The moment I pressed play on Season 3, Episode 10 of Knots Landing, "Three Sisters," I knew something felt different. Five minutes in, it clicked—this wasn't just another drama-filled installment of our favorite primetime soap. This was Knots Landing's bold venture into the supernatural. What begins as a simple road trip transforms into something extraordinary when Laura, Karen, Valene, Lily Mae, Abby, and Ginger arrive at a secluded mansion 100 miles from home. Laura's there on business, tasked with selling the estate, while the others tag along for what they believe will be a pleasant overnight getaway. But from the first unsettling camera angles and mysterious gusts of wind, it's clear this house holds dark secrets. The genius of this episode lies in how it uses paranormal elements to explore profound character truths. Through Abby's research, we learn the mansion's tragic history—three young sisters whose mother was murdered by their father, left abandoned for months before being raised by a governess, never truly growing up as they remained in the house their entire lives. As strange occurrences multiply—windows that freeze to the touch, doors that lock from nowhere, eerie music boxes playing on their own—it's Valene who forms the deepest connection with the ghostly presence. Joan Van Ark delivers a mesmerizing performance as Valene's maternal void (having lost her daughter Lucy years earlier) makes her uniquely receptive to the ghostly children. Her trance-like state and eventual journey to the roof, where she nearly sacrifices herself to "join" the children, creates one of the series' most intense emotional climaxes. It's Lily Mae who ultimately saves her daughter, speaking directly to the spirits and breaking their hold. The final reveal—a Polaroid showing three ghostly girls standing behind Valene—provides the perfect conclusion to this anomalous yet thoroughly satisfying episode. "Three Sisters" stands as bold evidence that even the most grounded dramas can successfully venture into unexpected territory when they remain true to their emotional core. Ready to experience this haunting side of Knots Landing? Grab something bubbly, keep the lights on, and join me for an unforgettable journey into the supernatural edges of 80s television drama. When you're done, share your thoughts—did this paranormal detour surprise you as much as it did me?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
oh, my god becky, I can't believe my eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome back to another
fun-filled edition of soap lor,I beg your pardon, beg your
finest pardon, for the intrusion.
We'll get to the intro, maybelater, maybe not.
I decided on a whim.
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead andwatch a little bit of Not
(00:23):
Slanding today, decided to watchit on my laptop while I sort
out some other See the name ofthe title and I'm like, oh, okay
, I think I know what this isabout.
This is probably a gingerepisode.
We hadn't had a full gingerkitty episode since they had
baby two names.
I plan to watch this from topto bottom and then review it,
but I'm going to watch it inreal time.
Five minutes, view it, but I'mgonna watch it in real time.
(00:46):
Five minutes and 54 secondsinto this episode, despite the
conversation that has been goingon, it finally clicks.
Is this the haunted mansionepisode?
Are we really going paranormalon knots landing?
Is this what this is?
I think they're serious.
I think they're serious and Ithink I am seriously delighted.
So I'm going to switch fromwatching this on the laptop.
(01:07):
I'm going to go ahead and putit on my TV.
You guys, grab something bubblyand bright.
While we jump into season three,episode 10 of Not Slanding
Three Sisters, all right partypeople welcome, or welcome back
(01:28):
to another fun little edition ofso floor.
Usual warning in place be cool,be quiet or you will be kicked
out.
Especially today, because Ineed to get to the bottom of
this.
This seems unprecedented for me.
I have never, in recent memoryat least, or past memory, seen a
drama do sort of a sort of aspooky episode again five
(01:50):
minutes and 54 seconds into theepisode, and I feel like that's
where they're going with this.
Looks like it's an all girlsepisode as well.
I hope your day is shaping upbright and wonderful.
You might want to listen tothis with the lights on.
Actually, I doubt it.
I I like a good mystery, I likea little bit of suspense, so
(02:13):
let me, let me get you up.
Just let me catch you up.
The show opens, uh, in front ofsome house, kind of a stucco,
looking pinky, peachy house,very nice.
It doesn't look.
It's not run down or anything.
It does look like no one livesthere and the music is.
(02:36):
It's not quite haunting, it'sjust some music.
I had to rewind it back.
I'm going to be honest, becauseit didn't seem like it was
important at the time.
The girls are all out in frontof the cul-de-sac, they're
packing up for a trip.
Lily Mae has a comically largepicnic basket, just like Yogi
Bear, and she's worried aboutthe sandwich spoiling.
You hear from Valene?
(02:58):
Okay, yeah, we're just going tostay overnight.
They're giving us the wholedynasty rundown where they tell
you everything you need to knowwithin the first 35 seconds.
Yeah, we're on a road trip.
We're gonna go over 100 milesaway.
There's no point in driving 100miles up, 100 miles back.
We're just gonna stay the night.
Seems like they're all goingwith Laura to check out this
house.
I'm assuming it's the samehouse.
(03:19):
Karen comes out and she wantsto go, but she doesn't want to
go, like she has to go to work.
Then she starts to remembereventually that she's a boss.
Plus, if she goes they can alljump in her station wagon.
They don't have to worry abouttaking this little bitty car and
being cramped.
So they all decide to go.
Now I am a little bit of boo-boothe fool.
They mentioned the house.
They mentioned a little bitabout the haunting.
(03:41):
I didn't really pay that muchattention to it until we get
fully in the car.
That's where we're at at thefive minute 54 second mark
they're headed upstate, Isuppose up or down state, I
don't know to check out thismansion.
Laura says that her firm is incharge of of dealing with the
estate, although it's worthnoting that abby invited herself
(04:03):
.
They don't really want her togo like that, but you know,
they're polite, everybody's toopolite to say anything wild to
her.
So she goes, and I'm glad shedid, because Abby and it seems
like everyone else in the car onthe trip is fascinated with
this house.
She's gone to the library godbless the days before a phone
and she's done a little bit ofresearch and everybody's like oh
(04:24):
yeah, the house is haunted,it's haunted.
And she's like, well, no, nottechnically, she's reading this
from a book.
Technically, this is this houseisn't haunted.
There's never actually been aghost sighting within the house.
Seems like everything happensoutside the house.
People claim they hear children, but no one's ever actually
reported seeing anything withinthe house.
(04:44):
Now they're having a good oldtime, just you know, laughing
kiki and eating snacks, countingblah, blah, blah.
I'm not going to give you afull blow, blah, blah.
I think I need to watch at leasthalf of this.
I'll come back on and talkabout it and then we'll finish
up, but I can't remember anysort of drama doing anything
(05:05):
like this.
Not in my memory.
This feels like that episode ofSaved by the Bell where they go
to the murder mystery dinnerand I guess they end up staying
a weekend and then they thinksomething really happens.
This sort of feels like that,but I don't know how to take it.
This is a drama.
This is unprecedented.
(05:26):
Are they really goingparanormal on this?
Or is this like the Scooby-Dooand Shaggy and them, where
there's a monster wearing a mask?
I really don't know.
All I know is I'm going towatch it.
I'm going to be very honestwith you.
I do not enjoy horror per se,the exception of like scream,
(05:47):
because I felt like that was aperson's more slasher than
horror.
I'm not a fan of gore.
I don't anticipate any gore onthis, but this feels like it's
about to be a good time.
We're on the haunted mansionknots landing ride.
Oh yeah, I don't care whatanybody said.
There's already too much mess.
Immediately, this is definitelythe haunted house episode.
(06:12):
So abby goes on to read withinthis library book.
She, she reads basically thatno one's ever seen anything.
There's kind of here kids,people, passerbyers, neighbors,
people like that.
No one ever reported anythingwithin the house.
The lore is that this womanMifflin, mifflin, something like
(06:32):
that was either super, superwealthy and just a recluse who
lived with all her cats, or shewas poor and destitute and lived
with all her cats.
Either way, they worried aboutthe cats at the house.
Lily Mae wants to know how manycats.
Laura doesn't really care.
Laura's counting coins.
She's like this is a mansion.
I am a million dollar mansionseller.
(06:53):
That's all I'm going to do issell this.
I don't care if there's 10 catsor none.
Lily Mae's like no old ladieslike that always have a bunch of
cats, but everybody's just kindof having a good time.
You can tell they don't reallybelieve that this house is
haunted.
It's interesting, though Abbyseems to be hyper focused.
She seems to be the one who'sactually doing like the research
(07:14):
, while everyone else is justkind of content to enjoy the
weekend, go up to the house.
So they keep showing shots ofthe house and I'm noticing the
music is kind of tense.
It's kind of mysterious.
The house in and of itself isactually quite beautiful.
It looks like a small mansion,vaguely familiar, as most
mansions are on tv.
(07:34):
But there is a little bit of aheaviness to it.
They're shooting it at weirdangles or shooting it kind of
low.
They're shooting this episodetotally different than any
episode they've ever done.
I have not seen this done fullyon any of the soap operas other
than on falcon crash where theyhad the gloved person walking
(07:55):
around like planning stuff andchase's house and about to bust
someone over the head with acandlestick.
It's almost shot like a horrorfilm, like you're right up on
the women.
It's shot a little bit lower,as if someone is watching them.
That's what it feels like andthe house in and of itself feels
like it's like it's swelling alittle bit, like it's breathing.
(08:17):
It's not overgrown, it does notlook like an abandoned mansion.
But they keep showing like thedoors keep slamming.
The windows, excuse me, areopening and shutting, opening
and shutting.
The French door windows keepopening and shutting, opening
and shutting.
You can hear the wind and thisis in between shots of the women
(08:40):
in the car and then you'll seea shot of the house at that
weird angle and you see shots inthe car.
They finally get to the house.
Laura's like Karen'll see ashot of the house at that weird
angle and you see shots in thecar.
They finally get to the house.
Laura's like Karen, I gotta getthe key out.
Karen opens the door, walksright in.
Oh okay, it's not dusty.
I mean, I suppose a woman justdied.
So there's not really a lot toto take in.
It's just a house.
It's quite beautiful, but alsoa little old, little dated.
(09:04):
So Laura gets to workimmediately.
She's taking Polaroids of anyand everything.
Ginger says that she startsmissing baby two names as soon
as she walks in.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Clearly they're trying to setthe mood for something.
It is worth noting that LilyMae does not seem to be bothered
.
One way or another, she needsto go to the bathroom.
(09:24):
Her and Val have to empty theirbladders.
Lily Mae finds a bathroomdownstairs.
She's like okay, girl, goupstairs.
So Val goes upstairs and againthe camera is is kind of in her
mid back, like it's right behindher.
You feel like you're watchingher, even though we're watching
(09:46):
her.
You know what I'm saying.
Somebody's watching her.
This is what it feels.
Like she gets up to the top.
They take a picture of her andthen, like a random breeze comes
through.
So I'm like, okay, okay, sothese things could be a
coincidence.
Okay, maybe it's gusty, it's ontop of the hills, have eyes.
It's obviously out in themiddle of nowhere.
(10:07):
Maybe it's just a little morebreezy up here.
She finds an upstairs bedroom,opens it and there's all these
weird like statues throughoutthe house.
There's a weird looking lion.
She goes to the bathroom tohandle her business, but when
she tries to shut the window orthe French door window that
keeps opening and shutting, shecan't do it.
Like she reaches for the doorand it's cold, or the window.
(10:28):
She's like, oh my god, likeshe's rubbing her hands together
, it's cold.
Then all of a sudden, thebathroom door will not allow her
to leave.
She's beating.
She's getting progressivelymore and more worried, like
first it's hey y'all, cansomebody let me out?
Come on somebody please.
She's starting to panic alittle bit.
(10:50):
She starts hollering for lilymay, for karen, for anybody.
They eventually hear her andand tell me why valine has
blisters on her hands.
I'm like valine, what happened?
She says, oh, I was washing myhands and then I tried to shut
the window, but it was so cold.
It was so cold, it froze myfreaking hands 14 and a half
(11:11):
seconds into living in thishouse.
Are they going to sleep here?
Clearly something's up.
Couldn't be me.
I'm sorry.
This is I mean maybe okay, okay, maybe getting stuck in the
bathroom I'd be okay, but once Istart getting blisters in SoCal
(11:31):
from wind, please, here's thething.
That was definitely weird.
Karen's like girl.
Listen, I would have been herescreaming like a lunatic too had
I got locked in the bathroom ina fresh, brand new, possibly
haunted house.
At this point everybody stilldoesn't, you can tell, they
still don't really believe it'shaunted.
But Valene was thoroughlyfreaked out.
But she started she sort ofstarting to calm down.
(11:53):
Lily Mae is completelyunbothered.
Oh girl, I got some hand lotiondownstairs.
Laura doesn't seem to befreaked out.
Laura doesn't seem to befreaked out about anything.
Ever, very, very rarely, rarely.
She has these like big moments,but she's never thoroughly
freaked out.
You know what I'm saying.
Anyway, abby and ginger did notwitness valine complete and
(12:13):
total meltdown in the bathroomrightfully so, let the record
reflect.
I'm not judging her.
Quite frankly, I don't thinkshe did enough.
I would have been back in thatcar.
I said gary, get your narrowpainted on pants up here and
come get me.
Ginger and Abby didn't hearanything because they had.
Abby was like, hey, it's kindof musty in here.
It's kind of like dank, I needsome fresh air.
I'm going to go out on theterrace.
(12:34):
Ginger says yeah, I'm going tojoin you.
This house is just kind ofdepressing.
Let's go reading this bookwhile everybody else is in the
bathroom trying to convincethemselves that the poltergeist
is not about to rip this thingto shreds and bits and pieces.
So the rest of the women joinAbby and Ginger outside and they
finally get to the bottom of it.
Ginger's like hey, yo, look,this house is in the book we
(12:57):
found it Now, the book that Abbyhad originally when she was in
the car, the one she got fromthe library.
It was a a mere footnote, whatwe learned at the beginning of
the show about this, about thishouse.
Mind you, we're only about 10,11 minutes in.
But this second book, the book,I suppose, that was in the
house, unless Abby had a.
It's unclear where the bookcame from, but just understand
(13:18):
that this second book goes intogreat detail about the original
owner of a house, of Mr Mifflin.
Mr Mifflin was an old man.
He went and married a youngwoman, not very uncommon back in
the day.
Well, this young woman wasquite beautiful and she bore him
three sons, three daughters,pardon me, and you know that she
(13:40):
might as well have set hishouse on fire back then.
How dare she not just springstrong, strapping males from her
loins, as if his 900 year oldsperm was doing any better?
But you know, it ain't hisfault, it's her fault.
Matter of fact, he gets it inhis head that the reason she
can't produce any males isbecause she's too busy banging
(14:01):
males.
Mind you, they're up in themiddle of nowhere back in the
1800s there's probably oneperson every six months that
comes by the house.
So the father gets upset oneevening and he starts asking the
little girls about what othersort of men comes up here?
Who is your mom banging?
Basically, little girls arelittle, so they don't know what
he's talking about.
Plus, they're like we'veliterally never seen anyone else
(14:23):
, it's just us.
He don't know what he's talkingabout.
Plus, they're like we literallynever seen anyone else, it's
just us.
He don't like that.
And he's such, he's such a big,strong, strapping old man.
He decides he's gonna beat onthese little girls.
Mind you, these girls are seven, like five and four.
They are little bitty, they'reunder 10 years old.
His young wife sees this andshe's like, oh no, hell, no.
She jumps on him, she tries tofight him off.
She fights, fights him off andunfortunately he beats her to
(14:44):
death.
And if that wasn't enoughpunishment, he decides he's just
going to bury her somewhere inthe yard.
Then he's going to bounce.
So he beat the babies, beat themom, bury the mom, then bounce,
left the little girls in thehouse.
It was months before anybodyeven noticed that they were
there.
Like I said, this is late 1800s.
People aren't coming by thehouse every other day, so it's
(15:13):
months before the girls arediscovered in the house.
Eventually, one of the richrelatives sends a governess to
come and take care of them, andthey end up living there for the
rest of their lives.
According to the book, theynever actually grew up, though.
They remained in little girls'clothing and dressed, and
dressed with dolls, excuse me,played with dolls the rest of
their life.
That seems like a likely story,considering they had a
guffiness.
Now I'm thinking of movies I'veseen with it sound of music.
(15:35):
Uh, that helen keller moviewhere she reaches back to
tuscaloosa and comes all acrossthe Great Plains and slaps every
taste bud that woman's mouthever contained, ever Lord.
She beat that woman half todeath.
Every other day I thought tomyself about halfway through
(15:57):
that movie Helen Keller ain'tblind.
I watched that as a little kid,probably second third grade,
and I think we watched it againin high school and I was like no
, she ain't blind.
As a little kid, probablysecond third grade, and I think
we watched it again in highschool, and I was like no, she
ain't blind, she was, she was.
She formulated a plan andexecuted it with diamond-like
precision.
But that's neither here northere.
Governess, governess cameraised, the little girls.
(16:18):
Only they never really grew up.
Apparently, two of the sistersdied in 1940, 1940-ish.
The other one, which is whythey're there now, passed away
very recently, at the time ofthis recording, 1982-ish.
So that's quite a long time tolive alone in a house by
yourself, for whatever reason.
Now, mind you, all the womenare outside.
(16:40):
That's Valene, lily, mae, laura, karen, abby and Ginger.
Ginger's new hairdo is just notquite right.
I really do feel like she needsthat part.
She pushed out the baby anddecided she didn't want the side
part anymore.
I think she needs it back.
Looks like she's wearing awrestler's wig or something.
Anyway, all the women are kindof looking back and forth at
(17:01):
each other.
Karen is a little bituncomfortable, it's very clear.
Val was uncomfortable, butsomething in her heart warms
when she hears about theselittle girls, cause she said
when she was upstairs I forgotto say this that she thought she
heard little girls.
She thought she heard somelittle girls but kind of talked
herself out of it Like, oh man,you know, maybe I I was tripping
(17:22):
, maybe I scraped my handstrying to close the windows.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
But something about theconfirmation of this story in
the book has everybody kind oflooking to and fro.
So Val's like oh well, that's,that's their sister.
She's letting her sisters in,implying that the recently
deceased woman is now or havinga good old time with her
(17:45):
previously deceased sisters, hersisters who've been dead for
over 40 years.
Val seems warm and comforted byand she's got those crazy eyes
again.
I listened to an episode I dida while back.
I was trying to remember whatmy first impression of Val was
(18:07):
and I really thought she was.
She seemed a little bitfrightening to me because of,
like the way her eyebrows wereand she wasn't blinking and I
felt like they gave her likethis weird silver lipstick or
whatever.
I call that woman everythingbut a child of God.
I call her Vanita Val Valvoline, vaseline, vaccine.
Well, valvoline is back.
(18:32):
Vaccine is making everybody inthe house uncomfortable.
If I don't know anything else,I can tell by the shifty looks
they're giving each other.
Everybody else was weirded outby this story.
Like man, this is really weird.
Valvoline is like oh my God,the little ghost babies.
Yeah, you think they won't havea party.
Lily Mae is probably thinking,dang, I do need to put on a
children's concert, buteverybody else is looking to and
(18:54):
fro.
So you know there's going to bea private conversation later
About Valene and her ghostloving tendency.
I've always thought this Idon't care what kind of
relationship you're in.
You want to know if yourrelationship with another human
being is strong or not.
Go on a road trip, see how theybehave in a hotel.
(19:17):
See how you behave with them ina hotel.
See how they behave in a newcity.
It tells you so, so, so muchabout a person and I'm kind of
wondering.
This show, this episode inparticular, seems like they're
having a good time.
I can't wait to do a little bitmore digging, or maybe one of
the OGs can tell me.
Was this that one of the ladiesdirecting it Is this?
(19:39):
I don't know.
I'm having a good time, eventhough I'm a little bit weirded
out.
I'm a little bit weirded out, alittle bit freaked out, but it
will be fun going forward tokind of see what is revealed so
far.
We're only what is a 17 minutesinto this episode and right
away I'm like OK, abby seems tobe very focused, she's studious,
(20:03):
she's in the books.
Laura is like scared money,don't make money.
She don't care if 16 demigodsand ghosts and goblins and
ghouls and whoever else comecrawling out the chimney.
As long as they're gone bymorning.
She can sign on the dotted lineget this commission.
It is what it is scared money,don't make money.
Karen was cool.
Seems like she was just aboutconvinced that everything was
(20:25):
going to be fine until she heardthat story from Abby.
Ginger looks like she's aboutto vomit, but she always kind of
looks like she's about to vomit.
Valene is giddy over thethought of ghost babies.
Lily Mae is probably trying towork up a song, laughing,
laughing.
So, fiends, don't judge me.
(20:49):
Actually, you know what?
I'm a big girl, I can take it.
You can judge me.
It's the next day.
I freaked myself out because Iwas home by myself.
So I decided, you know what, Ifeel a little uncomfortable in
(21:10):
my own home.
So I decided, you know what,let me wait till everyone else
gets home.
So I'm back at it again,picking up where I left off.
Now they know there's possiblyghosts in the house.
Let's see what's going on.
But, like I said yesterday,there's definitely going to be a
private conversation.
You can tell by the way theywere looking at each other,
especially Laura.
(21:30):
Laura's always got that littleweird smirk on her face.
But they looking at Valene like, oh, does she say she played
ghosts?
Is she excited about?
In my mind there's going to bea private conversation where
they decide you know what LilyMae's already weird.
Valene is tripping.
Let's go ahead and keep themdownstairs just in case
(21:50):
something happens.
Let's give them the creepiestrooms and she's good with all
the poltergeists and what haveyou.
Also, I noticed this yesterday.
I didn't say anything.
I mentioned it before.
I know Valene and Karen areclose, but there is a tone
sometimes I feel like it's notnecessarily hateful.
(22:13):
It's more like I'm a big sister.
You know, big sisters teasetheir younger siblings.
I feel like Karen treats andtalks to Valene sometimes like
she is country dumb.
Dumb, but not in the, not inthe good way.
We all know country dumb meansI'm actually very bright.
I'm dumb, but not in the goodway.
We all know country dumb meansI'm actually very bright, I'm
taking in everything.
She thinks she's just this dumblittle pumpkin that fell off a
(22:35):
turnip truck when Val wastelling her.
You know, she has physicalevidence on her hand about it
being so cold.
Karen just sticks out her armwhile it's warm.
Now, I understand what you'resaying.
Yes, both of you are right.
Well, I understand what you'resaying.
Yes, both of you are right, butcan we not ignore that there
are physical wounds on thiswoman's hand?
She's not one to make upanything.
(22:56):
She's not one to evenexaggerate If she said I was
locked in this bathroom, I washollering for you, heifers.
Neither one of y'all ran uphere to help me, and my hands
are physically damn near frozen.
Somehow I need you to take me alittle bit more seriously.
It could be one of thosemoments, though, where Karen's
(23:16):
just like okay, that's reallyfreaky.
Let me give the most logicalexplanation.
It could be one of thosemoments, but it's just.
It's dancing in the back of myhead.
This isn't the first or thirdor fourth time I've thought that
, like dang, she kind of talksto her very dismissively.
Is what I think very dismissiveof her.
See, now, there we go.
(23:37):
Now you're talking some sense.
There is a proper conversationdown in the basement, the very,
very empty basement, betweenlaura and karen.
Now they're going on.
Oh, it's so disappointing.
This house isn't haunted.
No, no, no, man, too bad, wedidn't believe, because then we
could be relieved if we wouldbelieve us.
No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, Isaw the look on your face.
(23:59):
Y'all are weirded out.
But let them tell that they'reweirded out because Valene is
suddenly believing in ghosts.
The air has shifted, for sure,so let them tell it.
And they're bravely walkingthrough an empty basement, so
maybe they're not afraid.
They're like man, this is weird.
Yeah, poor val, let's just keepan eye on val.
Well, upstairs, valine istaking some sort of inventory or
(24:22):
she's writing down.
I don't know what she's writing.
She's got a legal yellow pad,but lily may miss.
This is nice.
It's all of a sudden like, oh,I hate this house.
This house is bad girl.
We got to go, balene, let'stake our country asses outside
and sit down.
I agree, lily Mae, oh God,maybe I'm just as country as
(24:45):
them.
But Lily Mae is like no, no, no, no, no, something ain't right.
I am very uncomfortable,daughter, let's get our things
and let's wait outside for thesepeople.
Oh hell, no See, okay, I hopethe kids are playing outside or
out of sight Y'all.
I'm sorry Auntie Jed is goingon one.
They're going to make me turnthis off today.
I hate, oh party people.
(25:16):
Listen to me, listen to me.
Good, valene opens thisginormous.
Now that I think about it, Iguess it's a record player, but
it.
I'm glad everybody's home, butthey better be quiet.
Valene opens this record playerand it's playing the sort of
music young women like myselfhad back in the day, and
probably our moms, in the littlejewelry boxes that she would
wind up on the bottom littlecardboard box.
Sometimes it'd be like aballerina or something or
(25:36):
something like that in it.
One time I had one and it waslike a.
I guess it was a nutcracker nowthat I think about it, but I
was really disappointed.
It was a dude.
I was like this isn't cool, Idon't want to.
What it was, what am I doingwith this?
Anyway, it's playing this song,that sort of music.
You know what I mean?
Valene thoroughly creeped methe heck out.
(26:01):
She's all wide.
Listen, okay, let me gather mythoughts.
Let me gather my thoughts, andmaybe I should have watched this
all the way through.
They're the acting.
I have waxed poetic about thismany, many times, but sometimes,
specifically in this show andthere's a few others, you don't
have to say anything.
The way the, the actors areemoting, you feel and hear
(26:24):
everything they're not saying.
Valene is enchanted, but herenchantment is.
It makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know why it just does.
I'm a little on edge.
I'm like, oh my God, there shego with that look in her eyes
again.
She ain't blinking.
She looks like she's taken backto maybe being a little kid
again.
Lily Mae, who just said thishouse is diseased and they need
(26:50):
to go outside and wait for theothers, is looking at valine
with that same look like.
Okay, maybe it ain't the house,maybe it's you valine, maybe
valine, my own child, good lord,my own child is creeping me out
and that's the thing.
Like with with houses.
The thing that makes themcreepy, or that makes any
building seem creepy when it'sempty, is that buildings were
(27:13):
built for the sole purpose forhuman beings to kind of inhabit
in some way, and when there'snot real life there, there is
something a little bit Iwouldn't say necessarily scary
or negative but it feels alittle bit off because this is
supposed to house life, and whenit doesn't, it makes it feel a
(27:33):
little bit uncomfortable.
There's all sorts of statues inthis house, there's all sorts
of terrible taxidermy, sothere's things that mimic life
but there's not really any lifein it.
This music is creepy.
This music is freaking me out.
Then tell me why.
The next scene is those dolls.
Oh, you know exactly what kindof dolls I'm talking about.
(27:54):
I'm not talking about cabbagepatch, I'm not talking about
barbie.
We're talking about say it withme, folks that the victorian
dolls, the porcelain dolls.
One of those is fine, two is oh, that is lovely.
Anybody who has a room full ofthose dolls, any kid, you, you
(28:15):
name me one child who's notthoroughly freaked out upon
entering that room.
There's something off about itbecause it is once again
something that mimics somethingthat is alive but it's not, and
there's something in thatstillness that is so disturbing
I had to push stop.
It's only 20 minutes.
Let me fight my compulsions.
Actually I'm gonna havesomebody come in here and watch
this with me, which is so sillybecause I know it's not gonna be
(28:41):
terrible.
But oh, I'm not a fan of 150dolls.
I'll have to tell you about mygrandma's neighbor who had one.
She used to get super drunk andshe would argue with her
husband and they lived in thissort of pea green, no, no, no
More of like a fluorescent,right before color becomes
(29:01):
fluorescent or neon.
It was like on the cusp, thestucco house, just square,
stucco and that bright green,and they have this really sort
of cool porch.
Clearly they had notredecorated their home since the
60s.
Now I enjoy this woman.
I like talking to her.
I thought she was pretty cool.
But you go into her house andyou could see it from the front
(29:23):
door.
There was a crushed velvetcouch like a deep burgundy.
There was a crushed velvetcouch like a deep burgundy.
She had deep burgundy drapesand like those 60 sort of amber
glass lamps with the long chains, you know the ones that hung
from the ceiling and whatnot,but their couch was covered,
with no lie, 50 of those littlelike.
(29:45):
They were smaller porcelaindolls.
They used to freak me the hellout and I was a kid.
I wanted to play with dolls.
That was too much, was too much.
I was like, lord, give me, giveme them plastic dolls
immediately.
I can't deal with the porcelain.
It's beyond freaky.
And you know what?
(30:13):
Abby's gonna end up in achokehold by the end of this
episode.
Keep playing if you want to.
Lily may's freaked outdownstairs.
Ginger sitting in the room withthis terrible new hairdo damn,
they're rocking back and forthlooking at all these creepy
dolls.
She's like you think they sleptin here together and I was like
, well, I mean, probably iscreepy.
Terrible felt stuffed animals,terrible porcelain dolls.
(30:35):
It is very, very creepy.
Blah, blah, blah.
Karen goes over to the shelf.
She's like, yeah, I'm gonna getout of here this, I've seen
enough.
Tell me why.
All the dolls fall off theshelf and there's just one
hideous like corkscrew woodendoll or something, probably some
sort of hoodoo mask at somepoint it's just chilling by
itself.
And then you see a hand snatchit back, y'all.
I like to faint it.
I like to faint it now.
(30:58):
I'm talking like a 60 year oldsouthern woman.
Abby's country ass comessauntering back from behind.
Why are there curtains in thisroom that I'm thinking about
this now.
It's as if the wall was acurtain.
She's like oh, I couldn'tresist, abby, you're gonna end
up in the trunk, you don't quitplaying.
I forgot that car didn't have atrunk.
(31:18):
It has a back seat.
Rip to abby's hips.
She had to ride in the very,very way back.
I've never been in the back ofa station wagon but I have sat
on a wheel well, of a truck or apainting van or painter van.
It sucked real, real bad.
I can only imagine how painfulthat was.
For what?
100 miles takes about two hoursto drive, ugh.
(31:39):
Anyway, they're about to leavethe house.
Laura insists on taking apicture.
The girls start lining up.
Val looks up.
She sees three and I do meanthree blonde haired little girls
, all about the same age, andlike well, weren't there a
little bit?
That's irrelevant.
She sees them.
She didn't say a word.
Val is slowly.
(31:59):
You know she's.
I know I said there'd be aconversation.
I didn't think the conversationwould have that much validity.
Yes, it's all fun and games.
Haha, val likes ghost babies.
Val likes ghost babies.
Val wants to keep the ghostbabies, so they go and get in
the car and guess what happens?
(32:20):
You know what happens If you'veever seen any horror movie ever
in life, at any point in thehistory, ever.
Nothing works.
It won't even turn over.
And I'm thinking, karen, why isit taking you 45 minutes to put
the daggone key in the ignition?
I thought maybe she put herhouse key in it.
No, nothing works.
Everybody is thoroughly freakedout.
Gender scared lily, may.
(32:41):
Scared valine is not abby'sjust like damn, I'm hungry.
So they end up going back intothe house and of course, the
phone doesn't work.
The lights are on, but thephone doesn't work.
Val is slowly giving given thatthat.
Look, I hope you guys arewatching this.
(33:01):
Remember, you can jump onAmazon Prime at any time.
I actually think some ofKnott's Landing is on YouTube.
I think it might be, maybe notthe full episodes, I don't know.
But figure out how to watchthis.
Borrow somebody's password, dosomething.
You got to see this one.
So they go back in and it isdecided that I mean they don't
really have a choice.
They could either walk eight ornine miles down the road in the
(33:23):
pitch black, dark, down a hill,or they can just vibe there and
figure out what to do.
Abby is like I'm.
I said I'm hungry.
Ginger's.
Like I said I don't want tostay here.
Lily may, seconds that.
But what choice do they have?
Luckily, lily may packed acomically large yogi bear,
(33:45):
basically laundry basket worthof food she's.
Oh, there's cupcakes and fruitin there.
All right, lily may.
So they're gonna sit down tosupper.
So they go into the dining roomor dining hall or whatever.
It is a mansion, after all.
I want to be disrespectful totheir rooms.
Light some candles.
Abby's flipping through thebook.
You hear footsteps, you hearpeople, you know somebody's
(34:05):
rattling the door.
So there's like all thisfreaking noise.
Abby starts flipping throughthe book and she's like well, no
, technically.
And if you hear this sort ofeverybody's like abby, shut up,
shut up.
Do you want to end up in achokehold, abby, I will turn you
into an aberration.
If you don't shut the hell up,I will smother you with a pillow
and put you on top of that car.
Do you want to be ghost, abby,or do you want to be breathing
abby?
(34:25):
Stop reading More seducing.
Do something else.
Every time you read a book orcalculate numbers, something
goes amok.
Abby's like all right, cool,fine, whatever I'll sit here.
But only she doesn't.
The door starts jangling.
Somebody's trying to get in thedoor.
She's had enough of this bull.
She snatches the door open.
(34:46):
Tell me why some weirdo jacknicholson's nephew or great
uncle, dressed as a lumberjack,comes bursting in quietly.
I guess he's not bursting it.
He comes in and he's just look.
All he really showed up to dowas say well, why are you here
tonight?
They're like who are you?
I'm the groundskeeper.
I take care of this place.
Why was the door unlocked today?
(35:08):
Doesn't matter.
Can you give us a ride?
I'm on foot.
Will the neighbors give us aride?
I mean, can you help us?
They're not going to come uphere.
Nobody comes up here unlessthey're stupid.
Why are you here?
Because I'm stupid.
Okay, sir, you got to go.
You are good and creepy.
For absolutely no reason youhave got to go.
(35:30):
He looks at Karen.
Everybody wants a piece ofKaren.
Remember when JR wanted her too.
He's like well, I could staythe night if you want.
She's like hard, pass on theway.
I am not that hard up.
I will never be that hard up.
Valene is like man.
He don't know nothing.
She's the only one who's notfreaked out by him.
She's like hell.
(35:50):
He might be a ghost.
At this point Everybody's likewhispering about Valene, because
she is.
She's be very creepy thisepisode.
She even went outside at onepoint to get something out of
the back of the car and mysubtitles said something was
saying mama, mama or mother.
That's not what I heard.
I just heard scraping, butallegedly it was saying Mother,
(36:14):
she wants to be here.
And Lily Mae made that comment.
She was like it doesn't reallymatter if I believe in ghosts or
not.
I don't like this house.
I'm ready to go home, but ifValene thinks some little ghost
babies need her, then I meanthat's a whole nother story.
Mm-mm dude, I swear I've neverseen this, but I'd be damned if
(36:35):
I wasn't right.
Valine is so eager to get theman gone.
She doesn't care what he says,she's always just talking.
He doesn't know what he'stalking about.
She's eager, she volunteers tosleep upstairs.
I think I said earlier theyjust slept downstairs.
But in my mind, if you crazy Idon't want to use the word crazy
lily may is peculiar.
(36:55):
Valine is being mad creepy,absolutely.
Y'all are gonna bunk togetherbecause y'all are family.
The rest of us don't wantanything to do with that and and
I'm right, everybody else isasleep in the living room.
Valine will sleep upstairs.
Tell me why.
She walks in the room and itlooks just like the damn shining
, except there's three littleblonde girls sitting on beds
smiling back at her.
Lily Mae comes in.
(37:16):
She doesn't see anything,talking about how creepy the
room is.
Valene is always so beautiful.
Then they go, oh God, they gointo another room to sleep,
which might be equally as creepy.
Now I feel like that might bedebatable to some people.
Do you sleep in the ghost kidroom or do you sleep in the
adult room?
They go to the adult room andboth of them posted up resting.
(37:39):
Everybody else is asleep in theliving room like nah man.
We're going to be downstairs incase something pop off.
Valene can stay up there withthe ghost babies if she wants.
Lily may have to, becausethat's her mother.
Well, all of a sudden, thatcreepy music starts playing, the
little jewelry box box music.
Valine gets up and she startsfloating.
Not really, she starts humanlywalking towards the window in a
(38:01):
floating like manner.
She's not floating whatever.
I'm trying to pepper.
I'm trying to paint a scene foryou.
You know what I'm saying.
She's looking out the window.
She sees something.
She decides she needs to runout.
If you hear kids, those are myneighbor kids.
They're not at all creepy andthey don't look like caroline
from poltergeist.
So lily may sees her daughterfloating or walking in a trance
(38:26):
like state side note.
John man art looks amazing thisepisode.
The lighting was lighting.
She looks so beautiful, so, butcreepy.
I've said creepy 900 times thisepisode.
The lighting was lighting.
She looks so beautiful, so butcreepy.
I've said creepy 900 times thisepisode.
She's making me uneasy.
Let's use that word somehow oranother.
Val bypasses everybody in theliving room who look like
(38:47):
they're sleeping in veryuncomfortable positions.
She goes into a room.
She starts having aconversation with absolutely
nobody, saying okay, I'll gowith you.
And then you hear all thisruckus.
Lily may is losing her mind,beating on the door, beating on
the door.
Now the other women are airquotes helping, but I can tell
(39:10):
they're not.
It's like if you ever had tolift a couch.
You can tell who's fake lifting.
Or perhaps you're trying toquote unquote.
Hold the elevator.
Only you really don't push thebutton, you just make it look
like it.
But can I, can I blame?
Why, pray tell, would I alloweither her neuroses, her
psychoses or her ghosties comerunning up out the room?
(39:31):
What does that got to do withme?
By the time they get the dooropen, valene, or whomever has
torn this room to shreds, it is.
Things are flipped over.
They are flopped over.
Poltergeists has really come upin there and run amok.
She's gone.
She's run out under a cloak ofdarkness.
Now they got to go run out andlook for her.
When I say they, I mean notAbby, not Ginger, and not Laura,
(39:59):
karen, that's your girl.
Lily Mae, that's your daughter.
We go.
I mean, ain't no sense in usall getting axed, murdered to
death, right?
So Lily Mae has to go into thehouse and light a candle, like
it's 1814.
Put on a hillbilly shawl and goout and holler Valene, valene,
(40:19):
valene is such a good name toy'all, don't you agree?
It's a great name.
You're not going to mix that upwith anything, unless you're me
.
Then I might be like vaccineVanita, val-va-lene, vaseline,
you hear me?
Lean.
Lean is long gone.
If I'm not mistaken, lean is inthe basement.
How she got there from theoutside, I'm sure I don't know.
(40:41):
But lily may and karen spendthe better.
Well, lily may spends a betterpart of three hours searching
for valine.
Karen spends a better part ofthree hours chasing lily may's
chasing Valene.
Eventually, karen's like okay,lily, lily, lily, enough, she's
gone.
Now I'm thinking this is yourbest friend, this is your friend
(41:01):
friend.
Three hours is not nearlyenough time to stop looking for
somebody.
But Karen's like to hell withthat.
This ain't even real ghost,ain't even real.
I'm exhausted.
Lily Mae, sit down.
Your daughter's fine.
She's gonna have to snap out ofit at some point.
And Lily Mae's like no, darling, don't you see?
It's real.
To Valene, she sees threelittle girls who lost their
mother.
Then they lived in the houseall alone all those years, don't
(41:24):
you see?
Once Claire died, she let theother two in.
Now they're looking for theirmother.
And Karen's like so you'resaying they smelled the
desperation in Valene, is thatwhat you're saying?
And Lily Mae's like so you'resaying they smelled the
desperation in Valene.
Is that what you're saying?
And Lily Mae's like yes, mygirl had a baby taken away from
her.
She never got to raise adaughter, so she believes she
(41:46):
has to be with him.
It's the only way she's goingto get to raise kids and Karen's
like what are you saying?
Lily Mae jumps out the windowtalking about she thinks she has
to die to be with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are we watching the same show?
I don't know.
Mind you, valene is in thebasement with three little
(42:07):
Carolannes running around herand it's so cute.
One of them has great rhythm,one of them doesn't, you can
tell.
The last one was like God, Ican't skip very long guys.
Skipping in a circle makes medizzy.
I feel bad.
I understand little girl.
She gets a little bit off beat.
But Valene is just listening tothis music box, letting the
three little girls skip to theloo around her in this very
(42:28):
empty basement.
Valene is eventually joiningthe girls in the ring around
rosie.
That turns into hide and go seewho better to hide than girls.
Children in a house that theylived in for the better part of
100 years.
They know every nook, crannyand crevice and they are having
the time of their afterlife,while valine is having the time
of her current life.
Meanwhile, upstairs, laura andabby and ginger are sitting in
(42:54):
the living room just kind ofdiscussing what's going on with
Valene, when Ginger's like nah,man she's.
I believe her.
I believe she sees something,because as soon as I came in
this house I felt it.
I know there's something wrong.
I started missing baby twonames.
Laura says well, you know, thatwould make sense, because
Valene's mothering instincts arethere, only she's never
(43:16):
actually got to express them.
So she's frustrated andrepressed.
The ghost can tell.
Abby says you really think so,you really believe all this?
Laura's like I don't know,maybe I do, maybe I don't, but I
think it sounds good, makes alot of sense.
I tend to agree with Laura.
That would make the most sense.
However, in order to agree, Ihave to also point out what does
(43:37):
that mean for Laura and Abby?
Specifically, abby must nothave any motherly instincts.
She's like I'm hungry, shedon't really care, and Laura was
focused on the money.
So it's like if it's amothering thing, why aren't all
the mothers feeling something?
Karen might be on that cusp,but Lily Mae?
(43:58):
I'll be damned if Lily Mae'sinstincts aren't 100% on point.
I guess better late than neverwhen it comes to mothering,
because she just can't rest.
She knows something is up.
Sure enough, these little ghostgirls have a plan A rather
devious plan.
Sure enough, these little ghostgirls have a plan, a rather
devious plan.
They plan on ring around therosy Valene halfway to death,
(44:24):
all the way to death.
Actually, they start running upthe stairs.
You know, hey girl, come on,val, I beg you, I beg you, watch
this scene.
If you don't watch anythingelse, make sure you watch the
last 10 minutes of this.
The acting is superb.
It is unnerving, it isheart-wrenching, it is intense,
(44:49):
it is impressive.
Valene makes it all the way upto the roof and poor little Lily
Mae, who's been running aroundfor three hours, chases her up
the roof.
The three little Carol landsare on the ground.
At one point they open the door.
They're like hiding above thestaircase and they open the door
and the look on their face isvery disturbing.
(45:10):
They get up to the roof.
Lily Mae is able to pull arabbit out of a hat, convince
valine not to take a flying leapoff the side.
This is not the place for aswan dog.
My love them.
Kids are looking for me,they're looking for me.
So lily may calls them all byname and I have to admit there's
something about her countryaccent calling their names.
(45:30):
It made me believe like yeah,okay, they're gonna cut the crap
now.
And they did.
So all is well next morning.
Valine is, you know.
She's grinning and bearing itlike well, mama, you saw the
girls too, didn't you?
And and I know she's lying, Iknow lily mae is selling wolf
tickets again, but that's whatshe does and she does it.
(45:51):
Well, she said, of course, whywould I lie?
I saw karen can't read the room.
She's like well, why are youasking her if you saw him?
Why do you care if she saw?
Basically, like valine, are yousure you saw them?
And valine said well, I I'msure.
I'm sure I did.
I just I would feel like acrazy person if I didn't.
And I don't feel like a crazyperson.
And she's smiling in that sweetvaline.
(46:12):
She's lost that weirdness inher eyes, though.
So they go outside all of asudden.
The car works, but laura andthe rest of the girls are
flipping through the polaroidsand laura's low-key disappointed
in the group photo.
She was hoping to see thelittle ghost girls.
She sees nothing.
Abby's like well, you know,don't be so disappointed.
Calm as the day is long.
(46:32):
She hands over polaroid.
Tell me why.
It's the one that laura took atvaline when they first got
there.
She was about to get locked inthat bathroom picture of valine.
Tell me why?
There's three little girlsright behind her.
The big question here is whywas abby so cool about that?
Is abby a ghostbuster?
Is she a ghost hunter?
Did abby put some sort ofvoodoo on this woman?
(46:55):
I don't know, but now I'mlooking at her out the side of
my eye.
This was as good as I thoughtit was going to be.
Actually it was even better.
What a clever way to slip in alittle paranormal activity and
let it be the.
I guess it's mother's pain,it's it's it's valine's state of
(47:18):
mind, which is very interesting.
I've been waiting for her tonot break.
Necessarily I don't want her tobreak down, but it's like I
want her to break out.
She's.
She's had to handle everythingfor so long and we see these
little glimpse of her greatness.
You see little glimpse of hergreatness.
You see little glimpse Of herstanding up for herself, of her
having a voice, and I feel likeshe'd gotten really far.
(47:39):
Then Lily Mae showed up and shekind of had to fold back into
herself a little bit.
Is Val unwell?
No, I mean, since there'spicture proof, she's not.
But also, that void Is a very,very dangerous void.
(48:00):
It pushed her to the limit.
She almost took a swan dot offthe side of a haunted mansion.
I don't know what this meansfor the rest of the season, but
I love this one in there.
I was a little bit nervous thatby episode in episodes in this
would they would have foundabsolutely nothing and then Val
(48:20):
would have to carry the scar ofbeing like y'all.
Remember that time Val wentcrazy.
We went on that road trip.
I thought it'd be one of thosesituations.
I'm kind of glad it's not.
Man, what a good time.
Well done, knots Landing.
I did not see that coming.
It seems so random.
I've never quite seen a showlike this where you throw
(48:42):
paranormal activity into thestoryline, but it makes sense.
All right, guys, this is a funlittle naughty break.
Join me next time as we jumpback into some more vintage
primetime soap opera debaucheryin the meantime.
In between time, if you getlocked in a bathroom and ice
(49:05):
comes through the window, allyou need to see ever again is
your booty and your elbows.
That's country for saying youneed to just start breaking out
running.
You need to run, stay hydrated,stay moisturized, don't get
haunted, mind your business,especially in a haunted house,
(49:26):
and keep all of your drama on TV.
oh, my god becky, I can't believe my eyes.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome back to another
fun-filled edition of soap lor,I beg your pardon, beg your
finest pardon, for the intrusion.
We'll get to the intro, maybelater, maybe not.
I decided on a whim.
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead andwatch a little bit of Not
(00:23):
Slanding today, decided to watchit on my laptop while I sort
out some other See the name ofthe title and I'm like, oh, okay
, I think I know what this isabout.
This is probably a gingerepisode.
We hadn't had a full gingerkitty episode since they had
baby two names.
I plan to watch this from topto bottom and then review it,
but I'm going to watch it inreal time.
Five minutes, view it, but I'mgonna watch it in real time.
(00:46):
Five minutes and 54 secondsinto this episode, despite the
conversation that has been goingon, it finally clicks.
Is this the haunted mansionepisode?
Are we really going paranormalon knots landing?
Is this what this is?
I think they're serious.
I think they're serious and Ithink I am seriously delighted.
So I'm going to switch fromwatching this on the laptop.
(01:07):
I'm going to go ahead and putit on my TV.
You guys, grab something bubblyand bright.
While we jump into season three,episode 10 of Not Slanding
Three Sisters, all right partypeople welcome, or welcome back
(01:28):
to another fun little edition ofso floor.
Usual warning in place be cool,be quiet or you will be kicked
out.
Especially today, because Ineed to get to the bottom of
this.
This seems unprecedented for me.
I have never, in recent memoryat least, or past memory, seen a
drama do sort of a sort of aspooky episode again five
(01:50):
minutes and 54 seconds into theepisode, and I feel like that's
where they're going with this.
Looks like it's an all girlsepisode as well.
I hope your day is shaping upbright and wonderful.
You might want to listen tothis with the lights on.
Actually, I doubt it.
I I like a good mystery, I likea little bit of suspense, so
(02:13):
let me, let me get you up.
Just let me catch you up.
The show opens, uh, in front ofsome house, kind of a stucco,
looking pinky, peachy house,very nice.
It doesn't look.
It's not run down or anything.
It does look like no one livesthere and the music is.
(02:36):
It's not quite haunting, it'sjust some music.
I had to rewind it back.
I'm going to be honest, becauseit didn't seem like it was
important at the time.
The girls are all out in frontof the cul-de-sac, they're
packing up for a trip.
Lily Mae has a comically largepicnic basket, just like Yogi
Bear, and she's worried aboutthe sandwich spoiling.
You hear from Valene?
(02:58):
Okay, yeah, we're just going tostay overnight.
They're giving us the wholedynasty rundown where they tell
you everything you need to knowwithin the first 35 seconds.
Yeah, we're on a road trip.
We're gonna go over 100 milesaway.
There's no point in driving 100miles up, 100 miles back.
We're just gonna stay the night.
Seems like they're all goingwith Laura to check out this
house.
I'm assuming it's the samehouse.
(03:19):
Karen comes out and she wantsto go, but she doesn't want to
go, like she has to go to work.
Then she starts to remembereventually that she's a boss.
Plus, if she goes they can alljump in her station wagon.
They don't have to worry abouttaking this little bitty car and
being cramped.
So they all decide to go.
Now I am a little bit of boo-boothe fool.
They mentioned the house.
They mentioned a little bitabout the haunting.
(03:41):
I didn't really pay that muchattention to it until we get
fully in the car.
That's where we're at at thefive minute 54 second mark
they're headed upstate, Isuppose up or down state, I
don't know to check out thismansion.
Laura says that her firm is incharge of of dealing with the
estate, although it's worthnoting that abby invited herself
(04:03):
.
They don't really want her togo like that, but you know,
they're polite, everybody's toopolite to say anything wild to
her.
So she goes, and I'm glad shedid, because Abby and it seems
like everyone else in the car onthe trip is fascinated with
this house.
She's gone to the library godbless the days before a phone
and she's done a little bit ofresearch and everybody's like oh
(04:24):
yeah, the house is haunted,it's haunted.
And she's like, well, no, nottechnically, she's reading this
from a book.
Technically, this is this houseisn't haunted.
There's never actually been aghost sighting within the house.
Seems like everything happensoutside the house.
People claim they hear children, but no one's ever actually
reported seeing anything withinthe house.
(04:44):
Now they're having a good oldtime, just you know, laughing
kiki and eating snacks, countingblah, blah, blah.
I'm not going to give you afull blow, blah, blah.
I think I need to watch at leasthalf of this.
I'll come back on and talkabout it and then we'll finish
up, but I can't remember anysort of drama doing anything
(05:05):
like this.
Not in my memory.
This feels like that episode ofSaved by the Bell where they go
to the murder mystery dinnerand I guess they end up staying
a weekend and then they thinksomething really happens.
This sort of feels like that,but I don't know how to take it.
This is a drama.
This is unprecedented.
(05:26):
Are they really goingparanormal on this?
Or is this like the Scooby-Dooand Shaggy and them, where
there's a monster wearing a mask?
I really don't know.
All I know is I'm going towatch it.
I'm going to be very honestwith you.
I do not enjoy horror per se,the exception of like scream,
(05:47):
because I felt like that was aperson's more slasher than
horror.
I'm not a fan of gore.
I don't anticipate any gore onthis, but this feels like it's
about to be a good time.
We're on the haunted mansionknots landing ride.
Oh yeah, I don't care whatanybody said.
There's already too much mess.
Immediately, this is definitelythe haunted house episode.
(06:12):
So abby goes on to read withinthis library book.
She, she reads basically thatno one's ever seen anything.
There's kind of here kids,people, passerbyers, neighbors,
people like that.
No one ever reported anythingwithin the house.
The lore is that this womanMifflin, mifflin, something like
(06:32):
that was either super, superwealthy and just a recluse who
lived with all her cats, or shewas poor and destitute and lived
with all her cats.
Either way, they worried aboutthe cats at the house.
Lily Mae wants to know how manycats.
Laura doesn't really care.
Laura's counting coins.
She's like this is a mansion.
I am a million dollar mansionseller.
(06:53):
That's all I'm going to do issell this.
I don't care if there's 10 catsor none.
Lily Mae's like no old ladieslike that always have a bunch of
cats, but everybody's just kindof having a good time.
You can tell they don't reallybelieve that this house is
haunted.
It's interesting, though Abbyseems to be hyper focused.
She seems to be the one who'sactually doing like the research
(07:14):
, while everyone else is justkind of content to enjoy the
weekend, go up to the house.
So they keep showing shots ofthe house and I'm noticing the
music is kind of tense.
It's kind of mysterious.
The house in and of itself isactually quite beautiful.
It looks like a small mansion,vaguely familiar, as most
mansions are on tv.
(07:34):
But there is a little bit of aheaviness to it.
They're shooting it at weirdangles or shooting it kind of
low.
They're shooting this episodetotally different than any
episode they've ever done.
I have not seen this done fullyon any of the soap operas other
than on falcon crash where theyhad the gloved person walking
(07:55):
around like planning stuff andchase's house and about to bust
someone over the head with acandlestick.
It's almost shot like a horrorfilm, like you're right up on
the women.
It's shot a little bit lower,as if someone is watching them.
That's what it feels like andthe house in and of itself feels
like it's like it's swelling alittle bit, like it's breathing.
(08:17):
It's not overgrown, it does notlook like an abandoned mansion.
But they keep showing like thedoors keep slamming.
The windows, excuse me, areopening and shutting, opening
and shutting.
The French door windows keepopening and shutting, opening
and shutting.
You can hear the wind and thisis in between shots of the women
(08:40):
in the car and then you'll seea shot of the house at that
weird angle and you see shots inthe car.
They finally get to the house.
Laura's like Karen'll see ashot of the house at that weird
angle and you see shots in thecar.
They finally get to the house.
Laura's like Karen, I gotta getthe key out.
Karen opens the door, walksright in.
Oh okay, it's not dusty.
I mean, I suppose a woman justdied.
So there's not really a lot toto take in.
It's just a house.
It's quite beautiful, but alsoa little old, little dated.
(09:04):
So Laura gets to workimmediately.
She's taking Polaroids of anyand everything.
Ginger says that she startsmissing baby two names as soon
as she walks in.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Clearly they're trying to setthe mood for something.
It is worth noting that LilyMae does not seem to be bothered
.
One way or another, she needsto go to the bathroom.
(09:24):
Her and Val have to empty theirbladders.
Lily Mae finds a bathroomdownstairs.
She's like okay, girl, goupstairs.
So Val goes upstairs and againthe camera is is kind of in her
mid back, like it's right behindher.
You feel like you're watchingher, even though we're watching
(09:46):
her.
You know what I'm saying.
Somebody's watching her.
This is what it feels.
Like she gets up to the top.
They take a picture of her andthen, like a random breeze comes
through.
So I'm like, okay, okay, sothese things could be a
coincidence.
Okay, maybe it's gusty, it's ontop of the hills, have eyes.
It's obviously out in themiddle of nowhere.
(10:07):
Maybe it's just a little morebreezy up here.
She finds an upstairs bedroom,opens it and there's all these
weird like statues throughoutthe house.
There's a weird looking lion.
She goes to the bathroom tohandle her business, but when
she tries to shut the window orthe French door window that
keeps opening and shutting, shecan't do it.
Like she reaches for the doorand it's cold, or the window.
(10:28):
She's like, oh my god, likeshe's rubbing her hands together
, it's cold.
Then all of a sudden, thebathroom door will not allow her
to leave.
She's beating.
She's getting progressivelymore and more worried, like
first it's hey y'all, cansomebody let me out?
Come on somebody please.
She's starting to panic alittle bit.
(10:50):
She starts hollering for lilymay, for karen, for anybody.
They eventually hear her andand tell me why valine has
blisters on her hands.
I'm like valine, what happened?
She says, oh, I was washing myhands and then I tried to shut
the window, but it was so cold.
It was so cold, it froze myfreaking hands 14 and a half
(11:11):
seconds into living in thishouse.
Are they going to sleep here?
Clearly something's up.
Couldn't be me.
I'm sorry.
This is I mean maybe okay, okay, maybe getting stuck in the
bathroom I'd be okay, but once Istart getting blisters in SoCal
(11:31):
from wind, please, here's thething.
That was definitely weird.
Karen's like girl.
Listen, I would have been herescreaming like a lunatic too had
I got locked in the bathroom ina fresh, brand new, possibly
haunted house.
At this point everybody stilldoesn't, you can tell, they
still don't really believe it'shaunted.
But Valene was thoroughlyfreaked out.
But she started she sort ofstarting to calm down.
(11:53):
Lily Mae is completelyunbothered.
Oh girl, I got some hand lotiondownstairs.
Laura doesn't seem to befreaked out.
Laura doesn't seem to befreaked out about anything.
Ever, very, very rarely, rarely.
She has these like big moments,but she's never thoroughly
freaked out.
You know what I'm saying.
Anyway, abby and ginger did notwitness valine complete and
(12:13):
total meltdown in the bathroomrightfully so, let the record
reflect.
I'm not judging her.
Quite frankly, I don't thinkshe did enough.
I would have been back in thatcar.
I said gary, get your narrowpainted on pants up here and
come get me.
Ginger and Abby didn't hearanything because they had.
Abby was like, hey, it's kindof musty in here.
It's kind of like dank, I needsome fresh air.
I'm going to go out on theterrace.
(12:34):
Ginger says yeah, I'm going tojoin you.
This house is just kind ofdepressing.
Let's go reading this bookwhile everybody else is in the
bathroom trying to convincethemselves that the poltergeist
is not about to rip this thingto shreds and bits and pieces.
So the rest of the women joinAbby and Ginger outside and they
finally get to the bottom of it.
Ginger's like hey, yo, look,this house is in the book we
(12:57):
found it Now, the book that Abbyhad originally when she was in
the car, the one she got fromthe library.
It was a a mere footnote, whatwe learned at the beginning of
the show about this, about thishouse.
Mind you, we're only about 10,11 minutes in.
But this second book, the book,I suppose, that was in the
house, unless Abby had a.
It's unclear where the bookcame from, but just understand
(13:18):
that this second book goes intogreat detail about the original
owner of a house, of Mr Mifflin.
Mr Mifflin was an old man.
He went and married a youngwoman, not very uncommon back in
the day.
Well, this young woman wasquite beautiful and she bore him
three sons, three daughters,pardon me, and you know that she
(13:40):
might as well have set hishouse on fire back then.
How dare she not just springstrong, strapping males from her
loins, as if his 900 year oldsperm was doing any better?
But you know, it ain't hisfault, it's her fault.
Matter of fact, he gets it inhis head that the reason she
can't produce any males isbecause she's too busy banging
(14:01):
males.
Mind you, they're up in themiddle of nowhere back in the
1800s there's probably oneperson every six months that
comes by the house.
So the father gets upset oneevening and he starts asking the
little girls about what othersort of men comes up here?
Who is your mom banging?
Basically, little girls arelittle, so they don't know what
he's talking about.
Plus, they're like we'veliterally never seen anyone else
(14:23):
, it's just us.
He don't know what he's talkingabout.
Plus, they're like we literallynever seen anyone else, it's
just us.
He don't like that.
And he's such, he's such a big,strong, strapping old man.
He decides he's gonna beat onthese little girls.
Mind you, these girls are seven, like five and four.
They are little bitty, they'reunder 10 years old.
His young wife sees this andshe's like, oh no, hell, no.
She jumps on him, she tries tofight him off.
She fights, fights him off andunfortunately he beats her to
(14:44):
death.
And if that wasn't enoughpunishment, he decides he's just
going to bury her somewhere inthe yard.
Then he's going to bounce.
So he beat the babies, beat themom, bury the mom, then bounce,
left the little girls in thehouse.
It was months before anybodyeven noticed that they were
there.
Like I said, this is late 1800s.
People aren't coming by thehouse every other day, so it's
(15:13):
months before the girls arediscovered in the house.
Eventually, one of the richrelatives sends a governess to
come and take care of them, andthey end up living there for the
rest of their lives.
According to the book, theynever actually grew up, though.
They remained in little girls'clothing and dressed, and
dressed with dolls, excuse me,played with dolls the rest of
their life.
That seems like a likely story,considering they had a
guffiness.
Now I'm thinking of movies I'veseen with it sound of music.
(15:35):
Uh, that helen keller moviewhere she reaches back to
tuscaloosa and comes all acrossthe Great Plains and slaps every
taste bud that woman's mouthever contained, ever Lord.
She beat that woman half todeath.
Every other day I thought tomyself about halfway through
(15:57):
that movie Helen Keller ain'tblind.
I watched that as a little kid,probably second third grade,
and I think we watched it againin high school and I was like no
, she ain't blind.
As a little kid, probablysecond third grade, and I think
we watched it again in highschool, and I was like no, she
ain't blind, she was, she was.
She formulated a plan andexecuted it with diamond-like
precision.
But that's neither here northere.
Governess, governess cameraised, the little girls.
(16:18):
Only they never really grew up.
Apparently, two of the sistersdied in 1940, 1940-ish.
The other one, which is whythey're there now, passed away
very recently, at the time ofthis recording, 1982-ish.
So that's quite a long time tolive alone in a house by
yourself, for whatever reason.
Now, mind you, all the womenare outside.
(16:40):
That's Valene, lily, mae, laura, karen, abby and Ginger.
Ginger's new hairdo is just notquite right.
I really do feel like she needsthat part.
She pushed out the baby anddecided she didn't want the side
part anymore.
I think she needs it back.
Looks like she's wearing awrestler's wig or something.
Anyway, all the women are kindof looking back and forth at
(17:01):
each other.
Karen is a little bituncomfortable, it's very clear.
Val was uncomfortable, butsomething in her heart warms
when she hears about theselittle girls, cause she said
when she was upstairs I forgotto say this that she thought she
heard little girls.
She thought she heard somelittle girls but kind of talked
herself out of it Like, oh man,you know, maybe I I was tripping
(17:22):
, maybe I scraped my handstrying to close the windows.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
But something about theconfirmation of this story in
the book has everybody kind oflooking to and fro.
So Val's like oh well, that's,that's their sister.
She's letting her sisters in,implying that the recently
deceased woman is now or havinga good old time with her
(17:45):
previously deceased sisters, hersisters who've been dead for
over 40 years.
Val seems warm and comforted byand she's got those crazy eyes
again.
I listened to an episode I dida while back.
I was trying to remember whatmy first impression of Val was
(18:07):
and I really thought she was.
She seemed a little bitfrightening to me because of,
like the way her eyebrows wereand she wasn't blinking and I
felt like they gave her likethis weird silver lipstick or
whatever.
I call that woman everythingbut a child of God.
I call her Vanita Val Valvoline, vaseline, vaccine.
Well, valvoline is back.
(18:32):
Vaccine is making everybody inthe house uncomfortable.
If I don't know anything else,I can tell by the shifty looks
they're giving each other.
Everybody else was weirded outby this story.
Like man, this is really weird.
Valvoline is like oh my God,the little ghost babies.
Yeah, you think they won't havea party.
Lily Mae is probably thinking,dang, I do need to put on a
children's concert, buteverybody else is looking to and
(18:54):
fro.
So you know there's going to bea private conversation later
About Valene and her ghostloving tendency.
I've always thought this Idon't care what kind of
relationship you're in.
You want to know if yourrelationship with another human
being is strong or not.
Go on a road trip, see how theybehave in a hotel.
(19:17):
See how you behave with them ina hotel.
See how they behave in a newcity.
It tells you so, so, so muchabout a person and I'm kind of
wondering.
This show, this episode inparticular, seems like they're
having a good time.
I can't wait to do a little bitmore digging, or maybe one of
the OGs can tell me.
Was this that one of the ladiesdirecting it Is this?
(19:39):
I don't know.
I'm having a good time, eventhough I'm a little bit weirded
out.
I'm a little bit weirded out, alittle bit freaked out, but it
will be fun going forward tokind of see what is revealed so
far.
We're only what is a 17 minutesinto this episode and right
away I'm like OK, abby seems tobe very focused, she's studious,
(20:03):
she's in the books.
Laura is like scared money,don't make money.
She don't care if 16 demigodsand ghosts and goblins and
ghouls and whoever else comecrawling out the chimney.
As long as they're gone bymorning.
She can sign on the dotted lineget this commission.
It is what it is scared money,don't make money.
Karen was cool.
Seems like she was just aboutconvinced that everything was
(20:25):
going to be fine until she heardthat story from Abby.
Ginger looks like she's aboutto vomit, but she always kind of
looks like she's about to vomit.
Valene is giddy over thethought of ghost babies.
Lily Mae is probably trying towork up a song, laughing,
laughing.
So, fiends, don't judge me.
(20:49):
Actually, you know what?
I'm a big girl, I can take it.
You can judge me.
It's the next day.
I freaked myself out because Iwas home by myself.
So I decided, you know what, Ifeel a little uncomfortable in
(21:10):
my own home.
So I decided, you know what,let me wait till everyone else
gets home.
So I'm back at it again,picking up where I left off.
Now they know there's possiblyghosts in the house.
Let's see what's going on.
But, like I said yesterday,there's definitely going to be a
private conversation.
You can tell by the way theywere looking at each other,
especially Laura.
(21:30):
Laura's always got that littleweird smirk on her face.
But they looking at Valene like, oh, does she say she played
ghosts?
Is she excited about?
In my mind there's going to bea private conversation where
they decide you know what LilyMae's already weird.
Valene is tripping.
Let's go ahead and keep themdownstairs just in case
(21:50):
something happens.
Let's give them the creepiestrooms and she's good with all
the poltergeists and what haveyou.
Also, I noticed this yesterday.
I didn't say anything.
I mentioned it before.
I know Valene and Karen areclose, but there is a tone
sometimes I feel like it's notnecessarily hateful.
(22:13):
It's more like I'm a big sister.
You know, big sisters teasetheir younger siblings.
I feel like Karen treats andtalks to Valene sometimes like
she is country dumb.
Dumb, but not in the, not inthe good way.
We all know country dumb meansI'm actually very bright.
I'm dumb, but not in the goodway.
We all know country dumb meansI'm actually very bright, I'm
taking in everything.
She thinks she's just this dumblittle pumpkin that fell off a
(22:35):
turnip truck when Val wastelling her.
You know, she has physicalevidence on her hand about it
being so cold.
Karen just sticks out her armwhile it's warm.
Now, I understand what you'resaying.
Yes, both of you are right.
Well, I understand what you'resaying.
Yes, both of you are right, butcan we not ignore that there
are physical wounds on thiswoman's hand?
She's not one to make upanything.
(22:56):
She's not one to evenexaggerate If she said I was
locked in this bathroom, I washollering for you, heifers.
Neither one of y'all ran uphere to help me, and my hands
are physically damn near frozen.
Somehow I need you to take me alittle bit more seriously.
It could be one of thosemoments, though, where Karen's
(23:16):
just like okay, that's reallyfreaky.
Let me give the most logicalexplanation.
It could be one of thosemoments, but it's just.
It's dancing in the back of myhead.
This isn't the first or thirdor fourth time I've thought that
, like dang, she kind of talksto her very dismissively.
Is what I think very dismissiveof her.
See, now, there we go.
(23:37):
Now you're talking some sense.
There is a proper conversationdown in the basement, the very,
very empty basement, betweenlaura and karen.
Now they're going on.
Oh, it's so disappointing.
This house isn't haunted.
No, no, no, man, too bad, wedidn't believe, because then we
could be relieved if we wouldbelieve us.
No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, Isaw the look on your face.
(23:59):
Y'all are weirded out.
But let them tell that they'reweirded out because Valene is
suddenly believing in ghosts.
The air has shifted, for sure,so let them tell it.
And they're bravely walkingthrough an empty basement, so
maybe they're not afraid.
They're like man, this is weird.
Yeah, poor val, let's just keepan eye on val.
Well, upstairs, valine istaking some sort of inventory or
(24:22):
she's writing down.
I don't know what she's writing.
She's got a legal yellow pad,but lily may miss.
This is nice.
It's all of a sudden like, oh,I hate this house.
This house is bad girl.
We got to go, balene, let'stake our country asses outside
and sit down.
I agree, lily Mae, oh God,maybe I'm just as country as
(24:45):
them.
But Lily Mae is like no, no, no, no, no, something ain't right.
I am very uncomfortable,daughter, let's get our things
and let's wait outside for thesepeople.
Oh hell, no See, okay, I hopethe kids are playing outside or
out of sight Y'all.
I'm sorry Auntie Jed is goingon one.
They're going to make me turnthis off today.
I hate, oh party people.
(25:16):
Listen to me, listen to me.
Good, valene opens thisginormous.
Now that I think about it, Iguess it's a record player, but
it.
I'm glad everybody's home, butthey better be quiet.
Valene opens this record playerand it's playing the sort of
music young women like myselfhad back in the day, and
probably our moms, in the littlejewelry boxes that she would
wind up on the bottom littlecardboard box.
Sometimes it'd be like aballerina or something or
(25:36):
something like that in it.
One time I had one and it waslike a.
I guess it was a nutcracker nowthat I think about it, but I
was really disappointed.
It was a dude.
I was like this isn't cool, Idon't want to.
What it was, what am I doingwith this?
Anyway, it's playing this song,that sort of music.
You know what I mean?
Valene thoroughly creeped methe heck out.
(26:01):
She's all wide.
Listen, okay, let me gather mythoughts.
Let me gather my thoughts, andmaybe I should have watched this
all the way through.
They're the acting.
I have waxed poetic about thismany, many times, but sometimes,
specifically in this show andthere's a few others, you don't
have to say anything.
The way the, the actors areemoting, you feel and hear
(26:24):
everything they're not saying.
Valene is enchanted, but herenchantment is.
It makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know why it just does.
I'm a little on edge.
I'm like, oh my God, there shego with that look in her eyes
again.
She ain't blinking.
She looks like she's taken backto maybe being a little kid
again.
Lily Mae, who just said thishouse is diseased and they need
(26:50):
to go outside and wait for theothers, is looking at valine
with that same look like.
Okay, maybe it ain't the house,maybe it's you valine, maybe
valine, my own child, good lord,my own child is creeping me out
and that's the thing.
Like with with houses.
The thing that makes themcreepy, or that makes any
building seem creepy when it'sempty, is that buildings were
(27:13):
built for the sole purpose forhuman beings to kind of inhabit
in some way, and when there'snot real life there, there is
something a little bit Iwouldn't say necessarily scary
or negative but it feels alittle bit off because this is
supposed to house life, and whenit doesn't, it makes it feel a
(27:33):
little bit uncomfortable.
There's all sorts of statues inthis house, there's all sorts
of terrible taxidermy, sothere's things that mimic life
but there's not really any lifein it.
This music is creepy.
This music is freaking me out.
Then tell me why.
The next scene is those dolls.
Oh, you know exactly what kindof dolls I'm talking about.
(27:54):
I'm not talking about cabbagepatch, I'm not talking about
barbie.
We're talking about say it withme, folks that the victorian
dolls, the porcelain dolls.
One of those is fine, two is oh, that is lovely.
Anybody who has a room full ofthose dolls, any kid, you, you
(28:15):
name me one child who's notthoroughly freaked out upon
entering that room.
There's something off about itbecause it is once again
something that mimics somethingthat is alive but it's not, and
there's something in thatstillness that is so disturbing
I had to push stop.
It's only 20 minutes.
Let me fight my compulsions.
Actually I'm gonna havesomebody come in here and watch
this with me, which is so sillybecause I know it's not gonna be
(28:41):
terrible.
But oh, I'm not a fan of 150dolls.
I'll have to tell you about mygrandma's neighbor who had one.
She used to get super drunk andshe would argue with her
husband and they lived in thissort of pea green, no, no, no
More of like a fluorescent,right before color becomes
(29:01):
fluorescent or neon.
It was like on the cusp, thestucco house, just square,
stucco and that bright green,and they have this really sort
of cool porch.
Clearly they had notredecorated their home since the
60s.
Now I enjoy this woman.
I like talking to her.
I thought she was pretty cool.
But you go into her house andyou could see it from the front
(29:23):
door.
There was a crushed velvetcouch like a deep burgundy.
There was a crushed velvetcouch like a deep burgundy.
She had deep burgundy drapesand like those 60 sort of amber
glass lamps with the long chains, you know the ones that hung
from the ceiling and whatnot,but their couch was covered,
with no lie, 50 of those littlelike.
(29:45):
They were smaller porcelaindolls.
They used to freak me the hellout and I was a kid.
I wanted to play with dolls.
That was too much, was too much.
I was like, lord, give me, giveme them plastic dolls
immediately.
I can't deal with the porcelain.
It's beyond freaky.
And you know what?
(30:13):
Abby's gonna end up in achokehold by the end of this
episode.
Keep playing if you want to.
Lily may's freaked outdownstairs.
Ginger sitting in the room withthis terrible new hairdo damn,
they're rocking back and forthlooking at all these creepy
dolls.
She's like you think they sleptin here together and I was like
, well, I mean, probably iscreepy.
Terrible felt stuffed animals,terrible porcelain dolls.
(30:35):
It is very, very creepy.
Blah, blah, blah.
Karen goes over to the shelf.
She's like, yeah, I'm gonna getout of here this, I've seen
enough.
Tell me why.
All the dolls fall off theshelf and there's just one
hideous like corkscrew woodendoll or something, probably some
sort of hoodoo mask at somepoint it's just chilling by
itself.
And then you see a hand snatchit back, y'all.
I like to faint it.
I like to faint it now.
(30:58):
I'm talking like a 60 year oldsouthern woman.
Abby's country ass comessauntering back from behind.
Why are there curtains in thisroom that I'm thinking about
this now.
It's as if the wall was acurtain.
She's like oh, I couldn'tresist, abby, you're gonna end
up in the trunk, you don't quitplaying.
I forgot that car didn't have atrunk.
(31:18):
It has a back seat.
Rip to abby's hips.
She had to ride in the very,very way back.
I've never been in the back ofa station wagon but I have sat
on a wheel well, of a truck or apainting van or painter van.
It sucked real, real bad.
I can only imagine how painfulthat was.
For what?
100 miles takes about two hoursto drive, ugh.
(31:39):
Anyway, they're about to leavethe house.
Laura insists on taking apicture.
The girls start lining up.
Val looks up.
She sees three and I do meanthree blonde haired little girls
, all about the same age, andlike well, weren't there a
little bit?
That's irrelevant.
She sees them.
She didn't say a word.
Val is slowly.
(31:59):
You know she's.
I know I said there'd be aconversation.
I didn't think the conversationwould have that much validity.
Yes, it's all fun and games.
Haha, val likes ghost babies.
Val likes ghost babies.
Val wants to keep the ghostbabies, so they go and get in
the car and guess what happens?
(32:20):
You know what happens If you'veever seen any horror movie ever
in life, at any point in thehistory, ever.
Nothing works.
It won't even turn over.
And I'm thinking, karen, why isit taking you 45 minutes to put
the daggone key in the ignition?
I thought maybe she put herhouse key in it.
No, nothing works.
Everybody is thoroughly freakedout.
Gender scared lily, may.
(32:41):
Scared valine is not abby'sjust like damn, I'm hungry.
So they end up going back intothe house and of course, the
phone doesn't work.
The lights are on, but thephone doesn't work.
Val is slowly giving given thatthat.
Look, I hope you guys arewatching this.
(33:01):
Remember, you can jump onAmazon Prime at any time.
I actually think some ofKnott's Landing is on YouTube.
I think it might be, maybe notthe full episodes, I don't know.
But figure out how to watchthis.
Borrow somebody's password, dosomething.
You got to see this one.
So they go back in and it isdecided that I mean they don't
really have a choice.
They could either walk eight ornine miles down the road in the
(33:23):
pitch black, dark, down a hill,or they can just vibe there and
figure out what to do.
Abby is like I'm.
I said I'm hungry.
Ginger's.
Like I said I don't want tostay here.
Lily may, seconds that.
But what choice do they have?
Luckily, lily may packed acomically large yogi bear,
(33:45):
basically laundry basket worthof food she's.
Oh, there's cupcakes and fruitin there.
All right, lily may.
So they're gonna sit down tosupper.
So they go into the dining roomor dining hall or whatever.
It is a mansion, after all.
I want to be disrespectful totheir rooms.
Light some candles.
Abby's flipping through thebook.
You hear footsteps, you hearpeople, you know somebody's
(34:05):
rattling the door.
So there's like all thisfreaking noise.
Abby starts flipping throughthe book and she's like well, no
, technically.
And if you hear this sort ofeverybody's like abby, shut up,
shut up.
Do you want to end up in achokehold, abby, I will turn you
into an aberration.
If you don't shut the hell up,I will smother you with a pillow
and put you on top of that car.
Do you want to be ghost, abby,or do you want to be breathing
abby?
(34:25):
Stop reading More seducing.
Do something else.
Every time you read a book orcalculate numbers, something
goes amok.
Abby's like all right, cool,fine, whatever I'll sit here.
But only she doesn't.
The door starts jangling.
Somebody's trying to get in thedoor.
She's had enough of this bull.
She snatches the door open.
(34:46):
Tell me why some weirdo jacknicholson's nephew or great
uncle, dressed as a lumberjack,comes bursting in quietly.
I guess he's not bursting it.
He comes in and he's just look.
All he really showed up to dowas say well, why are you here
tonight?
They're like who are you?
I'm the groundskeeper.
I take care of this place.
Why was the door unlocked today?
(35:08):
Doesn't matter.
Can you give us a ride?
I'm on foot.
Will the neighbors give us aride?
I mean, can you help us?
They're not going to come uphere.
Nobody comes up here unlessthey're stupid.
Why are you here?
Because I'm stupid.
Okay, sir, you got to go.
You are good and creepy.
For absolutely no reason youhave got to go.
(35:30):
He looks at Karen.
Everybody wants a piece ofKaren.
Remember when JR wanted her too.
He's like well, I could staythe night if you want.
She's like hard, pass on theway.
I am not that hard up.
I will never be that hard up.
Valene is like man.
He don't know nothing.
She's the only one who's notfreaked out by him.
She's like hell.
(35:50):
He might be a ghost.
At this point Everybody's likewhispering about Valene, because
she is.
She's be very creepy thisepisode.
She even went outside at onepoint to get something out of
the back of the car and mysubtitles said something was
saying mama, mama or mother.
That's not what I heard.
I just heard scraping, butallegedly it was saying Mother,
(36:14):
she wants to be here.
And Lily Mae made that comment.
She was like it doesn't reallymatter if I believe in ghosts or
not.
I don't like this house.
I'm ready to go home, but ifValene thinks some little ghost
babies need her, then I meanthat's a whole nother story.
Mm-mm dude, I swear I've neverseen this, but I'd be damned if
(36:35):
I wasn't right.
Valine is so eager to get theman gone.
She doesn't care what he says,she's always just talking.
He doesn't know what he'stalking about.
She's eager, she volunteers tosleep upstairs.
I think I said earlier theyjust slept downstairs.
But in my mind, if you crazy Idon't want to use the word crazy
lily may is peculiar.
(36:55):
Valine is being mad creepy,absolutely.
Y'all are gonna bunk togetherbecause y'all are family.
The rest of us don't wantanything to do with that and and
I'm right, everybody else isasleep in the living room.
Valine will sleep upstairs.
Tell me why.
She walks in the room and itlooks just like the damn shining
, except there's three littleblonde girls sitting on beds
smiling back at her.
Lily Mae comes in.
(37:16):
She doesn't see anything,talking about how creepy the
room is.
Valene is always so beautiful.
Then they go, oh God, they gointo another room to sleep,
which might be equally as creepy.
Now I feel like that might bedebatable to some people.
Do you sleep in the ghost kidroom or do you sleep in the
adult room?
They go to the adult room andboth of them posted up resting.
(37:39):
Everybody else is asleep in theliving room like nah man.
We're going to be downstairs incase something pop off.
Valene can stay up there withthe ghost babies if she wants.
Lily may have to, becausethat's her mother.
Well, all of a sudden, thatcreepy music starts playing, the
little jewelry box box music.
Valine gets up and she startsfloating.
Not really, she starts humanlywalking towards the window in a
(38:01):
floating like manner.
She's not floating whatever.
I'm trying to pepper.
I'm trying to paint a scene foryou.
You know what I'm saying.
She's looking out the window.
She sees something.
She decides she needs to runout.
If you hear kids, those are myneighbor kids.
They're not at all creepy andthey don't look like caroline
from poltergeist.
So lily may sees her daughterfloating or walking in a trance
(38:26):
like state side note.
John man art looks amazing thisepisode.
The lighting was lighting.
She looks so beautiful, so, butcreepy.
I've said creepy 900 times thisepisode.
The lighting was lighting.
She looks so beautiful, so butcreepy.
I've said creepy 900 times thisepisode.
She's making me uneasy.
Let's use that word somehow oranother.
Val bypasses everybody in theliving room who look like
(38:47):
they're sleeping in veryuncomfortable positions.
She goes into a room.
She starts having aconversation with absolutely
nobody, saying okay, I'll gowith you.
And then you hear all thisruckus.
Lily may is losing her mind,beating on the door, beating on
the door.
Now the other women are airquotes helping, but I can tell
(39:10):
they're not.
It's like if you ever had tolift a couch.
You can tell who's fake lifting.
Or perhaps you're trying toquote unquote.
Hold the elevator.
Only you really don't push thebutton, you just make it look
like it.
But can I, can I blame?
Why, pray tell, would I alloweither her neuroses, her
psychoses or her ghosties comerunning up out the room?
(39:31):
What does that got to do withme?
By the time they get the dooropen, valene, or whomever has
torn this room to shreds, it is.
Things are flipped over.
They are flopped over.
Poltergeists has really come upin there and run amok.
She's gone.
She's run out under a cloak ofdarkness.
Now they got to go run out andlook for her.
When I say they, I mean notAbby, not Ginger, and not Laura,
(39:59):
karen, that's your girl.
Lily Mae, that's your daughter.
We go.
I mean, ain't no sense in usall getting axed, murdered to
death, right?
So Lily Mae has to go into thehouse and light a candle, like
it's 1814.
Put on a hillbilly shawl and goout and holler Valene, valene,
(40:19):
valene is such a good name toy'all, don't you agree?
It's a great name.
You're not going to mix that upwith anything, unless you're me
.
Then I might be like vaccineVanita, val-va-lene, vaseline,
you hear me?
Lean.
Lean is long gone.
If I'm not mistaken, lean is inthe basement.
How she got there from theoutside, I'm sure I don't know.
(40:41):
But lily may and karen spendthe better.
Well, lily may spends a betterpart of three hours searching
for valine.
Karen spends a better part ofthree hours chasing lily may's
chasing Valene.
Eventually, karen's like okay,lily, lily, lily, enough, she's
gone.
Now I'm thinking this is yourbest friend, this is your friend
(41:01):
friend.
Three hours is not nearlyenough time to stop looking for
somebody.
But Karen's like to hell withthat.
This ain't even real ghost,ain't even real.
I'm exhausted.
Lily Mae, sit down.
Your daughter's fine.
She's gonna have to snap out ofit at some point.
And Lily Mae's like no, darling, don't you see?
It's real.
To Valene, she sees threelittle girls who lost their
mother.
Then they lived in the houseall alone all those years, don't
(41:24):
you see?
Once Claire died, she let theother two in.
Now they're looking for theirmother.
And Karen's like so you'resaying they smelled the
desperation in Valene, is thatwhat you're saying?
And Lily Mae's like so you'resaying they smelled the
desperation in Valene.
Is that what you're saying?
And Lily Mae's like yes, mygirl had a baby taken away from
her.
She never got to raise adaughter, so she believes she
(41:46):
has to be with him.
It's the only way she's goingto get to raise kids and Karen's
like what are you saying?
Lily Mae jumps out the windowtalking about she thinks she has
to die to be with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are we watching the same show?
I don't know.
Mind you, valene is in thebasement with three little
(42:07):
Carolannes running around herand it's so cute.
One of them has great rhythm,one of them doesn't, you can
tell.
The last one was like God, Ican't skip very long guys.
Skipping in a circle makes medizzy.
I feel bad.
I understand little girl.
She gets a little bit off beat.
But Valene is just listening tothis music box, letting the
three little girls skip to theloo around her in this very
(42:28):
empty basement.
Valene is eventually joiningthe girls in the ring around
rosie.
That turns into hide and go seewho better to hide than girls.
Children in a house that theylived in for the better part of
100 years.
They know every nook, crannyand crevice and they are having
the time of their afterlife,while valine is having the time
of her current life.
Meanwhile, upstairs, laura andabby and ginger are sitting in
(42:54):
the living room just kind ofdiscussing what's going on with
Valene, when Ginger's like nah,man she's.
I believe her.
I believe she sees something,because as soon as I came in
this house I felt it.
I know there's something wrong.
I started missing baby twonames.
Laura says well, you know, thatwould make sense, because
Valene's mothering instincts arethere, only she's never
(43:16):
actually got to express them.
So she's frustrated andrepressed.
The ghost can tell.
Abby says you really think so,you really believe all this?
Laura's like I don't know,maybe I do, maybe I don't, but I
think it sounds good, makes alot of sense.
I tend to agree with Laura.
That would make the most sense.
However, in order to agree, Ihave to also point out what does
(43:37):
that mean for Laura and Abby?
Specifically, abby must nothave any motherly instincts.
She's like I'm hungry, shedon't really care, and Laura was
focused on the money.
So it's like if it's amothering thing, why aren't all
the mothers feeling something?
Karen might be on that cusp,but Lily Mae?
(43:58):
I'll be damned if Lily Mae'sinstincts aren't 100% on point.
I guess better late than neverwhen it comes to mothering,
because she just can't rest.
She knows something is up.
Sure enough, these little ghostgirls have a plan A rather
devious plan.
Sure enough, these little ghostgirls have a plan, a rather
devious plan.
They plan on ring around therosy Valene halfway to death,
(44:24):
all the way to death.
Actually, they start running upthe stairs.
You know, hey girl, come on,val, I beg you, I beg you, watch
this scene.
If you don't watch anythingelse, make sure you watch the
last 10 minutes of this.
The acting is superb.
It is unnerving, it isheart-wrenching, it is intense,
(44:49):
it is impressive.
Valene makes it all the way upto the roof and poor little Lily
Mae, who's been running aroundfor three hours, chases her up
the roof.
The three little Carol landsare on the ground.
At one point they open the door.
They're like hiding above thestaircase and they open the door
and the look on their face isvery disturbing.
(45:10):
They get up to the roof.
Lily Mae is able to pull arabbit out of a hat, convince
valine not to take a flying leapoff the side.
This is not the place for aswan dog.
My love them.
Kids are looking for me,they're looking for me.
So lily may calls them all byname and I have to admit there's
something about her countryaccent calling their names.
(45:30):
It made me believe like yeah,okay, they're gonna cut the crap
now.
And they did.
So all is well next morning.
Valine is, you know.
She's grinning and bearing itlike well, mama, you saw the
girls too, didn't you?
And and I know she's lying, Iknow lily mae is selling wolf
tickets again, but that's whatshe does and she does it.
(45:51):
Well, she said, of course, whywould I lie?
I saw karen can't read the room.
She's like well, why are youasking her if you saw him?
Why do you care if she saw?
Basically, like valine, are yousure you saw them?
And valine said well, I I'msure.
I'm sure I did.
I just I would feel like acrazy person if I didn't.
And I don't feel like a crazyperson.
And she's smiling in that sweetvaline.
(46:12):
She's lost that weirdness inher eyes, though.
So they go outside all of asudden.
The car works, but laura andthe rest of the girls are
flipping through the polaroidsand laura's low-key disappointed
in the group photo.
She was hoping to see thelittle ghost girls.
She sees nothing.
Abby's like well, you know,don't be so disappointed.
Calm as the day is long.
(46:32):
She hands over polaroid.
Tell me why.
It's the one that laura took atvaline when they first got
there.
She was about to get locked inthat bathroom picture of valine.
Tell me why?
There's three little girlsright behind her.
The big question here is whywas abby so cool about that?
Is abby a ghostbuster?
Is she a ghost hunter?
Did abby put some sort ofvoodoo on this woman?
(46:55):
I don't know, but now I'mlooking at her out the side of
my eye.
This was as good as I thoughtit was going to be.
Actually it was even better.
What a clever way to slip in alittle paranormal activity and
let it be the.
I guess it's mother's pain,it's it's it's valine's state of
(47:18):
mind, which is very interesting.
I've been waiting for her tonot break.
Necessarily I don't want her tobreak down, but it's like I
want her to break out.
She's.
She's had to handle everythingfor so long and we see these
little glimpse of her greatness.
You see little glimpse of hergreatness.
You see little glimpse Of herstanding up for herself, of her
having a voice, and I feel likeshe'd gotten really far.
(47:39):
Then Lily Mae showed up and shekind of had to fold back into
herself a little bit.
Is Val unwell?
No, I mean, since there'spicture proof, she's not.
But also, that void Is a very,very dangerous void.
(48:00):
It pushed her to the limit.
She almost took a swan dot offthe side of a haunted mansion.
I don't know what this meansfor the rest of the season, but
I love this one in there.
I was a little bit nervous thatby episode in episodes in this
would they would have foundabsolutely nothing and then Val
(48:20):
would have to carry the scar ofbeing like y'all.
Remember that time Val wentcrazy.
We went on that road trip.
I thought it'd be one of thosesituations.
I'm kind of glad it's not.
Man, what a good time.
Well done, knots Landing.
I did not see that coming.
It seems so random.
I've never quite seen a showlike this where you throw
(48:42):
paranormal activity into thestoryline, but it makes sense.
All right, guys, this is a funlittle naughty break.
Join me next time as we jumpback into some more vintage
primetime soap opera debaucheryin the meantime.
In between time, if you getlocked in a bathroom and ice
(49:05):
comes through the window, allyou need to see ever again is
your booty and your elbows.
That's country for saying youneed to just start breaking out
running.
You need to run, stay hydrated,stay moisturized, don't get
haunted, mind your business,especially in a haunted house,
(49:26):
and keep all of your drama on TV.
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