Knowing

SLEPT-ON CINEMA #67: KNOWING (2009)

The One Where Nic Cage Does Math and Things Get WEIRD

🎬 THE BASICS

Film: Knowing (2009)

Rotten Scores: Critics 35% | Audience 42%

Why It Qualifies: Because apparently predicting the future isn't impressive enough for critics

🍿 FIRST HALF HIGHLIGHTS (SPOILER-FREE!)

The Setup

Professor Nicolas Cage's son gets a creepy note from a 50-year-old time capsule. Turns out it's not your average "what I want to be when I grow up" letter. Cage does what any rational MIT professor would do: becomes obsessed, drinks heavily, and starts doing MATH.

BOLO - Your Viewing Checklist:

• 📊 SO. MANY. NUMBERS.
• ✍️ Cursive writing (RIP penmanship)
• 🔦 X-Files worthy flashlight action
• 🥃 Cage's drinking game potential
• 🚣 Boston movie bingo: crew on the Charles!
• 📀 Peak 2000s tech: DVDs & 6-CD changers
• 🏠 Possibly the creepiest house in cinema
• 👂 Our first hearing aid movie!

🍺 DRINK PAIRING CORNER

Fancy Option: 1975 vintage wine (time capsule vibes)

Realistic Option: The biggest pour of whiskey you've ever seen

💭 Stan's Pre-Watch Confusion

"I thought this was 'Next' - that OTHER Nic Cage future-predicting movie from 2007. Turns out Cage predicts the future so often it's basically its own genre."

🎯 WHY THIS MOVIE MATTERS

It's 2009 peak Nicolas Cage doing peak Nicolas Cage things. The hosts promise this film "throws EVERYTHING at you" and refuses to pick a genre. Is it disaster? Thriller? Mystery? Yes.

🎙️ QUOTABLE GROBESTREET & STANSTEAMER

• "This is another Nicholas Cage film, which is almost a genre of its own"
• "People want to know what type of movie they're watching. This movie doesn't give you one type"
• "Prime, prime Cage era film not to be missed"

📺 PERFECT FOR:

• Nic Cage completists
• Time capsule enthusiasts
• Anyone who likes their movies INSANE
• People who appreciate when films go completely off the rails

⏰ THE TIME CAPSULE RABBIT HOLE

Fun fact: There's a REAL missing time capsule in Walpole, Mass from 1974. Stan has offered to bring his shovel if anyone has leads. Also, Sam Adams and Paul Revere made America's first time capsule because of course they did.

🚨 VIEWER ADVISORY

This movie gets progressively more bonkers. Whatever genre you think you're watching, you're wrong. Just embrace the chaos.

Remember: First half is spoiler-free! Watch the movie, then come back for the full draft picks, bumper stickers, and Stan's spinoff pitch that somehow involves Nicolas Cage in space.

Next Week: DRIVE ANGRY - Because when you think you're doing one Nic Cage movie, you HAVE to do another!

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