April 29, 2025 • 53 mins
Welcome Back Soap Fiends!!The Carringtons prove once again that family drama is their specialty in this rollercoaster episode that delivers equal parts hilarity and triumph. Fallon's mysterious paralysis has everyone walking on eggshells, though the doctors can find no physical cause for her inability to walk. Jeff Colby swoops in like a knight in pastel cashmere, carrying her over thresholds and organizing elaborate picnics in a transparent attempt to rekindle their relationship during her vulnerable state. While Fallon appreciates the attention, her true healing comes from an unexpected source — when baby Blake toddles dangerously close to the swimming pool, maternal instinct overrides whatever psychological blocks were keeping Fallon wheelchair-bound. Meanwhile, Claudia fights her own psychological battles as mysterious deliveries of violets coincide with her anniversary with Matthew. When a manila envelope containing a childhood photo arrives during Fallon's celebration party, Claudia makes the bold decision to fly to South America and confront whatever ghosts are haunting her. The episode's most jaw-dropping moment comes courtesy of Alexis, who invites Kirby to a manipulative lunch where she reveals that Kirby's mother isn't dead as she was told, but institutionalized after committing murder. This bombshell sends Kirby spiraling as she questions her entire family history while still navigating Adam's intense romantic pursuit. Speaking of Adam, his "rapey vibes" (as our host so eloquently puts it) continue to make everyone uncomfortable, though Kirby seems strangely drawn to his intensity. Even villainous Alexis shows her vulnerable side when she feels excluded from Fallon's celebration, breaking down in Dexter's arms and revealing the wounded mother beneath her scheming exterior. This episode proves once again that in the Carrington world, family ties are both the deepest wounds and the strongest bonds.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Baby, we need to talk .
It is your personal decision totake or to not take your
medication.
However, we got to work on thisrapey vibe.
There is a mode.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome or welcome back
to Soap Floor, the officialgathering place for newbies,
(00:21):
novices and OG diehard fans ofthe golden age of primetime.
Gathering place for newbies,novices and OG diehard fans of
the golden age of primetime.
I'm your host, jet, viewing andreviewing the soapiest,
fuzziest primetime storylines of1984.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, sit back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or out of sight.
Tell babe, no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
(00:42):
next 25 to 35 minutes, everyoneelse in earshot.
You can be cool, you can bequiet or you will certainly be
kicked out Because we arewatching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Soap War.
Hello, gorgeous, and welcomeback to another fun little
(01:06):
edition of SoFour.
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I can't lie to y'all if theinterview is a little bit
different today, I have aconfession.
We're all feeling the squeeze.
If you are a member of theUnited States of America, we're
all feeling the squeeze.
So I generally have littleStarbies every week and I've
fallen in love with this wholeoat milk shaken espresso.
(01:28):
It's too many words in that Irefuse to say all of them at all
the same time, but as time hasgone on, I started to feel like
I'm not really feeling theeffects that I need to my energy
and really any different.
It just tastes good.
I find that I don't reallyfinish it.
So I decided to roll the clockback just a little bit and go
back.
Don't really finish it, so Idecided to roll it the clock
back just a little bit and goback to this convenience store
(01:48):
I've been going to.
It's a local chain.
They have incredible coffeesand I jumped into their espresso
.
Baby, tell me why.
I cleaned out my car, my closet, my drawers, all before 9 am
and I'm like, oh, my god, okay,yeah, I'm hopped up on espresso
today.
So I'm gonna use this energy todo something productive.
(02:13):
We are jumping back intodynasty, season 4, episode 19
steps.
Tell me why.
The first thing I thought wasstep by step, day by day, fresh
start over some bishamishamay.
(02:33):
I wonder who the gravelly voicedude was.
Who did all of the 90s sitcoms,especially TJRF on ABC?
Who did that cause I feel likeit's the same song.
If you do Full House, if you doany other song, it's the same
song.
If you do Full House, if you doany other song, it's the same
dude kind of going on with that.
Who is he and how is he Baby?
(02:54):
When I think about theresiduals of that check my God,
he fed three generations off ofthose songs I'm also a little
bit no, I'm not embarrassed,actually, I'm not.
I just can't believe.
I watched him.
I can't even remember whoPatrick Duffy was.
I know he was Uncle, somebodyon Step by Step, but now he's
Bobby.
How the hell?
(03:14):
I didn't know that was Bobby,probably because I watched those
shows by myself.
That is an entirely differentsubject.
But we're going to jump into alittle bit of fan mail.
It seems like there's a littlebit of controversy when it comes
to the all-mail review pageant.
And then we're going to jumpinto season four, episode 19 of
Dynasty Steps.
(03:35):
Go ahead and pour yourself offsomething bubbly and bright, get
you a little snacky poo,whatever's going on to the day,
guess what?
That's not your business rightnow.
Ball it up, chunk it in theback seat and let's focus.
Speaking of focusing, I want tojump into a wonderful piece of
fan mail that, I'm not gonna lie, left me in tears this week.
(03:57):
Dear soapblur, I simply mustextend my gratitude for the
wonderful nostalgia trip you'vegifted me.
I stumbled upon your show whilesearching for a Falcon Crest
recap.
What a treasure to find a placethat celebrates the sheer magic
of vintage primetime drama.
Back in the 80s my husband,carl, and I were newlyweds and
(04:20):
we spent our evenings engrossedin the world of Falcon Crest.
It was storytelling at itsfinest.
Those nights feel like a worldago, but your show has reignited
the spark of those glory days,and for that I thank you.
Now I must get to the heart ofthe matter.
Cole, oh boy, there are certaincharacters who simply cannot be
(04:44):
overlooked, whose presencedemands recognition.
Cole, with his unwaveringintegrity and refusal to back
down in the face of adversity,is exactly the kind of
contestant.
An all-male beauty pageantneeds.
His charm, grit and ability tostand tall against opposing
(05:05):
forces makes him a compellingfigure that must not be ignored.
It would be nothing short of acrime to omit him.
I hope you continue tospotlight the greats of vintage
television.
Soap Lore is a gift and I'mthrilled to be a part of its
audience With admiration andenthusiasm.
Annette, oh my God, annette.
Now why are you going to dosomething like that?
(05:27):
Why are you going to do a thinglike that Now?
I cried.
I'm not going to lie.
This is probably my third timereading it.
I read it to my husband.
I was like, oh my gosh, thankyou so much.
Let me tell you something.
This is part of the aspect ofthe show I never really
anticipated.
I just thought I would come onhere, I would talk, I would view
(05:48):
shows, I would like attractother millennials who never
really seen it but kind of knewwhat it was, and I thought we
would all just sort of catch uptogether.
But you OGs have been just ohmy gosh, you guys are just
amazing.
I love everything about you.
I love everything about you.
I love everything about you.
It is no secret that I wish Iwas Gen X.
(06:10):
I gosh.
I just think about, like, if Ithink about, if I watch 90210
right, that was my bread andbutter from like first, second
grade on if a kid came to metoday and was like, oh my my
gosh, this show was amazing andI got to listen to them like
live it and love it.
It would make me so happy andit just makes me happy that I
(06:31):
make you guys happy.
Thank you so much.
We're not going to go therebecause we have a pretty just
kind of dry bread type episodetoday.
But, annette, thank you so somuch.
I hope you and Carl arereliving the glory days watching
this on Amazon Prime.
Um, falcon Crest is definitelyone of my favorites.
(06:51):
They're all my favorites, butKnotts Landing just threw me for
a loop.
Falcon Crest, I love thestorytelling on all of these
shows, so I fully get it.
I hope you guys are relivingglory days and enjoying your
time.
With that being said, I hopeyou keep listening after this.
I don't fully disagree with you.
Cole has a certain amount oftenacity.
(07:12):
That is attractive.
He has a certain grit.
I fully fully agree with that.
However, I feel like Cole mightshow up, and you know his
Brooks brothers.
Brothers, brooks are not goingto have evening gowns.
There's no razzle dazzle.
They're going to have to wearreally gorgeous suits tailored
to perfection.
(07:32):
And listen, he got the body hedoes.
He's got the jawline.
But I think if you asked him aquestion that was even a little
bit controversial, I think he'dflip out.
That's my whole thing.
That was even a little bitcontroversial.
I think he'd flip out.
That's my whole thing.
It's not that I don't think Coleis fine, but I do think that I
wouldn't respect him.
But I'm starting to realizethis isn't just about me, this
(07:57):
is about all of you.
Like, what do you guys think Ina pageant of soap opera male
baddies?
She's right, annette, you'reright, I can't even sit here in
front.
There's no way you could notinclude Cole.
I just don't think Cole's goingto make it to the semifinals.
I think Cole is so easy to getunder his skin.
Mind you, I'm only on seasonfour.
(08:19):
I don't know if there's amaturation situation where he
grows into himself a little bitmore, I will say, even though I
think his daddy is hotter thanhim, but that's just because of
my age, I think.
I think I don't know.
I think he'd be so easy to getunder your skin.
That's my whole thing.
Him and probably Bobby anddefinitely Steven.
(08:43):
If I felt like putting him inhere, all you'd have to say is
two little words about their dadand they'd lose their mind.
That's what I think.
But what do you guys think?
Go ahead and hit me up in theshow notes.
If you're listening to this onyour phone or something, check
the show notes and you canalways send me a text.
The weird thing is, though, Ican't text back to you, but I
(09:05):
will always, always, alwaysacknowledge you.
You can also email me atSoapLore
S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T atgmailcom.
Soaplorepodcast at gmailcom.
God, I hope I didn't misspellthat, and I will respond to you.
(09:27):
You can send me pictures, allthe things there, and we will
just have a good old time.
All right, guys, that's enoughof my jaw jacking today.
Thank you, annette.
I hope you and Carl are justforever in love, enjoying your
nights.
Let's go ahead and relive allthese glory days, because I'm
enjoying it.
I hope you are too.
Let's jump into season four,episode 19 of Dynasty Steps.
(09:51):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, I need you to know that
my microphone acted a teetotalfool, and the recording you're
hearing now is several, severaldays later.
It's like every time I go tospeak it would faint.
It's like, oh, you thought I'dsay two or three words, pass out
.
I go through the holes a littlequick.
(10:12):
It faint on me, but you knowwhat?
I'm glad this happened, becauseI actually needed to go back
through this episode Because Ibelieve I called it dry toast at
the beginning.
Yes, there's not a tonhappening, but there's always a
lot happening.
If that makes any sense, let'sgo ahead and start from the
beginning.
When last we left, falondiscovered I guess I left this
part out a very sexy chocolatedoctor who I now recognize was
(10:39):
working on Falon.
He goes into her room after shewakes up from her coma.
She kicks her mother out of theroom.
It's very embarrassing, forJeff stays on while the doctor
does like his basic physicalexamination.
Fallon can move her eyes to andfro, she can lift her head up
and down.
Doesn't seem to be have aspinal injury, nothing like that
.
But when we get down to hertippy toes she can't move them.
(11:03):
She can't move her knees, shecannot move anything below her
waist.
It is quite dramatic.
And then we roll into the nextepisode.
The next episode, which is thisepisode, picks up about a week
or so later where Fallon haswoken up, volunteers and
purposes.
She seems to be perfectly fine.
(11:23):
Only she's not whether thisheartbreak, paralysis or what.
She's not able to move her legs.
Blake is talking to sexy blackdoctor who I figured out used to
be on Star Trek, one of themovies.
My dad's a huge Trekkie.
It's a little bit blurry.
It would have been a movie Isaw very, very early on, but
(11:44):
he's definitely in one of those.
And I'm like, okay, I rememberthat mustache now.
Anyway, blake wants to takeFallon home and Dr Sexy is like,
yeah, you could probably takeher home.
There's really nothing more wecan do here.
I have no reason to believethat she's not going to make a
full recovery.
I just don't know when hasanything traumatic or weird
(12:06):
happened to her lately?
And Blake's like well, you know, funny thing is I had to run up
on her ex-boyfriend, right, hetook all this money from me.
He played this whole okie dokewith the horse Woot, wootie,
woot.
I jumped him, or my son doublejumped him, beat him down in the
Denver airport.
Next thing, you know, sherunning out in traffic and
whatnot.
Now she can't walk.
And the doctor's like, yeah,yeah, I think I read something
(12:29):
about that in medical schoolheart.
But you know what I'm saying.
It's just one of those things.
Go ahead and take her home.
There's nothing we can do herenow.
Blake's a little granted I amtaking creative liberties in
that discussion, but that isbasically what they said Doctors
, I take her home.
She might as well be aroundfamiliar people, in a familiar
(12:50):
area where she feels good andsafe, and perhaps she'll snap
out of it there.
Blake's like okay, fine, cool,we'll do that.
Now, most of this episode, ifI'm being quite honest, is it's
a lesson in expectations.
It's a lesson in sort ofseizing the day.
Carpe diem, if you will.
(13:10):
You jump on those momentsbefore those moments have an
opportunity to jump on you andthere is no one who is in better
need of a moment to jump intoif they.
If they hope to have any sortof romantic connection with
Fallon, then Jeffrey Colby.
So of course, blake sends thefinest limo to bring Fallon home
(13:31):
.
He sets her up real, proper Atfirst.
Let me rewind just a little bit.
At the beginning of the episode,fallon has on this jogging suit
and the nurse.
In my mind I'm like'm like oh,this nurse is gonna steal her
clothes.
Because she kept saying oh mygosh, mrs cole, you look so
wonderful, you look amazing, youlook so good in that suit.
And I'm like why is shecomplimenting the suit so hard?
(13:54):
But I think this woman is justtired.
It's probably the end of her12-hour shift.
She's like yeah, girl, you lookgood.
Listen, if anybody's gonna walk, it's gonna be somebody.
Somebody's wearing a suit asfine as yours.
So Fallon is being hyped up bythe staff, by her family,
everybody's sort of tiptoeingaround her.
But it's a weird situation.
(14:14):
It's very delicate, if you will.
They don't know when she'llwalk because there's nothing
actually stopping her fromwalking.
So picture this Blake sends alimo to bring her home.
You know how they do ACarrington welcome is the
biggest of all.
Now, jeff knows he don't knownothing else.
He knows Fallon don't reallywant him like that.
(14:37):
However, the only time shesleeps with him is after a
breakup.
So he has to work fast and inthis particular situation he can
look like the hero if he playshis cards, just so.
So I suppose Jeff goes into hisbedroom and has a conversation
with himself in the mirror andhe's like listen, you're tall,
you're dark, you're handsome,you have amazing hair.
(14:58):
You have about two weeks beforeshe finds a new Booski.
You need to jump in thereimmediately.
You need to be in her likecheap swimwear on a Florida
spring break.
In there, if not only for aweek or a week or two, that's
all you got time for.
So what he does is he shows upwhen the limo comes pulling up
to the mansion.
Jeff goes out to the car and hesays Blake, I want to carry her
(15:21):
into the house, as if he'scarrying her over the proverbial
threshold, hoping sheremembered that one time she
married him.
Maybe she'll feel that luckyagain or unlucky, depending on
who he asks.
So Jeff comes out to the car,he opens the door.
She's of course like oh my gosh, hi, jeff, you're here again to
help me.
Thank you.
So so so much.
(15:42):
Mind you, the last time she metPeter it was because she had
just dissed Jeff after a freshhookup.
But that's neither here northere.
Jeff is not bothered, he's notdeterred.
He is in hard bottoms, in athree-piece suit, and he picks
this girl up from the inside ofa limousine and he walks her all
the way into the house.
So we all know that's at leastthree quarters of a mile from
(16:08):
the driveway to her bedroom orwhatever room she decides to
sleep in.
It's impressive crystal and herfur are impressed.
She's like wow, that's prettycool.
She's gonna be fine, blake.
Everything is gonna be fine.
So Fallon is to be either leftalone or she is to visit with a
(16:28):
physical therapist.
But, like I said before,everybody knows she's mentally
fine.
They just can't figure wherethis paralysis is coming from.
So there's different peoplecome visit her at different
hours of the day.
Everybody has their own agenda.
Most of all they just want tomake sure she's fine, see where
(16:48):
her head's at.
So Jeff comes to visit her firstand you know he's doing these.
In my mind there's no proof ofthis, but in my mind he's
standing in the mirror doingaffirmations I am handsome.
In 10 years time they're goingto make a whole ass Disney
prince after my face.
(17:08):
I can get this girl.
I just have to be myself, whichis exactly what he shouldn't do
.
But he does some version ofthat.
So he goes into his closet.
He finds his finest uh, pastelbutton down.
He wants to appear rugged, notstiff, so he rolls the sleeves
up.
He finds the finest sweatervest money can buy and he enters
(17:31):
Fallon's abode.
Fallon, hi, uh, our son.
Remember that kid.
Remember that time we slepttogether and you got pregnant
one of the three times wetogether.
And well, our kid thinks you'refantastic, thinks you're
wonderful.
Now Fallon is chilling.
I would say she's actuallytaking all of this really,
really well.
She's not really making a fuss.
(17:51):
She seems to be I wouldn't usethe word disturbed.
She seems to be in some sort ofthought, but she seems very
appreciative of all the lovethat everyone is showing her.
So she's chilling in thischaise lounge in this electric
blue, cobalt golden girlsrealness outfit it's like a
super large tunic or whateverfully stretched out on the
(18:15):
chaise and Jeff is working hismagic.
Our son thinks he's wonderfuland she's like she knows it's a
joke.
Obviously, blake can't formfull sentences, but they're
having a very cute back andforth.
You can tell she appreciatesjeff coming in there and you
know what she's looking at.
I'm like you know what?
Jeff is?
Kind of fine, he is kind offine and while I'm on the mend I
(18:38):
might as well find something todo.
So she is entertaining this,even if it's just for the little
while.
I misspoke.
Jeff is not wearing the sweatervest in this scene, but he is
wearing this sort of light pink.
It's like a pinkish tan sweater.
It is cashmere, it is expensive, it is corny, but he looks
(19:01):
amazing in it.
She is still strolled out incobalt blue in this chaise
lounge and they're having thiswhole corny conversation about
how spunky she is and howdifficult and stubborn she could
be.
Raw, raw, raw, because she's a.
She's a carrington, she is atrip and fall carrington.
And oh, if you tell me to jump,I'll swim backwards 12 miles.
(19:25):
Well, that's the thing I admireabout you.
It's all very cute.
What they're insinuating is thatthere is a chance, a snowball's
chance in hell, that fallon isgoing to fall in love with jeff.
We all, I, we are.
I'm sorry.
How many wives has Jeff had infour seasons?
Come on now.
Anyway, they're doing thiswhole very unromantic, very
(19:50):
boring, back and forth when Inotice, oh my God, she's not
holding a muff, she's holding afeline.
The cat looks fantasticallybored by this entire situation,
by the way, and I agree with thesentiment.
So I'm watching this and Irealize, oh my gosh, this must
be by the way.
And I agree with the sentiment.
So I'm watching this and Irealized, oh my gosh, this must
be a very expensive cat.
And then I had this thoughtprobably, I don't know, maybe a
(20:13):
year ago.
A friend of mine reaches outand she's like hey, I'm about to
get this cat, would you mindbeing like a reference for me?
I said yes, of course, thinkingshe's adopting it from the
Humane Society or something.
So about a week later I get thisphone call and it's super
professional.
(20:34):
Actually, I get an email first.
No, I get a phone call firstand the person on the other line
is you know, hey, how are you?
Do you know so-and-so?
Yes, I know so-and-so.
What kind of person is so so,it's a wonderful person.
What's their family like?
They're a great family.
(20:54):
They're very close knit.
Um, how is this person, as amother's person, a mother?
Yeah, she's a mother.
She's really dope, veryinvolved with her kids.
Good, you know by this'm likewait, what is going on now?
Who the hell is this?
The questioning is about 30minutes.
I'm not even joking.
I'm like, wow, how do theyhandle conflict?
How do their finance?
(21:15):
I'm like you know, I'm not intheir wallet like that, and even
if I was, I wouldn't sayanything.
But I mean, clearly she didn'tseem to be struggling.
They're fine.
After this, they sent me a fullsurvey I'm talking like six
pages and this is all for a cat,this is all for a cat.
So she gives the cat and I'mlike, hey, is everything okay?
(21:37):
I kind of feel like, didsomeone call CPS on you?
I don't know what this is about, like everybody's asking all
these questions.
No, it was to adopt thisparticular cat and I'm like,
damn, I didn't realize that wasa whole thing.
It was very dramatic.
But my point is if this is thesame sort of cat which I think
it is you got to jump throughhoopity hoops in the year of our
(21:58):
Lord, 2025, to own one.
Anyway, jeff manages to continueto bore the cat, but he entices
Fallon with a picnic, probablybecause she can't use her legs.
She can't really say no.
He's like yeah, let's have apicnic in a couple of days.
It'll be fantastic.
They indeed have a picnic inthe backyard that looks exactly
(22:21):
like that house that Laura andScooter went to the other day.
I got to get a little bit moreinformation on that.
If any of you OGs know wherethat is, let me know.
It's just so funny to me thatthese would be major stories.
I suppose this is about threeyears difference between this
story and the one on Knott'sLanding, but I also think they
(22:43):
used the same house in seasontwo when Alexis and Blake had
gone overseas, when she wasdating that hot dude who also
turned out to be Julia's firsthusband on Falcon Crest, ahmed
Hadid, I think I can't rememberhis last name.
Anyway, this house is quitepopular.
(23:03):
They have a whole picnic andI'm telling you, the butlers
bring out fake lobster.
They have fruit and whatnot.
They're doing the absolute most.
In the backyard, phile iswearing boots, which I just
don't fully understand.
But the whole purpose of this?
Everybody is tiptoeing aroundher.
Blake comes into the room at onepoint to just chat with her.
(23:23):
Hey, girl, we haven't had oneof our gab fest.
How are you feeling about Peter?
She's embarrassed.
That's how she's feeling.
She's embarrassed.
And once again she got okiedoke by a man who was no longer
interested in her, a man whowanted to get with her
stepmother or her sister-in-law.
She keeps scooping up the exactwrong kind of man and I think
(23:49):
she's a little bit embarrassedabout it.
But she's also trying to holdon to her dignity.
So, after all the picnic andlobster and whatnot and Jeff
trying to woo, woo, woo her back, she's like let me spend a
little bit of time with thischild I had.
She's holding baby Blake by thepool, which is a brilliant idea
if your legs aren't working andshe decides to wind up his toy
(24:10):
truck, which is a big old Macktruck, huge truck Little boys
love trucks and she winds it upthinking it's going to go
straight.
But for some reason it takes asharp turn to the left towards
the pool and baby Blake, who cannow walk.
He's got a full head of hair.
He looks just like a my buddydoll with the hair, because you
(24:30):
know they have the one with thetight little perm rod god perm.
And then they have the one withthe loose leaf hair.
This is a loose leaf, looseleaf hair child.
Baby Blake is walking and he iswalking towards the pool and
she's like hey, hey, hey Blake,I know, blake, blake, don't do
(24:51):
that.
Blake, back up, back up.
Blake is ignoring her becausehe's a little boy, he wants his
truck.
Tell me why.
The truck goes bloop into theswimming pool and you know what,
if Fallon doesn't get her lifetogether, her baby's going to go
bloop.
And then this woman pulled too,so she eventually kicks off the
blanket, she's able to run inher boots and she scoops up her
baby.
Jeff sees it from the door.
(25:11):
That's not funny.
It is funny.
One of the first millennialsever almost drowned in a bath or
in a swimming pool because thiswoman had wound up this
trucking away.
She's able to snap out of asave baby blake and everybody's
like, oh my god, it's sowonderful, so wonderful in fact,
(25:33):
that they're gonna throw her astanky leg party a little bit
later in this episode.
But before we get to that, wegot to talk about a few other
key players.
My girl, claudia the Stallion,is once again fighting for her
life in the land of the quoteunquote sane.
She can't even enjoy breakfastanymore.
(25:54):
She's been getting these boxesfull of violets.
Matthew's on the brain heavy.
It's plaguing her.
She can't even have like anormal episode because people
know she's been in the insaneasylum Not once, but twice.
She threw a whole doll off theside of the building.
It was a whole thing.
What could possibly be theissue now?
So it's morning.
(26:15):
Crystal is showing the maids herfine china.
Hey, y'all look, I just got abox full of napkin rings, aren't
they gorgeous?
She sets them aside.
She continues with thebreakfast buffet.
Claudia comes downstairs and,just like it's like a radar or
something she looks over to herleft.
She sees the box.
She immediately starts to freakout.
(26:36):
Crystal has to choke down herbreakfast with a quickness.
She's like girl, listen, no, no, no, no, no, claudia, calm down
, breathe, baby.
No, no, no, no, claudia, calmdown, breathe, baby, breathe.
These are just my napkin rings.
See, she opens a box.
It is an unassumingmedium-sized white gift box with
an open lid, like a type.
You just you lift the lid off.
It's.
There's nothing spectacularabout it.
But claudia's like girl.
(26:57):
No, no, I know this.
There's something else.
And and crystal feels badbecause, let's be real, crystal
is the one who hooked up withMatthew and sent Claudia to the
insane asylum originally, butnow it's just like girl.
I didn't realize it would comein this box.
I'm sorry, but you don't haveto worry, this is nothing.
Claudia's like no, no, no,crystal, you don't understand.
(27:19):
Today is a very special day.
Today is me and Matthew'sanniversary.
So she's expecting some bull,and that's the thing it's one of
, it's a vibe, it is intuition,is what we would call it.
Today, sometimes you alreadyknow something's going to be
some bull.
Such is the case with our goodfriend Kirby, anders Colby, soon
(27:43):
to be Carrington or Cack.
We'll get back to Claudia by theend of the episode, but we got
to get through Kirby first.
So, man, she's really beenthrough it.
She had the whole toxic shocksyndrome.
She unfortunately lost the baby.
She was really sweating throughthose last few days.
So she's out of the hospital.
She's for real, for real, onthe mend.
(28:10):
I'm not trying to downsize ordownplay Fallon's ailment, but
hers is cerebral.
Kirby has a physical, you know.
She is physically healing, herwomb is healing and, uh, she has
decided.
You know what I'm getting,exactly what I would deserve,
but at the same time I need tomake sure that I deserve the
best.
So if I have to hook up withthis demon dude, I'm going to
make the best of it.
(28:30):
I'm going to at least make sureI get me a kid out of this deal
, and it's going to be Gucci andgolden for all involved.
Now, for whatever reason, onthis show we know the wardrobe
budget must be astronomical, butKirby keeps getting the short
end of the stick.
I don't know what networkLittle House on the Prairie
(28:50):
aired on, but it seems likeKirby is sent to their closet to
get all of her wardrobe.
Granted, she's been pregnant.
She couldn't have been in thehoochie-goochie-la-la-la of the
day, but she's waking up thismorning and she's wearing a
full-on prairie gown I'm talkingbow at the neck.
I don't even see her ankles.
(29:11):
I'm pretty sure she's wearinglike house shoes or something.
But she steps out of her roomand she sees jeanette, one of
the maids, and you know, kirbywas raised by them and her
father was the major domo of allof them, so they have a good
relationship.
She's like hey, miss Jeanette,how you doing?
She's like hi, baby, how youdoing, how you feeling?
I feel better.
I just want to go check onKirby, have you?
(29:33):
I mean, excuse me, I want to gocheck on Fallon.
Have you seen Fallon?
Yeah, girl, she's having thisconversation.
Kirby is with miss jeanette.
Down the hall here comes adam,just chest naked in gray
sweatpants, and I'm thinking ishe coming from the shower or is
(29:55):
he coming from the gym?
I certainly hope he's comingfrom the gym, because what
you're not going to do is tellme that blake carrington and
$200 million.
Shout out to my friend Byron.
Yes, I've done a little diggingbecause I've had a few days
since I started recording this.
You're right, $200 million isnot a billion dollars, which is
very, very close.
(30:15):
It would have been about $798million in 1981, 1984.
I mean very, very close.
He's got a lot of money, but ifhe has this mansion with 52
plus bedrooms or rooms.
At least I hope the bedroomsare en suites.
Surely people aren't using orsharing a hall bathroom, surely?
(30:39):
Anyway, adam comes trollingdown the hall and he interrupts
this conversation between MissJeanette and Kirby and he's like
oh hey, kirby, you're lookingextra sexy.
Adam has a weird kink.
I can't quite put my finger onit, but perhaps it's because
he's from Millings, I don't know.
He's used to seeing girlsprairie like.
(31:02):
I suppose Kirby's like listen,dude, all I want to do is go
visit my girl fallon.
I need to see if she's okay.
We both been in the hospital.
I just want to see what's up.
He's like kirby, kirby, kirby.
Now he's getting.
I don't want to say he'sagitated, but he is excited.
Let's just say that damn near.
Puts kirby in the headlock,pushes her back in the room.
He's like hey, hey, he'stouching her and I don't know
(31:23):
what it is about her quakerrealness gown, but it's got him
all hot and bothered.
He's all turned on and, by theway, this is 1984.
It's very clear that he lookslike jc chazelle from n-sync, so
obviously I'm assuming theaudience thinks he's a
heartthrob, even even thoughhe's a little bit crazy.
Some women are into that and wewill get.
(31:45):
We'll discuss Kirby here in asecond, but he's breathing all
heart.
He's like hey, oh my gosh, thisis so hot.
We're going to have caring toname.
We're going to have everything.
Kirby, now that we're linked uptogether, it's going to be
perfect.
Now I hear him saying I'm gladwe're together, we're going to
conquer this family.
(32:05):
She hears, is that all you wantfrom me is an heir?
I didn't hear him say that, butif that's what you hear, fine,
well then she's like get yourhands off me, get your hands on
me.
Do you really want that, kirby?
Adam, baby, we need to talk.
It is your personal decision totake or to not take your
(32:28):
medication.
However, we got to work on thisrapey vibe.
There is a mode in betweenpredator and just cool guy.
Adam has no in between.
He is either on one or he's not.
He's either on the verge ofkilling and or maiming and or
raping and or setting up someone, or he's not.
(32:51):
You know there's there's ahappy medium.
There's like tired on asaturday morning.
There's like annoyed.
He don't know that he's, he'sall oh, breathing, all hot and
bothered.
So kirby has to make a decision.
She's like oh my God, oh my God.
Oh my God.
To my surprise he leans in forthe kiss and there's something
(33:11):
about his psychosis that she isdigging.
She's like you know what.
This is a lot better thandoormat, let me.
Let me partake in thissituation just a little bit.
So they start smooching,smooooching.
Before you know it it's goingto be on and popping.
In the morning, when thetelephone rings, kirby gets up
and her full laura ingalls,wilder gown, walks over to the
(33:33):
telephone and she, she kind ofcollects herself, looks back at
adam like damn you, fine, he wasgoing to be on now.
This is how we know adam is asex symbol.
They're giving us the falconcrest I'm sexy and I know it.
Pose.
Adam lays fully back on the bed, mind you, he's wearing gray
sweatpants, chest naked, 1984,full toupee on both chesticles
(33:59):
and down his, his upper abdomen.
He leans back.
He is lightly greased.
He is not lorenzo llama's baby.
All down, probably use I wouldsay, uh, probably probably
regular lotion, two coats.
He's laid back.
He's making sure the musclesare popping.
I'm sure he did a couple ofpush-ups before he hit that
corner and he poses.
(34:20):
I swear to you, I swear to you,soap fans, it's like one
locomotive two, locomotive threeoh, we'll pick this up later.
Kirby, okay, we get it.
Adam, you have 16 muscles.
It's a fantastic.
Kirby shakes off her whateveranswers a phone, and it is
Alexis.
Now, meanwhile, back atAlexis's penthouse, she is in
(34:43):
her bathroom I've decided it's afull bench around a jacuzzi tub
and she is being massaged by afull-grown masseuse called mike.
Mike is rubbing all the knotsout the back of her neck because
she's mad tense, because herson is about to fall into this
folly, marrying this riffraffwho is a spawn of the worst
(35:03):
mother butler on history,according to alexis joseph.
So alexis says hey.
Curbs alexis like who is it?
I mean?
Curby's like what is this?
It's alexis, listen, why don'tyou come on over to my house for
lunch?
And curby's like no, no, Ican't.
You know she already knows thisis gonna be some bull, just
(35:24):
like Claudia knows all.
It's me and Matthew'sanniversary.
I already know it's about to besome bull.
Kirby knows Alexis well enoughto know this woman don't like me
.
She definitely didn't want mewith Adam.
This is gonna be some bulls,just like oh, oh, god, ah, I'm
so sorry, alexis, I'm just notfeeling.
(35:46):
Well, alexis is like nonsense.
We're gonna be family.
So Kirby's like is that why youcalled me?
Yes, yes, darling, I'm gonnasend a car for you.
12, 30 be ready for lunch.
The girl says she's on the mend,but does she listen?
No, and this is where adam getsit from.
Alexis isn't rapey per se.
(36:06):
Maybe she is in a differentsense, in a, in a proverbial
sense.
But the aces of the carringtons, they don't listen to nothing.
Okay, you don't want to even begreat, I'll send a car for you.
So kirby has to then decide letme come about this hot gown, let
me go use this whole bathroom,let me wash my body, let me fold
(36:27):
2.7 feet of hair up into a hatso I can look presentable,
because I know this woman'sgoing to read me for filth
regardless.
I see how she bullied Claudiainto some sort of style, but all
Kirby wants to do is live herlife.
All she really wanted to do issay hey, I want to sleep in this
room.
Let me go say hi to Fallon.
I don't want to go back to bed,but Adam and Alexis Carrington
(36:51):
are not allowing that to happentoday.
So she makes it over to Alexis'penthouse.
Now Alexis has everything laidout.
I noticed she always has alittle charcuterie board.
She always has a littlesomething to snack on.
I like seeing this.
I like seeing this.
For one, it is powerful towatch a woman eat on television.
It means she's not reallyfocused not necessarily not
(37:14):
focused, but she's not buyinginto the stereotype that that's
not something she would do.
Also, I have decided that whena woman like Alexis is
constantly snacking, it is sothat she can show you how
inconsequential this meetingbetween you and her is.
You are simply another thingthat is happening during my day.
(37:34):
I'm going to snack on this here.
Food, you're not that important.
Kirby shows up and she hasrolled all that glorious virgin
hair into a hat up, and she hasrolled all that glorious virgin
hair into a hat, pinned it backso she can look presentable.
And alexis removes two silverdomes from two silver trays and,
to her shock and horror, thereare cornish hens.
(37:57):
I didn't order cornish hens, Iordered quail.
So this crap has to go back tothe kitchen now.
I am not a chef, but it seemsto me roasting any sort of fowl
is going to take a little bit oftime.
It ain't like they're gonna goin there and scrape the
mayonnaise off your burger kingburger.
This is gonna be a minute,which was all alexis plan,
because what happened?
What the pa had come by andalexis, of course, insulted him
(38:22):
took you long enough time asmoney.
You cost me way too much of it.
He's like listen, I had to digthrough 20 years worth of news
to find a butler's wife.
She wasn't exactly on the frontpage.
That was a lot of work.
Alexis like yeah, yeah, yeah,whatever, you got what I got.
He's like yeah, I got it.
Cool, get your check and getout, go down the back way.
(38:42):
She's insulting him the wholetime.
I don't know if this man is onthe verge of finding Jesus or
not, because he's kind of got achange of heart.
Mind you, he's a PI.
There's all sorts of do dirtwork that he does.
That is his job.
He is a do dirt guy, but hecounts his cash real quick, like
, and he says Alexis, now, now,what do you gain from doing
(39:02):
these sorts of things?
Do you really want to go aboutyour life ruining other people's
life?
What has this little girl doneto you?
Alexis is like count your moneyand leave.
If I need a conscience, I'llbuy one.
You definitely are not.
It Bounce.
What he has collected isnewspaper articles from 20 plus
years ago.
Again, I feel like anadministrative assistant could
(39:23):
have done that, but she hired aPI.
It's none of my business.
Flashback to the moment at hand.
Kirby showed up with anattitude.
After all, she was raised bythe major Domo.
He was the mother butler.
He was always on Alexis's neckperiod.
He didn't like her, she didn'tlike him.
You know, joseph warned hisdaughter about Alexis.
(39:44):
Curse, she didn't like him.
You know, joseph warned hisdaughter about alexis.
So alexis says you know, kirby,whether you believe it or not, I
truly admire you.
I recall how you were aninterpreter for my son.
I think you could be a valuableasset to my company.
Why don't you go to paris andyou can live in one of my
apartments?
I'm going to make sure you havea ridiculously obscene salary
(40:09):
and you can be an interpreterfor Colby Co.
It'll be fantastic.
Kirby is not in the mood.
Alexis, I'm not doing that.
You just don't want me marryingyour son.
I'm going to do that either waybecause, guess what, I'm tired
of being the downstairs wife.
I'm gonna be the upstairs,downstairs, downtown, outside.
Whoever wife, whoever c name Ihave to what marry, I'm gonna do
(40:34):
it.
I'm gonna have a baby.
I'm gonna collect checks forthe rest of my life.
That's how that.
That's how this is going to go.
Well, alexis is pissed andthere's no doubt that she had
planned on this because she'slike Kirby if I were you, I
wouldn't have any babies.
I certainly wouldn't have anybabies with Adam.
I would adopt a kid if I wereyou.
Now Kirby's like now, wait aminute.
(40:56):
What you're not going to do isdisrespect my deceased father.
He is just as righteous, isjust as worthy as any of you.
Nincompoops.
Alexis pops a little somethingin her mouth.
Girl, I'm not talking aboutyour daddy, I'm talking about
your mama.
What are you talking about?
My mom passed away when I wassix months old, when I was a
baby.
(41:16):
Alexis is like, au contraire,not so.
Your mother had a whole lover,pissed her off.
She messed around, killed him.
She in jail.
Your mama is in jail.
She ain't dead.
She in jail.
Kirby starts to flip out alexisand then pulls out her receipt.
(41:37):
Now this?
Now I'm watching this, mind you, my jaw is just dropping
everywhere.
She says wait, wait, what, what, what?
I don't know what I thought thewhole situation.
I'm watching this, mind you.
My jaw is just droppingEverywhere.
She's in the way.
Wait, what, what, what?
I don't know what.
I thought the whole situationwas going to be with Kirby's
mother.
I just it didn't seem thatimportant to me.
But whoever wrote this, kudosto you.
That makes a lot of sense.
She's not dead, she's in aninsane asylum.
(41:57):
That's the part she left out.
Alexis's point is like hey, youmight need to look at your
family tree because your mamawas nuts enough to kill a dude
and now she in an insane asylum.
I would argue that that wouldbe the outcome, regardless, even
if Kirby's mother was the mostsane person on earth, because
(42:19):
the Carrington side is good andkookaloo.
You got the trip and and fallCarrington's ie, blake, stephen
and Fallon, and then you got thejust we crazy in your face.
You're going to beat us up.
We're going to select the fool,carrington's in, adam and
Alexis.
So, regardless, there is a highprobability of tripping and
(42:39):
falling somebody to death.
Or Blake tried to beat a manallegedly His stunt double beat
a man to death back in 1965,allegedly or tried to.
If we're going to call crazy,it's crazy on both sides.
That's all I'm saying.
Kirby is so fraught, she's soobsessed she runs back to the
mansion and she tells Blake yourex-wife ain't his man.
(43:04):
She told me my daddy was deadand then she said that my mama
was crazy.
Is she alive?
Maybe I'm a little bit moreopen-minded, but hey, having an
insane asylum mother iswonderful.
Look at baby Danny.
He could have been stuck withHeather Locklear before her
(43:25):
Melrose Place fame.
Or you get a woman who hastwice visited the insane asylum.
The insane asylum was very chicin the 80s, apparently.
Go for it.
Everybody needs a littlekookaloo in their family.
This is all horrible news.
This is all terrible, and youknow what's worse.
Oh, this is all horrible news.
This is all terrible, and youknow what's worse.
(43:46):
Alexis is kind of doing this forno reason.
She doesn't want adam to bewith kirby.
Fair enough, but it's like, whypick it?
Why pick at this one now?
Normally I wouldn't feel badfor her, but I do because blake
had called.
She'd gone to visit blake atsome point at the beginning of
the episode.
She told him all about Adam.
He didn't really care.
He's like listen, we'reprobably going to throw
(44:07):
something when Fallon startswalking.
Maybe they decided to have aparty beforehand, or whatever.
He just wanted Alexis to comeby and visit Fallon so that she
knew Fallon would know that hermother supported her.
And Alexis confides in Blake.
Listen at.
At the hospital she kicked meout.
It was really embarrassing.
She told me not to come intoher room, so I don't think she's
(44:30):
gonna want me at her party.
By the end of the episode, wordis spread that fallon is walking
.
They're gonna have an entiresituation for her.
They're gonna have a really funtime time.
Only, alexis doesn't feelcomfortable going.
She goes home and she getsschnockered.
Instead, dexter comes by andhe's like baby girl, what's
(44:50):
wrong with you?
Why are you in here cooped up?
Why are you acting this way?
You're acting funny.
She bursts into tears becauseFallon don't want her at the
party.
Allegedly she didn't really ask, but it's interesting to see
this vulnerable moment.
You see this moment where she'skind of collapsing into herself
because she really does wanther children's approval and I
(45:10):
can say up until now she's been.
Be fair, she has not beenawesome to Adam, but she seems
to be trying to redeem herselfbecause he has that trump card.
At the end of the day, you lefthim out in the rain.
Side note I found out recentlythis was a very common thing not
to leave kids out in the rain.
But if women were shopping inthe 50s, 40s, 60s, it wasn't
(45:31):
uncommon to just leave your kidoutside in a baby buggy, for the
elements, I guess.
So they don't ruin the ambience, I don't know.
In case you didn't want to,just walk, can just walk by, I
don't know.
Either way she is.
Alexis is crying and justthrowing herself into Dexter's
arm and he's there to justcomfort and love her.
(45:52):
It's so beautiful, it's so cute.
But let's get to the stanky legparty.
So meanwhile, across town, atthe mansion, everyone is
celebrating oh my God, my god,you can walk now.
I felt in my spirit that thebible's like there she go again.
Now we celebrate.
(46:12):
They celebrate the most mundanethings crystals there, kobe's
there, kirby's there, uh, adam'sthere, everybody's.
Hey, that's so great, so good.
Are you?
You're walking.
Let me just reverse just alittle bit.
There was a tiny little scenebetween Stephen and Adam that I
really enjoyed.
So Stephen comes bursting intoAdam's office at oh I forget.
(46:37):
Does Stephen work forCarrington?
Does he work for Denver andCarrington, or Colby Co?
He probably works for otherCarringtons.
He comes bursting into ColbyCoe's offices with.
No, that's not right.
No god, this is what irritates.
There's so much back and forthbetween the men on the show and
where they work.
Adam works at Carrington, atDenver Carrington, because Tracy
(47:02):
works there and they had amoment, so Stephen must still
work for Colby Co.
Stephen comes bursting intoAdam's office at Denver
Carrington.
He's like yo, bro, what'd youdo with all my paperwork?
I know you took it when youleft.
And Adam's like hi, stephen,how's your day?
Stephen?
He tries to check him.
He tries to send him.
I'm still your big brother.
What do you want?
(47:23):
Steven goes into man.
I know, I know you left.
You took my paperwork.
Blah, blah, blah.
Adam's like let me gently remindyou new face.
Don't get those fresh suturesslapped smooth off the side of
your freshly adhered face.
That was my work.
I allowed you to be a part ofit because you were my baby
(47:45):
brother.
But please, one thing's forcertain, two things for sure I'm
not the one I will paint youinto a coma like that.
And number two that was my work.
Please, please, don't getamnesia.
It's one thing.
You got a new face.
Don't get a new memory.
Don't act random with me.
That's my work.
Don't get a new memory.
(48:09):
Don't act randy with me.
That's my work.
Don't act a fool.
He says that in so many wordsand steven's like well, one day
you'll be out on the, you'll beexactly where you belong out on
the curve.
I'm like y'all stop, push, stop.
This man is nuts.
What you need to do is approachhim square on and calmly, and
this is another thing.
This is that whole steven ismaturing in a way that should be
interesting and it is a littlebit.
But it's like it's just kind ofpopping off on the wrong people
.
I don't really like the dogpile on Adam, never mind the
(48:31):
fact that he painted acornucopia of confusion and
poison.
It happens, you know I'm sayingit happens.
So back to this party.
Everybody's having a good time.
When one of the hired helps,helps.
One of the servants comes inhere.
Hey, claudia, something camefor you.
(48:52):
It's a, it's a manila envelope.
Why you would deliver thisduring a party, I don't know.
Why couldn't you just drop thisoutside of her bedroom?
Why do you interrupt Stalin's,stalin's, fallon's stanky leg
moment to drop off this manilaenvelope?
Well, claudia opens theenvelope and I'm a fool when she
opens it.
It's.
It's a kid, I thought it wasLindsay and I'm like, oh my god,
(49:14):
lindsay's a lot.
No, no, my mistake, it'sactually Claudia as a child.
Now, what this means, I reallyI'm sure I don't know.
Stephen comes in the room,claudia shows him the photograph
and he's like, well, I muchprefer you.
Now I'm like Stephen, why wouldshe Come on now?
(49:35):
I think this woman has beenharassed for the last few days,
at least a week or two.
Don't you think it's weirdsomeone sending her a picture?
He didn't really fully take itthe way.
I would have enjoyed it.
But I'm looking at this andit's her as a little kid.
First off she looks exactly thesame, but it gave me the same
(49:56):
vibe as Knott's Landing.
I can't remember the name of theepisode.
I called it the floral fixation, where Ginger went back to her
what would have been hermother-in-law had the boyfriend
not passed away and she wassending all the marigolds and
all the chrysanthemums to Gingerand all these baby crowd.
It kind of felt like that.
(50:17):
Now Claudia did go and visither mother-in-law her
ex-mother-in-law last episodeand I didn't get the vibe.
Of course there could be somefancy writing.
I didn't get the vibe that themother-in-law would be the
person sending her all thisstuff?
But also, why would she be onthe show?
But also, why would you recyclethat storyline a mere three
(50:39):
years later?
I guess that's long enough forpeople to forget.
I guess I don't know.
But either way, by the end ofthe episode Claudia has decided
to carpe diem.
She's not going to wait aroundfor someone to believe her.
She knows it's theiranniversary.
She knows someone has beenharassing her.
She knows that this is onlygoing to get creepier and
(51:00):
creepier, and weirder andweirder.
I swear I hope Matthew's notback on the show.
I just don't see how that couldbenefit anybody.
But for better or for worse,she's going to hop on the first
thing smoking with this newCarrington money.
She's going to fly down toSouth America and get to the
bottom of it.
End scene.
Ooh, not bad right, a littlebetter than dry toast.
(51:25):
It was buttered up quite a bitand it sounds like we got a lot
of action that is stacking up onthe back end of this season.
This is going to be episode 20.
There's either 24 or 28episodes.
I think there's only 24.
So we're quickly closing in tothe end of season four of
dynasty.
I don't't know about you, butI'm having a very good time.
I love the changing of the tidethis season, where it's just
(51:51):
fun.
It's just fun, it's funny.
Everybody is shiny, sparklingand amazing and I am really
eager to see what happens.
All right, guys, I want tothank you so much for your
patience.
I know it's been a little bitsince I posted the last show.
Bunch of unforeseeable eventshappened, but I'm going to make
it up to you.
We're going to go ahead anddouble scoop this.
I'm going to dog pile on asmany episodes as possible.
(52:13):
I think that's going to be.
That's it.
That's all.
In the meantime, in betweentime, there really is no such
thing as a free lunch.
If you get a call from amother-in-law who would be from
hell, go ahead and tell her youhave irreversible bowels, I
don't know.
Make up something nasty andsweaty.
Hopefully she'll mind herbusiness.
(52:35):
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
keep all of your drama on TV.
Thank you, outro Music.
Baby, we need to talk .
It is your personal decision totake or to not take your
medication.
However, we got to work on thisrapey vibe.
There is a mode.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome or welcome back
to Soap Floor, the officialgathering place for newbies,
(00:21):
novices and OG diehard fans ofthe golden age of primetime.
Gathering place for newbies,novices and OG diehard fans of
the golden age of primetime.
I'm your host, jet, viewing andreviewing the soapiest,
fuzziest primetime storylines of1984.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, sit back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or out of sight.
Tell babe, no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
(00:42):
next 25 to 35 minutes, everyoneelse in earshot.
You can be cool, you can bequiet or you will certainly be
kicked out Because we arewatching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Soap War.
Hello, gorgeous, and welcomeback to another fun little
(01:06):
edition of SoFour.
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I can't lie to y'all if theinterview is a little bit
different today, I have aconfession.
We're all feeling the squeeze.
If you are a member of theUnited States of America, we're
all feeling the squeeze.
So I generally have littleStarbies every week and I've
fallen in love with this wholeoat milk shaken espresso.
(01:28):
It's too many words in that Irefuse to say all of them at all
the same time, but as time hasgone on, I started to feel like
I'm not really feeling theeffects that I need to my energy
and really any different.
It just tastes good.
I find that I don't reallyfinish it.
So I decided to roll the clockback just a little bit and go
back.
Don't really finish it, so Idecided to roll it the clock
back just a little bit and goback to this convenience store
(01:48):
I've been going to.
It's a local chain.
They have incredible coffeesand I jumped into their espresso
.
Baby, tell me why.
I cleaned out my car, my closet, my drawers, all before 9 am
and I'm like, oh, my god, okay,yeah, I'm hopped up on espresso
today.
So I'm gonna use this energy todo something productive.
(02:13):
We are jumping back intodynasty, season 4, episode 19
steps.
Tell me why.
The first thing I thought wasstep by step, day by day, fresh
start over some bishamishamay.
(02:33):
I wonder who the gravelly voicedude was.
Who did all of the 90s sitcoms,especially TJRF on ABC?
Who did that cause I feel likeit's the same song.
If you do Full House, if you doany other song, it's the same
song.
If you do Full House, if you doany other song, it's the same
dude kind of going on with that.
Who is he and how is he Baby?
(02:54):
When I think about theresiduals of that check my God,
he fed three generations off ofthose songs I'm also a little
bit no, I'm not embarrassed,actually, I'm not.
I just can't believe.
I watched him.
I can't even remember whoPatrick Duffy was.
I know he was Uncle, somebodyon Step by Step, but now he's
Bobby.
How the hell?
(03:14):
I didn't know that was Bobby,probably because I watched those
shows by myself.
That is an entirely differentsubject.
But we're going to jump into alittle bit of fan mail.
It seems like there's a littlebit of controversy when it comes
to the all-mail review pageant.
And then we're going to jumpinto season four, episode 19 of
Dynasty Steps.
(03:35):
Go ahead and pour yourself offsomething bubbly and bright, get
you a little snacky poo,whatever's going on to the day,
guess what?
That's not your business rightnow.
Ball it up, chunk it in theback seat and let's focus.
Speaking of focusing, I want tojump into a wonderful piece of
fan mail that, I'm not gonna lie, left me in tears this week.
(03:57):
Dear soapblur, I simply mustextend my gratitude for the
wonderful nostalgia trip you'vegifted me.
I stumbled upon your show whilesearching for a Falcon Crest
recap.
What a treasure to find a placethat celebrates the sheer magic
of vintage primetime drama.
Back in the 80s my husband,carl, and I were newlyweds and
(04:20):
we spent our evenings engrossedin the world of Falcon Crest.
It was storytelling at itsfinest.
Those nights feel like a worldago, but your show has reignited
the spark of those glory days,and for that I thank you.
Now I must get to the heart ofthe matter.
Cole, oh boy, there are certaincharacters who simply cannot be
(04:44):
overlooked, whose presencedemands recognition.
Cole, with his unwaveringintegrity and refusal to back
down in the face of adversity,is exactly the kind of
contestant.
An all-male beauty pageantneeds.
His charm, grit and ability tostand tall against opposing
(05:05):
forces makes him a compellingfigure that must not be ignored.
It would be nothing short of acrime to omit him.
I hope you continue tospotlight the greats of vintage
television.
Soap Lore is a gift and I'mthrilled to be a part of its
audience With admiration andenthusiasm.
Annette, oh my God, annette.
Now why are you going to dosomething like that?
(05:27):
Why are you going to do a thinglike that Now?
I cried.
I'm not going to lie.
This is probably my third timereading it.
I read it to my husband.
I was like, oh my gosh, thankyou so much.
Let me tell you something.
This is part of the aspect ofthe show I never really
anticipated.
I just thought I would come onhere, I would talk, I would view
(05:48):
shows, I would like attractother millennials who never
really seen it but kind of knewwhat it was, and I thought we
would all just sort of catch uptogether.
But you OGs have been just ohmy gosh, you guys are just
amazing.
I love everything about you.
I love everything about you.
I love everything about you.
It is no secret that I wish Iwas Gen X.
(06:10):
I gosh.
I just think about, like, if Ithink about, if I watch 90210
right, that was my bread andbutter from like first, second
grade on if a kid came to metoday and was like, oh my my
gosh, this show was amazing andI got to listen to them like
live it and love it.
It would make me so happy andit just makes me happy that I
(06:31):
make you guys happy.
Thank you so much.
We're not going to go therebecause we have a pretty just
kind of dry bread type episodetoday.
But, annette, thank you so somuch.
I hope you and Carl arereliving the glory days watching
this on Amazon Prime.
Um, falcon Crest is definitelyone of my favorites.
(06:51):
They're all my favorites, butKnotts Landing just threw me for
a loop.
Falcon Crest, I love thestorytelling on all of these
shows, so I fully get it.
I hope you guys are relivingglory days and enjoying your
time.
With that being said, I hopeyou keep listening after this.
I don't fully disagree with you.
Cole has a certain amount oftenacity.
(07:12):
That is attractive.
He has a certain grit.
I fully fully agree with that.
However, I feel like Cole mightshow up, and you know his
Brooks brothers.
Brothers, brooks are not goingto have evening gowns.
There's no razzle dazzle.
They're going to have to wearreally gorgeous suits tailored
to perfection.
(07:32):
And listen, he got the body hedoes.
He's got the jawline.
But I think if you asked him aquestion that was even a little
bit controversial, I think he'dflip out.
That's my whole thing.
That was even a little bitcontroversial.
I think he'd flip out.
That's my whole thing.
It's not that I don't think Coleis fine, but I do think that I
wouldn't respect him.
But I'm starting to realizethis isn't just about me, this
(07:57):
is about all of you.
Like, what do you guys think Ina pageant of soap opera male
baddies?
She's right, annette, you'reright, I can't even sit here in
front.
There's no way you could notinclude Cole.
I just don't think Cole's goingto make it to the semifinals.
I think Cole is so easy to getunder his skin.
Mind you, I'm only on seasonfour.
(08:19):
I don't know if there's amaturation situation where he
grows into himself a little bitmore, I will say, even though I
think his daddy is hotter thanhim, but that's just because of
my age, I think.
I think I don't know.
I think he'd be so easy to getunder your skin.
That's my whole thing.
Him and probably Bobby anddefinitely Steven.
(08:43):
If I felt like putting him inhere, all you'd have to say is
two little words about their dadand they'd lose their mind.
That's what I think.
But what do you guys think?
Go ahead and hit me up in theshow notes.
If you're listening to this onyour phone or something, check
the show notes and you canalways send me a text.
The weird thing is, though, Ican't text back to you, but I
(09:05):
will always, always, alwaysacknowledge you.
You can also email me atSoapLore
S-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T atgmailcom.
Soaplorepodcast at gmailcom.
God, I hope I didn't misspellthat, and I will respond to you.
(09:27):
You can send me pictures, allthe things there, and we will
just have a good old time.
All right, guys, that's enoughof my jaw jacking today.
Thank you, annette.
I hope you and Carl are justforever in love, enjoying your
nights.
Let's go ahead and relive allthese glory days, because I'm
enjoying it.
I hope you are too.
Let's jump into season four,episode 19 of Dynasty Steps.
(09:51):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, I need you to know that
my microphone acted a teetotalfool, and the recording you're
hearing now is several, severaldays later.
It's like every time I go tospeak it would faint.
It's like, oh, you thought I'dsay two or three words, pass out
.
I go through the holes a littlequick.
(10:12):
It faint on me, but you knowwhat?
I'm glad this happened, becauseI actually needed to go back
through this episode Because Ibelieve I called it dry toast at
the beginning.
Yes, there's not a tonhappening, but there's always a
lot happening.
If that makes any sense, let'sgo ahead and start from the
beginning.
When last we left, falondiscovered I guess I left this
part out a very sexy chocolatedoctor who I now recognize was
(10:39):
working on Falon.
He goes into her room after shewakes up from her coma.
She kicks her mother out of theroom.
It's very embarrassing, forJeff stays on while the doctor
does like his basic physicalexamination.
Fallon can move her eyes to andfro, she can lift her head up
and down.
Doesn't seem to be have aspinal injury, nothing like that
.
But when we get down to hertippy toes she can't move them.
(11:03):
She can't move her knees, shecannot move anything below her
waist.
It is quite dramatic.
And then we roll into the nextepisode.
The next episode, which is thisepisode, picks up about a week
or so later where Fallon haswoken up, volunteers and
purposes.
She seems to be perfectly fine.
(11:23):
Only she's not whether thisheartbreak, paralysis or what.
She's not able to move her legs.
Blake is talking to sexy blackdoctor who I figured out used to
be on Star Trek, one of themovies.
My dad's a huge Trekkie.
It's a little bit blurry.
It would have been a movie Isaw very, very early on, but
(11:44):
he's definitely in one of those.
And I'm like, okay, I rememberthat mustache now.
Anyway, blake wants to takeFallon home and Dr Sexy is like,
yeah, you could probably takeher home.
There's really nothing more wecan do here.
I have no reason to believethat she's not going to make a
full recovery.
I just don't know when hasanything traumatic or weird
(12:06):
happened to her lately?
And Blake's like well, you know, funny thing is I had to run up
on her ex-boyfriend, right, hetook all this money from me.
He played this whole okie dokewith the horse Woot, wootie,
woot.
I jumped him, or my son doublejumped him, beat him down in the
Denver airport.
Next thing, you know, sherunning out in traffic and
whatnot.
Now she can't walk.
And the doctor's like, yeah,yeah, I think I read something
(12:29):
about that in medical schoolheart.
But you know what I'm saying.
It's just one of those things.
Go ahead and take her home.
There's nothing we can do herenow.
Blake's a little granted I amtaking creative liberties in
that discussion, but that isbasically what they said Doctors
, I take her home.
She might as well be aroundfamiliar people, in a familiar
(12:50):
area where she feels good andsafe, and perhaps she'll snap
out of it there.
Blake's like okay, fine, cool,we'll do that.
Now, most of this episode, ifI'm being quite honest, is it's
a lesson in expectations.
It's a lesson in sort ofseizing the day.
Carpe diem, if you will.
(13:10):
You jump on those momentsbefore those moments have an
opportunity to jump on you andthere is no one who is in better
need of a moment to jump intoif they.
If they hope to have any sortof romantic connection with
Fallon, then Jeffrey Colby.
So of course, blake sends thefinest limo to bring Fallon home
(13:31):
.
He sets her up real, proper Atfirst.
Let me rewind just a little bit.
At the beginning of the episode,fallon has on this jogging suit
and the nurse.
In my mind I'm like'm like oh,this nurse is gonna steal her
clothes.
Because she kept saying oh mygosh, mrs cole, you look so
wonderful, you look amazing, youlook so good in that suit.
And I'm like why is shecomplimenting the suit so hard?
(13:54):
But I think this woman is justtired.
It's probably the end of her12-hour shift.
She's like yeah, girl, you lookgood.
Listen, if anybody's gonna walk, it's gonna be somebody.
Somebody's wearing a suit asfine as yours.
So Fallon is being hyped up bythe staff, by her family,
everybody's sort of tiptoeingaround her.
But it's a weird situation.
(14:14):
It's very delicate, if you will.
They don't know when she'llwalk because there's nothing
actually stopping her fromwalking.
So picture this Blake sends alimo to bring her home.
You know how they do ACarrington welcome is the
biggest of all.
Now, jeff knows he don't knownothing else.
He knows Fallon don't reallywant him like that.
(14:37):
However, the only time shesleeps with him is after a
breakup.
So he has to work fast and inthis particular situation he can
look like the hero if he playshis cards, just so.
So I suppose Jeff goes into hisbedroom and has a conversation
with himself in the mirror andhe's like listen, you're tall,
you're dark, you're handsome,you have amazing hair.
(14:58):
You have about two weeks beforeshe finds a new Booski.
You need to jump in thereimmediately.
You need to be in her likecheap swimwear on a Florida
spring break.
In there, if not only for aweek or a week or two, that's
all you got time for.
So what he does is he shows upwhen the limo comes pulling up
to the mansion.
Jeff goes out to the car and hesays Blake, I want to carry her
(15:21):
into the house, as if he'scarrying her over the proverbial
threshold, hoping sheremembered that one time she
married him.
Maybe she'll feel that luckyagain or unlucky, depending on
who he asks.
So Jeff comes out to the car,he opens the door.
She's of course like oh my gosh, hi, jeff, you're here again to
help me.
Thank you.
So so so much.
(15:42):
Mind you, the last time she metPeter it was because she had
just dissed Jeff after a freshhookup.
But that's neither here northere.
Jeff is not bothered, he's notdeterred.
He is in hard bottoms, in athree-piece suit, and he picks
this girl up from the inside ofa limousine and he walks her all
the way into the house.
So we all know that's at leastthree quarters of a mile from
(16:08):
the driveway to her bedroom orwhatever room she decides to
sleep in.
It's impressive crystal and herfur are impressed.
She's like wow, that's prettycool.
She's gonna be fine, blake.
Everything is gonna be fine.
So Fallon is to be either leftalone or she is to visit with a
(16:28):
physical therapist.
But, like I said before,everybody knows she's mentally
fine.
They just can't figure wherethis paralysis is coming from.
So there's different peoplecome visit her at different
hours of the day.
Everybody has their own agenda.
Most of all they just want tomake sure she's fine, see where
(16:48):
her head's at.
So Jeff comes to visit her firstand you know he's doing these.
In my mind there's no proof ofthis, but in my mind he's
standing in the mirror doingaffirmations I am handsome.
In 10 years time they're goingto make a whole ass Disney
prince after my face.
(17:08):
I can get this girl.
I just have to be myself, whichis exactly what he shouldn't do
.
But he does some version ofthat.
So he goes into his closet.
He finds his finest uh, pastelbutton down.
He wants to appear rugged, notstiff, so he rolls the sleeves
up.
He finds the finest sweatervest money can buy and he enters
(17:31):
Fallon's abode.
Fallon, hi, uh, our son.
Remember that kid.
Remember that time we slepttogether and you got pregnant
one of the three times wetogether.
And well, our kid thinks you'refantastic, thinks you're
wonderful.
Now Fallon is chilling.
I would say she's actuallytaking all of this really,
really well.
She's not really making a fuss.
(17:51):
She seems to be I wouldn't usethe word disturbed.
She seems to be in some sort ofthought, but she seems very
appreciative of all the lovethat everyone is showing her.
So she's chilling in thischaise lounge in this electric
blue, cobalt golden girlsrealness outfit it's like a
super large tunic or whateverfully stretched out on the
(18:15):
chaise and Jeff is working hismagic.
Our son thinks he's wonderfuland she's like she knows it's a
joke.
Obviously, blake can't formfull sentences, but they're
having a very cute back andforth.
You can tell she appreciatesjeff coming in there and you
know what she's looking at.
I'm like you know what?
Jeff is?
Kind of fine, he is kind offine and while I'm on the mend I
(18:38):
might as well find something todo.
So she is entertaining this,even if it's just for the little
while.
I misspoke.
Jeff is not wearing the sweatervest in this scene, but he is
wearing this sort of light pink.
It's like a pinkish tan sweater.
It is cashmere, it is expensive, it is corny, but he looks
(19:01):
amazing in it.
She is still strolled out incobalt blue in this chaise
lounge and they're having thiswhole corny conversation about
how spunky she is and howdifficult and stubborn she could
be.
Raw, raw, raw, because she's a.
She's a carrington, she is atrip and fall carrington.
And oh, if you tell me to jump,I'll swim backwards 12 miles.
(19:25):
Well, that's the thing I admireabout you.
It's all very cute.
What they're insinuating is thatthere is a chance, a snowball's
chance in hell, that fallon isgoing to fall in love with jeff.
We all, I, we are.
I'm sorry.
How many wives has Jeff had infour seasons?
Come on now.
Anyway, they're doing thiswhole very unromantic, very
(19:50):
boring, back and forth when Inotice, oh my God, she's not
holding a muff, she's holding afeline.
The cat looks fantasticallybored by this entire situation,
by the way, and I agree with thesentiment.
So I'm watching this and Irealize, oh my gosh, this must
be by the way.
And I agree with the sentiment.
So I'm watching this and Irealized, oh my gosh, this must
be a very expensive cat.
And then I had this thoughtprobably, I don't know, maybe a
(20:13):
year ago.
A friend of mine reaches outand she's like hey, I'm about to
get this cat, would you mindbeing like a reference for me?
I said yes, of course, thinkingshe's adopting it from the
Humane Society or something.
So about a week later I get thisphone call and it's super
professional.
(20:34):
Actually, I get an email first.
No, I get a phone call firstand the person on the other line
is you know, hey, how are you?
Do you know so-and-so?
Yes, I know so-and-so.
What kind of person is so so,it's a wonderful person.
What's their family like?
They're a great family.
(20:54):
They're very close knit.
Um, how is this person, as amother's person, a mother?
Yeah, she's a mother.
She's really dope, veryinvolved with her kids.
Good, you know by this'm likewait, what is going on now?
Who the hell is this?
The questioning is about 30minutes.
I'm not even joking.
I'm like, wow, how do theyhandle conflict?
How do their finance?
(21:15):
I'm like you know, I'm not intheir wallet like that, and even
if I was, I wouldn't sayanything.
But I mean, clearly she didn'tseem to be struggling.
They're fine.
After this, they sent me a fullsurvey I'm talking like six
pages and this is all for a cat,this is all for a cat.
So she gives the cat and I'mlike, hey, is everything okay?
(21:37):
I kind of feel like, didsomeone call CPS on you?
I don't know what this is about, like everybody's asking all
these questions.
No, it was to adopt thisparticular cat and I'm like,
damn, I didn't realize that wasa whole thing.
It was very dramatic.
But my point is if this is thesame sort of cat which I think
it is you got to jump throughhoopity hoops in the year of our
(21:58):
Lord, 2025, to own one.
Anyway, jeff manages to continueto bore the cat, but he entices
Fallon with a picnic, probablybecause she can't use her legs.
She can't really say no.
He's like yeah, let's have apicnic in a couple of days.
It'll be fantastic.
They indeed have a picnic inthe backyard that looks exactly
(22:21):
like that house that Laura andScooter went to the other day.
I got to get a little bit moreinformation on that.
If any of you OGs know wherethat is, let me know.
It's just so funny to me thatthese would be major stories.
I suppose this is about threeyears difference between this
story and the one on Knott'sLanding, but I also think they
(22:43):
used the same house in seasontwo when Alexis and Blake had
gone overseas, when she wasdating that hot dude who also
turned out to be Julia's firsthusband on Falcon Crest, ahmed
Hadid, I think I can't rememberhis last name.
Anyway, this house is quitepopular.
(23:03):
They have a whole picnic andI'm telling you, the butlers
bring out fake lobster.
They have fruit and whatnot.
They're doing the absolute most.
In the backyard, phile iswearing boots, which I just
don't fully understand.
But the whole purpose of this?
Everybody is tiptoeing aroundher.
Blake comes into the room at onepoint to just chat with her.
(23:23):
Hey, girl, we haven't had oneof our gab fest.
How are you feeling about Peter?
She's embarrassed.
That's how she's feeling.
She's embarrassed.
And once again she got okiedoke by a man who was no longer
interested in her, a man whowanted to get with her
stepmother or her sister-in-law.
She keeps scooping up the exactwrong kind of man and I think
(23:49):
she's a little bit embarrassedabout it.
But she's also trying to holdon to her dignity.
So, after all the picnic andlobster and whatnot and Jeff
trying to woo, woo, woo her back, she's like let me spend a
little bit of time with thischild I had.
She's holding baby Blake by thepool, which is a brilliant idea
if your legs aren't working andshe decides to wind up his toy
(24:10):
truck, which is a big old Macktruck, huge truck Little boys
love trucks and she winds it upthinking it's going to go
straight.
But for some reason it takes asharp turn to the left towards
the pool and baby Blake, who cannow walk.
He's got a full head of hair.
He looks just like a my buddydoll with the hair, because you
(24:30):
know they have the one with thetight little perm rod god perm.
And then they have the one withthe loose leaf hair.
This is a loose leaf, looseleaf hair child.
Baby Blake is walking and he iswalking towards the pool and
she's like hey, hey, hey Blake,I know, blake, blake, don't do
(24:51):
that.
Blake, back up, back up.
Blake is ignoring her becausehe's a little boy, he wants his
truck.
Tell me why.
The truck goes bloop into theswimming pool and you know what,
if Fallon doesn't get her lifetogether, her baby's going to go
bloop.
And then this woman pulled too,so she eventually kicks off the
blanket, she's able to run inher boots and she scoops up her
baby.
Jeff sees it from the door.
(25:11):
That's not funny.
It is funny.
One of the first millennialsever almost drowned in a bath or
in a swimming pool because thiswoman had wound up this
trucking away.
She's able to snap out of asave baby blake and everybody's
like, oh my god, it's sowonderful, so wonderful in fact,
(25:33):
that they're gonna throw her astanky leg party a little bit
later in this episode.
But before we get to that, wegot to talk about a few other
key players.
My girl, claudia the Stallion,is once again fighting for her
life in the land of the quoteunquote sane.
She can't even enjoy breakfastanymore.
(25:54):
She's been getting these boxesfull of violets.
Matthew's on the brain heavy.
It's plaguing her.
She can't even have like anormal episode because people
know she's been in the insaneasylum Not once, but twice.
She threw a whole doll off theside of the building.
It was a whole thing.
What could possibly be theissue now?
So it's morning.
(26:15):
Crystal is showing the maids herfine china.
Hey, y'all look, I just got abox full of napkin rings, aren't
they gorgeous?
She sets them aside.
She continues with thebreakfast buffet.
Claudia comes downstairs and,just like it's like a radar or
something she looks over to herleft.
She sees the box.
She immediately starts to freakout.
(26:36):
Crystal has to choke down herbreakfast with a quickness.
She's like girl, listen, no, no, no, no, no, claudia, calm down
, breathe, baby.
No, no, no, no, claudia, calmdown, breathe, baby, breathe.
These are just my napkin rings.
See, she opens a box.
It is an unassumingmedium-sized white gift box with
an open lid, like a type.
You just you lift the lid off.
It's.
There's nothing spectacularabout it.
But claudia's like girl.
(26:57):
No, no, I know this.
There's something else.
And and crystal feels badbecause, let's be real, crystal
is the one who hooked up withMatthew and sent Claudia to the
insane asylum originally, butnow it's just like girl.
I didn't realize it would comein this box.
I'm sorry, but you don't haveto worry, this is nothing.
Claudia's like no, no, no,crystal, you don't understand.
(27:19):
Today is a very special day.
Today is me and Matthew'sanniversary.
So she's expecting some bull,and that's the thing it's one of
, it's a vibe, it is intuition,is what we would call it.
Today, sometimes you alreadyknow something's going to be
some bull.
Such is the case with our goodfriend Kirby, anders Colby, soon
(27:43):
to be Carrington or Cack.
We'll get back to Claudia by theend of the episode, but we got
to get through Kirby first.
So, man, she's really beenthrough it.
She had the whole toxic shocksyndrome.
She unfortunately lost the baby.
She was really sweating throughthose last few days.
So she's out of the hospital.
She's for real, for real, onthe mend.
(28:10):
I'm not trying to downsize ordownplay Fallon's ailment, but
hers is cerebral.
Kirby has a physical, you know.
She is physically healing, herwomb is healing and, uh, she has
decided.
You know what I'm getting,exactly what I would deserve,
but at the same time I need tomake sure that I deserve the
best.
So if I have to hook up withthis demon dude, I'm going to
make the best of it.
(28:30):
I'm going to at least make sureI get me a kid out of this deal
, and it's going to be Gucci andgolden for all involved.
Now, for whatever reason, onthis show we know the wardrobe
budget must be astronomical, butKirby keeps getting the short
end of the stick.
I don't know what networkLittle House on the Prairie
(28:50):
aired on, but it seems likeKirby is sent to their closet to
get all of her wardrobe.
Granted, she's been pregnant.
She couldn't have been in thehoochie-goochie-la-la-la of the
day, but she's waking up thismorning and she's wearing a
full-on prairie gown I'm talkingbow at the neck.
I don't even see her ankles.
(29:11):
I'm pretty sure she's wearinglike house shoes or something.
But she steps out of her roomand she sees jeanette, one of
the maids, and you know, kirbywas raised by them and her
father was the major domo of allof them, so they have a good
relationship.
She's like hey, miss Jeanette,how you doing?
She's like hi, baby, how youdoing, how you feeling?
I feel better.
I just want to go check onKirby, have you?
(29:33):
I mean, excuse me, I want to gocheck on Fallon.
Have you seen Fallon?
Yeah, girl, she's having thisconversation.
Kirby is with miss jeanette.
Down the hall here comes adam,just chest naked in gray
sweatpants, and I'm thinking ishe coming from the shower or is
(29:55):
he coming from the gym?
I certainly hope he's comingfrom the gym, because what
you're not going to do is tellme that blake carrington and
$200 million.
Shout out to my friend Byron.
Yes, I've done a little diggingbecause I've had a few days
since I started recording this.
You're right, $200 million isnot a billion dollars, which is
very, very close.
(30:15):
It would have been about $798million in 1981, 1984.
I mean very, very close.
He's got a lot of money, but ifhe has this mansion with 52
plus bedrooms or rooms.
At least I hope the bedroomsare en suites.
Surely people aren't using orsharing a hall bathroom, surely?
(30:39):
Anyway, adam comes trollingdown the hall and he interrupts
this conversation between MissJeanette and Kirby and he's like
oh hey, kirby, you're lookingextra sexy.
Adam has a weird kink.
I can't quite put my finger onit, but perhaps it's because
he's from Millings, I don't know.
He's used to seeing girlsprairie like.
(31:02):
I suppose Kirby's like listen,dude, all I want to do is go
visit my girl fallon.
I need to see if she's okay.
We both been in the hospital.
I just want to see what's up.
He's like kirby, kirby, kirby.
Now he's getting.
I don't want to say he'sagitated, but he is excited.
Let's just say that damn near.
Puts kirby in the headlock,pushes her back in the room.
He's like hey, hey, he'stouching her and I don't know
(31:23):
what it is about her quakerrealness gown, but it's got him
all hot and bothered.
He's all turned on and, by theway, this is 1984.
It's very clear that he lookslike jc chazelle from n-sync, so
obviously I'm assuming theaudience thinks he's a
heartthrob, even even thoughhe's a little bit crazy.
Some women are into that and wewill get.
(31:45):
We'll discuss Kirby here in asecond, but he's breathing all
heart.
He's like hey, oh my gosh, thisis so hot.
We're going to have caring toname.
We're going to have everything.
Kirby, now that we're linked uptogether, it's going to be
perfect.
Now I hear him saying I'm gladwe're together, we're going to
conquer this family.
(32:05):
She hears, is that all you wantfrom me is an heir?
I didn't hear him say that, butif that's what you hear, fine,
well then she's like get yourhands off me, get your hands on
me.
Do you really want that, kirby?
Adam, baby, we need to talk.
It is your personal decision totake or to not take your
(32:28):
medication.
However, we got to work on thisrapey vibe.
There is a mode in betweenpredator and just cool guy.
Adam has no in between.
He is either on one or he's not.
He's either on the verge ofkilling and or maiming and or
raping and or setting up someone, or he's not.
(32:51):
You know there's there's ahappy medium.
There's like tired on asaturday morning.
There's like annoyed.
He don't know that he's, he'sall oh, breathing, all hot and
bothered.
So kirby has to make a decision.
She's like oh my God, oh my God.
Oh my God.
To my surprise he leans in forthe kiss and there's something
(33:11):
about his psychosis that she isdigging.
She's like you know what.
This is a lot better thandoormat, let me.
Let me partake in thissituation just a little bit.
So they start smooching,smooooching.
Before you know it it's goingto be on and popping.
In the morning, when thetelephone rings, kirby gets up
and her full laura ingalls,wilder gown, walks over to the
(33:33):
telephone and she, she kind ofcollects herself, looks back at
adam like damn you, fine, he wasgoing to be on now.
This is how we know adam is asex symbol.
They're giving us the falconcrest I'm sexy and I know it.
Pose.
Adam lays fully back on the bed, mind you, he's wearing gray
sweatpants, chest naked, 1984,full toupee on both chesticles
(33:59):
and down his, his upper abdomen.
He leans back.
He is lightly greased.
He is not lorenzo llama's baby.
All down, probably use I wouldsay, uh, probably probably
regular lotion, two coats.
He's laid back.
He's making sure the musclesare popping.
I'm sure he did a couple ofpush-ups before he hit that
corner and he poses.
(34:20):
I swear to you, I swear to you,soap fans, it's like one
locomotive two, locomotive threeoh, we'll pick this up later.
Kirby, okay, we get it.
Adam, you have 16 muscles.
It's a fantastic.
Kirby shakes off her whateveranswers a phone, and it is
Alexis.
Now, meanwhile, back atAlexis's penthouse, she is in
(34:43):
her bathroom I've decided it's afull bench around a jacuzzi tub
and she is being massaged by afull-grown masseuse called mike.
Mike is rubbing all the knotsout the back of her neck because
she's mad tense, because herson is about to fall into this
folly, marrying this riffraffwho is a spawn of the worst
(35:03):
mother butler on history,according to alexis joseph.
So alexis says hey.
Curbs alexis like who is it?
I mean?
Curby's like what is this?
It's alexis, listen, why don'tyou come on over to my house for
lunch?
And curby's like no, no, Ican't.
You know she already knows thisis gonna be some bull, just
(35:24):
like Claudia knows all.
It's me and Matthew'sanniversary.
I already know it's about to besome bull.
Kirby knows Alexis well enoughto know this woman don't like me
.
She definitely didn't want mewith Adam.
This is gonna be some bulls,just like oh, oh, god, ah, I'm
so sorry, alexis, I'm just notfeeling.
(35:46):
Well, alexis is like nonsense.
We're gonna be family.
So Kirby's like is that why youcalled me?
Yes, yes, darling, I'm gonnasend a car for you.
12, 30 be ready for lunch.
The girl says she's on the mend,but does she listen?
No, and this is where adam getsit from.
Alexis isn't rapey per se.
(36:06):
Maybe she is in a differentsense, in a, in a proverbial
sense.
But the aces of the carringtons, they don't listen to nothing.
Okay, you don't want to even begreat, I'll send a car for you.
So kirby has to then decide letme come about this hot gown, let
me go use this whole bathroom,let me wash my body, let me fold
(36:27):
2.7 feet of hair up into a hatso I can look presentable,
because I know this woman'sgoing to read me for filth
regardless.
I see how she bullied Claudiainto some sort of style, but all
Kirby wants to do is live herlife.
All she really wanted to do issay hey, I want to sleep in this
room.
Let me go say hi to Fallon.
I don't want to go back to bed,but Adam and Alexis Carrington
(36:51):
are not allowing that to happentoday.
So she makes it over to Alexis'penthouse.
Now Alexis has everything laidout.
I noticed she always has alittle charcuterie board.
She always has a littlesomething to snack on.
I like seeing this.
I like seeing this.
For one, it is powerful towatch a woman eat on television.
It means she's not reallyfocused not necessarily not
(37:14):
focused, but she's not buyinginto the stereotype that that's
not something she would do.
Also, I have decided that whena woman like Alexis is
constantly snacking, it is sothat she can show you how
inconsequential this meetingbetween you and her is.
You are simply another thingthat is happening during my day.
(37:34):
I'm going to snack on this here.
Food, you're not that important.
Kirby shows up and she hasrolled all that glorious virgin
hair into a hat up, and she hasrolled all that glorious virgin
hair into a hat, pinned it backso she can look presentable.
And alexis removes two silverdomes from two silver trays and,
to her shock and horror, thereare cornish hens.
(37:57):
I didn't order cornish hens, Iordered quail.
So this crap has to go back tothe kitchen now.
I am not a chef, but it seemsto me roasting any sort of fowl
is going to take a little bit oftime.
It ain't like they're gonna goin there and scrape the
mayonnaise off your burger kingburger.
This is gonna be a minute,which was all alexis plan,
because what happened?
What the pa had come by andalexis, of course, insulted him
(38:22):
took you long enough time asmoney.
You cost me way too much of it.
He's like listen, I had to digthrough 20 years worth of news
to find a butler's wife.
She wasn't exactly on the frontpage.
That was a lot of work.
Alexis like yeah, yeah, yeah,whatever, you got what I got.
He's like yeah, I got it.
Cool, get your check and getout, go down the back way.
(38:42):
She's insulting him the wholetime.
I don't know if this man is onthe verge of finding Jesus or
not, because he's kind of got achange of heart.
Mind you, he's a PI.
There's all sorts of do dirtwork that he does.
That is his job.
He is a do dirt guy, but hecounts his cash real quick, like
, and he says Alexis, now, now,what do you gain from doing
(39:02):
these sorts of things?
Do you really want to go aboutyour life ruining other people's
life?
What has this little girl doneto you?
Alexis is like count your moneyand leave.
If I need a conscience, I'llbuy one.
You definitely are not.
It Bounce.
What he has collected isnewspaper articles from 20 plus
years ago.
Again, I feel like anadministrative assistant could
(39:23):
have done that, but she hired aPI.
It's none of my business.
Flashback to the moment at hand.
Kirby showed up with anattitude.
After all, she was raised bythe major Domo.
He was the mother butler.
He was always on Alexis's neckperiod.
He didn't like her, she didn'tlike him.
You know, joseph warned hisdaughter about Alexis.
(39:44):
Curse, she didn't like him.
You know, joseph warned hisdaughter about alexis.
So alexis says you know, kirby,whether you believe it or not, I
truly admire you.
I recall how you were aninterpreter for my son.
I think you could be a valuableasset to my company.
Why don't you go to paris andyou can live in one of my
apartments?
I'm going to make sure you havea ridiculously obscene salary
(40:09):
and you can be an interpreterfor Colby Co.
It'll be fantastic.
Kirby is not in the mood.
Alexis, I'm not doing that.
You just don't want me marryingyour son.
I'm going to do that either waybecause, guess what, I'm tired
of being the downstairs wife.
I'm gonna be the upstairs,downstairs, downtown, outside.
Whoever wife, whoever c name Ihave to what marry, I'm gonna do
(40:34):
it.
I'm gonna have a baby.
I'm gonna collect checks forthe rest of my life.
That's how that.
That's how this is going to go.
Well, alexis is pissed andthere's no doubt that she had
planned on this because she'slike Kirby if I were you, I
wouldn't have any babies.
I certainly wouldn't have anybabies with Adam.
I would adopt a kid if I wereyou.
Now Kirby's like now, wait aminute.
(40:56):
What you're not going to do isdisrespect my deceased father.
He is just as righteous, isjust as worthy as any of you.
Nincompoops.
Alexis pops a little somethingin her mouth.
Girl, I'm not talking aboutyour daddy, I'm talking about
your mama.
What are you talking about?
My mom passed away when I wassix months old, when I was a
baby.
(41:16):
Alexis is like, au contraire,not so.
Your mother had a whole lover,pissed her off.
She messed around, killed him.
She in jail.
Your mama is in jail.
She ain't dead.
She in jail.
Kirby starts to flip out alexisand then pulls out her receipt.
(41:37):
Now this?
Now I'm watching this, mind you, my jaw is just dropping
everywhere.
She says wait, wait, what, what, what?
I don't know what I thought thewhole situation.
I'm watching this, mind you.
My jaw is just droppingEverywhere.
She's in the way.
Wait, what, what, what?
I don't know what.
I thought the whole situationwas going to be with Kirby's
mother.
I just it didn't seem thatimportant to me.
But whoever wrote this, kudosto you.
That makes a lot of sense.
She's not dead, she's in aninsane asylum.
(41:57):
That's the part she left out.
Alexis's point is like hey, youmight need to look at your
family tree because your mamawas nuts enough to kill a dude
and now she in an insane asylum.
I would argue that that wouldbe the outcome, regardless, even
if Kirby's mother was the mostsane person on earth, because
(42:19):
the Carrington side is good andkookaloo.
You got the trip and and fallCarrington's ie, blake, stephen
and Fallon, and then you got thejust we crazy in your face.
You're going to beat us up.
We're going to select the fool,carrington's in, adam and
Alexis.
So, regardless, there is a highprobability of tripping and
(42:39):
falling somebody to death.
Or Blake tried to beat a manallegedly His stunt double beat
a man to death back in 1965,allegedly or tried to.
If we're going to call crazy,it's crazy on both sides.
That's all I'm saying.
Kirby is so fraught, she's soobsessed she runs back to the
mansion and she tells Blake yourex-wife ain't his man.
(43:04):
She told me my daddy was deadand then she said that my mama
was crazy.
Is she alive?
Maybe I'm a little bit moreopen-minded, but hey, having an
insane asylum mother iswonderful.
Look at baby Danny.
He could have been stuck withHeather Locklear before her
(43:25):
Melrose Place fame.
Or you get a woman who hastwice visited the insane asylum.
The insane asylum was very chicin the 80s, apparently.
Go for it.
Everybody needs a littlekookaloo in their family.
This is all horrible news.
This is all terrible, and youknow what's worse.
Oh, this is all horrible news.
This is all terrible, and youknow what's worse.
(43:46):
Alexis is kind of doing this forno reason.
She doesn't want adam to bewith kirby.
Fair enough, but it's like, whypick it?
Why pick at this one now?
Normally I wouldn't feel badfor her, but I do because blake
had called.
She'd gone to visit blake atsome point at the beginning of
the episode.
She told him all about Adam.
He didn't really care.
He's like listen, we'reprobably going to throw
(44:07):
something when Fallon startswalking.
Maybe they decided to have aparty beforehand, or whatever.
He just wanted Alexis to comeby and visit Fallon so that she
knew Fallon would know that hermother supported her.
And Alexis confides in Blake.
Listen at.
At the hospital she kicked meout.
It was really embarrassing.
She told me not to come intoher room, so I don't think she's
(44:30):
gonna want me at her party.
By the end of the episode, wordis spread that fallon is walking
.
They're gonna have an entiresituation for her.
They're gonna have a really funtime time.
Only, alexis doesn't feelcomfortable going.
She goes home and she getsschnockered.
Instead, dexter comes by andhe's like baby girl, what's
(44:50):
wrong with you?
Why are you in here cooped up?
Why are you acting this way?
You're acting funny.
She bursts into tears becauseFallon don't want her at the
party.
Allegedly she didn't really ask, but it's interesting to see
this vulnerable moment.
You see this moment where she'skind of collapsing into herself
because she really does wanther children's approval and I
(45:10):
can say up until now she's been.
Be fair, she has not beenawesome to Adam, but she seems
to be trying to redeem herselfbecause he has that trump card.
At the end of the day, you lefthim out in the rain.
Side note I found out recentlythis was a very common thing not
to leave kids out in the rain.
But if women were shopping inthe 50s, 40s, 60s, it wasn't
(45:31):
uncommon to just leave your kidoutside in a baby buggy, for the
elements, I guess.
So they don't ruin the ambience, I don't know.
In case you didn't want to,just walk, can just walk by, I
don't know.
Either way she is.
Alexis is crying and justthrowing herself into Dexter's
arm and he's there to justcomfort and love her.
(45:52):
It's so beautiful, it's so cute.
But let's get to the stanky legparty.
So meanwhile, across town, atthe mansion, everyone is
celebrating oh my God, my god,you can walk now.
I felt in my spirit that thebible's like there she go again.
Now we celebrate.
(46:12):
They celebrate the most mundanethings crystals there, kobe's
there, kirby's there, uh, adam'sthere, everybody's.
Hey, that's so great, so good.
Are you?
You're walking.
Let me just reverse just alittle bit.
There was a tiny little scenebetween Stephen and Adam that I
really enjoyed.
So Stephen comes bursting intoAdam's office at oh I forget.
(46:37):
Does Stephen work forCarrington?
Does he work for Denver andCarrington, or Colby Co?
He probably works for otherCarringtons.
He comes bursting into ColbyCoe's offices with.
No, that's not right.
No god, this is what irritates.
There's so much back and forthbetween the men on the show and
where they work.
Adam works at Carrington, atDenver Carrington, because Tracy
(47:02):
works there and they had amoment, so Stephen must still
work for Colby Co.
Stephen comes bursting intoAdam's office at Denver
Carrington.
He's like yo, bro, what'd youdo with all my paperwork?
I know you took it when youleft.
And Adam's like hi, stephen,how's your day?
Stephen?
He tries to check him.
He tries to send him.
I'm still your big brother.
What do you want?
(47:23):
Steven goes into man.
I know, I know you left.
You took my paperwork.
Blah, blah, blah.
Adam's like let me gently remindyou new face.
Don't get those fresh suturesslapped smooth off the side of
your freshly adhered face.
That was my work.
I allowed you to be a part ofit because you were my baby
(47:45):
brother.
But please, one thing's forcertain, two things for sure I'm
not the one I will paint youinto a coma like that.
And number two that was my work.
Please, please, don't getamnesia.
It's one thing.
You got a new face.
Don't get a new memory.
Don't act random with me.
That's my work.
Don't get a new memory.
(48:09):
Don't act randy with me.
That's my work.
Don't act a fool.
He says that in so many wordsand steven's like well, one day
you'll be out on the, you'll beexactly where you belong out on
the curve.
I'm like y'all stop, push, stop.
This man is nuts.
What you need to do is approachhim square on and calmly, and
this is another thing.
This is that whole steven ismaturing in a way that should be
interesting and it is a littlebit.
But it's like it's just kind ofpopping off on the wrong people
.
I don't really like the dogpile on Adam, never mind the
(48:31):
fact that he painted acornucopia of confusion and
poison.
It happens, you know I'm sayingit happens.
So back to this party.
Everybody's having a good time.
When one of the hired helps,helps.
One of the servants comes inhere.
Hey, claudia, something camefor you.
(48:52):
It's a, it's a manila envelope.
Why you would deliver thisduring a party, I don't know.
Why couldn't you just drop thisoutside of her bedroom?
Why do you interrupt Stalin's,stalin's, fallon's stanky leg
moment to drop off this manilaenvelope?
Well, claudia opens theenvelope and I'm a fool when she
opens it.
It's.
It's a kid, I thought it wasLindsay and I'm like, oh my god,
(49:14):
lindsay's a lot.
No, no, my mistake, it'sactually Claudia as a child.
Now, what this means, I reallyI'm sure I don't know.
Stephen comes in the room,claudia shows him the photograph
and he's like, well, I muchprefer you.
Now I'm like Stephen, why wouldshe Come on now?
(49:35):
I think this woman has beenharassed for the last few days,
at least a week or two.
Don't you think it's weirdsomeone sending her a picture?
He didn't really fully take itthe way.
I would have enjoyed it.
But I'm looking at this andit's her as a little kid.
First off she looks exactly thesame, but it gave me the same
(49:56):
vibe as Knott's Landing.
I can't remember the name of theepisode.
I called it the floral fixation, where Ginger went back to her
what would have been hermother-in-law had the boyfriend
not passed away and she wassending all the marigolds and
all the chrysanthemums to Gingerand all these baby crowd.
It kind of felt like that.
(50:17):
Now Claudia did go and visither mother-in-law her
ex-mother-in-law last episodeand I didn't get the vibe.
Of course there could be somefancy writing.
I didn't get the vibe that themother-in-law would be the
person sending her all thisstuff?
But also, why would she be onthe show?
But also, why would you recyclethat storyline a mere three
(50:39):
years later?
I guess that's long enough forpeople to forget.
I guess I don't know.
But either way, by the end ofthe episode Claudia has decided
to carpe diem.
She's not going to wait aroundfor someone to believe her.
She knows it's theiranniversary.
She knows someone has beenharassing her.
She knows that this is onlygoing to get creepier and
(51:00):
creepier, and weirder andweirder.
I swear I hope Matthew's notback on the show.
I just don't see how that couldbenefit anybody.
But for better or for worse,she's going to hop on the first
thing smoking with this newCarrington money.
She's going to fly down toSouth America and get to the
bottom of it.
End scene.
Ooh, not bad right, a littlebetter than dry toast.
(51:25):
It was buttered up quite a bitand it sounds like we got a lot
of action that is stacking up onthe back end of this season.
This is going to be episode 20.
There's either 24 or 28episodes.
I think there's only 24.
So we're quickly closing in tothe end of season four of
dynasty.
I don't't know about you, butI'm having a very good time.
I love the changing of the tidethis season, where it's just
(51:51):
fun.
It's just fun, it's funny.
Everybody is shiny, sparklingand amazing and I am really
eager to see what happens.
All right, guys, I want tothank you so much for your
patience.
I know it's been a little bitsince I posted the last show.
Bunch of unforeseeable eventshappened, but I'm going to make
it up to you.
We're going to go ahead anddouble scoop this.
I'm going to dog pile on asmany episodes as possible.
(52:13):
I think that's going to be.
That's it.
That's all.
In the meantime, in betweentime, there really is no such
thing as a free lunch.
If you get a call from amother-in-law who would be from
hell, go ahead and tell her youhave irreversible bowels, I
don't know.
Make up something nasty andsweaty.
Hopefully she'll mind herbusiness.
(52:35):
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
keep all of your drama on TV.
Thank you, outro Music.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com