October 21, 2024 • 26 mins
Unlock the transformative power of tantric energy and elevate your personal growth journey with me, Tabitha MacDonald. Ever felt like your creativity and sense of purpose hit a roadblock? Discover how reactivating your tantric energy through practices such as breathwork can rejuvenate your life force, stimulating both the mind and body. We'll explore how opening up to this energy can trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, inviting relaxation and connection, and delve into the science behind hormones like dopamine and oxytocin that pave the way to happiness and emotional stability.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome.
My name is Tabitha McDonald.
I'm an intuitive coach and ahealer and I am very excited to
introduce you to Tantra.
Many people don't really knowwhat Tantra is and how to use it
in their lives, and I thinkthat they have a big
misunderstanding of it.
So why am I going to talk aboutit this week?
Because I had a really tantricexperience this week and when I
(00:26):
was out for a walk tonight, Iwas asking my guides what I
should talk about on this week'spodcast and they said tantra.
And I said no.
They said yes.
And so here I am I'm going totalk to you about tantra.
Um, what is tantra and why do weblock it?
And, more importantly, how canwe like wake it up and use it
(00:48):
for our advantage?
So I would say about a year agoI know it was over a year ago I
left my like the last long termrelationship I have and I
completely decided to go within.
I stopped dating.
I'm not even interested.
I decided to just go and do allof my inner work and focus on
(01:09):
my business and my family andmyself.
And it was really interestingbecause I also turned off all of
my tantric energy and I wasafraid that if it was on I would
make really bad decisions.
So I just shut it off.
But I didn't know I shut it offbecause once I shut it off it
(01:32):
was just off.
It's kind of like you don'tknow what you don't know when
it's not there.
I didn't realize the impact itwas having on my manifesting.
I kept going to people andsaying my manifester is broken.
I'm not really sure where mymagic went.
And I realized now I had shutoff the energy that I use to
(01:56):
manifest.
And I figured it out earlierthis week because I was doing a
breathwork session in my magiclamp, which is also known as the
Roxyba light, and I wasdebating my sphincter.
Now, if you don't know whatyour sphincter is, it's a muscle
inside of your anus and, don'tworry, I was activating it
(02:18):
through breath.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
And as I was activating mysphincter, I felt all of this
like really fun energy flow intomy body and I was thinking what
is this like crazy energy thatis taking over my body right now
?
And I was almost addictingbecause I felt like this surge
(02:40):
of power.
And then all of a sudden, mycreativity came back.
I started having, like, clarityof vision and purpose and
everything that I had beenthinking was hard suddenly felt
very easy.
So what did I do to shut it offand how do you turn it back on?
This is a good question and weare going to talk about it
(03:05):
because even when it came backon, I realized I was still
terrified of it because it, like, really activates my sexuality
and I don't have a partner andyou know, okay, I'm really good
at taking care of things on myown, so let's not go there.
But like there was somethingabout it where it turned back on
my own.
So let's not go there.
But like there was somethingabout it where it turned back on
(03:25):
my desire to be with a partnerand I don't know if you've
noticed, but the dating scene in2024 is pretty horrendous and I
have no desire to be back outon the apps or inflicting that
kind of like workload.
I mean, last time I did theapps it was horrible, like it
was just so much work.
(03:46):
So I went and talked to myspirit team and they said well,
isn't that funny that you'vebeen denying your sacred power
and isn't it also funny that youhave also been denying
something that you reallyactually want.
And I just kind of poo-pooedthem and said, oh just, you know
, I don't want to deal with thisright now.
(04:08):
Anyways, so back to my storyabout tantric energy.
What is it, how can we use itand how do we know when we've
lost it?
So I'm going to do some readingbecause I think it's more
important to get you some of theaccurate information.
I'm going to cover the scienceand the woo.
So tantric energy is oftenmisunderstood, with many
(04:29):
assuming it's solely aboutsexuality.
In truth, tantra is about theflow of life force, energy,
through every aspect of ourbeing physical, emotional,
mental and spiritual.
When this energy is freeflowing, we experience vitality,
creativity, deeper connectionand a heightened sense of
(04:50):
purpose.
But when it's blocked, it canlead to stagnation,
disconnection and even illness.
And it's funny because now,looking back over the past year,
I can see that I was steeped infrustration.
I was steeped in like can seethat I was steeped in
frustration.
I was steeped in like just alot of like, anger and sadness
(05:10):
and dense, lack energy.
And I just kept saying why ismy magic gone?
Where did my manifestor go?
I miss her.
She's freaking cool.
Now I'm stuck with this likebossy bitch who tells me what to
do all of the time.
It's got a to-do list thatnever completes and is never
satisfied with anything that Ido.
That is my lackster, as opposedto my manifester.
(05:32):
So what I want to talk to youabout is what is Tantra?
At the core, it is the conceptof prana, often referred to as
life force.
Energy and modern sciences canbe correlated with the nervous
system, particularly the vagusnerve, which controls many
bodily functions and regulatesour emotions.
(05:54):
Studies show that mindfulness,breathwork and meditation, which
are key components of tantricpractices, activate the
parasympathetic nervous system,helping the body shift into rest
, repair and connection mode.
Research also points to therole of dopamine and oxytocin,
(06:14):
two of my favorite hormones whenI'm working with clients who
have pain, because dopamine andoxytocin can pretty much heal
the body.
These chemicals are releasedduring connection, intimacy and
even meditation.
These hormones contribute tofeelings of happiness, bonding
and emotional stability.
Opening up tantric energy helpsactivate these neurochemical
(06:38):
processes, creating harmony inthe body and the mind.
So it's really interestingbecause I have a very, very
active meditation practice.
I do a lot of breath work and Ialso regulate my nervous system
pretty much on a daily basis.
I do a lot of body work.
And it's interesting because,like my coach about two weeks
(06:58):
ago was saying that I shouldgive up massage and I literally
was like why, why would I dothat?
And I love it and it's becauseI get a lot of connection during
massage.
It's not just a one-way street,you know, I get connection on
the receiving end as well.
Massage it's not just a one-waystreet, you know, I get
connection on the receiving endas well.
It's all about touch andconnection and like really
having like a beautifulexperience with someone else.
(07:20):
And there's just like I'm justnot at a point in my life where
I really want to let that go.
I'm not really sure that therewill ever be a point in my life
where I want to let that go.
But you know, I thought whywould you have to choose between
coaching and massage when it'spretty much the same thing?
It's just one has a label thatyou're a coach and one has a
label that you're a massagetherapist.
They're not separate.
(07:41):
You can ask any massagetherapist.
They're probably the frontlinetrauma coach for most people.
So let's talk about the woo side, because we talked a little bit
about science and we talkedabout hormones which create
connection and the you knowthose hormones.
We need them.
They're important.
They feel good in our bodiesand they make us feel good in
(08:01):
our bodies.
They make us feel good in theworld.
On the metaphysical level,we're going to talk a little bit
about energy and we're talkingabout, like, chakras and the
root and sacral chakra.
These energy centers areresponsible for grounding us and
fueling creativity, passion andsexuality.
When energy flows freelythrough these centers, it aligns
(08:26):
with higher chakras, supportinga strong spiritual connection,
inner peace and a sense ofpurpose.
One of the first things I dowith people when they start
having, like their spiritualawakenings or they feel like
their intuition is coming in alittle too hot got to ground,
because grounding actually keepsyou in your body and grounding
(08:46):
actually makes your intuitionmore accurate and it makes it
stronger.
Most people don't know thatbecause they are a little
ungrounded when their intuitionkind of like breaks its way into
your consciousness.
But it's really important thatwe ground Now.
If we have a wound, let's saylike sexual trauma, we might not
(09:07):
have an activated sacral chakraor we might have an overactive
sacral chakra.
That can create a ton ofdysregulation in our sexual
energy and this is why we reallyneed to do some like sacred
work on the sacral and the rootchakra, because it's so
(09:28):
important that we get thatauthority back over our
sexuality and our urges and howwe choose to use our bodies.
Now, I'm not going to tellanybody how to use their bodies
Like I'm not saying anythingabout that.
That is a personal decision foreveryone.
But I do think if you're notenjoying your body in a sexual
(09:49):
way, you're missing out onsomething.
Many ancient wisdom traditions,such as Kundalini yoga, see
tantric energy as Kundalini, acoiled serpent of potential that
lies dormant at the base of thespine.
Through practices like breathwork, meditation and
(10:11):
visualization, we can awakenthis energy and allow it to rise
through the chakras, promotingphysical healing, mental clarity
, emotional resilience andspiritual enlightenment.
I want to ask you, I want youto think back for a minute.
Do you remember someone thatyou met that you just had like
this animalistic attraction to?
(10:31):
Like you just were like, oh mygosh, I would just tear their
clothes off, and like you justhad this like fire between you?
That's them waking up yoursacral chakra, activating your
Kundalini energy.
So sometimes, a lot of times,when you meet someone like that
(10:53):
and they break your heart.
We turn off that sacral centerbecause we're afraid of having
our heart broken again, becausewe think that that energy
created the pain in the heart.
And it's not what created thepain in the heart.
The heartbreak created the painin the heart.
Losing something that you lovedor that you liked or that you
had hope for, that's whatcreated the pain in the heart.
Losing something that you lovedor that you liked or that you
had hope for, that's whatcreated the pain in the heart,
(11:17):
not your sacral chakra, not yourKundalini energy and I think
that's what happened with me wasI associated that like
Kundalini magic energy withheartbreak and I decided I just
didn't want to experience thatagain pretty much ever, until
maybe I was like 70.
So I just shut it off because Iblamed that energy for all of
(11:44):
the heartbreak and bad decisionsthat I've made, instead of
really taking responsibility forthe choices that I've made in
relationships.
So why do we block tantricenergy?
Blocking it is incrediblycommon.
Like I just said, I'm usuallyvery aware of this energy and I
blocked it without even knowingit and without even realizing
(12:07):
the cost that it had on my life.
Oftentimes we will block itbecause of conditioning, so we
might be told somewhere alongthe line that sex is bad or our
sexual energy is bad.
And then you know, people whohave a high sex drive are I
forget the modern word.
My kids always tell me what itis.
Now it's called like a boo.
(12:28):
I don't know, I got it wrong.
Don't judge me on that anddon't quote me.
But like you know the old, theold one, and don't quote me.
But like you know, the old, theold one from the eighties was
that you're either, you know, aslut or a man whore.
So there is a lot ofconditioning in society around
sex, and right now I mean thelast round of teenagers that I
saw they took it the oppositeway, where they were like, no,
(12:51):
I'm free with my body and Isleep with whoever I want, but
they weren't actually enjoyingit and they were more
disempowered than the othergirls that I had grown up with
in my own generation becausethey weren't even like enjoying
it.
They were doing it like on amission of I don't even know
what it was, but I digress,trauma will block it and
(13:13):
societal norms that have taughtus to repress our emotions,
particularly around sexualityand creativity.
Here are other reasons Fear ofvulnerability.
This was probably one of thefirst things I had to work
through.
I remember when I read BreneBrown's book about vulnerability
and I was reading through itand I'm like, would anyone want
(13:36):
to be vulnerable?
This is a horrible decision.
Little did I know thatvulnerability is also the key to
your intuition and to yourtantric magic.
It requires us to open up bothphysically and emotionally.
Fear of vulnerability can causeus to shut down emotionally,
(13:58):
which stifles the flow of energy.
Cultural shame many culturesimpose shame around sexual
expression, leading todeep-rooted energy blocks in the
sacral chakra.
This often manifests as guilt,low self-worth and a lack of
creativity.
I would say that over the lastthree years, I have started
(14:20):
prioritizing creativity like itwas my job, like I paint.
Now I do things likeneurographica.
I allow myself to, like youknow, decorate when I want to,
because it's creativity, it'sexpression, it's art and we need
it to let our logical leftbrain rest and to have our right
(14:42):
brain come online and like,recharge the energy system.
It is a key part of manifesting.
Go for a walk with music, notan ebook, not, like you know,
the news.
Just listen to music and thatis going to unlock your energy
because it's going to helpintroduce that like flow of
(15:04):
creative energy back into yourbody and to help shut down the
logical thinking brain.
Trauma is probably one of thebiggest blocks to accessing our
tantric energy and I thinkthat's really sad because, as a
sexual abuse survivor, I willsay that that to me is the
(15:26):
biggest crime against the personthat was attacked, because our
tantric energy is sacred andit's beautiful and for us to not
feel safe to use that energy inour manifestations and our
creative flow in life isactually an insult to the divine
.
If you are struggling and I'vebeen there I had a lot of sexual
(15:48):
trauma I had to work through, Itotally get it.
I would say do your work andget rid of it.
And it's possible because I didit fast and now I help my
clients do it fast and I neverlike label myself as a sexual
trauma coach.
But I do attract a lot ofpeople who have sexual trauma
and I think you know we can kindof read each other's energy
(16:10):
fields and they feel safe withme and I love that because I can
hold a really sacred, beautifulspace for people who are
processing through really bigfeelings and really big things
in a really safe container.
Safe container, I think, alsosometimes it's hard to really
(16:33):
help someone if you haven'texperienced their pain, because
you can kind of like stand onthe outside of it.
And when I say that I also wantto interject if you have done
your work, because if youhaven't done your work and
you're trying to help peoplewith their pain, then you just
kind of absorb it and sometimesthat can create some toxic
codependency.
But that's going to be a wholenother podcast episode.
I just wanted to address thesexual trauma piece because I
(16:56):
think we talk about it openlyenough and the impact of the
depth of what it takes from usMen and women this is not just
women of what it takes from usMen and women this is not just
women, this is men and women.
Let's talk aboutover-identification with the ego
.
When we focus too much oncontrol, status or rigid
(17:16):
thinking, we disconnect from ourdeeper emotional and spiritual
bodies.
This imbalance creates energyblockages, particularly in the
heart and throat chakra, and wejust spent a whole weekend
unlocking the throat chakra,which was so much fun and me and
we cleared some trauma out ofthe throat Just people who
(17:37):
didn't know how to connect theirheart and their voice and
seeing the transformation inthat to me was such a beautiful
experience.
And now I can see funny enoughthat I'm saying this why I
needed to unlock my tantricenergy prior to going into the
workshop that we ran thisweekend.
Because it really is this flowof energy that helps us connect
(18:04):
in with our spiritual body, withour higher self, with who we
really are, outside of thedensity of being human.
When we have an imbalance inour energy and we're like super
rigid and we're like controllingand we're disconnected from our
higher self, usually life sucks.
Like we're in really unhealthyrelationships, we don't have
(18:26):
money, we don't feel fulfillmentin our jobs, maybe we feel very
lonely, like that one came upfor me last week and I was like
I'm not lonely and I thought, oh, am I Maybe?
Oh no, am I lonely?
Oh crap, I might be.
Let's talk about how it showsup in other areas.
So like I have been workingwith the body for over 20 years
(18:49):
and I have seen this so muchwhere people have chronic
fatigue, they have reproductiveissues, lower back pain,
digestive problems that's allsigns in the body that you don't
have a healthy flow of lifeforce, energy supporting and
sustaining you Emotionally, youmight have a lot of repressed
(19:09):
emotions, difficulty withintimacy and mood swings, often
to the point where you're justlike blocking all of your
feelings and shoving them sodeep inside that it feels like
if you actually tapped into themthey might erupt out of you
like an uncontrollable volcano.
If you actually tapped into them, they might erupt out of you
like an uncontrollable volcano.
Mental can be a lack of focus,creativity and a rigid, linear
(19:32):
approach to problem solving.
This can indicate no tantricenergy.
So when I'm working with peoplewho say they have like ADHD and
all of these like problemsfocusing, I'm like a sphincter
says what we need to get yoursphincter back online because
that is going to help you focus.
I think that was a Phil and Tedquote.
(19:53):
I hope it was, but anyways, Ijust wanted to throw that in
there because I like saying it.
As energy flows through thehigher chakras, you feel a
stronger connection to yourintuition, your higher self and
the universe.
I'm going to tell you that'swhere the magic is.
When I feel the flow ofuniversal energy coming through
(20:13):
my body and connecting me to theearth, everything feels amazing
.
It feels like anything ispossible and not like everything
is unfolding for me as soon asmy ego takes back over and it's
like worry and fear and doubtand the density of lack.
I'm like lost in a sea of painand like struggle.
(20:37):
As soon as I'm connected backup, it's like this beautiful
life force, energy, and I feellike my body just naturally
flows to exactly where I'msupposed to be, when I'm
supposed to be there.
I want to talk about ourEnneagram types and the tantric
energy, but I actually think Imight save that for another
(20:58):
episode because I like to keepthese kind of short.
So so, ultimately, I want toask you a question Are you
blocking your tantric energy?
Can you resonate with anythingthat I said?
And if you are, how is itserving you?
(21:19):
But, more importantly, what isit costing you, now that you
kind of have a differentperspective on what you might be
missing out on?
What is it really costing you?
What area of your life isn't inflow right now?
(21:41):
And if you're married and you'renot having hot, steamy sex with
your spouse, why?
Why are you not?
Is it because you guys are busy?
Is it because you'redisconnected?
Really, think about it.
Maybe you have little kids athome.
I don't know, it's up to you tofigure out.
But when you like have a personthat you can like activate all
(22:07):
of that energy with you, becomelike this dynamic power couple
that can really make some stuffhappen in the world.
I know that, like some of thepeople that I've dated, and when
we had a really strong tantricconnection, my manifesting was
on fire, like, even though therelationship wasn't that great,
(22:27):
the manifesting was amazing.
Like I could think about moneyand it would just show up.
So I want to ask you, like, ifyou're in a relationship, if you
are coupled and you're reallyblocked from each other, what
would it take for you two tolike reactivate the tantra
between you?
And if you are really blockedthere, there's a lot of ways to
(22:52):
reactivate it, but you have towant to.
You really have to decide thatthat's what you want.
And if it's not, then why areyou there Really?
Why Really think about it?
That's a serious question.
Why Really think about it?
That's a serious questionbecause we should have passion
(23:13):
in our relationships.
It's fun, like it's what getspeople through the crap times.
Passion and play and creativity, like sovereign unity that's
what gets people through thehard times.
And if you're with someonewho's not willing to meet you
there.
Why are you compromising?
What are you getting out of it?
Are you afraid of your ownpower?
(23:35):
Are you afraid of change?
What is it?
And I know that's a hardquestion because I really had to
ask myself that when I've leftrelationships before.
And I remember one relationshipI was in and there was zero
tantric energy connection, likezero, and I picked it on purpose
because I was afraid of my ownsexual energy.
(23:58):
I was afraid of it likecontrolling my, my
decision-making, instead of likelearning how to embody it and
embrace it and how to use itlike a superpower.
So that's my question for youtonight, and I hope you enjoyed
listening to this episodebecause I really didn't want to
record it because I thought itwas kind of an embarrassing
(24:20):
topic to talk about, butactually I talk about it all of
the time.
It's one of the things I talkmostly about with my clients,
like you know.
Are you having fun, fun?
And if the answer is no, I'mlike why, let's work on that
first.
So that's what I'm going toleave you with tonight.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Soma Flow podcast.
(24:43):
My name is Tabitha McDonald andI hope to see you again.
Hope this did not scare you offand I hope it got you thinking
a little bit about what youmight be missing out on.
Have a great night, bye.
Hello and welcome.
My name is Tabitha McDonald.
I'm an intuitive coach and ahealer and I am very excited to
introduce you to Tantra.
Many people don't really knowwhat Tantra is and how to use it
in their lives, and I thinkthat they have a big
misunderstanding of it.
So why am I going to talk aboutit this week?
Because I had a really tantricexperience this week and when I
(00:26):
was out for a walk tonight, Iwas asking my guides what I
should talk about on this week'spodcast and they said tantra.
And I said no.
They said yes.
And so here I am I'm going totalk to you about tantra.
Um, what is tantra and why do weblock it?
And, more importantly, how canwe like wake it up and use it
(00:48):
for our advantage?
So I would say about a year agoI know it was over a year ago I
left my like the last long termrelationship I have and I
completely decided to go within.
I stopped dating.
I'm not even interested.
I decided to just go and do allof my inner work and focus on
(01:09):
my business and my family andmyself.
And it was really interestingbecause I also turned off all of
my tantric energy and I wasafraid that if it was on I would
make really bad decisions.
So I just shut it off.
But I didn't know I shut it offbecause once I shut it off it
(01:32):
was just off.
It's kind of like you don'tknow what you don't know when
it's not there.
I didn't realize the impact itwas having on my manifesting.
I kept going to people andsaying my manifester is broken.
I'm not really sure where mymagic went.
And I realized now I had shutoff the energy that I use to
(01:56):
manifest.
And I figured it out earlierthis week because I was doing a
breathwork session in my magiclamp, which is also known as the
Roxyba light, and I wasdebating my sphincter.
Now, if you don't know whatyour sphincter is, it's a muscle
inside of your anus and, don'tworry, I was activating it
(02:18):
through breath.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
And as I was activating mysphincter, I felt all of this
like really fun energy flow intomy body and I was thinking what
is this like crazy energy thatis taking over my body right now
?
And I was almost addictingbecause I felt like this surge
(02:40):
of power.
And then all of a sudden, mycreativity came back.
I started having, like, clarityof vision and purpose and
everything that I had beenthinking was hard suddenly felt
very easy.
So what did I do to shut it offand how do you turn it back on?
This is a good question and weare going to talk about it
(03:05):
because even when it came backon, I realized I was still
terrified of it because it, like, really activates my sexuality
and I don't have a partner andyou know, okay, I'm really good
at taking care of things on myown, so let's not go there.
But like there was somethingabout it where it turned back on
my own.
So let's not go there.
But like there was somethingabout it where it turned back on
(03:25):
my desire to be with a partnerand I don't know if you've
noticed, but the dating scene in2024 is pretty horrendous and I
have no desire to be back outon the apps or inflicting that
kind of like workload.
I mean, last time I did theapps it was horrible, like it
was just so much work.
(03:46):
So I went and talked to myspirit team and they said well,
isn't that funny that you'vebeen denying your sacred power
and isn't it also funny that youhave also been denying
something that you reallyactually want.
And I just kind of poo-pooedthem and said, oh just, you know
, I don't want to deal with thisright now.
(04:08):
Anyways, so back to my storyabout tantric energy.
What is it, how can we use itand how do we know when we've
lost it?
So I'm going to do some readingbecause I think it's more
important to get you some of theaccurate information.
I'm going to cover the scienceand the woo.
So tantric energy is oftenmisunderstood, with many
(04:29):
assuming it's solely aboutsexuality.
In truth, tantra is about theflow of life force, energy,
through every aspect of ourbeing physical, emotional,
mental and spiritual.
When this energy is freeflowing, we experience vitality,
creativity, deeper connectionand a heightened sense of
(04:50):
purpose.
But when it's blocked, it canlead to stagnation,
disconnection and even illness.
And it's funny because now,looking back over the past year,
I can see that I was steeped infrustration.
I was steeped in like can seethat I was steeped in
frustration.
I was steeped in like just alot of like, anger and sadness
(05:10):
and dense, lack energy.
And I just kept saying why ismy magic gone?
Where did my manifestor go?
I miss her.
She's freaking cool.
Now I'm stuck with this likebossy bitch who tells me what to
do all of the time.
It's got a to-do list thatnever completes and is never
satisfied with anything that Ido.
That is my lackster, as opposedto my manifester.
(05:32):
So what I want to talk to youabout is what is Tantra?
At the core, it is the conceptof prana, often referred to as
life force.
Energy and modern sciences canbe correlated with the nervous
system, particularly the vagusnerve, which controls many
bodily functions and regulatesour emotions.
(05:54):
Studies show that mindfulness,breathwork and meditation, which
are key components of tantricpractices, activate the
parasympathetic nervous system,helping the body shift into rest
, repair and connection mode.
Research also points to therole of dopamine and oxytocin,
(06:14):
two of my favorite hormones whenI'm working with clients who
have pain, because dopamine andoxytocin can pretty much heal
the body.
These chemicals are releasedduring connection, intimacy and
even meditation.
These hormones contribute tofeelings of happiness, bonding
and emotional stability.
Opening up tantric energy helpsactivate these neurochemical
(06:38):
processes, creating harmony inthe body and the mind.
So it's really interestingbecause I have a very, very
active meditation practice.
I do a lot of breath work and Ialso regulate my nervous system
pretty much on a daily basis.
I do a lot of body work.
And it's interesting because,like my coach about two weeks
(06:58):
ago was saying that I shouldgive up massage and I literally
was like why, why would I dothat?
And I love it and it's becauseI get a lot of connection during
massage.
It's not just a one-way street,you know, I get connection on
the receiving end as well.
Massage it's not just a one-waystreet, you know, I get
connection on the receiving endas well.
It's all about touch andconnection and like really
having like a beautifulexperience with someone else.
(07:20):
And there's just like I'm justnot at a point in my life where
I really want to let that go.
I'm not really sure that therewill ever be a point in my life
where I want to let that go.
But you know, I thought whywould you have to choose between
coaching and massage when it'spretty much the same thing?
It's just one has a label thatyou're a coach and one has a
label that you're a massagetherapist.
They're not separate.
(07:41):
You can ask any massagetherapist.
They're probably the frontlinetrauma coach for most people.
So let's talk about the woo side, because we talked a little bit
about science and we talkedabout hormones which create
connection and the you knowthose hormones.
We need them.
They're important.
They feel good in our bodiesand they make us feel good in
(08:01):
our bodies.
They make us feel good in theworld.
On the metaphysical level,we're going to talk a little bit
about energy and we're talkingabout, like, chakras and the
root and sacral chakra.
These energy centers areresponsible for grounding us and
fueling creativity, passion andsexuality.
When energy flows freelythrough these centers, it aligns
(08:26):
with higher chakras, supportinga strong spiritual connection,
inner peace and a sense ofpurpose.
One of the first things I dowith people when they start
having, like their spiritualawakenings or they feel like
their intuition is coming in alittle too hot got to ground,
because grounding actually keepsyou in your body and grounding
(08:46):
actually makes your intuitionmore accurate and it makes it
stronger.
Most people don't know thatbecause they are a little
ungrounded when their intuitionkind of like breaks its way into
your consciousness.
But it's really important thatwe ground Now.
If we have a wound, let's saylike sexual trauma, we might not
(09:07):
have an activated sacral chakraor we might have an overactive
sacral chakra.
That can create a ton ofdysregulation in our sexual
energy and this is why we reallyneed to do some like sacred
work on the sacral and the rootchakra, because it's so
(09:28):
important that we get thatauthority back over our
sexuality and our urges and howwe choose to use our bodies.
Now, I'm not going to tellanybody how to use their bodies
Like I'm not saying anythingabout that.
That is a personal decision foreveryone.
But I do think if you're notenjoying your body in a sexual
(09:49):
way, you're missing out onsomething.
Many ancient wisdom traditions,such as Kundalini yoga, see
tantric energy as Kundalini, acoiled serpent of potential that
lies dormant at the base of thespine.
Through practices like breathwork, meditation and
(10:11):
visualization, we can awakenthis energy and allow it to rise
through the chakras, promotingphysical healing, mental clarity
, emotional resilience andspiritual enlightenment.
I want to ask you, I want youto think back for a minute.
Do you remember someone thatyou met that you just had like
this animalistic attraction to?
(10:31):
Like you just were like, oh mygosh, I would just tear their
clothes off, and like you justhad this like fire between you?
That's them waking up yoursacral chakra, activating your
Kundalini energy.
So sometimes, a lot of times,when you meet someone like that
(10:53):
and they break your heart.
We turn off that sacral centerbecause we're afraid of having
our heart broken again, becausewe think that that energy
created the pain in the heart.
And it's not what created thepain in the heart.
The heartbreak created the painin the heart.
Losing something that you lovedor that you liked or that you
had hope for, that's whatcreated the pain in the heart.
Losing something that you lovedor that you liked or that you
had hope for, that's whatcreated the pain in the heart,
(11:17):
not your sacral chakra, not yourKundalini energy and I think
that's what happened with me wasI associated that like
Kundalini magic energy withheartbreak and I decided I just
didn't want to experience thatagain pretty much ever, until
maybe I was like 70.
So I just shut it off because Iblamed that energy for all of
(11:44):
the heartbreak and bad decisionsthat I've made, instead of
really taking responsibility forthe choices that I've made in
relationships.
So why do we block tantricenergy?
Blocking it is incrediblycommon.
Like I just said, I'm usuallyvery aware of this energy and I
blocked it without even knowingit and without even realizing
(12:07):
the cost that it had on my life.
Oftentimes we will block itbecause of conditioning, so we
might be told somewhere alongthe line that sex is bad or our
sexual energy is bad.
And then you know, people whohave a high sex drive are I
forget the modern word.
My kids always tell me what itis.
Now it's called like a boo.
(12:28):
I don't know, I got it wrong.
Don't judge me on that anddon't quote me.
But like you know the old, theold one, and don't quote me.
But like you know, the old, theold one from the eighties was
that you're either, you know, aslut or a man whore.
So there is a lot ofconditioning in society around
sex, and right now I mean thelast round of teenagers that I
saw they took it the oppositeway, where they were like, no,
(12:51):
I'm free with my body and Isleep with whoever I want, but
they weren't actually enjoyingit and they were more
disempowered than the othergirls that I had grown up with
in my own generation becausethey weren't even like enjoying
it.
They were doing it like on amission of I don't even know
what it was, but I digress,trauma will block it and
(13:13):
societal norms that have taughtus to repress our emotions,
particularly around sexualityand creativity.
Here are other reasons Fear ofvulnerability.
This was probably one of thefirst things I had to work
through.
I remember when I read BreneBrown's book about vulnerability
and I was reading through itand I'm like, would anyone want
(13:36):
to be vulnerable?
This is a horrible decision.
Little did I know thatvulnerability is also the key to
your intuition and to yourtantric magic.
It requires us to open up bothphysically and emotionally.
Fear of vulnerability can causeus to shut down emotionally,
(13:58):
which stifles the flow of energy.
Cultural shame many culturesimpose shame around sexual
expression, leading todeep-rooted energy blocks in the
sacral chakra.
This often manifests as guilt,low self-worth and a lack of
creativity.
I would say that over the lastthree years, I have started
(14:20):
prioritizing creativity like itwas my job, like I paint.
Now I do things likeneurographica.
I allow myself to, like youknow, decorate when I want to,
because it's creativity, it'sexpression, it's art and we need
it to let our logical leftbrain rest and to have our right
(14:42):
brain come online and like,recharge the energy system.
It is a key part of manifesting.
Go for a walk with music, notan ebook, not, like you know,
the news.
Just listen to music and thatis going to unlock your energy
because it's going to helpintroduce that like flow of
(15:04):
creative energy back into yourbody and to help shut down the
logical thinking brain.
Trauma is probably one of thebiggest blocks to accessing our
tantric energy and I thinkthat's really sad because, as a
sexual abuse survivor, I willsay that that to me is the
(15:26):
biggest crime against the personthat was attacked, because our
tantric energy is sacred andit's beautiful and for us to not
feel safe to use that energy inour manifestations and our
creative flow in life isactually an insult to the divine
.
If you are struggling and I'vebeen there I had a lot of sexual
(15:48):
trauma I had to work through, Itotally get it.
I would say do your work andget rid of it.
And it's possible because I didit fast and now I help my
clients do it fast and I neverlike label myself as a sexual
trauma coach.
But I do attract a lot ofpeople who have sexual trauma
and I think you know we can kindof read each other's energy
(16:10):
fields and they feel safe withme and I love that because I can
hold a really sacred, beautifulspace for people who are
processing through really bigfeelings and really big things
in a really safe container.
Safe container, I think, alsosometimes it's hard to really
(16:33):
help someone if you haven'texperienced their pain, because
you can kind of like stand onthe outside of it.
And when I say that I also wantto interject if you have done
your work, because if youhaven't done your work and
you're trying to help peoplewith their pain, then you just
kind of absorb it and sometimesthat can create some toxic
codependency.
But that's going to be a wholenother podcast episode.
I just wanted to address thesexual trauma piece because I
(16:56):
think we talk about it openlyenough and the impact of the
depth of what it takes from usMen and women this is not just
women of what it takes from usMen and women this is not just
women, this is men and women.
Let's talk aboutover-identification with the ego
.
When we focus too much oncontrol, status or rigid
(17:16):
thinking, we disconnect from ourdeeper emotional and spiritual
bodies.
This imbalance creates energyblockages, particularly in the
heart and throat chakra, and wejust spent a whole weekend
unlocking the throat chakra,which was so much fun and me and
we cleared some trauma out ofthe throat Just people who
(17:37):
didn't know how to connect theirheart and their voice and
seeing the transformation inthat to me was such a beautiful
experience.
And now I can see funny enoughthat I'm saying this why I
needed to unlock my tantricenergy prior to going into the
workshop that we ran thisweekend.
Because it really is this flowof energy that helps us connect
(18:04):
in with our spiritual body, withour higher self, with who we
really are, outside of thedensity of being human.
When we have an imbalance inour energy and we're like super
rigid and we're like controllingand we're disconnected from our
higher self, usually life sucks.
Like we're in really unhealthyrelationships, we don't have
(18:26):
money, we don't feel fulfillmentin our jobs, maybe we feel very
lonely, like that one came upfor me last week and I was like
I'm not lonely and I thought, oh, am I Maybe?
Oh no, am I lonely?
Oh crap, I might be.
Let's talk about how it showsup in other areas.
So like I have been workingwith the body for over 20 years
(18:49):
and I have seen this so muchwhere people have chronic
fatigue, they have reproductiveissues, lower back pain,
digestive problems that's allsigns in the body that you don't
have a healthy flow of lifeforce, energy supporting and
sustaining you Emotionally, youmight have a lot of repressed
(19:09):
emotions, difficulty withintimacy and mood swings, often
to the point where you're justlike blocking all of your
feelings and shoving them sodeep inside that it feels like
if you actually tapped into themthey might erupt out of you
like an uncontrollable volcano.
If you actually tapped into them, they might erupt out of you
like an uncontrollable volcano.
Mental can be a lack of focus,creativity and a rigid, linear
(19:32):
approach to problem solving.
This can indicate no tantricenergy.
So when I'm working with peoplewho say they have like ADHD and
all of these like problemsfocusing, I'm like a sphincter
says what we need to get yoursphincter back online because
that is going to help you focus.
I think that was a Phil and Tedquote.
(19:53):
I hope it was, but anyways, Ijust wanted to throw that in
there because I like saying it.
As energy flows through thehigher chakras, you feel a
stronger connection to yourintuition, your higher self and
the universe.
I'm going to tell you that'swhere the magic is.
When I feel the flow ofuniversal energy coming through
(20:13):
my body and connecting me to theearth, everything feels amazing
.
It feels like anything ispossible and not like everything
is unfolding for me as soon asmy ego takes back over and it's
like worry and fear and doubtand the density of lack.
I'm like lost in a sea of painand like struggle.
(20:37):
As soon as I'm connected backup, it's like this beautiful
life force, energy, and I feellike my body just naturally
flows to exactly where I'msupposed to be, when I'm
supposed to be there.
I want to talk about ourEnneagram types and the tantric
energy, but I actually think Imight save that for another
(20:58):
episode because I like to keepthese kind of short.
So so, ultimately, I want toask you a question Are you
blocking your tantric energy?
Can you resonate with anythingthat I said?
And if you are, how is itserving you?
(21:19):
But, more importantly, what isit costing you, now that you
kind of have a differentperspective on what you might be
missing out on?
What is it really costing you?
What area of your life isn't inflow right now?
(21:41):
And if you're married and you'renot having hot, steamy sex with
your spouse, why?
Why are you not?
Is it because you guys are busy?
Is it because you'redisconnected?
Really, think about it.
Maybe you have little kids athome.
I don't know, it's up to you tofigure out.
But when you like have a personthat you can like activate all
(22:07):
of that energy with you, becomelike this dynamic power couple
that can really make some stuffhappen in the world.
I know that, like some of thepeople that I've dated, and when
we had a really strong tantricconnection, my manifesting was
on fire, like, even though therelationship wasn't that great,
(22:27):
the manifesting was amazing.
Like I could think about moneyand it would just show up.
So I want to ask you, like, ifyou're in a relationship, if you
are coupled and you're reallyblocked from each other, what
would it take for you two tolike reactivate the tantra
between you?
And if you are really blockedthere, there's a lot of ways to
(22:52):
reactivate it, but you have towant to.
You really have to decide thatthat's what you want.
And if it's not, then why areyou there Really?
Why Really think about it?
That's a serious question.
Why Really think about it?
That's a serious questionbecause we should have passion
(23:13):
in our relationships.
It's fun, like it's what getspeople through the crap times.
Passion and play and creativity, like sovereign unity that's
what gets people through thehard times.
And if you're with someonewho's not willing to meet you
there.
Why are you compromising?
What are you getting out of it?
Are you afraid of your ownpower?
(23:35):
Are you afraid of change?
What is it?
And I know that's a hardquestion because I really had to
ask myself that when I've leftrelationships before.
And I remember one relationshipI was in and there was zero
tantric energy connection, likezero, and I picked it on purpose
because I was afraid of my ownsexual energy.
(23:58):
I was afraid of it likecontrolling my, my
decision-making, instead of likelearning how to embody it and
embrace it and how to use itlike a superpower.
So that's my question for youtonight, and I hope you enjoyed
listening to this episodebecause I really didn't want to
record it because I thought itwas kind of an embarrassing
(24:20):
topic to talk about, butactually I talk about it all of
the time.
It's one of the things I talkmostly about with my clients,
like you know.
Are you having fun, fun?
And if the answer is no, I'mlike why, let's work on that
first.
So that's what I'm going toleave you with tonight.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Soma Flow podcast.
(24:43):
My name is Tabitha McDonald andI hope to see you again.
Hope this did not scare you offand I hope it got you thinking
a little bit about what youmight be missing out on.
Have a great night, bye.
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