July 30, 2025 • 52 mins
What if your most painful life experiences were actually invitations to remember who you truly are? Judith Cunningham's journey from deep suffering to unexplainable joy reveals how changing our perspective transforms everything.
When Judith sat down to write "Life is my PhD," something remarkable happened. Her hand moved effortlessly across the page as memories surfaced, pausing only when emotions needed deeper processing. This wasn't just writing—it was healing made visible. Through powerful stories from her own life, Judith demonstrates how our most challenging moments become our greatest teachers when viewed through compassion.
The heart of Judith's message is both simple and revolutionary: start by loving yourself first. Through daily practices like mirror affirmations and conscious emotional processing, we create a foundation from which everything can change. As she beautifully states in her parting wisdom: "Let's bring our hope back... This is the greatest opportunity that we have to go back to ourselves, because we matter."
Ready to transform your relationship with life's challenges? Explore Judith's insights in "Life is my PhD," available now on Amazon, and discover how changing your perspective can reveal the extraordinary love waiting within your ordinary experiences.
Are you ready to feel supported on your healing journey? The Soma Flow Library of Healing is now available. With a powerful meditations, hypnosis sessions and Superconscious Recodes to restructure your unconscious patterns, this is a must have tool to your journey back to you.
✨ Ready to take this work deeper?
If today’s episode spoke to your soul and you’re ready to rise into a life aligned with your truth, I’d love to invite you into Soma Rising—my signature transformational journey for women who are done playing small and ready to reclaim their power, purpose, and intuitive knowing.
In Soma Rising, we dive into shadow work, emotional healing, the Enneagram, and Superconscious transformation—all with the intention of helping you align your mind, body, heart, and soul for a life of deep flow and fulfillment.
🌿 You’ll be guided step-by-step through the inner shifts that lead to outer change—supported by powerful tools, a sacred community, and the wisdom of your own body and soul.
Come home to yourself. Join us in Soma Rising—your next level is waiting.
✨ Learn more and sign up online.
💫 About Tabitha
Tabitha MacDonald is an Intuitive Coach and Bodyworker committed to helping people overcome pain fast so they can experience the love, success, freedom, and fulfillment they truly desire.
Additional Resources:
- 💻 Book a Free Consultation: Schedule now
- 🌀 Soma Flow Library of Hea...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Selma Flow podcast.
My name is Tabitha McDonald, Iam your host and an intuitive
coach and a healer, and today Ihave the absolute honor of
sitting down with a woman whosewords feel like a soft
homecoming for the soul.
Judith Cunningham, author ofLife, is my PhD.
This isn't just a book, it is asacred invitation to remember
(00:25):
who you are.
Judith and I met in a BNI group, which is a networking group,
and she is also a heart mathpractitioner is that correct?
And a sound healer, and I'msure she has a lot of other
things that she does.
But that's going to be theshort intro.
So, judith, welcome.
I'm very excited to shareinformation about your new book.
(00:46):
Tell me a little bit about yourbook, like tell me about the
soul of it.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Well, you know, I never thought I was gonna write
my life pretty much and this isnot even my whole life, parts of
it, the most magical ones, thehealing ones and the powerful
ones that we'll go throughSomething that really means that
is saying that it was time toshare it with the world, because
that's how we help each other,sharing our stories, our past,
(01:17):
our pains, our struggles, oureverything that we go through,
because we're not the only onesgoing through the same, uh
situations.
More people are going throughthis sometimes, or a lot of
times, the exact same situationsand and allowing them to sit
there for a second because Ithink that's really powerful.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Because, um, it's not .
I'll just say from my ownexperience it's not easy to tell
our stories, especially thepainful ones.
It's like and I think thatyou're right we absolutely 100%
heal through storytelling I'm afirm believer in that especially
through other people sharingtheir stories.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Let me ask what gave you the courage to start sharing
your story, because that's abig, that's a big vulnerable
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes, I guess because my life changed so drastically
and I've been able to feelextreme joy, extreme love,
unexplainable joy, unexplainablelove, and that is not easy to
express with words, and I justwanted people to feel what I
have felt.
And I just wanted people tofeel what I have felt and I know
that I did it through my lifeexperiences, especially the most
(02:27):
painful ones that this came outof that and I tried the first
thing that I tried to do is justtalking about it, helping
people through it, but it wasn't.
It felt like it wasn't enough.
There was more to say and moreto explain.
So I thought that like, ok, thebook will explain, put
everything into a differentperspective and it will be all
(02:50):
in one place, Nice.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
How did you?
Well, I kind of want to ask alittle bit about logistics,
because I think a lot of peopleare being asked to write a book.
I know I'm I'm in the processof writing a book and like it's
kind of a big undertaking, howdid you get started and like,
how did you create it?
Like, how did you get?
Tell me a little bit about yourprocess.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It's interesting because it's been for years.
Actually.
I will buy a little notebookand start Okay, this is it.
I'm going to start writing mybook, my story, and I will write
one story and then it will putaside and nothing will happen.
And I have tons of littlenotebooks with one story in
there and it was not neverfinished.
But I don't know why, somethingwithin me that felt like I was
(03:30):
even more ready to do so.
And I remember going to Barnesand Nobles and it was funny, you
know, with my ex-boyfriend andI saw a notebook but it was so
beautiful I should have had ithere.
It was so beautiful, perfect,it had a tree, but with a heart
and the texture of it.
It's like that's it, that'swhat I'm going to write my book.
I don't know, I felt it andit's like, okay, I'm going to
(03:51):
get it.
I know I can feel it and Iremember grabbing it, I just
holding it, like so dearly likethis is it, this is it.
And yeah, I started writing onit and it never stopped my hand.
It was interesting how my handjust kept going, kept going,
except with some stories that Ineeded to stop, feel them, leave
that emotion again and thengive myself some space and then,
(04:11):
once I did it, my hand againwill start like go, go, go, go
go.
It was interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, I call that channeled writing, because
you're like there's a version ofyou who already wrote it and so
when you get out of your headyou can just channel write the
book because it's alreadywritten somewhere in the quantum
field, right?
And it connects in with thatversion of you and she's like
I've got it, I already wrote it.
Just let me take over your handfor a second.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Literally.
It was something that I cannotexplain either, because my hand
was just going going.
My memories, my vision even wasthere.
I was, my hand was just goinggoing.
I have my memories, my, myvision even was there, like I
was living the whole thing.
But it was going really fastagain, except when there was
something that was that neededto be looked at deeply, that my
hand will stop moving, like itwas, not that it was.
(04:56):
It will literally will not moveand all the images were in my
head and then my emotion willstart surfacing.
And then I really knew I had tosit with it and it was a very
healing, definitely healingprocess for me, because I didn't
know that I still had a lot ofemotions deep within me that I
had not looked at.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, isn't that?
The funny thing is, even aslike healers or people on the
healing journey, we think we'relike there, like you've arrived,
and then like the universe asksyou to do something bigger, and
you're like, oh man, there wasa whole nother layer to that
onion.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yes, I didn't know it was there I think we start
going deeper and deeper, like wehave removed so many, so many
layers that something greaterhas to happen.
She's like no, there's stillone more right there, just go
get it.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I go through that every morning and I'm like all
right, but there's justsomething else there.
So here we go, I'm on it, butyeah, it's, it's just part of
the part of the gig, I guess.
Um, so I want to hear moreabout like just kind of like the
overarching, like summary ofyour book.
Like if you had a couple ofminutes to explain it to someone
(06:05):
at Barnes and Noble, where theyshould buy it, what would you
tell them?
Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I cannot well summarize my book.
It's interesting because thereare so many different stories
parts of my life they are littleshort stories, big stories
stories.
Parts of my life they arelittle short stories, big
stories.
But if I had to summarize itone bit, the best way to do it
is like writing all thosestories.
What I, what I noticed, what Iwas able to see clearly that
(06:35):
with every single part of mylife, the reason why this
shifted is because I shift myperspective towards the
situation and and I saw it withcompassion, with love Again,
going back to myself, lovingmyself, seeing the bigger
picture of the whole includedwithin myself, being thankful.
And once I did all those thingstogether, everything changed.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I think that that would be the more general aspect
of the book, even though thereare tons of stories in there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, I mean that's.
It's kind of like we're likelike that's kind of like the
storytelling helps you.
You get there and understand itright on like that soul level.
Because I think storytellinglike goes to the soul, it goes
straight to the soul and thesoul is like oh, I remember.
So like I think that's like thepower of storytelling is you're
working directly with, like thesoul, um, and awakening them,
(07:29):
and then like also giving theconscious mind directions.
Hey, you can change yourperspective, like by changing
what you think about thissituation.
Like you have a choice here andum.
There's also ways of healinglike writing a book, like you
don't even have to publish it,you could just write it.
Like you know there's ways ofhealing like writing a book,
like you don't even have topublish it, you could just write
(07:49):
it.
Like you know there's ways ofhealing the wounded parts of us
that maybe the traditional kindof like health care system
doesn't teach you, because it'snot their job and they're not
like you know, that's not whatthey were here for.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So literally, yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah,
definitely.
Um, it's a healing process, notonly for me, and that's the
other thing that I hope for many, many people that are going
through heck of a lot,especially nowadays, when we are
in this place of we're readyfor change, and change is not
easy and scary, um, but when wecall it the prison of comfort,
(08:21):
the reason I comfort I.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
But once we Go ahead.
Oh no, I said change is scary.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but once you go through it, it's the most
amazing, powerful thing youcould ever have done.
Just go towards the unknown.
Go towards the unknown.
It's scary as heck, but it's sofreaking worth it.
It's so beautiful, it's sopowerful and that's where true
life is, past that fear yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, it's um like breathing into the fear and
doing things anyways andtrusting your higher self like I
do a lot of higher self workand um, it's like, it's almost
like this higher self comes inand it is the epitome of love.
But if you grew up in a fearstate, you're like I don't know
you and I don't trust youbecause you're not the
(09:13):
definition I have of love.
The definition of love isanchored in fear and so I don't
understand you.
So people reject their higherself because it is pure, just,
unconditional love, which mostpeople sadly do not experience.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah, and it's funny enough, because it's thanks to
all these experiences that Ibecame love.
I mean, I told you guys evenbeing I love you guys in ways
that I can I don't have words toexpress, I just can't feel it
and it's thanks to all theseexperiences.
(09:49):
But you're right, it's beeninteresting that the more love I
have, the more people that arenot ready to that light.
It just scares them away.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And it's been interesting and I had to love
them even more, so you know it'sfunny because I, I would agree,
and actually I'm just morediscerning who I give my time to
, because now I can see where mytime and then my energy is
drained when it's fear, loveinstead of pure love, and I can
like I can see it more clearlyalmost.
(10:24):
You know, I don't know if thatmakes sense, but yes it does.
I say we become a little bitmore discerning and our higher
self gets a little bit moreboundary oriented.
Where she's like or he, whoeveryou know is like, comes in and
is like nope, that person's notlove like.
I'm like, almost orically, likeshoots them out of your field,
like they can't survive aroundyou.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, it's impossible for us to be in the same energy
center and it's not like for meand I have told a lot of people
.
It's like I know that I'mtriggering you and I can see
that I still love you, but Iunderstand that you don't want
me around you, so we'll stepback and I will love you even
(11:07):
more so, but again, that doesn'tmean that we are going to be
around each other's energy.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, I think that, like I love what Brene Brown
teaches, that love can't survivewithout boundaries, that real
love, authentic love, needs ahealthy boundary and self worth
to grow and to thrive, and like,boundaries are a part of love.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yes, yes, and I never had boundaries.
I didn't even understand.
I heard that word so many timesbut I never understood what it
meant.
It will show, I guess, in heretoo some of that, but it's
lately that it's even a deeper.
The universe is taking me to apart of even deeper love, which
(11:49):
it doesn't make any sense, butit's more of the energetic.
I think that I'm being taken tosee life now and who would
really add energetically wise,where there is more connection
with that?
Um, it's not.
It's not easy to uh, not haveboundaries, because a lot of
(12:12):
people will want to.
It doesn't make any sense, andthey want you to be on a place
of where we have thoughts.
You have to do x or y in orderfor me to accept you, in order
for me to see you and respectyou, and blah, blah.
It's like no, it's not that way.
Um, it's really not steppingout of that linear kind of
(12:32):
mentality.
You have to be X or Y in orderto love or be loved, and it's
like, no, I'm sorry, I'm notgoing to do that for you.
I love you so much and I mean Ihad told that to my daughter.
It's like I love you so much,but I'm going to stay here where
I am and I know that it comesfrom love and pure understanding
and everything.
But I'm not going to change inthat way that you're asking me
to do, because it's impossible.
I'll be hurting you and I'm notgoing to do that.
(12:53):
I'm sorry, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, it's interesting because when I was
raising my daughter, I was verycodependent, and so a lot of our
conversations centered aroundhow other people were hurting us
.
I was like and now when we talk, I'm like she's like why can't
we just talk about normal thingslike we used to?
And I'm like oh my God, becauseI don't have a victim
consciousness anymore, I'm sosorry.
Like, okay, wait, hold on, letme think about someone who's
pissed me off.
So anytime someone makes me mad, I'll call her and be like oh
(13:23):
my God, this happened.
And I'll like really speed itup.
She can be like there's my mom.
I'm like, okay, I'll be likeall right, I've got someone to
complain about.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
No, I don't think.
Even in my book, uh release, Iwas telling people.
It's like I feel sadness still.
I understand it, I'm aware ofit and I feel it, but anger,
anger is not a part of me theway that it used to be.
It's like because I can seebeyond what it is and I see more
of the beauty and I might feelthe pain of it, but not the
(14:02):
anger.
But I decided to say somethingfunny and I might feel the pain
of it, but not the anger.
But I decided to say somethingfunny.
Except my daughter.
She does know how to give.
I don't mean sometimes that,but I did it as a funny way.
But it's just like we kids youknow it's, it's our own kids
it's interesting that ourrelationships are different and
the understanding, the feelingsare stronger and more beautiful,
(14:25):
more powerful.
Um, so I always say that, butit's not because she always
makes me angry, angry, angry.
But uh, uh, they know, theyknow how to trigger you a little
bit easier, you know oh, Icolor my shadow.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I'm always like thank you.
I didn't know that was.
I remember we got in a fightone day and I looked at her and
I'm like I yelled at her and Iwas like, ah, thought that was
over.
And then I went, I'm like I'llbe back, and I went and did like
two recodes and an emotionalrelease technique and some
shadow work and I camedownstairs I'm like I'm so sorry
, thank you for activating that.
I didn't even know it was inthere.
(15:00):
So I appreciate you so much andshe's just like you're so weird
.
Why can't you?
Well, I mean, I could have sathere and blamed you for it, or I
could run off and be like thankyou for activating my shadow.
I'm gonna go work through itwhile it's up.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, exactly exactly that's what I tell people.
It's like okay, what you said,what you did hurt me, I'll be
right back.
Yeah, I have to go and do mywork and I do it the meditation
on the bathroom, the mirror,everything the whole thing.
And it's like, okay, thank youfor being who you are, because
you allow me to understandsomething that I have within me
(15:35):
and needed to be looked at andhealed and everything.
So please don't change.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And you know, what I've recently come to terms with
is um, I never allowed myselfto be angry, and so I always
thought like anger wasn't partof spirituality.
And I think I was very wrongbecause it is, because, like we
should be angry when people hurteach other, like we should be
angry because that anger can beturned into passion for a
(16:00):
purpose right.
So, like that anger, injustice,as long as it's not in the hive
mentality, can be like apassion to make change in the
world.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
So definitely, and what that's one of the things
that I uh, I explain here in thebook too is like it's not like
sadness, angered and hatred andall those emotions are bad.
No, they're very powerful andbeautiful too.
They have their own power.
The difference is like how areyou gonna feel the anger?
How are you going to feel theanger?
How are you going to feel thesadness?
There is a difference.
There is one that will benefityou more than the other one.
(16:32):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah yeah.
I'm always teaching people onlike gut issues, issues with
your hormonal states.
Those are almost alwaysrepressed anger.
You got to find an outlet forthem, your hair falling out,
that kind of stuff.
It's repressed anger.
It's the suppression of yourdivine feminine.
And almost always when I'mworking with gut issues, I'm
(16:55):
like you've got so much anger inyour gut that needs to be out
of your gut.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, literally, and that's why I love they sound bad
and even they harm us, becauseit allows that emotion that
they're not aware of to justcome to the surface.
But again, even after it comesto the surface, I had to tell
them like okay, now it's out, wehave to deal with it
differently.
You cannot feel bad aboutfeeling this way.
(17:21):
You cannot hate that you'refeeling this way, about feeling
this way.
You cannot hate that you'refeeling this way.
You cannot run away becauseyou're feeling this way.
We're gonna sit with it, we'regonna allow it to be and see
with compassion and with love.
I know it's gonna hurt as heck,but if you sit with it and see
the beauty behind it, that'swhen we're taking advantage of
that emotion and it can help usagain write a book or do
(17:42):
whatever we're here to dototally.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I think that you can use that.
That's going to fuel your voice, right.
Like, however you want to do it.
Like I have a podcast and Iwrite online programs and I do,
like you know, I'm not intosocial media yet.
I'm trying, but it's not easyfor me.
Um, and then, um, you know,like this morning I was actually
at the gym and I heard it'stime to write your book.
And then I was like, oh, that'sfunny that we're doing this
(18:05):
interview today and I knew itwas time to start writing my
book.
And then I was like, okay, Ihear you, thank you for the
synchronicity, but like, yeah,so like okay, so I have some
questions.
Like, how do you publish yourbook?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
How did you get it published?
Amazon?
I've done it already threetimes.
This is my third time, so hemakes it easier.
The first time was the book formy ex-boyfriend.
I believe in his book so muchand uh, uh, it was a long,
longer process, for sure, butlater on I realized, like the
universe is preparing me forwhat I need to do next.
I got the second book.
I already knew how to do it atmy son, but this one, though,
(18:53):
with this book, I want to do somuch more.
I know where my energy, myheart is telling me, is like.
I want to do more ofadvertisement, talks, talks,
because, especially after havingthe book, the release, the book
release party, there were somany people that have so many
important, valuable questionsand being able to answer them,
and this book will answer a lotof them and help me to find that
(19:16):
I want to do more of that.
I want to reach more people,for sure, so I want to put
myself out there even more.
So that's what we're heretalking about what were some of
the questions that people had ifyou, what would be one of the
things that you could tell meright now that the book will
help me remember, or that I needto work on Nice?
(19:38):
Love the heck out of yourself,love the heck out of you.
That's when everything changes,and I know it's not easy and
it's a process too, but Iexplained here how I did it.
You know how it's possible, youknow, and the other book has an
(19:59):
exercise.
We talked even about the riceexercise.
I don't know if we'd last timetalk about it too, last podcast
that we had.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Let's just remind anyone who's listening what that
is.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yes, it's.
Dr Imoto did this experiment,or these studies on water for
many, many years.
But he did this experimentmostly to help us see the
importance how we talk to littlekids.
But nowadays it's not just howyou talk to little kids and what
happens when you talk to themin a specific way is how, what
it happens when we talk toourselves, and then there's a
(20:33):
powerful um, a documentary aboutit what they flip.
Do we know?
Do we know, yes, that oneexplains the whole thing, which
it was filmed here in oregon, bythe way.
Do you know that?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
oh, I didn't I own it .
I don't.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I didn't know that, though that's funny yes, it's
filmed here in oregon and it'sso powerful because, again, the
importance of our words and howwe treat ourselves and we're
very judgmental, especially withwomen.
Well, I discovered now that menare very more judgmental of
themselves too, so much so thatthey cannot look at themselves
in the mirror and say like, hey,I love you, I see you.
It's very triggering for a lotof them, but for most of us, you
(21:12):
know, know, because we're nottrying to do that, we're trying
to put others first, and then wedo it and then we forget
completely about ourselves andthen we start rejecting
ourselves because then we feeltaken advantage of, because
people are just reflecting howI'm not putting myself first and
loving and giving to myself.
So when we give, we feel thattaking advantage because they
(21:35):
are not appreciative of whatwe're doing, but they are not
appreciative and they cannot beappreciative because it's
impossible for them to reflectsomething that I'm not giving to
myself, If that makes any sense.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
What does RICE stand for for people who don't know
what that is?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
who don't know what that is.
Okay, so the rice exercise isliterally you get two jars and
then you put half cup of rice oneach one of them and then half
cup of rice, or, if you want todo a smaller one, quarter cup of
rice and quarter cup of water.
Same amount of rice, sameamount of water on both of them,
and then you put them in thesame place, like a foot distance
(22:14):
of each other, and the onlydifference between these two
bottles is that one is going tohave a positive word.
It could be anything I love you, sweet, sweet, whatever it is
that you feel connected with andthe other one is going to have
a word that is not so positivelike stupid idiot, I hate you,
you stink whatever it is thatyou want.
And the like stupid idiot, Ihate you, you stink whatever is
(22:35):
it that you want.
And the idea of this exercise,that every day you're supposed
to put that emotion of love toone and the emotion of anger or
sadness to the other one.
But what I discovered?
It wasn't.
It's not easy to do that,because we don't know how to
have or feel emotions forsomething that doesn't have life
.
You know, we do it with plantsbecause now we know that they
have understanding and feelingsand all that.
But for a rice and a bottle it'snot easy to bring the emotion.
(22:57):
So the way I did, it is likewhen I was happy, um, I will
have I will grab the bottle withthe positive words like, oh my
god, thank you, thank you, putit on my heart.
The emotion was already there,so I didn't have to worry about
the emotion, you know, and thenrelease it and put it down.
But when my daughter, um, willsay something to me or or
(23:18):
something that didn't go wellduring the day, I will feel the
pain or the anger.
I will grab the bottle with thenot so positive word you're
like stupid idiot, I hate youand you just tell it everything,
you want everything andanything, because you know that
the rice is not gonna respond.
So it's easier to let it allout.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh, I love this hack.
This is pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
It is pretty cool.
But the coolest thing too thatI noticed is that as soon as I
let it all out, I told himeverything, I put it down.
I didn't have that anger.
It felt so peaceful, it felt sogood.
It's like, huh, okay, I did it.
And then even going back to mydaughter if it was my daughter
it was like nothing had happened, she had never said anything.
(24:01):
It was just really freeing.
And then the second realizationis that after less than a month
, you can see what happens tothe rice and the water.
They change, wow.
See what happens to the riceand the water.
They change, wow.
For me personally, the one withthe not positive word, it was
the rice was white and the umwater kind of a little bit
(24:21):
cloudy, not so much, but thesmell, oh my god, the smell is
the worst smell ever.
It's the worst, the worst.
And, by the way, I have aactually a youtube video about
that, explaining how to put ittogether, how to do it and all
that stuff too.
Um, and the other one, um, whenthere is love and you really
feel the emotion, the excitement, the thankfulness and all that,
(24:44):
the rice and the water turnsyellow and the smell, even
though a lot of people don'tlike it smells like fermentation
.
Okay, let me see if I can showit.
I have it here because I stilldo it until this day, but this
is after so much work.
This is after three years.
(25:05):
Hold on, let me see, you cansee it, oh, wow.
But look at the one for positivelove the rice even
disintegrated wow, totallydifferent, like a catalyst, and
the smell.
I love the smell of this one.
I love it.
It's not like flourfermentation, but flour, and
it's like.
(25:25):
This means so much to mebecause it changed with me.
I changed completely.
Pure love.
That's changed.
You know, yeah, what a is?
They're not supposed to work,but I did it differently again,
allowing the emotion to be sowhen I was sad, when I was angry
.
I will just put it on my heartit's like it's okay to feel this
way because, again, it's okayto feel sad, it's okay to feel
(25:47):
angry, it's okay to feel theseemotions.
It's just what doesn't make itso easy, or okay is that how we
deal with them?
You know, because I havefriends and even my daughter
that did the exercise when shewas younger and she was going
through a lot and just havingthe bottles in her room, both,
both, both bottles the rice andthe water turned black.
(26:09):
Wow, let's not talk about this.
Mouth is the worst mal ever.
Uh, so when a lot of peoplehave a lot of anger and then
just the presence being aroundthe bottle, it will turn.
It will show where you are withyourself.
So again, it was a realizationthat it shows you again where
you are and how you're doingwith yourself, not for you to
feel bad or anything like that,but to be more conscious of be
(26:30):
aware yeah, make you aware.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Awareness is like is the purveyor of disease.
I mean, it's like when we'reunaware of it and we pretend
like everything's fine, but lifeis actually not fine, then
that's actually doing more harmthan good.
So yeah, exactly.
Awareness is the most powerfultool that we can start with.
I love having that like visualaid.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I know, right, that's .
I love this one because youallow me to see clearly.
And then again, instead ofgrabbing when I was sad or angry
, instead of just saying, stupid, idiot, I hate you, blah, blah,
blah, blah, which I want peopleto do it to start with.
But then I was just like again,it's okay to feel this way,
it's okay to feel angry, becauseit does hurt, you know, know,
it frustrates me.
It's okay to feel this way,it's okay to believe, and I made
it like a mantra, mantra,mantra, and I was feeling the
(27:15):
anger, but allowing it to be, itfermented too.
It smells like fermentation.
So I'm using it now towards myadvantage, not towards my
disadvantage.
Nice, that's awesome.
So it works too.
So, um, and I have, I lovehaving those again.
Those, those are three years ofemotions in there.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I love it.
I love all that I do.
Neurographic, where I pull itall up every morning because I
had to learn how to feelnegative feelings, because I
suppressed everything.
So, like I was, I'm a seven onthe Enneagram I don't know if
you follow the Enneagram, butit's one of the things they
teach and I'm a seven, whichmeans like there's no painful
emotions, and so I had to learnto like every morning I'm like
(27:57):
no, I have a date with myselfevery morning all the negative
emotions.
I do the release on them andthen I go about my day and that
way they are not activated byother people, because they will
be activated by other people ifyou don't do it yourself.
And that's just the truth of it.
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I don't like other people taking my power.
Exactly exactly that's how itis.
It's like doing it in ahealthier, more beneficial way.
Then you will feel like youcould regain your power and, no
matter what other people say ordo, they can never take it away
from you.
You're not even giving it awayyou.
You give it away if you want to.
But this you still have controlis when people take it from you
(28:40):
and you allow them to take itaway from you and the way they
do it is like they make you moreangry, arguing, fighting and
being upset for what they did ordidn't do or didn't say.
It just giving them the power,and that's why you feel the way
you feel.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah the like.
The thing I've learned is thatthe second, I feel confused.
When I'm speaking to somebody,I stopped talking to them and I
go inside and I'm like, why do Ifeel confused right now?
And then I'll be like, okay,are they trying to manipulate me
or are they triggering an oldpart or are they like what's
happening?
And then I'll just kind of putmy invisible, like my cloak up,
(29:16):
my energy cloak, and then I'mlike and I'll just listen to
what they're saying and justkind of observe before I react,
and before I used to be veryreactive where I'd be like
you're like getting fights, youknow, and I'm not like an angry
person, not like fighting, butlike you know, relationships
especially.
I would just react and then seethe pleasure on their face that
(29:36):
they just won and I was like,yeah, yeah yes, I tell people.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's like when someone is triggered by what I
say and they start just goingoff on me, like yesterday that
text message, um, I had to goback.
I go inside me right away,especially if I feel something.
It's like, oh, that I felt, Ifelt that so they could still be
blah, blah, blah.
I'm already inside.
It's like, oh, where's thatcoming from?
(30:06):
What is it that I need to heal?
And they're still blah, blah,blah.
But I'm still right here andI'm just doing the work, asking
questions, understanding, likereally going deep within me.
By the time, after a few minutesI start, my body starts
relaxing, the feeling is goingaway.
I'm feeling, you know, theunderstanding is greater.
That's when I see the beauty ofit, the appreciation for the
(30:29):
other person still being blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, right
here on the other side.
But once I'm like I did theprocess, the work, I come out of
it and that person eitherstorms out of the room because I
didn't engage with that by kindof thing, or two, it just
changes right in front of you,like, oh, these girls are good,
let's go on to this.
Okay, let's go to this, andit's all um, again empowering,
(30:54):
and that's how I helped them,you know, instead of um arguing
back yeah, I mean, I was justwatching this great youtube
video.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
It was on youtube instagram video and they did an
experiment um to like combatbullying.
And the more defensive theperson who was getting bullied
got, the more power the bullytook.
And as soon defensive theperson who was getting bullied
got, the more power the bullytook.
And as soon as the personswitched, so then they switched
and the guy went like yeah,you're right, and they didn't
(31:23):
argue it literally deflated thebully.
They had no power.
And I was like we think thatthat's powerless and I'm like,
actually, that's powerful.
It's just like maybe you'reright.
Yes, yes, they can't sayanything, like they can't do
anything.
It's just like you've justliterally taken all of their
power.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah, and it's not about controlling, it's not
about diminishing.
For me is, again, that's how Ihelp you, because I love you,
you know, and and and feedinginto that anger.
I know that it will not help me, it will not help you will not
help anyone, so I'm not going togo there.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather step back and stepaway from you and give you your
space because I know that that'swhat you need and then allow
(32:05):
you to be, you know, becausewhere you are is where you're
supposed to be.
It's not bad, or?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
anything like that.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
It's just, it might be hurting you, but then you
will be ready to come out ofthat whenever you're ready.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, so it's only last 90 seconds.
It's what we feed them thatmakes them big.
So if you have something inthere feeding that emotion
that's harming you, then thenthat's like, I think, your
responsibility to kind of likeget curious about the emotion
and go.
I don't want to store this inhere for later.
So let me see if I can flip it,because it's just a chemical
reaction, like it literally is,and once you can observe it, you
(32:44):
can come back into the emotionwith less intensity and decide
how you want to like transformit.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Yes, always, always, always, always.
So, again, again.
All that stuff is yet in thebook, how I deal with a lot of
the situations that will help metransform them or grow from a?
Um, help me be who I am rightnow, again, which I consider
myself love, you know, yeah,it's one of the most powerful
(33:12):
tools, is the greatest tool wehave is the is the one thing
that is actual, real.
You know love and we love.
You deserve anyone and everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, no, I think that like it's funny, because I
think the movement came in the60s but they did it all wrong
because they wanted to do itthrough psychedelics and I'm
like that's not how you get tolove.
You get to love through yourheart, not through a drug, but
and so it's just's funny, likeyou know, watching the
resurgence of that, like I likehave a course in miracles or I
(33:47):
follow, like Marianne Williamsonand people who are teaching
like it's time to come back tolove.
And Bruce Lipton, I met himonce and and he oh, you did.
Oh my god, yeah, I met him atthis conference in Florida, um,
and he, he walks up to me and hegoes my love, you need to speak
from your heart and not yourslides.
(34:08):
The world needs you to do it.
You came here to do and I waslike I think he's channeling
from God, right?
now and I'm like I know I'vebeen ignoring you and then, like
it just set my life on thistrajectory of starting a podcast
and doing things that I did notwant to do and my like.
I was like but when, like BruceLipton looks at you through the
(34:28):
mouth of God and he's like, hey, this is what you came here to
do, you need to get on it, I waslike, okay, message received.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Awesome.
Yeah, that's one of the guysthat I love listening to and
it's funny that a lot of peopleget triggered by him.
It's like especially duringCOVID, because she was talking a
lot and explaining and all that, a lot of people was like, oh,
that stupid guy is scary, thatguy shouldn't do this, that guy
should just like like you'remissing the message, like okay,
(34:57):
I mean, especially during COVID,like everything was through a
lens of fear and control, and so, hearing somebody speak about
love, you couldn't hear it,because the the glasses that
were put over most people's eyeswere fear and control.
Yeah, you literally couldn'thear those literally, literally,
and you could feel it andeverything.
So it was an easy time.
(35:19):
So I remember my family toowill be mad at me and everything
because I wasn't reactingtowards what was happening, it's
like, but it's not for us toreact, it's giving us an
opportunity, you know.
Okay, I'm just gonna go aheadand take that opportunity, and
that's where the first book cameout.
You know, the uh, powerthesaurus, positive vocabulary
through covid and all thatbecause, again, seeing it as an
(35:40):
opportunity, making a change,yeah, yeah, I think that's
awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yeah, no, I love Bruce.
I always call him Bruce.
I love Bruce, I know, I knowhis conferences and I'm just
really grateful that I got tomeet him and then, oh, that's so
cool and that he spoke the wayhe did to you.
Oh, I was just like, okay, I'mlistening.
And then it was just funnybecause I was supposed to meet
(36:06):
him the first conference that Iwent to and then somebody needed
, like they were having reallybad neck pain, so I missed my
like opportunity to meet himbecause I went and helped them
instead.
And I mean, I don't regret it,it was who I am.
And then when I had theopportunity to go see him at
this four-day conference withMichael Beckwith for the
(36:26):
Marriage of Spirituality andScience and it was so cool to
see both of them Bruce wassupposed to be representing
science, but he speaks bothlanguages so fluently and he
doesn't see the differencebetween them.
And like I find I'm the same way, I'm like I don't, they're the
same language, they're just.
(36:46):
I mean, they're the samemeaning, it's just different
language.
And so I kept having all thesecool synchronicities.
Like I met the conferenceorganizer because he was having
hip pain in the elevator and I'mlike I could fix that for you,
you.
And then like so.
Then he's like, oh, my god,you're amazing, come in, you're
gonna get an invitation to likethe private party and you can
come back and have dinner withlike Bruce and Michael and like,
(37:08):
um, and it was so cool and Iwas like, oh, that was like one
of those things where you knowwithout a shadow of doubt that
you are like in divine alignmentwith your higher calling, where
the universe is like.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Let me show you how magical your path is yeah, yeah,
and I think that that's the keytoo is like we all have that
guidance, all of us, but we'renot aware of it, uh, because
we're leading too much in ourheads our fear and all that
stuff, but we're just allowingthings to be and just being
present.
That's when you see all thesynchronicities and the way I
(37:40):
like to put it is like it's likea big puzzle and then where
each piece had to be in aspecific place to make the
picture beautiful.
But how in this world, we areall a piece of a puzzle that is
put in a specific place at aspecific time, or at the right
time for you to obtain.
(38:01):
What is it that you're ready toobtain?
And we're all doing thatconsciously or unconsciously,
and I've been able to explain ithere.
It's like I was able to stepback and see all those movements
of specific people and movingat a specific place at a
specific time, just to give mewhat I had just asked for.
It's like what is that how itworks?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
call it the divine chess game.
Yeah.
I like that yeah we don'talways know the end game, but we
have to trust that our higherself knows the end game and is
guiding us there.
Yes, our night gets taken out.
It's like it's still like, no,that needed to happen.
Just trust me.
And that's like, yeah, Iunderstand you.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Yeah, and I was telling people at the book
release too.
It's like it's not like I haveperfected.
I still feel the pain, I stillfeel the emotions, I'm aware of
it.
But when I'm feeling the pain,like a lot of times I'm crying.
I just know this for a goodreason.
I know it's for a good reason.
I just know this is for a goodreason, because this is the
reason I'm going through this.
(39:07):
I'm still falling, but tellingmyself that because I know now
is the only truth that is actual, true or real, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
You know, I had a great conversation with God.
I do a lot of channeled writingand with source and I'm very
like it's a daily practice ofmine and he said the problem is
you think the world is going toexist without pain and that's
not true.
And I was like damn it.
It was like the problem is youkeep waiting for the pain to not
(39:36):
be there to move forward.
And I was like dang, you'reright, why do you have to be so
all knowing?
But yeah, it was a veryeye-opening moment for me
because I was waiting for thepain to be gone and it was just
making it deeper.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah, yeah, doing that way, it just goes deeper
and deeper and the pain isgreater and greater, but more
powerful.
So you can see it more clearly,to give you the same
opportunity to get out of thatkind of thing, deal with it
differently.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, I have all the tools now, so like it's nice
being able to help other peoplewho are where I was a couple
years ago and be like oh no, Iwent through hell.
I'm here with a lifeboat, let'sgo.
I got a whole library for you,so we're good.
Yeah, so it's nice to be ableto be on that side, where it's
like the person who can comeback and help the others out of
(40:27):
like hell and be like I can makeit faster for you.
I'll make sure the lifeboatdoesn't plummet into the sea of
sadness.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
You don't have to.
I mean, you can go there if youwant to, because a lot of
people that's the only way canunderstand, you know, going
really deep into the hole andonce they're really there, is
nowhere else to go.
There's like, oh, okay, I getit.
You know, I, I can see now, soit's okay.
But but I think what I'm tryingto do with the book is like you
really don't have to unless youwant to.
Yeah, that's it.
(40:57):
It's like because I did it too.
It's like I didn't want to seeit.
I was the one refusing and theuniverse was giving me a little
tap, okay, but how about?
You know you can go this way?
Like now, I'm gonna go this way.
You know, come on, it waspushing me harder, not this way,
just a little harder.
No, I'm still being so stubborn, and it wasn't until the
universe literally had to pushme all the way.
(41:19):
It's like, okay, you're notgetting the message I'm just
gonna push you in it and seewhat you do.
Now it's like oh, I get it.
I should have done it the firsttime you did this.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm not a spiritual bitch.
Slap, and I think that you toldme that I actually like I have
a secret podcast that I juststarted and I like, I like, I
like get more.
I have more fun on that one.
It's like um, I'm like this iscalled the spiritual bitch slap.
I'm like, hey, you betterlisten, because you don't want,
like, you don't want a biggerhand coming down, so like you
(41:52):
don't want to.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
But if you want to, it's like it's okay, you're
still gonna come out to thesurface.
You know, and I know now that Ibecame a tuning fork and I'm
just the gentle push.
It's like, hey, how about now?
You can do this now and I'mgonna annoy the heck out of you
not intentionally, again, stillout of love and a lot of times
my intuition takes over.
It's like, hey, how about this?
(42:13):
How about this?
Okay, I'm just gonna be thegentle one.
I know that.
But if you don't want to hearit, it's okay.
I'm not gonna get mad, I'm notgonna take it personal.
I just know that the universeloves you so much, it's gonna
take care of you and it's gonnaat some point push you, like
literally push you down into thecliff.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, go oh my gosh, I feel like I love when I I
always know when I'm channelwriting because it'll always say
we love you so much.
Like that's always what theystart with and I'm like I know
that's not from me, so like, andit is like we know how hard it
is to do these things that we'reasking you to do and we also
want to help you.
(42:50):
Like let us help you, let us.
It's like Jerry Maguire, let mehelp you.
Or like I forget the scenewhere he's like help me, help
you.
Or you know, it's uh, now Ineed, now I need to go watch
that movie.
But, um, it's like that momentwhere, like jerry's like let me
help you and you know, and uh,sometimes, yeah, in our own
wakes, we have like a traumaaround receiving and that needs
(43:12):
to be cleared so you can receivedivine guidance.
Like it's just part of it.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, just I'm stepping out of the way and
again seeing seeing everythingwith compassion, love and
understanding, biggerunderstanding, I like to say it
is like learning how to lookeverything and everyone through
God's eyes.
Yeah, everything is justperfected.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And it's there for your greatest good.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
No matter what Mm-hmm , and it's there for your
greatest good.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Yeah, number one, especially this situation which
I'm just going to say to peoplewho are in the shit right now.
I know that sentence doesn'tfeel good, and so I'm just going
to say, like one day you'llunderstand what that means in a
way that's beautiful.
Right now, if someone's hurtingyou, it might not make sense to
think like that and like I justwant you to know that one day
(44:03):
you'll forgive them.
But like, don't think that.
That's like this person who'shurting you right now you're
supposed to be like, oh, I'mgonna like love you through it,
because you should never letsomeone hurt you.
And so no it's impossible to doit.
Yeah, no, I'm just saying thatfor people, because I know how
people like, because I work withpeople one-on-one all day long,
and it's like, oh, no, like, oh, so you're just supposed to let
people hurt you?
And it's like no, no, no.
Love includes boundaries.
(44:24):
It includes justice.
It's, um, you know, defendingyourself and not allowing people
to cause you any kind of harmso I just wanted to throw that
in there, because sometimes whenpeople hear the spiritual
community say stuff like that,they're like oh, I'm supposed to
love everyone, even whenthey're ripping me off.
No, because I did that and Iwas like I didn't understand
(44:44):
boundaries or how to hold themwith people when I was in that
space of complete innocence.
And then I let people hurt me alot and I'm like I want to make
sure other people know thatthat's not divine justice,
that's not what we're saying,yeah, there is some, there is
more, so much more to it, and Ido.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
It's a process to get there.
You cannot do it right away,because all you're feeling is
the pain, the anger, thefrustration, because, you're
right, you're supposed to feelthose emotions first.
You're not allowed to see whatis happening right now.
There is injustice, there isthis, and you're feeling it.
That's what makes it real, butthat's a.
It's a fact, though, that thesooner you understand that you
(45:26):
come, first you do the work, youlove yourself, you have
compassion for yourself, feelthe emotion allowing them to be
just like the rice that shows itin there.
Once it starts fermenting, thenyou feel different, and that's
why, once you do that, then youcan send love.
Yeah, you cannot do it from theget-go, because it's just not
there.
No, you know, I had a friend along time ago that she was not
(45:48):
um, having an easy time with hersister and we were talking
about this, and she understood,like, okay, well, all I have to
do is send her love.
It's like, well, if you can,yes, it will help you
tremendously.
And she's like, okay, well,yeah, you know, I want to try.
And then I met her again.
It's like I'm trying to sendlove to my sister.
I said, like well, you'resending love with that attitude.
That's not love.
Put it that way.
(46:08):
So let's just stop sending herlove and just concentrate on you
.
How can you love yourself, howcan you put yourself first?
How can you do these things foryou?
You, you, you, you, you, you,you.
Because when you do, you seethat the world around you
changes and we see the worldaround you changes.
Then you see that they areeverything and everyone has been
(46:31):
all there for you to give youan opportunity.
You can see it clearly.
Once you see it clearly, thenyou can feel the love for that,
the appreciation for that.
Only then you can send the loveand appreciation.
But at the beginning, no, no, Iwouldn't ask anyone to do that.
But it's just a process yeah,I'm always like.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
I just like people to know like there's a process to
get there.
So don't think, if you're inthe thick of it, that, like you,
should be all love and light,because there's a period for
needing to be pissed off andthere's a period for needing to
grieve and be sad, and there's a, there's a place for fear, and
it's a valid place, and thenthere's a place for, you know,
guilt and shame, to all processthrough in their own way.
(47:09):
Um, that's what keeps us humanand they're not diminishing your
experience or your value.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
So exactly, absolutely true.
No, it is a process, but, butagain, that it's more of a
reminder.
It's like just remember thatyou're not alone and it's part
of the process, it's part ofyour growth, it's part of your
evolution, especially themoments that don't seem like it.
But if you start looking for orputting your attention, your
energy towards what you want outof the situation, not the
(47:36):
obstacles, then you will getthere faster.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
But you're not doing anything wrong, you know, yeah,
oh, this is such a greatconversation and um, so tell our
, the listeners, where can theyfind your book um, amazon.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
For now, I'm gonna put it on my website too, but it
will take you directly toamazon.
Just live with my phd, my name,judith cunningham, and then it
will be there excellent, okay,well, thank you so much, judith.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Um, I'm so excited for people to get to read this
and I'm also inspired, um,because it's inspiring me to
finally dive in and write my ownbook that I I have sitting on
my computer that's not yet puttogether.
Um, so, um, yeah, what is yourlast parting kind of like wish
for anyone who's listening tothis today?
Speaker 2 (48:30):
that's, let's bring our hope back.
I know that situations rightnow are not easy, but we're in
the right track, especially ifwe start loving the heck out of
ourselves.
This is the greatestopportunity that we have to go
back to ourselves, because wematter.
No matter where you are withyourself, no matter what you
(48:51):
have gone through, no matter whoyou really are or who you think
you are, you start loving theheck out of you with something
as simple as looking at yourselfin the mirror and say I love
you.
But there's going to beuncomfortable as heck at the
beginning, but repetition,repetition, repetition makes it
believable, and then that's.
That's the star.
So for me, more than anythingelse in this process called life
(49:15):
, let's love the heck out ofourselves.
It's time, we're ready for it.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Excellent, it's a beautiful we're ready for it.
Excellent, it's a beautifulmessage and thank you so much,
judith.
I'll put your link to yourwebsite and the book in the show
notes and I just want to thankyou again.
So, if you forgot, thisbeautiful conversation was with
Judith Cunningham.
The author of Life Is my PhD.
She's a HeartMath Institutepractitioner Is that how you go
(49:41):
by and it sounds like coach yeah, heart math coach and sound
healing practitioner and manymore things.
And so please go check out herbook, support her book and her
self-published book, which isawesome to support, like authors
who are doing it on their own.
I'm assuming it was selfpublished, so, like, I know I
(50:03):
just do that, okay, and so, like, it's really powerful to go
support people who are usingtheir voice without backing
right, like because that'snobody's telling them how to
speak or what to write or whatto say.
They're actually comingstraight from source or from
their heart, and that issomething that you know.
Sometimes, when it's beingpublished by somebody who's only
(50:25):
looking to make money from it,you might miss some of the
authenticity in it.
So I really recommend that yougo buy directly from these
authors who are taking the timeto self-publish, knowing that
their work is getting out therebecause of source, because of
their heart, not because apublisher or an editor told them
what to write so that it wouldsell more copies.
(50:45):
So that's kind of like mylittle plug for small
independent authors.
So I hope you all have a greatday and wherever you are in the
world and, yeah, let me knowwhat you thought of the show
Drop a comment below, take careand thanks again, judith.
Thank you, tabatha, really.
Welcome to the Selma Flow podcast.
My name is Tabitha McDonald, Iam your host and an intuitive
coach and a healer, and today Ihave the absolute honor of
sitting down with a woman whosewords feel like a soft
homecoming for the soul.
Judith Cunningham, author ofLife, is my PhD.
This isn't just a book, it is asacred invitation to remember
(00:25):
who you are.
Judith and I met in a BNI group, which is a networking group,
and she is also a heart mathpractitioner is that correct?
And a sound healer, and I'msure she has a lot of other
things that she does.
But that's going to be theshort intro.
So, judith, welcome.
I'm very excited to shareinformation about your new book.
(00:46):
Tell me a little bit about yourbook, like tell me about the
soul of it.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Well, you know, I never thought I was gonna write
my life pretty much and this isnot even my whole life, parts of
it, the most magical ones, thehealing ones and the powerful
ones that we'll go throughSomething that really means that
is saying that it was time toshare it with the world, because
that's how we help each other,sharing our stories, our past,
(01:17):
our pains, our struggles, oureverything that we go through,
because we're not the only onesgoing through the same, uh
situations.
More people are going throughthis sometimes, or a lot of
times, the exact same situationsand and allowing them to sit
there for a second because Ithink that's really powerful.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Because, um, it's not .
I'll just say from my ownexperience it's not easy to tell
our stories, especially thepainful ones.
It's like and I think thatyou're right we absolutely 100%
heal through storytelling I'm afirm believer in that especially
through other people sharingtheir stories.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Let me ask what gave you the courage to start sharing
your story, because that's abig, that's a big vulnerable
thing to do.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes, I guess because my life changed so drastically
and I've been able to feelextreme joy, extreme love,
unexplainable joy, unexplainablelove, and that is not easy to
express with words, and I justwanted people to feel what I
have felt.
And I just wanted people tofeel what I have felt and I know
that I did it through my lifeexperiences, especially the most
(02:27):
painful ones that this came outof that and I tried the first
thing that I tried to do is justtalking about it, helping
people through it, but it wasn't.
It felt like it wasn't enough.
There was more to say and moreto explain.
So I thought that like, ok, thebook will explain, put
everything into a differentperspective and it will be all
(02:50):
in one place, Nice.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
How did you?
Well, I kind of want to ask alittle bit about logistics,
because I think a lot of peopleare being asked to write a book.
I know I'm I'm in the processof writing a book and like it's
kind of a big undertaking, howdid you get started and like,
how did you create it?
Like, how did you get?
Tell me a little bit about yourprocess.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
It's interesting because it's been for years.
Actually.
I will buy a little notebookand start Okay, this is it.
I'm going to start writing mybook, my story, and I will write
one story and then it will putaside and nothing will happen.
And I have tons of littlenotebooks with one story in
there and it was not neverfinished.
But I don't know why, somethingwithin me that felt like I was
(03:30):
even more ready to do so.
And I remember going to Barnesand Nobles and it was funny, you
know, with my ex-boyfriend andI saw a notebook but it was so
beautiful I should have had ithere.
It was so beautiful, perfect,it had a tree, but with a heart
and the texture of it.
It's like that's it, that'swhat I'm going to write my book.
I don't know, I felt it andit's like, okay, I'm going to
(03:51):
get it.
I know I can feel it and Iremember grabbing it, I just
holding it, like so dearly likethis is it, this is it.
And yeah, I started writing onit and it never stopped my hand.
It was interesting how my handjust kept going, kept going,
except with some stories that Ineeded to stop, feel them, leave
that emotion again and thengive myself some space and then,
(04:11):
once I did it, my hand againwill start like go, go, go, go
go.
It was interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, I call that channeled writing, because
you're like there's a version ofyou who already wrote it and so
when you get out of your headyou can just channel write the
book because it's alreadywritten somewhere in the quantum
field, right?
And it connects in with thatversion of you and she's like
I've got it, I already wrote it.
Just let me take over your handfor a second.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Literally.
It was something that I cannotexplain either, because my hand
was just going going.
My memories, my vision even wasthere.
I was, my hand was just goinggoing.
I have my memories, my, myvision even was there, like I
was living the whole thing.
But it was going really fastagain, except when there was
something that was that neededto be looked at deeply, that my
hand will stop moving, like itwas, not that it was.
(04:56):
It will literally will not moveand all the images were in my
head and then my emotion willstart surfacing.
And then I really knew I had tosit with it and it was a very
healing, definitely healingprocess for me, because I didn't
know that I still had a lot ofemotions deep within me that I
had not looked at.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, isn't that?
The funny thing is, even aslike healers or people on the
healing journey, we think we'relike there, like you've arrived,
and then like the universe asksyou to do something bigger, and
you're like, oh man, there wasa whole nother layer to that
onion.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yes, I didn't know it was there I think we start
going deeper and deeper, like wehave removed so many, so many
layers that something greaterhas to happen.
She's like no, there's stillone more right there, just go
get it.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I go through that every morning and I'm like all
right, but there's justsomething else there.
So here we go, I'm on it, butyeah, it's, it's just part of
the part of the gig, I guess.
Um, so I want to hear moreabout like just kind of like the
overarching, like summary ofyour book.
Like if you had a couple ofminutes to explain it to someone
(06:05):
at Barnes and Noble, where theyshould buy it, what would you
tell them?
Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I cannot well summarize my book.
It's interesting because thereare so many different stories
parts of my life they are littleshort stories, big stories
stories.
Parts of my life they arelittle short stories, big
stories.
But if I had to summarize itone bit, the best way to do it
is like writing all thosestories.
What I, what I noticed, what Iwas able to see clearly that
(06:35):
with every single part of mylife, the reason why this
shifted is because I shift myperspective towards the
situation and and I saw it withcompassion, with love Again,
going back to myself, lovingmyself, seeing the bigger
picture of the whole includedwithin myself, being thankful.
And once I did all those thingstogether, everything changed.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I think that that would be the more general aspect
of the book, even though thereare tons of stories in there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, I mean that's.
It's kind of like we're likelike that's kind of like the
storytelling helps you.
You get there and understand itright on like that soul level.
Because I think storytellinglike goes to the soul, it goes
straight to the soul and thesoul is like oh, I remember.
So like I think that's like thepower of storytelling is you're
working directly with, like thesoul, um, and awakening them,
(07:29):
and then like also giving theconscious mind directions.
Hey, you can change yourperspective, like by changing
what you think about thissituation.
Like you have a choice here andum.
There's also ways of healinglike writing a book, like you
don't even have to publish it,you could just write it.
Like you know there's ways ofhealing like writing a book,
like you don't even have topublish it, you could just write
(07:49):
it.
Like you know there's ways ofhealing the wounded parts of us
that maybe the traditional kindof like health care system
doesn't teach you, because it'snot their job and they're not
like you know, that's not whatthey were here for.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So literally, yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah,
definitely.
Um, it's a healing process, notonly for me, and that's the
other thing that I hope for many, many people that are going
through heck of a lot,especially nowadays, when we are
in this place of we're readyfor change, and change is not
easy and scary, um, but when wecall it the prison of comfort,
(08:21):
the reason I comfort I.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
But once we Go ahead.
Oh no, I said change is scary.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but once you go through it, it's the most
amazing, powerful thing youcould ever have done.
Just go towards the unknown.
Go towards the unknown.
It's scary as heck, but it's sofreaking worth it.
It's so beautiful, it's sopowerful and that's where true
life is, past that fear yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, it's um like breathing into the fear and
doing things anyways andtrusting your higher self like I
do a lot of higher self workand um, it's like, it's almost
like this higher self comes inand it is the epitome of love.
But if you grew up in a fearstate, you're like I don't know
you and I don't trust youbecause you're not the
(09:13):
definition I have of love.
The definition of love isanchored in fear and so I don't
understand you.
So people reject their higherself because it is pure, just,
unconditional love, which mostpeople sadly do not experience.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah, and it's funny enough, because it's thanks to
all these experiences that Ibecame love.
I mean, I told you guys evenbeing I love you guys in ways
that I can I don't have words toexpress, I just can't feel it
and it's thanks to all theseexperiences.
(09:49):
But you're right, it's beeninteresting that the more love I
have, the more people that arenot ready to that light.
It just scares them away.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
And it's been interesting and I had to love
them even more, so you know it'sfunny because I, I would agree,
and actually I'm just morediscerning who I give my time to
, because now I can see where mytime and then my energy is
drained when it's fear, loveinstead of pure love, and I can
like I can see it more clearlyalmost.
(10:24):
You know, I don't know if thatmakes sense, but yes it does.
I say we become a little bitmore discerning and our higher
self gets a little bit moreboundary oriented.
Where she's like or he, whoeveryou know is like, comes in and
is like nope, that person's notlove like.
I'm like, almost orically, likeshoots them out of your field,
like they can't survive aroundyou.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, it's impossible for us to be in the same energy
center and it's not like for meand I have told a lot of people
.
It's like I know that I'mtriggering you and I can see
that I still love you, but Iunderstand that you don't want
me around you, so we'll stepback and I will love you even
(11:07):
more so, but again, that doesn'tmean that we are going to be
around each other's energy.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, I think that, like I love what Brene Brown
teaches, that love can't survivewithout boundaries, that real
love, authentic love, needs ahealthy boundary and self worth
to grow and to thrive, and like,boundaries are a part of love.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yes, yes, and I never had boundaries.
I didn't even understand.
I heard that word so many timesbut I never understood what it
meant.
It will show, I guess, in heretoo some of that, but it's
lately that it's even a deeper.
The universe is taking me to apart of even deeper love, which
(11:49):
it doesn't make any sense, butit's more of the energetic.
I think that I'm being taken tosee life now and who would
really add energetically wise,where there is more connection
with that?
Um, it's not.
It's not easy to uh, not haveboundaries, because a lot of
(12:12):
people will want to.
It doesn't make any sense, andthey want you to be on a place
of where we have thoughts.
You have to do x or y in orderfor me to accept you, in order
for me to see you and respectyou, and blah, blah.
It's like no, it's not that way.
Um, it's really not steppingout of that linear kind of
(12:32):
mentality.
You have to be X or Y in orderto love or be loved, and it's
like, no, I'm sorry, I'm notgoing to do that for you.
I love you so much and I mean Ihad told that to my daughter.
It's like I love you so much,but I'm going to stay here where
I am and I know that it comesfrom love and pure understanding
and everything.
But I'm not going to change inthat way that you're asking me
to do, because it's impossible.
I'll be hurting you and I'm notgoing to do that.
(12:53):
I'm sorry, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, it's interesting because when I was
raising my daughter, I was verycodependent, and so a lot of our
conversations centered aroundhow other people were hurting us
.
I was like and now when we talk, I'm like she's like why can't
we just talk about normal thingslike we used to?
And I'm like oh my God, becauseI don't have a victim
consciousness anymore, I'm sosorry.
Like, okay, wait, hold on, letme think about someone who's
pissed me off.
So anytime someone makes me mad, I'll call her and be like oh
(13:23):
my God, this happened.
And I'll like really speed itup.
She can be like there's my mom.
I'm like, okay, I'll be likeall right, I've got someone to
complain about.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
No, I don't think.
Even in my book, uh release, Iwas telling people.
It's like I feel sadness still.
I understand it, I'm aware ofit and I feel it, but anger,
anger is not a part of me theway that it used to be.
It's like because I can seebeyond what it is and I see more
of the beauty and I might feelthe pain of it, but not the
(14:02):
anger.
But I decided to say somethingfunny and I might feel the pain
of it, but not the anger.
But I decided to say somethingfunny.
Except my daughter.
She does know how to give.
I don't mean sometimes that,but I did it as a funny way.
But it's just like we kids youknow it's, it's our own kids
it's interesting that ourrelationships are different and
the understanding, the feelingsare stronger and more beautiful,
(14:25):
more powerful.
Um, so I always say that, butit's not because she always
makes me angry, angry, angry.
But uh, uh, they know, theyknow how to trigger you a little
bit easier, you know oh, Icolor my shadow.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I'm always like thank you.
I didn't know that was.
I remember we got in a fightone day and I looked at her and
I'm like I yelled at her and Iwas like, ah, thought that was
over.
And then I went, I'm like I'llbe back, and I went and did like
two recodes and an emotionalrelease technique and some
shadow work and I camedownstairs I'm like I'm so sorry
, thank you for activating that.
I didn't even know it was inthere.
(15:00):
So I appreciate you so much andshe's just like you're so weird
.
Why can't you?
Well, I mean, I could have sathere and blamed you for it, or I
could run off and be like thankyou for activating my shadow.
I'm gonna go work through itwhile it's up.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, exactly exactly that's what I tell people.
It's like okay, what you said,what you did hurt me, I'll be
right back.
Yeah, I have to go and do mywork and I do it the meditation
on the bathroom, the mirror,everything the whole thing.
And it's like, okay, thank youfor being who you are, because
you allow me to understandsomething that I have within me
(15:35):
and needed to be looked at andhealed and everything.
So please don't change.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And you know, what I've recently come to terms with
is um, I never allowed myselfto be angry, and so I always
thought like anger wasn't partof spirituality.
And I think I was very wrongbecause it is, because, like we
should be angry when people hurteach other, like we should be
angry because that anger can beturned into passion for a
(16:00):
purpose right.
So, like that anger, injustice,as long as it's not in the hive
mentality, can be like apassion to make change in the
world.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
So definitely, and what that's one of the things
that I uh, I explain here in thebook too is like it's not like
sadness, angered and hatred andall those emotions are bad.
No, they're very powerful andbeautiful too.
They have their own power.
The difference is like how areyou gonna feel the anger?
How are you going to feel theanger?
How are you going to feel thesadness?
There is a difference.
There is one that will benefityou more than the other one.
(16:32):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah yeah.
I'm always teaching people onlike gut issues, issues with
your hormonal states.
Those are almost alwaysrepressed anger.
You got to find an outlet forthem, your hair falling out,
that kind of stuff.
It's repressed anger.
It's the suppression of yourdivine feminine.
And almost always when I'mworking with gut issues, I'm
(16:55):
like you've got so much anger inyour gut that needs to be out
of your gut.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah, literally, and that's why I love they sound bad
and even they harm us, becauseit allows that emotion that
they're not aware of to justcome to the surface.
But again, even after it comesto the surface, I had to tell
them like okay, now it's out, wehave to deal with it
differently.
You cannot feel bad aboutfeeling this way.
(17:21):
You cannot hate that you'refeeling this way, about feeling
this way.
You cannot hate that you'refeeling this way.
You cannot run away becauseyou're feeling this way.
We're gonna sit with it, we'regonna allow it to be and see
with compassion and with love.
I know it's gonna hurt as heck,but if you sit with it and see
the beauty behind it, that'swhen we're taking advantage of
that emotion and it can help usagain write a book or do
(17:42):
whatever we're here to dototally.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I think that you can use that.
That's going to fuel your voice, right.
Like, however you want to do it.
Like I have a podcast and Iwrite online programs and I do,
like you know, I'm not intosocial media yet.
I'm trying, but it's not easyfor me.
Um, and then, um, you know,like this morning I was actually
at the gym and I heard it'stime to write your book.
And then I was like, oh, that'sfunny that we're doing this
(18:05):
interview today and I knew itwas time to start writing my
book.
And then I was like, okay, Ihear you, thank you for the
synchronicity, but like, yeah,so like okay, so I have some
questions.
Like, how do you publish yourbook?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
How did you get it published?
Amazon?
I've done it already threetimes.
This is my third time, so hemakes it easier.
The first time was the book formy ex-boyfriend.
I believe in his book so muchand uh, uh, it was a long,
longer process, for sure, butlater on I realized, like the
universe is preparing me forwhat I need to do next.
I got the second book.
I already knew how to do it atmy son, but this one, though,
(18:53):
with this book, I want to do somuch more.
I know where my energy, myheart is telling me, is like.
I want to do more ofadvertisement, talks, talks,
because, especially after havingthe book, the release, the book
release party, there were somany people that have so many
important, valuable questionsand being able to answer them,
and this book will answer a lotof them and help me to find that
(19:16):
I want to do more of that.
I want to reach more people,for sure, so I want to put
myself out there even more.
So that's what we're heretalking about what were some of
the questions that people had ifyou, what would be one of the
things that you could tell meright now that the book will
help me remember, or that I needto work on Nice?
(19:38):
Love the heck out of yourself,love the heck out of you.
That's when everything changes,and I know it's not easy and
it's a process too, but Iexplained here how I did it.
You know how it's possible, youknow, and the other book has an
(19:59):
exercise.
We talked even about the riceexercise.
I don't know if we'd last timetalk about it too, last podcast
that we had.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Let's just remind anyone who's listening what that
is.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yes, it's.
Dr Imoto did this experiment,or these studies on water for
many, many years.
But he did this experimentmostly to help us see the
importance how we talk to littlekids.
But nowadays it's not just howyou talk to little kids and what
happens when you talk to themin a specific way is how, what
it happens when we talk toourselves, and then there's a
(20:33):
powerful um, a documentary aboutit what they flip.
Do we know?
Do we know, yes, that oneexplains the whole thing, which
it was filmed here in oregon, bythe way.
Do you know that?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
oh, I didn't I own it .
I don't.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I didn't know that, though that's funny yes, it's
filmed here in oregon and it'sso powerful because, again, the
importance of our words and howwe treat ourselves and we're
very judgmental, especially withwomen.
Well, I discovered now that menare very more judgmental of
themselves too, so much so thatthey cannot look at themselves
in the mirror and say like, hey,I love you, I see you.
It's very triggering for a lotof them, but for most of us, you
(21:12):
know, know, because we're nottrying to do that, we're trying
to put others first, and then wedo it and then we forget
completely about ourselves andthen we start rejecting
ourselves because then we feeltaken advantage of, because
people are just reflecting howI'm not putting myself first and
loving and giving to myself.
So when we give, we feel thattaking advantage because they
(21:35):
are not appreciative of whatwe're doing, but they are not
appreciative and they cannot beappreciative because it's
impossible for them to reflectsomething that I'm not giving to
myself, If that makes any sense.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
What does RICE stand for for people who don't know
what that is?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
who don't know what that is.
Okay, so the rice exercise isliterally you get two jars and
then you put half cup of rice oneach one of them and then half
cup of rice, or, if you want todo a smaller one, quarter cup of
rice and quarter cup of water.
Same amount of rice, sameamount of water on both of them,
and then you put them in thesame place, like a foot distance
(22:14):
of each other, and the onlydifference between these two
bottles is that one is going tohave a positive word.
It could be anything I love you, sweet, sweet, whatever it is
that you feel connected with andthe other one is going to have
a word that is not so positivelike stupid idiot, I hate you,
you stink whatever it is thatyou want.
And the like stupid idiot, Ihate you, you stink whatever is
(22:35):
it that you want.
And the idea of this exercise,that every day you're supposed
to put that emotion of love toone and the emotion of anger or
sadness to the other one.
But what I discovered?
It wasn't.
It's not easy to do that,because we don't know how to
have or feel emotions forsomething that doesn't have life
.
You know, we do it with plantsbecause now we know that they
have understanding and feelingsand all that.
But for a rice and a bottle it'snot easy to bring the emotion.
(22:57):
So the way I did, it is likewhen I was happy, um, I will
have I will grab the bottle withthe positive words like, oh my
god, thank you, thank you, putit on my heart.
The emotion was already there,so I didn't have to worry about
the emotion, you know, and thenrelease it and put it down.
But when my daughter, um, willsay something to me or or
(23:18):
something that didn't go wellduring the day, I will feel the
pain or the anger.
I will grab the bottle with thenot so positive word you're
like stupid idiot, I hate youand you just tell it everything,
you want everything andanything, because you know that
the rice is not gonna respond.
So it's easier to let it allout.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh, I love this hack.
This is pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
It is pretty cool.
But the coolest thing too thatI noticed is that as soon as I
let it all out, I told himeverything, I put it down.
I didn't have that anger.
It felt so peaceful, it felt sogood.
It's like, huh, okay, I did it.
And then even going back to mydaughter if it was my daughter
it was like nothing had happened, she had never said anything.
(24:01):
It was just really freeing.
And then the second realizationis that after less than a month
, you can see what happens tothe rice and the water.
They change, wow.
See what happens to the riceand the water.
They change, wow.
For me personally, the one withthe not positive word, it was
the rice was white and the umwater kind of a little bit
(24:21):
cloudy, not so much, but thesmell, oh my god, the smell is
the worst smell ever.
It's the worst, the worst.
And, by the way, I have aactually a youtube video about
that, explaining how to put ittogether, how to do it and all
that stuff too.
Um, and the other one, um, whenthere is love and you really
feel the emotion, the excitement, the thankfulness and all that,
(24:44):
the rice and the water turnsyellow and the smell, even
though a lot of people don'tlike it smells like fermentation
.
Okay, let me see if I can showit.
I have it here because I stilldo it until this day, but this
is after so much work.
This is after three years.
(25:05):
Hold on, let me see, you cansee it, oh, wow.
But look at the one for positivelove the rice even
disintegrated wow, totallydifferent, like a catalyst, and
the smell.
I love the smell of this one.
I love it.
It's not like flourfermentation, but flour, and
it's like.
(25:25):
This means so much to mebecause it changed with me.
I changed completely.
Pure love.
That's changed.
You know, yeah, what a is?
They're not supposed to work,but I did it differently again,
allowing the emotion to be sowhen I was sad, when I was angry
.
I will just put it on my heartit's like it's okay to feel this
way because, again, it's okayto feel sad, it's okay to feel
(25:47):
angry, it's okay to feel theseemotions.
It's just what doesn't make itso easy, or okay is that how we
deal with them?
You know, because I havefriends and even my daughter
that did the exercise when shewas younger and she was going
through a lot and just havingthe bottles in her room, both,
both, both bottles the rice andthe water turned black.
(26:09):
Wow, let's not talk about this.
Mouth is the worst mal ever.
Uh, so when a lot of peoplehave a lot of anger and then
just the presence being aroundthe bottle, it will turn.
It will show where you are withyourself.
So again, it was a realizationthat it shows you again where
you are and how you're doingwith yourself, not for you to
feel bad or anything like that,but to be more conscious of be
(26:30):
aware yeah, make you aware.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Awareness is like is the purveyor of disease.
I mean, it's like when we'reunaware of it and we pretend
like everything's fine, but lifeis actually not fine, then
that's actually doing more harmthan good.
So yeah, exactly.
Awareness is the most powerfultool that we can start with.
I love having that like visualaid.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I know, right, that's .
I love this one because youallow me to see clearly.
And then again, instead ofgrabbing when I was sad or angry
, instead of just saying, stupid, idiot, I hate you, blah, blah,
blah, blah, which I want peopleto do it to start with.
But then I was just like again,it's okay to feel this way,
it's okay to feel angry, becauseit does hurt, you know, know,
it frustrates me.
It's okay to feel this way,it's okay to believe, and I made
it like a mantra, mantra,mantra, and I was feeling the
(27:15):
anger, but allowing it to be, itfermented too.
It smells like fermentation.
So I'm using it now towards myadvantage, not towards my
disadvantage.
Nice, that's awesome.
So it works too.
So, um, and I have, I lovehaving those again.
Those, those are three years ofemotions in there.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I love it.
I love all that I do.
Neurographic, where I pull itall up every morning because I
had to learn how to feelnegative feelings, because I
suppressed everything.
So, like I was, I'm a seven onthe Enneagram I don't know if
you follow the Enneagram, butit's one of the things they
teach and I'm a seven, whichmeans like there's no painful
emotions, and so I had to learnto like every morning I'm like
(27:57):
no, I have a date with myselfevery morning all the negative
emotions.
I do the release on them andthen I go about my day and that
way they are not activated byother people, because they will
be activated by other people ifyou don't do it yourself.
And that's just the truth of it.
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I don't like other people taking my power.
Exactly exactly that's how itis.
It's like doing it in ahealthier, more beneficial way.
Then you will feel like youcould regain your power and, no
matter what other people say ordo, they can never take it away
from you.
You're not even giving it awayyou.
You give it away if you want to.
But this you still have controlis when people take it from you
(28:40):
and you allow them to take itaway from you and the way they
do it is like they make you moreangry, arguing, fighting and
being upset for what they did ordidn't do or didn't say.
It just giving them the power,and that's why you feel the way
you feel.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah the like.
The thing I've learned is thatthe second, I feel confused.
When I'm speaking to somebody,I stopped talking to them and I
go inside and I'm like, why do Ifeel confused right now?
And then I'll be like, okay,are they trying to manipulate me
or are they triggering an oldpart or are they like what's
happening?
And then I'll just kind of putmy invisible, like my cloak up,
(29:16):
my energy cloak, and then I'mlike and I'll just listen to
what they're saying and justkind of observe before I react,
and before I used to be veryreactive where I'd be like
you're like getting fights, youknow, and I'm not like an angry
person, not like fighting, butlike you know, relationships
especially.
I would just react and then seethe pleasure on their face that
(29:36):
they just won and I was like,yeah, yeah yes, I tell people.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's like when someone is triggered by what I
say and they start just goingoff on me, like yesterday that
text message, um, I had to goback.
I go inside me right away,especially if I feel something.
It's like, oh, that I felt, Ifelt that so they could still be
blah, blah, blah.
I'm already inside.
It's like, oh, where's thatcoming from?
(30:06):
What is it that I need to heal?
And they're still blah, blah,blah.
But I'm still right here andI'm just doing the work, asking
questions, understanding, likereally going deep within me.
By the time, after a few minutesI start, my body starts
relaxing, the feeling is goingaway.
I'm feeling, you know, theunderstanding is greater.
That's when I see the beauty ofit, the appreciation for the
(30:29):
other person still being blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, right
here on the other side.
But once I'm like I did theprocess, the work, I come out of
it and that person eitherstorms out of the room because I
didn't engage with that by kindof thing, or two, it just
changes right in front of you,like, oh, these girls are good,
let's go on to this.
Okay, let's go to this, andit's all um, again empowering,
(30:54):
and that's how I helped them,you know, instead of um arguing
back yeah, I mean, I was justwatching this great youtube
video.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
It was on youtube instagram video and they did an
experiment um to like combatbullying.
And the more defensive theperson who was getting bullied
got, the more power the bullytook.
And as soon defensive theperson who was getting bullied
got, the more power the bullytook.
And as soon as the personswitched, so then they switched
and the guy went like yeah,you're right, and they didn't
(31:23):
argue it literally deflated thebully.
They had no power.
And I was like we think thatthat's powerless and I'm like,
actually, that's powerful.
It's just like maybe you'reright.
Yes, yes, they can't sayanything, like they can't do
anything.
It's just like you've justliterally taken all of their
power.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah, and it's not about controlling, it's not
about diminishing.
For me is, again, that's how Ihelp you, because I love you,
you know, and and and feedinginto that anger.
I know that it will not help me, it will not help you will not
help anyone, so I'm not going togo there.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather step back and stepaway from you and give you your
space because I know that that'swhat you need and then allow
(32:05):
you to be, you know, becausewhere you are is where you're
supposed to be.
It's not bad, or?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
anything like that.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
It's just, it might be hurting you, but then you
will be ready to come out ofthat whenever you're ready.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, so it's only last 90 seconds.
It's what we feed them thatmakes them big.
So if you have something inthere feeding that emotion
that's harming you, then thenthat's like, I think, your
responsibility to kind of likeget curious about the emotion
and go.
I don't want to store this inhere for later.
So let me see if I can flip it,because it's just a chemical
reaction, like it literally is,and once you can observe it, you
(32:44):
can come back into the emotionwith less intensity and decide
how you want to like transformit.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Yes, always, always, always, always.
So, again, again.
All that stuff is yet in thebook, how I deal with a lot of
the situations that will help metransform them or grow from a?
Um, help me be who I am rightnow, again, which I consider
myself love, you know, yeah,it's one of the most powerful
(33:12):
tools, is the greatest tool wehave is the is the one thing
that is actual, real.
You know love and we love.
You deserve anyone and everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, no, I think that like it's funny, because I
think the movement came in the60s but they did it all wrong
because they wanted to do itthrough psychedelics and I'm
like that's not how you get tolove.
You get to love through yourheart, not through a drug, but
and so it's just's funny, likeyou know, watching the
resurgence of that, like I likehave a course in miracles or I
(33:47):
follow, like Marianne Williamsonand people who are teaching
like it's time to come back tolove.
And Bruce Lipton, I met himonce and and he oh, you did.
Oh my god, yeah, I met him atthis conference in Florida, um,
and he, he walks up to me and hegoes my love, you need to speak
from your heart and not yourslides.
(34:08):
The world needs you to do it.
You came here to do and I waslike I think he's channeling
from God, right?
now and I'm like I know I'vebeen ignoring you and then, like
it just set my life on thistrajectory of starting a podcast
and doing things that I did notwant to do and my like.
I was like but when, like BruceLipton looks at you through the
(34:28):
mouth of God and he's like, hey, this is what you came here to
do, you need to get on it, I waslike, okay, message received.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Awesome.
Yeah, that's one of the guysthat I love listening to and
it's funny that a lot of peopleget triggered by him.
It's like especially duringCOVID, because she was talking a
lot and explaining and all that, a lot of people was like, oh,
that stupid guy is scary, thatguy shouldn't do this, that guy
should just like like you'remissing the message, like okay,
(34:57):
I mean, especially during COVID,like everything was through a
lens of fear and control, and so, hearing somebody speak about
love, you couldn't hear it,because the the glasses that
were put over most people's eyeswere fear and control.
Yeah, you literally couldn'thear those literally, literally,
and you could feel it andeverything.
So it was an easy time.
(35:19):
So I remember my family toowill be mad at me and everything
because I wasn't reactingtowards what was happening, it's
like, but it's not for us toreact, it's giving us an
opportunity, you know.
Okay, I'm just gonna go aheadand take that opportunity, and
that's where the first book cameout.
You know, the uh, powerthesaurus, positive vocabulary
through covid and all thatbecause, again, seeing it as an
(35:40):
opportunity, making a change,yeah, yeah, I think that's
awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yeah, no, I love Bruce.
I always call him Bruce.
I love Bruce, I know, I knowhis conferences and I'm just
really grateful that I got tomeet him and then, oh, that's so
cool and that he spoke the wayhe did to you.
Oh, I was just like, okay, I'mlistening.
And then it was just funnybecause I was supposed to meet
(36:06):
him the first conference that Iwent to and then somebody needed
, like they were having reallybad neck pain, so I missed my
like opportunity to meet himbecause I went and helped them
instead.
And I mean, I don't regret it,it was who I am.
And then when I had theopportunity to go see him at
this four-day conference withMichael Beckwith for the
(36:26):
Marriage of Spirituality andScience and it was so cool to
see both of them Bruce wassupposed to be representing
science, but he speaks bothlanguages so fluently and he
doesn't see the differencebetween them.
And like I find I'm the same way, I'm like I don't, they're the
same language, they're just.
(36:46):
I mean, they're the samemeaning, it's just different
language.
And so I kept having all thesecool synchronicities.
Like I met the conferenceorganizer because he was having
hip pain in the elevator and I'mlike I could fix that for you,
you.
And then like so.
Then he's like, oh, my god,you're amazing, come in, you're
gonna get an invitation to likethe private party and you can
come back and have dinner withlike Bruce and Michael and like,
(37:08):
um, and it was so cool and Iwas like, oh, that was like one
of those things where you knowwithout a shadow of doubt that
you are like in divine alignmentwith your higher calling, where
the universe is like.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Let me show you how magical your path is yeah, yeah,
and I think that that's the keytoo is like we all have that
guidance, all of us, but we'renot aware of it, uh, because
we're leading too much in ourheads our fear and all that
stuff, but we're just allowingthings to be and just being
present.
That's when you see all thesynchronicities and the way I
(37:40):
like to put it is like it's likea big puzzle and then where
each piece had to be in aspecific place to make the
picture beautiful.
But how in this world, we areall a piece of a puzzle that is
put in a specific place at aspecific time, or at the right
time for you to obtain.
(38:01):
What is it that you're ready toobtain?
And we're all doing thatconsciously or unconsciously,
and I've been able to explain ithere.
It's like I was able to stepback and see all those movements
of specific people and movingat a specific place at a
specific time, just to give mewhat I had just asked for.
It's like what is that how itworks?
Speaker 1 (38:23):
call it the divine chess game.
Yeah.
I like that yeah we don'talways know the end game, but we
have to trust that our higherself knows the end game and is
guiding us there.
Yes, our night gets taken out.
It's like it's still like, no,that needed to happen.
Just trust me.
And that's like, yeah, Iunderstand you.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Yeah, and I was telling people at the book
release too.
It's like it's not like I haveperfected.
I still feel the pain, I stillfeel the emotions, I'm aware of
it.
But when I'm feeling the pain,like a lot of times I'm crying.
I just know this for a goodreason.
I know it's for a good reason.
I just know this is for a goodreason, because this is the
reason I'm going through this.
(39:07):
I'm still falling, but tellingmyself that because I know now
is the only truth that is actual, true or real, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
You know, I had a great conversation with God.
I do a lot of channeled writingand with source and I'm very
like it's a daily practice ofmine and he said the problem is
you think the world is going toexist without pain and that's
not true.
And I was like damn it.
It was like the problem is youkeep waiting for the pain to not
(39:36):
be there to move forward.
And I was like dang, you'reright, why do you have to be so
all knowing?
But yeah, it was a veryeye-opening moment for me
because I was waiting for thepain to be gone and it was just
making it deeper.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah, yeah, doing that way, it just goes deeper
and deeper and the pain isgreater and greater, but more
powerful.
So you can see it more clearly,to give you the same
opportunity to get out of thatkind of thing, deal with it
differently.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, I have all the tools now, so like it's nice
being able to help other peoplewho are where I was a couple
years ago and be like oh no, Iwent through hell.
I'm here with a lifeboat, let'sgo.
I got a whole library for you,so we're good.
Yeah, so it's nice to be ableto be on that side, where it's
like the person who can comeback and help the others out of
(40:27):
like hell and be like I can makeit faster for you.
I'll make sure the lifeboatdoesn't plummet into the sea of
sadness.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
You don't have to.
I mean, you can go there if youwant to, because a lot of
people that's the only way canunderstand, you know, going
really deep into the hole andonce they're really there, is
nowhere else to go.
There's like, oh, okay, I getit.
You know, I, I can see now, soit's okay.
But but I think what I'm tryingto do with the book is like you
really don't have to unless youwant to.
Yeah, that's it.
(40:57):
It's like because I did it too.
It's like I didn't want to seeit.
I was the one refusing and theuniverse was giving me a little
tap, okay, but how about?
You know you can go this way?
Like now, I'm gonna go this way.
You know, come on, it waspushing me harder, not this way,
just a little harder.
No, I'm still being so stubborn, and it wasn't until the
universe literally had to pushme all the way.
(41:19):
It's like, okay, you're notgetting the message I'm just
gonna push you in it and seewhat you do.
Now it's like oh, I get it.
I should have done it the firsttime you did this.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'm not a spiritual bitch.
Slap, and I think that you toldme that I actually like I have
a secret podcast that I juststarted and I like, I like, I
like get more.
I have more fun on that one.
It's like um, I'm like this iscalled the spiritual bitch slap.
I'm like, hey, you betterlisten, because you don't want,
like, you don't want a biggerhand coming down, so like you
(41:52):
don't want to.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
But if you want to, it's like it's okay, you're
still gonna come out to thesurface.
You know, and I know now that Ibecame a tuning fork and I'm
just the gentle push.
It's like, hey, how about now?
You can do this now and I'mgonna annoy the heck out of you
not intentionally, again, stillout of love and a lot of times
my intuition takes over.
It's like, hey, how about this?
(42:13):
How about this?
Okay, I'm just gonna be thegentle one.
I know that.
But if you don't want to hearit, it's okay.
I'm not gonna get mad, I'm notgonna take it personal.
I just know that the universeloves you so much, it's gonna
take care of you and it's gonnaat some point push you, like
literally push you down into thecliff.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, go oh my gosh, I feel like I love when I I
always know when I'm channelwriting because it'll always say
we love you so much.
Like that's always what theystart with and I'm like I know
that's not from me, so like, andit is like we know how hard it
is to do these things that we'reasking you to do and we also
want to help you.
(42:50):
Like let us help you, let us.
It's like Jerry Maguire, let mehelp you.
Or like I forget the scenewhere he's like help me, help
you.
Or you know, it's uh, now Ineed, now I need to go watch
that movie.
But, um, it's like that momentwhere, like jerry's like let me
help you and you know, and uh,sometimes, yeah, in our own
wakes, we have like a traumaaround receiving and that needs
(43:12):
to be cleared so you can receivedivine guidance.
Like it's just part of it.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, just I'm stepping out of the way and
again seeing seeing everythingwith compassion, love and
understanding, biggerunderstanding, I like to say it
is like learning how to lookeverything and everyone through
God's eyes.
Yeah, everything is justperfected.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And it's there for your greatest good.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
No matter what Mm-hmm , and it's there for your
greatest good.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Yeah, number one, especially this situation which
I'm just going to say to peoplewho are in the shit right now.
I know that sentence doesn'tfeel good, and so I'm just going
to say, like one day you'llunderstand what that means in a
way that's beautiful.
Right now, if someone's hurtingyou, it might not make sense to
think like that and like I justwant you to know that one day
(44:03):
you'll forgive them.
But like, don't think that.
That's like this person who'shurting you right now you're
supposed to be like, oh, I'mgonna like love you through it,
because you should never letsomeone hurt you.
And so no it's impossible to doit.
Yeah, no, I'm just saying thatfor people, because I know how
people like, because I work withpeople one-on-one all day long,
and it's like, oh, no, like, oh, so you're just supposed to let
people hurt you?
And it's like no, no, no.
Love includes boundaries.
(44:24):
It includes justice.
It's, um, you know, defendingyourself and not allowing people
to cause you any kind of harmso I just wanted to throw that
in there, because sometimes whenpeople hear the spiritual
community say stuff like that,they're like oh, I'm supposed to
love everyone, even whenthey're ripping me off.
No, because I did that and Iwas like I didn't understand
(44:44):
boundaries or how to hold themwith people when I was in that
space of complete innocence.
And then I let people hurt me alot and I'm like I want to make
sure other people know thatthat's not divine justice,
that's not what we're saying,yeah, there is some, there is
more, so much more to it, and Ido.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
It's a process to get there.
You cannot do it right away,because all you're feeling is
the pain, the anger, thefrustration, because, you're
right, you're supposed to feelthose emotions first.
You're not allowed to see whatis happening right now.
There is injustice, there isthis, and you're feeling it.
That's what makes it real, butthat's a.
It's a fact, though, that thesooner you understand that you
(45:26):
come, first you do the work, youlove yourself, you have
compassion for yourself, feelthe emotion allowing them to be
just like the rice that shows itin there.
Once it starts fermenting, thenyou feel different, and that's
why, once you do that, then youcan send love.
Yeah, you cannot do it from theget-go, because it's just not
there.
No, you know, I had a friend along time ago that she was not
(45:48):
um, having an easy time with hersister and we were talking
about this, and she understood,like, okay, well, all I have to
do is send her love.
It's like, well, if you can,yes, it will help you
tremendously.
And she's like, okay, well,yeah, you know, I want to try.
And then I met her again.
It's like I'm trying to sendlove to my sister.
I said, like well, you'resending love with that attitude.
That's not love.
Put it that way.
(46:08):
So let's just stop sending herlove and just concentrate on you
.
How can you love yourself, howcan you put yourself first?
How can you do these things foryou?
You, you, you, you, you, you,you.
Because when you do, you seethat the world around you
changes and we see the worldaround you changes.
Then you see that they areeverything and everyone has been
(46:31):
all there for you to give youan opportunity.
You can see it clearly.
Once you see it clearly, thenyou can feel the love for that,
the appreciation for that.
Only then you can send the loveand appreciation.
But at the beginning, no, no, Iwouldn't ask anyone to do that.
But it's just a process yeah,I'm always like.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
I just like people to know like there's a process to
get there.
So don't think, if you're inthe thick of it, that, like you,
should be all love and light,because there's a period for
needing to be pissed off andthere's a period for needing to
grieve and be sad, and there's a, there's a place for fear, and
it's a valid place, and thenthere's a place for, you know,
guilt and shame, to all processthrough in their own way.
(47:09):
Um, that's what keeps us humanand they're not diminishing your
experience or your value.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
So exactly, absolutely true.
No, it is a process, but, butagain, that it's more of a
reminder.
It's like just remember thatyou're not alone and it's part
of the process, it's part ofyour growth, it's part of your
evolution, especially themoments that don't seem like it.
But if you start looking for orputting your attention, your
energy towards what you want outof the situation, not the
(47:36):
obstacles, then you will getthere faster.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
But you're not doing anything wrong, you know, yeah,
oh, this is such a greatconversation and um, so tell our
, the listeners, where can theyfind your book um, amazon.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
For now, I'm gonna put it on my website too, but it
will take you directly toamazon.
Just live with my phd, my name,judith cunningham, and then it
will be there excellent, okay,well, thank you so much, judith.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Um, I'm so excited for people to get to read this
and I'm also inspired, um,because it's inspiring me to
finally dive in and write my ownbook that I I have sitting on
my computer that's not yet puttogether.
Um, so, um, yeah, what is yourlast parting kind of like wish
for anyone who's listening tothis today?
Speaker 2 (48:30):
that's, let's bring our hope back.
I know that situations rightnow are not easy, but we're in
the right track, especially ifwe start loving the heck out of
ourselves.
This is the greatestopportunity that we have to go
back to ourselves, because wematter.
No matter where you are withyourself, no matter what you
(48:51):
have gone through, no matter whoyou really are or who you think
you are, you start loving theheck out of you with something
as simple as looking at yourselfin the mirror and say I love
you.
But there's going to beuncomfortable as heck at the
beginning, but repetition,repetition, repetition makes it
believable, and then that's.
That's the star.
So for me, more than anythingelse in this process called life
(49:15):
, let's love the heck out ofourselves.
It's time, we're ready for it.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Excellent, it's a beautiful we're ready for it.
Excellent, it's a beautifulmessage and thank you so much,
judith.
I'll put your link to yourwebsite and the book in the show
notes and I just want to thankyou again.
So, if you forgot, thisbeautiful conversation was with
Judith Cunningham.
The author of Life Is my PhD.
She's a HeartMath Institutepractitioner Is that how you go
(49:41):
by and it sounds like coach yeah, heart math coach and sound
healing practitioner and manymore things.
And so please go check out herbook, support her book and her
self-published book, which isawesome to support, like authors
who are doing it on their own.
I'm assuming it was selfpublished, so, like, I know I
(50:03):
just do that, okay, and so, like, it's really powerful to go
support people who are usingtheir voice without backing
right, like because that'snobody's telling them how to
speak or what to write or whatto say.
They're actually comingstraight from source or from
their heart, and that issomething that you know.
Sometimes, when it's beingpublished by somebody who's only
(50:25):
looking to make money from it,you might miss some of the
authenticity in it.
So I really recommend that yougo buy directly from these
authors who are taking the timeto self-publish, knowing that
their work is getting out therebecause of source, because of
their heart, not because apublisher or an editor told them
what to write so that it wouldsell more copies.
(50:45):
So that's kind of like mylittle plug for small
independent authors.
So I hope you all have a greatday and wherever you are in the
world and, yeah, let me knowwhat you thought of the show
Drop a comment below, take careand thanks again, judith.
Thank you, tabatha, really.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!