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August 19, 2024 12 mins

Ep 29 - Cross (2011)

"To stop an ancient evil, it's going to take big guns, hard sticks, and exploding balls."

" ...
So as any good police officer would do he yells at her and waves in her face until she wakes up, which works, even though we’ve already established she slept through a needle being put in her arm. She is understandably confused and asks “Where am I?” To which our detective replies, and this is a direct quote “Oh honey you’re in heaven, You're in heaven, and I’m god. Okay. Say hi god.” The actress at this point looks genuinely confused, and I like to imagine it’s because Sizemore went off-script. After all, he only did this movie as a favor and we’re not paying him enough to memorize lines or do a second take..." 



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Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!



Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo


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