastery iscorrect.
I just think we've lost sightof what needs those 10,000 hours
need to consist of.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
That totally makes sense.
I mean it was.
It was wild.
Yesterday we had Lionel Messiin town to play FC Cincinnati
you know he's with Inter Miaminow and all the athletes were
down there.
I mean the Reds weren't becausethe Reds were in a doubleheader
in Los Angeles against theAngels.
They broke Tony's arm.
Oh yeah, no, tony's hurt andwhat's his name is going back on
(20:30):
the on the DL too, there arethe center fielder that you see.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But all the Bengals were down there, you know, and I
don't think they were just downthere because you know, fc
Cincinnati said, hey, come andshow up to the FC game.
They wanted to see this guy asmuch as anybody else wanted to
see this guy.
I mean, they're theirprofessional athletes, been to
the Super Bowl, went to the FCChampionship last year and
they're probably still in all ofsomething that this guy, who's
(20:57):
the I mean Tom Brady ofprofessional soccer.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
He's great, and Tom Brady.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Oh, he's better.
Yeah, exactly, I mean he's.
He's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah, Messi is a once in a generation athlete, and
one of the things that I'vealways respected about any high
performers that you just alludedto is they love being around,
studying and learning from otherhigh performers, even people
that aren't in their directvocation, you know.
I mean musicians study athletesand athletes study actors and,
like anyone that performs theircraft at a high level, there's
(21:29):
something for all of us to learnfrom.
So even if you don't watchsoccer, like soccer or know much
about soccer, every personlistening to this show right now
can learn something and takesomething away from Lionel Messi
.
Just his approach.
I mean he does the three thingsI just mentioned before to an,
you know, an unparalleled level.
I mean talk about someone thathas mastered the fundamentals of
(21:50):
the game of soccer.
I mean it's really incredibleand he's probably the most
confident player on the field atany given moment because he
knows he's earned the right tobe that confident.
But he still has coaches, hestill has trainers, he still
listens to competent feedbacknot not stuff that's thrown
around on social media but if hehas a coach that he trusts and
(22:11):
believes in and says, hey,here's something that can make
this part of your game a littlebit better.
He absolutely is open to that.
So you know, I'm sure if youinterviewed him on your show and
I wouldn't doubt it if you'dprefer to have him over me.
But if you interviewed him,there's no way that he would say
I'm as good as I'm ever goingto get, I'm tapped out, I
reached the top, I'm done.
(22:31):
He'd say oh yeah, I still haveroom to improve, I'm still going
to get better, but the LionelMessi next season is going to be
even better than the LionelMessi this season.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
So he blends all of those things broodulate, which
makes sense that you were, andwhat I commend you on is the
fact that you were able to takesomething that you loved.
You played the game.
You played it at a high level.
You were able to turn that intointeractions with some of the
(23:01):
top performers in the world atthe sport.
In the history of the world atthe sport, I'd argue Steph Curry
is probably the best threepoint shooter in the history of
basketball.
I mean, pete Marovitch, Iprobably have something to say
about that too.
But but, but there's, there'ssome really really good guys out
there that you were able tointeract with, just leveraging
(23:23):
your love for the game and thentaking that distilling down into
a program, something that youcould teach people and you just
said it, these guys are going toidolize people in another thing
.
I mean, it carries over intoother, into other ways that you
(23:46):
may not directly see, but theydo, as long as you have those
principles, like you mentioned,those three principles that you
can carry over into somethinglike business and I know you've
probably had this come up, butin any of these things, when
you're talking about all, I metthese guys I used to work with
so, and so I used to work withso and so.
(24:07):
Do you ever have guys like Kylecome up where he's like oh, I'm
just a purple belt and I suckand I'll never be one of these
guys?
Do you get that attitude when?
You get that attitude when,when you run into just regular
folks that you go and speak toat these businesses?
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, of course all the time, and I think that's
what makes us human and thatwe're normal.
And you know, one of the thingsto remember is you have to put
a lot of these things intocontext.
I appreciate Kyle's humilityand saying hey, I'm just a
purple belt and I'm one of thelower guys at my gym, but you
have to keep that in perspectiveto everything else around you.
(24:45):
I mean, first of all, whatpercentage of the human
population even has the courageto try something like jujitsu or
Miss Martial Arts?
It's a small subset, you know.
And then, of that, whatpercentage are willing to go to
the gym every single day andgrapple with guys that are more
experienced and have moreexpertise?
I mean, you know and I say thiswith all the respect in the
(25:07):
world like, go to the gym everyday to get a beatdown?
There's not many people thatwould do that.
So, while Kyle may feel likehe's at the lower end of the
spectrum, he's at the lower endof the spectrum of the upper 1%
of the population.
You know, I can speak firsthand.
A couple of years ago I gave anattempt at my first
ultramarathon and I finished inthe lowest 10% of everyone
(25:32):
running and I felt kind ofdejected.
I felt, you know, discouraged,until a friend of mine said the
same thing to me.
He said, of everyone in theworld, how many people sign up
for an ultramarathon?
And of those that do you know?
If you finish in that bottompercentile, you're in the bottom
part of the upper 1%.
If you take a step back, you'restill doing okay and that's, I
(25:55):
think, important from aperspective standpoint.
I mean, you could pick the 15thman on the worst team in the
NBA, whoever will finish withthe worst record this year, and
you could position that assomething negative.
Or you could say this personstill has a job that only 450
people in the entire world has.
(26:17):
If you are on an NBA roster,you are in the upper 0.01% of
anyone that has ever dribbled abasketball.
So while you're the 15th man,maybe the lowest paid, maybe
don't play very much on a teamthat doesn't win very much, you
are still in the upper 0.01% ofpeople that have played the game
.
So it's all about how we chooseto frame it and how we choose
(26:39):
to look at it.
But when you look at the LionelMessi's, the Tom Brady's, you
know, the Steph Curry's, gracie,who he mentioned earlier.
I mean, these people are oncein a generation icons and they
should not be the referencepoint to which the rest of us
play comparison.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, the last race that I ever did was at 10K in
Charleston.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And I woke up the next morning this was like 2012,
.
Because I think running stupidand I just joking, I need to do
it.
And I looked at the paper and Iwas looking at all the times.
When I found my name I was like, oh okay, did it in 54 minutes
or whatever it was.
I felt pretty good about it.
And I got beat by a 12 year oldby 10 minutes.
(27:22):
Oh no, I was like Holy shit.
But then I remembered that Idrank all night Friday night
before the race.
Maybe he did too.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's Cincinnati.
Oh no, that was.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
My stomach was this bridge goes 1.2 miles straight
up, so the ship can gounderneath the.
Cooper River.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Bridge in Charleston.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
It's huge and I had to do that that stomach from the
beer right about the middle ofthe bridge.
So the last part of that racewas just like me trying to run
as fast as I could to find aport of lead.
It was horrible.
Sorry, I remember your podcast.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, no, that's funny.
Well, you know what we hadHarvey Lewis on.
I don't know if you know HarveyLewis, but he's an ultra
marathoner.
He won Badwater out in DeathValley.
Yeah he's here in Cincinnatiand he actually teaches history
at my high school.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, the performing art school.
It was hilarious.
He was talking about DavidGoggins speaking another one.
It's super focused and hereferences him just as David,
like they're really good friendsand Harvey's like the most
soft-spoken person you've evermet in your life.
But you can see in his eyesthat he can go to dark places.
Wayne needs to like he was gotthat.
He's got that.
A college wrestler look likeI've seen some shit I can get.
(28:31):
I can get dark if I need to getdark.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Well, yeah, the main thread that I pull from this is
and I think we're all kind ofalluding to it is we just have
to be very careful of Playingthe comparison game, because
it's all about reference and anyone of us, in any area of our
life, can easily Find someonethat's doing it much better than
we are, and if we're constantlyplaying that comparison game,
(28:56):
if we're not careful, it canleave us feeling you know less
than feeling like we don'tdeserve To feel good about
ourselves.
So you know Someone that canyou know, harvey, or whether
it's David Goggins.
I mean, these guys areunbelievable at what they do and
we should Look to theirteachings and their strategies
and their approaches and theirportions of those things we can
(29:17):
emulate.
But at the end of the day and Imean this pun very
intentionally we're all runningour own race and it very rarely
serves us to play the comparisongame in any area, because we're
gonna feel less than, andthat's to me, one of the things
that I've really tried to shiftin my life is I personally am
not worried about being the bestat anything.
(29:39):
I'm worrying about being mybest.
That's all I have control over,and I want to be my best in
every area of my life and I'll.
I'll put my work ethic and mycommitment up against anyone's.
But it's not because I'm tryingto outdo someone or outshine
someone.
I just want to be the best thatI'm capable of, and, you know,
other people feel motivated tobe the best and there's nothing
(30:01):
wrong with that.
I just think what's mostimportant is each of us finds
the perspective in the operatingsystem that works best for us,
and that, that, I think, is, youknow, for anyone listening,
especially in the entrepreneurspace, is really important.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's the danger of social media.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Right I was just gonna bring up the social media
stuff like this.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
That's, that's the danger of, because, regardless
of age, I know that teenagersget the the main brunt of the
news coverage because of, youknow, unfortunately, teen
suicides and such.
But there are a lot of peoplethat Overstretch their lives and
over leverage their lives forthe sake of getting likes and
looking like they're keeping upwith all their competition,
whether the competition is theguy with a better yard or
(30:45):
whether it's business owners inthe same industry.
There's, I mean, people theyjust can't wait to put every win
on there, or Some of thosepeople put their other dirty
laundry on there too.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
No, those guys are just well what scares me the
most is people having to feellike they have to keep up with
everybody, and there's a lot ofpeople out there that are just
full of it, like they're not.
I mean, look at all thesesocial media influencers and
stuff, all I mean.
How many, how many multimillionaires are are there out
there that are 22 years old, Imean, but they seem to be all
over YouTube.
They're all over Instagram.
(31:17):
It's like oh, I became amillionaire at you know 17.
Oh, did you?
Because there's 800 otherpeople on YouTube saying the
same thing.
And when you look at the stats,there's just not that many
people out there that areactually hit that, you know, hit
that goal in their life.
That young and people, bywatching these things and not
seeing the losing stories, right, they only see the winning
(31:40):
stories and they sometimes theysee Hyperbolic, which I'd say
most of them are stories.
You know, they comparethemselves to that, I mean, and
that's that's exactly whatyou're talking about, alan.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah, well, and sadly , that is one of the major
downsides to social media isit's kind of designed To make us
play the comparison game.
That's why we have to be veryguarded and very protective of
that.
And you know, as you just said,you know what if you did have a
side hustle that wasinternet-based and you made a
couple hundred thousand dollarsa year, well, if you're
(32:12):
comparing yourself to someonethat's making a million dollars
a year, that might make you feela little discouraged and
dismissed, but that's somethingto be incredibly proud of.
And and I was just throwingthat out there is a reference.
In my opinion, if you have aside hustle that you enjoy, that
you get passion from that, thatyou love whatever it is that
you're doing, then don't worryso much about the outcome.
(32:34):
If you love the process and youlove the work and you love what
you're doing, you've alreadywon.
Now, if that also turns intosomething that's profitable,
something that opens up doorsand opportunities, that's just
an added bonus.
But the real key is learning tolove the work.
See the folks that only loveoutcomes.
Well, that's gonna be a lot ofebbing and flowing, you know,
(32:56):
whereas you can be much moreconsistent if you learn to love
the work.
But that's why we just have tobe careful about playing that
comparison game, because nomatter how good you get at
something, someone out there isa little bit better, and that's
okay.
Just continue to run your raceand focus on the things that you
have control over.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So do?
You had to have thatconversation with chris paul
when you're talking about kairierving.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Yeah, I mean you know all of these guys.
I mean, think about it.
Even, let's even use labran asan example.
I mean you're talking about,once again, a generational type
talent, you know, and peoplekeep having that the goat debate
.
And here labran is one of thebest players to ever play the
game and he can't even escape.
Well, you're not as good asmichael jordan, you know.
(33:40):
I mean it.
Just the comparison game isjust incredible and even with
messy I mean messy is I meanwe're seeing what he's doing in
real time but there's stillpeople that will say, you know,
rinaldo's better, neymar'sbetter, pele was better 30 years
ago.
You're never going to pleaseeveryone all of the time and
there's no way you'll get aconsensus on anyone being the
(34:04):
goat in anything.
I mean even even look at theworld's richest man.
It depends on the day it does.
The slack market is doing,whether or not you know Elon
Musk or Jeff Bezos or somebodyelse.
It's just, it's pretty insane.
So for me, I think we can andshould use social media as a way
(34:25):
to share, as a way to engageand meet people, as a way to
learn.
We just have to be very carefulof the downside, of using it as
a comparison tool.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Well, there's a couple of things that I think
make your website elite.
I think your logo is awesome.
Whoever did that logo, youshould, you should congratulate
them.
As somebody who does logos,that logo is freaking sweet, I
love.
I love the way it was puttogether and then also the way
you set up your website.
Under the speaking section, youhave this raise your game,
(34:54):
raise their game, raise our game, raise your sales, sustain your
game.
I love the way you kind of setthat up.
Instead of saying hey for youknow, for business owners, for
whatever you, you, you, you putit in context of what, what
you're good at, which is youknow, what you understand, which
is basketball, and the wayyou're going to present things,
(35:15):
and I really, really like that.
Explain how that's broken outand and who you're targeting.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Sure.
So you know, for my messageit's pretty industry agnostic.
I mean I can speak in almostany industry or any vertical,
because I'm not talking aboutthe specifics or the nuances of
that industry.
I'm talking about generalprinciples, performance and
leadership and communication andculture principles.
So you know, raise, your gameis designed for a group that
(35:43):
wants me to focus on eachindividual team members,
individual improvement.
You know, raise their game ishow do we improve as leaders?
You know, how can I makesomeone more impactful and
influential so that they canlead to a higher degree?
Raise, our game is aboutteamwork and collaboration and
how can we improve our cultureas a group?
Raise your sales is is fairlyself-explanatory.
(36:06):
That's for anyone that'sselling any product or service
and wants to get better at that.
And then sustain your game ismore about the stress and
stagnation and burnout that wetalked about before.
So when a group is deciding tobring me in to speak, they need
to decide who is the intendedaudience and what are they
trying to get out of this, andthen that helps determine which
of those tracks makes most sense.
(36:26):
And most groups that bring mein want somewhat of a collection
or a curation of multiple.
You know they want each memberof the team to improve their
individual performance, but thenthey also want everybody to be
able to play together nicely inthe sandbox so that they've got
really good teamwork.
So many times I'm customizing aprogram that blends many of
(36:47):
those together.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Oh, yeah, how many speaking engagements you have a
year.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
So the goal for me is to do 60 a year you know if I
can average just around one aweek.
That tends to work out reallywell for me.
I'm a very amicably divorcedfather of three, so I've got
13-year-old twin sons and11-year-old daughter that live
with my ex-wife about 15 minutesaway, so that 60 speaking
engagements a year keeps me homeenough to be a present father
(37:14):
when I have my children, butthen it allows me to kind of
travel and do what it is that Ilove to do when I don't.
And you know, plus or minusfive on either end of that is
probably somewhat doable.
But I've got friends in thespeaking industry that do 120
gigs a year, wow, and I justknow that would be way too much
for me to manage and balance theother areas of my life that are
(37:35):
very important.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
You see any potential in the court with those kids.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
You know they're decent players.
I mean it's all three of themplay youth hoops and you know
it's been really interestingfrom a parenting perspective.
I would say that all three ofmy children really like
basketball, but I wouldn't saythat any of them absolutely love
basketball.
I wouldn't say that any of themare obsessed with basketball,
and that's okay.
(38:00):
You know, as a parent I justwant them to do something that
they enjoy.
Now all three have expressed tome that they have the goal of
playing college basketball and Itold them that is a wonderful
goal.
But I've also let them knowthat if that is your goal, at
some point you're going to needto turn that switch on so that
you love basketball.
You know, I mean I obsessedthis kind of a dangerous word,
(38:22):
but you know you don't want aday to go by that you don't do
something to work on your game,because that's what's going to
be required for you to earn anopportunity to play college
basketball.
You know I say veryrespectfully my kids will have
very normal athleticism.
They'll have normal size.
I mean I'm six one, so they'll.
They'll be fortunate if they'reanywhere close to six feet.
(38:42):
But it's not like I've gotthree children that are, all you
know, six foot 11, 280 pounds,with no body fat, and can jump
out of the gym Like.
If they're going to playcollege basketball it's going to
be because they're very skilled, they're in great condition,
they're great leaders and greatteammates.
So they need to work on thosethings to earn that opportunity,
(39:03):
and I remind them of that daily.
But at the end of the day, I'mokay with them really liking
basketball and that that's justone pillar of them having well
rounded lives and and I have noproblem with that whatsoever-
God, I wish I would have beenlike that.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
I'm telling you I would.
I don't do anything like thatwith Charlotte, with the
volleyball, and she absolutelyloves it and wants to hit all
the time.
She's not listening to this.
I can say this she doesn'tquite have the athletic.
She'll have the height to be acollege setter, but she doesn't
quite have the athleticism.
I think that it's going to berequired of her to play college
(39:39):
like college ball ball at thelevel that she would like to
play at.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
But Cayman and Elijah , I have boys that are not mind
genetically and this is why Ican say this because Kyle's kind
of built like a, like aNeanderthal, like you see, the
like, the easy he's kind of gotthat build not, not, I wouldn't
say the volleyball build.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
No, but my, but one of my, my sons are.
They were division one athletes.
I mean, I grew up with divisionone, with division one athletes
.
I've played against divisionone athletes.
I've watched these guys playsoccer.
They were late bloomers thatkilled their recruiting, but
they were their division one,like one, six, five, I don't
know when he was playing socceris 195.
(40:15):
He played wing, which is reallyweird for being that tall to be
able to play out wing at likehigh national level.
And the other one could playeverywhere.
They just didn't.
They didn't love it, they likedit, that's what he's talking
about.
Exactly.
But I wasn't okay with thatbecause I grew up like as I was
a grinder, like I had to workout.
I had to, I was, I wasn't anathlete.
(40:36):
I had to make myself faster, Ihad to make myself jump higher.
I did.
Pete Rose hustler.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I am not Pete Rose.
Yeah, but it would be.
Rose wasn't athletically gifted, but he hustled.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, charlie hustle, he was athletically gifted
enough to play in a major leaguebaseball for 23 years, so let's
not pretend he was just a small.
He did play football too.
Yeah, yeah, western Hills.
Yeah, but I, I took thatmentality.
I just couldn't wrap my brainaround the fact that they
weren't going up to the soccerfield, which was like is a turf
field that the high schoolplayed at.
(41:05):
That's another thing I wasasking him about three quarter
mile walk from the house andthey would only go up.
Their friends were going up andI it.
I wish I would have been likeokay with just them enjoying
what they were doing, but I soyou?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
you didn't have the talent, but wanted it.
They had the talent.
You couldn't understand whythey didn't want it.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
And this is the kids, that kids that they grew up
with are all like you know, onekid played in two of the NCAA
finals last two years with IU.
Another one's just was thefirst kid to sign with FC
Cincinnati on a homegrowncontract.
So they're playing with kidsthat were like legit.
I was just like oh my now what?
Elijah's?
Just like stabbed me in thestomach the other day.
(41:46):
He goes.
Do you see?
Kimi started for FC Cincinnati.
I said yeah, he goes.
I should have worked harder.
I said you haven't think.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Alan talk about this situation that we're discussing
right now.
Do you know anybody that's inthis?
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Well, for me what's most important as a parent and
is I want my kids to understandthat this is their journey and I
give them the autonomy to maketheir decisions, and I believe
my role as a parent is to helpguide them and encourage them
and support them.
So I make sure that my childrenknow what it's going to take
for them to play collegebasketball.
(42:22):
But it's up to them whether ornot they choose to do it.
And I make sure my kids knowlook, I'm going to love you
unconditionally, no matter whatyou choose, but you're the one
that's going to have to livewith your choices, like you're
the one that's going to face theconsequences.
If you choose to only likebasketball for the next several
years and play when it'sconvenient and have fun with
your friends, there is nothingwrong with that, but you most
(42:45):
likely will not be good enoughto play college basketball.
If that's the route you take,and if you're OK with that
consequence, if you're OK withyour career ending when high
school is over, then I'm totallyOK with it.
Well, I just don't want my kidsto grow up and then start
blaming, complaining or makingexcuses why they weren't able to
achieve something.
I want them to make sure thatthey know you get to make your
(43:07):
own decisions, but you are notfree from the consequences of
those decisions, and reallythat's my chief role as their
parent is to continually remindthem of that.
So I don't, this is just myapproach.
I'm certainly not saying thisis the way everyone else should
do it, but I don't.
I don't force them to work out.
I don't guilt and shame them ifthey don't work out.
All I do is politely remindthem that if you want to be a
(43:29):
college player, this is whatcollege level players do every
single day, and it's up to youto want to do it.
And sometimes they lean intothat and look like they're
getting ready to flip the switch, and then other times they
they're fine with it.
So I don't try to livevicariously through them.
I want them to make thosedecisions, but I can certainly
appreciate with what Kyle saying.
(43:50):
It is hard for me sometimes tonot want to step on the gas and
not say, look, you have any ideahow good you could be if you
would do these things, butthat's that.
That's more of an issue.
That's on my side of the fencethan on theirs.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yeah, like not only you better look in the mean and
you speak better than me.
You're a better father than me.
I think I hate you.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Well, he does this professionally.
Kyle, you do sales like this islike his thing.
You know, and I know you alwayscatch yourself like tying in
some of the principles thatyou've learned and some of the
stuff you wrote in your book,with your parenting too, and do
you ever catch yourself like, oh, I shouldn't be, maybe I
shouldn't tie the two together.
Or you like blessed that youknow this stuff and you've been
(44:36):
around these, these high levelathletes, and you could share
this stuff with your kids.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Well, it's a little bit of both.
I mean, my overall parentingphilosophy is I'm very hands off
, as I just described.
I don't make or force my kidsto do anything.
I let them know what theconsequences are of not doing it
.
I encourage them and I supportthem, but ultimately it's up to
them.
Like I don't make my kids dohomework.
If you don't want to dohomework, don't do it.
(45:01):
And if you fail out of school,see what kind of life you live
in the future.
Like it's, it's on you.
So I don't make my kids eatbreakfast.
You don't want to eat breakfast, don't eat breakfast.
But three hours later, whenyou're hungry and your energy is
plummeting and you're in a badmood and you can't focus, you'll
remember why and that's becauseyou chose not to eat breakfast.
So I, that's just my overallparenting philosophy.
(45:22):
But what's funny is my kidshave come with me on some of my
speaking engagements.
They've heard my talk moretimes than they can count.
So I do have the tendency as adad to occasionally go into
motivation or speak or speak ormode, and they'll hear me say
something that verbatim comesout of one of my keynotes.
And now they're at the agewhere I get kind of the friendly
(45:42):
eye roll where it's like allright, dad, we get it.
So yeah.
But I am trying to balance thetwo because I do believe these
things are all intertwined.
I mean, I think the principlesthat make an elite level
basketball player have the highutility of being the same
principles that make someone anelite level entrepreneur or
sales professional and they'rethe same principles that make
someone a good parent.
(46:03):
You know, all of these things,when we talk in the general
principle sense, have highutility and are very versatile,
I believe it, yeah, and I lovethat you can.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
You can use those skills and I guess you know, if
the kids ever get too bad, use afew neighborhoods in DC.
You can drive them around to itright and show them like what
their future could look like.
I mean, I didn't grow up in thebest If you have a bull proof
car.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, you're doing a good G wagon.
I didn't grow up in the best ofneighborhoods.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
It actually might be one of the well, I'd say it's
top three worst in Cincinnati,probably, and Cincinnati's not
got the lowest crime rate in thecountry.
Let's put it that way.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
That's the hilarious part about this whole river
divide too is that you guys haveshitty neighborhoods and
everybody makes fun of Kentucky.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yeah, I don't know why Ours are the worst.
But yeah, so my mom used totell us she did.
She had the same kind ofstrategy.
She was just like don't getarrested because I can't afford
to get you out.
That was as I do it.
Do what you want, you know,make your own decisions.
It ended up working out for us.
But you know, I mean, there's,there's people that are, you
know, helicopter parents andthey just, you know, they want
(47:05):
to know every minute of the daywhere their kid is and know what
they're doing, and sometimesthat could just be a little
overbearing and the kids end uprejecting you and doing exactly
the opposite of what you tellthem to do.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
And on the yeah, on the Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
I'm sorry.
What I was just going to say isthe other part of that.
Parenting philosophy for me isis I try and model the behavior
that I would like to see my kidsemulate, so combining the two.
Like, I don't make my kids eathealthy food, but they see me
order healthy food whenever wego out and over time they might
want to start making that samedecision, like if they choose to
(47:40):
eat something that's ratherunhealthy.
I don't guilt them, I don'tshame them, I don't criticize
them.
I just let them know, you know,if you put that type of fuel in
your body consistently, hereare the consequences of doing
that, and just make sure theyhave all of the information.
Now, with that being said, ofme being hands off, it's still
my job, because of their currentages, to put up some guardrails
(48:02):
.
you know, put up the bumperswhen we're playing bowling.
So you know, my sons will starteighth grade next week, my
daughter will start sixth gradenext week, so they'll all three
be at middle, in middle school,and I need to have a talk with
them about sex, about drugs,about bullying.
You know about a lot of thesedifferent things because that's
my job, as I see it as a parent.
You know.
(48:23):
So when I say that I'm handsoff, this doesn't mean that my
kids are out.
You know smoking cigarettes andgetting tattoos, like I want to
make sure that I'm puttingparameters up, but I try to get
them to make as many decisionsas possible and even with this
pending conversation about, youknow, sex and drugs and bullying
, I'll address the elephant inthe room and I'll say look, I
(48:44):
want to chat with you guys aboutsome things I already know.
This is going to be awkward foryou and it's going to be
awkward for me.
It's going to be uncomfortablefor you and uncomfortable for me
and we'll all probably squirmin our chair a little bit.
But nevertheless, these arevery important things that you
need to know and that I want toshare with you, and I will be as
honest as I can in all of thosedomains.
It's not going to be a scaretactic where I make it seem like
(49:06):
these things are only awful andlead to catastrophic
consequences and there's noupside Like.
I want to provide my childrenwith an honest approach to these
different things, Modelbehavior that I hope they
emulate and then encourage,support them and hold them
accountable to those things asthey move forward.
But but I will say firsthand,and any parent listening knows
(49:27):
this, Parenting is incrediblychallenging.
You know.
It can be a job that gives yousome of the best joy and
fulfillment, but it can also beincredibly frustrating and
exhausting at the same time.
And I certainly do not have theparenting answers.
I'm just doing the best I can.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, it's like this would transfer over.
I think perfectly, though, this, this whole thought, the way
you parent would be the way thatyou would communicate with
business leaders, because thereis a you know, there are two
types of business leaders thatI've come across so the hands
off.
And then there are themicromanagers, which you were
talking about the helicopterparents, and it's the same exact
concept is like you got to, letyou get, or you can tell them
(50:06):
what to do, or you can be overtheir shoulder making them do it
, but what's the point of that?
They're never going to learnwhat they need to learn so that
they can actually fulfill theirpotential as your employee.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
So well said.
Thank you, I see sometimes.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Sometimes I didn't stutter through that one.
I didn't say um.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
He was cognizant of what was coming out of his mouth
.
Yeah, getting better gettingbetter.
Yeah, there you go.
That's all you can do, that'sright.
Well, alamon, this has beengreat.
Tell people and I'd encourageyou know we got some you know
business folks and everything tolisten here and we got, you
know, plenty of Fortune 500companies and all that floating
around Cincinnati here and itlooks like you've got a couple
of Ohio companies you spoke to,smuckers being one of them uh,
(50:49):
on your list here and I meanwhen I go to your website, I'm
looking at you know the previousclients list.
I mean this is a who's who.
This is great.
I mean you've definitely gotthe chops for this.
Tell people how, uh, how, theycan reach out to you if they're
interested in uh, in having youcome talk to one of their
organizations, or I don't knowif you do any kind of like
personal type of things or whatyou, what, what your whole uh
(51:11):
system is, but it definitelylooks like public speaking.
So tell people how they can geta hold of you.
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Yeah, the best thing to do is just go to
alansteingearcom that's kind ofthe hub for everything and if
you're interested in having mespeak at an event or to your
team or organization, there's acontact tab up in the upper
right corner.
Just click that out and my teamand I will get back to you
really, really quickly.
I'm also very accessible andresponsive on social media.
I'm at alansteingear, onInstagram, twitter which I guess
(51:40):
now we're calling X andLinkedIn.
So if anyone has a question orwants to share something or any
part of this awesomeconversation resonated, just
shoot me a DM on Instagram orLinkedIn.
I'm great about getting backwith folks and if you have an
interest in either of my booksraise your game or sustain your
game you can buy those on Amazonor Audible or wherever you like
(52:01):
to get your books and audiobooks.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
But this was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
I enjoyed learning from you guys, and nothing would
make me happier than coming outto either Kentucky or
Cincinnati to do a speakingengagement.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
I love it and it looks like you got some great
content on your YouTube also.
I just went to that and thesound came off for a second, but
it sounds like, it looks likeyou got some really good content
on your YouTube.
People can check out.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
Yeah, Well, over the last year we've really put a
major focus on the YouTubechannel and we try to populate
that with a new video once aweek.
And yeah, just go to youtubecombackslash alansteingear and
Peru.
Some of those subscribe if youthink it's worth your while and
please share those as liberallyas possible.
That's how we get the good wordout.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
I have one more question before we get to this
have you always been like thishappy, like I mean, this is a
good way, is this something thatyou had to work on?
And you were like, okay, I gotto focus in on this extraverted
and well spoken yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
Well, a couple of things to say there.
One I highly identify withbeing an introvert, meaning I
love speaking, I love being withpeople, but it's also what
drains me.
Like no exaggeration, at theend of this conversation I'll
feel like I just ran five milesand that's.
That's a good thing.
So for me, the way that Iactually recoup my energy is in
(53:15):
solitude.
I need lots of alone time,especially after speaking
engagements or interviews.
As far as the happy part isconcerned, no, I am definitely
not always like this.
I am just as moody as anybodyelse you've ever met.
But as a professional who doesa lot of forward facing stuff
like podcast interviews andkeynote talks, as a professional
(53:37):
I know how to compartmentalizeand show up as my best self
consistently.
So it's actually my goal.
For someone on the other end,like you, two guys have no idea
whether or not I've been havinga good day or I've been having a
bad day because I want to makesure that I show up to do my job
to the best of my ability, andI take a lot of pride in doing
(53:58):
that as a professional.
But I've also learned toembrace that when I'm in a bad
mood or I'm feeling discouragedor I'm, you know, whatever.
I'm not my best self.
I give myself some grace to dothat.
I don't beat myself up, I don'tshame or guilt myself Like I
give myself the space to behuman.
I mean I'm flawed and so forth,just like everybody else.
(54:19):
But I will say and this mighthave been more of your question
I've always been high energy,I've always been enthusiastic,
I've always gotten jacked up tohave an opportunity to meet two
cool guys like you and have anawesome conversation for your
audience.
So, like this is all 100%authentic.
This is how I'm feeling.
But then as soon as we hit endin just a couple of moments,
(54:42):
then you'll see me kind of trailoff and I'll be back to recoup
time.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
Well, alan, you know, what that tells me is is the
fact that you are introverted.
It's generally tough for peoplelike that to get up in front of
a room and speak to people likethat and answer questions
afterwards when you're alreadydrained from an engagement like
that.
The fact that you do that,despite you being an introvert,
(55:06):
tells me that you love what youdo and that you have something
valuable to share with people,and you just have to do it Well,
I appreciate that, man.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
This was a lot of fun .
Both of you guys do a great job.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
Yeah, alan, we really appreciate you being on the
show.
It's a lot of good stuff.
And guys go check out AlanStein Jr.
He's all over the place and ifyou got any needs, you want to.
You want somebody doing.
You want to improve your group,you want to improve your
company, you want to improveyourself.
Reach out.
Thanks, alan, thank you guys.
Thanks for joining us on thisweek's episode of Side Hustle
(55:36):
City.
Well, you've heard from ourguests, now let's hear from you.
Join our community on Facebook,side Hustle City.
It's a group where people shareideas, share their
inspirational stories andmotivate each other to be
successful and turn their sidehustle into their main hustle.
We'll see you there and we'llsee you next week on the show.
Thank you, bye.
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