April 17, 2025 • 35 mins
Tyler Hake shares his journey from business owner to faithful Christian, recounting how a near-death experience with carbon monoxide poisoning and his parents' health struggles led him to discover purpose beyond himself.
• Growing up in a tight-knit entrepreneurial family in Madison, Wisconsin
• Struggling through traditional education before buying a window cleaning business
• Surviving carbon monoxide poisoning that doctors called a "miracle"
• Finding faith after reaching a low point in life when family health crises hit
• Learning to communicate effectively while preparing for marriage
• Recognizing how pride and self-sufficiency prevented spiritual growth
• Experiencing transformation in relationships and attitude through faith
• Understanding that the hardest seasons often become the most significant
Learn more about our amazing sponsor the Van Waarde Foundation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Piet Van Waarde (00:00):
So I have to say that I was super impressed
with you this morning.
I have invited many people tojoin me in the plunge not in the
plunge at the same time but tojoin me doing a plunge and
people last maybe 30 seconds ifthat and they jump right out, so
(00:21):
you're lasting 10 minutes today.
Minutes today was superimpressive I appreciate it.
Tyler Hake (00:29):
It felt good.
Yeah well, a second time.
So I had to get close to your10 there.
Piet Van Waarde (00:36):
Nobody does that.
Tyler Hake (00:37):
It's so crazy, yeah, I appreciate you letting me
join you in the morning.
Yeah, no, it was a lot of fun.
It was good.
Yeah, Wow.
Piet Van Waarde (00:46):
You're, you, you, you.
You were already pretty high inmy estimation of like cool
people, great people, but afterseeing you go 10 minutes in the
plunge, that did it.
Oh, that was like you.
You went up two or threeAwesome.
Tyler Hake (00:58):
Sweet.
No, that was good.
Yeah, um, I definitely want toget more into that.
I mean, it's just, you know,you hear the health benefits.
Piet Van Waarde (01:21):
So, yeah, it was cool.
Good for you, man, thank you.
So thank you for joining us foranother Sidewalk Conversations.
I'm so grateful that you'vedecided to tune in.
I have another really specialguest today, who actually flew
in from Wisconsin to join us,and so I'm grateful for the
opportunity to chat with Tyler,who I'll introduce in a moment,
(01:41):
but before I do, I just want tosay a thank you to our sponsor
today.
So today's sponsor is the VanWard Foundation, and basically
there are a group of people whoanonymously support the work
that we do, and so every month,they send a donation through
Patreon that sponsors ourfoundation, and the foundation
(02:03):
not only supports theseinterviews but the work that I
do with cancer patients,newsletters and a variety of
other projects, and so a bigthank you to those who are part
of that great group of peoplewho support the work.
So thank you.
Now let me introduce to youTyler Haik.
Thank you for joining us, tyler.
(02:24):
Yeah, thanks for having me Happyto be here.
Well, we've been talking a lotabout the goodness of Texas you
inspired to join us here.
Tyler Hake (02:33):
Ah man, maybe every couple months maybe.
Yeah, the heat's a little much,but I'm getting used to it.
Yeah, we're only in March, Iknow, I know.
Yeah, this isn't anythingcompared to what's coming?
Piet Van Waarde (02:42):
yeah, all right .
Well, one of the things I likedoing with these stories is I
like to start at the beginning,where people talk a little bit
about some of the ways they wereraised and some of the key
influences in their life.
And so let's start there withyou Where'd you grow up?
Tell me a little bit about thatand maybe some key experiences
(03:04):
or influences in your life atthat time.
Tyler Hake (03:06):
For sure, yeah, so Madison, Wisconsin, born and
raised Two parents.
Piet Van Waarde (03:10):
Go Badgers, go Badgers yeah.
Tyler Hake (03:14):
Yeah, I have three younger brothers or, I'm sorry,
I'm the oldest of three.
So two younger brothers, yeah,so we all live close together
still, which is great About fiveminutes, 10 minutes apart at
most.
Yeah, childhood growing up wasawesome Very, very close, tight
knit family.
We did a lot of stuff together,a lot of trips, family dinners,
things like that.
So, yeah, I mean just grew upwith a lot of love and care from
(03:37):
parents.
I mean they were my parents,both owned their own businesses
growing up, so they were kind ofaround for everything.
Piet Van Waarde (03:42):
Wow Great.
Tyler Hake (03:43):
Yeah, which was really really great, and so that
kind of allowed us to do thingsoutside of maybe a normal
schedule and, yeah, just kind ofgot a lot of experiences from a
young age doing that, whichwe're very grateful for.
Piet Van Waarde (03:56):
Now, just for those who may not know, I
interviewed your mom a couple ofweeks ago and so that's how we
got connected.
I got to know you and yourfamily through Susanna, who I
met at Hope for Cancer in Mexico, and I really appreciated her.
But then, when I met the restof the family, I'm like this is
(04:17):
like a golden family.
This is a family that's got itsshit together.
Tyler Hake (04:21):
Thank you.
Yeah, seriously, I appreciateit.
We'll take it yeah.
Piet Van Waarde (04:25):
Okay.
So when you think about your,your life and some of the key
influences from growing up, yougraduated high school, spent
some time in college, but thenyou took a little bit of a left
turn.
I guess you'd say so tell me alittle bit about that journey,
that part of your story kind ofwhat prompted you to move in the
(04:47):
direction that you ended upmoving in.
Tyler Hake (04:48):
Sure, yeah, so school growing up, I didn't
quite enjoy high school, middleschool.
All the way through it wasalways kind of like why am I
learning this stuff Am?
I going to use this stuffStruggled a little bit here and
there, but yeah, so when I, as Isaid, my parents own their own
businesses, so that was kind ofalways something in the back of
my mind I looked up to thefreedom and flexibility that
(05:13):
they were kind of able to havewith those businesses.
I had a little bit of experiencein entrepreneurship a network
marketing business at one pointand helped my dad with his
business, so that was kind ofthrough high school.
A network marketing business atone point and helped my dad
with his business, so that waskind of through high school.
But when I when it was time tograduate high school, my parents
never pushed me to college, butit was just kind of the next
step for me at that time it wasyep, just kind of.
(05:34):
I didn't really have an ambitionto go out and do anything that
I was excited about orpassionate about, and so college
was just kind of it.
I got accepted to a college andit was meant to be.
So, um, yeah, I and I don'tknow why I thought that, you
know, not liking high school wasgoing to translate any
differently to college.
Um, and my first year was great.
It was kind of my firstexperience out of the home.
(05:56):
I was about an hour away fromhome, which was just far enough,
but I was still close.
I went back, you know,relatively often and yeah, I
kind of was able to spread mywings a little bit, made a lot
of friends, got into kind of myfirst serious relationship in
college just got to kind of feellike I was experiencing life a
little bit more so Right, right,right.
That school part really did notpick up much.
Piet Van Waarde (06:20):
Nice way to say that.
Yeah, that is the nice way.
Tyler Hake (06:23):
And so I think very quickly through my freshman year
I kind of felt that same way of, like you know, you have to
take the general courses.
There's a lot of things thatI'm taking I feel like I'll
never use.
I was going for a generalbusiness degree, so kind of
following in that business path,but I just, yeah, it was always
(06:45):
kind of a struggle of takingcourses, feeling like I wasn't
getting things out of them.
I didn't really feel like Ilearned well in a classroom
setting.
So it was a couple years ofthat on and off.
After my freshman year I, like Isaid, I was in my first year's
relationship that ended horribly, went through a kind of a stage
of depression quite bad and soI dropped out of college.
After my freshman year, um anduh, my sophomore year, my first
(07:09):
semester when I had decided todrop out, was kind of through.
My first semester I joined afraternity to make a couple of
new friends and, um, I wascommuting for a little bit, kind
of doing half classwork, halfworking at home, and um got to a
point where I'm like I want tobe back for my friends and so
decided to come back and stillthe school piece was like I was
(07:32):
there for the wrong reasons 100%, and so grades were horrible.
I ended up getting kicked outand I ended up coming back one
more time for friends and thatwas kind of like the last hurrah
for me at that point andthrough this happening, you know
, I was still, I was doingbusiness workshops and I was
(07:53):
still kind of in this realm,between my mom and dad, of
learning things like that andbeing around people who own
their own businesses and justkind of seeing that world.
And so I had an opportunitywhen I finally decided that I'm
done with school you know, thisis not something I should pursue
anymore.
This was after probably twoyears of actual school, probably
(08:14):
three years since I had startedI had an opportunity with a
family friend who started awindow cleaning business, and at
that time I dropped out and Ikind of had nothing going for me
.
I didn't know what I was goingto do.
And so this opportunity fellinto my lap to work for the
summer for this gentleman,mallcooks Todd Mallcook, you
know him.
Piet Van Waarde (08:34):
Oh, yeah, yeah so.
Tyler Hake (08:35):
Todd started this company and so I worked for him
this summer and it was reallycool, I mean fresh off the
ground.
Got to be somewhat in theexperience of like building up a
business from the ground, youknow, sourcing clients,
marketing, things like thatpricing.
And I found that to be cool, acool experience to be a part of.
I was there for the work morethan anything, so I did all the
(08:57):
jobs, I cleaned everything andthat got me a lot of like pride
in my work and just I've alwaysbeen something that was
instilled early on with myparents.
Just work hard and, you know,do a good job with things, and
so I carried that into that now,before you get too far into
that.
Piet Van Waarde (09:10):
I do want to do applause, because one of the
things we were talking aboutbefore we went on the air was
that, um, you know, there seemsto be this, this, this cultural
pressure for people to go fromhigh school to college, whether
or not it's something that theyshould do, and we were talking
in the car about wouldn't it becool if people were more free to
(09:32):
choose other options, becausethere are so many other ways to
get a good education.
It doesn't always have to be bygoing into debt for a formal
education at XYZ University.
There are other ways to learnand it sounds like once you kind
of sorted through the hey,college is not for me.
God opened some doors for thisand that's kind of where you
(09:55):
launched right A hundred percent.
Tyler Hake (09:56):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah , certainly something maybe I
wish happened sooner.
But you know, kind of wentthrough the whole experience
there.
But yeah, you know, learning andit was a piece of that business
that I learned after the factof kind of doing things on my
own, was learning hands-on, wasmy route to take and so totally
was not the college route for meand it's something I've gotten
(10:17):
passionate about and kind oftalking with other people about
is, you know you don't have togo to college, right, there's
certain degrees, maybe if youwant to be a doctor, you know
you don't have to go to college,right, there's certain degrees,
maybe if you want to be adoctor, you want to be a teacher
.
You know things that you mayneed.
But yeah, learning in the world, getting hands-on experience
with things, finding mentors,learning, from people.
Piet Van Waarde (10:36):
There are so many other options than college.
Yeah, so big big thing there.
So let me talk about anotherexperience you had.
So there was a in the middle.
I think this was a part of yourwork.
You were doing some work andyou had a very dramatic, almost
near-death experience wherewhere, like it wasn't, you
weren't sure you were going tosurvive.
Talk, talk a little bit aboutyeah, so yeah, so fast forward a
(11:00):
little bit.
Tyler Hake (11:00):
After I worked with todd with that business, I ended
up buying the business.
So I kind of ran it after thefirst year, um, for number of
years.
And so window cleaning was thebusiness you know a couple other
services like that, but allbasically warm weather services,
and so we would shut down inthe winter.
And I was in the habit of thiswas my second year when I owned
the business winter, and I wouldjust take any, any jobs I could
(11:21):
get in the winter, whatever.
Whatever came across.
We had a family friend whoreached out and I think her mom
had passed, she was sellingtheir house and wanted the
basement cleaned out, and so Iwas like, yeah, I can, I got a
pressure washer, I can come downand spray things out.
She had a drain down there andso, yeah, it should work out
good.
So I go over there and, um,nobody's living in the house,
(11:41):
it's the middle of winter, theheat's off, the water's off.
Well, the water was onpartially, but um, you know, no,
it's basically vacant.
And um, so I'm down in thebasement, I'm cleaning the
floors and I remember all of asudden, you know, you just I
kind of started to just feelsomething and all of a sudden my
head's just pounding and thatwas kind of the first like
(12:02):
something's wrong.
Wow, all of a sudden my head'sjust pounding and that was kind
of the first like something'swrong.
And I was probably about anhour into cleaning give or take,
and my mentality normally ispush through it Like it might
suck for a little bit, but Ijust kind of wanted to get the
job done.
And so I'm pushing through itas best I can and all of a
sudden my stomach's hurting, I'mfeeling a little lightheaded
and something's just not rightand, um, I don't really know
(12:25):
what's happening at that point.
But again, I'm in a basement, aconcrete room.
I'm running a machine and I'mlike maybe it's just too loud
and so I shut the machine off.
I sit down on the stairs in thisbasement unfinished basement
and, um, I'm just really out ofit.
I don't know what's going on.
Wow, and um, I rememberstanding up, thinking I'll just
walk it off, maybe, and I godown on the ground, I pass out
(12:49):
and I, all of a sudden I'm I'mawake and I'm sitting on the
stairs.
I'm in a completely differentposition than when I remember
going out and I had missed abunch of calls and texts from my
family and well, it turns outit had been like six hours that
I was out.
Wow, so I'm on the ground.
I don't know anything thathappened in that time, but the
only thing I know is that Imoved from the ground to the
(13:09):
stairs and so, but yeah, it hadbeen quite a long time and, um,
I remember texting my brother.
I had missed.
I was supposed to be at dinnerwith my family.
Where are you?
You're running late, like iseverything okay?
They had my location, they sawI was still at the job, and so
so I text back yeah, I'm on myway home right now.
I don't know what happened, I'mjust running late and I'm so
out of it, like I'm delirious,basically, and I remember the
only thing in my mind at thatpoint was I need to get out of
(13:31):
this house, like something'ssomething's really wrong.
Piet Van Waarde (13:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tyler Hake (13:35):
And um, and so I leave all my equipment in the
basement.
I'm going up the stairs Iremember tripping a ton of times
, it gashes all over my legs andmy knees and I make it outside,
I make it to the truck andbasically what had happened was
I was running a machine in anenclosed space.
There were windows forventilation, but ventilation was
(13:55):
not what I was thinking of atthat time, and so carbon
monoxide poisoning was what hadhappened and yeah, so really
scary situation.
And I eventually get out to mytruck and I remember getting on
the phone, I think, with mybrother and he's like, dude, you
sound drunk, like what iswhat's up?
You know something's wrong.
And we ended up.
I don't really remember theconversation, but basically we
(14:17):
got to the point of like do youthink you've got carbon monoxide
maybe?
Cause you were running amachine and you know connecting
dots here, and so they call theambulance.
They ended up coming picking meup and I had, basically I almost
had hypothermia because I hadpassed out in this wet basement
floor middle of winter, theheat's off in this house and
(14:37):
which is just a whole othercrazy piece of that story.
So they get me in the ambulance.
They couldn't get my pulse,they couldn't get like my heart
rate.
I mean I was, I was in a badspot and, yeah, I eventually had
to get med flighted to adifferent hospital.
I kind of at that point Iremember in my own head thinking
I'm in the hospital like I mustbe okay.
(14:57):
Doctors are kind of having myparents behind the scene are
literally thinking I'm going todie behind the scene are
literally thinking I'm going todie.
My heart rate was shooting upand down like crazy vital signs
and the doctors were not um, notthinking very positively on the
whole outcome of it.
Wow.
So yeah it was definitely ascary situation.
Um, and when I get to thehospital and um, it was about a
(15:18):
30 minute med flight, um, aboutan hour and a half away, where
we went to a different hospitaland I remember doctors like this
doesn't happen, you don't.
You know, you don't go to sleepfrom carbon dioxide and wake up
, it just doesn't happen.
The word miracle got thrownaround a couple times and um, so
it's a really really crazycouple days.
Um, and just yeah, very, um, Idon't know.
(15:39):
Interesting thing to look backon and kind of where I had.
Piet Van Waarde (15:41):
now, yeah, I'll bet bet.
So we haven't talked yet aboutyour faith journey, but I would
guess after an experience likethat, something got your
attention.
Yeah, is that part of how youinterpret it Totally?
Tyler Hake (15:57):
Yeah, I remember at that point in my life I wouldn't
have considered myself aChristian, but I remember
thinking like God's got a planfor me.
I wasn't meant to go.
It's kind of the words that Iwould say out loud and
specifically, you know whenpeople are throwing on the word
miracle at me.
Piet Van Waarde (16:13):
I'm like you know something happened, right,
yeah, so did you grow up aroundfaith, or was this something
that happened later for you?
How did that journey start?
Tyler Hake (16:23):
Yeah, so you know, no, we didn't really grow up in
faith.
My parents, for differentreasons, both grew up in the
faith but, for different reasons, kind of went away from it as
they got older, and so it neverwanted to be something that they
forced on us growing up whichreally turned into us not doing
anything.
Yeah, and so we would go tochurch on Christmas.
Everyone's well every Christmas.
You know, everyone saw maybeEaster or something.
(16:44):
That was kind of my experienceand my memories are really.
You know, we dressed up nice.
Piet Van Waarde (16:53):
We went as a family.
I heard a bunch of stuff Ididn't understand, that was kind
of it.
Tyler Hake (16:55):
That was my church experience, okay, and um, we
would go, we would do that onChristmas kind of, up until
maybe high school or so kind ofteetered off and then, during
college I didn't do anything.
Maybe high school or so kind ofteetered off, and then during
college I didn't do anything,and so, yeah, really nothing.
Up until I was probably I meanreally within the last two years
is when I truly became aChristian.
There were some seeds that wereplanted along the way the
(17:16):
accident was one of them 100%.
Some associations I had withsome business groups I was in.
There were some very strongChristians and so you know again
, just kind of some seedsplanted for me at that time.
Piet Van Waarde (17:27):
So what turned the corner for you?
What was it that finally said,okay, I need to explore this
further.
Tyler Hake (17:32):
Yeah.
So there was some stuff goingon with my parents health things
that we can maybe get into more, but they, through that, kind
of reinvigorated their faith alittle bit and honestly, my
accident, I will say, if I hadto guess that was probably the
first time in years that myparents had prayed.
It was a very just traumatic,like turn-to-God experience for
(17:55):
them.
Piet Van Waarde (17:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tyler Hake (17:57):
And so I think that kind of was a, like I said,
reinvigorated them a little bitand then turned to you know,
four years later they're bothdealing with, you know, some of
their individual healthstruggles.
My dad's was really bad andbasically long story short, you
know, went through all themedical things he could think of
, didn't have any answers untilhe turned to God and that was
(18:19):
kind of his healing journey, wow.
And so through that experiencewith him, the church that we go
to now, I got introduced to thepastor there and his testimony.
I didn't get into this a lot,but I had a really, really
interesting experience incollege.
That was just kind of livinglife, partying, doing drugs and
(18:40):
alcohol and a lot of problemsthat I now look back on as just
you know, things that I probablyshouldn't have been doing.
And so his testimony when ourpastor Rob shared his testimony
it really resonated with me ofyou know, a really negative past
, a history and kind of how hecame out of that and it was all
through Jesus.
(19:01):
And so, hearing that, I was likeman, this guy I resonate with I
want to talk to more.
Um, I, we had him over fordinner one night, I think, and I
kind of just asked him.
I'm like you know, I I'vealways sought out coaches and
mentors in my life for abusiness, for health, for
personal stuff.
And so I asked him you know,hey, I I'm looking for something
more.
Could you be kind of aspiritual mentor to me?
(19:21):
And he said yeah, for sure.
And you know, um, so we westarted doing lunches together
where I would just kind of askquestions, and it's funny enough
, the first time we got togetherI'd been to church a couple
times and so heard some of themessages, but he shared the
gospel thing the first time thatwe had lunch together.
And I was at this point in lifewhere I was really low.
(19:42):
I'd gone through all this stuffin college.
It kind of carried into now myprofessional adult life and I
was just struggling with things.
It was affecting myrelationship with my now fiancé,
personal relationships, myhealth, all this different stuff
, and I was just ready forsomething more.
That wasn't me.
I was kind of in thisvulnerable, humble place of just
(20:04):
like I need something else.
And yeah, he shared the gospelwith me and I remember saying
like man, if I believe this,like what do I need to do?
You know, like, how do I getthis peace that you have if I
truly believe these things?
And so he goes.
You know well, why don't wejust go in the parking lot after
this and I'll pray for you?
And you know, basically there'sjust a couple of things.
You know.
If do you believe that Jesus isGod, do you believe he died for
(20:26):
your sins, that he can give youhis righteousness, and you know
that you'll commit to followhim for your life.
And so he prayed for me.
I kind of said those things outloud and that was kind of my
moment of like accepting andfollowing Christ, and so it was
weird to have that happen thatday.
It felt so quick and so easy.
I guess you could say but itreally was.
I was just at a place where Iknew I needed something and,
(20:48):
yeah, the Lord really met me inthat moment through Rob.
Piet Van Waarde (20:51):
So before then you have this amazing miracle
story, but it's not enough tokind of turn you completely at
that time.
It probably got your attentiona little bit, but Sure.
So as you look at the timebetween that experience and your
conversation with your pastor,were there some specific
(21:11):
roadblocks for you, eitheremotionally, spiritually,
intellectually, that kind ofkept you from turning to God
more completely before thatmoment completely before that
moment.
Tyler Hake (21:22):
Yeah, I think the biggest one was probably just
having so much faith in myself,but really it's pride in myself
of just I can do whatever I needto do to get through this, to
be successful, to make money toyou know, make my life as good
as I want it to be.
Yeah, and it's no fault to myparents at all, but that's just
kind of how they raised us.
They're entrepreneurs.
(21:43):
It's like you can do anythingyou set your mind to Um and so I
didn't really have specificlike roadblocks to God or to
Christianity, but it was just.
I was so involved in myself, ofwhat I could do for me that it
was hard to think I neededanything else.
Um, and again, it was just.
I just had to get to this pointof like I was broken and I was.
I really needed something morethan myself, and I was just
(22:05):
ready to put my faith intosomething.
Piet Van Waarde (22:08):
Um, appreciate your honesty with all that.
Um, so did you once you madethat commitment.
Was it like a dramatic thingthat you felt, or was it more
like, okay, got that piecesettled and now things are
beginning to work themselves out?
How did things change for youonce you made that like
(22:28):
declaration?
Tyler Hake (22:29):
Yeah, I think the first thing that really hit me
was I started to get around alot of good, godly Christian
people and so my associationstarted to change quite a bit.
And, you know, just getting likefellowship with men around me
who were, who had previousexperiences in their past, who
were open and vulnerable, thatcould talk about stuff like that
(22:52):
, that really sparked me to likelook at the things that I
needed to change in my life, howI could best follow Christ, you
know, kind of leading by them,leading by example for me.
And I think the biggest thingthat maybe changed for me um,
inwardly was my thoughts aboutother people.
Um, and not that I have everbeen super negative or mean or
(23:14):
anything like that, but just ageneral sense of thinking about
how I talk about people, um,kind of in a gossipy way, yeah,
but um, just that really camelike in the forefront of my mind
of you know, I can be better, Ican talk about people better.
I don't need to say certainthings, and it was most of the
time it was just kind of it'swhat we did in our friend group.
You know, it's kind of how Igrew up in college.
(23:36):
It's like you know you're justmaking jokes and so, yeah, that
was a huge initial change ofjust the way I thought about
other people.
Piet Van Waarde (23:42):
Wow, Love it.
Yeah, so you mentioned brieflythat your parents went through a
very difficult season andthat's part of how I met Susanna
.
And then, when we were talkingat Hope for Cancer, I heard
about what was going on withyour dad and how debilitating
that was for him.
So when you're watching this asthe oldest son, you know
(24:07):
probably feeling some like Igotta help, I gotta be.
How did you work through someof what they were dealing with
as as their, as their sonwatching it all?
Tyler Hake (24:18):
Yeah, um, what's interesting this?
This was part of my, like, lowpoint and I think really some of
it stemmed from the issues,some of the issues, the part of
my low point, and I think reallysome of it stemmed from the
issues, the struggles my dad washaving we don't fully know.
It was partially hyperacusis,which is really heightened sound
inner ear stuff, but he wasbasically he couldn't leave the
house.
(24:38):
I mean, dogs barking fourhouses down would trigger him
through the bedroom like crazystuff, and so he, he couldn't do
a lot and it kind of dismantledour family.
You know, we've always justdone a lot together and we just
couldn't do the same things.
And so I was already at a pointwhere I was struggling with my
own things, and now, on top ofthis, it's like our
(25:00):
relationships were.
You know, the familyrelationship dynamic was
suffering and partially becauseof my own things, but now
especially because of my dad,and my mom was dealing with some
skin cancer stuff, and so justall this happening at the same
time was really challenging andyeah, that was definitely
difficult.
But you know, again they turnedto faith and that was just a
(25:22):
beautiful moment to kind of seehow that transformed their
perspective on life and dealingwith issues like that.
And so, um me, seeing thatreally prompted me and again,
that was kind of leading up to,you know, one of those seeds
that were planted right yeah.
Yep.
So yeah, it was a.
It was a very trying time forthe family.
Um really changed Um, I think,especially now how we operate.
(25:44):
Just because it was two yearsof this, this wasn't just like
two months.
Piet Van Waarde (25:48):
It was a long time.
Tyler Hake (25:49):
And so we all had to learn how to adapt and I wasn't
doing the best job.
I wasn't doing a good job.
These are one of the thingsthat kind of were coming to mind
as I'm like I'm struggling as Iwas always the oldest, like my
brothers look up to me and Iwanted to provide for my family
in a sense, just kind of pullpeople together and be a good
role model and I could feelmyself slipping from the family.
(26:13):
You know, the family just inthis in this season that we had,
and so those were one of thethings that, and my mom had a
conversation with me at onepoint about kind of needing to
step up and she talked aboutthat in her podcast a little bit
.
And that was kind of one ofthose things that was like, yeah
, you're right, like I'mstruggling with my own stuff,
but it's affecting the familyand it's kind of, you know,
(26:33):
causing all these other problems.
So, yeah, I had to.
It was a good learningexperience on how to deal with
things like that and just youknow the lens that we look at
life through in situations likethat.
Piet Van Waarde (26:42):
I find myself saying often and from how you're
talking about it, I would guessyou'd say the same but
sometimes the hardest seasons ofour life end up being the most
significant seasons, becausethere are things that happen
both in terms of like what yousaid, realizations about maybe
some of your own shortcomingsthat you need to address.
That's probably contributed tothe challenge that you're in,
(27:05):
but also the responsibility thatyou have to address.
That's probably contributed tothe challenge that you're in,
but also the responsibility thatyou have to others around you,
like I can't.
I mean, there's a time to say,hey, I need to focus on my own
things and I need to kind of getmy stuff figured out, but on
the other hand, there's like,okay, I can't wallow in this I.
I got some responsibilities thatpeople need me 100 yeah and so
it's the combination of thosethings which you hate going
(27:26):
through at the time.
But then you look back inretrospect and say, man, god
sure used that for good in mylife what the enemy meant for
evil he meant for good, Ahundred percent.
Tyler Hake (27:37):
Yeah, One of the things you know I learned early
on from my parents, just withtheir mindset and was you know,
um, failing is an opportunity to, for growth.
Um, and I think, especiallywith some of the larger ones in
life, um, it doesn't make iteasy in the moment at all, but I
think I've always, I feel likeI've always had that perspective
on things as I'm going throughthem, like things will get
(28:00):
better and I'll learn from this.
Um, and it's a simple conceptdoesn't mean it's easy, but it's
definitely served me in life tokind of look at things that way
but certainly through thingslike that, when it's more than
just me involved.
Piet Van Waarde (28:15):
Yeah, yeah, all right, let's switch gears a
little bit, so you're gettingready to get married just around
the corner.
Tyler Hake (28:21):
It's coming up soon, yeah.
Piet Van Waarde (28:23):
That's part of why I'm so grateful that you're
willing to come in the midst ofall this planning.
So I have a son that's gettingmarried as well, and so I know
how busy you guys are, butyou're in this prep process.
What are some of the thingsthat you're learning in this
season of getting ready formarriage that you think might be
worth sharing about?
Tyler Hake (28:42):
Yeah, you know, communication was something we
struggled with in the beginningI think we can both admit that
and in different ways, but thatwas something that we had to
work through and a lot of it wasunmanaged expectations and
those were two things that wejust we didn't think about.
(29:02):
Um, and thankfully we hadpeople around us who could, who
we could talk to these thingsabout.
We did a little bit of somepremarital counseling and stuff
like that, and so these weretopics that came up and um, but
but thinking about those thingsin the sense of it's not just me
anymore, it's two people andyou know I have to really cater
to, you know, the things I knowand the things I think, and the
(29:23):
same for her, and so, yeah, thatwas a really transformative.
Piet Van Waarde (29:26):
So how did that communication challenge play
out for you guys?
Tyler Hake (29:29):
Yeah, a lot again.
So the man, the unmanagedexpectations, was a big one for
us and it was not communicatinghow we wanted to, how certain
things we wanted to, you know,be done, or how we wanted to
react to things, or you knowstuff within the house or things
within the relationship, or howwe wanted to react to things,
or you know stuff within thehouse or things within the
relationship, or how we wereloving each other, or things
like that.
(29:49):
And so, yeah, it was just a lotof.
It was just we both shut downin certain ways.
Piet Van Waarde (29:56):
Yeah.
Tyler Hake (29:57):
You know, things get overwhelming and while just I
won't, I just don't want tobring it up because I don't want
to fight, you know or somethinglike that, and so we would go
months of not talking aboutthings and um, and it causes
problems as you might imagine.
Piet Van Waarde (30:07):
So yeah, surprise.
Tyler Hake (30:13):
Um, so a lot of stuff like that.
You know, it was just learningto talk about the hard stuff and
, um, to be open and vulnerable.
I mean we should be morevulnerable with our partners
than we are with, you know,other people and that was just,
I think, a struggle with us, andso it was just kind of learning
to overcome some of the fears,and some of them were, you know,
passed on maybe from pastrelationships that we had or
from the way that our parents,you know, raised us, and that
(30:36):
was a big one with managedexpectations.
I remember going through is likeyou know what are the things
your dad did for you when youwere growing up that you'd
expect me to do as your husband?
Piet Van Waarde (30:44):
you know that he did for your mom and so that
was a mind blowing conversationto have and so, but yeah, a lot
of stuff like that, yeah, yeah,no One of the things that we
talked to our kids about this alot, and even though we know it
as a not only the principle butas practice that having the hard
conversations though there'severything inside us, wants to
(31:09):
avoid that conversation when wehave it it's so good on the
other side, especially if you doit well.
Sometimes you have to apologizefor the conversation the way you
handled it.
But even that's a goodconversation, because you learn
about, like, how do we have thiskind of conversation?
What would be good, like, ifyou want me to bring something
up, how should I bring it up?
You know well, it would help ifyou qualified it a little bit
(31:31):
and said I love you mostly ofall the time.
And it's just this little thing.
This thing is not mean that Ihate you.
So, all of that, but those hardconversations.
We don't want to have them, butthey can be so helpful 100%.
Tyler Hake (31:46):
Yeah, and that's a lot of where the issues come
from.
It's like the 90-10 rule that10% of stuff is going to come
back and bite you later.
Yeah so you better deal withthem.
Piet Van Waarde (31:56):
Yes, that 10% always becomes the 90%.
Tyler Hake (31:59):
Exactly 100%.
Piet Van Waarde (32:00):
That's all you see, all right.
So, wrapping up, is thereanything that you want to talk
about further?
One of the questions I oftenlike asking is you know if you
had to come up with a lifemessage or like a principle that
serves as all the other, theumbrella for all the other
principles?
Is there something like thatthat you have in your life or
(32:22):
something else you'd like totalk about?
Tyler Hake (32:24):
Yeah, answer would have been very different 10
years ago.
Answer would have been verydifferent 10 years ago and it
would have been very differentfive years ago.
But you know, since I've cometo relation with Christ, I mean
the foundation of my whole lifenow is that you know that
relationship and living in thatand there's a lot to understand
still and a lot to work through,but you know that's changed.
(32:45):
A lot of the stuff we've talkedabout issues, whether that be
relational or business orwhatever.
I mean.
Turning to him now is is it'snot always my first option but
it's what I try to be, my firstoption and that's helped me
through a lot of things.
And you know, I think intoday's day and age that can be
a polarizing topic, I would sayyeah, of course.
(33:07):
And, um, yeah, so you knowthere's a lot of research I'm
trying to do to understandthings and, you know, so I can
better talk about that withpeople and, you know, kind of
build my own foundation on that.
But, um, yeah, I would say Iguess for other people, you know
, if you don't have Jesus inyour life, that's something to
explore 100%.
(33:28):
Yeah, and I think you know.
Going back to the relationalstuff, you know the Holy Spirit
has changed me in a lot of waysin how I deal with arguments and
you know my temper used to be aproblem, and so I find myself
having a quicker reset.
When I get upset, I find myself, you know, reacting to things a
(33:49):
lot differently, loving myfiance differently, and so it's
things like that that are.
I'd love to say those are fromme, but I don't think that they
are, and so that relationship,yeah, is just so key in
everything I'm trying to do now.
Um, and I think you know we'reall looking for something to we
(34:09):
all.
We all have a hole in us if wedon't have the Lord, and I think
we're all looking for to fillthat with something.
Yeah, and in college it wasdrugs and alcohol and and girls
and all the fun stuff I did andum, and it turned into my
business.
You know that, filling my hole,that being my whole identity
and those things all fail atsome point.
(34:30):
Yeah.
And so, yeah, just shifting thatfocus and perspective has been
huge for me.
Piet Van Waarde (34:35):
Well, I so appreciate your candor and your
willingness to be vulnerablewith me today and with our
audience.
It's been a great conversation.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, no, thank you so much forhaving me.
I enjoyed it quite a bit.
All right, well, thank you forjoining us and appreciate your
(34:56):
involvement with SidewalkConversations.
And join us again next weekwith our next guest.
So I have to say that I was super impressed
with you this morning.
I have invited many people tojoin me in the plunge not in the
plunge at the same time but tojoin me doing a plunge and
people last maybe 30 seconds ifthat and they jump right out, so
(00:21):
you're lasting 10 minutes today.
Minutes today was superimpressive I appreciate it.
Tyler Hake (00:29):
It felt good.
Yeah well, a second time.
So I had to get close to your10 there.
Piet Van Waarde (00:36):
Nobody does that.
Tyler Hake (00:37):
It's so crazy, yeah, I appreciate you letting me
join you in the morning.
Yeah, no, it was a lot of fun.
It was good.
Yeah, Wow.
Piet Van Waarde (00:46):
You're, you, you, you.
You were already pretty high inmy estimation of like cool
people, great people, but afterseeing you go 10 minutes in the
plunge, that did it.
Oh, that was like you.
You went up two or threeAwesome.
Tyler Hake (00:58):
Sweet.
No, that was good.
Yeah, um, I definitely want toget more into that.
I mean, it's just, you know,you hear the health benefits.
Piet Van Waarde (01:21):
So, yeah, it was cool.
Good for you, man, thank you.
So thank you for joining us foranother Sidewalk Conversations.
I'm so grateful that you'vedecided to tune in.
I have another really specialguest today, who actually flew
in from Wisconsin to join us,and so I'm grateful for the
opportunity to chat with Tyler,who I'll introduce in a moment,
(01:41):
but before I do, I just want tosay a thank you to our sponsor
today.
So today's sponsor is the VanWard Foundation, and basically
there are a group of people whoanonymously support the work
that we do, and so every month,they send a donation through
Patreon that sponsors ourfoundation, and the foundation
(02:03):
not only supports theseinterviews but the work that I
do with cancer patients,newsletters and a variety of
other projects, and so a bigthank you to those who are part
of that great group of peoplewho support the work.
So thank you.
Now let me introduce to youTyler Haik.
Thank you for joining us, tyler.
(02:24):
Yeah, thanks for having me Happyto be here.
Well, we've been talking a lotabout the goodness of Texas you
inspired to join us here.
Tyler Hake (02:33):
Ah man, maybe every couple months maybe.
Yeah, the heat's a little much,but I'm getting used to it.
Yeah, we're only in March, Iknow, I know.
Yeah, this isn't anythingcompared to what's coming?
Piet Van Waarde (02:42):
yeah, all right .
Well, one of the things I likedoing with these stories is I
like to start at the beginning,where people talk a little bit
about some of the ways they wereraised and some of the key
influences in their life.
And so let's start there withyou Where'd you grow up?
Tell me a little bit about thatand maybe some key experiences
(03:04):
or influences in your life atthat time.
Tyler Hake (03:06):
For sure, yeah, so Madison, Wisconsin, born and
raised Two parents.
Piet Van Waarde (03:10):
Go Badgers, go Badgers yeah.
Tyler Hake (03:14):
Yeah, I have three younger brothers or, I'm sorry,
I'm the oldest of three.
So two younger brothers, yeah,so we all live close together
still, which is great About fiveminutes, 10 minutes apart at
most.
Yeah, childhood growing up wasawesome Very, very close, tight
knit family.
We did a lot of stuff together,a lot of trips, family dinners,
things like that.
So, yeah, I mean just grew upwith a lot of love and care from
(03:37):
parents.
I mean they were my parents,both owned their own businesses
growing up, so they were kind ofaround for everything.
Piet Van Waarde (03:42):
Wow Great.
Tyler Hake (03:43):
Yeah, which was really really great, and so that
kind of allowed us to do thingsoutside of maybe a normal
schedule and, yeah, just kind ofgot a lot of experiences from a
young age doing that, whichwe're very grateful for.
Piet Van Waarde (03:56):
Now, just for those who may not know, I
interviewed your mom a couple ofweeks ago and so that's how we
got connected.
I got to know you and yourfamily through Susanna, who I
met at Hope for Cancer in Mexico, and I really appreciated her.
But then, when I met the restof the family, I'm like this is
(04:17):
like a golden family.
This is a family that's got itsshit together.
Tyler Hake (04:21):
Thank you.
Yeah, seriously, I appreciateit.
We'll take it yeah.
Piet Van Waarde (04:25):
Okay.
So when you think about your,your life and some of the key
influences from growing up, yougraduated high school, spent
some time in college, but thenyou took a little bit of a left
turn.
I guess you'd say so tell me alittle bit about that journey,
that part of your story kind ofwhat prompted you to move in the
(04:47):
direction that you ended upmoving in.
Tyler Hake (04:48):
Sure, yeah, so school growing up, I didn't
quite enjoy high school, middleschool.
All the way through it wasalways kind of like why am I
learning this stuff Am?
I going to use this stuffStruggled a little bit here and
there, but yeah, so when I, as Isaid, my parents own their own
businesses, so that was kind ofalways something in the back of
my mind I looked up to thefreedom and flexibility that
(05:13):
they were kind of able to havewith those businesses.
I had a little bit of experiencein entrepreneurship a network
marketing business at one pointand helped my dad with his
business, so that was kind ofthrough high school.
A network marketing business atone point and helped my dad
with his business, so that waskind of through high school.
But when I when it was time tograduate high school, my parents
never pushed me to college, butit was just kind of the next
step for me at that time it wasyep, just kind of.
(05:34):
I didn't really have an ambitionto go out and do anything that
I was excited about orpassionate about, and so college
was just kind of it.
I got accepted to a college andit was meant to be.
So, um, yeah, I and I don'tknow why I thought that, you
know, not liking high school wasgoing to translate any
differently to college.
Um, and my first year was great.
It was kind of my firstexperience out of the home.
(05:56):
I was about an hour away fromhome, which was just far enough,
but I was still close.
I went back, you know,relatively often and yeah, I
kind of was able to spread mywings a little bit, made a lot
of friends, got into kind of myfirst serious relationship in
college just got to kind of feellike I was experiencing life a
little bit more so Right, right,right.
That school part really did notpick up much.
Piet Van Waarde (06:20):
Nice way to say that.
Yeah, that is the nice way.
Tyler Hake (06:23):
And so I think very quickly through my freshman year
I kind of felt that same way of, like you know, you have to
take the general courses.
There's a lot of things thatI'm taking I feel like I'll
never use.
I was going for a generalbusiness degree, so kind of
following in that business path,but I just, yeah, it was always
(06:45):
kind of a struggle of takingcourses, feeling like I wasn't
getting things out of them.
I didn't really feel like Ilearned well in a classroom
setting.
So it was a couple years ofthat on and off.
After my freshman year I, like Isaid, I was in my first year's
relationship that ended horribly, went through a kind of a stage
of depression quite bad and soI dropped out of college.
After my freshman year, um anduh, my sophomore year, my first
(07:09):
semester when I had decided todrop out, was kind of through.
My first semester I joined afraternity to make a couple of
new friends and, um, I wascommuting for a little bit, kind
of doing half classwork, halfworking at home, and um got to a
point where I'm like I want tobe back for my friends and so
decided to come back and stillthe school piece was like I was
(07:32):
there for the wrong reasons 100%, and so grades were horrible.
I ended up getting kicked outand I ended up coming back one
more time for friends and thatwas kind of like the last hurrah
for me at that point andthrough this happening, you know
, I was still, I was doingbusiness workshops and I was
(07:53):
still kind of in this realm,between my mom and dad, of
learning things like that andbeing around people who own
their own businesses and justkind of seeing that world.
And so I had an opportunitywhen I finally decided that I'm
done with school you know, thisis not something I should pursue
anymore.
This was after probably twoyears of actual school, probably
(08:14):
three years since I had startedI had an opportunity with a
family friend who started awindow cleaning business, and at
that time I dropped out and Ikind of had nothing going for me
.
I didn't know what I was goingto do.
And so this opportunity fellinto my lap to work for the
summer for this gentleman,mallcooks Todd Mallcook, you
know him.
Piet Van Waarde (08:34):
Oh, yeah, yeah so.
Tyler Hake (08:35):
Todd started this company and so I worked for him
this summer and it was reallycool, I mean fresh off the
ground.
Got to be somewhat in theexperience of like building up a
business from the ground, youknow, sourcing clients,
marketing, things like thatpricing.
And I found that to be cool, acool experience to be a part of.
I was there for the work morethan anything, so I did all the
(08:57):
jobs, I cleaned everything andthat got me a lot of like pride
in my work and just I've alwaysbeen something that was
instilled early on with myparents.
Just work hard and, you know,do a good job with things, and
so I carried that into that now,before you get too far into
that.
Piet Van Waarde (09:10):
I do want to do applause, because one of the
things we were talking aboutbefore we went on the air was
that, um, you know, there seemsto be this, this, this cultural
pressure for people to go fromhigh school to college, whether
or not it's something that theyshould do, and we were talking
in the car about wouldn't it becool if people were more free to
(09:32):
choose other options, becausethere are so many other ways to
get a good education.
It doesn't always have to be bygoing into debt for a formal
education at XYZ University.
There are other ways to learnand it sounds like once you kind
of sorted through the hey,college is not for me.
God opened some doors for thisand that's kind of where you
(09:55):
launched right A hundred percent.
Tyler Hake (09:56):
Yeah, yeah, and yeah , certainly something maybe I
wish happened sooner.
But you know, kind of wentthrough the whole experience
there.
But yeah, you know, learning andit was a piece of that business
that I learned after the factof kind of doing things on my
own, was learning hands-on, wasmy route to take and so totally
was not the college route for meand it's something I've gotten
(10:17):
passionate about and kind oftalking with other people about
is, you know you don't have togo to college, right, there's
certain degrees, maybe if youwant to be a doctor, you know
you don't have to go to college,right, there's certain degrees,
maybe if you want to be adoctor, you want to be a teacher
.
You know things that you mayneed.
But yeah, learning in the world, getting hands-on experience
with things, finding mentors,learning, from people.
Piet Van Waarde (10:36):
There are so many other options than college.
Yeah, so big big thing there.
So let me talk about anotherexperience you had.
So there was a in the middle.
I think this was a part of yourwork.
You were doing some work andyou had a very dramatic, almost
near-death experience wherewhere, like it wasn't, you
weren't sure you were going tosurvive.
Talk, talk a little bit aboutyeah, so yeah, so fast forward a
(11:00):
little bit.
Tyler Hake (11:00):
After I worked with todd with that business, I ended
up buying the business.
So I kind of ran it after thefirst year, um, for number of
years.
And so window cleaning was thebusiness you know a couple other
services like that, but allbasically warm weather services,
and so we would shut down inthe winter.
And I was in the habit of thiswas my second year when I owned
the business winter, and I wouldjust take any, any jobs I could
(11:21):
get in the winter, whatever.
Whatever came across.
We had a family friend whoreached out and I think her mom
had passed, she was sellingtheir house and wanted the
basement cleaned out, and so Iwas like, yeah, I can, I got a
pressure washer, I can come downand spray things out.
She had a drain down there andso, yeah, it should work out
good.
So I go over there and, um,nobody's living in the house,
(11:41):
it's the middle of winter, theheat's off, the water's off.
Well, the water was onpartially, but um, you know, no,
it's basically vacant.
And um, so I'm down in thebasement, I'm cleaning the
floors and I remember all of asudden, you know, you just I
kind of started to just feelsomething and all of a sudden my
head's just pounding and thatwas kind of the first like
(12:02):
something's wrong.
Wow, all of a sudden my head'sjust pounding and that was kind
of the first like something'swrong.
And I was probably about anhour into cleaning give or take,
and my mentality normally ispush through it Like it might
suck for a little bit, but Ijust kind of wanted to get the
job done.
And so I'm pushing through itas best I can and all of a
sudden my stomach's hurting, I'mfeeling a little lightheaded
and something's just not rightand, um, I don't really know
(12:25):
what's happening at that point.
But again, I'm in a basement, aconcrete room.
I'm running a machine and I'mlike maybe it's just too loud
and so I shut the machine off.
I sit down on the stairs in thisbasement unfinished basement
and, um, I'm just really out ofit.
I don't know what's going on.
Wow, and um, I rememberstanding up, thinking I'll just
walk it off, maybe, and I godown on the ground, I pass out
(12:49):
and I, all of a sudden I'm I'mawake and I'm sitting on the
stairs.
I'm in a completely differentposition than when I remember
going out and I had missed abunch of calls and texts from my
family and well, it turns outit had been like six hours that
I was out.
Wow, so I'm on the ground.
I don't know anything thathappened in that time, but the
only thing I know is that Imoved from the ground to the
(13:09):
stairs and so, but yeah, it hadbeen quite a long time and, um,
I remember texting my brother.
I had missed.
I was supposed to be at dinnerwith my family.
Where are you?
You're running late, like iseverything okay?
They had my location, they sawI was still at the job, and so
so I text back yeah, I'm on myway home right now.
I don't know what happened, I'mjust running late and I'm so
out of it, like I'm delirious,basically, and I remember the
only thing in my mind at thatpoint was I need to get out of
(13:31):
this house, like something'ssomething's really wrong.
Piet Van Waarde (13:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tyler Hake (13:35):
And um, and so I leave all my equipment in the
basement.
I'm going up the stairs Iremember tripping a ton of times
, it gashes all over my legs andmy knees and I make it outside,
I make it to the truck andbasically what had happened was
I was running a machine in anenclosed space.
There were windows forventilation, but ventilation was
(13:55):
not what I was thinking of atthat time, and so carbon
monoxide poisoning was what hadhappened and yeah, so really
scary situation.
And I eventually get out to mytruck and I remember getting on
the phone, I think, with mybrother and he's like, dude, you
sound drunk, like what iswhat's up?
You know something's wrong.
And we ended up.
I don't really remember theconversation, but basically we
(14:17):
got to the point of like do youthink you've got carbon monoxide
maybe?
Cause you were running amachine and you know connecting
dots here, and so they call theambulance.
They ended up coming picking meup and I had, basically I almost
had hypothermia because I hadpassed out in this wet basement
floor middle of winter, theheat's off in this house and
(14:37):
which is just a whole othercrazy piece of that story.
So they get me in the ambulance.
They couldn't get my pulse,they couldn't get like my heart
rate.
I mean I was, I was in a badspot and, yeah, I eventually had
to get med flighted to adifferent hospital.
I kind of at that point Iremember in my own head thinking
I'm in the hospital like I mustbe okay.
(14:57):
Doctors are kind of having myparents behind the scene are
literally thinking I'm going todie behind the scene are
literally thinking I'm going todie.
My heart rate was shooting upand down like crazy vital signs
and the doctors were not um, notthinking very positively on the
whole outcome of it.
Wow.
So yeah it was definitely ascary situation.
Um, and when I get to thehospital and um, it was about a
(15:18):
30 minute med flight, um, aboutan hour and a half away, where
we went to a different hospitaland I remember doctors like this
doesn't happen, you don't.
You know, you don't go to sleepfrom carbon dioxide and wake up
, it just doesn't happen.
The word miracle got thrownaround a couple times and um, so
it's a really really crazycouple days.
Um, and just yeah, very, um, Idon't know.
(15:39):
Interesting thing to look backon and kind of where I had.
Piet Van Waarde (15:41):
now, yeah, I'll bet bet.
So we haven't talked yet aboutyour faith journey, but I would
guess after an experience likethat, something got your
attention.
Yeah, is that part of how youinterpret it Totally?
Tyler Hake (15:57):
Yeah, I remember at that point in my life I wouldn't
have considered myself aChristian, but I remember
thinking like God's got a planfor me.
I wasn't meant to go.
It's kind of the words that Iwould say out loud and
specifically, you know whenpeople are throwing on the word
miracle at me.
Piet Van Waarde (16:13):
I'm like you know something happened, right,
yeah, so did you grow up aroundfaith, or was this something
that happened later for you?
How did that journey start?
Tyler Hake (16:23):
Yeah, so you know, no, we didn't really grow up in
faith.
My parents, for differentreasons, both grew up in the
faith but, for different reasons, kind of went away from it as
they got older, and so it neverwanted to be something that they
forced on us growing up whichreally turned into us not doing
anything.
Yeah, and so we would go tochurch on Christmas.
Everyone's well every Christmas.
You know, everyone saw maybeEaster or something.
(16:44):
That was kind of my experienceand my memories are really.
You know, we dressed up nice.
Piet Van Waarde (16:53):
We went as a family.
I heard a bunch of stuff Ididn't understand, that was kind
of it.
Tyler Hake (16:55):
That was my church experience, okay, and um, we
would go, we would do that onChristmas kind of, up until
maybe high school or so kind ofteetered off and then, during
college I didn't do anything.
Maybe high school or so kind ofteetered off, and then during
college I didn't do anything,and so, yeah, really nothing.
Up until I was probably I meanreally within the last two years
is when I truly became aChristian.
There were some seeds that wereplanted along the way the
(17:16):
accident was one of them 100%.
Some associations I had withsome business groups I was in.
There were some very strongChristians and so you know again
, just kind of some seedsplanted for me at that time.
Piet Van Waarde (17:27):
So what turned the corner for you?
What was it that finally said,okay, I need to explore this
further.
Tyler Hake (17:32):
Yeah.
So there was some stuff goingon with my parents health things
that we can maybe get into more, but they, through that, kind
of reinvigorated their faith alittle bit and honestly, my
accident, I will say, if I hadto guess that was probably the
first time in years that myparents had prayed.
It was a very just traumatic,like turn-to-God experience for
(17:55):
them.
Piet Van Waarde (17:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tyler Hake (17:57):
And so I think that kind of was a, like I said,
reinvigorated them a little bitand then turned to you know,
four years later they're bothdealing with, you know, some of
their individual healthstruggles.
My dad's was really bad andbasically long story short, you
know, went through all themedical things he could think of
, didn't have any answers untilhe turned to God and that was
(18:19):
kind of his healing journey, wow.
And so through that experiencewith him, the church that we go
to now, I got introduced to thepastor there and his testimony.
I didn't get into this a lot,but I had a really, really
interesting experience incollege.
That was just kind of livinglife, partying, doing drugs and
(18:40):
alcohol and a lot of problemsthat I now look back on as just
you know, things that I probablyshouldn't have been doing.
And so his testimony when ourpastor Rob shared his testimony
it really resonated with me ofyou know, a really negative past
, a history and kind of how hecame out of that and it was all
through Jesus.
(19:01):
And so, hearing that, I was likeman, this guy I resonate with I
want to talk to more.
Um, I, we had him over fordinner one night, I think, and I
kind of just asked him.
I'm like you know, I I'vealways sought out coaches and
mentors in my life for abusiness, for health, for
personal stuff.
And so I asked him you know,hey, I I'm looking for something
more.
Could you be kind of aspiritual mentor to me?
(19:21):
And he said yeah, for sure.
And you know, um, so we westarted doing lunches together
where I would just kind of askquestions, and it's funny enough
, the first time we got togetherI'd been to church a couple
times and so heard some of themessages, but he shared the
gospel thing the first time thatwe had lunch together.
And I was at this point in lifewhere I was really low.
(19:42):
I'd gone through all this stuffin college.
It kind of carried into now myprofessional adult life and I
was just struggling with things.
It was affecting myrelationship with my now fiancé,
personal relationships, myhealth, all this different stuff
, and I was just ready forsomething more.
That wasn't me.
I was kind of in thisvulnerable, humble place of just
(20:04):
like I need something else.
And yeah, he shared the gospelwith me and I remember saying
like man, if I believe this,like what do I need to do?
You know, like, how do I getthis peace that you have if I
truly believe these things?
And so he goes.
You know well, why don't wejust go in the parking lot after
this and I'll pray for you?
And you know, basically there'sjust a couple of things.
You know.
If do you believe that Jesus isGod, do you believe he died for
(20:26):
your sins, that he can give youhis righteousness, and you know
that you'll commit to followhim for your life.
And so he prayed for me.
I kind of said those things outloud and that was kind of my
moment of like accepting andfollowing Christ, and so it was
weird to have that happen thatday.
It felt so quick and so easy.
I guess you could say but itreally was.
I was just at a place where Iknew I needed something and,
(20:48):
yeah, the Lord really met me inthat moment through Rob.
Piet Van Waarde (20:51):
So before then you have this amazing miracle
story, but it's not enough tokind of turn you completely at
that time.
It probably got your attentiona little bit, but Sure.
So as you look at the timebetween that experience and your
conversation with your pastor,were there some specific
(21:11):
roadblocks for you, eitheremotionally, spiritually,
intellectually, that kind ofkept you from turning to God
more completely before thatmoment completely before that
moment.
Tyler Hake (21:22):
Yeah, I think the biggest one was probably just
having so much faith in myself,but really it's pride in myself
of just I can do whatever I needto do to get through this, to
be successful, to make money toyou know, make my life as good
as I want it to be.
Yeah, and it's no fault to myparents at all, but that's just
kind of how they raised us.
They're entrepreneurs.
(21:43):
It's like you can do anythingyou set your mind to Um and so I
didn't really have specificlike roadblocks to God or to
Christianity, but it was just.
I was so involved in myself, ofwhat I could do for me that it
was hard to think I neededanything else.
Um, and again, it was just.
I just had to get to this pointof like I was broken and I was.
I really needed something morethan myself, and I was just
(22:05):
ready to put my faith intosomething.
Piet Van Waarde (22:08):
Um, appreciate your honesty with all that.
Um, so did you once you madethat commitment.
Was it like a dramatic thingthat you felt, or was it more
like, okay, got that piecesettled and now things are
beginning to work themselves out?
How did things change for youonce you made that like
(22:28):
declaration?
Tyler Hake (22:29):
Yeah, I think the first thing that really hit me
was I started to get around alot of good, godly Christian
people and so my associationstarted to change quite a bit.
And, you know, just getting likefellowship with men around me
who were, who had previousexperiences in their past, who
were open and vulnerable, thatcould talk about stuff like that
(22:52):
, that really sparked me to likelook at the things that I
needed to change in my life, howI could best follow Christ, you
know, kind of leading by them,leading by example for me.
And I think the biggest thingthat maybe changed for me um,
inwardly was my thoughts aboutother people.
Um, and not that I have everbeen super negative or mean or
(23:14):
anything like that, but just ageneral sense of thinking about
how I talk about people, um,kind of in a gossipy way, yeah,
but um, just that really camelike in the forefront of my mind
of you know, I can be better, Ican talk about people better.
I don't need to say certainthings, and it was most of the
time it was just kind of it'swhat we did in our friend group.
You know, it's kind of how Igrew up in college.
(23:36):
It's like you know you're justmaking jokes and so, yeah, that
was a huge initial change ofjust the way I thought about
other people.
Piet Van Waarde (23:42):
Wow, Love it.
Yeah, so you mentioned brieflythat your parents went through a
very difficult season andthat's part of how I met Susanna
.
And then, when we were talkingat Hope for Cancer, I heard
about what was going on withyour dad and how debilitating
that was for him.
So when you're watching this asthe oldest son, you know
(24:07):
probably feeling some like Igotta help, I gotta be.
How did you work through someof what they were dealing with
as as their, as their sonwatching it all?
Tyler Hake (24:18):
Yeah, um, what's interesting this?
This was part of my, like, lowpoint and I think really some of
it stemmed from the issues,some of the issues, the part of
my low point, and I think reallysome of it stemmed from the
issues, the struggles my dad washaving we don't fully know.
It was partially hyperacusis,which is really heightened sound
inner ear stuff, but he wasbasically he couldn't leave the
house.
(24:38):
I mean, dogs barking fourhouses down would trigger him
through the bedroom like crazystuff, and so he, he couldn't do
a lot and it kind of dismantledour family.
You know, we've always justdone a lot together and we just
couldn't do the same things.
And so I was already at a pointwhere I was struggling with my
own things, and now, on top ofthis, it's like our
(25:00):
relationships were.
You know, the familyrelationship dynamic was
suffering and partially becauseof my own things, but now
especially because of my dad,and my mom was dealing with some
skin cancer stuff, and so justall this happening at the same
time was really challenging andyeah, that was definitely
difficult.
But you know, again they turnedto faith and that was just a
(25:22):
beautiful moment to kind of seehow that transformed their
perspective on life and dealingwith issues like that.
And so, um me, seeing thatreally prompted me and again,
that was kind of leading up to,you know, one of those seeds
that were planted right yeah.
Yep.
So yeah, it was a.
It was a very trying time forthe family.
Um really changed Um, I think,especially now how we operate.
(25:44):
Just because it was two yearsof this, this wasn't just like
two months.
Piet Van Waarde (25:48):
It was a long time.
Tyler Hake (25:49):
And so we all had to learn how to adapt and I wasn't
doing the best job.
I wasn't doing a good job.
These are one of the thingsthat kind of were coming to mind
as I'm like I'm struggling as Iwas always the oldest, like my
brothers look up to me and Iwanted to provide for my family
in a sense, just kind of pullpeople together and be a good
role model and I could feelmyself slipping from the family.
(26:13):
You know, the family just inthis in this season that we had,
and so those were one of thethings that, and my mom had a
conversation with me at onepoint about kind of needing to
step up and she talked aboutthat in her podcast a little bit
.
And that was kind of one ofthose things that was like, yeah
, you're right, like I'mstruggling with my own stuff,
but it's affecting the familyand it's kind of, you know,
(26:33):
causing all these other problems.
So, yeah, I had to.
It was a good learningexperience on how to deal with
things like that and just youknow the lens that we look at
life through in situations likethat.
Piet Van Waarde (26:42):
I find myself saying often and from how you're
talking about it, I would guessyou'd say the same but
sometimes the hardest seasons ofour life end up being the most
significant seasons, becausethere are things that happen
both in terms of like what yousaid, realizations about maybe
some of your own shortcomingsthat you need to address.
That's probably contributed tothe challenge that you're in,
(27:05):
but also the responsibility thatyou have to address.
That's probably contributed tothe challenge that you're in,
but also the responsibility thatyou have to others around you,
like I can't.
I mean, there's a time to say,hey, I need to focus on my own
things and I need to kind of getmy stuff figured out, but on
the other hand, there's like,okay, I can't wallow in this I.
I got some responsibilities thatpeople need me 100 yeah and so
it's the combination of thosethings which you hate going
(27:26):
through at the time.
But then you look back inretrospect and say, man, god
sure used that for good in mylife what the enemy meant for
evil he meant for good, Ahundred percent.
Tyler Hake (27:37):
Yeah, One of the things you know I learned early
on from my parents, just withtheir mindset and was you know,
um, failing is an opportunity to, for growth.
Um, and I think, especiallywith some of the larger ones in
life, um, it doesn't make iteasy in the moment at all, but I
think I've always, I feel likeI've always had that perspective
on things as I'm going throughthem, like things will get
(28:00):
better and I'll learn from this.
Um, and it's a simple conceptdoesn't mean it's easy, but it's
definitely served me in life tokind of look at things that way
but certainly through thingslike that, when it's more than
just me involved.
Piet Van Waarde (28:15):
Yeah, yeah, all right, let's switch gears a
little bit, so you're gettingready to get married just around
the corner.
Tyler Hake (28:21):
It's coming up soon, yeah.
Piet Van Waarde (28:23):
That's part of why I'm so grateful that you're
willing to come in the midst ofall this planning.
So I have a son that's gettingmarried as well, and so I know
how busy you guys are, butyou're in this prep process.
What are some of the thingsthat you're learning in this
season of getting ready formarriage that you think might be
worth sharing about?
Tyler Hake (28:42):
Yeah, you know, communication was something we
struggled with in the beginningI think we can both admit that
and in different ways, but thatwas something that we had to
work through and a lot of it wasunmanaged expectations and
those were two things that wejust we didn't think about.
(29:02):
Um, and thankfully we hadpeople around us who could, who
we could talk to these thingsabout.
We did a little bit of somepremarital counseling and stuff
like that, and so these weretopics that came up and um, but
but thinking about those thingsin the sense of it's not just me
anymore, it's two people andyou know I have to really cater
to, you know, the things I knowand the things I think, and the
(29:23):
same for her, and so, yeah, thatwas a really transformative.
Piet Van Waarde (29:26):
So how did that communication challenge play
out for you guys?
Tyler Hake (29:29):
Yeah, a lot again.
So the man, the unmanagedexpectations, was a big one for
us and it was not communicatinghow we wanted to, how certain
things we wanted to, you know,be done, or how we wanted to
react to things, or you knowstuff within the house or things
within the relationship, or howwe wanted to react to things,
or you know stuff within thehouse or things within the
relationship, or how we wereloving each other, or things
like that.
(29:49):
And so, yeah, it was just a lotof.
It was just we both shut downin certain ways.
Piet Van Waarde (29:56):
Yeah.
Tyler Hake (29:57):
You know, things get overwhelming and while just I
won't, I just don't want tobring it up because I don't want
to fight, you know or somethinglike that, and so we would go
months of not talking aboutthings and um, and it causes
problems as you might imagine.
Piet Van Waarde (30:07):
So yeah, surprise.
Tyler Hake (30:13):
Um, so a lot of stuff like that.
You know, it was just learningto talk about the hard stuff and
, um, to be open and vulnerable.
I mean we should be morevulnerable with our partners
than we are with, you know,other people and that was just,
I think, a struggle with us, andso it was just kind of learning
to overcome some of the fears,and some of them were, you know,
passed on maybe from pastrelationships that we had or
from the way that our parents,you know, raised us, and that
(30:36):
was a big one with managedexpectations.
I remember going through is likeyou know what are the things
your dad did for you when youwere growing up that you'd
expect me to do as your husband?
Piet Van Waarde (30:44):
you know that he did for your mom and so that
was a mind blowing conversationto have and so, but yeah, a lot
of stuff like that, yeah, yeah,no One of the things that we
talked to our kids about this alot, and even though we know it
as a not only the principle butas practice that having the hard
conversations though there'severything inside us, wants to
(31:09):
avoid that conversation when wehave it it's so good on the
other side, especially if you doit well.
Sometimes you have to apologizefor the conversation the way you
handled it.
But even that's a goodconversation, because you learn
about, like, how do we have thiskind of conversation?
What would be good, like, ifyou want me to bring something
up, how should I bring it up?
You know well, it would help ifyou qualified it a little bit
(31:31):
and said I love you mostly ofall the time.
And it's just this little thing.
This thing is not mean that Ihate you.
So, all of that, but those hardconversations.
We don't want to have them, butthey can be so helpful 100%.
Tyler Hake (31:46):
Yeah, and that's a lot of where the issues come
from.
It's like the 90-10 rule that10% of stuff is going to come
back and bite you later.
Yeah so you better deal withthem.
Piet Van Waarde (31:56):
Yes, that 10% always becomes the 90%.
Tyler Hake (31:59):
Exactly 100%.
Piet Van Waarde (32:00):
That's all you see, all right.
So, wrapping up, is thereanything that you want to talk
about further?
One of the questions I oftenlike asking is you know if you
had to come up with a lifemessage or like a principle that
serves as all the other, theumbrella for all the other
principles?
Is there something like thatthat you have in your life or
(32:22):
something else you'd like totalk about?
Tyler Hake (32:24):
Yeah, answer would have been very different 10
years ago.
Answer would have been verydifferent 10 years ago and it
would have been very differentfive years ago.
But you know, since I've cometo relation with Christ, I mean
the foundation of my whole lifenow is that you know that
relationship and living in thatand there's a lot to understand
still and a lot to work through,but you know that's changed.
(32:45):
A lot of the stuff we've talkedabout issues, whether that be
relational or business orwhatever.
I mean.
Turning to him now is is it'snot always my first option but
it's what I try to be, my firstoption and that's helped me
through a lot of things.
And you know, I think intoday's day and age that can be
a polarizing topic, I would sayyeah, of course.
(33:07):
And, um, yeah, so you knowthere's a lot of research I'm
trying to do to understandthings and, you know, so I can
better talk about that withpeople and, you know, kind of
build my own foundation on that.
But, um, yeah, I would say Iguess for other people, you know
, if you don't have Jesus inyour life, that's something to
explore 100%.
(33:28):
Yeah, and I think you know.
Going back to the relationalstuff, you know the Holy Spirit
has changed me in a lot of waysin how I deal with arguments and
you know my temper used to be aproblem, and so I find myself
having a quicker reset.
When I get upset, I find myself, you know, reacting to things a
(33:49):
lot differently, loving myfiance differently, and so it's
things like that that are.
I'd love to say those are fromme, but I don't think that they
are, and so that relationship,yeah, is just so key in
everything I'm trying to do now.
Um, and I think you know we'reall looking for something to we
(34:09):
all.
We all have a hole in us if wedon't have the Lord, and I think
we're all looking for to fillthat with something.
Yeah, and in college it wasdrugs and alcohol and and girls
and all the fun stuff I did andum, and it turned into my
business.
You know that, filling my hole,that being my whole identity
and those things all fail atsome point.
(34:30):
Yeah.
And so, yeah, just shifting thatfocus and perspective has been
huge for me.
Piet Van Waarde (34:35):
Well, I so appreciate your candor and your
willingness to be vulnerablewith me today and with our
audience.
It's been a great conversation.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, no, thank you so much forhaving me.
I enjoyed it quite a bit.
All right, well, thank you forjoining us and appreciate your
(34:56):
involvement with SidewalkConversations.
And join us again next weekwith our next guest.
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