June 25, 2024 • 35 mins
Join us as we welcome Nick Padlo, an Iraq war veteran and accomplished business professional who openly shares his personal story from military and business success to battling addiction and depression.
Throughout this episode, Nick opens up about his darkest moments and the pivotal steps he took to reclaim his life, ultimately leading him to establish rehabilitation centers and advocate for mental health and recovery.
We discuss the story behind Nick's decision to open Sophros Recovery | Addiction Treatment Center in Jacksonville, FL, and Sophros Recovery | Addiction Rehab Center | Tampa, FL (sophrosrecoverytampa.com) in Tampa, Florida. He talks about a transformative trip to Cambodia that inspired a mission to address the gaps in post-residential treatment care. This discussion highlights the critical need for comprehensive support that goes beyond abstinence, addressing both addiction and underlying mental health issues to foster lasting recovery.
Nick and I discuss practical advice on identifying personal triggers and developing healthy coping mechanisms, from new hobbies to supportive relationships. Discover the strategies for managing codependency, insecure attachment, and people-pleasing tendencies in relationships, which often lead to emotional turmoil and relapse.
This episode emphasizes the significance of geographical changes breaking old patterns, the continuous journey of self-improvement, and the profound role of empathy and advocacy in the path to sustained sobriety and recovery.
To connect with Nick Padlo:
Sophros Recovery | Addiction Treatment Center Jacksonville FL
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sophrosrecovery/
(26) Sophros Recovery: Overview | LinkedIn
Sophros Recovery (@sophrosrecovery) • Instagram photos and videos
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So often, the best advocates for change and
recovery are people who havelived it themselves.
Meet Nick Padlow.
He has a history in the UnitedStates Army, where he spent 27
months in combat operationsbetween Afghanistan and Iraq.
He earned the Bronze Star inCombat Action Badge.
He went on to StanfordUniversity for Business and
(00:20):
became a CEO.
His recent move into substanceabuse treatment is a direct
result of his personal battlewith depression, anxiety and
substance use disorder.
After getting treatment himself, he defined his personal
mission to help others getthrough those dark times.
He believes that everyone canfind their way back, regain
(00:41):
their lives and live a life freeof suffering.
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
(01:03):
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Hi and welcome to anotherepisode of the Sober Living
(01:42):
Stories podcast.
My guest is Nick Padlow.
He's a West Point Academygraduate, stanford alumni and
Iraq war veteran whose life wasderailed by addiction.
He's turned his journey into alegacy by opening two
rehabilitation centers andbecoming a mental health and
recovery advocate.
Welcome, nick, it's great tohave you on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Thank you, jessica, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Could you just share your personal story and just
lead us up to where you are now?
I know you had opened tworehabilitation centers and
dedicated your life to helpingothers get out of addiction
themselves.
So if you can just take us toyour own personal sobriety story
and how it turned into yourcareer, yeah, sure, happy to do
(02:28):
it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So I grew up here in Jacksonville, florida, and by
all accounts, I had a greatchildhood, I think.
A lot of times we kind of try totrace back where everything
started and as I reflected on mytime in addiction, I never
really found anything.
You know much from my childhoodthat really contributed to that
(02:51):
.
It was a great childhood.
I, you know, really excelled,you know, at a lot of things and
kind of got a lot of accolades.
And again, maybe that was partof it that I'll talk about later
on was this kind of quest forperfection.
But you know, I went to WestPoint, I spent my 20s and, you
know, in war and people say,well, maybe it was the war, you
(03:18):
know, but I don't have any.
I also don't have any, you know, specific kind of PTSD to point
to, or any specific event whereI say, wow, that was really
traumatic for me.
I felt like I was okay when Icame home and I went through my,
I guess, late 20s and I diddrink.
I didn't drink until I was 21.
So I didn't start early either,but I did drink in my 20s and
(03:41):
kind of was a bit of a party guy, I guess, like went out and had
fun, but it always stayed there.
You know.
It was never overboard in areally big way, at least in my
mind.
I think where my relationshipwith alcohol and drugs as well,
you know, really started toshift was, um, I got a divorce,
(04:06):
um, and for me it was.
You know, I think I had, I haddone so many things right in my
life that I kind of that was myidentity, was this guy who does
things the right way and doesthings right, and I, I'd failed
at something that was arguablythe most important thing, or at
least that's how I phrased it inmy mind.
And you know, with alcohol anddrugs as well being a part of my
(04:36):
life, I think I just reallyleaned on them and at some point
along the way, you know,shortly thereafter, that
relationship changed and itchanged in a big way.
You know, they say we alwayssay in recovery, you know, once
a cucumber becomes a pickle, itcan't go back to being a
cucumber again.
You know, and I had, I hadcertainly become a pickle and
(04:58):
you know, not having any reallyclose family or friend
experiences with like, diagnosed, you know, substance use
disorder, like, or anyone thatofficially referred to
themselves as an alcoholic, I'msure I knew some um, but I
didn't, I didn't know anythingabout that, and so, you know,
for quite a while I tried to,you know, just manage it, right,
(05:21):
you know, and as, as we say inAlcoholics Anonymous, you know,
I, I, I recognize that my lifehad become unmanageable.
Um, and and I, it took me along time to do that and so I
would fight it.
Um, you know, and in themeantime I was going to business
school at Stanford.
I was, you know, starting abusiness.
It was an Inc 1000 businesslike super successful Um, and
(05:44):
you know, unfortunately, I, Ibuilt that business to the point
, I guess, fortunately orunfortunately, I built that
business to the point that itdidn't need me much.
And so, you know, I was able todo well and show good face to
investors and, you know, havesuccess.
And meanwhile I'm, you know,working an hour a day staring at
(06:06):
one email trying to figure outhow to hit send, and, you know,
not brushing my teeth for sixmonths because I'm so depressed,
right?
And you know, I thought I was.
I drank because I was depressed,and probably did, but I also
was depressed because I drank,and so it was just this vicious
(06:27):
cycle of a spiral where I drinkbecause I'm sad, I'm sad because
I drink, and then it goes down,you know, and in 2018, I really
had my.
You know, we'll call it rockbottom.
I don't love that term becauseI think there's always further.
We can go rock bottom.
I don't I don't love that termbecause I think there's always
further.
We can go.
(06:50):
Um, but you know, I remember Iwas, um, you know, I I'd stepped
down from my business, um,because I knew that I just
couldn't do it anymore.
Um, you know, and I was.
I was sitting in a hotel roomin Dallas and I was drinking and
using, using cocaine and I wastrying to decide if that was
going to be my last day, youknow, and, um, I don't know.
I don't know what kind of um,you know, maybe it's a God
(07:11):
moment or whatever you want tocall it, but, um, you know, that
day I decided to pick up thephone and I Googled luxury rehab
.
I remember, um, I didn't knowanything about it, I just wanted
to go somewhere nice.
If I'm going to go, you know,uh, which is funny, cause I was,
you know, not in a nice place,um, but I ended up finding
somewhere great.
Um, I got lucky.
You know.
Now, knowing what I know, Iwouldn't recommend anyone Google
(07:34):
that Um, but it was um ended upbeing a great place and, um,
you know, I got a month ofsobriety out of 30 days of rehab
.
That's what I got, but itwasn't the rehab's fault.
I went back in 2018 and Irealized that at that point, I
realized I had to work a program, I had to do something else and
(07:58):
so, in true addict behavior, Idecided one day before discharge
from rehab, I was going to moveto Cambodia for three months
and live at a temple, studyingmindfulness, you know, and keep
in mind, at that time it was so.
It was about four hours of yogaa day and four hours of
meditation a day, and, keep inmind, at that point, I had done
exactly one hour of yoga in mylife and that was with goats in
(08:20):
California.
And so, you know, total addictsbehavior move, but at the same
time, it was really what Ineeded, um, you know, and it
allowed me to learn how to stayin the present moment, and I
think that was, um, you know, abig part of my journey and and I
have had relapses since, and wecan talk about that, but you
(08:41):
know, it's um one of the thingsthat I realized is that you know
this is going to be a lifetimejourney for me and it's I'm
always going to have to work tomaintain my sobriety.
You know it was say one day at atime, but you know it's kind of
a cliche, but you know that's.
The reality is that you know,if I don't, if I don't do my
work and I don't stay in balance, um, my mental health doesn't
(09:01):
stay good and I don't stay sober.
So, um, that's been my I've,I've kind of journeyed through,
you know, times in smartrecovery, times in AA times in
you know my, you know Easternphilosophies and like all of
those kind of come together tohelp me, um, you know, in my
journey.
So I'll stop there and let youask the next question.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, so you hit on quite a lot.
So we have a lot in common.
So we both I live about an hourand a half from you.
I'm over in the Port Orange,daytona beach area.
You know you really describedto me is what alcoholism is.
You know if you're a truealcoholic.
You described, you know youcross over that line and you
know the only way to get backinto your true self and your
(09:47):
true passion living is to.
You know, do the work.
And you know where.
You went to Cambodia.
I went to Indonesia.
You know, I think it was threeand a half years, you know, you
know that that was my big idea,like, hey, I've got.
You know, I've got so far, soI'm going to go do this, and you
(10:07):
know it all served a purpose.
But I think what was importantto mention is you came from, you
didn't come from adysfunctional home, you had a
relatively good childhood, andpeople come from all different
places, you know, and it's andas did I, and I think the
perfectionism is is to a realkey because, as you had noted, I
(10:27):
too felt like how can I not,how can I continue to fail at
this, Like I have been doingwell in my life?
But that was the one thing Icouldn't fix correctly and the
repeated failed attempts justcontinued to feed into my you
know lowered self-esteem and myyou know negative self that I
was turning into and the diseasewas just just pummeling me, you
(10:52):
know, and I couldn't get off.
So I totally relate with thatand you know, I think you, being
an advocate now for peoplegetting well, you really have a
background that could and anunderstanding of, like, what
this really is and what thistakes to stay on track.
Everybody has a differentbottom, you know, and I like how
you said I don't like to callit that because it doesn't mean
(11:13):
we have to be completely on theground and in some, you know,
dilapidated place and justdestitute, I mean you can get
off whenever you want.
So it's so relatable to me andwhat you're saying.
So, yeah, continue like whathappened next.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah.
So, um, you know, after I cameback from, uh, cambodia it was
um I moved to Jacksonville.
So, you know, I changed umagain kind of a you know,
extreme we'll call an extremerather than an addict behavior
move.
But um picked up, moved toJacksonville, changed everything
in my life, right.
So now I'm changing job, I'mchanging cities, I'm changing
(11:51):
relationship, I'm I meaneverything, just, you know, burn
it to the ground and start overUm, which I don't, I don't
recommend people say, don't maketoo many changes in early
recovery.
Um, but I, I felt like I neededto make a lot of changes, um,
you know, to those people,places and things that you know
kept me sick.
And so um came back toJacksonville, um, you know, and
(12:12):
my thought was how can we createor build something that will
help people who are strugglingwith the same types of things
that I'm struggling with?
And so, you know, on one hand,I've got my, you know, alcoholic
mindset and my mindset fromwhat I've learned, and on the
other hand, I've got kind of mybusiness, you know, entrepreneur
attitude toward it.
(12:33):
And so I tried to look at, youknow, this, this space of
recovery, and say, like, what'smissing, you know, and for me,
it was everything afterresidential treatment I felt was
missing.
Um, you know, I think there's alot of people that are, and
there's some you know nerdybusiness reasons why, but there
are a lot of people that aredoing residential treatment.
(12:56):
Well, providing residentialtreatment, well, um, not
everyone, I mean, it's not ablanket statement for sure, but
there are a lot of goodproviders.
But then, after people get outof residential treatment, you
know, the next level of care,which we call partial
hospitalization and intensiveoutpatient, people call it IOP,
is what generally people talkabout.
(13:16):
It just seemed like there was abig drop off, you know, and and
what I saw was that inresidential treatment, we were
doing dual diagnosis treatment,we were doing EMDR, we were
looking at the underlying causesof you know what, you know what
caused us to drink or use inthe first place.
And in IOP, it was like justdon't drink.
(13:38):
And it's like, okay, well, like, if I could just don't drink, I
wouldn't have.
You know, just don't drink.
And I was like, okay, well,like, if I could, just don't
drink, I wouldn't have.
You know, just don't go totreatment, right, but I needed
that, you know, and I neededmore.
And so, you know, I found thatin Cambodia, right, but, but I
felt like we were kind of doinga disservice to to people here,
and so that's what led me tostart soft roast recovery, which
(14:00):
is our treatment center hereand you know not to make this
about soft roast, but, um, youknow that's what we try to
provide.
Is this, um, true dualdiagnosis approach to how do we
start to understand the reasonswhy we keep going back to this
and how do we learn to get wellwhile experiencing triggers?
(14:24):
You know that's one of theproblems.
You know one of the problems inresidential treatment, which
serves a lot of good for a lotof people.
But one of the problems isyou're not.
It's very easy to stay soberwhen you're, you know, locked in
a building.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, like a lot of times people say you know, it's
just that I did not go toresidential treatment, but I
know a lot of people benefitfrom that because they're
allowed to remove themselvesfrom their daily living and it
makes the world stop, and theykind of needed it to stop so
they could focus and start tounderstand recovery in a
(14:57):
secluded environment wherethat's all there is.
But what you're essentiallysaying is, when they get out,
how do they matriculate backinto life and walk around and so
provide them those tools to dothat?
How do you use that in youreveryday life?
You talk about triggers,because this is like a drinking
(15:18):
world.
I mean, it's not going anywhere.
It's like people have foodaddictions.
They have to eat but we don'thave to drink.
And how do you navigate lifewithout that and be successful?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing is to really
identify what those things are,right, you know, and to go
deeper on that.
You know, I think a lot oftimes people say, oh, my
triggers are relationships.
Ok, well, like, what aboutrelationships?
What about relationshipstrigger you?
Well, like, when someonedoesn't like me back, ok, well,
(15:51):
like, let's dig into that, let'sfigure out what that means,
like, where did that come from?
Right, where is that?
What does that look like?
You know, I'll give an example.
So for me, you know,relationships are a big trigger
for me, and a lot of it is dueto my tendency to be codependent
(16:16):
, my tendency to have insecureattachment, my tendency to want
to people, please and like,build this kind of, like, you
know, emotional volcano where I,you know, try to do everything
the other person wants becauseit's what they want, and I hold
everything in and then, all of asudden, you know, something
doesn't go as I expect and thiskind of, you know, emotional
volcano or, you know, triggervolcano or whatever it is, just
erupts, right, because all thepressure is building, because I
wasn't being assertive, and so,you know, really understanding
(16:39):
what your tendencies are andwhat those things are that you,
um, you know, get, get triggeredby times of day, places,
emotional states, celebrationlike, and then, and then
starting to dig into those.
So we identify it first and nowwe start to understand it and
then we start to train more onit.
So, you know, last year I Ifollow like a tick tock
(17:06):
emotional relationshipinfluencer I guess you call him,
you know, and I love what hesaid about insecure attachment
and and all I mean it was funny,it was humorous, right, as a
you know he's an influencer, butI reached out to him and did a
three month coaching engagementto to try to target that about
myself, right.
So we identify this thingthat's wrong, and then we go
(17:28):
work on it.
And then you just repeat thatbecause other stuff's going to
pop up, right, and there's goingto be other things that you say
, oh man, now I'm strugglingwith this, let me work on that,
or let me find something thatputs Let me work on that, or let
me find something that puts alayer between me and that drink.
I struggle every day when I gohome at 5 o'clock, driving by
the liquor store, driving by thegas station.
(17:49):
Okay, well, what can we doabout that?
We know it's a problem.
What kind of accountability canwe put in place at 630 that
ensures your sobriety?
Or should we think about addingnaltrexone or Vivitrol to
reduce cravings, like you knowat?
You know a little earlier inthe day, like what are those
things we can do once we'veidentified the triggers and then
(18:11):
play it out in real time, andthat's kind of like kind of same
thing we do in our program,which is it's okay, like people
are gonna have people are tohave relapses in the program,
right.
But the great thing and thebeautiful thing is hopefully
it's short, hopefully it's nottoo damaging, and then we get an
opportunity to see whathappened, address it, work on it
(18:32):
and hopefully it won't happenagain.
You know that's my goal.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know, living sober and being alcohol free and
not living right is just aspainful for a lot of people, you
know.
Can you talk about that alittle Cause you probably-.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, sure, you know there's an acronym I heard at a
therapy lecture one time andthey said sober stands for like
son of a, b.
Everything's real and you know,we would be remiss if we didn't
say that at some point our drugof choice served us well at
(19:11):
some point, right, and you know,often it served us well for
short durations, um, but what itdid was it?
It silenced some of the noise,you know it.
It quieted the emotions, itquieted the thoughts, it quieted
having to feel the pain of dayto day life or whatever it might
(19:33):
have been.
And you know we, we obviouslycan learn that, you know, a lot
of that is kind of caused by, orexacerbated by, the use, but at
the time it serves as that tool.
And so when we remove alcohol,we're taking away our you know
training wheels, so to speak,right, we're taking away this
thing that that in some waysprotected us from all the, the
(19:57):
you know, emotional and mentaldanger we were facing, right, um
.
And so we can't just, um, takeit away and not do something
right, we have to replace it.
We have to replace it withother things in our life, we
have to replace it with toolsand skills to deal with emotions
, we have to replace it with newfriends and new hobbies and new
(20:18):
activities and like, becauseotherwise we'll just be empty
right, and that's no way to liveeither.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Let's take a moment to hear a recovery story from
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found himself in a Texas rehabfacility detoxing After 10 years
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his sobriety, soberlink allowedJack to prove to himself and
(20:48):
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(21:08):
Visit wwwsoberlinkcom backslashsober dash living and check out
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device today.
Now back to our guest.
What did you think thosegeographical location changes
(21:28):
you made?
How did that benefit you?
I know for me, like will followyou anywhere you go, or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
And so you know, I think that's true.
But I also think that you knowwe talk about this concept of
people, places and things, andyou know, for me, you know,
getting a new, having newscenery, having new stimulation.
You, you know, I think, from alike a neuroscience perspective,
(22:12):
what it does it starts to buildnew pathways in your brain,
right, and you know we've, whenwe're in our active addiction,
we build these kind ofneuropathways about addiction
that are like super highways,you can imagine, like Los
Angeles on the 410 or whateverit is, where it's, you know, 812
lanes wide right, and so ourbrain always wants to take that
(22:34):
route because it's the easiestand the fastest.
Well, what we have to do iswe've got to, like, build new
roads.
You know we've got to buildthose experiences.
I think for me, what they didwas they helped me build new
roads and new neural pathways inmy brain, and over time, that
other one shrinks down Right,and so now it becomes break even
at some point where it's likemy brain's like OK, I can go
(22:56):
back down that road, but I canalso go down this road.
It's nice too, and so I thinkthat's what it started to do.
For me, it was like build newways of thinking, new ways of
seeing the world that became analternative to the old way that
I saw it right, which was, youknow, mired in addiction and
alcoholism.
And what I've learned, you knowmyself, is that if I ever
(23:18):
choose to take that road againwhich is now, you know, the
alcohol and drug road, orwhatever, which is now a, you
know, one lane road just likeeverything else, or two lane
road, it blows back up to a youknow one lane road, just like
everything else, or two laneroad.
It blows back up to asuperhighway, immediately Right.
And then it becomes, then itbecomes something that looks
like a default, and so that'sthe danger, I think you know, in
going back.
(23:39):
But but you still have to tobuild some new roads, you know,
in your life and new ways ofthinking.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I think so that's why I like the internal
reorganization that happens,like when we get better, is so
important, and the good news isyou know, yes, it's something
you have to maintain forever.
I don't know if you'd agreewith this, but like we could
take it as far as we want.
You know it's like your lifecan get as good as it can get.
(24:07):
You know there's no limit, justlike there was no.
You know you can go as far downas you want.
Once you get sober, you can goup as high as you want to go,
getting help in different ways,putting people in front of you
that are like positiveinfluences and to who kind of
keep you accountable, like whatabout community for you Do?
Do you have any community thatyou are currently in that, or do
(24:31):
you have a couple point, peoplethat just hold you to the place
that you're supposed to be?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
So a few different things.
So one um, yeah, I'm involvedin um smart recovery meetings,
um, which is self-managementrecovery training.
It's a community group similarto AA but different in some ways
, a little more focused oncognitive behavioral therapy and
stuff like that.
Um, so I do those.
Um, I wouldn't say that's aprimary support system for me
(24:57):
because I I host them at Sokrosand so, um, you know, I am kind
of running them as opposed tobeing a participant.
Um, it's still good for methough.
And then I also go to AAmeetings via Zoom, sometimes in
person, more often on Zoom I dohave a sponsor within AA and I
(25:19):
work the steps with my sponsor.
I go to him when I'm struggling, so I have a sponsor.
And then, thankfully and I knowthe situation is probably not
this for everyone you know mywork family is, you know, an
amazing support system.
You know it's the benefit ofbeing surrounded by, you know,
(25:39):
20 therapists Is that they knowhow to listen and they know how
to talk through stuff and tokind of identify things in you.
You know that might be yellowflags.
Hey, you know, nick, like Idon't like how you're.
You know it doesn't look like.
It looks like you're losingyourself a little bit in this
you know situation, or you'reyou know, are you doing good
(26:01):
today?
Like you need to take some timeyou need to like, are you
getting burnt out?
You know they'll ask thosequestions that I don't think
most colleagues are going to askin a normal day.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
But and we do that for each other as well- so, how
do you think you being um havingexperienced addiction in your
life, in your past, helps you bea better advocate for people
today?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I mean, I think it would have been hard, for I
think there's some people whocan do this, um, but I think it
would have been hard, for Ithink there's some people who
can do this, but I think itwould have been hard for me to
have the empathy that this jobrequires.
You know, without having beenthere myself, some of you know,
some of our therapists aren't inrecovery and they have this
like special gift of like, whatdo they call it?
You know, unconditional,positive regard, Right when they
(26:47):
think the best in someone, evenwhen they're, you know, maybe
not doing the right stuff, um,and they, they can really
empathize, um, for me, I didn'thave that empathy before, before
, not that I had no empathy, youknow, I think I was a
relatively empathetic person,but you know it's, you know when
, when you see someone who's youknow relapsed 12 times and you
(27:09):
know times, and put other peopleat risk and is acting selfishly
, and it's like I get it, I getit, man, I understand, I get it.
This disease has got you.
There was a line in the moviethe Town he's like whose car are
we going to take?
It's given me the empathy Ithink to to understand where
(27:32):
people are coming from and to beable to and and I think the
most important thing is theyknow I understand where they're
coming from.
Right, it's not so much myunderstanding, it's their trust
that I understand and that I'mnot going to abandon them and
that I that I get it and thatI've been there and that I know
how much this sucks.
Right, and you know, as analcoholic, if you know as an
(27:53):
alcoholic, if you know there is,I try to fight this.
But there's still some part ofme that's like when someone's
not recovering, like yeah, butyou don't get it, like you don't
get it, you haven't been here,you know you don't get it.
And I try to fight that becauseI know that's not doesn't mean
someone can't help me, right,but that's my own work, you know
, to work on those things.
But I think it's just so mucheasier to give someone the
(28:15):
credibility to say, okay, thisguy gets it and he's doing this
for the right reasons, and thatmakes me want to succeed and so
we, you know, hopefully getbetter client outcomes as well.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
When I decided that this was for me and I was
definitely alcoholic and Ineeded help.
I was also in a hotel room inWashington DC and I had called a
cab to take me to a meetingthat I had looked up I did not
Google luxury rehab.
There was a time that Iremember sitting on the back
(28:49):
porch of my brother's house, waybefore that last time, and I
said, you know, I'm going to goto rehab.
And then my second thought wasI can't go because it's too
expensive.
And I remember closing thatbook and I could have walked
into my house and told them Ineeded help and they would have
bent over backwards to help me,you know.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And they would have gotten me.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I would have said I wanted to go, I want to go to
rehab, can you get me there?
They would have taken me therethat day, but instead I didn't
ask for help and I uh, I thinkit was years before I came to a
point where I I asked, finallyasked for help.
So you said Google luxury.
You wouldn't recommend thatGoogling luxury rehabs.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
No, because most of them are not good.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Yeah, I know it, but some of them really are Some of
them are and I think you know myadvice what would you tell
listeners to Google?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing that I would do
is I would go to the reviews,right, go to Google reviews,
google my Business reviews andsee what other clients and
sometimes you have to weedthrough stuff but see what other
clients say about it.
Right, and it's not.
You know, it's nice to have anice place, right, sure, um, you
(30:06):
know.
But at the same time, you knowwhat you're looking for is
clients who had a goodexperience, that learned
something about themselves, thatwere able to, you know,
maintain sobriety or or at leastgo get down that path and start
heading down that path oftrying, um, you know, and it's
you'll pretty easily be able tosee the good from the bad when
(30:27):
you do that, I think in mostcases.
Um, so that would be my firstrecommendation.
And you know to your pointabout, you know, expenses, you
know, I could, I Googled thatbecause I had good insurance.
But you know, the reality isanyone can get into treatment,
treatment, and you might not beable to go where you want to go,
but there are programs, thereare sliding scale fees, there
(30:50):
are, you know, state-sponsoredplaces, and you know again like
maybe you don't get to go to theplace you want to go, but you
know getting help is better thannot getting help.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I wouldn't want listeners to be deterred by the
myth that I had that kept meaway from good help you know,
because I know there's insuranceand I know you know.
Just someone had said you know,just call them.
You know, call your.
You know, call your center andask the questions 100%.
I never made a call.
I could have made a call thatday, I could have saved myself
(31:25):
years.
But just reach out and let theprofessionals at the facilities
direct you.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And this is such a relationship business at the
facilities direct to you.
And this is such a relationshipbusiness because there are
going to be people that I can'thelp that another place can help
, and there are going to beplaces that they can help that I
can't help.
And hopefully all of us are inthis for the right reasons,
which is to help people heal andregain their lives.
And so when you call OneCenter,you're not just accessing the
(31:53):
resources of OneCenter, you'realso accessing everybody that
they know too most of the time,because if you're not a fit
there, they'll send yousomewhere else and they'll help
you get it.
It's what we do as a treatmentcommunity, and so you don't have
to think about calling 20places.
Sometimes you'll call one andif that's not the right one,
they'll direct you in the rightdirection.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You know sometimes you'll call one and if that's
not the right one, they'lldirect you in the right
direction.
What would you say to peoplewho are listening, who need help
or are ready to make thatdecision?
What are some things that youcan tell them to do?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I think the first thing is to call someone.
Like you said, you know, whilethis is a purely tactical thing.
On number two, you know youmight want to look into seeing
if you can get insurance.
If you don't have it, One ofthe things that I would say is
if you're not making, you know,a lot of times in active
addiction we've gotten ourselvesto the point we're not making
any money, right, but the goodthing about that is that you
(32:47):
know there are these exchangeprogram policies that are done
by your income.
So if you have low income, thenit's going to be really cheap
and you may only need it for afew months, but it can be there
as a resource.
So I would just reach out tosomebody again, reach out to
someone that knows what they'retalking about, somebody that
deals in insurance.
But that's a practical step.
(33:08):
But if you're thinking aboutgoing down this path, that's
something that can help you havebetter options.
Three is get up and go to ameeting.
Right, there's a, you knowthere's a meeting everywhere,
and if not, there's meetingsonline.
You know hundreds and hundredsof meetings online every hour
and every half hour, and juststart to surround yourself with
other people that are in thesame boat.
(33:30):
You may make a decision to goto treatment later.
You may make a decision that totreatment later you may make a
decision that you know this12-step path alone can work for
you right now.
Whatever it is that you make,but nonetheless get to a meeting
, start to talk to you knowother fellows and, like you know
, hear their experiences andhear their you know strength and
hope.
Then one just warning.
I mean I think you know ifalcohol is with alcohol, or you
(33:53):
know benzos or whatever issomeone's drug of choice.
Also, consult a medicalprofessional when we detox from
alcohol or benzos.
That can be life-threatening.
And so if you're drinking ahigh volume for a very long time
(34:14):
, um, you know, cold turkeywithout talking to a doctor is
not advised.
I know sometimes people try todo that and you know sometimes
it has disastrous consequences.
Um, but you don't need to toughthis out and you know there are
things a doctor or hospital canprescribe that'll help you go
through that detox processsafely.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
So, um, where can people find you during the week
if they want to connect yourbest platform?
And then also if you can put usthere, our phone number's.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
There I'm at the office every day, but um, uh,
but yeah, you can find us there.
We're also on Instagram justtrying to kind of provide some,
(35:00):
you know, strength and hope forpeople and positive messages.
Um, but again at soft roastrecovery.
Um, but yeah, that's us and youknow, feel free to to give us a
call anytime.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much, I reallyenjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastephanoviccom.
So often, the best advocates for change and
recovery are people who havelived it themselves.
Meet Nick Padlow.
He has a history in the UnitedStates Army, where he spent 27
months in combat operationsbetween Afghanistan and Iraq.
He earned the Bronze Star inCombat Action Badge.
He went on to StanfordUniversity for Business and
(00:20):
became a CEO.
His recent move into substanceabuse treatment is a direct
result of his personal battlewith depression, anxiety and
substance use disorder.
After getting treatment himself, he defined his personal
mission to help others getthrough those dark times.
He believes that everyone canfind their way back, regain
(00:41):
their lives and live a life freeof suffering.
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
(01:03):
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Hi and welcome to anotherepisode of the Sober Living
(01:42):
Stories podcast.
My guest is Nick Padlow.
He's a West Point Academygraduate, stanford alumni and
Iraq war veteran whose life wasderailed by addiction.
He's turned his journey into alegacy by opening two
rehabilitation centers andbecoming a mental health and
recovery advocate.
Welcome, nick, it's great tohave you on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Thank you, jessica, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Could you just share your personal story and just
lead us up to where you are now?
I know you had opened tworehabilitation centers and
dedicated your life to helpingothers get out of addiction
themselves.
So if you can just take us toyour own personal sobriety story
and how it turned into yourcareer, yeah, sure, happy to do
(02:28):
it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So I grew up here in Jacksonville, florida, and by
all accounts, I had a greatchildhood, I think.
A lot of times we kind of try totrace back where everything
started and as I reflected on mytime in addiction, I never
really found anything.
You know much from my childhoodthat really contributed to that
(02:51):
.
It was a great childhood.
I, you know, really excelled,you know, at a lot of things and
kind of got a lot of accolades.
And again, maybe that was partof it that I'll talk about later
on was this kind of quest forperfection.
But you know, I went to WestPoint, I spent my 20s and, you
know, in war and people say,well, maybe it was the war, you
(03:18):
know, but I don't have any.
I also don't have any, you know, specific kind of PTSD to point
to, or any specific event whereI say, wow, that was really
traumatic for me.
I felt like I was okay when Icame home and I went through my,
I guess, late 20s and I diddrink.
I didn't drink until I was 21.
So I didn't start early either,but I did drink in my 20s and
(03:41):
kind of was a bit of a party guy, I guess, like went out and had
fun, but it always stayed there.
You know.
It was never overboard in areally big way, at least in my
mind.
I think where my relationshipwith alcohol and drugs as well,
you know, really started toshift was, um, I got a divorce,
(04:06):
um, and for me it was.
You know, I think I had, I haddone so many things right in my
life that I kind of that was myidentity, was this guy who does
things the right way and doesthings right, and I, I'd failed
at something that was arguablythe most important thing, or at
least that's how I phrased it inmy mind.
And you know, with alcohol anddrugs as well being a part of my
(04:36):
life, I think I just reallyleaned on them and at some point
along the way, you know,shortly thereafter, that
relationship changed and itchanged in a big way.
You know, they say we alwayssay in recovery, you know, once
a cucumber becomes a pickle, itcan't go back to being a
cucumber again.
You know, and I had, I hadcertainly become a pickle and
(04:58):
you know, not having any reallyclose family or friend
experiences with like, diagnosed, you know, substance use
disorder, like, or anyone thatofficially referred to
themselves as an alcoholic, I'msure I knew some um, but I
didn't, I didn't know anythingabout that, and so, you know,
for quite a while I tried to,you know, just manage it, right,
(05:21):
you know, and as, as we say inAlcoholics Anonymous, you know,
I, I, I recognize that my lifehad become unmanageable.
Um, and and I, it took me along time to do that and so I
would fight it.
Um, you know, and in themeantime I was going to business
school at Stanford.
I was, you know, starting abusiness.
It was an Inc 1000 businesslike super successful Um, and
(05:44):
you know, unfortunately, I, Ibuilt that business to the point
, I guess, fortunately orunfortunately, I built that
business to the point that itdidn't need me much.
And so, you know, I was able todo well and show good face to
investors and, you know, havesuccess.
And meanwhile I'm, you know,working an hour a day staring at
(06:06):
one email trying to figure outhow to hit send, and, you know,
not brushing my teeth for sixmonths because I'm so depressed,
right?
And you know, I thought I was.
I drank because I was depressed,and probably did, but I also
was depressed because I drank,and so it was just this vicious
(06:27):
cycle of a spiral where I drinkbecause I'm sad, I'm sad because
I drink, and then it goes down,you know, and in 2018, I really
had my.
You know, we'll call it rockbottom.
I don't love that term becauseI think there's always further.
We can go rock bottom.
I don't I don't love that termbecause I think there's always
further.
We can go.
(06:50):
Um, but you know, I remember Iwas, um, you know, I I'd stepped
down from my business, um,because I knew that I just
couldn't do it anymore.
Um, you know, and I was.
I was sitting in a hotel roomin Dallas and I was drinking and
using, using cocaine and I wastrying to decide if that was
going to be my last day, youknow, and, um, I don't know.
I don't know what kind of um,you know, maybe it's a God
(07:11):
moment or whatever you want tocall it, but, um, you know, that
day I decided to pick up thephone and I Googled luxury rehab
.
I remember, um, I didn't knowanything about it, I just wanted
to go somewhere nice.
If I'm going to go, you know,uh, which is funny, cause I was,
you know, not in a nice place,um, but I ended up finding
somewhere great.
Um, I got lucky.
You know.
Now, knowing what I know, Iwouldn't recommend anyone Google
(07:34):
that Um, but it was um ended upbeing a great place and, um,
you know, I got a month ofsobriety out of 30 days of rehab
.
That's what I got, but itwasn't the rehab's fault.
I went back in 2018 and Irealized that at that point, I
realized I had to work a program, I had to do something else and
(07:58):
so, in true addict behavior, Idecided one day before discharge
from rehab, I was going to moveto Cambodia for three months
and live at a temple, studyingmindfulness, you know, and keep
in mind, at that time it was so.
It was about four hours of yogaa day and four hours of
meditation a day, and, keep inmind, at that point, I had done
exactly one hour of yoga in mylife and that was with goats in
(08:20):
California.
And so, you know, total addictsbehavior move, but at the same
time, it was really what Ineeded, um, you know, and it
allowed me to learn how to stayin the present moment, and I
think that was, um, you know, abig part of my journey and and I
have had relapses since, and wecan talk about that, but you
(08:41):
know, it's um one of the thingsthat I realized is that you know
this is going to be a lifetimejourney for me and it's I'm
always going to have to work tomaintain my sobriety.
You know it was say one day at atime, but you know it's kind of
a cliche, but you know that's.
The reality is that you know,if I don't, if I don't do my
work and I don't stay in balance, um, my mental health doesn't
(09:01):
stay good and I don't stay sober.
So, um, that's been my I've,I've kind of journeyed through,
you know, times in smartrecovery, times in AA times in
you know my, you know Easternphilosophies and like all of
those kind of come together tohelp me, um, you know, in my
journey.
So I'll stop there and let youask the next question.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, so you hit on quite a lot.
So we have a lot in common.
So we both I live about an hourand a half from you.
I'm over in the Port Orange,daytona beach area.
You know you really describedto me is what alcoholism is.
You know if you're a truealcoholic.
You described, you know youcross over that line and you
know the only way to get backinto your true self and your
(09:47):
true passion living is to.
You know, do the work.
And you know where.
You went to Cambodia.
I went to Indonesia.
You know, I think it was threeand a half years, you know, you
know that that was my big idea,like, hey, I've got.
You know, I've got so far, soI'm going to go do this, and you
(10:07):
know it all served a purpose.
But I think what was importantto mention is you came from, you
didn't come from adysfunctional home, you had a
relatively good childhood, andpeople come from all different
places, you know, and it's andas did I, and I think the
perfectionism is is to a realkey because, as you had noted, I
(10:27):
too felt like how can I not,how can I continue to fail at
this, Like I have been doingwell in my life?
But that was the one thing Icouldn't fix correctly and the
repeated failed attempts justcontinued to feed into my you
know lowered self-esteem and myyou know negative self that I
was turning into and the diseasewas just just pummeling me, you
(10:52):
know, and I couldn't get off.
So I totally relate with thatand you know, I think you, being
an advocate now for peoplegetting well, you really have a
background that could and anunderstanding of, like, what
this really is and what thistakes to stay on track.
Everybody has a differentbottom, you know, and I like how
you said I don't like to callit that because it doesn't mean
(11:13):
we have to be completely on theground and in some, you know,
dilapidated place and justdestitute, I mean you can get
off whenever you want.
So it's so relatable to me andwhat you're saying.
So, yeah, continue like whathappened next.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah.
So, um, you know, after I cameback from, uh, cambodia it was
um I moved to Jacksonville.
So, you know, I changed umagain kind of a you know,
extreme we'll call an extremerather than an addict behavior
move.
But um picked up, moved toJacksonville, changed everything
in my life, right.
So now I'm changing job, I'mchanging cities, I'm changing
(11:51):
relationship, I'm I meaneverything, just, you know, burn
it to the ground and start overUm, which I don't, I don't
recommend people say, don't maketoo many changes in early
recovery.
Um, but I, I felt like I neededto make a lot of changes, um,
you know, to those people,places and things that you know
kept me sick.
And so um came back toJacksonville, um, you know, and
(12:12):
my thought was how can we createor build something that will
help people who are strugglingwith the same types of things
that I'm struggling with?
And so, you know, on one hand,I've got my, you know, alcoholic
mindset and my mindset fromwhat I've learned, and on the
other hand, I've got kind of mybusiness, you know, entrepreneur
attitude toward it.
(12:33):
And so I tried to look at, youknow, this, this space of
recovery, and say, like, what'smissing, you know, and for me,
it was everything afterresidential treatment I felt was
missing.
Um, you know, I think there's alot of people that are, and
there's some you know nerdybusiness reasons why, but there
are a lot of people that aredoing residential treatment.
(12:56):
Well, providing residentialtreatment, well, um, not
everyone, I mean, it's not ablanket statement for sure, but
there are a lot of goodproviders.
But then, after people get outof residential treatment, you
know, the next level of care,which we call partial
hospitalization and intensiveoutpatient, people call it IOP,
is what generally people talkabout.
(13:16):
It just seemed like there was abig drop off, you know, and and
what I saw was that inresidential treatment, we were
doing dual diagnosis treatment,we were doing EMDR, we were
looking at the underlying causesof you know what, you know what
caused us to drink or use inthe first place.
And in IOP, it was like justdon't drink.
(13:38):
And it's like, okay, well, like, if I could just don't drink, I
wouldn't have.
You know, just don't drink.
And I was like, okay, well,like, if I could, just don't
drink, I wouldn't have.
You know, just don't go totreatment, right, but I needed
that, you know, and I neededmore.
And so, you know, I found thatin Cambodia, right, but, but I
felt like we were kind of doinga disservice to to people here,
and so that's what led me tostart soft roast recovery, which
(14:00):
is our treatment center hereand you know not to make this
about soft roast, but, um, youknow that's what we try to
provide.
Is this, um, true dualdiagnosis approach to how do we
start to understand the reasonswhy we keep going back to this
and how do we learn to get wellwhile experiencing triggers?
(14:24):
You know that's one of theproblems.
You know one of the problems inresidential treatment, which
serves a lot of good for a lotof people.
But one of the problems isyou're not.
It's very easy to stay soberwhen you're, you know, locked in
a building.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, like a lot of times people say you know, it's
just that I did not go toresidential treatment, but I
know a lot of people benefitfrom that because they're
allowed to remove themselvesfrom their daily living and it
makes the world stop, and theykind of needed it to stop so
they could focus and start tounderstand recovery in a
(14:57):
secluded environment wherethat's all there is.
But what you're essentiallysaying is, when they get out,
how do they matriculate backinto life and walk around and so
provide them those tools to dothat?
How do you use that in youreveryday life?
You talk about triggers,because this is like a drinking
(15:18):
world.
I mean, it's not going anywhere.
It's like people have foodaddictions.
They have to eat but we don'thave to drink.
And how do you navigate lifewithout that and be successful?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing is to really
identify what those things are,right, you know, and to go
deeper on that.
You know, I think a lot oftimes people say, oh, my
triggers are relationships.
Ok, well, like, what aboutrelationships?
What about relationshipstrigger you?
Well, like, when someonedoesn't like me back, ok, well,
(15:51):
like, let's dig into that, let'sfigure out what that means,
like, where did that come from?
Right, where is that?
What does that look like?
You know, I'll give an example.
So for me, you know,relationships are a big trigger
for me, and a lot of it is dueto my tendency to be codependent
(16:16):
, my tendency to have insecureattachment, my tendency to want
to people, please and like,build this kind of, like, you
know, emotional volcano where I,you know, try to do everything
the other person wants becauseit's what they want, and I hold
everything in and then, all of asudden, you know, something
doesn't go as I expect and thiskind of, you know, emotional
volcano or, you know, triggervolcano or whatever it is, just
erupts, right, because all thepressure is building, because I
wasn't being assertive, and so,you know, really understanding
(16:39):
what your tendencies are andwhat those things are that you,
um, you know, get, get triggeredby times of day, places,
emotional states, celebrationlike, and then, and then
starting to dig into those.
So we identify it first and nowwe start to understand it and
then we start to train more onit.
So, you know, last year I Ifollow like a tick tock
(17:06):
emotional relationshipinfluencer I guess you call him,
you know, and I love what hesaid about insecure attachment
and and all I mean it was funny,it was humorous, right, as a
you know he's an influencer, butI reached out to him and did a
three month coaching engagementto to try to target that about
myself, right.
So we identify this thingthat's wrong, and then we go
(17:28):
work on it.
And then you just repeat thatbecause other stuff's going to
pop up, right, and there's goingto be other things that you say
, oh man, now I'm strugglingwith this, let me work on that,
or let me find something thatputs Let me work on that, or let
me find something that puts alayer between me and that drink.
I struggle every day when I gohome at 5 o'clock, driving by
the liquor store, driving by thegas station.
(17:49):
Okay, well, what can we doabout that?
We know it's a problem.
What kind of accountability canwe put in place at 630 that
ensures your sobriety?
Or should we think about addingnaltrexone or Vivitrol to
reduce cravings, like you knowat?
You know a little earlier inthe day, like what are those
things we can do once we'veidentified the triggers and then
(18:11):
play it out in real time, andthat's kind of like kind of same
thing we do in our program,which is it's okay, like people
are gonna have people are tohave relapses in the program,
right.
But the great thing and thebeautiful thing is hopefully
it's short, hopefully it's nottoo damaging, and then we get an
opportunity to see whathappened, address it, work on it
(18:32):
and hopefully it won't happenagain.
You know that's my goal.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know, living sober and being alcohol free and
not living right is just aspainful for a lot of people, you
know.
Can you talk about that alittle Cause you probably-.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, sure, you know there's an acronym I heard at a
therapy lecture one time andthey said sober stands for like
son of a, b.
Everything's real and you know,we would be remiss if we didn't
say that at some point our drugof choice served us well at
(19:11):
some point, right, and you know,often it served us well for
short durations, um, but what itdid was it?
It silenced some of the noise,you know it.
It quieted the emotions, itquieted the thoughts, it quieted
having to feel the pain of dayto day life or whatever it might
(19:33):
have been.
And you know we, we obviouslycan learn that, you know, a lot
of that is kind of caused by, orexacerbated by, the use, but at
the time it serves as that tool.
And so when we remove alcohol,we're taking away our you know
training wheels, so to speak,right, we're taking away this
thing that that in some waysprotected us from all the, the
(19:57):
you know, emotional and mentaldanger we were facing, right, um
.
And so we can't just, um, takeit away and not do something
right, we have to replace it.
We have to replace it withother things in our life, we
have to replace it with toolsand skills to deal with emotions
, we have to replace it with newfriends and new hobbies and new
(20:18):
activities and like, becauseotherwise we'll just be empty
right, and that's no way to liveeither.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Let's take a moment to hear a recovery story from
one of my sponsors.
At the age of 25, recentlymarried and a new father, jack
found himself in a Texas rehabfacility detoxing After 10 years
of addiction.
He was finally able to admitthat it was time to get help.
Not only did Soberlink allowhim to be accountable and track
his sobriety, soberlink allowedJack to prove to himself and
(20:48):
others that he could make thechange he had always hoped for.
Soberlink is the portablesobriety tracker taking the
recovery world by storm.
It has built-in facialrecognition sensors that detect
cheating and instant resultssent to contacts.
It's the number oneaccountability tool for keeping
yourself honest and rebuildingtrust.
(21:08):
Visit wwwsoberlinkcom backslashsober dash living and check out
the show notes to click thelink and receive $50 off your
device today.
Now back to our guest.
What did you think thosegeographical location changes
(21:28):
you made?
How did that benefit you?
I know for me, like will followyou anywhere you go, or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
And so you know, I think that's true.
But I also think that you knowwe talk about this concept of
people, places and things, andyou know, for me, you know,
getting a new, having newscenery, having new stimulation.
You, you know, I think, from alike a neuroscience perspective,
(22:12):
what it does it starts to buildnew pathways in your brain,
right, and you know we've, whenwe're in our active addiction,
we build these kind ofneuropathways about addiction
that are like super highways,you can imagine, like Los
Angeles on the 410 or whateverit is, where it's, you know, 812
lanes wide right, and so ourbrain always wants to take that
(22:34):
route because it's the easiestand the fastest.
Well, what we have to do iswe've got to, like, build new
roads.
You know we've got to buildthose experiences.
I think for me, what they didwas they helped me build new
roads and new neural pathways inmy brain, and over time, that
other one shrinks down Right,and so now it becomes break even
at some point where it's likemy brain's like OK, I can go
(22:56):
back down that road, but I canalso go down this road.
It's nice too, and so I thinkthat's what it started to do.
For me, it was like build newways of thinking, new ways of
seeing the world that became analternative to the old way that
I saw it right, which was, youknow, mired in addiction and
alcoholism.
And what I've learned, you knowmyself, is that if I ever
(23:18):
choose to take that road againwhich is now, you know, the
alcohol and drug road, orwhatever, which is now a, you
know, one lane road just likeeverything else, or two lane
road, it blows back up to a youknow one lane road, just like
everything else, or two laneroad.
It blows back up to asuperhighway, immediately Right.
And then it becomes, then itbecomes something that looks
like a default, and so that'sthe danger, I think you know, in
going back.
(23:39):
But but you still have to tobuild some new roads, you know,
in your life and new ways ofthinking.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I think so that's why I like the internal
reorganization that happens,like when we get better, is so
important, and the good news isyou know, yes, it's something
you have to maintain forever.
I don't know if you'd agreewith this, but like we could
take it as far as we want.
You know it's like your lifecan get as good as it can get.
(24:07):
You know there's no limit, justlike there was no.
You know you can go as far downas you want.
Once you get sober, you can goup as high as you want to go,
getting help in different ways,putting people in front of you
that are like positiveinfluences and to who kind of
keep you accountable, like whatabout community for you Do?
Do you have any community thatyou are currently in that, or do
(24:31):
you have a couple point, peoplethat just hold you to the place
that you're supposed to be?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
So a few different things.
So one um, yeah, I'm involvedin um smart recovery meetings,
um, which is self-managementrecovery training.
It's a community group similarto AA but different in some ways
, a little more focused oncognitive behavioral therapy and
stuff like that.
Um, so I do those.
Um, I wouldn't say that's aprimary support system for me
(24:57):
because I I host them at Sokrosand so, um, you know, I am kind
of running them as opposed tobeing a participant.
Um, it's still good for methough.
And then I also go to AAmeetings via Zoom, sometimes in
person, more often on Zoom I dohave a sponsor within AA and I
(25:19):
work the steps with my sponsor.
I go to him when I'm struggling, so I have a sponsor.
And then, thankfully and I knowthe situation is probably not
this for everyone you know mywork family is, you know, an
amazing support system.
You know it's the benefit ofbeing surrounded by, you know,
(25:39):
20 therapists Is that they knowhow to listen and they know how
to talk through stuff and tokind of identify things in you.
You know that might be yellowflags.
Hey, you know, nick, like Idon't like how you're.
You know it doesn't look like.
It looks like you're losingyourself a little bit in this
you know situation, or you'reyou know, are you doing good
(26:01):
today?
Like you need to take some timeyou need to like, are you
getting burnt out?
You know they'll ask thosequestions that I don't think
most colleagues are going to askin a normal day.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
But and we do that for each other as well- so, how
do you think you being um havingexperienced addiction in your
life, in your past, helps you bea better advocate for people
today?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I mean, I think it would have been hard, for I
think there's some people whocan do this, um, but I think it
would have been hard, for Ithink there's some people who
can do this, but I think itwould have been hard for me to
have the empathy that this jobrequires.
You know, without having beenthere myself, some of you know,
some of our therapists aren't inrecovery and they have this
like special gift of like, whatdo they call it?
You know, unconditional,positive regard, Right when they
(26:47):
think the best in someone, evenwhen they're, you know, maybe
not doing the right stuff, um,and they, they can really
empathize, um, for me, I didn'thave that empathy before, before
, not that I had no empathy, youknow, I think I was a
relatively empathetic person,but you know it's, you know when
, when you see someone who's youknow relapsed 12 times and you
(27:09):
know times, and put other peopleat risk and is acting selfishly
, and it's like I get it, I getit, man, I understand, I get it.
This disease has got you.
There was a line in the moviethe Town he's like whose car are
we going to take?
It's given me the empathy Ithink to to understand where
(27:32):
people are coming from and to beable to and and I think the
most important thing is theyknow I understand where they're
coming from.
Right, it's not so much myunderstanding, it's their trust
that I understand and that I'mnot going to abandon them and
that I that I get it and thatI've been there and that I know
how much this sucks.
Right, and you know, as analcoholic, if you know as an
(27:53):
alcoholic, if you know there is,I try to fight this.
But there's still some part ofme that's like when someone's
not recovering, like yeah, butyou don't get it, like you don't
get it, you haven't been here,you know you don't get it.
And I try to fight that becauseI know that's not doesn't mean
someone can't help me, right,but that's my own work, you know
, to work on those things.
But I think it's just so mucheasier to give someone the
(28:15):
credibility to say, okay, thisguy gets it and he's doing this
for the right reasons, and thatmakes me want to succeed and so
we, you know, hopefully getbetter client outcomes as well.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
When I decided that this was for me and I was
definitely alcoholic and Ineeded help.
I was also in a hotel room inWashington DC and I had called a
cab to take me to a meetingthat I had looked up I did not
Google luxury rehab.
There was a time that Iremember sitting on the back
(28:49):
porch of my brother's house, waybefore that last time, and I
said, you know, I'm going to goto rehab.
And then my second thought wasI can't go because it's too
expensive.
And I remember closing thatbook and I could have walked
into my house and told them Ineeded help and they would have
bent over backwards to help me,you know.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And they would have gotten me.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
I would have said I wanted to go, I want to go to
rehab, can you get me there?
They would have taken me therethat day, but instead I didn't
ask for help and I uh, I thinkit was years before I came to a
point where I I asked, finallyasked for help.
So you said Google luxury.
You wouldn't recommend thatGoogling luxury rehabs.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
No, because most of them are not good.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Yeah, I know it, but some of them really are Some of
them are and I think you know myadvice what would you tell
listeners to Google?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing that I would do
is I would go to the reviews,right, go to Google reviews,
google my Business reviews andsee what other clients and
sometimes you have to weedthrough stuff but see what other
clients say about it.
Right, and it's not.
You know, it's nice to have anice place, right, sure, um, you
(30:06):
know.
But at the same time, you knowwhat you're looking for is
clients who had a goodexperience, that learned
something about themselves, thatwere able to, you know,
maintain sobriety or or at leastgo get down that path and start
heading down that path oftrying, um, you know, and it's
you'll pretty easily be able tosee the good from the bad when
(30:27):
you do that, I think in mostcases.
Um, so that would be my firstrecommendation.
And you know to your pointabout, you know, expenses, you
know, I could, I Googled thatbecause I had good insurance.
But you know, the reality isanyone can get into treatment,
treatment, and you might not beable to go where you want to go,
but there are programs, thereare sliding scale fees, there
(30:50):
are, you know, state-sponsoredplaces, and you know again like
maybe you don't get to go to theplace you want to go, but you
know getting help is better thannot getting help.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I wouldn't want listeners to be deterred by the
myth that I had that kept meaway from good help you know,
because I know there's insuranceand I know you know.
Just someone had said you know,just call them.
You know, call your.
You know, call your center andask the questions 100%.
I never made a call.
I could have made a call thatday, I could have saved myself
(31:25):
years.
But just reach out and let theprofessionals at the facilities
direct you.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And this is such a relationship business at the
facilities direct to you.
And this is such a relationshipbusiness because there are
going to be people that I can'thelp that another place can help
, and there are going to beplaces that they can help that I
can't help.
And hopefully all of us are inthis for the right reasons,
which is to help people heal andregain their lives.
And so when you call OneCenter,you're not just accessing the
(31:53):
resources of OneCenter, you'realso accessing everybody that
they know too most of the time,because if you're not a fit
there, they'll send yousomewhere else and they'll help
you get it.
It's what we do as a treatmentcommunity, and so you don't have
to think about calling 20places.
Sometimes you'll call one andif that's not the right one,
they'll direct you in the rightdirection.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You know sometimes you'll call one and if that's
not the right one, they'lldirect you in the right
direction.
What would you say to peoplewho are listening, who need help
or are ready to make thatdecision?
What are some things that youcan tell them to do?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I think the first thing is to call someone.
Like you said, you know, whilethis is a purely tactical thing.
On number two, you know youmight want to look into seeing
if you can get insurance.
If you don't have it, One ofthe things that I would say is
if you're not making, you know,a lot of times in active
addiction we've gotten ourselvesto the point we're not making
any money, right, but the goodthing about that is that you
(32:47):
know there are these exchangeprogram policies that are done
by your income.
So if you have low income, thenit's going to be really cheap
and you may only need it for afew months, but it can be there
as a resource.
So I would just reach out tosomebody again, reach out to
someone that knows what they'retalking about, somebody that
deals in insurance.
But that's a practical step.
(33:08):
But if you're thinking aboutgoing down this path, that's
something that can help you havebetter options.
Three is get up and go to ameeting.
Right, there's a, you knowthere's a meeting everywhere,
and if not, there's meetingsonline.
You know hundreds and hundredsof meetings online every hour
and every half hour, and juststart to surround yourself with
other people that are in thesame boat.
(33:30):
You may make a decision to goto treatment later.
You may make a decision that totreatment later you may make a
decision that you know this12-step path alone can work for
you right now.
Whatever it is that you make,but nonetheless get to a meeting
, start to talk to you knowother fellows and, like you know
, hear their experiences andhear their you know strength and
hope.
Then one just warning.
I mean I think you know ifalcohol is with alcohol, or you
(33:53):
know benzos or whatever issomeone's drug of choice.
Also, consult a medicalprofessional when we detox from
alcohol or benzos.
That can be life-threatening.
And so if you're drinking ahigh volume for a very long time
(34:14):
, um, you know, cold turkeywithout talking to a doctor is
not advised.
I know sometimes people try todo that and you know sometimes
it has disastrous consequences.
Um, but you don't need to toughthis out and you know there are
things a doctor or hospital canprescribe that'll help you go
through that detox processsafely.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
So, um, where can people find you during the week
if they want to connect yourbest platform?
And then also if you can put usthere, our phone number's.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
There I'm at the office every day, but um, uh,
but yeah, you can find us there.
We're also on Instagram justtrying to kind of provide some,
(35:00):
you know, strength and hope forpeople and positive messages.
Um, but again at soft roastrecovery.
Um, but yeah, that's us and youknow, feel free to to give us a
call anytime.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much, I reallyenjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastephanoviccom.
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