August 27, 2024 • 31 mins
Join us for an empowering episode with Lisann Valentin, a lawyer turned actor and New York Times bestselling author, who shares her compelling journey from a childhood immersed in drinking culture to an adulthood filled with success.
Having walked away from a law career and into the entertainment industry, Lisann followed her passion landing hit shows like Manifest and The Blacklist, to the New York Times best-selling anthology Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It. Today, the lawyer-turned-actor gives listeners insights on how to honor their own authenticity and live out their true calling.
Lisann offers a glimpse into her early life, growing up with an alcoholic father, and how these experiences shaped her empathetic nature and self-soothing strategies, such as journaling and introspection. Through her eyes, we gain insight into the normalization of alcohol in professional settings and how her initial pursuit of acting for litigation skills evolved into a career that aligns with her core values and passions.
Lisann emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with one's "why" and integrating diverse talents into a fulfilling practice. Lisann's story is a testament to breaking free from societal pressures and hustle culture, underlining the necessity of honoring one's true self in both work and life.
Tune in for an inspiring conversation that challenges conventional notions of success and encourages a balanced, meaningful approach to personal and professional growth.
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Website: LISANN G. VALENTIN (lgvalentin.com)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My next guest has been known to grace the silver
screen, illuminate the pages ofbestselling books, all while
helping people navigate personaltransformation From hit shows
like Manifest, narcos and theBlacklist to the New York Times
bestselling anthology Eat PrayLove Made Me Do it.
My next guest captivatesaudiences and readers with her
(00:21):
raw vulnerability and empoweringwisdom.
She's going to open up todayabout her personal story of
growing up with alcoholism andaddiction all around her, yet
somehow using those tools tonavigate as a highly functioning
adult.
So listen in and hear how shetransformed her life and is
helping others transform theirs.
(00:43):
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
(01:06):
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Living Stories podcast
(01:45):
.
Meet my next guest, lise AnnValentin.
She's a lawyer turned actor anda New York Times bestselling
author of the anthology Eat,pray.
Love Made Me Do it.
Oftentimes grab tools whilewe're growing up that either
hinder us or help us grow, andshe's going to share with us
part of her personal story andthen tell us how she's helping
(02:06):
other multi-talented individualsfind their true calling.
Welcome to the show, lisan Hi.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Jessica, thank you, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So good to have you here.
Yeah, let's start with as farback as you want to go in your
personal story, all the way upand until present day and what
you're doing today.
Just start from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
When I was really little, I used to run around in
my Wonder Woman underwearchasing an imaginary villain,
and I was determined that I washer.
And so when I saw her spinningon TV, I mean this is Linda
Carter, right, and I would dothe same thing.
And I think the questions Istarted to ask myself later,
(02:51):
when I look back on who was Irunning from and who was I
becoming?
And I think those were two keyaspects of how I became who I am
now.
I think that when you grow up Imean I love my parents my father
was an alcoholic and he had hisaddictions and that was a
(03:12):
family situation and it informedhow I walked into a room, how I
navigated family parties whereit was normalized that the men
drank and would drive us home orthat, you know, he'd pick us up
and he'd be drinking like fromschool and I would always watch
that, even though I was, Iwasn't told that that's not
(03:35):
something I had to watch for.
It was just my hypervigilanceevolved into an incredible
amount of empathy where I couldfeel a room, and so for a long
time it did hinder me, becausethe story I told myself then,
without having the language forit was that I was responsible
for everyone's emotions andpersonal safety, while looking
(03:56):
after my own, being my ownsuperhero, twirling around the
energy all around me.
Who was I running from?
Who was I becoming?
It was all of that, and Ididn't really have languaging
for it.
Not for a really long time, butbeing hypersensitive did affect
me, I think, in those earlyyears, just because I was saving
(04:19):
myself and trying to saveeveryone in the process.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I can relate to taking responsibility for my own
protection, my own safety, andthat creates us to be
self-sufficient which is like.
So how did thatself-sufficiency play out?
Did it hurt you or did it helpyou?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, I think both I did become super self-sufficient
in terms of how to self-soothe,so I would take to journaling
really little and at the time Iwould talk to God and I would
rant and rave and then complainand then also get really
comforted by the words I'd endup writing in response to myself
.
And so I had I gained tools interms of learning to process and
(05:06):
assess what I was feeling andwhy.
When I was angry, why I wasangry, when I was happy, why,
and sort of learning to assesshow I felt.
So that way I wasn't becomingmired by how everyone else was
feeling.
So early on, when I was younger,my parents, you know, my father
(05:26):
was drinking, so he was thevillain and my mother wasn't, so
she was the saint, and so itwas this very black and white
environment in my child's mindand I didn't notice that there
this wasn't normal until Istepped outside of my family
dynamic.
We're super insulated.
There were like 35 cousins, solike we were, that was a party.
You didn't need other outsiders, like that was everyone.
And so when I, when I did goout into the world and make
(05:50):
friends outside of that dynamicand see I would witness parents
everywhere Like.
That was the first thing I waswatching for to see the men
drinking to the extent that theywould and like why my like the
women in my family wereattracting, magnetizing this
experience.
And none of them drank.
Interestingly enough, my momdidn't, none of her sisters did,
(06:11):
neither did my grandparents,but all the men married into the
family did.
So it took me a while to see theoutside of the family dynamic.
It wasn't alcohol, wasn'tnecessarily part of the
experience for everyone.
That goes with ebbs and flows,because where I did see a
resurgence was when I went tolaw school and the dynamic was
(06:32):
everyone drank all the time.
That's what you did Then, whenI was at a firm, everyone drank
socially for clients.
Everything was centered.
It was centered around checkingout.
That's how I perceived it.
So it wasn't about being in theexperience, it's about checking
out of the experience.
So I went from being in a placewhere I needed to be so present
(06:54):
to be safe Fast forward wheremy very first career.
I was checking out, to feelsafe, and I gained a lot of
compassion from my dad.
Like it took that experience forme where I felt like you know
what, if I'm not checking myselfnow, I'm going to go down this
(07:15):
road.
And I really had.
And I'm thankful that I had thewherewithal to say within
myself and I said God, help meto stop, help me not to go
beyond like what I'm capable of.
So I mean, if I had a drinkthat would lead to three drinks,
that would lead to six, and I'dbe sick the next day, I
couldn't handle it and so I'dasked to stop.
(07:37):
So after, if I had a drink, thesecond drink I would get
physically ill then, then andthere, like I would feel
nauseated, then and there.
So I needed a physical impetusto stop me.
And that's what I got, becausethat's what I wanted, because I
needed that halt, so I wouldn'tgo down that road.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
yeah, yeah so is that a bar?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
yeah, um, what?
Yeah, total fear.
Oh, my gosh, did I lose you?
It was a total fear, um, youknow, because I had these
archetypes at home.
Who was I gonna be?
Was I gonna be the villain, wasI gonna be the saint?
The truth is, we're both.
We're always both, um, but Igot to experience the villain
(08:19):
story to understand that it's,it's just a saint.
That's been really hurt youknow what I mean.
Yes, Unable to be present,unable to be here, and I have so
much compassion for his and myfather.
You know he's in recovery, beenin recovery for decades, but it
took me a long time and it tookthat experience for me to have
(08:39):
compassion for his journey,because for a long time I didn't
Sure.
That didn't mean thehypervigilance went away.
It just shifted and changedinto a more empowering way of
walking into a room.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You know, I I previously had on someone who
was a lawyer and she said thesame thing about, um, the
culture of being in law schooland then also being in a firm,
and how the stress managementand the networking was so
saturated with alcohol she justdidn't even know what to do.
And so, yeah, it's just part ofthat and how do you?
(09:12):
But I love how you kind of hadit seems like you had such an
awareness of like I don't wantto do this and you asked for
help.
You asked for, like spiritualhelp, like don't let me go
beyond this yeah and because Ithink you had an awareness and a
fear of like that geneticpredisposition or what growing
up like that and and it wasanswered, you know you actually
(09:35):
got physically ill after youknow two drinks.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah so, yeah, I mean , and I think that's what that
was a driving force throughoutevery shift in transformation my
life was my relationship withthe divine.
I didn't need the labels, butI'm comfortable with them.
And so, even since little, whenI was journaling, I was opening
the door to conversation,feedback, support, even when it
(09:59):
didn't take a traditionalmethodology.
It was just my own way ofconnecting, if that makes sense.
And so when I verbally askedfor it and I decided that that's
what's going to happen, it justwasn't a surprise to me.
It was like, of course.
Of course this showed up theway I needed it to, you know,
and yeah, I did one in my family.
Um, on my father's side,alcoholism it was his.
(10:22):
His father died from cirrhosisof liver and he was a heavy
drinker.
Um, and so, as far as I knew,this was on Lisa, my dad's side
was pretty common.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, you know a lot of people that come on talk
about help from therapy, helpfrom 12 step as far as them
being in addiction themselves,or a wife or husband of someone
who is watching someone strugglewith addiction or alcoholism.
But what it sounds like to meis that you, from a very early
age, journaled specifically toGod.
(10:57):
You know and God answers.
So it's almost like you grew uplistening and so you were able
to receive and feel the presenceof um God early.
So he just so it's like youcircumvented, like through
therapy, and just went right tothe greatest power of them all.
(11:18):
Right, and so you can feel that.
So I'm not surprised to readthat you're a spiritual, a
certified spiritual coach,because that makes complete
sense.
And then you know it kind offreed up your time to like focus
on these goals that you had.
I mean, law school was probablya great undertaking.
Did you practice law after?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I did.
I practiced law for eight years.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Eight years.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And then what made you leave law and go into more
creative industry like actingand writing?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
as a career path.
And so I was very logical,rational, and this didn't seem
logical or rational to me toplay for a living.
Interestingly enough, that'sall I do now is play.
It's amazing, but at the time Ijust like this didn't make
sense to me.
And so when I was in my firstyear practicing law, that's when
I started a book club andstarted exploring whatever this
was inside of me that was likeitching to come out.
(12:29):
There was something.
I didn't know what it was.
And then I think by my secondyear I'd, and that's when I
walked into an acting class.
I'd asked a friend about it.
I wanted to be better atlitigation.
It was challenging for me to bein court and not take it home,
and this was all around the timewhere it was, like you know,
(12:51):
for networking and everythinglike alcohol was very much a
person in the room with everyone, right, wow, yeah, yeah.
And so, like, how do I?
I don't need to become the bestfriends with alcohol to
navigate this.
I needed to find another friend, and acting was that friend.
Um, then I fell in love with itand I started pursuing it on
(13:13):
the side until I got comfortableenough with a plan to leave um,
set myself up just to feel safe, like in this, like branching
off um, and I hit the groundrunning literally within a year
after that.
That's when I became part ofthe pre-love made me do it,
which became an airtimesbestseller.
(13:35):
I was on multiple tv shows andmovies, um, and then all through
that time I was still lookingfor the thing, right.
Because here's a funny thingabout addiction it shows up in
so many ways.
It's not just alcohol.
Work is an addiction.
Anything that checks you out ofthis moment that you're so
(13:57):
enthralled.
It's an enthrallment, right,that helps us deal with we say,
deal with air quotes, withwhat's going on in our life,
because the easiest thing to dois to not deal.
And so when I was addicted towork in litigation, right, that
was something that I ended upleaning into and I had to check
out of that.
Then I became sort of havingthat same drive and acting like
(14:20):
go, go, go, go, go, and that hadto stop.
It was an old paradigm beingmirrored in my creative life.
And even though I had a vibrantspiritual life, even though I'm
very connected, like I'm highlyintuitive and super connected
and I love it, and yet I'm avery much a human being who has
a hissy fit with God half thetime and I was like this isn't
(14:43):
moving the way I want it to moveand how can I shift this?
And literally I had to stop andlook at myself and say what's
my why?
What is my why here?
Is my why to get the next biggig, the next co-star, guest
star role or the lead?
Or is my why just to really bein the essence of who I am and
(15:04):
enjoying my life?
So if I'm just quirky, toughass, but also super
compassionate person, how can Ishow up as that, no matter what
role I'm playing, right, right,then how can I help ignite that
in other people?
Because we're multifaceted,there's so much to all of us,
and so getting back to my whyhelped me break another pattern.
(15:25):
Addiction will lead you awayfrom your why Always.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah, Always.
You can even see that.
You know the saying.
That says what is the one thingthat you're ignoring doing?
That's probably the thing thatyou should be doing, that's
probably it, that's probably itRight.
And that always stops me in mytracks, Cause you know, we go so
quickly and try to keep up andand it always stops me in my
(15:53):
tracks and I think, well, whatis it?
You know.
And it's usually not the thingthat's in front of me.
You know, just those highspeeds that people move at these
days to recognize that soimportant and so good.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Really it was hustle culture right.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
For me it was hustle culture for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I had to really break out of that Hustle.
Culture is addictive.
You get immediate results withit, so you get that dopamine hit
right away, right and like, andso social media can be a part
of that.
You can think about oh, theylike me, okay, that's, you know.
This is all validation forsomething that we need.
Right, right.
And so breaking out of hustleculture was really important.
(16:33):
Like before we went andrecorded, you were talking about
the length of time it has takenyou to dive into your personal
story, to put it out into theworld.
Hustle culture would shame,that there would be shame
associated with that.
Being in authentic living at apace that honors you totally,
(16:55):
totally, totally, shines a lighton that process, the longevity
of it, the unfolding of it.
You bake a cake and you taketime with each ingredient.
Right, you can use an easy bakeoven.
I guess if you're a little girland do it in 10 minutes, it's a
very different experience.
And so yeah, I would say that ifyou're outside of hustle
culture, your art would behonored.
The art of the telling of yourlife story would be honored.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, good point.
You know even the literarycommunity that I'm a part of,
you know, the reason that I likethem is because they're not
they.
They're really into their work,like the craft of it, like the
of writing they're.
They're not about speed likethe of writing they're.
(17:44):
They're not about speed,they're not up on all the social
media platforms.
Um, some probably have troubleeven getting to that part of it,
but they're so in tune withwhat they're doing and they are
really proud of their work.
You know, and and nobody's in arush to like get it out there.
And, um, and it's just such theflip when you look around, it's
(18:04):
like, hey, I'm going to runthis through here and produce a
book, and and, um, get it out assoon as possible so I can sell
this or sell this course or dothis.
And like, they talk about itbeing like a business card as
opposed to your story or your,your life's work.
You know, so I can relate tothat a lot and that's why I
(18:24):
admire that community, becauseit's kind of rare.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think it's your perspective, right?
I think it's like.
So what I mean is you're in a,but what I'm hearing you say is
you're in a space where yourworldview, your perspective,
allows you to foster and nurturehow you grow and how you shine,
whereas someone in the writingworld may have a different
experience.
(18:46):
Where they may be in a worldwhere it's like you need to
write to market, you need tostay in one lane, you need to
put these books out every month,you need to create a list so
that way you can monetize whatyou do as a writer, and it's a
hustle hustle mentality.
So there may be two differentperspectives, right?
One where it's like the art ofit, the other where it's like a
(19:06):
pure marketing perspective yeah,it's like following the dollar,
like all the way down the line,right what's, but what's your
why?
if you go back to why, then youget to choose which perspective
you experience.
That's right.
Individual.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
So how did you put down the hustle culture?
Like when you were acting andyou saw, wow, this is becoming
about that.
Like how did you put it downand how did it change you or
your perspective?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Literally, I was forced to put it down because I
was in it and didn't evenrecognize it.
I thought I'd already recognizeit.
I thought I'd already left it.
I thought I'd left hustleculture behind with the law and
all of a sudden I was in thecenter of that twirling,
twirling, twirling, not seeingit, you know.
And again was I running from it?
Or who was I becoming Like?
Who's the villain now?
Right, and so like it was thepandemic that stopped me.
(19:58):
Just before lockdown in NewYork I sprained my ankle so bad
on the way to I was shootingsomething in Queens and I'd
sprain my ankle in the stupidestway.
I still did it.
And I came back and I couldn'twalk the next day and I had an
audition and I was furious Again, my human will, like rebel,
(20:21):
even though my intuitive selfwas like be, still Trust this is
happening for a reason.
And I was off my feet for likea month and I couldn't go out to
auditions.
I was frustrated and then wewent on lockdown.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
And when I got to be still, I got to say, huh, what's
happening?
Why was I in such a like push,push, push, instead of letting
myself being pulled into my, myreality?
Because I've had experienceagain going back to, I meditated
a lot, since I was reallylittle, like all of my tools, I
kind of like was shoving themaside for something that was
(20:59):
familiar, which is the go, go,go, the success.
The dopamine hit rightAchieving, achieving, achieving.
And so the pandemic hit.
I was forced to slow down.
I ended up writing another book,which also hit number one, like
the first two weeks, and thatwas an independent publishing,
thank you.
But it was important because itwas merging this idea of like
(21:21):
your craft right and how youspeak to yourself and how you
honor yourself.
And it was the forced slowdownthat helped me get back to my
center.
And that's when I started.
That's when I became certifiedas a spiritual coach, certified
as a Reiki master.
I was doing these things that,like in the past, I wouldn't
(21:41):
have done, because I grew upwith these modalities and I
didn't know that people gotcertified in them Right in them,
to be honest, and I'd beenhelping people my whole life,
but it was just part of who Iwas.
It wasn't what I did, wasn'twhat I did and I was like, well,
(22:05):
maybe I can, as I'm learning, Ican turn around and hold my
hand out for the person that'scoming up behind me so they can
walk beside me.
We can walk together into thisnext level of transformation.
All that to say is I've had somany careers, I have had a lot
of successes.
I've also had a lot ofstruggles.
That doesn't make the highlightreal, but it does become the
texture of who I am and how Ican show up for someone who's
also in that experience, in thatjourney of self-doubt.
(22:28):
They don't know if this is thenext step.
They don't know if this is theright thing.
They're so used to hearingeveryone else's voice that they
forget the voice inside of them.
Because I've been there, asintuitive as I am, I've been
there and I've listened to thething outside of me before I
turned around and said, hey,what's happening inside of you?
And so that's how I ended upgoing on this journey.
(22:48):
That's a very long monologue,jessica.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, but I mean, it was filled with so much it's
invaluable.
It was filled with so much sothe journey that you're on now
as being a certified spiritualcoach would you say that is your
primary job right now.
Yeah, and then if you do anyacting or you do any writing,
it's an offshoot of that.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, I would say yes , and I had decided, yeah, that
I would shift this idea of I hadto do just the one thing.
So I thought I did that when Iwas acting right, I'm
multi-hyphenate, I was directing, I was just playing in all
arenas, and writing has alwaysbeen a part of it.
But I decided that I was goingto merge everything.
(23:34):
I didn't want tocompartmentalize my gifts.
I wanted them to work as awhole, as a unit.
I was just really tired oftrying to juggle a bunch of
plates and just not enjoying themeal.
You know what I mean.
And I was like who says it hasto be this separate thing, you
(23:55):
know?
And so I feel like I'm in thatspace where this is the feast.
I'm at it, this is it Right, Ilove that it's great, yes, so
true, so relatable.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
It's so hard to maintain and juggle all of it
right and then to really speakto what you do.
I think why it's so needed isbecause so many times people
don't know how to put it on oneplate, you know, and how to
combine all their talents totheir one true purpose.
(24:33):
You know I mean it's, it's theideal goal, but and?
But they may not even know that.
They may think I have to dothis first and then I'm gonna
have to do that, and then thattakes off, and then they can
never get to this.
I mean, so it's so needed, andespecially in this fast-paced
social media world whereeveryone's doing, you know,
which is a gift in itself, truly, because we do have access and
(24:56):
we can do what we want.
Like you're talking aboutplaying, like I get to play, you
know you're, you're living outyour create creativity, whereas
before, like he, for me, I, youknow, we grew up.
We think we have to follow thestraight line which I completely
was in defiance of for like adecade, which was my difficult
years, because I thought I'm notgoing to join in to the cookie
(25:20):
cutter home and the you know,the marriage scene.
Like I, I wanted to going tojoin in to the cookie cutter
home and the marriage scene.
I wanted to write my book, Iwanted to travel to Africa.
I had things in mind thatweren't in the line.
And then what you said earlier,when you were practicing law
and you thought why did youleave there?
You were saying you're livingout your creativity now, whereas
(25:41):
before you thought you had to.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I was like follow a straight line, and that wasn't
something that was feasible,wasn't rational.
I don't remember what I saideither, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But it resonated, it hit, and I can relate to that
because I think the world ofsocial media and online and in
the way of marketing what you do, allows you to do that and to
reach so many people, so there'ssomething really good about it.
But it also can move you in alot of different directions if
you're not grounded in what youwant to do and I'm just hearing
(26:14):
that's how you help people fromsomeone who has had a lot of
talents creatively andacademically, like you have your
education behind you.
You can help people who arestruggling.
Maybe they're writing, maybethey're wanting to grow out a
(26:38):
business, or maybe they'rewanting to go into a helping or
serving field, where they'redoing sharing their personal
life experience, um to build acommunity.
Like how are you helping andwho is your ideal client right
now?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Sounds like all of them, because my ideal client is
the, the woman who isnavigating a creative life and
building a business at the sametime.
She is navigating how herpersonal life looks in doing the
two things.
So the thing that people don'ttalk about is as an actor,
you're your own business.
If you're not treating that asyour own business, it would only
(27:15):
get you so far.
That means you're putting yourdestiny in someone else's hands
completely without owning ortaking sovereignty for yourself.
It's the same thing as a writeryou think you're going to write
the book and then you're justgoing to like the agent's going
to appear and then it's justgoing to.
It gets going to hit number oneand everyone's going to love it
.
Maybe or maybe you take, likeownership of your story and and
(27:40):
you use wisdom and discernmentto put it out there, and then
you surrender it, knowing thatpeople are going to do what they
want with your life, with yourword, with your baby.
People are going to do whatthey want with it.
So you surrender it at thatpoint, and so that's also a
business model, right?
Who are you in that business?
How do you show up for thatbusiness?
How do you let yourself.
I keep hearing the Spanish worddesarrollar like the unfolding
(28:03):
of your story without censoringoh my God, censoring, because
the old story of I have to walka straight line and do all the
things the right way quote,unquote right way and check all
the boxes so I can be perfect,so I can fit the mold, so that
way everyone will be happy andlove me and so I can be worthy
(28:23):
enough to achieve this goal.
That's what that straight lineis so I can be worthy enough to
show up.
I have to follow all theserules and stick to this straight
line.
For me that was my story in thepast.
Life is not a straight line.
It is a wavy, wiggly.
Jeremy Bear me is somethinglike this show called the Good
Place, so how it squiggles.
(28:44):
That's what life is.
It's a freaking mess where youget to play and so I help people
.
Make a mess.
Just make a mess and see whereyou fit in that mess, like I had
a client.
We watched the movie Ghosttogether.
Just one scene the clay.
The scene where Demi Moore andPatrick Swayze are she's she's
(29:09):
throwing clay and he's, hishands are in it with her.
It's a very sensual andbeautiful scene and it's so
messy, like literally, theirhands are full of clay.
Can you, as an adult, let yourhands get in the mix of your
life?
Can you do the creative workand allow it to be a business,
even if it's messy and notperfect?
Can you show up and tell thetruth?
(29:30):
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth, no matter whatit looks like, and feel held in
that truth.
Can you do that?
And if you can't, are yougetting support to that way?
You feel like your hand is heldas you use your voice and
express that truth?
Because I'll tell you one thingwhen you help and honor and love
yourself that much, it shootsout like confetti across the
world.
It really does.
(29:50):
It really really does.
But when we hide behind theline, behind achievement, behind
some old story, we're soldierslike ants marching across the
line.
And then who's served by thatother than the ants on those
line, on that line like who?
No one.
So I think it's just about, ifyou let yourself play, let
(30:12):
yourself make a mess, you'llfind that the old story remolds
itself in a way to serve you now, to keep you grounded.
To keep you grounded, to keepyou accountable, to help you
show up for yourself and yourbusiness and to help you really
shine in a place that brings youjoy.
Because, at the end of the day,if you're like walking around
(30:34):
going, what's my purpose?
What's my purpose?
I'm going to tell you somethingreally basic to live in love,
to be that joy, to amplify yourlight, to laugh, because these
things that we forgot to do whenwe were little Wonder Woman,
spinning across the living roomwith the TV, those things, they
(30:54):
lead you to the purpose, theylead you to how you show up and
lead others.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Such good insights.
Where can people find you?
Oh, across social media I'mshow up and lead others.
Such good insights.
Where can people find you?
Oh, I'm on across social media.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm at Lisa and Valentin and online it's
LGValentincom.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
I'm so glad to have you on the show today.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanovichcom.
My next guest has been known to grace the silver
screen, illuminate the pages ofbestselling books, all while
helping people navigate personaltransformation From hit shows
like Manifest, narcos and theBlacklist to the New York Times
bestselling anthology Eat PrayLove Made Me Do it.
My next guest captivatesaudiences and readers with her
(00:21):
raw vulnerability and empoweringwisdom.
She's going to open up todayabout her personal story of
growing up with alcoholism andaddiction all around her, yet
somehow using those tools tonavigate as a highly functioning
adult.
So listen in and hear how shetransformed her life and is
helping others transform theirs.
(00:43):
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
(01:06):
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Living Stories podcast
(01:45):
.
Meet my next guest, lise AnnValentin.
She's a lawyer turned actor anda New York Times bestselling
author of the anthology Eat,pray.
Love Made Me Do it.
Oftentimes grab tools whilewe're growing up that either
hinder us or help us grow, andshe's going to share with us
part of her personal story andthen tell us how she's helping
(02:06):
other multi-talented individualsfind their true calling.
Welcome to the show, lisan Hi.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Jessica, thank you, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So good to have you here.
Yeah, let's start with as farback as you want to go in your
personal story, all the way upand until present day and what
you're doing today.
Just start from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
When I was really little, I used to run around in
my Wonder Woman underwearchasing an imaginary villain,
and I was determined that I washer.
And so when I saw her spinningon TV, I mean this is Linda
Carter, right, and I would dothe same thing.
And I think the questions Istarted to ask myself later,
(02:51):
when I look back on who was Irunning from and who was I
becoming?
And I think those were two keyaspects of how I became who I am
now.
I think that when you grow up Imean I love my parents my father
was an alcoholic and he had hisaddictions and that was a
(03:12):
family situation and it informedhow I walked into a room, how I
navigated family parties whereit was normalized that the men
drank and would drive us home orthat, you know, he'd pick us up
and he'd be drinking like fromschool and I would always watch
that, even though I was, Iwasn't told that that's not
(03:35):
something I had to watch for.
It was just my hypervigilanceevolved into an incredible
amount of empathy where I couldfeel a room, and so for a long
time it did hinder me, becausethe story I told myself then,
without having the language forit was that I was responsible
for everyone's emotions andpersonal safety, while looking
(03:56):
after my own, being my ownsuperhero, twirling around the
energy all around me.
Who was I running from?
Who was I becoming?
It was all of that, and Ididn't really have languaging
for it.
Not for a really long time, butbeing hypersensitive did affect
me, I think, in those earlyyears, just because I was saving
(04:19):
myself and trying to saveeveryone in the process.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I can relate to taking responsibility for my own
protection, my own safety, andthat creates us to be
self-sufficient which is like.
So how did thatself-sufficiency play out?
Did it hurt you or did it helpyou?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, I think both I did become super self-sufficient
in terms of how to self-soothe,so I would take to journaling
really little and at the time Iwould talk to God and I would
rant and rave and then complainand then also get really
comforted by the words I'd endup writing in response to myself
.
And so I had I gained tools interms of learning to process and
(05:06):
assess what I was feeling andwhy.
When I was angry, why I wasangry, when I was happy, why,
and sort of learning to assesshow I felt.
So that way I wasn't becomingmired by how everyone else was
feeling.
So early on, when I was younger,my parents, you know, my father
(05:26):
was drinking, so he was thevillain and my mother wasn't, so
she was the saint, and so itwas this very black and white
environment in my child's mindand I didn't notice that there
this wasn't normal until Istepped outside of my family
dynamic.
We're super insulated.
There were like 35 cousins, solike we were, that was a party.
You didn't need other outsiders, like that was everyone.
And so when I, when I did goout into the world and make
(05:50):
friends outside of that dynamicand see I would witness parents
everywhere Like.
That was the first thing I waswatching for to see the men
drinking to the extent that theywould and like why my like the
women in my family wereattracting, magnetizing this
experience.
And none of them drank.
Interestingly enough, my momdidn't, none of her sisters did,
(06:11):
neither did my grandparents,but all the men married into the
family did.
So it took me a while to see theoutside of the family dynamic.
It wasn't alcohol, wasn'tnecessarily part of the
experience for everyone.
That goes with ebbs and flows,because where I did see a
resurgence was when I went tolaw school and the dynamic was
(06:32):
everyone drank all the time.
That's what you did Then, whenI was at a firm, everyone drank
socially for clients.
Everything was centered.
It was centered around checkingout.
That's how I perceived it.
So it wasn't about being in theexperience, it's about checking
out of the experience.
So I went from being in a placewhere I needed to be so present
(06:54):
to be safe Fast forward wheremy very first career.
I was checking out, to feelsafe, and I gained a lot of
compassion from my dad.
Like it took that experience forme where I felt like you know
what, if I'm not checking myselfnow, I'm going to go down this
(07:15):
road.
And I really had.
And I'm thankful that I had thewherewithal to say within
myself and I said God, help meto stop, help me not to go
beyond like what I'm capable of.
So I mean, if I had a drinkthat would lead to three drinks,
that would lead to six, and I'dbe sick the next day, I
couldn't handle it and so I'dasked to stop.
(07:37):
So after, if I had a drink, thesecond drink I would get
physically ill then, then andthere, like I would feel
nauseated, then and there.
So I needed a physical impetusto stop me.
And that's what I got, becausethat's what I wanted, because I
needed that halt, so I wouldn'tgo down that road.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
yeah, yeah so is that a bar?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
yeah, um, what?
Yeah, total fear.
Oh, my gosh, did I lose you?
It was a total fear, um, youknow, because I had these
archetypes at home.
Who was I gonna be?
Was I gonna be the villain, wasI gonna be the saint?
The truth is, we're both.
We're always both, um, but Igot to experience the villain
(08:19):
story to understand that it's,it's just a saint.
That's been really hurt youknow what I mean.
Yes, Unable to be present,unable to be here, and I have so
much compassion for his and myfather.
You know he's in recovery, beenin recovery for decades, but it
took me a long time and it tookthat experience for me to have
(08:39):
compassion for his journey,because for a long time I didn't
Sure.
That didn't mean thehypervigilance went away.
It just shifted and changedinto a more empowering way of
walking into a room.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You know, I I previously had on someone who
was a lawyer and she said thesame thing about, um, the
culture of being in law schooland then also being in a firm,
and how the stress managementand the networking was so
saturated with alcohol she justdidn't even know what to do.
And so, yeah, it's just part ofthat and how do you?
(09:12):
But I love how you kind of hadit seems like you had such an
awareness of like I don't wantto do this and you asked for
help.
You asked for, like spiritualhelp, like don't let me go
beyond this yeah and because Ithink you had an awareness and a
fear of like that geneticpredisposition or what growing
up like that and and it wasanswered, you know you actually
(09:35):
got physically ill after youknow two drinks.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah so, yeah, I mean , and I think that's what that
was a driving force throughoutevery shift in transformation my
life was my relationship withthe divine.
I didn't need the labels, butI'm comfortable with them.
And so, even since little, whenI was journaling, I was opening
the door to conversation,feedback, support, even when it
(09:59):
didn't take a traditionalmethodology.
It was just my own way ofconnecting, if that makes sense.
And so when I verbally askedfor it and I decided that that's
what's going to happen, it justwasn't a surprise to me.
It was like, of course.
Of course this showed up theway I needed it to, you know,
and yeah, I did one in my family.
Um, on my father's side,alcoholism it was his.
(10:22):
His father died from cirrhosisof liver and he was a heavy
drinker.
Um, and so, as far as I knew,this was on Lisa, my dad's side
was pretty common.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, you know a lot of people that come on talk
about help from therapy, helpfrom 12 step as far as them
being in addiction themselves,or a wife or husband of someone
who is watching someone strugglewith addiction or alcoholism.
But what it sounds like to meis that you, from a very early
age, journaled specifically toGod.
(10:57):
You know and God answers.
So it's almost like you grew uplistening and so you were able
to receive and feel the presenceof um God early.
So he just so it's like youcircumvented, like through
therapy, and just went right tothe greatest power of them all.
(11:18):
Right, and so you can feel that.
So I'm not surprised to readthat you're a spiritual, a
certified spiritual coach,because that makes complete
sense.
And then you know it kind offreed up your time to like focus
on these goals that you had.
I mean, law school was probablya great undertaking.
Did you practice law after?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I did.
I practiced law for eight years.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Eight years.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
And then what made you leave law and go into more
creative industry like actingand writing?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
as a career path.
And so I was very logical,rational, and this didn't seem
logical or rational to me toplay for a living.
Interestingly enough, that'sall I do now is play.
It's amazing, but at the time Ijust like this didn't make
sense to me.
And so when I was in my firstyear practicing law, that's when
I started a book club andstarted exploring whatever this
was inside of me that was likeitching to come out.
(12:29):
There was something.
I didn't know what it was.
And then I think by my secondyear I'd, and that's when I
walked into an acting class.
I'd asked a friend about it.
I wanted to be better atlitigation.
It was challenging for me to bein court and not take it home,
and this was all around the timewhere it was, like you know,
(12:51):
for networking and everythinglike alcohol was very much a
person in the room with everyone, right, wow, yeah, yeah.
And so, like, how do I?
I don't need to become the bestfriends with alcohol to
navigate this.
I needed to find another friend, and acting was that friend.
Um, then I fell in love with itand I started pursuing it on
(13:13):
the side until I got comfortableenough with a plan to leave um,
set myself up just to feel safe, like in this, like branching
off um, and I hit the groundrunning literally within a year
after that.
That's when I became part ofthe pre-love made me do it,
which became an airtimesbestseller.
(13:35):
I was on multiple tv shows andmovies, um, and then all through
that time I was still lookingfor the thing, right.
Because here's a funny thingabout addiction it shows up in
so many ways.
It's not just alcohol.
Work is an addiction.
Anything that checks you out ofthis moment that you're so
(13:57):
enthralled.
It's an enthrallment, right,that helps us deal with we say,
deal with air quotes, withwhat's going on in our life,
because the easiest thing to dois to not deal.
And so when I was addicted towork in litigation, right, that
was something that I ended upleaning into and I had to check
out of that.
Then I became sort of havingthat same drive and acting like
(14:20):
go, go, go, go, go, and that hadto stop.
It was an old paradigm beingmirrored in my creative life.
And even though I had a vibrantspiritual life, even though I'm
very connected, like I'm highlyintuitive and super connected
and I love it, and yet I'm avery much a human being who has
a hissy fit with God half thetime and I was like this isn't
(14:43):
moving the way I want it to moveand how can I shift this?
And literally I had to stop andlook at myself and say what's
my why?
What is my why here?
Is my why to get the next biggig, the next co-star, guest
star role or the lead?
Or is my why just to really bein the essence of who I am and
(15:04):
enjoying my life?
So if I'm just quirky, toughass, but also super
compassionate person, how can Ishow up as that, no matter what
role I'm playing, right, right,then how can I help ignite that
in other people?
Because we're multifaceted,there's so much to all of us,
and so getting back to my whyhelped me break another pattern.
(15:25):
Addiction will lead you awayfrom your why Always.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah, Always.
You can even see that.
You know the saying.
That says what is the one thingthat you're ignoring doing?
That's probably the thing thatyou should be doing, that's
probably it, that's probably itRight.
And that always stops me in mytracks, Cause you know, we go so
quickly and try to keep up andand it always stops me in my
(15:53):
tracks and I think, well, whatis it?
You know.
And it's usually not the thingthat's in front of me.
You know, just those highspeeds that people move at these
days to recognize that soimportant and so good.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Really it was hustle culture right.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
For me it was hustle culture for a long time.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I had to really break out of that Hustle.
Culture is addictive.
You get immediate results withit, so you get that dopamine hit
right away, right and like, andso social media can be a part
of that.
You can think about oh, theylike me, okay, that's, you know.
This is all validation forsomething that we need.
Right, right.
And so breaking out of hustleculture was really important.
(16:33):
Like before we went andrecorded, you were talking about
the length of time it has takenyou to dive into your personal
story, to put it out into theworld.
Hustle culture would shame,that there would be shame
associated with that.
Being in authentic living at apace that honors you totally,
(16:55):
totally, totally, shines a lighton that process, the longevity
of it, the unfolding of it.
You bake a cake and you taketime with each ingredient.
Right, you can use an easy bakeoven.
I guess if you're a little girland do it in 10 minutes, it's a
very different experience.
And so yeah, I would say that ifyou're outside of hustle
culture, your art would behonored.
The art of the telling of yourlife story would be honored.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, good point.
You know even the literarycommunity that I'm a part of,
you know, the reason that I likethem is because they're not
they.
They're really into their work,like the craft of it, like the
of writing they're.
They're not about speed likethe of writing they're.
(17:44):
They're not about speed,they're not up on all the social
media platforms.
Um, some probably have troubleeven getting to that part of it,
but they're so in tune withwhat they're doing and they are
really proud of their work.
You know, and and nobody's in arush to like get it out there.
And, um, and it's just such theflip when you look around, it's
(18:04):
like, hey, I'm going to runthis through here and produce a
book, and and, um, get it out assoon as possible so I can sell
this or sell this course or dothis.
And like, they talk about itbeing like a business card as
opposed to your story or your,your life's work.
You know, so I can relate tothat a lot and that's why I
(18:24):
admire that community, becauseit's kind of rare.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I think it's your perspective, right?
I think it's like.
So what I mean is you're in a,but what I'm hearing you say is
you're in a space where yourworldview, your perspective,
allows you to foster and nurturehow you grow and how you shine,
whereas someone in the writingworld may have a different
experience.
(18:46):
Where they may be in a worldwhere it's like you need to
write to market, you need tostay in one lane, you need to
put these books out every month,you need to create a list so
that way you can monetize whatyou do as a writer, and it's a
hustle hustle mentality.
So there may be two differentperspectives, right?
One where it's like the art ofit, the other where it's like a
(19:06):
pure marketing perspective yeah,it's like following the dollar,
like all the way down the line,right what's, but what's your
why?
if you go back to why, then youget to choose which perspective
you experience.
That's right.
Individual.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
So how did you put down the hustle culture?
Like when you were acting andyou saw, wow, this is becoming
about that.
Like how did you put it downand how did it change you or
your perspective?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Literally, I was forced to put it down because I
was in it and didn't evenrecognize it.
I thought I'd already recognizeit.
I thought I'd already left it.
I thought I'd left hustleculture behind with the law and
all of a sudden I was in thecenter of that twirling,
twirling, twirling, not seeingit, you know.
And again was I running from it?
Or who was I becoming Like?
Who's the villain now?
Right, and so like it was thepandemic that stopped me.
(19:58):
Just before lockdown in NewYork I sprained my ankle so bad
on the way to I was shootingsomething in Queens and I'd
sprain my ankle in the stupidestway.
I still did it.
And I came back and I couldn'twalk the next day and I had an
audition and I was furious Again, my human will, like rebel,
(20:21):
even though my intuitive selfwas like be, still Trust this is
happening for a reason.
And I was off my feet for likea month and I couldn't go out to
auditions.
I was frustrated and then wewent on lockdown.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
And when I got to be still, I got to say, huh, what's
happening?
Why was I in such a like push,push, push, instead of letting
myself being pulled into my, myreality?
Because I've had experienceagain going back to, I meditated
a lot, since I was reallylittle, like all of my tools, I
kind of like was shoving themaside for something that was
(20:59):
familiar, which is the go, go,go, the success.
The dopamine hit rightAchieving, achieving, achieving.
And so the pandemic hit.
I was forced to slow down.
I ended up writing another book,which also hit number one, like
the first two weeks, and thatwas an independent publishing,
thank you.
But it was important because itwas merging this idea of like
(21:21):
your craft right and how youspeak to yourself and how you
honor yourself.
And it was the forced slowdownthat helped me get back to my
center.
And that's when I started.
That's when I became certifiedas a spiritual coach, certified
as a Reiki master.
I was doing these things that,like in the past, I wouldn't
(21:41):
have done, because I grew upwith these modalities and I
didn't know that people gotcertified in them Right in them,
to be honest, and I'd beenhelping people my whole life,
but it was just part of who Iwas.
It wasn't what I did, wasn'twhat I did and I was like, well,
(22:05):
maybe I can, as I'm learning, Ican turn around and hold my
hand out for the person that'scoming up behind me so they can
walk beside me.
We can walk together into thisnext level of transformation.
All that to say is I've had somany careers, I have had a lot
of successes.
I've also had a lot ofstruggles.
That doesn't make the highlightreal, but it does become the
texture of who I am and how Ican show up for someone who's
also in that experience, in thatjourney of self-doubt.
(22:28):
They don't know if this is thenext step.
They don't know if this is theright thing.
They're so used to hearingeveryone else's voice that they
forget the voice inside of them.
Because I've been there, asintuitive as I am, I've been
there and I've listened to thething outside of me before I
turned around and said, hey,what's happening inside of you?
And so that's how I ended upgoing on this journey.
(22:48):
That's a very long monologue,jessica.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, but I mean, it was filled with so much it's
invaluable.
It was filled with so much sothe journey that you're on now
as being a certified spiritualcoach would you say that is your
primary job right now.
Yeah, and then if you do anyacting or you do any writing,
it's an offshoot of that.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, I would say yes , and I had decided, yeah, that
I would shift this idea of I hadto do just the one thing.
So I thought I did that when Iwas acting right, I'm
multi-hyphenate, I was directing, I was just playing in all
arenas, and writing has alwaysbeen a part of it.
But I decided that I was goingto merge everything.
(23:34):
I didn't want tocompartmentalize my gifts.
I wanted them to work as awhole, as a unit.
I was just really tired oftrying to juggle a bunch of
plates and just not enjoying themeal.
You know what I mean.
And I was like who says it hasto be this separate thing, you
(23:55):
know?
And so I feel like I'm in thatspace where this is the feast.
I'm at it, this is it Right, Ilove that it's great, yes, so
true, so relatable.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
It's so hard to maintain and juggle all of it
right and then to really speakto what you do.
I think why it's so needed isbecause so many times people
don't know how to put it on oneplate, you know, and how to
combine all their talents totheir one true purpose.
(24:33):
You know I mean it's, it's theideal goal, but and?
But they may not even know that.
They may think I have to dothis first and then I'm gonna
have to do that, and then thattakes off, and then they can
never get to this.
I mean, so it's so needed, andespecially in this fast-paced
social media world whereeveryone's doing, you know,
which is a gift in itself, truly, because we do have access and
(24:56):
we can do what we want.
Like you're talking aboutplaying, like I get to play, you
know you're, you're living outyour create creativity, whereas
before, like he, for me, I, youknow, we grew up.
We think we have to follow thestraight line which I completely
was in defiance of for like adecade, which was my difficult
years, because I thought I'm notgoing to join in to the cookie
(25:20):
cutter home and the you know,the marriage scene.
Like I, I wanted to going tojoin in to the cookie cutter
home and the marriage scene.
I wanted to write my book, Iwanted to travel to Africa.
I had things in mind thatweren't in the line.
And then what you said earlier,when you were practicing law
and you thought why did youleave there?
You were saying you're livingout your creativity now, whereas
(25:41):
before you thought you had to.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I was like follow a straight line, and that wasn't
something that was feasible,wasn't rational.
I don't remember what I saideither, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But it resonated, it hit, and I can relate to that
because I think the world ofsocial media and online and in
the way of marketing what you do, allows you to do that and to
reach so many people, so there'ssomething really good about it.
But it also can move you in alot of different directions if
you're not grounded in what youwant to do and I'm just hearing
(26:14):
that's how you help people fromsomeone who has had a lot of
talents creatively andacademically, like you have your
education behind you.
You can help people who arestruggling.
Maybe they're writing, maybethey're wanting to grow out a
(26:38):
business, or maybe they'rewanting to go into a helping or
serving field, where they'redoing sharing their personal
life experience, um to build acommunity.
Like how are you helping andwho is your ideal client right
now?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Sounds like all of them, because my ideal client is
the, the woman who isnavigating a creative life and
building a business at the sametime.
She is navigating how herpersonal life looks in doing the
two things.
So the thing that people don'ttalk about is as an actor,
you're your own business.
If you're not treating that asyour own business, it would only
(27:15):
get you so far.
That means you're putting yourdestiny in someone else's hands
completely without owning ortaking sovereignty for yourself.
It's the same thing as a writeryou think you're going to write
the book and then you're justgoing to like the agent's going
to appear and then it's justgoing to.
It gets going to hit number oneand everyone's going to love it
.
Maybe or maybe you take, likeownership of your story and and
(27:40):
you use wisdom and discernmentto put it out there, and then
you surrender it, knowing thatpeople are going to do what they
want with your life, with yourword, with your baby.
People are going to do whatthey want with it.
So you surrender it at thatpoint, and so that's also a
business model, right?
Who are you in that business?
How do you show up for thatbusiness?
How do you let yourself.
I keep hearing the Spanish worddesarrollar like the unfolding
(28:03):
of your story without censoringoh my God, censoring, because
the old story of I have to walka straight line and do all the
things the right way quote,unquote right way and check all
the boxes so I can be perfect,so I can fit the mold, so that
way everyone will be happy andlove me and so I can be worthy
(28:23):
enough to achieve this goal.
That's what that straight lineis so I can be worthy enough to
show up.
I have to follow all theserules and stick to this straight
line.
For me that was my story in thepast.
Life is not a straight line.
It is a wavy, wiggly.
Jeremy Bear me is somethinglike this show called the Good
Place, so how it squiggles.
(28:44):
That's what life is.
It's a freaking mess where youget to play and so I help people
.
Make a mess.
Just make a mess and see whereyou fit in that mess, like I had
a client.
We watched the movie Ghosttogether.
Just one scene the clay.
The scene where Demi Moore andPatrick Swayze are she's she's
(29:09):
throwing clay and he's, hishands are in it with her.
It's a very sensual andbeautiful scene and it's so
messy, like literally, theirhands are full of clay.
Can you, as an adult, let yourhands get in the mix of your
life?
Can you do the creative workand allow it to be a business,
even if it's messy and notperfect?
Can you show up and tell thetruth?
(29:30):
Tell the truth.
Tell the truth, no matter whatit looks like, and feel held in
that truth.
Can you do that?
And if you can't, are yougetting support to that way?
You feel like your hand is heldas you use your voice and
express that truth?
Because I'll tell you one thingwhen you help and honor and love
yourself that much, it shootsout like confetti across the
world.
It really does.
(29:50):
It really really does.
But when we hide behind theline, behind achievement, behind
some old story, we're soldierslike ants marching across the
line.
And then who's served by thatother than the ants on those
line, on that line like who?
No one.
So I think it's just about, ifyou let yourself play, let
(30:12):
yourself make a mess, you'llfind that the old story remolds
itself in a way to serve you now, to keep you grounded.
To keep you grounded, to keepyou accountable, to help you
show up for yourself and yourbusiness and to help you really
shine in a place that brings youjoy.
Because, at the end of the day,if you're like walking around
(30:34):
going, what's my purpose?
What's my purpose?
I'm going to tell you somethingreally basic to live in love,
to be that joy, to amplify yourlight, to laugh, because these
things that we forgot to do whenwe were little Wonder Woman,
spinning across the living roomwith the TV, those things, they
(30:54):
lead you to the purpose, theylead you to how you show up and
lead others.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Such good insights.
Where can people find you?
Oh, across social media I'mshow up and lead others.
Such good insights.
Where can people find you?
Oh, I'm on across social media.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm at Lisa and Valentin and online it's
LGValentincom.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
I'm so glad to have you on the show today.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanovichcom.
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