April 2, 2025 • 44 mins
In this transformative episode of Small Business Pivots, we engage with Kute Blackson—a renowned transformational teacher, speaker, and bestselling author of "You.Are.The.One." and "The Magic of Surrender"—to explore the profound connection between self-worth, personal growth, and business transformation.
Kute shares his unique perspective on "uncoaching," a process designed to help individuals shed conditioned beliefs and reconnect with their authentic selves. He emphasizes that surrender is not about defeat but about consciously releasing outdated narratives to align with one's true purpose. By reframing our relationship with failure, expectations, and external validations, Kute outlines actionable steps to reclaim personal power and lead with authenticity.
This episode serves as a catalyst for awakening, offering strategies to question limiting beliefs, heal from past experiences, and thrive both personally and professionally. Tune in to this inspiring discussion and consider exploring Kute Blackson's insightful books to further your journey toward self-discovery and success.
Kute Blackson: Transformational Teacher & Bestselling Author
Website: https://kuteblackson.com/
*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kuteblacksonlovenow
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kuteblackson
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kuteblackson09
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519/
Kute’s Life changing Path to Abundance & Miracles: https://www.8levelsofgratitude.com/the-8-levels-of-gratitude
Blog: https://kuteblackson.com/blog/
Book: https://kuteblackson.com/books/themagicofsurrender/
Podcast: https://kuteblackson.com/soultalk/
#KuteBlackson #SmallBusinessPivots #MichaelDMorrison #OklahomaCity #BusinessTransformation #SelfWorth #PersonalGrowth #EntrepreneurMindset #AuthenticLeadership #SuccessMindset #OvercomingSelfDoubt #TransformationalCoach #MindsetMatters #TheMagicOfSurrender #Uncoaching #EntrepreneurshipJourney #SmallBusinessGrowth #MindsetShift #SelfDiscovery #BusinessCoaching #Empowerment #SuccessStrategies #EntrepreneursLife #BuildYourEmpire #BusinessMindset #InnerGrowth #HighPerformanceHabits #PurposeDrivenBusiness #LeadershipSuccess #BreakThroughLimits #SmallBusinessSuccess #MindsetForSuccess
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, welcome to another Small Business, pivots,
and we have another specialguest from around the world, not
too far from our headquartersin Oklahoma City, and I know
that no one can introducethemselves and their business
like the business owner, so I'mgoing to let you introduce
yourself, tell us a little bitabout you and some accolades and
how we're going to help ourguests today today, wow Blackson
(00:23):
, here, nationally bestselling,author of two books the Magic of
Surrender, and you Are the One.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
The last 20 plus years I've traveled the globe,
traveled the world, inspiring,enlightening, awakening,
transforming lives one-on-one,small groups, intensive retreats
, large group seminars, and mymission is to elevate people,
elevate consciousness and helppeople.
I don't really coach people, Iuncoach people.
(00:52):
I uncondition people from thepatterns and the programmings
that have blocked them from, Iwould say, achieving and
expressing their full potential.
And so this is what I do andit's my mission, it's my passion
.
Inc Magazine has called me themindfulness guru that
(01:12):
billionaires go to for advice,because there's several folks on
that level I've worked with andthey found out.
And so for me it's a callingand a privilege to serve people,
because I feel like when Iserve people, they connect more
to who they are, truly, theirauthentic nature.
They can take that andinfluence the world and
(01:46):
transform the planets, becausethe average person spends 9, 10,
12 hours a day in a businessworking and that is, most of the
time, more time in a businessthan with their families.
And so I really believe that ifbusiness owners elevate and
transform, create atransformational culture, then
(02:09):
the employees, the team, thepeople in the business will also
expand and elevate, and so I'mvery passionate about that I
love about small business owners.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
We're very empathetic , we're compassionate about what
we do, who we serve, and themore we can impact people, the
better the world will be.
So this is going to be a greatepisode.
I ask everyone to buckle up.
We're going to introduce theshow real quick and we'll be
right back.
Welcome to Small BusinessPivots, a podcast produced for
small business owners.
I'm your host, Michael Morrison, founder and CEO of BOSS, where
(02:46):
we make business ownershipsimplified for success.
Our business is helping yoursgrow.
Boss offers business loans withbusiness coaching support.
Apply in minutes and getapproved and funded in as little
as 24 to 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
(03:08):
All right, welcome back toSmall Business Pivots.
My friend, is there aparticular place?
You want to just get after itand get started?
I know you've got a lot to talkabout.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Go wherever you want.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Okay, Well, I know for most small business owners
mindset.
I just don't even have wordsfor it, because many of us were
stuck in our old habits, trials,tribulations, maybe growing up,
maybe we weren't good enough,we're not confident enough.
I know this is about our 85thor 90th somewhere around there
(03:44):
episode and I talked to so manysmall business owners and they
just their self-worth is lacking.
So imagine if we could takethat to the next level, the
impact they could have.
So let's get started there.
How do we get past our past?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, often in terms of self-worth, like I think we,
we all have those things I don'tfeel enough, imposter syndrome,
am I worthy, am I valuable, canI do it?
Self-doubt.
And many of us don't realizethat we have made up false,
illusionary, delusional storiesabout ourselves I'm unworthy,
(04:24):
I'm unlovable, I'm not enough,et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
And we've made up those storiesbased on certain events and
experiences that happened to usas children, and as children we
weren't fully formed, we weren'tfully developed, we weren't
fully mature, so we weren't ableto truly discern the true, real
(04:47):
meaning of what events meant.
Maybe mom left, or dadabandoned us, or, you know,
there was a divorce, and so,often, based on a limited
understanding and perspective,we made up a certain meaning
about what that meant Mom left,so I'm not enough and I'm
unworthy, or dad beat me, sothat means I'm unlovable and I'm
(05:09):
not worthy and I'm a piece ofyou know what.
And so we made up a story aboutourselves, we ingrained that
story and what ends up happeningis, as we attach to that story,
we believe that story, thinkingthat story is reality, and we
end up living our lives throughthe limited prism of that story
(05:30):
and then everything that we endup doing throughout the rest of
our lives is often an attempt toreinforce the reality of that
story.
And so then we go through lifeand we just don't feel enough
and we don't feel worthy.
And no matter what we achievein the world, no matter how much
we attain and achieve inbusiness, we still don't feel
(05:50):
enough deep down inside.
And so what I have found isnothing will make you feel
enough if you don't feel enoughinside.
You will never truly feelenough.
No external success, noexternal validation, no
accolades, no awards, no amountin your bank account will make
you feel enough if you don'tfeel that within.
It's an inside job.
(06:11):
And so you know, when we werejust another sort of side pivot
into the conversation, when wewere born.
If we go back to that moment,some of us most of us probably
don't remember.
But you look at a child, right,there's a freedom, there's a
light in their eyes, there's abeauty that shines from them.
(06:34):
They will jump on a table andsing and dance.
I have a 21-month-old and hejust dances.
He doesn't care what peoplethink.
He not thinking no, I'm notenough.
Yeah, I'm not enough.
Michael, I'm not enough.
I don't know what I'm doing?
I'm not sure.
He's just being what he's beingand radiating love, and so what
the hell happened to us?
You know, we were all like thatonce.
(06:58):
We were all like that innocentand alive and vibrant and full
of possibilities, fearless, likemy little kid will just jump
off the table if I let him.
He doesn't have any fear.
Can I do it?
Can I make it?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
He doesn't ask, does he?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He doesn't ask right, until we start getting
conditioned right.
Oh, don't do that, you can't dothat.
And so the conditioning processstarts.
And I think, as business ownerseven though I'm not speaking
business I'm speaking the sortof internal psychology of things
, because if you understand that, you'll see how it affects your
business and how it affects theexpression of whether you
(07:36):
fulfill your potential or not,because so much of business is
an inner game how you feel aboutyourself and how you feel about
yourself is going to determinethe actions you take.
Because if you don't feel youcan do it and you don't feel
enough and you don't feelconfident, you won't take the
actions that you know you arehere to take.
You won't take the actions thatyou know you're meant to take.
(07:56):
You'll be sabotaging yourselfor you're going to be
procrastinating, not because youcan't, but because of this
internal conditioning.
So we're born free.
There's the nutshell.
Then we meet our parents.
God bless them.
They're doing the best thatthey know how to do, based on
their childhood and theirprogramming and their upbringing
and their pain and theirtraumas.
And so most of us hadchallenges growing up.
(08:19):
Maybe dad was crazy or mom wasan alcoholic or dysfunctional.
You know relationship betweenour parents.
So maybe, dad, there wasdivorce, maybe they were great
people, but they just didn'tknow how to meet our emotional
needs and that was painful.
And so two things happened wherethe conditioning process begins
.
The first thing is we learn allsorts of strategies to shut
(08:41):
down, disconnect and not feel,because it's too painful to see
mom and dad screaming, it's toopainful to feel like my
emotional needs aren't being met.
And so, rather than feel thatwe shut down, suppress,
disconnect and not feel.
And layers and layers andlayers and layers of unfelt pain
, hurt, resentment, shame, guilt, build up, covering up our true
(09:05):
light, our true essence, ourtrue nature and our potential,
our true heart, our true powergets hidden underneath the
mountains of unfelt, undealtwith feelings, which is why many
of us, we end up feelingunhappy, we end up feeling
depressed, because we'vesuppressed so many feelings that
(09:28):
it's built up and so now wedon't feel joy and aliveness and
focus and vitality.
The other thing is we learn allsorts of strategies.
Who do I need to be in order toget love, validation and
approval?
Oh, when I do this, daddy lovesme.
Or when I get all A's that heloves me.
And so often the way, whatwe've been taught is a very
(09:50):
conditional relationship withlove.
Oh, love is something that Ihave to do something in order to
get.
So you mean, oh, I'm not justlovable as I am, but when I
achieve all A's, oh I'm lovable.
Lovable as I am.
But when I achieve all eight,oh I'm lovable.
When I get the trophy, then I'mlovable.
And so, even if we're nottaught this, it sets up a
(10:12):
conditional relationship.
So now we're conditional withourselves.
So now, when I do X Y Z orachieve X Y Z, then I'm lovable,
right?
So that's what sometimes keepsus stuck.
And so we develop a role, a mask, a persona.
We become who we think we needto be in order to get love,
validation, approval.
We become the funny guy, thenice guy, the responsible one,
(10:34):
the caretaker, the shy person,and we think that is who we are.
And often we don't realize thatthe version of ourselves that
we have become is not who wereally are.
It's just a conditioned versionof who we think we are.
It's not who we really are,it's just a condition.
(10:56):
We've become conditioned, andthe degree to which we are
conditioned is the degree towhich we are not free.
And so now, most of us, we'rewalking through life in a prison
of our persona.
Just, you know, we develop thepersona and the roles to
function and survive the degreeto which we're identified with
(11:19):
who we've become.
That is ego.
And the job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt
and to reinforce your existence.
And so now we go through lifein this limited way of being.
We can't fully open our heartsand express because we might get
hurt again and we don't want toget hurt again.
And we can't be fully expressedbecause if I am who I am, then
(11:42):
maybe mom and dad won't love me,maybe the world won't love me,
and so many of us, we havedisconnected ourselves from
ourselves and our trueexpression, our true power, our
true potential because of thingsthat happened, and we're not
even aware that we are living ina state of survival.
(12:03):
It's survival that we're livingin versus truly thriving and
being ourselves.
And so then we go into ourbusiness and we try to launch
and we try to express, butsomething holds us back.
We know what to do, we knowwhat not to do, we have the
information, we have theknowledge, but this internal
(12:25):
thing holds us back.
And so I think we have torealize the connection with the
outer performance and theinternal reality.
I think when we can healourselves and transform
ourselves and let go of pain,then we free ourselves up to
move forward, know even thingslike self-sabotage, right.
(12:47):
Why do we sabotage ourselves?
Like any business ownerssabotage themselves, right.
Why do we sabotage us?
It's it's yeah, you candiscipline yourself.
Yes, you can motivate yourself.
What we often do is beatourselves up, but that just
makes it worse.
What we don't realize is often,when we sabotage ourselves,
it's really a part of us that isprotecting ourselves.
(13:08):
Why do we procrastinate?
Because we're protect, it's aform of self-protection, because
this way we don't put ourselvesout there and risk
disappointment and riskrejection.
So if I just don't do it, thenI don't have to risk the
disappointment and the rejectionof being hurt.
We're trying to protectourselves from being hurt, like
(13:28):
I was hurt when I was 5, 10, 15,you know, whatever the age was,
and so so much of success isthe inner game and the inner
state of being.
So I think when we canrecognize this and work with
ourselves, then we're going to,we can learn how to be more
(13:49):
compassionate and loving withourselves.
And I think, when we can learnhow to be compassionate and
loving with ourselves as humans,because you might be a CEO, you
might be an entrepreneur, youmight be a big shot, you might
be whatever you know a CFO, apresident, but at the core, you
are still a human being withfeelings, with insecurities,
(14:11):
with questions, with pain, withdesires, with fears, and I think
when we can learn how to managethose fears and the internal
dimension of things, it willfree you up to be more powerful
as a business person, as anentrepreneur, as a leader, as a
CEO in the world and give yourgift to the world on a whole
(14:34):
bigger level.
This is what I would say.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Your website starts with release your past, which
we've talked about.
Reclaim your power, and Imentioned to someone just the
other day about it's interestinghow you were sharing the story
of your child and how he'sfearless.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Until you tell him don't do this, don't do that,
don't do that.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Careful, be careful, be careful, that's dangerous,
that's not OK, don't speak tothat group of people.
See, we have been conditionedand programmed by parents maybe
well-intended parents,educational and for positive and
negative, by the way, right,you know educational systems,
(15:18):
college, university, ourteachers, music media, social
media.
Now they've programmed us incertain ways, good and bad, and
and based on that, like if Ikeep telling my son, be careful,
be careful, be careful, and ifI live in fear or scarcity or
afraid, then he's going to pickup those tendencies, he's going
(15:41):
to absorb that.
If I'm like, oh, look out, bedangerous, don't speak to that
group of people, don't speak tothis group of people, don't
speak to that, don't go here,the world's a dangerous place,
then we pick up this programmingand we're not even aware.
And so I think we all have tobe willing to question, if we
want to be free, who am I?
Who am I truly?
Am I who I really am?
(16:02):
Is this who I really am?
Is this what I really believe?
Or is there more?
And I think the more courage wehave to question ourselves, the
more we can free ourselves tolet go and release the past and
release the programming.
But in so many ways we have beenprogrammed and we don't even
know that we're programmed.
And once we become aware thatwe're programmed, then we have
(16:24):
to have the courage to questionthe programming and release the
programming so that we can findour own deeper truth.
To return back to the innocenceof being a child.
Right, you must be like a child, because they are free, they
are innocent, they are alive,they run up to you Like if Pablo
Escobar walked in the room.
They wouldn't really have aresponse, they wouldn't know,
(16:47):
necessarily, because theyhaven't been told.
Oh, this is what it means andthis is what it doesn't mean,
and this is what it means andthis is what it doesn't mean,
and this is what that means, andthis is what we've not been
told.
And so I think if we can learnto start letting go of our
conditioning throughself-awareness and having the
courage to question ourselves,then we can start freeing
(17:07):
ourselves again and returningback to our true essence, our
authentic nature, which is free,which is loving, which is bold,
which is authentic.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I find a lot of the younger generation and probably
myself.
When I was getting out of thehouse.
My son brought this to myattention just not too long ago,
because we do try to protectthem.
We try to yes and no.
But then when he startedadulting he was like Dad, I
don't know what to do.
And I said, son, that's kind offunny, you say that because
(17:41):
when you were 17, 18, youcouldn't wait to get out of this
house because I'm going to rulethe world, I can do this.
And now you're out of the houseand you need instruction,
because you're so conditioned tonot do anything on your own
unless someone gives youpermission or says this is what
you should do.
And I think a lot of people arelike that, yeah, from the
moment we're born.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh, believe this, think this way, act this way,
talk this way.
This is who you are.
This is who we are as a family.
This is what you believe.
This is what we believe.
This is who we are as a family.
This is what you believe.
This is where we believe.
This is what church believes.
Oh, go to school, memorize thesefacts, act this way, walk this
way.
Okay, and that gets reinforced.
So even in school.
You know, when you get verygood at following the rules and
(18:26):
memorizing the facts, you getrewarded with good grades.
That's how I was.
I just memorized a bunch offacts and became a version of
what the system wanted me to be.
But so much of the world.
The system, the way it's set up, is not designed to help you be
free.
Free what I mean by free?
I'm not talking about likeanarchy, you'll do whatever you
(18:48):
want.
By free, I mean being who youreally are Like.
Who are you really?
We're conditioned andprogrammed with beliefs and
ideas that have been passed downto us from people, but not
really saying hey, who are youreally Like?
What's your truth?
Go inside, look inside,question inside, because true
(19:10):
wisdom, you know.
Look inside, question inside,because true wisdom you know the
whole quote know thyself, right.
True wisdom is to know yourself.
But, if I can be honest, I thinkso much of our society and our
culture has an investment in younot you and I not knowing who
we really are.
Because if we know who wereally are, we would be so
(19:33):
powerful.
We would be so powerful.
So you look at advertisers,advertisers.
Don't shop retail.
They're not here to free youbecause you switch on the TV.
We're constantly beingbombarded with advertising and
images and there's a war for ourattention, constantly
distracted, and in some way,shape or form we are brainwashed
(19:53):
to believe the hypnoticconditioning of you're not
enough.
I mean, that's the bottom lineof what they're saying.
You're not enough.
But if you just use thisproduct right and buy this
product and here it is, thenthose wrinkles will be gone and
he's going to love you.
Just wear this underwear andyou're going to be lovable.
(20:15):
And so so much of society hasan investment in you not knowing
who you are, because then youcould be sold and controlled and
manipulated.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is how powerful we
really are.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is how powerful we
really are.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is that we are a
(20:37):
spark of the divine, that we area spark of the infinite, we are
children of God.
There's something inside of usthat is beyond this human,
physical, limited body, as asoul, as an energy, as a being,
as a child of God, whatever youwant to believe but there's
something beyond just thislimited human ego structure that
(20:59):
is born and then will die, andso I think I don't that's a
strong word to say there's aconspiracy, but I say that
tongue in cheek.
You know, there's a conspiracyto distract us from our own true
selves, because if we can bedistracted, then we can live.
Not prey on people'sinsecurities and fears, but find
(21:36):
ways to empower them.
Because advertising, modern-dayadvertising, is all about.
You're not enough, but just buythis thing.
You're not enough.
But if you just drive this car,wow, I mean, a Rolls-Royce gets
you to the same place as aToyota, but no, it's the
(21:58):
prestige.
It's preying on our sense ofinadequacy and insecurity in so
many ways.
And so the more we know who weare, the more free we are, the
more powerful we are, the moreimpact we can have, and this is
what I would say, and as ifyou're a leader you're listening
(22:20):
to small business pivots.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
This podcast is produced by my company boss.
Our business is helping yoursgrow.
Boss offers business loans withbusiness coaching support.
Apply in minutes and getapproved and funded in as little
as 24 to 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
If you're enjoying this podcast, don't forget to hit the
(22:44):
subscribe button and share it aswell.
Now let's get back to ourspecial guest, to our special
guest.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And this is what I would say.
And as if you're a leader, aCEO, entrepreneur, leader I'm
sure everyone listening in theirown way is not everybody will
love you, not everybody willlike you.
It's just the way of things.
If you're running a company,not everyone's going to like you
(23:12):
, and it's okay.
But if you're spending yourentire life and time because
maybe you don't feel enough andlovable trying to get everybody
to love you, trying to geteverybody on your team to love
you, trying to get everyemployee to love you, you're not
going to be very effective.
And so leadership is not apopularity game, right, it is
(23:32):
about being authentic and aboutliving in integrity and the
truth.
And so what we have to learn isto as leaders.
If you want to be effective,you must unplug yourself from
number one, people's negativeopinions about you.
You must unplug yourself frompeople's negative opinions about
you.
Number two, you must unplugyourself from people's negative
(23:52):
opinions about you.
Number two, you must unplugyourself from people's positive
opinions about you, because thenyou're free.
You're not trying to get peopleto love you, you're not
reacting to people's negativeopinions about you.
That's the true freedom.
If you're a CEO of a company.
Some are going to love you,some are going to hate you.
You're president of the UnitedStates of America, some are
going to love you, some aregoing to hate you.
(24:13):
You're president of the UnitedStates of America, some are
going to love you, some aregoing to hate you.
It's just the nature of thegame.
I would say, as a leader, as abusiness owner, as a CEO, if
everybody loves you all the time, probably you're doing
something wrong because you willhave to make some tough
decisions and some tough callsfor the benefit of the company
(24:33):
or the greater good of all, andin the short term, people may
not like that.
As a parent, right, your kidsaren't going to love you all the
time when you say no, but youknow you need to say no because
it doesn't serve that12-year-old to go to the
nightclub, right, it justdoesn't.
It doesn't serve that8-year-old to eat five tubs of
(24:55):
Haagen-Dazs, you know.
And so to really be aneffective leader, as a business
person, as an entrepreneur, isto know who you are and to tap
into your truth and be able tolive that.
That's the power and that's thefreedom and that's the real
connection.
(25:15):
And I think you can't do thatif you don't deal with your
insights, because if you didn'tget love as a child and now you
spend your whole life seekinglove and validation, then how do
you truly lead and how do youtruly serve your community, your
employees, the company, theshareholders?
You can't, because you'realways going to be caving and
(25:36):
catering to what people want andwhat people don't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
What's a bit of advice?
Because, following yourstatements on your website,
release your past, reclaim yourpower.
Next is realize your dreamswhen you've been boxed in.
I think a lot of us were boxedin.
You're only this good, richardBranson says.
I think one of his teacherssaid you're either going to be
in prison or something like that.
(26:03):
But he got past that.
But a lot of us are boxed inright Limited belief.
How do you realize your dreamswhen that just seems impossible,
like I'm always going to be?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
this?
I think you have to.
Yes, you have to be willing toquestion your beliefs, and most
of us do not question ourbeliefs.
Well, I'm unlovable, I'm notenough, I can't do that.
And beliefs arise from ourexperiences.
Which beliefs arise from ourexperiences and the
(26:37):
interpretation that we made, orthe meaning that we made those
experiences become.
So X happened and we made thatmean something.
Y happened and we made thatmean something about ourselves.
Dad left, I'm not enough, mombeat me.
I'm unlovable, I'm unworthy,I'm worthless, right.
(27:01):
And so we hold on to thosebeliefs for a sense of identity,
safety, comfort,self-preservation.
Those beliefs are not real.
Those beliefs are not facts.
Those beliefs areinterpretations that you made up
(27:23):
to try to make sense of theworld.
The challenge is, we hold ontothose beliefs so tightly that
those beliefs become who wethink we are.
That is ego.
So the reason it's so hard tolet go of those beliefs is
because we believe ourselves tobe this version of ourselves.
(27:44):
We really believe ourselves tobe the ego, and the ego doesn't
want to change.
The job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt,
and the job of the ego doesn'twant to change.
The job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt,
and the job of the ego is toreinforce its existence.
So, to question the ego is toquestion your beliefs.
To question your beliefs feelslike a death because we believe
ourselves to be those beliefs.
(28:06):
And so if you can realize, oh, Iam not my beliefs, do you mean
I'm not my beliefs?
Well, are there certain thingsthat you believe now that you
didn't believe when you were 10?
Are there certain things thatyou believed when you were 10?
You were so sure about when youwere 12, 15.
But with life and wisdom yourealized oh, that's not true
(28:31):
anymore.
But you were so sure at age 20,the way the world was.
But maybe at age 30 or 40, yourealize, huh, that's not fact.
So many of us were operatingthrough life as though fiction
is fact.
Well, the truth is, we have toquestion our beliefs and ask is
(28:51):
this true, is this real, is thisfact or is it fiction?
And when you believe thefiction as though fact, it
becomes a reality unto you.
So we have to be willing toquestion is this fact, is this
fiction, is this real?
Is this not what's true?
And to have the courage toquestion yourself, to let go of
(29:13):
your beliefs.
That is surrender, that isreleasing, that is a let go,
that is a death, I would say.
Then you can find yourself andyou, if you're willing to
question but most of us are notwilling to question because it
starts shaking the very fabricand foundation of who we think
we are, and that can be a bitscary, but that's what we must
be willing to do, otherwise youend up, yes, living boxed in by
your beliefs.
(29:33):
But you see, any real goal, anytrue goal, any real goal, will
force you.
You set a goal.
You have a vision, an inspiredgoal.
If it's real and worthy, itwill be outside of your current
identity.
It will force you to grow, itwill force you to be who you've
(29:59):
never been before.
It will force you to expand,which will mean you cannot
achieve that goal.
Being the version of yourselfthat you were, you cannot
achieve the next level of yourlife.
Being who you've been cannotachieve the next level of your
life.
Being who you've been before,the next level of your life will
require the next level of you,which will require that you let
(30:20):
go of who you were.
And so, when you're trying tomanifest a goal or a dream and
desire.
If you're here and it's here itwill force you on a journey, a
journey to confront and facethose limiting beliefs and ideas
about yourself, because thoseare the things that have gotten
you here, but those beliefs willnot be the things that get you
(30:43):
here, and that's what you willhave to let go of and release
and sort of surrender, andthat's the process of evolution
in personal growth so that youcan become the person that is
capable of fulfilling the dreamand the vision.
You have to become the personand most of us don't achieve it
(31:05):
because we don't become theperson, because we don't let go
of those beliefs.
Beliefs are not who you are,they're just what you believe.
And beliefs change and we'vemade up stories about ourselves
based on certain experiencesthat happen, that seem real but
it's not real.
But what you must recognize isif you made up the story, then
(31:30):
you can unmake the story.
If you made it up, you can makeup another story, but you have
to be willing to question.
That's powerful, I would askpeople to ask themselves when
you look at your goal, okay, wow, it's outside of my comfort
zone.
I don't know how I'm going todo it.
You're not meant to know howyou're going to do it.
(31:51):
If knew how you were going todo it, it wouldn't be a true
goal.
Yeah, you might as well justwalk from your living room to
your to your bedroom.
That doesn't take any anything.
There's no growth there, and soyou have to ask yourself who do
I need to be?
Who do I need to be in order toachieve that goal?
Who do I need to become?
Who do I need to be in order toachieve that goal?
Who do I need to become?
Who do I need to be and get asense of who that is, so that
(32:14):
you can then step into that andremove the limitations that
prevent you from stepping intothat version of yourself.
That's the growth.
So the goal will take you on ajourney of becoming that person
that is able of fulfilling thatdream and that goal and the
vision.
There's the growth.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Kind of aligns with that old business saying of what
got you here won't get youthere.
You know, simple as that youknow it's the same thing.
Well, you've got a couple ofpopular books out there.
You want to share a little bitabout those.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, look, you Are the One.
And the Magic of Surrender.
Tell me what you want to know,because I could speak for days.
How?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
can they help?
How are they different?
How can they help?
How does one book help a person?
Yeah, the first book.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
In a nutshell, I'll focus on the second book, but
the first book is all about youAre the One.
It's about finding your purposein life and the concepts I'm
teaching about how do youuncondition yourself.
The second book is called theMagic of Surrender, which is all
about how to surrender, becausewe have so many, shall we say,
misconceptions about the wordsurrender today, especially as
(33:26):
business owners.
Oh, surrender is giving up,surrender is weak, surrender is
waving the white flag.
Surrender means I won'tmanifest my goals and dreams and
desires.
Surrender means I'll get lessin life.
And I'm actually saying that no, if you surrender, what if you
didn't get less in life?
What if you got more?
More than you could haveimagined, more than you could
(33:47):
have thought, more than youcould have imagined with the
limitation of your mind?
And so surrender is a lettinggo of control, letting go of who
you think you are, how youthink your life should look, who
you think you should be, sothat you can feel and align with
(34:11):
who you're really seeking tobecome, more than anything.
If you look at any of the greatones Jesus, bruce Lee who's a
childhood hero of mine, muhammadAli Mandela, martin Luther King
in their own way.
They all surrendered.
Okay, let's take it out of thebooboo realm, let's take it to
(34:32):
business, right?
Love them or hate them, folks,don't kill me for this.
Elon Musk, jeff Bezos, richardBranson they all, in their own
way, surrendered, oh yeah.
Well, let's look at Elon Musk.
He's kind of getting rightthrough the coals these days,
but if we look at it right,here's a guy who made about 200
(34:56):
million in PayPal money, spacex,tesla, this dude and you don't
have to like him as a person,but this dude invested 200
million of his 200 million intothis next venture because he got
(35:19):
the calling.
That is surrender.
He went all in on what he feltwas true.
Jeff Bezos didn't make money inAmazon for what Decades?
But he believed, he believed,he believed and he went all in.
That is surrender.
(35:40):
They offered Zuckerberg, Ithink Google or one of these
companies Microsoft maybeoffered Mark Zuckerberg a
billion dollars for Facebook inthe early stages.
No, that is surrender.
Surrender.
At some point when you surrender, you're going all in on your
vision.
(36:00):
So when you look at the greatones back to Jesus Bruce Lee,
muhammad Ali Gandhi, motherTeresa at some point they all
surrendered themselves.
Okay, life, I'm ready, the lifethat they ended up living may
not have been the life that theythought they were going to live
, but when they surrenderedthemselves to the life that was
(36:21):
seeking to happen and seeking toexpress, then they were able to
tap into another dimension ofpossibility, infinite potential
that they were able to be usedby life.
And I think that's when themagic happens, that's when the
blessings happen.
We all want magic in our lives,don't we?
(36:42):
But we don't want to surrender,and surrender is a letting go
of what is no longer working,what is no longer alive.
And so most of us, as I said,the next level of your life
requires the next level of you,but most of us, we don't want to
let go of the old.
We hold on, but not realizingthat holding on to what is no
longer working simply blocksyour blessing.
(37:04):
It blocks your blessing, and soletting go makes space and
makes room for the more, andthat's when the blessings happen
.
And so, as an entrepreneur,here's what I would ask you what
is it you're holding on to oryou're doing in your business
that is no longer working foryou, that you know is not
(37:26):
working?
That's question number one.
As a business owner, I'd askyou question number two.
Here's the trickier questionwhat is it that you're doing?
That you're doing that isworking.
It's working, but doing more ofit is actually stifling and
inhibiting.
The next level is actuallystifling and inhibiting the next
(37:50):
level, the next level of yourgrowth as a human, as a business
, as a company.
You could just keep doing itforever, but you won't scale and
you won't grow, and so really,it takes letting go, it takes
expanding, it sometimes takes aletting go of the good so that
(38:12):
we can tap into the great, andthat's what I would invite
people to think about.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Well, and for those listeners that consistently say,
well, these people we'retalking about had a better life.
I'm only going to address twoof them Jesus and Elon Musk.
I want everyone to researchtheir childhood.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
They did not live a glorious life, so they had to
get over things, they had tosurrender, they had to do some
things to overcome that.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Elon Musk is a perfect example.
He didn't come from anything,so I want you to.
We could talk all day long.
This is so good, but I knowthere's a lot of people that
probably want to learn more on aconsistent basis.
Where can they find you?
How do you coach?
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Look, I have a podcast.
It's called Soul Talk 400episodes.
Check it out.
Soul Talk, spotify, apple.
My main website, I would say fornow, is the simplest way
K-U-T-E, cootbl, blacksoncom.
I'm sure the link will be inthe show notes.
You can find out about myevents, about my seminars.
(39:15):
For the last 20 years I'veworked with people one-on-one.
That's how I started workingwith people one-on-one and
entrepreneurs and businessowners, but not with the
business, with the inner game,so to speak.
I don't work with clients somuch one-on-one these days, but
many seminars, retreats in Baliand India.
If you want to find out moreabout my seminars and my events,
(39:38):
go to my website, kubelaxsoncom.
There you can also enter yourname and your email to get on my
list and you'll receive a freethree-part video training series
on how to find your purpose,and so you can check that out as
well.
What else?
My book, the Magic of Surrender, my other book, you Are the One
.
Check those two books out.
(39:58):
Instagram I'm always postingconstant on Instagram Coop,
blackson, k-u-t-e, but mostly itwould be a joy to support
anyone that was ready to go tothe next level of their lives,
and the best way is come to oneof my events.
Come to one of my retreatsaround the world and I promise
you, magic will start happening.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Yeah, I can back that up.
You have a lot of good, greatstuff out there.
I always end our show with onelast question, and that is if
you were in a room full ofbusiness owners different
industries, different sizes ofbusiness what's one last thing
you could offer of encouragement?
It could be a quote, someinsights that would be
(40:41):
applicable to all of them, nomatter what season of life or
business they're in.
Just some general insights.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
This might not be what you're expecting, but I'm
going to say it you are going todie.
Feel that you are going to die.
There is no avoiding it.
It's the only guarantee fromthe moment you're born.
(41:12):
Bill Gates, elon Musk, jeffBezos, sergey Brin, larry Page,
the greatest business owners inthe world, larry Ellison the
list goes on.
Richard Brent, you will die Ifyou can hold death close.
(41:36):
Make death your friend, feel it,breathe into it, not as some
morbid thing, ooh no but as anurgent inspiration to live life.
Then you realize how preciousthis moment is, how precious
every second is.
And so, if you find yourself infear, should I do this?
(41:57):
Should I not do this?
If you find yourselfprocrastinating, should I do
this?
Should I not do this?
Feel your death If these wereyour last moments, if today was
your last day.
Is this how you want to die?
Just sitting there in fear?
Is this how you want to die?
Just procrastinating your dayaway?
Feel it, because when you feelyour death, it puts a real,
(42:18):
sobering reality check to howprecious every second is.
Tomorrow is not a right givenby God.
Tomorrow is a privilege if weare blessed to receive it.
And so I would say, when wemeet our maker.
Whatever you believe, you cannotgo to God, say, hey God, can I
(42:39):
get a refund on those five yearsI wasted at work in my business
because I just was afraid?
Can I get a refund on those 10years I did the thing I hated?
Can I get a refund on thosethree years in my relationship
that I was not present?
Can I get a refund on those 10years I wasn't present with my
child?
Once that time is gone, it isgone forever.
(43:02):
There are no refunds in thislife.
So how would you need to liveyour life in such a way that you
had absolutely zero regrets?
This is what I would leave youwith today, and if you really
feel your death, I promise youit will transform how you do
(43:23):
your business.
For some of you, you might evenleave your business.
For some of you, you might sellyour business.
For some of you, you mightchange your business.
And For some of you, you mightsell your business.
For some of you, you mightchange your business and pivot
and do something else.
Because if God came down andtold you the exact date and the
exact time of your death on apiece of paper like a card,
(43:43):
expiry card and said this iswhen you're going.
Would that change how you'reliving now?
If it would if it would makethose changes and don't waste
time.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
You've been a blessing to many and a wealth of
information.
I appreciate you, my friend,and I wish you continued success
.
Thanks again.
Thank you for listening toSmall Business Pivots.
(44:22):
This podcast is created andproduced by my company.
Thanks again, 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
If you're enjoying this podcast, don't forget to hit the
subscribe button and share it aswell.
If you need help growing yourbusiness, email me at michael at
michaeldmorrisoncom.
We'll see you next time onSmall Business Pivots.
All right, welcome to another Small Business, pivots,
and we have another specialguest from around the world, not
too far from our headquartersin Oklahoma City, and I know
that no one can introducethemselves and their business
like the business owner, so I'mgoing to let you introduce
yourself, tell us a little bitabout you and some accolades and
how we're going to help ourguests today today, wow Blackson
(00:23):
, here, nationally bestselling,author of two books the Magic of
Surrender, and you Are the One.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
The last 20 plus years I've traveled the globe,
traveled the world, inspiring,enlightening, awakening,
transforming lives one-on-one,small groups, intensive retreats
, large group seminars, and mymission is to elevate people,
elevate consciousness and helppeople.
I don't really coach people, Iuncoach people.
(00:52):
I uncondition people from thepatterns and the programmings
that have blocked them from, Iwould say, achieving and
expressing their full potential.
And so this is what I do andit's my mission, it's my passion
.
Inc Magazine has called me themindfulness guru that
(01:12):
billionaires go to for advice,because there's several folks on
that level I've worked with andthey found out.
And so for me it's a callingand a privilege to serve people,
because I feel like when Iserve people, they connect more
to who they are, truly, theirauthentic nature.
They can take that andinfluence the world and
(01:46):
transform the planets, becausethe average person spends 9, 10,
12 hours a day in a businessworking and that is, most of the
time, more time in a businessthan with their families.
And so I really believe that ifbusiness owners elevate and
transform, create atransformational culture, then
(02:09):
the employees, the team, thepeople in the business will also
expand and elevate, and so I'mvery passionate about that I
love about small business owners.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
We're very empathetic , we're compassionate about what
we do, who we serve, and themore we can impact people, the
better the world will be.
So this is going to be a greatepisode.
I ask everyone to buckle up.
We're going to introduce theshow real quick and we'll be
right back.
Welcome to Small BusinessPivots, a podcast produced for
small business owners.
I'm your host, Michael Morrison, founder and CEO of BOSS, where
(02:46):
we make business ownershipsimplified for success.
Our business is helping yoursgrow.
Boss offers business loans withbusiness coaching support.
Apply in minutes and getapproved and funded in as little
as 24 to 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
(03:08):
All right, welcome back toSmall Business Pivots.
My friend, is there aparticular place?
You want to just get after itand get started?
I know you've got a lot to talkabout.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Go wherever you want.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Okay, Well, I know for most small business owners
mindset.
I just don't even have wordsfor it, because many of us were
stuck in our old habits, trials,tribulations, maybe growing up,
maybe we weren't good enough,we're not confident enough.
I know this is about our 85thor 90th somewhere around there
(03:44):
episode and I talked to so manysmall business owners and they
just their self-worth is lacking.
So imagine if we could takethat to the next level, the
impact they could have.
So let's get started there.
How do we get past our past?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, often in terms of self-worth, like I think we,
we all have those things I don'tfeel enough, imposter syndrome,
am I worthy, am I valuable, canI do it?
Self-doubt.
And many of us don't realizethat we have made up false,
illusionary, delusional storiesabout ourselves I'm unworthy,
(04:24):
I'm unlovable, I'm not enough,et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
And we've made up those storiesbased on certain events and
experiences that happened to usas children, and as children we
weren't fully formed, we weren'tfully developed, we weren't
fully mature, so we weren't ableto truly discern the true, real
(04:47):
meaning of what events meant.
Maybe mom left, or dadabandoned us, or, you know,
there was a divorce, and so,often, based on a limited
understanding and perspective,we made up a certain meaning
about what that meant Mom left,so I'm not enough and I'm
unworthy, or dad beat me, sothat means I'm unlovable and I'm
(05:09):
not worthy and I'm a piece ofyou know what.
And so we made up a story aboutourselves, we ingrained that
story and what ends up happeningis, as we attach to that story,
we believe that story, thinkingthat story is reality, and we
end up living our lives throughthe limited prism of that story
(05:30):
and then everything that we endup doing throughout the rest of
our lives is often an attempt toreinforce the reality of that
story.
And so then we go through lifeand we just don't feel enough
and we don't feel worthy.
And no matter what we achievein the world, no matter how much
we attain and achieve inbusiness, we still don't feel
(05:50):
enough deep down inside.
And so what I have found isnothing will make you feel
enough if you don't feel enoughinside.
You will never truly feelenough.
No external success, noexternal validation, no
accolades, no awards, no amountin your bank account will make
you feel enough if you don'tfeel that within.
It's an inside job.
(06:11):
And so you know, when we werejust another sort of side pivot
into the conversation, when wewere born.
If we go back to that moment,some of us most of us probably
don't remember.
But you look at a child, right,there's a freedom, there's a
light in their eyes, there's abeauty that shines from them.
(06:34):
They will jump on a table andsing and dance.
I have a 21-month-old and hejust dances.
He doesn't care what peoplethink.
He not thinking no, I'm notenough.
Yeah, I'm not enough.
Michael, I'm not enough.
I don't know what I'm doing?
I'm not sure.
He's just being what he's beingand radiating love, and so what
the hell happened to us?
You know, we were all like thatonce.
(06:58):
We were all like that innocentand alive and vibrant and full
of possibilities, fearless, likemy little kid will just jump
off the table if I let him.
He doesn't have any fear.
Can I do it?
Can I make it?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
He doesn't ask, does he?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He doesn't ask right, until we start getting
conditioned right.
Oh, don't do that, you can't dothat.
And so the conditioning processstarts.
And I think, as business ownerseven though I'm not speaking
business I'm speaking the sortof internal psychology of things
, because if you understand that, you'll see how it affects your
business and how it affects theexpression of whether you
(07:36):
fulfill your potential or not,because so much of business is
an inner game how you feel aboutyourself and how you feel about
yourself is going to determinethe actions you take.
Because if you don't feel youcan do it and you don't feel
enough and you don't feelconfident, you won't take the
actions that you know you arehere to take.
You won't take the actions thatyou know you're meant to take.
(07:56):
You'll be sabotaging yourselfor you're going to be
procrastinating, not because youcan't, but because of this
internal conditioning.
So we're born free.
There's the nutshell.
Then we meet our parents.
God bless them.
They're doing the best thatthey know how to do, based on
their childhood and theirprogramming and their upbringing
and their pain and theirtraumas.
And so most of us hadchallenges growing up.
(08:19):
Maybe dad was crazy or mom wasan alcoholic or dysfunctional.
You know relationship betweenour parents.
So maybe, dad, there wasdivorce, maybe they were great
people, but they just didn'tknow how to meet our emotional
needs and that was painful.
And so two things happened wherethe conditioning process begins
.
The first thing is we learn allsorts of strategies to shut
(08:41):
down, disconnect and not feel,because it's too painful to see
mom and dad screaming, it's toopainful to feel like my
emotional needs aren't being met.
And so, rather than feel thatwe shut down, suppress,
disconnect and not feel.
And layers and layers andlayers and layers of unfelt pain
, hurt, resentment, shame, guilt, build up, covering up our true
(09:05):
light, our true essence, ourtrue nature and our potential,
our true heart, our true powergets hidden underneath the
mountains of unfelt, undealtwith feelings, which is why many
of us, we end up feelingunhappy, we end up feeling
depressed, because we'vesuppressed so many feelings that
(09:28):
it's built up and so now wedon't feel joy and aliveness and
focus and vitality.
The other thing is we learn allsorts of strategies.
Who do I need to be in order toget love, validation and
approval?
Oh, when I do this, daddy lovesme.
Or when I get all A's that heloves me.
And so often the way, whatwe've been taught is a very
(09:50):
conditional relationship withlove.
Oh, love is something that Ihave to do something in order to
get.
So you mean, oh, I'm not justlovable as I am, but when I
achieve all A's, oh I'm lovable.
Lovable as I am.
But when I achieve all eight,oh I'm lovable.
When I get the trophy, then I'mlovable.
And so, even if we're nottaught this, it sets up a
(10:12):
conditional relationship.
So now we're conditional withourselves.
So now, when I do X Y Z orachieve X Y Z, then I'm lovable,
right?
So that's what sometimes keepsus stuck.
And so we develop a role, a mask, a persona.
We become who we think we needto be in order to get love,
validation, approval.
We become the funny guy, thenice guy, the responsible one,
(10:34):
the caretaker, the shy person,and we think that is who we are.
And often we don't realize thatthe version of ourselves that
we have become is not who wereally are.
It's just a conditioned versionof who we think we are.
It's not who we really are,it's just a condition.
(10:56):
We've become conditioned, andthe degree to which we are
conditioned is the degree towhich we are not free.
And so now, most of us, we'rewalking through life in a prison
of our persona.
Just, you know, we develop thepersona and the roles to
function and survive the degreeto which we're identified with
(11:19):
who we've become.
That is ego.
And the job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt
and to reinforce your existence.
And so now we go through lifein this limited way of being.
We can't fully open our heartsand express because we might get
hurt again and we don't want toget hurt again.
And we can't be fully expressedbecause if I am who I am, then
(11:42):
maybe mom and dad won't love me,maybe the world won't love me,
and so many of us, we havedisconnected ourselves from
ourselves and our trueexpression, our true power, our
true potential because of thingsthat happened, and we're not
even aware that we are living ina state of survival.
(12:03):
It's survival that we're livingin versus truly thriving and
being ourselves.
And so then we go into ourbusiness and we try to launch
and we try to express, butsomething holds us back.
We know what to do, we knowwhat not to do, we have the
information, we have theknowledge, but this internal
(12:25):
thing holds us back.
And so I think we have torealize the connection with the
outer performance and theinternal reality.
I think when we can healourselves and transform
ourselves and let go of pain,then we free ourselves up to
move forward, know even thingslike self-sabotage, right.
(12:47):
Why do we sabotage ourselves?
Like any business ownerssabotage themselves, right.
Why do we sabotage us?
It's it's yeah, you candiscipline yourself.
Yes, you can motivate yourself.
What we often do is beatourselves up, but that just
makes it worse.
What we don't realize is often,when we sabotage ourselves,
it's really a part of us that isprotecting ourselves.
(13:08):
Why do we procrastinate?
Because we're protect, it's aform of self-protection, because
this way we don't put ourselvesout there and risk
disappointment and riskrejection.
So if I just don't do it, thenI don't have to risk the
disappointment and the rejectionof being hurt.
We're trying to protectourselves from being hurt, like
(13:28):
I was hurt when I was 5, 10, 15,you know, whatever the age was,
and so so much of success isthe inner game and the inner
state of being.
So I think when we canrecognize this and work with
ourselves, then we're going to,we can learn how to be more
(13:49):
compassionate and loving withourselves.
And I think, when we can learnhow to be compassionate and
loving with ourselves as humans,because you might be a CEO, you
might be an entrepreneur, youmight be a big shot, you might
be whatever you know a CFO, apresident, but at the core, you
are still a human being withfeelings, with insecurities,
(14:11):
with questions, with pain, withdesires, with fears, and I think
when we can learn how to managethose fears and the internal
dimension of things, it willfree you up to be more powerful
as a business person, as anentrepreneur, as a leader, as a
CEO in the world and give yourgift to the world on a whole
(14:34):
bigger level.
This is what I would say.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Your website starts with release your past, which
we've talked about.
Reclaim your power, and Imentioned to someone just the
other day about it's interestinghow you were sharing the story
of your child and how he'sfearless.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Until you tell him don't do this, don't do that,
don't do that.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Careful, be careful, be careful, that's dangerous,
that's not OK, don't speak tothat group of people.
See, we have been conditionedand programmed by parents maybe
well-intended parents,educational and for positive and
negative, by the way, right,you know educational systems,
(15:18):
college, university, ourteachers, music media, social
media.
Now they've programmed us incertain ways, good and bad, and
and based on that, like if Ikeep telling my son, be careful,
be careful, be careful, and ifI live in fear or scarcity or
afraid, then he's going to pickup those tendencies, he's going
(15:41):
to absorb that.
If I'm like, oh, look out, bedangerous, don't speak to that
group of people, don't speak tothis group of people, don't
speak to that, don't go here,the world's a dangerous place,
then we pick up this programmingand we're not even aware.
And so I think we all have tobe willing to question, if we
want to be free, who am I?
Who am I truly?
Am I who I really am?
(16:02):
Is this who I really am?
Is this what I really believe?
Or is there more?
And I think the more courage wehave to question ourselves, the
more we can free ourselves tolet go and release the past and
release the programming.
But in so many ways we have beenprogrammed and we don't even
know that we're programmed.
And once we become aware thatwe're programmed, then we have
(16:24):
to have the courage to questionthe programming and release the
programming so that we can findour own deeper truth.
To return back to the innocenceof being a child.
Right, you must be like a child, because they are free, they
are innocent, they are alive,they run up to you Like if Pablo
Escobar walked in the room.
They wouldn't really have aresponse, they wouldn't know,
(16:47):
necessarily, because theyhaven't been told.
Oh, this is what it means andthis is what it doesn't mean,
and this is what it means andthis is what it doesn't mean,
and this is what that means, andthis is what we've not been
told.
And so I think if we can learnto start letting go of our
conditioning throughself-awareness and having the
courage to question ourselves,then we can start freeing
(17:07):
ourselves again and returningback to our true essence, our
authentic nature, which is free,which is loving, which is bold,
which is authentic.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I find a lot of the younger generation and probably
myself.
When I was getting out of thehouse.
My son brought this to myattention just not too long ago,
because we do try to protectthem.
We try to yes and no.
But then when he startedadulting he was like Dad, I
don't know what to do.
And I said, son, that's kind offunny, you say that because
(17:41):
when you were 17, 18, youcouldn't wait to get out of this
house because I'm going to rulethe world, I can do this.
And now you're out of the houseand you need instruction,
because you're so conditioned tonot do anything on your own
unless someone gives youpermission or says this is what
you should do.
And I think a lot of people arelike that, yeah, from the
moment we're born.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh, believe this, think this way, act this way,
talk this way.
This is who you are.
This is who we are as a family.
This is what you believe.
This is what we believe.
This is who we are as a family.
This is what you believe.
This is where we believe.
This is what church believes.
Oh, go to school, memorize thesefacts, act this way, walk this
way.
Okay, and that gets reinforced.
So even in school.
You know, when you get verygood at following the rules and
(18:26):
memorizing the facts, you getrewarded with good grades.
That's how I was.
I just memorized a bunch offacts and became a version of
what the system wanted me to be.
But so much of the world.
The system, the way it's set up, is not designed to help you be
free.
Free what I mean by free?
I'm not talking about likeanarchy, you'll do whatever you
(18:48):
want.
By free, I mean being who youreally are Like.
Who are you really?
We're conditioned andprogrammed with beliefs and
ideas that have been passed downto us from people, but not
really saying hey, who are youreally Like?
What's your truth?
Go inside, look inside,question inside, because true
(19:10):
wisdom, you know.
Look inside, question inside,because true wisdom you know the
whole quote know thyself, right.
True wisdom is to know yourself.
But, if I can be honest, I thinkso much of our society and our
culture has an investment in younot you and I not knowing who
we really are.
Because if we know who wereally are, we would be so
(19:33):
powerful.
We would be so powerful.
So you look at advertisers,advertisers.
Don't shop retail.
They're not here to free youbecause you switch on the TV.
We're constantly beingbombarded with advertising and
images and there's a war for ourattention, constantly
distracted, and in some way,shape or form we are brainwashed
(19:53):
to believe the hypnoticconditioning of you're not
enough.
I mean, that's the bottom lineof what they're saying.
You're not enough.
But if you just use thisproduct right and buy this
product and here it is, thenthose wrinkles will be gone and
he's going to love you.
Just wear this underwear andyou're going to be lovable.
(20:15):
And so so much of society hasan investment in you not knowing
who you are, because then youcould be sold and controlled and
manipulated.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is how powerful we
really are.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is how powerful we
really are.
The secret that they don't wantus to know is that we are a
(20:37):
spark of the divine, that we area spark of the infinite, we are
children of God.
There's something inside of usthat is beyond this human,
physical, limited body, as asoul, as an energy, as a being,
as a child of God, whatever youwant to believe but there's
something beyond just thislimited human ego structure that
(20:59):
is born and then will die, andso I think I don't that's a
strong word to say there's aconspiracy, but I say that
tongue in cheek.
You know, there's a conspiracyto distract us from our own true
selves, because if we can bedistracted, then we can live.
Not prey on people'sinsecurities and fears, but find
(21:36):
ways to empower them.
Because advertising, modern-dayadvertising, is all about.
You're not enough, but just buythis thing.
You're not enough.
But if you just drive this car,wow, I mean, a Rolls-Royce gets
you to the same place as aToyota, but no, it's the
(21:58):
prestige.
It's preying on our sense ofinadequacy and insecurity in so
many ways.
And so the more we know who weare, the more free we are, the
more powerful we are, the moreimpact we can have, and this is
what I would say, and as ifyou're a leader you're listening
(22:20):
to small business pivots.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
This podcast is produced by my company boss.
Our business is helping yoursgrow.
Boss offers business loans withbusiness coaching support.
Apply in minutes and getapproved and funded in as little
as 24 to 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
If you're enjoying this podcast, don't forget to hit the
(22:44):
subscribe button and share it aswell.
Now let's get back to ourspecial guest, to our special
guest.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And this is what I would say.
And as if you're a leader, aCEO, entrepreneur, leader I'm
sure everyone listening in theirown way is not everybody will
love you, not everybody willlike you.
It's just the way of things.
If you're running a company,not everyone's going to like you
(23:12):
, and it's okay.
But if you're spending yourentire life and time because
maybe you don't feel enough andlovable trying to get everybody
to love you, trying to geteverybody on your team to love
you, trying to get everyemployee to love you, you're not
going to be very effective.
And so leadership is not apopularity game, right, it is
(23:32):
about being authentic and aboutliving in integrity and the
truth.
And so what we have to learn isto as leaders.
If you want to be effective,you must unplug yourself from
number one, people's negativeopinions about you.
You must unplug yourself frompeople's negative opinions about
you.
Number two, you must unplugyourself from people's negative
(23:52):
opinions about you.
Number two, you must unplugyourself from people's positive
opinions about you, because thenyou're free.
You're not trying to get peopleto love you, you're not
reacting to people's negativeopinions about you.
That's the true freedom.
If you're a CEO of a company.
Some are going to love you,some are going to hate you.
You're president of the UnitedStates of America, some are
going to love you, some aregoing to hate you.
(24:13):
You're president of the UnitedStates of America, some are
going to love you, some aregoing to hate you.
It's just the nature of thegame.
I would say, as a leader, as abusiness owner, as a CEO, if
everybody loves you all the time, probably you're doing
something wrong because you willhave to make some tough
decisions and some tough callsfor the benefit of the company
(24:33):
or the greater good of all, andin the short term, people may
not like that.
As a parent, right, your kidsaren't going to love you all the
time when you say no, but youknow you need to say no because
it doesn't serve that12-year-old to go to the
nightclub, right, it justdoesn't.
It doesn't serve that8-year-old to eat five tubs of
(24:55):
Haagen-Dazs, you know.
And so to really be aneffective leader, as a business
person, as an entrepreneur, isto know who you are and to tap
into your truth and be able tolive that.
That's the power and that's thefreedom and that's the real
connection.
(25:15):
And I think you can't do thatif you don't deal with your
insights, because if you didn'tget love as a child and now you
spend your whole life seekinglove and validation, then how do
you truly lead and how do youtruly serve your community, your
employees, the company, theshareholders?
You can't, because you'realways going to be caving and
(25:36):
catering to what people want andwhat people don't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
What's a bit of advice?
Because, following yourstatements on your website,
release your past, reclaim yourpower.
Next is realize your dreamswhen you've been boxed in.
I think a lot of us were boxedin.
You're only this good, richardBranson says.
I think one of his teacherssaid you're either going to be
in prison or something like that.
(26:03):
But he got past that.
But a lot of us are boxed inright Limited belief.
How do you realize your dreamswhen that just seems impossible,
like I'm always going to be?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
this?
I think you have to.
Yes, you have to be willing toquestion your beliefs, and most
of us do not question ourbeliefs.
Well, I'm unlovable, I'm notenough, I can't do that.
And beliefs arise from ourexperiences.
Which beliefs arise from ourexperiences and the
(26:37):
interpretation that we made, orthe meaning that we made those
experiences become.
So X happened and we made thatmean something.
Y happened and we made thatmean something about ourselves.
Dad left, I'm not enough, mombeat me.
I'm unlovable, I'm unworthy,I'm worthless, right.
(27:01):
And so we hold on to thosebeliefs for a sense of identity,
safety, comfort,self-preservation.
Those beliefs are not real.
Those beliefs are not facts.
Those beliefs areinterpretations that you made up
(27:23):
to try to make sense of theworld.
The challenge is, we hold ontothose beliefs so tightly that
those beliefs become who wethink we are.
That is ego.
So the reason it's so hard tolet go of those beliefs is
because we believe ourselves tobe this version of ourselves.
(27:44):
We really believe ourselves tobe the ego, and the ego doesn't
want to change.
The job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt,
and the job of the ego doesn'twant to change.
The job of the ego is toprotect you from getting hurt,
and the job of the ego is toreinforce its existence.
So, to question the ego is toquestion your beliefs.
To question your beliefs feelslike a death because we believe
ourselves to be those beliefs.
(28:06):
And so if you can realize, oh, Iam not my beliefs, do you mean
I'm not my beliefs?
Well, are there certain thingsthat you believe now that you
didn't believe when you were 10?
Are there certain things thatyou believed when you were 10?
You were so sure about when youwere 12, 15.
But with life and wisdom yourealized oh, that's not true
(28:31):
anymore.
But you were so sure at age 20,the way the world was.
But maybe at age 30 or 40, yourealize, huh, that's not fact.
So many of us were operatingthrough life as though fiction
is fact.
Well, the truth is, we have toquestion our beliefs and ask is
(28:51):
this true, is this real, is thisfact or is it fiction?
And when you believe thefiction as though fact, it
becomes a reality unto you.
So we have to be willing toquestion is this fact, is this
fiction, is this real?
Is this not what's true?
And to have the courage toquestion yourself, to let go of
(29:13):
your beliefs.
That is surrender, that isreleasing, that is a let go,
that is a death, I would say.
Then you can find yourself andyou, if you're willing to
question but most of us are notwilling to question because it
starts shaking the very fabricand foundation of who we think
we are, and that can be a bitscary, but that's what we must
be willing to do, otherwise youend up, yes, living boxed in by
your beliefs.
(29:33):
But you see, any real goal, anytrue goal, any real goal, will
force you.
You set a goal.
You have a vision, an inspiredgoal.
If it's real and worthy, itwill be outside of your current
identity.
It will force you to grow, itwill force you to be who you've
(29:59):
never been before.
It will force you to expand,which will mean you cannot
achieve that goal.
Being the version of yourselfthat you were, you cannot
achieve the next level of yourlife.
Being who you've been cannotachieve the next level of your
life.
Being who you've been before,the next level of your life will
require the next level of you,which will require that you let
(30:20):
go of who you were.
And so, when you're trying tomanifest a goal or a dream and
desire.
If you're here and it's here itwill force you on a journey, a
journey to confront and facethose limiting beliefs and ideas
about yourself, because thoseare the things that have gotten
you here, but those beliefs willnot be the things that get you
(30:43):
here, and that's what you willhave to let go of and release
and sort of surrender, andthat's the process of evolution
in personal growth so that youcan become the person that is
capable of fulfilling the dreamand the vision.
You have to become the personand most of us don't achieve it
(31:05):
because we don't become theperson, because we don't let go
of those beliefs.
Beliefs are not who you are,they're just what you believe.
And beliefs change and we'vemade up stories about ourselves
based on certain experiencesthat happen, that seem real but
it's not real.
But what you must recognize isif you made up the story, then
(31:30):
you can unmake the story.
If you made it up, you can makeup another story, but you have
to be willing to question.
That's powerful, I would askpeople to ask themselves when
you look at your goal, okay, wow, it's outside of my comfort
zone.
I don't know how I'm going todo it.
You're not meant to know howyou're going to do it.
(31:51):
If knew how you were going todo it, it wouldn't be a true
goal.
Yeah, you might as well justwalk from your living room to
your to your bedroom.
That doesn't take any anything.
There's no growth there, and soyou have to ask yourself who do
I need to be?
Who do I need to be in order toachieve that goal?
Who do I need to become?
Who do I need to be in order toachieve that goal?
Who do I need to become?
Who do I need to be and get asense of who that is, so that
(32:14):
you can then step into that andremove the limitations that
prevent you from stepping intothat version of yourself.
That's the growth.
So the goal will take you on ajourney of becoming that person
that is able of fulfilling thatdream and that goal and the
vision.
There's the growth.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Kind of aligns with that old business saying of what
got you here won't get youthere.
You know, simple as that youknow it's the same thing.
Well, you've got a couple ofpopular books out there.
You want to share a little bitabout those.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah, look, you Are the One.
And the Magic of Surrender.
Tell me what you want to know,because I could speak for days.
How?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
can they help?
How are they different?
How can they help?
How does one book help a person?
Yeah, the first book.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
In a nutshell, I'll focus on the second book, but
the first book is all about youAre the One.
It's about finding your purposein life and the concepts I'm
teaching about how do youuncondition yourself.
The second book is called theMagic of Surrender, which is all
about how to surrender, becausewe have so many, shall we say,
misconceptions about the wordsurrender today, especially as
(33:26):
business owners.
Oh, surrender is giving up,surrender is weak, surrender is
waving the white flag.
Surrender means I won'tmanifest my goals and dreams and
desires.
Surrender means I'll get lessin life.
And I'm actually saying that no, if you surrender, what if you
didn't get less in life?
What if you got more?
More than you could haveimagined, more than you could
(33:47):
have thought, more than youcould have imagined with the
limitation of your mind?
And so surrender is a lettinggo of control, letting go of who
you think you are, how youthink your life should look, who
you think you should be, sothat you can feel and align with
(34:11):
who you're really seeking tobecome, more than anything.
If you look at any of the greatones Jesus, bruce Lee who's a
childhood hero of mine, muhammadAli Mandela, martin Luther King
in their own way.
They all surrendered.
Okay, let's take it out of thebooboo realm, let's take it to
(34:32):
business, right?
Love them or hate them, folks,don't kill me for this.
Elon Musk, jeff Bezos, richardBranson they all, in their own
way, surrendered, oh yeah.
Well, let's look at Elon Musk.
He's kind of getting rightthrough the coals these days,
but if we look at it right,here's a guy who made about 200
(34:56):
million in PayPal money, spacex,tesla, this dude and you don't
have to like him as a person,but this dude invested 200
million of his 200 million intothis next venture because he got
(35:19):
the calling.
That is surrender.
He went all in on what he feltwas true.
Jeff Bezos didn't make money inAmazon for what Decades?
But he believed, he believed,he believed and he went all in.
That is surrender.
(35:40):
They offered Zuckerberg, Ithink Google or one of these
companies Microsoft maybeoffered Mark Zuckerberg a
billion dollars for Facebook inthe early stages.
No, that is surrender.
Surrender.
At some point when you surrender, you're going all in on your
vision.
(36:00):
So when you look at the greatones back to Jesus Bruce Lee,
muhammad Ali Gandhi, motherTeresa at some point they all
surrendered themselves.
Okay, life, I'm ready, the lifethat they ended up living may
not have been the life that theythought they were going to live
, but when they surrenderedthemselves to the life that was
(36:21):
seeking to happen and seeking toexpress, then they were able to
tap into another dimension ofpossibility, infinite potential
that they were able to be usedby life.
And I think that's when themagic happens, that's when the
blessings happen.
We all want magic in our lives,don't we?
(36:42):
But we don't want to surrender,and surrender is a letting go
of what is no longer working,what is no longer alive.
And so most of us, as I said,the next level of your life
requires the next level of you,but most of us, we don't want to
let go of the old.
We hold on, but not realizingthat holding on to what is no
longer working simply blocksyour blessing.
(37:04):
It blocks your blessing, and soletting go makes space and
makes room for the more, andthat's when the blessings happen
.
And so, as an entrepreneur,here's what I would ask you what
is it you're holding on to oryou're doing in your business
that is no longer working foryou, that you know is not
(37:26):
working?
That's question number one.
As a business owner, I'd askyou question number two.
Here's the trickier questionwhat is it that you're doing?
That you're doing that isworking.
It's working, but doing more ofit is actually stifling and
inhibiting.
The next level is actuallystifling and inhibiting the next
(37:50):
level, the next level of yourgrowth as a human, as a business
, as a company.
You could just keep doing itforever, but you won't scale and
you won't grow, and so really,it takes letting go, it takes
expanding, it sometimes takes aletting go of the good so that
(38:12):
we can tap into the great, andthat's what I would invite
people to think about.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Well, and for those listeners that consistently say,
well, these people we'retalking about had a better life.
I'm only going to address twoof them Jesus and Elon Musk.
I want everyone to researchtheir childhood.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
They did not live a glorious life, so they had to
get over things, they had tosurrender, they had to do some
things to overcome that.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Elon Musk is a perfect example.
He didn't come from anything,so I want you to.
We could talk all day long.
This is so good, but I knowthere's a lot of people that
probably want to learn more on aconsistent basis.
Where can they find you?
How do you coach?
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Look, I have a podcast.
It's called Soul Talk 400episodes.
Check it out.
Soul Talk, spotify, apple.
My main website, I would say fornow, is the simplest way
K-U-T-E, cootbl, blacksoncom.
I'm sure the link will be inthe show notes.
You can find out about myevents, about my seminars.
(39:15):
For the last 20 years I'veworked with people one-on-one.
That's how I started workingwith people one-on-one and
entrepreneurs and businessowners, but not with the
business, with the inner game,so to speak.
I don't work with clients somuch one-on-one these days, but
many seminars, retreats in Baliand India.
If you want to find out moreabout my seminars and my events,
(39:38):
go to my website, kubelaxsoncom.
There you can also enter yourname and your email to get on my
list and you'll receive a freethree-part video training series
on how to find your purpose,and so you can check that out as
well.
What else?
My book, the Magic of Surrender, my other book, you Are the One
.
Check those two books out.
(39:58):
Instagram I'm always postingconstant on Instagram Coop,
blackson, k-u-t-e, but mostly itwould be a joy to support
anyone that was ready to go tothe next level of their lives,
and the best way is come to oneof my events.
Come to one of my retreatsaround the world and I promise
you, magic will start happening.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Yeah, I can back that up.
You have a lot of good, greatstuff out there.
I always end our show with onelast question, and that is if
you were in a room full ofbusiness owners different
industries, different sizes ofbusiness what's one last thing
you could offer of encouragement?
It could be a quote, someinsights that would be
(40:41):
applicable to all of them, nomatter what season of life or
business they're in.
Just some general insights.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
This might not be what you're expecting, but I'm
going to say it you are going todie.
Feel that you are going to die.
There is no avoiding it.
It's the only guarantee fromthe moment you're born.
(41:12):
Bill Gates, elon Musk, jeffBezos, sergey Brin, larry Page,
the greatest business owners inthe world, larry Ellison the
list goes on.
Richard Brent, you will die Ifyou can hold death close.
(41:36):
Make death your friend, feel it,breathe into it, not as some
morbid thing, ooh no but as anurgent inspiration to live life.
Then you realize how preciousthis moment is, how precious
every second is.
And so, if you find yourself infear, should I do this?
(41:57):
Should I not do this?
If you find yourselfprocrastinating, should I do
this?
Should I not do this?
Feel your death If these wereyour last moments, if today was
your last day.
Is this how you want to die?
Just sitting there in fear?
Is this how you want to die?
Just procrastinating your dayaway?
Feel it, because when you feelyour death, it puts a real,
(42:18):
sobering reality check to howprecious every second is.
Tomorrow is not a right givenby God.
Tomorrow is a privilege if weare blessed to receive it.
And so I would say, when wemeet our maker.
Whatever you believe, you cannotgo to God, say, hey God, can I
(42:39):
get a refund on those five yearsI wasted at work in my business
because I just was afraid?
Can I get a refund on those 10years I did the thing I hated?
Can I get a refund on thosethree years in my relationship
that I was not present?
Can I get a refund on those 10years I wasn't present with my
child?
Once that time is gone, it isgone forever.
(43:02):
There are no refunds in thislife.
So how would you need to liveyour life in such a way that you
had absolutely zero regrets?
This is what I would leave youwith today, and if you really
feel your death, I promise youit will transform how you do
(43:23):
your business.
For some of you, you might evenleave your business.
For some of you, you might sellyour business.
For some of you, you mightchange your business.
And For some of you, you mightsell your business.
For some of you, you mightchange your business and pivot
and do something else.
Because if God came down andtold you the exact date and the
exact time of your death on apiece of paper like a card,
(43:43):
expiry card and said this iswhen you're going.
Would that change how you'reliving now?
If it would if it would makethose changes and don't waste
time.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
You've been a blessing to many and a wealth of
information.
I appreciate you, my friend,and I wish you continued success
.
Thanks again.
Thank you for listening toSmall Business Pivots.
(44:22):
This podcast is created andproduced by my company.
Thanks again, 48 hours atbusinessownershipsimplifiedcom.
If you're enjoying this podcast, don't forget to hit the
subscribe button and share it aswell.
If you need help growing yourbusiness, email me at michael at
michaeldmorrisoncom.
We'll see you next time onSmall Business Pivots.
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