September 12, 2025 • 40 mins
What happens when liquid courage becomes spiritual bondage? Crystal Cuellar's story illuminates the unexpected path from social drinking to spiritual awakening, revealing how faith became the foundation for her alcohol-free life.
Crystal's journey begins at fifteen with that first warm shot of vodka—the moment she discovered alcohol could transform her from the shy girl into someone more outgoing. What started as occasional social drinking evolved into a decade-long pattern of binge drinking that felt completely normal because everyone in her circle lived the same way. Despite not drinking daily, Crystal found herself caught in a cycle—taking periodic breaks, attempting moderation, and investing enormous mental energy to keep alcohol in her life while experiencing mounting consequences: a DWI, increasing anxiety, depression, and the persistent feeling that she wasn't living up to her God-given potential.
The turning point didn't arrive as a dramatic rock bottom but as a quiet revelation while sitting alone in her apartment after yet another night of binge drinking. "If I don't stop drinking now, I am going to become an everyday drinker," she realized. This clarity became her line in the sand. Rather than focusing solely on what she was giving up, Crystal shifted her perspective to what she could gain—redirecting her energy toward working out, coaching others, and serving people. She surrounded herself with accountability through her church community, hired a sober coach, and began working with a Christian therapist.
Today, Crystal mentors Christian women who recognize alcohol is hindering them from fulfilling their purpose but haven't necessarily hit catastrophic rock bottom. Through her 12-week mentorship program, she helps women build a foundation for alcohol-free living by navigating emotions and triggers, shifting perspectives, and seeing themselves as new creations rather than defined by past behaviors. Her approach combines practical strategies with faith-based principles that empower women to break free from the identity and limitations alcohol has placed on them.
Ready to transform your relationship with alcohol and discover your true potential? anchorandelevate.podia.com to connect with her and begin your journey toward purpose-driven, alcohol-free living.
Sober Living Stories Podcast Host Jessica Stipanovic is a writer, podcast host, and founder of the Female Entrepreneur Organization. Join here:(1) Female Entrepreneur Organization | Facebook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living
Stories podcast.
Meet Crystal Cuellar.
Today we're going to learn howshe arrived at the decision to
live a faith-based life withoutalcohol.
We'll discuss her turning point, challenges and, most
importantly, her solutions tohow to break free.
Stay until the end to learn howshe supports Christian women in
(00:22):
embracing an alcohol-freelifestyle to unlock their true
potential.
Welcome, Crystal, Welcome tothe show.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah, so I'm excited to get into this.
You're going to be talkingabout your experience, so just
take us as far back as you canremember or would like to share
and just take us through yourstory and about how you made a
change.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Um, I will start, I will goback to the beginning, because
when I first, um, well, let mejust say this so, when it comes
to my drinking habits, I wasmore so the binge drinker, so I
was never physically addicted toalcohol or drinking every
single day, but I will say I didget pretty close to that and so
I think that's important and sojust anybody that's listening
(01:05):
um, sometimes we feel like wehave to hit rock bottom in order
to make, in order to make achange, and, of course, I hit my
own rock bottom, but, um, Ifeel like that was important to
share, kind of like my habitsand, sure, absolutely Like for
me.
Uh, so I'll go back to when Ihad my first drink.
So I actually had my firstdrink when I was 15 and I was
always just the shy girl.
Right, I had, I had plenty offriends, things like that but I
(01:28):
was always just the shy girl.
And so I remember the first timethat alcohol was offered to me
it was, I remember it was vodkaand I was like, okay, you know,
I'll take a shot.
And I remember, as soon as Itook that shot, I felt just like
this, this warm feeling and Ihad like this liquid courage
Right, just like this, this warmfeeling, and I have like this
liquid courage Right, and so Ireally feel that's where, for me
(01:49):
, it's kind of started, where Iwas like, okay, I can use this
to help me quote unquote be morelike myself or be more outgoing
, so basically a sociallubricant, and so, you know, I
didn't really drink reallyheavily at that point, but
that's kind of where it started,where I really got introduced
to alcohol and so, um, really,the binge drinking started more
so after I graduated and, ofcourse, you know all the people
(02:11):
around me that I had in mycircle, they drink the exact
same way.
So, you know, we were partyingon the weekends, binge drinking,
um, you know, just living theparty scene, and so I just
thought that that was normal.
I thought, you know, everybodywas doing it.
And, um, I feel like, you know,maybe a lot of people can
(02:32):
relate to where it's like youknow you're living this
lifestyle like as you're growingup, and it's like those habits
can start to trickle into youradulthood, which is exactly what
happened with me, and so, uh,instead of really quote unquote
growing out of it, it reallyjust stuck with me, um, for a
while, and I was stuck in thebinge drinking cycle for gosh,
probably over 10 years and, um,and again, like you know, I felt
like that was a normal thing.
(02:52):
I thought everybody did it,cause that was a circle that I
was surrounded with, right,right, yeah, and so, uh, I
really started to thenexperience, just, you know, the
negative repercussions of, youknow, of binge drinking, and I
got my first DWI.
I started to really experience,um, just some negative effects
when it came to my mental health, um, really just experiencing
(03:14):
the anxiety, the anxiety, um, Istarted to experience, um, some
depression, uh, things like that, and it would only really
happen when I would drink, or,you know, the day after, where
you feel that remorse, and forme it really started to build up
to, okay, I'm not living up tomy potential.
I know that, you know, god hasput, you know, you know, a
certain goal or dream in myheart and alcohol is hindering
(03:38):
that, right.
And so I had, you know, thesethoughts as I was kind of going
through my journey and, you know, throughout my journey, I would
take different.
I would take breaks fromalcohol, right, I would maybe
take a month off, or I maybe say, okay, I'm going to go this
weekend without drinking, or Iwould find myself trying to
moderate alcohol.
So I would be like, okay,instead of drinking liquor
tonight, maybe I'll drink wineor maybe I'll have a beer, right
(04:00):
?
So it was this constant gamethat I was playing with myself
just to keep alcohol in my life.
So a lot of time, a lot ofenergy trying to keep this
substance in my life.
And so really, where my, I guess, where there was a pivotal
moment and really where Istarted to realize that, you
know, alcohol really was a verytoxic thing and really was
(04:21):
something that I was in bondagewith, essentially and I remember
it was during a time where Ihad taken a break from alcohol
and I met, you know, my nowex-boyfriend.
I was with him for about 10years, but I had taken a break
and met him, started drinkingagain, and during this
relationship like I said, I wasin this relationship for about
(04:42):
10 years and this is reallywhere I experienced the most
toxicity I've had inrelationships and also when it
came to my drinking.
This is really where mydrinking really started to
progress and where, for thefirst time, I realized, okay,
crystal, you're using alcohol tocope, like it's not just a
social lubricant anymore, likecause.
I was the only tool I had in mytool belt, so it was like, okay
, what do I go to when I'm, whenI'm mad, when I'm sad, when I'm
(05:05):
happy, when I want to escape?
And for you know, in thisrelationship he, um, I realized
that he was struggling withaddiction.
And so as our relationshipprogressed, so did his addiction
, and so did you know, mystruggle with alcohol, which you
know obviously.
You know there is some, you know, addictive behavior when it
comes to, you know how my habitslooked around alcohol.
(05:26):
And so, you know, I did thatfor about 10 years, kind of back
and forth, trying to stay sober.
He was trying to stay sober and, of course, like, as you can
imagine, you know, living withsomebody and being with somebody
that is struggling withaddiction, you know there's a
lot of, there's a lot of trauma,there's a lot of manipulation.
For me it was a lot of mental,emotional and sometimes even
(05:48):
physical abuse, and so I wouldgo to alcohol to cope.
And so, in the midst of all ofthis, I'd already believed in
God.
I'd already been a believer,but I never really knew what it
meant to have a relationshipwith Christ.
And so, in the midst of this,just feeling really low and kind
of just at a really low placementally, I was, I was searching
(06:09):
, I didn't know I was searchingfor Jesus, but that's.
You know, I don't even want tosay I found Jesus.
I feel like he found me.
But I ended up, you know,finding a church and you know I
always say I feel like the Lordjust wrecked my life in the best
way possible because I startedgoing to this church.
They really showed me the loveof Christ.
They showed me, you know, theydidn't judge me when I came in,
(06:32):
like you know, obviously Istarted to be more transparent
and share the struggles that Iwas having with alcohol in the
relationship.
And you know it wasn'tsomething where it was like, oh
my gosh, you're a Christian, soyou know you better stop
drinking or else you know itwasn't like that.
So they really showed me thelove of Christ, they really
showed me unconditional love andyou know I started reading the
Bible.
I started to, you know, justhave my own relationship with
(06:53):
Christ, which was so differentfrom what I learned, or at least
, I will say, the perspectivethat I had growing up, cause I
thought that God was just likethis dictator and like I had to
be perfect in order to come tohim and that's just, that's just
not what it is, you know.
And so I learned that veryquickly.
And you know, going through myrelationship with Christ and
getting back into church andreading, you know, reading the
(07:13):
word of God, that's really whenI started to have just a heavier
conviction on my heart to letgo of alcohol and also to let go
of this relationship.
And so I would say, you know,when I first started, you know,
walking with Christ and going tochurch and all that, it
probably took me about two moreyears to actually, you know,
really start making thosechanges.
One because I'm stubborn andtwo cause it was, you know it's,
(07:36):
it's scary, it's.
You know, I feel like so oftenwe're like, oh yeah, I want the
promised land right, or I wantto be free and I want this and
that.
But we also know like there's aprocess we have to go through.
And so I was essentially what Irealized now looking back
really afraid of the unknownCause.
I knew how to navigate toxicityin the relationship.
I knew how to navigatehangovers, even though you know
(07:57):
they didn't feel good.
It was something I just I knew,right, I didn't know what it
meant to be sober, what it meantto live alcohol free, what it
meant to be out of thisrelationship.
And you know, there were somany different factors, of
course, too, where it's likecodependency, and I had this
emotional and you knowattachment to alcohol, and you
(08:21):
know all these different things.
And so, you know, about twoyears after that, I finally left
the relationship and I rememberthinking I was like, okay, I'm
leaving the relationship.
You know, I'm going to surelybe able to stop drinking now,
because you know he's the mainproblem, right?
And even though he was a partof the problem, uh, I had to
take accountability andresponsibility for, you know,
for my life, my actions.
And so when I left therelationship, um, really, my
(08:42):
drinking progressed even more.
And that was probably likeanother pivotal moment where I
realized, okay, I know that I'vebeen using alcohol to cope, but
now I realize how much of anattachment that I had with
alcohol and how much I did notknow how to navigate life
without alcohol.
I didn't know how to navigatemy emotions, my triggers.
(09:03):
I had found so much of myidentity.
It was with alcohol and also inwho I was in that relationship.
Right, because, again, I was inthat relationship for 10 years.
I've been drinking for over 10years like that and so I really
felt like letting go of thosetwo things to, or even just the
thought of it.
I felt like I was losing a limb, like that's literally.
(09:27):
And so I started drinking evenmore, and it was probably for
about, I would say, like about afew weeks after I left the
relationship.
And I remember there was onenight I went out drinking, binge
drinking, woke up the nextmorning with the anxiety, with
the depression, you know, withfeeling like I just knew I was
living under my potential.
And I remember just, I sat onmy apartment floor and I was out
the window and for the firsttime in my life, I felt like I
(09:47):
was losing control when it cameto alcohol, which if there was,
you know, a hidden camera of mylife, you'd probably be like
Crystal, didn't you see all theother signs?
But this was literally thefirst time.
I just had this thought where itwas like, okay, if I don't stop
drinking now, I am going tobecome an everyday drinker.
And you know, probably becauseI had already dabbled to and
(10:09):
like other drugs in the past andso forth, so I knew it was only
going to progress because itwas already getting really bad.
Where you know, again, I wasn'tan everyday drinker yet, but it
was the days that I wasactually sober, became less and
less, where I could only go likethree or four days without
drinking, and it wasn't evenbecause of the physical need,
(10:31):
but it was just because I didn'tknow how to navigate those
feelings right.
It's like even when I was inhangover, I was still kind of
numb in a way, right, I stillwasn't fully like here and
present.
And once that left, I was like,okay, I want to go drink again.
And so that was a reallypivotal moment for me where I
realized, okay, I need to stopnow.
And that's really essentiallywhy I drew a line in the sand.
And you know like I shared my.
(10:52):
My church at that time was, youknow, really small church and
they, they knew what was goingon.
I reached out to them and I waslike, hey, I need?
I just I need help.
You know I need accountability,and so they helped me stay
accountable.
I also hired a sober coach fora short amount of time and then
I hired a Christian therapistbecause I was like, clearly what
I am doing is not working.
So I was like let's just coverall of my bases and, um, and
(11:15):
let's just do this Right.
And so from that point on Ireally just uh, went all in and
living an alcohol-free lifestyle.
I went all in and um you reallyjust following Christ and
getting into community, and um,yeah, just started to learn how
to really again like navigatethose emotions, navigate those
triggers.
And I mean essentially what Idid was create a whole new
(11:36):
lifestyle right.
Yeah, exactly, and I know, forme, what really helped me too
was, um, just shifting mymindset around it too.
I think so often when we thinkof not drinking, or even just
stopping, you know, a bad habitin general, it's like, okay, I
have to stop doing this.
And so my mindset was like,okay, I need to count the days I
need to, you know, not drink.
And I really had to shift mymindset to, okay, well, what can
(11:58):
I focus on instead of going toalcohol?
Right, I love working out, Ilove doing this.
I was already a coach at thattime, but in health and wellness
and so I was like, okay, I canfocus on my coaching and serving
people.
And so for me, that was areally, a really great
perspective shift, instead ofbeing in almost like a lack
mindset of, like what, I'mtaking this thing away from me?
(12:20):
Right, this substance, opposedto looking at, okay, what am I
actually gaining from, you know,letting go of this?
That's actually toxic.
And so, fast forward to.
You know where I'm at now, likethe Lord has really just led me
to helping women like me, youknow, live an alcohol free
lifestyle and essentially stepinto their purpose.
Because I know for me.
This was what I what I seelooking back now, is really just
(12:43):
, has really just beenpreparation for my purpose,
right, like um, just reallystripping away the, the
counterfeit identities, justreally stripping away just what
was never really meant for me,and that was really heavy, and
now I'm able to, you know, walkwomen through this journey and
showing them the foundations ofliving an alcohol free lifestyle
.
Um, but, obviously, my coaching,we do it through, you know, a
faith-based lens and um, andlike I shared, just not looking
(13:06):
at it through, like, okay, let'sjust count the days or let's
just focus on your labels, like,really focus on, okay, what
kind of life do you want tocreate?
What's those dreams that youhave on your heart?
And let's start learning how todo that with healthier habits,
with learning how to navigatelife in a healthier way, and, um
, and also serving right, All ofus here, I feel like, are meant
to serve and we have gifts andwe have talents that the Lord
(13:27):
has, you know.
You know put in um, you knowand put it in us, and um, yeah,
I truly believe that that's.
Um, yeah, that's what the Lordhas put me on this earth for,
and so it's been superlife-giving and um, yeah, that's
my story in a nutshell, kind ofwhere I'm at.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yes, Well, you've touched on so much, so let's
like go back and and look at acouple of things that are
important.
I think for listeners is thevery first thing you talked
about.
You know your rock bottom and Ithink, um, that people
sometimes may get caught up like, well, I'm not that bad yet,
but, um, actually, you knowwe're allowed to get off
whenever we're done like it.
(14:06):
We don't have to be on the verylast, last rung of the ladder
to say this is not something Ineed or want in my life anymore.
So you can be a highlyfunctioning person who is
drinking alcohol habitually andgoing to work every day, but you
know your life is staying stilland you can get off then.
So I think that was reallyimportant to is staying still
and you can get off then.
(14:26):
So I think that was reallyimportant to bring up is that
you can stop wherever you are ifyou notice that it's having a
negative impact.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you know that wasdefinitely, I want to say, a lie
that I was believing.
You know that I had to.
It was almost like I would tellmyself okay, well, it's not
that bad, yet it's that bad,then I'll make a change, right.
And, like you said, it's likewe can.
We can make a change anytime wewant, right.
And I feel like a lot of thetimes we just believe this lie
(14:59):
that we have to be in thishorrible place or that it has to
just be a certain way in orderfor us to make change.
But really it could just besomething as simple.
As you know what, like I'mfeeling this tugging on my heart
that I can do better and I wantto be better.
Why not start now, right?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I mean and you talked about you know um, it was like
losing a limb or that's what youwent to for 10 plus years.
So fear of change is is so is sobig.
But if we can almost shift thataround and be like, wow, if
there's something we're reallyfearful of which, putting down
(15:34):
drinking after you've been doingit for a long time is is a
really scary place to be in,cause like, what are you going
to?
What are you going to do instead?
How are you going to face theworld without this one crutch
that we think is helping so muchand, in turn, it's really
hurting us.
So it's once again that denialand lie that you're telling
yourself or that we tellourselves.
(15:55):
And so if anybody's coming upagainst a fear, it's almost like
a green light to be like, hey,this is probably where you
should be walking through,because once through that fear,
you're going to get some realfreedom.
And the changes that we have tomake may seem so huge in the
beginning, but you know,step-by-step and I think that
(16:18):
you had talked about having acoach and it's something that
you do uh, which is helpingwomen and community is so
important in making thosechanges together because it
becomes.
It becomes easier and becomesmore fun instead of so, like you
know, just like life changingand sitting in your room like
how am I going to get out there?
Well, you have people that walkyou through hand in hand, you
(16:40):
know which is really important.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
And you know, and I do feel likejust going through this work
and obviously working with myclients, like a lot of this work
, while it is, you know, verypractical, and you know it's the
life skills and all of thatit's really important that we,
you know, really reflect on thelens that we are looking through
, right, even just as we weretalking about how the fear of
the unknown and fear of whatit's going to look like being
sober, and how, you know, ourbrain can play tricks on us,
(17:04):
right, and one thing that Ireally like to share with my
clients is looking at, like, howyou're actually seeing freedom.
And if that actually is true,right Cause, in our brains, when
we're stuck in that cycle, it'slike, okay, alcohol is freedom,
right, Alcohol is giving methis relief of anxiety, or
relief of maybe you knowdepression for a little bit, or
you know that escape, like I was.
(17:25):
You know depression for alittle bit, or you know that
escape, like I was, you know,using it for.
But really, if we take a stepback and allow ourselves just to
take a few minutes, it's likeis that actually freedom?
And do you want that to be yourfreedom?
Because essentially it's notright because you have that.
It's almost like I just get avision of just like a chain
right.
So you have so much freedom andit's like, once you break that
bondage and actually lookthrough the, through the correct
(17:46):
lens of freedom, I feel likeeven just that perspective
shifts can make.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Oh, that's so yeah, that's so important because you
can really apply that toanything that you're using to
like decompress, whether it'slike, oh, I'm just going to have
the you know if you'rescrolling or if you're watching
YouTube on repeat every night,or you know, like it's something
that you think is just givingyou the freedom to relax or
(18:11):
whatever, but really it'ssomething you becomes habitual
and it doesn't really have anyyou know, main benefit or that
makes our lives go forward.
So it's so good to sometimestake, take a look at, like what
we're going to that we think isgood for us, or is that
benefiting, relaxing us ormaking us feel less depressed or
(18:33):
sad, or it's bringing us up andis it really, you know?
And to maybe shift that.
And I think when you're incommunity with people that are
honest, they can say maybe notso much.
You know, maybe we could bedoing this instead, and to help
us come up with those solutions.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, and that's what really helped me too.
Like I mentioned, community andcoaching and all that because I
needed that.
You know, other perspectiveCause again, we can get so stuck
we're we're, our brains areconditioned to think a certain
way about freedom, about alcohol, and so if we can have that
help in just shifting it, it canbe so pivotal.
What we think about in ourbrains, it comes out in the
(19:11):
physical and in our actions andin our routines and behavior.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, and when you spoke earlier on binge drinking,
I think that a lot of peoplecome in on different levels,
right, so some can be blackoutdrinkers or binge drinkers or
really have a severe problemwith alcoholism, or they're just
wanting to live an alcohol-freelifestyle.
They're curious about what isthat going to look like.
If I put this down, I feel likeit's starting to become a
(19:37):
problem, you know?
Um, so you talked about labelsand such and you chose not to
put a label on yourself.
Some people may say, yes, I'man alcoholic, I want to go
through these recovery and usethat, but from your decision and
I've heard people say thisbefore you focus more on the
positive solution of the idealof what you want to be as
(20:01):
opposed to what you were.
So can you talk about that alittle bit and the benefits?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, again, I think it goesback to that perspective shift
and really what comes to mind isjust and I'm going to go to the
you know the word of God, whereit says that we are a new
creation, and that's really whathelped me is just reminding
myself okay, I am a new creation, so I can operate as such.
Right, yes, I have a past.
Yes, I've done X, Y, Z and youknow, and maybe even if I, you
know, did consider myself analcoholic, okay, awesome, but
(20:31):
that doesn't mean that's theidentity that I have to carry on
for the rest of my life.
Right, I can still do themaintenance, I can still do what
it takes to live this fruitful,you know life, live this
alcohol free lifestyle.
But I think it's reallyimportant and what I've seen
that's been so pivotal, even formy clients, is really just
breaking that identity, becausethat's not who anybody really is
(20:52):
.
Right, we're more than ourhabits, we're more than the
labels that we put on ourselves.
And even if you do resonatewith being an alcoholic or
whatever that may be, that'stotally fine, because everybody
is so different and whateverhelps you move forward or helps
you, you know, cause sometimesit is helpful for people to put
a label on.
It's kind of like when we go tothe doctor it's like, okay, I
have this thing that's going on,we have a label for it, then we
(21:13):
can find a solution for it,Right.
So that's totally fine.
But I do think there has to bea separation at some capacity so
that we can fully step intothis new life, step into this
new creation that God has, youknow, created us to be, and I
feel like that also helps usjust.
I just just remove thatheaviness, right.
Like I don't think we need tocarry everything that we've gone
(21:34):
through or the past with us,because there's just such a
whole new life, you know, aftersobriety, and you know there's
just so much more to live for.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, and and what was important and I think really
great that you said is is yousaid like he wrecked your life,
like you know, sometimes forlisteners that think, well, you
know, I'm too far gone, or I youknow I don't have a
relationship with God and Idon't know how to pray or I
don't know how to do thesethings to get myself out of this
hole.
(22:05):
It's like I don't think anybodydid.
And I believe that sometimes weget broken and leveled so that
we can look at life from acompletely different view,
because we have to, becausethat's where we are, and then we
can restore and reconcile andrebuild and, you know, getting
around the right people andbeing open to that change.
(22:28):
I think the help comes in.
The spiritual help comes innaturally and it's it's quite
like mind blowing for a lot ofpeople, like, as you speak about
your faith, your face likecompletely lights up, like it's
a full smile, you know, and likeI don't think people at the
beginning of any, any journeywhere we look at ourselves and
(22:49):
try to make a change, nobody'ssmiling that much.
But it does happen and it comes, you know, and you just have to
believe that it's.
You're deserving of that too.
You know this is for anybodyand everybody.
You know that rebuild your.
You know it's for you too.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, absolutely, and I love that you touched on that
point too, because, yeah, it'snot rainbows and butterflies,
it's.
I mean, you are literally, Ijust think of like a foundation
that's just being wrecked, right, but it's a foundation that was
shaky and for me, like, as Isee it, as like the Lord, just
kind of, you know, he filled inthe gaps in my foundation but
there is going to require abreaking for a break so we can
(23:31):
have that solid foundation andagain then build that life from
there.
But yeah, I mean, I'll be thefirst to say it was not easy, it
was very challenging, and therewere, there were many days
where I just, you know, wantedto give up, and it wasn't
necessarily always going toalcohol at that point, but it
was just the emotional thingsthat we just buried down, right,
(23:53):
and so that can be tough and Inever want that to deter anybody
.
But I also I love just beingreal and you know, and that's
why it's important, like we'vebeen talking about here,
community mentorship, whateverthat looks like.
You know it's just one personthat can just get you, you know,
that just understands.
That's going to be so helpful,because I don't think anybody
that's living an alcohol-freelifestyle, sober lifestyle.
(24:16):
I've never met anybody thathasn't had help at some capacity
.
So, yeah, so, so, so, soimportant.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, it reminds me.
There was this woman once thatI met at the very, very
beginning of my journey on myrebuild, and she told me you
know, like picture yourself as ahouse.
What do you see?
And I was like the steps arecracked, the doors hanging off
the hinges, and there is a lotof broken glass.
And she said, okay, now pictureit this the steps are fixed,
(24:45):
All the windows are in place,and now, if you begin today, you
get to just decorate each roomfor the rest of your life, Like
the whole thing.
She just was picturing and shecouldn't like.
She said it a lot better, butshe was trying to show me, like
this is the rebuild and it isincredible, you know, and there
(25:06):
is so much for you in store.
And I couldn't see it at thetime, but I never forgot what
she said and I found that to bevery true.
It's like, you know, we come inas we are, but then we, we
decide to make a change and it'scompletely possible.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Absolutely.
Oh gosh, I love that so much.
Yeah, so good.
Yeah, so we come.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It's funny that you know, we come across people who
say things or come in for aseason to speak into our life
and help us really make a change.
Whether it's a sentence, Isthere anyone that said anything
to you that you can recall thatmade you pay attention?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, I mean honestly , for me it really was like a
big perspective shift from, youknow, my pastor's wife from the
church that I had started goingto, and I remember one day we
were talking about, you know,just, pastor's wife, I'm from
the church that I, you know, hadstarted going to, and I
remember one day we were talkingabout, you know just, the
struggle with alcohol and I juststarted my alcohol free journey
and you know, I was just, I wasjust kind of struggling, you
(26:05):
know, because I was in themindset of, like I have to stop
drinking, you know.
And so she just told me andit's something very simple, but
it made the difference for meand she just said, well, what if
you know, instead of drinking,what if you just do something
else?
Right, it's, maybe it's not,you know, just focusing on not
drinking or not doing this, like, what can you do now that
you're not drinking?
Right, and that, and again, sosimple, but that made the
(26:28):
biggest difference for me.
And that's when I started tofocus more on life giving things
and realized, okay, like one, Ido have the choice to drink or
not, right, but I get to makethat decision.
So, yeah, maybe, maybe it's like, okay, I can't drink, but but
technically I can't, right, andso I think that's something, too
, that really helped me, becauseI think sometimes, when we're
struggling with alcohol orwhatever substance we have in
(26:48):
our brains, oh yeah, I can't,which may be true, but I feel
like that also takes the poweraway from us.
So she really encouraged methat I have the power to choose
and that making that perspectiveshift of instead of I can't do
this to actually I can do thisbecause I'm not doing that, yeah
, and another thing that you hadspoke about and you use the
(27:09):
word serve a lot, and I knowthat when stuck in like a cycle,
that's negative and not goodfor us.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We often are very self-focused and like selfish in
a sense, completely because wejust can't get out of it.
And I know that for me, helpingothers really got me outside of
myself and putting myself in aposition of service, as opposed
to me always self-seeking andfiguring out what I needed to do
(27:37):
kind of just changes yourperspective on you know your day
and in turn you get to followthat out.
So have you found that to betrue as well?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Absolutely, and gosh, yeah, it just really helps us
shift our focus.
And, you know, I think, at theend of the day, we're trying to
distract ourselves, especiallywhen, especially when we're in
that, you know, season, andthat's just such a healthy
distraction and it's also veryfulfilling, right, because when
we, when we drink or when we dothese different things, we are
trying to, at the end of the day, we're trying to fill a void,
right.
(28:07):
And so, again, going back tosomething that's actually
life-giving, like serving, itfills our cup up, right, and
it's also's also helping others,and I feel like that's
something that that we misssometimes and it's something so
simple that we can do thatactually can be so fulfilling.
And again, like you said, ittakes the focus off of, like
everything that's quote, unquote, wrong and shifts it to
(28:29):
something positive, you know,and again, like and I feel like
this all sounds like like it'sso simple and but it's gosh,
it's so pivotal if you actuallyput it into action.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, and not to minimize, like when you do give
up alcohol.
I know for myself like it is.
It's a difficult time.
However, you know it ispossible and and it's just in
those day-to-days.
You know those day-to-daythings that you do differently.
And, um, serving, it's like mybrother always has this saying
(29:01):
it's like do good, feel good,and so a lot of times we're
leveled when we're living in alifestyle that that doesn't
serve us Like.
So our confidence is leveled,our capability and our feeling
that we're able to achieveanything is diminished, like
everything's kind of taken away.
So when we start to get outthere and like serve or do good
or try to, you know, shift whatwe're doing onto others, it kind
(29:25):
of feeds us to kind of rebuildourselves and be like someone's
relying on me.
I'm going to keep my commitment.
I said I promised to do that,so I will do that.
So you kind of flip it.
You do everything different.
You know if you want thingsdone, if you want something
different, do things differently.
That was a line somebody's toldme and I was like wow, okay,
cause I was really in a cycle ofdoing everything the same every
(29:47):
day, you know.
And then when I wanted to breakfree and make a change, I had
to pointedly do things differentin my day, and it gave me
different results.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Right, yeah, yeah, again, it's that perspective
shift too.
It's like, okay, well, am Igoing to keep doing the same
thing over and over again,expecting a different result,
cause that's what everybody says, right, the definition of
insanity.
Or am I going to switch it up?
Sure, different result.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, yeah, and you know, having like a DUI, it said
, and or anything else thathappens that's negatively
impacts it's not only you knowthose things in itself.
You know, making a change to bealcohol free eliminates your the
possibility of a life alteringconsequence.
You know this.
(30:32):
It's like we're talking simply,but these results or these
consequences of living in a waywhere you're not aware of what
you're doing, you're altered,can have life-altering
consequences, not only for mebut for other people.
And that was a large part ofwhy I stopped, because I thought
I'm okay at this point beingself-destructive toward myself,
(30:55):
but I'm going to what if I hurtsomeone else?
You know, like, those are real,harsher realities of drinking
and harsher realities of likebeing a part of living in a way
that is, um, you know,detrimental, right To only
ourselves but other people andthat's eliminated and so we can
walk freer and we can know that,hey, you know we're being
(31:17):
responsible, we're being amember of society, we're
participating in the like,health and wellness of other
people, instead of, you know,and just our loved ones.
They get us at our fullcapacity and our availability,
instead of just, you know,taking ourselves out of being a
part of that.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, definitely.
It actually reminds me of oneof my clients I had, you know, a
few years ago, and that waskind of her draw line in the
sand moment where she realizedthat she was really negatively
impacting her daughter.
And I remember she had messagedme and said that her daughter,
but the first time I found, canyou not drink tonight?
And that was one of her pivotalmoments where she was like,
(31:58):
okay, I need to make a change.
And now she's been alcohol free, you know, for years and she's,
you know, starting a coachingbusiness and all of that, and so
, yeah, just kind ofpiggybacking on what you said,
it's like, you know, this onedecision impacts your family, it
impacts those around you andthen, essentially, like,
everybody has a purpose and acalling, so then it's going to
(32:18):
have even a.
It's like a ripple effect,right, that we just don't
realize, because sometimes we'rejust kind of in this, in this
little box that we put ourselvesin, right.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, yeah.
And with with children, I thinkthey really watch like, um, so
recently, like I had, I waseating like just like poorly,
lots of sugar, all this stufffor kind of a long time.
We've been really busy and justgoing out and doing this.
And my daughter was eight andshe said to me one night I want
you to get healthy.
And I said, gosh, like what doyou mean by that?
(32:48):
And she said, because yourchoices are going to influence
use that word, influence mine.
And I was like, wow, here I hadbeen wanting to make a change
for so long.
But hearing it from her,knowing that I was her example,
and that was, and I committed tothat.
So May 1st I went sugar-free,dairy-free, and I lost 30 pounds
(33:10):
and I just changed it and Istarted to get the energy, came
back, everything.
And you know, it's that examplewe're giving.
Like you have to think, gosh,you know what kind of examples
are we giving, right, and what ablessing that she was that
night.
It was like divine interventionthrough her little voice, like
I couldn't hear it from anyoneelse, but for her I'll change my
(33:30):
whole world.
So she really prompted me tomake a change in myself, like
for health, for health wise, andit was just incredible, because
sometimes when we give up onehabit, you know, here, years
down the road I picked upanother one, you know, and
whether he did it to cope orjust because I was stressed,
stressed or with work, doesn'tmatter, it's like I was doing it
(33:52):
and like mindlessly, and so wedon't have to do that.
But sometimes it takes theattention given to us from our
loved ones to really make achange, right.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And kids are so awesome.
I love hearing stories likethat.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yes, Like that's what it took, right, that's what it
took.
Just one line from my girl andyeah, it's something I've been
struggling with for a couple ofyears.
So that's really incredible.
And, like that one client youwere talking about, you know, um
making that change, like what adifferent home she has.
You know her attention issomewhere where it's supposed to
be.
It's wonderful and not alwayspossible for everyone.
(34:28):
So you know, it's really the,the gratitude and, um, you know
just being grateful that we wereable to turn a corner and, um,
you know a lot of people arestruggling and they can too, um,
and you know, I definitely wantpeople to know that like may
not be completely, um easy, butso possible, like the hope is so
(34:49):
there because it's, it'savailable for anyone at any time
, you know, to make a changelike that.
And the help is there theonline help, the in-person help.
So let's, at this point, if youdon't mind, sharing with us,
like, what do you do and who doyou specifically help and how?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, definitely so.
The way I help my clients rightnow, well, so I help women
Christian women typically, butI'm also open to helping
everybody.
Like you don't have to be aChristian in order to come to me
, because everything that Iteach it's going to be helpful
for anybody that's strugglingwhen it comes to the binge
drinking cycle.
So, but typically it isChristian women that are just in
(35:30):
that in-between, where they'renot physically addicted to
alcohol, but they're kind of inthe danger zone.
Right.
They have that tugging on theirheart to stop drinking.
They know that they're overdrinking, even if it's just once
a month, and they want to dobetter, they want to be better.
They have a dream and a purposeon their heart and they want to
accomplish that, but they knowthat alcohol is hindering them
in that area.
But also when it comes to theirrelationships, like we kind of
talked about with you knowexample, like my past clients,
(35:52):
and so the way that I help womenis really just taking them
through a 12 week mentorship andI essentially just help them
build, build a foundation ofliving an alcohol free lifestyle
.
So, like we talked about a lottoday, and navigating emotions
and triggers and really havingperspective shifts and, you know
, in between that, just reallyholding them accountable.
So I'm really big on, you know,just being really present with
(36:16):
my clients and having a lot oftouch points, especially at the
beginning, so they have theaccountability and life support
that they need when they arehaving those triggers or
struggling or whatever that maybe.
And of course, I do it througha faith-based lens, so it's
really paired with faith andthen also very practical life
skills that I teach them just toreally build that foundation.
(36:38):
I will say most of my clientswill work with me probably more
than three months.
Typically they work with mefrom six months to a year,
sometimes even two years, justbecause there's so much more to
build after that.
Right, and so that'sessentially how I help women and
it's really simple.
We have Zoom calls, we get inTelegram and just kind of chat
back and forth and it's really alot of that live coaching and
(37:00):
mentorship.
I would say if there was like afirst step that I would tell
anybody is to really wouldreally be to join my free
community that I have onFacebook.
I have a lot of free content inthere just to kind of get
started, get a feel of you knowhow I coach and also just get
some free resources, and I'malso very present on on Tik TOK.
There's tons of content thereas well, so I think that's a
(37:22):
really great place to start, andthen I know you're going to
link my my website as well, ifanybody wants to.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, I'll put actually all of that in the show
notes.
Um, if anyone wants to reachout to crystal and join her free
community, that's a great step.
Um, so what are?
What name are you under for?
Um, face your Facebookcommunity group.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Um.
The Facebook community group iscalled the kingdom or it's
called kingdom Alliancecommunity.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Okay, kingdom, alliance, community and um, and
also Tik TOK.
Yes, yes, okay, yeah, okay.
And what name is that under?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
That's just under my first and last name.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Okay, and what name is that under?
That's just under my first andlast name.
Okay, great, do you have anything you can say to anyone
listening that is fearful ofmaking that change?
I heard a long time ago that,like spirituality, is the
process of removal, not addition.
And so we talked about likefilling it up with alcohol,
filling it up with binging orwhatever.
(38:18):
And you know, once we removethat, it's scary.
It's like it up with alcohol,filling it up with binging or
whatever.
And you know, once we removethat, it's scary.
It's like, wow, now what?
You know, how am I going toface the world?
What am I going to do to cope?
And so what would be like afirst step for a first day or
second day, when you're justputting it down and you're just
deciding to go about your dayLike what?
What could you tell them?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, I would say, you know when we're making, uh,
what we essentially know is, youknow, a life change.
I think sometimes we look at the, we look at the big picture,
right, and we get overwhelmedand have anxiety, and so one
thing that I would say that wasreally helpful for me, that's
really helpful for my clients,is really just taking it one
step at a time and one day at atime.
I know we hear that all the time, right, it's like one day at a
time, but I really, trulybelieve that you know, instead
(39:01):
of looking at you know, the bigpicture, thinking, oh my gosh,
I'm going to have to stopdrinking for the rest of my life
, just really taking it just onebite at a time and um, and
really just having some sort ofaccountability and mentorship
where you can just really um,just at least have a sounding
board right, especially at thebeginning, whatever that looks
like.
You know whether that's youknow something at your church or
(39:23):
whether it's you know a coachlike me, whatever that looks
like.
But that's what I would say,that I would um, I would say for
the beginning, as far as likeday one, to have that
accountability and to really goin with the mindset of you know
what, like, I'm just going totake it one day at a time, just
one bite at a time, and letthings unfold.
You know like build on thatfoundation.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Okay, great, lots of insight, great inspiration, and
so you're really.
You're really focused onhelping women who are in that
middle of the stage.
You know, may not be aneveryday drinker, but are
looking to just like completelyremove alcohol because it's
getting in the way in some wayand you can walk them through it
.
So I really appreciate youcoming on here sharing what you
do, and not only that, buthaving the courage to share your
personal story so that otherscan come forward and share
(40:09):
theirs.
So, um it.
Yeah, if you want to join herkingdom Alliance community
Facebook group, find her on TikTOK.
I'm going to put all that inthe show notes below and I thank
you so much for coming on theshow today.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Thank you so much.
Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living
Stories podcast.
Meet Crystal Cuellar.
Today we're going to learn howshe arrived at the decision to
live a faith-based life withoutalcohol.
We'll discuss her turning point, challenges and, most
importantly, her solutions tohow to break free.
Stay until the end to learn howshe supports Christian women in
(00:22):
embracing an alcohol-freelifestyle to unlock their true
potential.
Welcome, Crystal, Welcome tothe show.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah, so I'm excited to get into this.
You're going to be talkingabout your experience, so just
take us as far back as you canremember or would like to share
and just take us through yourstory and about how you made a
change.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Um, I will start, I will goback to the beginning, because
when I first, um, well, let mejust say this so, when it comes
to my drinking habits, I wasmore so the binge drinker, so I
was never physically addicted toalcohol or drinking every
single day, but I will say I didget pretty close to that and so
I think that's important and sojust anybody that's listening
(01:05):
um, sometimes we feel like wehave to hit rock bottom in order
to make, in order to make achange, and, of course, I hit my
own rock bottom, but, um, Ifeel like that was important to
share, kind of like my habitsand, sure, absolutely Like for
me.
Uh, so I'll go back to when Ihad my first drink.
So I actually had my firstdrink when I was 15 and I was
always just the shy girl.
Right, I had, I had plenty offriends, things like that but I
(01:28):
was always just the shy girl.
And so I remember the first timethat alcohol was offered to me
it was, I remember it was vodkaand I was like, okay, you know,
I'll take a shot.
And I remember, as soon as Itook that shot, I felt just like
this, this warm feeling and Ihad like this liquid courage
Right, just like this, this warmfeeling, and I have like this
liquid courage Right, and so Ireally feel that's where, for me
(01:49):
, it's kind of started, where Iwas like, okay, I can use this
to help me quote unquote be morelike myself or be more outgoing
, so basically a sociallubricant, and so, you know, I
didn't really drink reallyheavily at that point, but
that's kind of where it started,where I really got introduced
to alcohol and so, um, really,the binge drinking started more
so after I graduated and, ofcourse, you know all the people
(02:11):
around me that I had in mycircle, they drink the exact
same way.
So, you know, we were partyingon the weekends, binge drinking,
um, you know, just living theparty scene, and so I just
thought that that was normal.
I thought, you know, everybodywas doing it.
And, um, I feel like, you know,maybe a lot of people can
(02:32):
relate to where it's like youknow you're living this
lifestyle like as you're growingup, and it's like those habits
can start to trickle into youradulthood, which is exactly what
happened with me, and so, uh,instead of really quote unquote
growing out of it, it reallyjust stuck with me, um, for a
while, and I was stuck in thebinge drinking cycle for gosh,
probably over 10 years and, um,and again, like you know, I felt
like that was a normal thing.
(02:52):
I thought everybody did it,cause that was a circle that I
was surrounded with, right,right, yeah, and so, uh, I
really started to thenexperience, just, you know, the
negative repercussions of, youknow, of binge drinking, and I
got my first DWI.
I started to really experience,um, just some negative effects
when it came to my mental health, um, really just experiencing
(03:14):
the anxiety, the anxiety, um, Istarted to experience, um, some
depression, uh, things like that, and it would only really
happen when I would drink, or,you know, the day after, where
you feel that remorse, and forme it really started to build up
to, okay, I'm not living up tomy potential.
I know that, you know, god hasput, you know, you know, a
certain goal or dream in myheart and alcohol is hindering
(03:38):
that, right.
And so I had, you know, thesethoughts as I was kind of going
through my journey and, you know, throughout my journey, I would
take different.
I would take breaks fromalcohol, right, I would maybe
take a month off, or I maybe say, okay, I'm going to go this
weekend without drinking, or Iwould find myself trying to
moderate alcohol.
So I would be like, okay,instead of drinking liquor
tonight, maybe I'll drink wineor maybe I'll have a beer, right
(04:00):
?
So it was this constant gamethat I was playing with myself
just to keep alcohol in my life.
So a lot of time, a lot ofenergy trying to keep this
substance in my life.
And so really, where my, I guess, where there was a pivotal
moment and really where Istarted to realize that, you
know, alcohol really was a verytoxic thing and really was
(04:21):
something that I was in bondagewith, essentially and I remember
it was during a time where Ihad taken a break from alcohol
and I met, you know, my nowex-boyfriend.
I was with him for about 10years, but I had taken a break
and met him, started drinkingagain, and during this
relationship like I said, I wasin this relationship for about
(04:42):
10 years and this is reallywhere I experienced the most
toxicity I've had inrelationships and also when it
came to my drinking.
This is really where mydrinking really started to
progress and where, for thefirst time, I realized, okay,
crystal, you're using alcohol tocope, like it's not just a
social lubricant anymore, likecause.
I was the only tool I had in mytool belt, so it was like, okay
, what do I go to when I'm, whenI'm mad, when I'm sad, when I'm
(05:05):
happy, when I want to escape?
And for you know, in thisrelationship he, um, I realized
that he was struggling withaddiction.
And so as our relationshipprogressed, so did his addiction
, and so did you know, mystruggle with alcohol, which you
know obviously.
You know there is some, you know, addictive behavior when it
comes to, you know how my habitslooked around alcohol.
(05:26):
And so, you know, I did thatfor about 10 years, kind of back
and forth, trying to stay sober.
He was trying to stay sober and, of course, like, as you can
imagine, you know, living withsomebody and being with somebody
that is struggling withaddiction, you know there's a
lot of, there's a lot of trauma,there's a lot of manipulation.
For me it was a lot of mental,emotional and sometimes even
(05:48):
physical abuse, and so I wouldgo to alcohol to cope.
And so, in the midst of all ofthis, I'd already believed in
God.
I'd already been a believer,but I never really knew what it
meant to have a relationshipwith Christ.
And so, in the midst of this,just feeling really low and kind
of just at a really low placementally, I was, I was searching
(06:09):
, I didn't know I was searchingfor Jesus, but that's.
You know, I don't even want tosay I found Jesus.
I feel like he found me.
But I ended up, you know,finding a church and you know I
always say I feel like the Lordjust wrecked my life in the best
way possible because I startedgoing to this church.
They really showed me the loveof Christ.
They showed me, you know, theydidn't judge me when I came in,
(06:32):
like you know, obviously Istarted to be more transparent
and share the struggles that Iwas having with alcohol in the
relationship.
And you know it wasn'tsomething where it was like, oh
my gosh, you're a Christian, soyou know you better stop
drinking or else you know itwasn't like that.
So they really showed me thelove of Christ, they really
showed me unconditional love andyou know I started reading the
Bible.
I started to, you know, justhave my own relationship with
(06:53):
Christ, which was so differentfrom what I learned, or at least
, I will say, the perspectivethat I had growing up, cause I
thought that God was just likethis dictator and like I had to
be perfect in order to come tohim and that's just, that's just
not what it is, you know.
And so I learned that veryquickly.
And you know, going through myrelationship with Christ and
getting back into church andreading, you know, reading the
(07:13):
word of God, that's really whenI started to have just a heavier
conviction on my heart to letgo of alcohol and also to let go
of this relationship.
And so I would say, you know,when I first started, you know,
walking with Christ and going tochurch and all that, it
probably took me about two moreyears to actually, you know,
really start making thosechanges.
One because I'm stubborn andtwo cause it was, you know it's,
(07:36):
it's scary, it's.
You know, I feel like so oftenwe're like, oh yeah, I want the
promised land right, or I wantto be free and I want this and
that.
But we also know like there's aprocess we have to go through.
And so I was essentially what Irealized now looking back
really afraid of the unknownCause.
I knew how to navigate toxicityin the relationship.
I knew how to navigatehangovers, even though you know
(07:57):
they didn't feel good.
It was something I just I knew,right, I didn't know what it
meant to be sober, what it meantto live alcohol free, what it
meant to be out of thisrelationship.
And you know, there were somany different factors, of
course, too, where it's likecodependency, and I had this
emotional and you knowattachment to alcohol, and you
(08:21):
know all these different things.
And so, you know, about twoyears after that, I finally left
the relationship and I rememberthinking I was like, okay, I'm
leaving the relationship.
You know, I'm going to surelybe able to stop drinking now,
because you know he's the mainproblem, right?
And even though he was a partof the problem, uh, I had to
take accountability andresponsibility for, you know,
for my life, my actions.
And so when I left therelationship, um, really, my
(08:42):
drinking progressed even more.
And that was probably likeanother pivotal moment where I
realized, okay, I know that I'vebeen using alcohol to cope, but
now I realize how much of anattachment that I had with
alcohol and how much I did notknow how to navigate life
without alcohol.
I didn't know how to navigatemy emotions, my triggers.
(09:03):
I had found so much of myidentity.
It was with alcohol and also inwho I was in that relationship.
Right, because, again, I was inthat relationship for 10 years.
I've been drinking for over 10years like that and so I really
felt like letting go of thosetwo things to, or even just the
thought of it.
I felt like I was losing a limb, like that's literally.
(09:27):
And so I started drinking evenmore, and it was probably for
about, I would say, like about afew weeks after I left the
relationship.
And I remember there was onenight I went out drinking, binge
drinking, woke up the nextmorning with the anxiety, with
the depression, you know, withfeeling like I just knew I was
living under my potential.
And I remember just, I sat onmy apartment floor and I was out
the window and for the firsttime in my life, I felt like I
(09:47):
was losing control when it cameto alcohol, which if there was,
you know, a hidden camera of mylife, you'd probably be like
Crystal, didn't you see all theother signs?
But this was literally thefirst time.
I just had this thought where itwas like, okay, if I don't stop
drinking now, I am going tobecome an everyday drinker.
And you know, probably becauseI had already dabbled to and
(10:09):
like other drugs in the past andso forth, so I knew it was only
going to progress because itwas already getting really bad.
Where you know, again, I wasn'tan everyday drinker yet, but it
was the days that I wasactually sober, became less and
less, where I could only go likethree or four days without
drinking, and it wasn't evenbecause of the physical need,
(10:31):
but it was just because I didn'tknow how to navigate those
feelings right.
It's like even when I was inhangover, I was still kind of
numb in a way, right, I stillwasn't fully like here and
present.
And once that left, I was like,okay, I want to go drink again.
And so that was a reallypivotal moment for me where I
realized, okay, I need to stopnow.
And that's really essentiallywhy I drew a line in the sand.
And you know like I shared my.
(10:52):
My church at that time was, youknow, really small church and
they, they knew what was goingon.
I reached out to them and I waslike, hey, I need?
I just I need help.
You know I need accountability,and so they helped me stay
accountable.
I also hired a sober coach fora short amount of time and then
I hired a Christian therapistbecause I was like, clearly what
I am doing is not working.
So I was like let's just coverall of my bases and, um, and
(11:15):
let's just do this Right.
And so from that point on Ireally just uh, went all in and
living an alcohol-free lifestyle.
I went all in and um you reallyjust following Christ and
getting into community, and um,yeah, just started to learn how
to really again like navigatethose emotions, navigate those
triggers.
And I mean essentially what Idid was create a whole new
(11:36):
lifestyle right.
Yeah, exactly, and I know, forme, what really helped me too
was, um, just shifting mymindset around it too.
I think so often when we thinkof not drinking, or even just
stopping, you know, a bad habitin general, it's like, okay, I
have to stop doing this.
And so my mindset was like,okay, I need to count the days I
need to, you know, not drink.
And I really had to shift mymindset to, okay, well, what can
(11:58):
I focus on instead of going toalcohol?
Right, I love working out, Ilove doing this.
I was already a coach at thattime, but in health and wellness
and so I was like, okay, I canfocus on my coaching and serving
people.
And so for me, that was areally, a really great
perspective shift, instead ofbeing in almost like a lack
mindset of, like what, I'mtaking this thing away from me?
(12:20):
Right, this substance, opposedto looking at, okay, what am I
actually gaining from, you know,letting go of this?
That's actually toxic.
And so, fast forward to.
You know where I'm at now, likethe Lord has really just led me
to helping women like me, youknow, live an alcohol free
lifestyle and essentially stepinto their purpose.
Because I know for me.
This was what I what I seelooking back now, is really just
(12:43):
, has really just beenpreparation for my purpose,
right, like um, just reallystripping away the, the
counterfeit identities, justreally stripping away just what
was never really meant for me,and that was really heavy, and
now I'm able to, you know, walkwomen through this journey and
showing them the foundations ofliving an alcohol free lifestyle
.
Um, but, obviously, my coaching,we do it through, you know, a
faith-based lens and um, andlike I shared, just not looking
(13:06):
at it through, like, okay, let'sjust count the days or let's
just focus on your labels, like,really focus on, okay, what
kind of life do you want tocreate?
What's those dreams that youhave on your heart?
And let's start learning how todo that with healthier habits,
with learning how to navigatelife in a healthier way, and, um
, and also serving right, All ofus here, I feel like, are meant
to serve and we have gifts andwe have talents that the Lord
(13:27):
has, you know.
You know put in um, you knowand put it in us, and um, yeah,
I truly believe that that's.
Um, yeah, that's what the Lordhas put me on this earth for,
and so it's been superlife-giving and um, yeah, that's
my story in a nutshell, kind ofwhere I'm at.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yes, Well, you've touched on so much, so let's
like go back and and look at acouple of things that are
important.
I think for listeners is thevery first thing you talked
about.
You know your rock bottom and Ithink, um, that people
sometimes may get caught up like, well, I'm not that bad yet,
but, um, actually, you knowwe're allowed to get off
whenever we're done like it.
(14:06):
We don't have to be on the verylast, last rung of the ladder
to say this is not something Ineed or want in my life anymore.
So you can be a highlyfunctioning person who is
drinking alcohol habitually andgoing to work every day, but you
know your life is staying stilland you can get off then.
So I think that was reallyimportant to is staying still
and you can get off then.
(14:26):
So I think that was reallyimportant to bring up is that
you can stop wherever you are ifyou notice that it's having a
negative impact.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you know that wasdefinitely, I want to say, a lie
that I was believing.
You know that I had to.
It was almost like I would tellmyself okay, well, it's not
that bad, yet it's that bad,then I'll make a change, right.
And, like you said, it's likewe can.
We can make a change anytime wewant, right.
And I feel like a lot of thetimes we just believe this lie
(14:59):
that we have to be in thishorrible place or that it has to
just be a certain way in orderfor us to make change.
But really it could just besomething as simple.
As you know what, like I'mfeeling this tugging on my heart
that I can do better and I wantto be better.
Why not start now, right?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I mean and you talked about you know um, it was like
losing a limb or that's what youwent to for 10 plus years.
So fear of change is is so is sobig.
But if we can almost shift thataround and be like, wow, if
there's something we're reallyfearful of which, putting down
(15:34):
drinking after you've been doingit for a long time is is a
really scary place to be in,cause like, what are you going
to?
What are you going to do instead?
How are you going to face theworld without this one crutch
that we think is helping so muchand, in turn, it's really
hurting us.
So it's once again that denialand lie that you're telling
yourself or that we tellourselves.
(15:55):
And so if anybody's coming upagainst a fear, it's almost like
a green light to be like, hey,this is probably where you
should be walking through,because once through that fear,
you're going to get some realfreedom.
And the changes that we have tomake may seem so huge in the
beginning, but you know,step-by-step and I think that
(16:18):
you had talked about having acoach and it's something that
you do uh, which is helpingwomen and community is so
important in making thosechanges together because it
becomes.
It becomes easier and becomesmore fun instead of so, like you
know, just like life changingand sitting in your room like
how am I going to get out there?
Well, you have people that walkyou through hand in hand, you
(16:40):
know which is really important.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
And you know, and I do feel likejust going through this work
and obviously working with myclients, like a lot of this work
, while it is, you know, verypractical, and you know it's the
life skills and all of thatit's really important that we,
you know, really reflect on thelens that we are looking through
, right, even just as we weretalking about how the fear of
the unknown and fear of whatit's going to look like being
sober, and how, you know, ourbrain can play tricks on us,
(17:04):
right, and one thing that Ireally like to share with my
clients is looking at, like, howyou're actually seeing freedom.
And if that actually is true,right Cause, in our brains, when
we're stuck in that cycle, it'slike, okay, alcohol is freedom,
right, Alcohol is giving methis relief of anxiety, or
relief of maybe you knowdepression for a little bit, or
you know that escape, like I was.
(17:25):
You know depression for alittle bit, or you know that
escape, like I was, you know,using it for.
But really, if we take a stepback and allow ourselves just to
take a few minutes, it's likeis that actually freedom?
And do you want that to be yourfreedom?
Because essentially it's notright because you have that.
It's almost like I just get avision of just like a chain
right.
So you have so much freedom andit's like, once you break that
bondage and actually lookthrough the, through the correct
(17:46):
lens of freedom, I feel likeeven just that perspective
shifts can make.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Oh, that's so yeah, that's so important because you
can really apply that toanything that you're using to
like decompress, whether it'slike, oh, I'm just going to have
the you know if you'rescrolling or if you're watching
YouTube on repeat every night,or you know, like it's something
that you think is just givingyou the freedom to relax or
(18:11):
whatever, but really it'ssomething you becomes habitual
and it doesn't really have anyyou know, main benefit or that
makes our lives go forward.
So it's so good to sometimestake, take a look at, like what
we're going to that we think isgood for us, or is that
benefiting, relaxing us ormaking us feel less depressed or
(18:33):
sad, or it's bringing us up andis it really, you know?
And to maybe shift that.
And I think when you're incommunity with people that are
honest, they can say maybe notso much.
You know, maybe we could bedoing this instead, and to help
us come up with those solutions.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, and that's what really helped me too.
Like I mentioned, community andcoaching and all that because I
needed that.
You know, other perspectiveCause again, we can get so stuck
we're we're, our brains areconditioned to think a certain
way about freedom, about alcohol, and so if we can have that
help in just shifting it, it canbe so pivotal.
What we think about in ourbrains, it comes out in the
(19:11):
physical and in our actions andin our routines and behavior.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, and when you spoke earlier on binge drinking,
I think that a lot of peoplecome in on different levels,
right, so some can be blackoutdrinkers or binge drinkers or
really have a severe problemwith alcoholism, or they're just
wanting to live an alcohol-freelifestyle.
They're curious about what isthat going to look like.
If I put this down, I feel likeit's starting to become a
(19:37):
problem, you know?
Um, so you talked about labelsand such and you chose not to
put a label on yourself.
Some people may say, yes, I'man alcoholic, I want to go
through these recovery and usethat, but from your decision and
I've heard people say thisbefore you focus more on the
positive solution of the idealof what you want to be as
(20:01):
opposed to what you were.
So can you talk about that alittle bit and the benefits?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, again, I think it goesback to that perspective shift
and really what comes to mind isjust and I'm going to go to the
you know the word of God, whereit says that we are a new
creation, and that's really whathelped me is just reminding
myself okay, I am a new creation, so I can operate as such.
Right, yes, I have a past.
Yes, I've done X, Y, Z and youknow, and maybe even if I, you
know, did consider myself analcoholic, okay, awesome, but
(20:31):
that doesn't mean that's theidentity that I have to carry on
for the rest of my life.
Right, I can still do themaintenance, I can still do what
it takes to live this fruitful,you know life, live this
alcohol free lifestyle.
But I think it's reallyimportant and what I've seen
that's been so pivotal, even formy clients, is really just
breaking that identity, becausethat's not who anybody really is
(20:52):
.
Right, we're more than ourhabits, we're more than the
labels that we put on ourselves.
And even if you do resonatewith being an alcoholic or
whatever that may be, that'stotally fine, because everybody
is so different and whateverhelps you move forward or helps
you, you know, cause sometimesit is helpful for people to put
a label on.
It's kind of like when we go tothe doctor it's like, okay, I
have this thing that's going on,we have a label for it, then we
(21:13):
can find a solution for it,Right.
So that's totally fine.
But I do think there has to bea separation at some capacity so
that we can fully step intothis new life, step into this
new creation that God has, youknow, created us to be, and I
feel like that also helps usjust.
I just just remove thatheaviness, right.
Like I don't think we need tocarry everything that we've gone
(21:34):
through or the past with us,because there's just such a
whole new life, you know, aftersobriety, and you know there's
just so much more to live for.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, and and what was important and I think really
great that you said is is yousaid like he wrecked your life,
like you know, sometimes forlisteners that think, well, you
know, I'm too far gone, or I youknow I don't have a
relationship with God and Idon't know how to pray or I
don't know how to do thesethings to get myself out of this
hole.
(22:05):
It's like I don't think anybodydid.
And I believe that sometimes weget broken and leveled so that
we can look at life from acompletely different view,
because we have to, becausethat's where we are, and then we
can restore and reconcile andrebuild and, you know, getting
around the right people andbeing open to that change.
(22:28):
I think the help comes in.
The spiritual help comes innaturally and it's it's quite
like mind blowing for a lot ofpeople, like, as you speak about
your faith, your face likecompletely lights up, like it's
a full smile, you know, and likeI don't think people at the
beginning of any, any journeywhere we look at ourselves and
(22:49):
try to make a change, nobody'ssmiling that much.
But it does happen and it comes, you know, and you just have to
believe that it's.
You're deserving of that too.
You know this is for anybodyand everybody.
You know that rebuild your.
You know it's for you too.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, absolutely, and I love that you touched on that
point too, because, yeah, it'snot rainbows and butterflies,
it's.
I mean, you are literally, Ijust think of like a foundation
that's just being wrecked, right, but it's a foundation that was
shaky and for me, like, as Isee it, as like the Lord, just
kind of, you know, he filled inthe gaps in my foundation but
there is going to require abreaking for a break so we can
(23:31):
have that solid foundation andagain then build that life from
there.
But yeah, I mean, I'll be thefirst to say it was not easy, it
was very challenging, and therewere, there were many days
where I just, you know, wantedto give up, and it wasn't
necessarily always going toalcohol at that point, but it
was just the emotional thingsthat we just buried down, right,
(23:53):
and so that can be tough and Inever want that to deter anybody
.
But I also I love just beingreal and you know, and that's
why it's important, like we'vebeen talking about here,
community mentorship, whateverthat looks like.
You know it's just one personthat can just get you, you know,
that just understands.
That's going to be so helpful,because I don't think anybody
that's living an alcohol-freelifestyle, sober lifestyle.
(24:16):
I've never met anybody thathasn't had help at some capacity
.
So, yeah, so, so, so, soimportant.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, it reminds me.
There was this woman once thatI met at the very, very
beginning of my journey on myrebuild, and she told me you
know, like picture yourself as ahouse.
What do you see?
And I was like the steps arecracked, the doors hanging off
the hinges, and there is a lotof broken glass.
And she said, okay, now pictureit this the steps are fixed,
(24:45):
All the windows are in place,and now, if you begin today, you
get to just decorate each roomfor the rest of your life, Like
the whole thing.
She just was picturing and shecouldn't like.
She said it a lot better, butshe was trying to show me, like
this is the rebuild and it isincredible, you know, and there
(25:06):
is so much for you in store.
And I couldn't see it at thetime, but I never forgot what
she said and I found that to bevery true.
It's like, you know, we come inas we are, but then we, we
decide to make a change and it'scompletely possible.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Absolutely.
Oh gosh, I love that so much.
Yeah, so good.
Yeah, so we come.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It's funny that you know, we come across people who
say things or come in for aseason to speak into our life
and help us really make a change.
Whether it's a sentence, Isthere anyone that said anything
to you that you can recall thatmade you pay attention?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, I mean honestly , for me it really was like a
big perspective shift from, youknow, my pastor's wife from the
church that I had started goingto, and I remember one day we
were talking about, you know,just, pastor's wife, I'm from
the church that I, you know, hadstarted going to, and I
remember one day we were talkingabout, you know just, the
struggle with alcohol and I juststarted my alcohol free journey
and you know, I was just, I wasjust kind of struggling, you
(26:05):
know, because I was in themindset of, like I have to stop
drinking, you know.
And so she just told me andit's something very simple, but
it made the difference for meand she just said, well, what if
you know, instead of drinking,what if you just do something
else?
Right, it's, maybe it's not,you know, just focusing on not
drinking or not doing this, like, what can you do now that
you're not drinking?
Right, and that, and again, sosimple, but that made the
(26:28):
biggest difference for me.
And that's when I started tofocus more on life giving things
and realized, okay, like one, Ido have the choice to drink or
not, right, but I get to makethat decision.
So, yeah, maybe, maybe it's like, okay, I can't drink, but but
technically I can't, right, andso I think that's something, too
, that really helped me, becauseI think sometimes, when we're
struggling with alcohol orwhatever substance we have in
(26:48):
our brains, oh yeah, I can't,which may be true, but I feel
like that also takes the poweraway from us.
So she really encouraged methat I have the power to choose
and that making that perspectiveshift of instead of I can't do
this to actually I can do thisbecause I'm not doing that, yeah
, and another thing that you hadspoke about and you use the
(27:09):
word serve a lot, and I knowthat when stuck in like a cycle,
that's negative and not goodfor us.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We often are very self-focused and like selfish in
a sense, completely because wejust can't get out of it.
And I know that for me, helpingothers really got me outside of
myself and putting myself in aposition of service, as opposed
to me always self-seeking andfiguring out what I needed to do
(27:37):
kind of just changes yourperspective on you know your day
and in turn you get to followthat out.
So have you found that to betrue as well?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Absolutely, and gosh, yeah, it just really helps us
shift our focus.
And, you know, I think, at theend of the day, we're trying to
distract ourselves, especiallywhen, especially when we're in
that, you know, season, andthat's just such a healthy
distraction and it's also veryfulfilling, right, because when
we, when we drink or when we dothese different things, we are
trying to, at the end of the day, we're trying to fill a void,
right.
(28:07):
And so, again, going back tosomething that's actually
life-giving, like serving, itfills our cup up, right, and
it's also's also helping others,and I feel like that's
something that that we misssometimes and it's something so
simple that we can do thatactually can be so fulfilling.
And again, like you said, ittakes the focus off of, like
everything that's quote, unquote, wrong and shifts it to
(28:29):
something positive, you know,and again, like and I feel like
this all sounds like like it'sso simple and but it's gosh,
it's so pivotal if you actuallyput it into action.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, and not to minimize, like when you do give
up alcohol.
I know for myself like it is.
It's a difficult time.
However, you know it ispossible and and it's just in
those day-to-days.
You know those day-to-daythings that you do differently.
And, um, serving, it's like mybrother always has this saying
(29:01):
it's like do good, feel good,and so a lot of times we're
leveled when we're living in alifestyle that that doesn't
serve us Like.
So our confidence is leveled,our capability and our feeling
that we're able to achieveanything is diminished, like
everything's kind of taken away.
So when we start to get outthere and like serve or do good
or try to, you know, shift whatwe're doing onto others, it kind
(29:25):
of feeds us to kind of rebuildourselves and be like someone's
relying on me.
I'm going to keep my commitment.
I said I promised to do that,so I will do that.
So you kind of flip it.
You do everything different.
You know if you want thingsdone, if you want something
different, do things differently.
That was a line somebody's toldme and I was like wow, okay,
cause I was really in a cycle ofdoing everything the same every
(29:47):
day, you know.
And then when I wanted to breakfree and make a change, I had
to pointedly do things differentin my day, and it gave me
different results.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Right, yeah, yeah, again, it's that perspective
shift too.
It's like, okay, well, am Igoing to keep doing the same
thing over and over again,expecting a different result,
cause that's what everybody says, right, the definition of
insanity.
Or am I going to switch it up?
Sure, different result.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, yeah, and you know, having like a DUI, it said
, and or anything else thathappens that's negatively
impacts it's not only you knowthose things in itself.
You know, making a change to bealcohol free eliminates your the
possibility of a life alteringconsequence.
You know this.
(30:32):
It's like we're talking simply,but these results or these
consequences of living in a waywhere you're not aware of what
you're doing, you're altered,can have life-altering
consequences, not only for mebut for other people.
And that was a large part ofwhy I stopped, because I thought
I'm okay at this point beingself-destructive toward myself,
(30:55):
but I'm going to what if I hurtsomeone else?
You know, like, those are real,harsher realities of drinking
and harsher realities of likebeing a part of living in a way
that is, um, you know,detrimental, right To only
ourselves but other people andthat's eliminated and so we can
walk freer and we can know that,hey, you know we're being
(31:17):
responsible, we're being amember of society, we're
participating in the like,health and wellness of other
people, instead of, you know,and just our loved ones.
They get us at our fullcapacity and our availability,
instead of just, you know,taking ourselves out of being a
part of that.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, definitely.
It actually reminds me of oneof my clients I had, you know, a
few years ago, and that waskind of her draw line in the
sand moment where she realizedthat she was really negatively
impacting her daughter.
And I remember she had messagedme and said that her daughter,
but the first time I found, canyou not drink tonight?
And that was one of her pivotalmoments where she was like,
(31:58):
okay, I need to make a change.
And now she's been alcohol free, you know, for years and she's,
you know, starting a coachingbusiness and all of that, and so
, yeah, just kind ofpiggybacking on what you said,
it's like, you know, this onedecision impacts your family, it
impacts those around you andthen, essentially, like,
everybody has a purpose and acalling, so then it's going to
(32:18):
have even a.
It's like a ripple effect,right, that we just don't
realize, because sometimes we'rejust kind of in this, in this
little box that we put ourselvesin, right.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, yeah.
And with with children, I thinkthey really watch like, um, so
recently, like I had, I waseating like just like poorly,
lots of sugar, all this stufffor kind of a long time.
We've been really busy and justgoing out and doing this.
And my daughter was eight andshe said to me one night I want
you to get healthy.
And I said, gosh, like what doyou mean by that?
(32:48):
And she said, because yourchoices are going to influence
use that word, influence mine.
And I was like, wow, here I hadbeen wanting to make a change
for so long.
But hearing it from her,knowing that I was her example,
and that was, and I committed tothat.
So May 1st I went sugar-free,dairy-free, and I lost 30 pounds
(33:10):
and I just changed it and Istarted to get the energy, came
back, everything.
And you know, it's that examplewe're giving.
Like you have to think, gosh,you know what kind of examples
are we giving, right, and what ablessing that she was that
night.
It was like divine interventionthrough her little voice, like
I couldn't hear it from anyoneelse, but for her I'll change my
(33:30):
whole world.
So she really prompted me tomake a change in myself, like
for health, for health wise, andit was just incredible, because
sometimes when we give up onehabit, you know, here, years
down the road I picked upanother one, you know, and
whether he did it to cope orjust because I was stressed,
stressed or with work, doesn'tmatter, it's like I was doing it
(33:52):
and like mindlessly, and so wedon't have to do that.
But sometimes it takes theattention given to us from our
loved ones to really make achange, right.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
And kids are so awesome.
I love hearing stories likethat.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yes, Like that's what it took, right, that's what it
took.
Just one line from my girl andyeah, it's something I've been
struggling with for a couple ofyears.
So that's really incredible.
And, like that one client youwere talking about, you know, um
making that change, like what adifferent home she has.
You know her attention issomewhere where it's supposed to
be.
It's wonderful and not alwayspossible for everyone.
(34:28):
So you know, it's really the,the gratitude and, um, you know
just being grateful that we wereable to turn a corner and, um,
you know a lot of people arestruggling and they can too, um,
and you know, I definitely wantpeople to know that like may
not be completely, um easy, butso possible, like the hope is so
(34:49):
there because it's, it'savailable for anyone at any time
, you know, to make a changelike that.
And the help is there theonline help, the in-person help.
So let's, at this point, if youdon't mind, sharing with us,
like, what do you do and who doyou specifically help and how?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, definitely so.
The way I help my clients rightnow, well, so I help women
Christian women typically, butI'm also open to helping
everybody.
Like you don't have to be aChristian in order to come to me
, because everything that Iteach it's going to be helpful
for anybody that's strugglingwhen it comes to the binge
drinking cycle.
So, but typically it isChristian women that are just in
(35:30):
that in-between, where they'renot physically addicted to
alcohol, but they're kind of inthe danger zone.
Right.
They have that tugging on theirheart to stop drinking.
They know that they're overdrinking, even if it's just once
a month, and they want to dobetter, they want to be better.
They have a dream and a purposeon their heart and they want to
accomplish that, but they knowthat alcohol is hindering them
in that area.
But also when it comes to theirrelationships, like we kind of
talked about with you knowexample, like my past clients,
(35:52):
and so the way that I help womenis really just taking them
through a 12 week mentorship andI essentially just help them
build, build a foundation ofliving an alcohol free lifestyle
.
So, like we talked about a lottoday, and navigating emotions
and triggers and really havingperspective shifts and, you know
, in between that, just reallyholding them accountable.
So I'm really big on, you know,just being really present with
(36:16):
my clients and having a lot oftouch points, especially at the
beginning, so they have theaccountability and life support
that they need when they arehaving those triggers or
struggling or whatever that maybe.
And of course, I do it througha faith-based lens, so it's
really paired with faith andthen also very practical life
skills that I teach them just toreally build that foundation.
(36:38):
I will say most of my clientswill work with me probably more
than three months.
Typically they work with mefrom six months to a year,
sometimes even two years, justbecause there's so much more to
build after that.
Right, and so that'sessentially how I help women and
it's really simple.
We have Zoom calls, we get inTelegram and just kind of chat
back and forth and it's really alot of that live coaching and
(37:00):
mentorship.
I would say if there was like afirst step that I would tell
anybody is to really wouldreally be to join my free
community that I have onFacebook.
I have a lot of free content inthere just to kind of get
started, get a feel of you knowhow I coach and also just get
some free resources, and I'malso very present on on Tik TOK.
There's tons of content thereas well, so I think that's a
(37:22):
really great place to start, andthen I know you're going to
link my my website as well, ifanybody wants to.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, I'll put actually all of that in the show
notes.
Um, if anyone wants to reachout to crystal and join her free
community, that's a great step.
Um, so what are?
What name are you under for?
Um, face your Facebookcommunity group.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Um.
The Facebook community group iscalled the kingdom or it's
called kingdom Alliancecommunity.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Okay, kingdom, alliance, community and um, and
also Tik TOK.
Yes, yes, okay, yeah, okay.
And what name is that under?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
That's just under my first and last name.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Okay, and what name is that under?
That's just under my first andlast name.
Okay, great, do you have anything you can say to anyone
listening that is fearful ofmaking that change?
I heard a long time ago that,like spirituality, is the
process of removal, not addition.
And so we talked about likefilling it up with alcohol,
filling it up with binging orwhatever.
(38:18):
And you know, once we removethat, it's scary.
It's like it up with alcohol,filling it up with binging or
whatever.
And you know, once we removethat, it's scary.
It's like, wow, now what?
You know, how am I going toface the world?
What am I going to do to cope?
And so what would be like afirst step for a first day or
second day, when you're justputting it down and you're just
deciding to go about your dayLike what?
What could you tell them?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, I would say, you know when we're making, uh,
what we essentially know is, youknow, a life change.
I think sometimes we look at the, we look at the big picture,
right, and we get overwhelmedand have anxiety, and so one
thing that I would say that wasreally helpful for me, that's
really helpful for my clients,is really just taking it one
step at a time and one day at atime.
I know we hear that all the time, right, it's like one day at a
time, but I really, trulybelieve that you know, instead
(39:01):
of looking at you know, the bigpicture, thinking, oh my gosh,
I'm going to have to stopdrinking for the rest of my life
, just really taking it just onebite at a time and um, and
really just having some sort ofaccountability and mentorship
where you can just really um,just at least have a sounding
board right, especially at thebeginning, whatever that looks
like.
You know whether that's youknow something at your church or
(39:23):
whether it's you know a coachlike me, whatever that looks
like.
But that's what I would say,that I would um, I would say for
the beginning, as far as likeday one, to have that
accountability and to really goin with the mindset of you know
what, like, I'm just going totake it one day at a time, just
one bite at a time, and letthings unfold.
You know like build on thatfoundation.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Okay, great, lots of insight, great inspiration, and
so you're really.
You're really focused onhelping women who are in that
middle of the stage.
You know, may not be aneveryday drinker, but are
looking to just like completelyremove alcohol because it's
getting in the way in some wayand you can walk them through it
.
So I really appreciate youcoming on here sharing what you
do, and not only that, buthaving the courage to share your
personal story so that otherscan come forward and share
(40:09):
theirs.
So, um it.
Yeah, if you want to join herkingdom Alliance community
Facebook group, find her on TikTOK.
I'm going to put all that inthe show notes below and I thank
you so much for coming on theshow today.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Thank you so much.
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