Day of the Warrior (1996)
"The L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies Are Back!"
"... There’s a great deal of this movie is spent moving from place to place. Whether it be by car, boat, plane, rollerblading, or even by foot no distance is too far to travel to exchange two lines of dialogue and then move on to the next location. At one point someone drives a jeep in a circle just to deliver a single line. It’s like they wanted to show off all the cool high-end luxury vehicles they could, and then realized they could only afford mid-range sedans, but went ahead with it anyway.
The Warrior just sits around in his wrestling gear, and face paint, covered in baby oil, inside a wrestling ring, and runs his criminal empire, and then when he ever so briefly sits down at the computer, loses all personality. He attempts to remove some of his face paint, and on the right side of his face it’s already gone, but that does not stop him from trying to remove it anyway. No. three times, no. He then attempts to remove face paint from the left side and misses completely. He then tries to remove the non-existent face paint from his right side again. He then tries a fifth time to remove the makeup from his right side, then misses on the left again, before a sixth attempt to remove nonexistent face paint on the right side. Did he get baby oil in his eyes? What’s happening here? What are you doing? ... "
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
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