October 9, 2024 • 42 mins
Have you ever noticed that the more you focus on something—whether it’s a challenge, a fear, or a goal—the bigger it seems to get? That’s because where your focus goes, your energy flows. This simple concept highlights the importance of directing your thoughts toward solutions rather than dwelling on past problems. By focusing on what you want to achieve, you align your energy and actions to manifest those desires, rather than staying stuck in old patterns. But how can we make this shift? Let’s explore why it’s important to focus on the end result and how to train your mind to stay solution-oriented.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Last week no, it was two weeks ago now I went to the
gym for the first time in likenine months.
My friend had just gotten homefrom her trip throughout Europe
and she's like, let's gotomorrow, we can start working
out together.
And I was like, oh, you know,it is time, it's time for me to
(00:22):
go back to the gym.
I have not gone, and so Ithought this is just great, I'm
excited, I'll go on my way towork.
I had a long, you know, plannedday of massage the rest of the
day and I thought, oh, this isgoing to be a great way to start
my day.
And so I got to the gym and Ilooked at this sign that says
(00:44):
don't leave valuables in yourcar, and then I dismissed it and
I put my purse in the back seat.
I had a lot of stuff with mebecause I always had to twerk
and I have a lot of things thatI have to take to work.
So I put it in the back seatbecause I thought, okay, great,
well, that'll hide it.
So I'm inside of the gym and Iam in this class and my watch
(01:07):
keeps going off, and I have avery dedicated practice to
presence and not beingdistracted by outside things
when I'm doing something,because that used to be a really
big challenge for me.
So I'm at the gym and I'm likein this workout class I'm really
excited to be back and my watchis going off nonstop fraud
alert, fraud alert, fraud alert.
(01:28):
And I thought at some point youhave to be not present and pay
attention to the alerts.
So I picked up my phone and Ilooked at my friend and I said
something's going on.
I think I have to go homebefore I go to work.
Can you clean up my station?
Because we were doing a class.
And she said, of course, go, go, go.
(01:49):
And as I'm walking down thestairs, the lady from the front
desk stops me and says are you,tabitha?
The police are here and I don'tknow why.
I always think I'm about to bearrested because I've never done
anything wrong.
But I was like oh no, what haveI done?
And then she just said your carwas broken into and I thought,
no, I just don't have time forthis.
(02:11):
Today have you ever thoughtthat Like I just don't have time
for this?
And that's like that feelingstarted becoming so overwhelming
in my body.
I literally just kept saying Idon't have time for this right
now.
I just got my life back ontrack and I'm feeling in flow
(02:32):
and I'm excited to be back atthe gym, and I've had to
overcome a lot of trials in thelast several years, but not this
.
I was like, just not this.
And there it was.
I got outside, the cop greetedme with a why'd you leave your
purse on the back seat?
And I was just like, oh my gosh, please do not shame me right
(02:52):
now.
I can't handle it.
Maybe that was a stupiddecision, but please don't shame
me right now.
And it was too late becauseonce the shame took over, I
could not stop crying and Iremember just walking out there
and seeing the broken window andall I could think about was I
don't have time for this rightnow.
(03:13):
And I started swelling.
I mean, my face swelled up,tears started pouring down my
face and I just went into totaldespair.
And it was so awful because Ididn't know what to do.
And all of a sudden my phonestarted pinging where all of
these credit cards of mine anddebit cards were being used, and
(03:38):
I couldn't get my phone openbecause my face was so swollen
and it wouldn't recognize it andI literally did not know what
to do.
So I called my friend who wasinside of the gym and I just
said I need help, like I'mlosing it, and I don't know if
(03:59):
you've ever had one of thosedays where it's just like I just
don't have time for this.
And it took over.
Like once, the shame took overof knowing that it was, you know
, my fault.
I left my purse on the backseat and they ignored the sign
in the window.
I should have listened to it,but, like once that shame took
hold, I couldn't make decisions.
My brain just started in thischaotic form.
(04:24):
I couldn't see anything, Icouldn't make sense of anything
and I just was seeing thesethieves use my cards, my
hard-earned money, while theywent on a shopping spree, and I
couldn't do anything to stopthem.
And I couldn't even get into myaccounts because at that moment
, when you're in a state oftrauma, like you don't remember
(04:46):
things.
I couldn't remember my password, I couldn't remember how to get
into my phone, Like everythingjust went blank, like I just I
couldn't think.
And that's not how I used to bein trauma.
I would be able to, like shutoff completely and just focus on
what needed to be done and Iwould store it up for later.
(05:07):
But ever since I kind oflearned how to start feeling my
feelings in the moment insteadof storing them for later, I
couldn't just shut them off.
And I don't know what it wasabout that day that made it
bigger than the other things,because I've gone through some
horrible things and I've beenable to, like, maintain a lot of
(05:27):
clarity, but that one, for somereason, really got to me and I
could not focus.
And that's what I want to talkto you today about is the power
of focus.
Have you ever noticed that themore you focus on something,
whether it's a challenge, a fearor a goal, the bigger it seems
(05:50):
to get?
That's because where your focusgoes, your energy flows.
This simple concept highlightsthe importance of directing your
thoughts toward solutionsrather than dwelling on past
problems.
By focusing on what you want toachieve, you align your energy
and actions to manifest thosedesires rather than staying
stuck in old patterns.
(06:12):
But how can we make this shift?
Like I'm sitting there intrauma and I can't make the
shift into just creating thesolution, because the pain of it
was too big in that moment.
And I think that's important torecognize because as soon as I
recognized the pain was too bigfor me to shift it, I called my
(06:37):
friend.
She came downstairs and I waslike, just call my clients and
tell them I'm not coming in andasking for help.
It was really interestingbecause in the very act of
asking for help my mind startedto clear up, because she just
looked at me and said I got you.
What else do you need?
(06:58):
And I was like I really don'teven know what I need.
I need my face to not beswollen so that I can get into
my credit cards to stop thesepeople from spending all my
money.
And she just said I'll takecare of your clients.
You get in your phone.
And so I just refocused my mindto the next obvious action step
and I actually took a deepbreath in and I said hi yourself
(07:19):
, can you come in and take over?
And this is a new practice thatI have started, especially when
I'm in one of those really baddays.
I don't have them as often as Iused to, but now, when you know
your car is broken into and yousee, like this, just nightmare
unfolding in front of you andthe violation of people stealing
(07:43):
from you when you work hard.
You know, like I think, a lotof people I know work really
hard for what they have.
I know I work really hard forwhat I have, and to watch people
just steal it and not have anyregard for me being a single mom
and a business owner andsomebody who genuinely devotes
(08:03):
their life to helping others getout of pain, I just felt
victimized in a way I haven'tfelt in a long time, and I felt
like they had taken my poweraway that day, in that moment.
So I just asked my higher selfto come in and I said just help,
I need help today.
(08:24):
And that was really the firststep for me getting focused back
, because then, all of a sudden,I could remember how to get
into my cards and it was likejust one at a time, just one at
a time, just go in and lock oneat a time and whatever cards you
can't find, just move any cashout of the account so that they
can't access it.
(08:44):
When I was focusing on theproblem of these people who had
stolen from me, all I couldthink about was being victimized
and the pain of it, and thepain of not only that time
people had stolen from me, butevery time it was like I was
reliving when I hired this guyand he embezzled $25,000 from my
(09:09):
business, and the last time Ihad a student intern in and she
ran off with a ton of oursupplies to go start her own
business.
I have had an issue withtrusting the wrong people in my
life, and part of that comesfrom being raised in a very
(09:31):
dysfunctional home and they'reold patterns and so I didn't
want to sit in a victim mindsetthat day.
I was like I want to focus onthe solution, because if I kept
focusing on why does this alwayshappen to me, why does bad
stuff always happen to me when Itry to do so much good in the
(09:53):
world, it would have justdrained my energy and they would
have won, to be honest, thosepeople who stole my purse out of
my car at 8.45 in the morningon a beautiful sunny Sunday,
september 22nd 2024, by the way,in case you see, or saw a gold
(10:14):
Lexus with two women in it nearTualatin, oregon.
But anyways, that's neitherhere nor there.
So I just want to think about aproblem that you have, or a
moment when you felt like youwere just trapped, like your
face was puffy, you didn't havea choice over your reaction and
you just felt completely trapped.
(10:34):
This doesn't have to be big.
It could be small, like maybebeing pinned in a conversation
that you don't want to have, orhaving somebody at work take
away your power or create chaos,for you Could be in a
relationship.
Maybe somebody is not listeningto you, or maybe it's on your
personal growth journey, Because, honestly, this is where I buck
(10:57):
up against this the most.
It's right at the point whenI'm about to grow and transform.
My resistance gets the greatest,and that's why focusing on
where I'm going during thosemoments is the most important
thing, regardless of how I'mfeeling, and I just want to
share that with you, becausethere's a lot of research around
(11:20):
focusing on the end results andfocusing on solutions and the
value and importance of that,and I think sometimes we think
we have to be in a positiveemotional state to do that.
That helps.
However, focusing on how youwant things to end up is a way
(11:42):
of getting back to a positivestate.
Like I don't want to sit therewhile my car is broken into and
people are spending all of mymoney and feel good about it
Like I don't want to feel goodabout that experience.
In the moment, I could not haveswitched to been like oh, this
is all great, this is happeningfor me.
There is a place and time foris happening for me.
(12:05):
There is a place and time foremotions that we label negative.
And in that moment I felt angry,I felt devastated, I felt
afraid of the amount of work itwas going to take for me to get
my identity back, because theyalso had my passport and my ID
(12:26):
in it and I just keptsurrendering to my higher self
and said, okay, what's the nextstep?
What's the next step?
It didn't have to feel good forme to be able to listen to my
intuition and to focus on thenext step.
I just had to do it, myintuition and to focus on the
(12:48):
next step.
I just had to do it.
And I think that's wheresometimes we get intuition.
Wrong is we think that we haveto feel good about the next step
and we don't.
We just have to focus on thesolution and ask our higher self
to come in and guide us.
Now, if it's day to day andwe're focusing on negative
emotions all of the time, it cannarrow our focus, kind of like
(13:10):
when I couldn't open my phone.
I couldn't remember how to openit in that moment because my
focus was so narrowed to thepain, and then I was just
focusing on the problem.
I couldn't even come up with asolution on how to open my phone
.
I couldn't think about otherways of getting in because my
focus was so, so hyper aware ofthis panicky feeling of being
(13:36):
violated.
So that's why it's essential,especially in those moments, to
actively direct your focustowards positive outcomes and
solutions and to ask for help.
So let's think about, like maybe, a real world example, not one
where you know your morning isruined by a couple of meth heads
(13:57):
.
But think about it like thisYou've been given a challenging
project at work and, instead offocusing on the stress, you
start thinking about the endresult completing the project
successfully.
As soon as your focus shifts tothe desired outcome, your
energy changes.
You begin thinking creatively,looking for resources and
(14:18):
feeling more empowered to takeaction.
In contrast, if you only thinkabout the difficulties you'll
face during the project, you'remore likely to feel anxious and
stuck.
So I want you to think aboutsomething, maybe that you
haven't been following throughwith, or a problem in your life,
and just notice, maybe, howmuch mental energy you've been
(14:41):
using up on that instead of justcoming up with a solution.
Now, how do we actuallyredirect our focus?
Because that is much easiersaid than done.
Like in that moment I had thehardest time redirecting my mind
away from the actual problem athand.
It's not always easy,especially when it's something
(15:05):
that's really triggering or verypersonal, and for me it wasn't
that.
I was just experiencing thatone thing.
I was experiencing all of thetimes people had stolen from me
and I felt like disempowered orvictimized at the same time.
Now I've done a lot of work onmy healing journey and I have
(15:27):
really, really unpacked a lot ofthe unprocessed trauma that I
had from younger in life.
But there was still some stuffthat needed to come up to be
healed and it wouldn't have comeup had that experience not
happened.
It probably would still beimpacting my unconscious
programming and I mean in thatway, I guess I'm a little bit
(15:50):
grateful that it helped me cleanout the back of my closet,
which is what I call myunconscious stuff, my baggage.
So I want you to just thinkabout how to redirect your mind
and your focus when you're in aproblem.
Maybe it's that, like you're inan argument with somebody,
(16:11):
you're having a financialproblem, or maybe it's like your
kids are not behaving orsomething's not going right in
your business.
Maybe you just got out of areally intense relationship and
you're working through aheartbreak.
Just think about something thatyou might be struggling with
(16:32):
right now and we want to reframeit for a moment.
And it's not reframing it sothat we can deny that it's a
problem.
We need to reframe it to keepyou out of the problem, because
the problem can't be solved inthe container that it was
created.
So the first thing we want to dois work with awareness.
(16:54):
When your mind is focused onthe problem, what are you doing?
Are you scrambling?
Are you thinking racingthoughts?
Is your anxiety coming up?
Are your feelings taking overyour ability to make decisions
in alignment with your future?
Are you dwelling on what wentwrong or are you brainstorming
(17:17):
ways to make things right?
Probably one of the mostpowerful tools is reframing.
So, instead of asking why didthis happen to me?
You ask yourself what can I doto improve the situation?
As soon as you change thequestion to what can I do or
(17:40):
what will it take, who can Icall for help.
Then, all of a sudden, yourunconscious mind has a new
direction and it can startgiving you really creative
solutions to old problems.
So solution-oriented questionsmove your mind into a more
(18:00):
active state of problem solving.
I don't even like to call itproblem solving.
I like to call it solutioncreation, because that is where
intuition comes in.
It's just in the solutions.
So if you're asking, why doesthis keep happening to me?
Your unconscious mind hears Iwant this to keep happening to
(18:22):
me.
When you decide how you want itto be, then a completely
different experience can becreated.
So one of the things that I didwas I just closed my eyes and I
thought what do you really want?
I want to make sure that theydon't have access to any more of
my finances.
(18:42):
And then I just quieted my mind, cleared it for a moment, and
then I remembered there wasanother card in there that I had
forgotten about and I saw apicture of it, and so I
immediately went in to that bankaccount and closed the card and
, lo and behold, that was theone that they were joyriding
around Gladstone with.
So I'm so grateful that I wasable to clear my mind and ask
(19:07):
for higher guidance, because Ieasily was able to identify
where the problem was and I hadcompletely forgotten about it.
The other thing that we want todo is visualization.
So we want to visualize thedesired outcome.
So think about a problem thatyou're having and then think
(19:28):
about a different outcome.
What would it take to createthe outcome that you actually
want?
Now, if this is includinganother human being, a lot of
the time we might say somethinglike well, I just want them to
stop drinking.
I know that's what I used tosay about my ex-husband all of
the time, which was, oh, my lifewould be great if he would just
stop drinking.
You can't make someone dosomething.
(19:50):
So when you think about the endresult or how you would like
something to be, think about howyou want to feel in your life.
So if you're having a conflictwith your spouse like maybe you
have a spouse who has a drinkingproblem how do you want to feel
in your marriage?
Do you want to feel safe?
(20:10):
Do you want to feel empowered?
Do you want to feel like youknow what to do, clear-headed,
like?
I remember when I had amarriage to someone with a
active alcoholic issue.
I never felt clear-headed.
I felt confused all of the time.
I did not know what to do, likeI felt like nothing made sense
(20:32):
and it was just absolute chaos.
It was really hard to makedecisions in that space, so I
had to start thinking well, whatdo you really want in a
marriage?
I want to feel safe, I want tofeel in control of my
surroundings, I want to feelempowered, I want to feel joyful
and I want to feel happy and Iwant to feel empowered.
(20:53):
I want to feel joyful and Iwant to feel happy and I want to
feel free.
I mean, really it was I justwant to feel happy and free to
be happy, instead of alwaysworrying about what other people
were doing in my house.
So it was in those moments ofdeciding how I wanted things to
be that my intuition came in soclear with the obvious next
(21:15):
action step.
And so the other thing that youwant to do is start thinking
about this problem, and then Iwant you to cross it out and
pretend like the problem isn'tthere and just write a solution.
If that problem didn't exist inyour life, what would it look
like?
So, if you're having afinancial struggle right now,
(21:35):
maybe you have a lot of debt oryou just got laid off.
You can write down and just sayI feel despair on my financial
situation and then cross it outand write down how you would
like it to be.
Would like to feel financiallyabundant and successful.
Would like to have morefinancial freedom.
(21:56):
Maybe you want to have passiveincome.
Think about what you would likeand allow yourself to really
start playing in the world ofvisualizing new opportunities
that maybe you hadn't thought ofbefore.
I really like to use automaticwriting for this.
We're all just write down mychoice.
(22:16):
I choose financial freedom andthen I just get quiet and I use
automatic writing.
If you've never tried it, it'sin my new Somal Flow Healing
Library.
I did a hypnosis session sothat you could tap into the part
of your brain that knows how todo automatic writing.
It's really cool.
But then I also just want tobring up the gratitude, because
(22:37):
gratitude helps shift your focusfrom lack to abundance.
In that moment when my car wasbroken into, I was in a scarcity
mindset and it was a timescarcity.
Scarcity isn't just about money.
It can affect our relationshipto time as well, and I had a
full day of clients that I wasreally looking forward to seeing
(22:58):
that day.
So it wasn't just about theincome loss.
It was also about the loss ofgetting to spend time doing what
I love, and instead I had tospend time doing what I didn't
love, which was going throughthe whole process with the
police.
So gratitude.
(23:20):
What I started to do was focusedon what went well.
My laptop bag was sitting rightnext to my purse and I thought,
oh my God, I am so gratefulthey didn't get my laptop,
because that would havedestroyed me, that had my
business on it.
I'm so grateful they didn't getmy laptop and I'm so grateful
(23:41):
that I have, you know, adaughter who has a debit card
and I can just transfer money toher right now so I can get
around.
And then I have this beautifulfriend who's like standing with
me in my absolute nightmarishstate and holding space for me,
and not like shaming me orsaying, wow, why did you leave
(24:01):
your purse on the backseat, butjust like holding space and
supporting me in a way that wasso beautiful and so kind.
I was so grateful in thatmoment to have those gifts,
because bad things happen to allof us, but there's always a
moment of beauty in the chaosand we've got to hold on to the
(24:24):
beauty in the moment ofstrangers helping people.
Or there was a nice man thatwalked by and he said oh, those
thieves got into my locker lastweek and they broke into my
fully secured locker, took twoof my credit cards out of my
wallet and then replacedeverything else.
(24:44):
So I had no idea they hadgotten them and they took
$12,000 out of my credit cardsand I was like, oh wow, I'm
super grateful that I don't havethat to clean up.
At least I knew they broke inand it wasn't hidden from me.
And then I want to think aboutwhen you're dealing with
(25:08):
something that big, one of thethings that helped that when I
tapped into intuition, it wasone step at a time, it was
breaking it down, focusing on asmall thing.
I could do just one thing andjust like one card checking it
off the list and one bankaccount calling them and
checking it off the list, andyou know, one bank account
(25:29):
calling them and checking it offthe list, and then one other
thing, and then just one otherthing, instead of feeling the
enormity of it at all at onetime and that is what I asked my
higher self to do.
I'm like, just tell me the nextobvious action step, just the
next one.
And it became so much moremanageable because every time I
took action I started feeling mypower coming back.
(25:50):
I felt more empowered again,and that was a lesson for me on
many levels.
One I don't really like askingfor help, and sometimes I forget
to ask for help, and I think alot of us do, especially because
(26:10):
I'm a single mom.
I'm used to doing everything.
I have my own business.
I'm used to doing everything,and I've had a lot of problems
with hiring people Probably myown fault, but also a little bit
of problems in the industrythat I work in right now, but
also maybe not using myintuition enough in the hiring
(26:34):
process.
I can take full accountabilityfor my role in that, and so when
I think about those things,it's like breaking things down
into one step at a time, and ifany of you are dealing with like
big traumas or little traumasor anything in between, breaking
(26:55):
it down into one small thing ata time is probably the best
thing that you can do, becauseif you try to eat the whole pie
at once, it just makes you sickand you can't do it, so you've
got to just take one little biteat a time.
I want to mention one more thingabout gratitude.
It changes your chemical makeupin your body.
(27:18):
Sometimes, when we're in areally heightened emotional
state, it changes the way we seethe world.
It changes the chemistry in ourbody and so if you have despair
, which is a hormone runningthrough your body, then that's
going to create more despair.
So being able to interject aheavy dose of gratitude is
(27:44):
actually going to change thechemical makeup of your body and
allow you to respond in a muchdifferent way.
So we're not just talking aboutstepping into gratitude from
the perspective of, you know,shifting your emotional like
state, like oh, feel positive,or you know, it's not that what
it is is.
It's changing the way yourbrain chemistry is, so that you
(28:07):
can think more clearly and youcan tap into your intuition.
Fear blocks intuition.
Fear will always blockintuition.
Fear activates your old stories, your unconscious agenda.
It activates worry and anxiety.
None of those things helpcreate solutions.
(28:29):
They only help create more ofthe same problem.
So it's really important, evenin the thick of like something
bad, that you just shift yourmind a little bit and if you
can't get fully into gratitude.
You can just shift into askingquestions.
What would it take to make thissituation a little bit better
(28:50):
right now?
What would it take to make thissituation a little bit more in
my favor right now?
What would it take and justkeep asking yourself that
question, what would it take?
And that question alone isgoing to start shifting your
mind out of fight or flight andback into the more empowered,
(29:10):
problem-solving state.
So you might have a lot ofquestions about this.
I know I still have a lot ofquestions about this, because
I'm human and I still strugglewith keeping my mind focused on
where I'm going without likesuppressing and repressing
emotions and storing them up forlater in life.
I have a hard time alsoexperiencing the feelings that
(29:34):
I'm having and also stayingfocused on the end result
Because, like I said before, thecloser I get to having my
breakthrough, the moreresistance and the more fear
that comes up that I have towork through.
Ah, not have to.
Actually, I'm going to changethat and say that I choose to
Because I don't have to workthrough anything.
(29:54):
I could absolutely choose notto.
So I want to ask you how do youstop your mind from going back
to old problems.
So our minds love focusing onwhat they already know how to
solve.
They love it.
They love going back tofamiliar patterns, familiar
problems.
So, if you're like, why do Ifeel like my life is in
Groundhog's Day?
Why is it that I'm reliving thesame thing over and over again,
(30:19):
as crazy as it sounds?
It's because your brain knowshow to solve that problem.
So it's like.
I like solving problems.
I'm going to create the sameones that I know so that I can
keep feeling successful at it.
And this is where the magicreally needs to come into your
life.
Because if you notice thesepatterns underneath the radar,
(30:43):
then this is like whereawareness is really going to
help you out, because once younotice your mind drifting to the
past, gently redirect it byfocusing on the next small
action step towards your goal.
Practicing mindfulness ormeditation can also help reduce
these mental habits over time.
In fact, I just put up mymorning magic manifestation
(31:08):
meditation for the guess whatMornings that's on my YouTube
channel.
Now I'll put a link down below.
And isn't it important to learnfrom the past?
Absolutely Guess where I neverleave my purse?
Now, on the back seat.
I have now cleared out mybackpack, which is like I have a
hatchback.
(31:28):
I cleared it out because it wasfull of laundry before.
Like I said, I own a massageclinic and I thought, oh, it's
not a big deal, we don't havethat high of a crime rate.
I live in a great area, turnsout, people who live in not the
great area come in and like totake things from people who live
there.
So where you live doesn'treally matter.
(31:49):
Crime happens everywhere.
And the truth is, when I metwith my coach, she said you
still have to takeresponsibility for leaving your
purse on the back seat.
Yes, maybe you did itinnocently and you weren't
thinking about it, but that'syour part of the equation here,
and it was hard for me toswallow that, because I used to
(32:12):
be someone who rewrote otherpeople's bad behavior into a
positive on the fly, to thepoint where I could never spot
red flags.
So, consequence of growing upwith an alcoholic in the home, I
had to make like really badbehavior positive very quickly,
and so if you find yourselfdoing it, there's a very
(32:34):
legitimate reason why thathappens.
But that means we have to beeven more diligent with spotting
red flags and being aware ofthings, especially people who
have bad intentions.
So it's really important thatwe learn from these lessons from
the past and apply them to ourfuture focus.
(32:59):
So I promise you, my purse willnot be on my backseat ever
again.
In fact, I find it now a painthat I even have to think about
it, because I never used to haveto think about it before,
unless I was driving throughCalifornia, and then I was
always very diligent about it,and so part of me just didn't
want to recognize the state ofOregon's current crime rate.
Like I didn't want to reallyadmit how bad it had gotten here
(33:22):
and I wasn't really willing toacknowledge and accept that as a
truth and the fact that thatwas my part of it and I think
that really helped me just belike yes, you feel safe in the
world now.
You did a lot of work to feelsafe in the world.
However, there are still peoplewho have trauma and they are
(33:45):
inflicting their trauma onothers by stealing their stuff.
So we still live in a worldwhere that happens and I'm not
safe from that and that has tobe acknowledged.
And okay, that makes me notwhat is the right word I don't
want to say innocent, because Ilike that makes me not ignorant
(34:08):
to the state of the world andthat feels more empowered to me.
I used to think that that wouldmake me feel less empowered, but
actually, if, now that I'msaying it out loud, that makes
me feel more empowered to justaccept the way that the world is
, instead of thinking that itneeds to be anything different
than it currently is, needs tobe anything different than it
currently is.
(34:28):
So what if you can't think of asolution, like I was in that
state where I could not come upwith a solution right.
Like my brain was like I can'tdo this, calling a friend,
asking for help.
That's where you find someonethat you trust and they can help
you come up with a solution.
Most of the time, we have theanswer within us to any problem
(34:53):
that we have.
Our higher self already has theanswer, but our ego is so
creative and so crafty and sovery hell-bent on not changing
that it will find all kinds ofways to distract you from your
end result.
Having a coach, a friend, amentor, somebody who keeps you
(35:14):
focused, is a game changer.
I was so grateful that I had acoach who didn't mind calling me
out on my part, because thattakes some balls.
I'm not going to lie.
That takes some courage to belike well, what was your role in
it?
And I was like I just gotrobbed.
(35:34):
What do you mean?
What was my role in it?
And it was a conversation thatI needed to have.
There were some things that Ihadn't been taking
responsibility for in my life,and that was just one of them.
And it was a very big shift forme in being able to take
accountability for my currentstuff and not blaming it on some
(36:00):
of the old traumas that hadhappened in my life.
There was quite a few thingsthat I was like but it wasn't my
fault, like that happened to me.
And it was like, yeah, eventhough that stuff happened to me
, I now have to clean up themess because nobody else is
going to do it.
Like I'm not going to expect,you know, the burglars to come
back and clean up the glass,right, they're not going to do
that because they don't care.
(36:23):
How long does it take to retrainsomeone's mind?
That's a great question and Iwould say it depends on your
level of commitment andawareness.
It takes a tremendous amount ofconsistency.
I do this every day.
I mean it is an active dailyprocess for me, and it's not
(36:46):
like redirecting my mind is away of getting out of my
emotional state, because I alsobelieve in a very, very high
level of emotional intelligence,which means I really take time
to go.
How am I actually feeling andwhat are the results in my life
that might be telling me how I'mreally feeling, not how I think
I should be feeling, and thenwhat's in the way of it and what
(37:10):
do I need to do to remove thoseblocks and barriers so I can
keep going forward?
Now the recode to me isprobably one of the most
powerful tools I've learned inthe last several years about
removing those blocks, and itdoes take away the denseness and
the heaviness of the oldunconscious patterns.
But there's a certain amount ofheavy lifting that we have to
(37:30):
do ourselves, and that's habitchange right, like looking at
the future every morning.
I redirect my mind everymorning to what I'm focusing on
creating.
Even when things aren't workingout and it all seems like it's
falling apart, I'm still focusedon where I'm going and
constantly redirecting my mind,asking for help from others and
(37:54):
using my intuition more and moreand more to help guide me to
the best possible outcome formyself.
So I hope you learned somethingtoday, if you did drop me a
comment.
I was really struggling with howto take the future of my
podcast in alignment with thechanges I've made, because, as I
(38:19):
was really talking aboutrelationships a lot, I realized
that I wanted to talk about somuch more than just romantic
relationships.
I wanted to talk about myjourney with spirituality and
intuition, my mind-body healingmodalities and how powerful it
is when we engage the mind andthe body in the same process of
(38:40):
healing and how much faster wecan let go of our baggage than
you thought possible.
So I've changed the directionof the podcast to Soma Flow than
you thought possible.
So I've changed the directionof the podcast to Soma Flow,
which feels so much more alignedto me.
It definitely came throughdivine download the other day
while I was massaging someone,which is usually when I get the
best downloads, and I want tooffer that this is where I'm
(39:02):
taking the podcast.
I'm super excited about it, I'mexcited for you to be here and
I'm also excited to hear whatyou guys want to hear about.
Because here's the thing when Ifirst started getting into
intuition, I didn't know what Ididn't know.
So I'm just going to startsharing all of the things that I
didn't know.
I didn't know until I knew them, and I hope you enjoy the
(39:23):
journey, because I have afeeling a pretty strong one,
that a lot more people are goingto be getting spiritual bitch
slaps and they're going to beasked to step into their higher
calling and purpose a little bitmore aggressively than they
used to.
I feel like that's kind of whathappened to me.
I'm going to do a whole anotherepisode on that, but if you're
(39:47):
going through that divine stormin your life where you feel like
everything's falling apart, letme know what will help you, and
if you don't know what you needto know, drop me a comment,
because I'm pretty sure I couldhelp you, because when I was in
the thick of it, I remember justfeeling this sense of absolute
(40:10):
chaos in my life and lookingback, I can see now that it was
my higher self breaking throughand she was like you were meant
for so much more than this.
And I am stepping in and I'mgoing to throw some boulders at
you until you listen.
I was like free will my ass.
And then I found the journalentry where I gave her
(40:32):
permission.
So there's that.
Anyways, I hope you have a greatday and I hope that you take
this opportunity to focus onwhat you want to create, because
I want you to remember whereyour focus goes, your energy
flows and you want to reallyfocus your energy on the outcome
of what you want, not how youdon't want things to be, but
(40:54):
think about solutions.
Harness your energy to createthe life that you want.
Focus on the result, visualizeit happening now and take small
steps every day.
It's not a big climb up amountain, it's one small step
every day.
That's how intuition willawaken in your life.
(41:16):
It'll be fun and a joyfulunfolding of figuring out who
you really are outside of thishuman meat suit, and I promise
you it is so much more beautifuland expansive than you
previously thought, and you arecapable of some pretty cool
magic when your ego gets to turndown and your higher self comes
(41:40):
in.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me and I look
forward to connecting with youagain soon.
Last week no, it was two weeks ago now I went to the
gym for the first time in likenine months.
My friend had just gotten homefrom her trip throughout Europe
and she's like, let's gotomorrow, we can start working
out together.
And I was like, oh, you know,it is time, it's time for me to
(00:22):
go back to the gym.
I have not gone, and so Ithought this is just great, I'm
excited, I'll go on my way towork.
I had a long, you know, plannedday of massage the rest of the
day and I thought, oh, this isgoing to be a great way to start
my day.
And so I got to the gym and Ilooked at this sign that says
(00:44):
don't leave valuables in yourcar, and then I dismissed it and
I put my purse in the back seat.
I had a lot of stuff with mebecause I always had to twerk
and I have a lot of things thatI have to take to work.
So I put it in the back seatbecause I thought, okay, great,
well, that'll hide it.
So I'm inside of the gym and Iam in this class and my watch
(01:07):
keeps going off, and I have avery dedicated practice to
presence and not beingdistracted by outside things
when I'm doing something,because that used to be a really
big challenge for me.
So I'm at the gym and I'm likein this workout class I'm really
excited to be back and my watchis going off nonstop fraud
alert, fraud alert, fraud alert.
(01:28):
And I thought at some point youhave to be not present and pay
attention to the alerts.
So I picked up my phone and Ilooked at my friend and I said
something's going on.
I think I have to go homebefore I go to work.
Can you clean up my station?
Because we were doing a class.
And she said, of course, go, go, go.
(01:49):
And as I'm walking down thestairs, the lady from the front
desk stops me and says are you,tabitha?
The police are here and I don'tknow why.
I always think I'm about to bearrested because I've never done
anything wrong.
But I was like oh no, what haveI done?
And then she just said your carwas broken into and I thought,
no, I just don't have time forthis.
(02:11):
Today have you ever thoughtthat Like I just don't have time
for this?
And that's like that feelingstarted becoming so overwhelming
in my body.
I literally just kept saying Idon't have time for this right
now.
I just got my life back ontrack and I'm feeling in flow
(02:32):
and I'm excited to be back atthe gym, and I've had to
overcome a lot of trials in thelast several years, but not this
.
I was like, just not this.
And there it was.
I got outside, the cop greetedme with a why'd you leave your
purse on the back seat?
And I was just like, oh my gosh, please do not shame me right
(02:52):
now.
I can't handle it.
Maybe that was a stupiddecision, but please don't shame
me right now.
And it was too late becauseonce the shame took over, I
could not stop crying and Iremember just walking out there
and seeing the broken window andall I could think about was I
don't have time for this rightnow.
(03:13):
And I started swelling.
I mean, my face swelled up,tears started pouring down my
face and I just went into totaldespair.
And it was so awful because Ididn't know what to do.
And all of a sudden my phonestarted pinging where all of
these credit cards of mine anddebit cards were being used, and
(03:38):
I couldn't get my phone openbecause my face was so swollen
and it wouldn't recognize it andI literally did not know what
to do.
So I called my friend who wasinside of the gym and I just
said I need help, like I'mlosing it, and I don't know if
(03:59):
you've ever had one of thosedays where it's just like I just
don't have time for this.
And it took over.
Like once, the shame took overof knowing that it was, you know
, my fault.
I left my purse on the backseat and they ignored the sign
in the window.
I should have listened to it,but, like once that shame took
hold, I couldn't make decisions.
My brain just started in thischaotic form.
(04:24):
I couldn't see anything, Icouldn't make sense of anything
and I just was seeing thesethieves use my cards, my
hard-earned money, while theywent on a shopping spree, and I
couldn't do anything to stopthem.
And I couldn't even get into myaccounts because at that moment
, when you're in a state oftrauma, like you don't remember
(04:46):
things.
I couldn't remember my password, I couldn't remember how to get
into my phone, Like everythingjust went blank, like I just I
couldn't think.
And that's not how I used to bein trauma.
I would be able to, like shutoff completely and just focus on
what needed to be done and Iwould store it up for later.
(05:07):
But ever since I kind oflearned how to start feeling my
feelings in the moment insteadof storing them for later, I
couldn't just shut them off.
And I don't know what it wasabout that day that made it
bigger than the other things,because I've gone through some
horrible things and I've beenable to, like, maintain a lot of
(05:27):
clarity, but that one, for somereason, really got to me and I
could not focus.
And that's what I want to talkto you today about is the power
of focus.
Have you ever noticed that themore you focus on something,
whether it's a challenge, a fearor a goal, the bigger it seems
(05:50):
to get?
That's because where your focusgoes, your energy flows.
This simple concept highlightsthe importance of directing your
thoughts toward solutionsrather than dwelling on past
problems.
By focusing on what you want toachieve, you align your energy
and actions to manifest thosedesires rather than staying
stuck in old patterns.
(06:12):
But how can we make this shift?
Like I'm sitting there intrauma and I can't make the
shift into just creating thesolution, because the pain of it
was too big in that moment.
And I think that's important torecognize because as soon as I
recognized the pain was too bigfor me to shift it, I called my
(06:37):
friend.
She came downstairs and I waslike, just call my clients and
tell them I'm not coming in andasking for help.
It was really interestingbecause in the very act of
asking for help my mind startedto clear up, because she just
looked at me and said I got you.
What else do you need?
(06:58):
And I was like I really don'teven know what I need.
I need my face to not beswollen so that I can get into
my credit cards to stop thesepeople from spending all my
money.
And she just said I'll takecare of your clients.
You get in your phone.
And so I just refocused my mindto the next obvious action step
and I actually took a deepbreath in and I said hi yourself
(07:19):
, can you come in and take over?
And this is a new practice thatI have started, especially when
I'm in one of those really baddays.
I don't have them as often as Iused to, but now, when you know
your car is broken into and yousee, like this, just nightmare
unfolding in front of you andthe violation of people stealing
(07:43):
from you when you work hard.
You know, like I think, a lotof people I know work really
hard for what they have.
I know I work really hard forwhat I have, and to watch people
just steal it and not have anyregard for me being a single mom
and a business owner andsomebody who genuinely devotes
(08:03):
their life to helping others getout of pain, I just felt
victimized in a way I haven'tfelt in a long time, and I felt
like they had taken my poweraway that day, in that moment.
So I just asked my higher selfto come in and I said just help,
I need help today.
(08:24):
And that was really the firststep for me getting focused back
, because then, all of a sudden,I could remember how to get
into my cards and it was likejust one at a time, just one at
a time, just go in and lock oneat a time and whatever cards you
can't find, just move any cashout of the account so that they
can't access it.
(08:44):
When I was focusing on theproblem of these people who had
stolen from me, all I couldthink about was being victimized
and the pain of it, and thepain of not only that time
people had stolen from me, butevery time it was like I was
reliving when I hired this guyand he embezzled $25,000 from my
(09:09):
business, and the last time Ihad a student intern in and she
ran off with a ton of oursupplies to go start her own
business.
I have had an issue withtrusting the wrong people in my
life, and part of that comesfrom being raised in a very
(09:31):
dysfunctional home and they'reold patterns and so I didn't
want to sit in a victim mindsetthat day.
I was like I want to focus onthe solution, because if I kept
focusing on why does this alwayshappen to me, why does bad
stuff always happen to me when Itry to do so much good in the
(09:53):
world, it would have justdrained my energy and they would
have won, to be honest, thosepeople who stole my purse out of
my car at 8.45 in the morningon a beautiful sunny Sunday,
september 22nd 2024, by the way,in case you see, or saw a gold
(10:14):
Lexus with two women in it nearTualatin, oregon.
But anyways, that's neitherhere nor there.
So I just want to think about aproblem that you have, or a
moment when you felt like youwere just trapped, like your
face was puffy, you didn't havea choice over your reaction and
you just felt completely trapped.
(10:34):
This doesn't have to be big.
It could be small, like maybebeing pinned in a conversation
that you don't want to have, orhaving somebody at work take
away your power or create chaos,for you Could be in a
relationship.
Maybe somebody is not listeningto you, or maybe it's on your
personal growth journey, Because, honestly, this is where I buck
(10:57):
up against this the most.
It's right at the point whenI'm about to grow and transform.
My resistance gets the greatest,and that's why focusing on
where I'm going during thosemoments is the most important
thing, regardless of how I'mfeeling, and I just want to
share that with you, becausethere's a lot of research around
(11:20):
focusing on the end results andfocusing on solutions and the
value and importance of that,and I think sometimes we think
we have to be in a positiveemotional state to do that.
That helps.
However, focusing on how youwant things to end up is a way
(11:42):
of getting back to a positivestate.
Like I don't want to sit therewhile my car is broken into and
people are spending all of mymoney and feel good about it
Like I don't want to feel goodabout that experience.
In the moment, I could not haveswitched to been like oh, this
is all great, this is happeningfor me.
There is a place and time foris happening for me.
(12:05):
There is a place and time foremotions that we label negative.
And in that moment I felt angry,I felt devastated, I felt
afraid of the amount of work itwas going to take for me to get
my identity back, because theyalso had my passport and my ID
(12:26):
in it and I just keptsurrendering to my higher self
and said, okay, what's the nextstep?
What's the next step?
It didn't have to feel good forme to be able to listen to my
intuition and to focus on thenext step.
I just had to do it, myintuition and to focus on the
(12:48):
next step.
I just had to do it.
And I think that's wheresometimes we get intuition.
Wrong is we think that we haveto feel good about the next step
and we don't.
We just have to focus on thesolution and ask our higher self
to come in and guide us.
Now, if it's day to day andwe're focusing on negative
emotions all of the time, it cannarrow our focus, kind of like
(13:10):
when I couldn't open my phone.
I couldn't remember how to openit in that moment because my
focus was so narrowed to thepain, and then I was just
focusing on the problem.
I couldn't even come up with asolution on how to open my phone
.
I couldn't think about otherways of getting in because my
focus was so, so hyper aware ofthis panicky feeling of being
(13:36):
violated.
So that's why it's essential,especially in those moments, to
actively direct your focustowards positive outcomes and
solutions and to ask for help.
So let's think about, like maybe, a real world example, not one
where you know your morning isruined by a couple of meth heads
(13:57):
.
But think about it like thisYou've been given a challenging
project at work and, instead offocusing on the stress, you
start thinking about the endresult completing the project
successfully.
As soon as your focus shifts tothe desired outcome, your
energy changes.
You begin thinking creatively,looking for resources and
(14:18):
feeling more empowered to takeaction.
In contrast, if you only thinkabout the difficulties you'll
face during the project, you'remore likely to feel anxious and
stuck.
So I want you to think aboutsomething, maybe that you
haven't been following throughwith, or a problem in your life,
and just notice, maybe, howmuch mental energy you've been
(14:41):
using up on that instead of justcoming up with a solution.
Now, how do we actuallyredirect our focus?
Because that is much easiersaid than done.
Like in that moment I had thehardest time redirecting my mind
away from the actual problem athand.
It's not always easy,especially when it's something
(15:05):
that's really triggering or verypersonal, and for me it wasn't
that.
I was just experiencing thatone thing.
I was experiencing all of thetimes people had stolen from me
and I felt like disempowered orvictimized at the same time.
Now I've done a lot of work onmy healing journey and I have
(15:27):
really, really unpacked a lot ofthe unprocessed trauma that I
had from younger in life.
But there was still some stuffthat needed to come up to be
healed and it wouldn't have comeup had that experience not
happened.
It probably would still beimpacting my unconscious
programming and I mean in thatway, I guess I'm a little bit
(15:50):
grateful that it helped me cleanout the back of my closet,
which is what I call myunconscious stuff, my baggage.
So I want you to just thinkabout how to redirect your mind
and your focus when you're in aproblem.
Maybe it's that, like you're inan argument with somebody,
(16:11):
you're having a financialproblem, or maybe it's like your
kids are not behaving orsomething's not going right in
your business.
Maybe you just got out of areally intense relationship and
you're working through aheartbreak.
Just think about something thatyou might be struggling with
(16:32):
right now and we want to reframeit for a moment.
And it's not reframing it sothat we can deny that it's a
problem.
We need to reframe it to keepyou out of the problem, because
the problem can't be solved inthe container that it was
created.
So the first thing we want to dois work with awareness.
(16:54):
When your mind is focused onthe problem, what are you doing?
Are you scrambling?
Are you thinking racingthoughts?
Is your anxiety coming up?
Are your feelings taking overyour ability to make decisions
in alignment with your future?
Are you dwelling on what wentwrong or are you brainstorming
(17:17):
ways to make things right?
Probably one of the mostpowerful tools is reframing.
So, instead of asking why didthis happen to me?
You ask yourself what can I doto improve the situation?
As soon as you change thequestion to what can I do or
(17:40):
what will it take, who can Icall for help.
Then, all of a sudden, yourunconscious mind has a new
direction and it can startgiving you really creative
solutions to old problems.
So solution-oriented questionsmove your mind into a more
(18:00):
active state of problem solving.
I don't even like to call itproblem solving.
I like to call it solutioncreation, because that is where
intuition comes in.
It's just in the solutions.
So if you're asking, why doesthis keep happening to me?
Your unconscious mind hears Iwant this to keep happening to
(18:22):
me.
When you decide how you want itto be, then a completely
different experience can becreated.
So one of the things that I didwas I just closed my eyes and I
thought what do you really want?
I want to make sure that theydon't have access to any more of
my finances.
(18:42):
And then I just quieted my mind, cleared it for a moment, and
then I remembered there wasanother card in there that I had
forgotten about and I saw apicture of it, and so I
immediately went in to that bankaccount and closed the card and
, lo and behold, that was theone that they were joyriding
around Gladstone with.
So I'm so grateful that I wasable to clear my mind and ask
(19:07):
for higher guidance, because Ieasily was able to identify
where the problem was and I hadcompletely forgotten about it.
The other thing that we want todo is visualization.
So we want to visualize thedesired outcome.
So think about a problem thatyou're having and then think
(19:28):
about a different outcome.
What would it take to createthe outcome that you actually
want?
Now, if this is includinganother human being, a lot of
the time we might say somethinglike well, I just want them to
stop drinking.
I know that's what I used tosay about my ex-husband all of
the time, which was, oh, my lifewould be great if he would just
stop drinking.
You can't make someone dosomething.
(19:50):
So when you think about the endresult or how you would like
something to be, think about howyou want to feel in your life.
So if you're having a conflictwith your spouse like maybe you
have a spouse who has a drinkingproblem how do you want to feel
in your marriage?
Do you want to feel safe?
(20:10):
Do you want to feel empowered?
Do you want to feel like youknow what to do, clear-headed,
like?
I remember when I had amarriage to someone with a
active alcoholic issue.
I never felt clear-headed.
I felt confused all of the time.
I did not know what to do, likeI felt like nothing made sense
(20:32):
and it was just absolute chaos.
It was really hard to makedecisions in that space, so I
had to start thinking well, whatdo you really want in a
marriage?
I want to feel safe, I want tofeel in control of my
surroundings, I want to feelempowered, I want to feel joyful
and I want to feel happy and Iwant to feel empowered.
(20:53):
I want to feel joyful and Iwant to feel happy and I want to
feel free.
I mean, really it was I justwant to feel happy and free to
be happy, instead of alwaysworrying about what other people
were doing in my house.
So it was in those moments ofdeciding how I wanted things to
be that my intuition came in soclear with the obvious next
(21:15):
action step.
And so the other thing that youwant to do is start thinking
about this problem, and then Iwant you to cross it out and
pretend like the problem isn'tthere and just write a solution.
If that problem didn't exist inyour life, what would it look
like?
So, if you're having afinancial struggle right now,
(21:35):
maybe you have a lot of debt oryou just got laid off.
You can write down and just sayI feel despair on my financial
situation and then cross it outand write down how you would
like it to be.
Would like to feel financiallyabundant and successful.
Would like to have morefinancial freedom.
(21:56):
Maybe you want to have passiveincome.
Think about what you would likeand allow yourself to really
start playing in the world ofvisualizing new opportunities
that maybe you hadn't thought ofbefore.
I really like to use automaticwriting for this.
We're all just write down mychoice.
(22:16):
I choose financial freedom andthen I just get quiet and I use
automatic writing.
If you've never tried it, it'sin my new Somal Flow Healing
Library.
I did a hypnosis session sothat you could tap into the part
of your brain that knows how todo automatic writing.
It's really cool.
But then I also just want tobring up the gratitude, because
(22:37):
gratitude helps shift your focusfrom lack to abundance.
In that moment when my car wasbroken into, I was in a scarcity
mindset and it was a timescarcity.
Scarcity isn't just about money.
It can affect our relationshipto time as well, and I had a
full day of clients that I wasreally looking forward to seeing
(22:58):
that day.
So it wasn't just about theincome loss.
It was also about the loss ofgetting to spend time doing what
I love, and instead I had tospend time doing what I didn't
love, which was going throughthe whole process with the
police.
So gratitude.
(23:20):
What I started to do was focusedon what went well.
My laptop bag was sitting rightnext to my purse and I thought,
oh my God, I am so gratefulthey didn't get my laptop,
because that would havedestroyed me, that had my
business on it.
I'm so grateful they didn't getmy laptop and I'm so grateful
(23:41):
that I have, you know, adaughter who has a debit card
and I can just transfer money toher right now so I can get
around.
And then I have this beautifulfriend who's like standing with
me in my absolute nightmarishstate and holding space for me,
and not like shaming me orsaying, wow, why did you leave
(24:01):
your purse on the backseat, butjust like holding space and
supporting me in a way that wasso beautiful and so kind.
I was so grateful in thatmoment to have those gifts,
because bad things happen to allof us, but there's always a
moment of beauty in the chaosand we've got to hold on to the
(24:24):
beauty in the moment ofstrangers helping people.
Or there was a nice man thatwalked by and he said oh, those
thieves got into my locker lastweek and they broke into my
fully secured locker, took twoof my credit cards out of my
wallet and then replacedeverything else.
(24:44):
So I had no idea they hadgotten them and they took
$12,000 out of my credit cardsand I was like, oh wow, I'm
super grateful that I don't havethat to clean up.
At least I knew they broke inand it wasn't hidden from me.
And then I want to think aboutwhen you're dealing with
(25:08):
something that big, one of thethings that helped that when I
tapped into intuition, it wasone step at a time, it was
breaking it down, focusing on asmall thing.
I could do just one thing andjust like one card checking it
off the list and one bankaccount calling them and
checking it off the list, andyou know, one bank account
(25:29):
calling them and checking it offthe list, and then one other
thing, and then just one otherthing, instead of feeling the
enormity of it at all at onetime and that is what I asked my
higher self to do.
I'm like, just tell me the nextobvious action step, just the
next one.
And it became so much moremanageable because every time I
took action I started feeling mypower coming back.
(25:50):
I felt more empowered again,and that was a lesson for me on
many levels.
One I don't really like askingfor help, and sometimes I forget
to ask for help, and I think alot of us do, especially because
(26:10):
I'm a single mom.
I'm used to doing everything.
I have my own business.
I'm used to doing everything,and I've had a lot of problems
with hiring people Probably myown fault, but also a little bit
of problems in the industrythat I work in right now, but
also maybe not using myintuition enough in the hiring
(26:34):
process.
I can take full accountabilityfor my role in that, and so when
I think about those things,it's like breaking things down
into one step at a time, and ifany of you are dealing with like
big traumas or little traumasor anything in between, breaking
(26:55):
it down into one small thing ata time is probably the best
thing that you can do, becauseif you try to eat the whole pie
at once, it just makes you sickand you can't do it, so you've
got to just take one little biteat a time.
I want to mention one more thingabout gratitude.
It changes your chemical makeupin your body.
(27:18):
Sometimes, when we're in areally heightened emotional
state, it changes the way we seethe world.
It changes the chemistry in ourbody and so if you have despair
, which is a hormone runningthrough your body, then that's
going to create more despair.
So being able to interject aheavy dose of gratitude is
(27:44):
actually going to change thechemical makeup of your body and
allow you to respond in a muchdifferent way.
So we're not just talking aboutstepping into gratitude from
the perspective of, you know,shifting your emotional like
state, like oh, feel positive,or you know, it's not that what
it is is.
It's changing the way yourbrain chemistry is, so that you
(28:07):
can think more clearly and youcan tap into your intuition.
Fear blocks intuition.
Fear will always blockintuition.
Fear activates your old stories, your unconscious agenda.
It activates worry and anxiety.
None of those things helpcreate solutions.
(28:29):
They only help create more ofthe same problem.
So it's really important, evenin the thick of like something
bad, that you just shift yourmind a little bit and if you
can't get fully into gratitude.
You can just shift into askingquestions.
What would it take to make thissituation a little bit better
(28:50):
right now?
What would it take to make thissituation a little bit more in
my favor right now?
What would it take and justkeep asking yourself that
question, what would it take?
And that question alone isgoing to start shifting your
mind out of fight or flight andback into the more empowered,
(29:10):
problem-solving state.
So you might have a lot ofquestions about this.
I know I still have a lot ofquestions about this, because
I'm human and I still strugglewith keeping my mind focused on
where I'm going without likesuppressing and repressing
emotions and storing them up forlater in life.
I have a hard time alsoexperiencing the feelings that
(29:34):
I'm having and also stayingfocused on the end result
Because, like I said before, thecloser I get to having my
breakthrough, the moreresistance and the more fear
that comes up that I have towork through.
Ah, not have to.
Actually, I'm going to changethat and say that I choose to
Because I don't have to workthrough anything.
(29:54):
I could absolutely choose notto.
So I want to ask you how do youstop your mind from going back
to old problems.
So our minds love focusing onwhat they already know how to
solve.
They love it.
They love going back tofamiliar patterns, familiar
problems.
So, if you're like, why do Ifeel like my life is in
Groundhog's Day?
Why is it that I'm reliving thesame thing over and over again,
(30:19):
as crazy as it sounds?
It's because your brain knowshow to solve that problem.
So it's like.
I like solving problems.
I'm going to create the sameones that I know so that I can
keep feeling successful at it.
And this is where the magicreally needs to come into your
life.
Because if you notice thesepatterns underneath the radar,
(30:43):
then this is like whereawareness is really going to
help you out, because once younotice your mind drifting to the
past, gently redirect it byfocusing on the next small
action step towards your goal.
Practicing mindfulness ormeditation can also help reduce
these mental habits over time.
In fact, I just put up mymorning magic manifestation
(31:08):
meditation for the guess whatMornings that's on my YouTube
channel.
Now I'll put a link down below.
And isn't it important to learnfrom the past?
Absolutely Guess where I neverleave my purse?
Now, on the back seat.
I have now cleared out mybackpack, which is like I have a
hatchback.
(31:28):
I cleared it out because it wasfull of laundry before.
Like I said, I own a massageclinic and I thought, oh, it's
not a big deal, we don't havethat high of a crime rate.
I live in a great area, turnsout, people who live in not the
great area come in and like totake things from people who live
there.
So where you live doesn'treally matter.
(31:49):
Crime happens everywhere.
And the truth is, when I metwith my coach, she said you
still have to takeresponsibility for leaving your
purse on the back seat.
Yes, maybe you did itinnocently and you weren't
thinking about it, but that'syour part of the equation here,
and it was hard for me toswallow that, because I used to
(32:12):
be someone who rewrote otherpeople's bad behavior into a
positive on the fly, to thepoint where I could never spot
red flags.
So, consequence of growing upwith an alcoholic in the home, I
had to make like really badbehavior positive very quickly,
and so if you find yourselfdoing it, there's a very
(32:34):
legitimate reason why thathappens.
But that means we have to beeven more diligent with spotting
red flags and being aware ofthings, especially people who
have bad intentions.
So it's really important thatwe learn from these lessons from
the past and apply them to ourfuture focus.
(32:59):
So I promise you, my purse willnot be on my backseat ever
again.
In fact, I find it now a painthat I even have to think about
it, because I never used to haveto think about it before,
unless I was driving throughCalifornia, and then I was
always very diligent about it,and so part of me just didn't
want to recognize the state ofOregon's current crime rate.
Like I didn't want to reallyadmit how bad it had gotten here
(33:22):
and I wasn't really willing toacknowledge and accept that as a
truth and the fact that thatwas my part of it and I think
that really helped me just belike yes, you feel safe in the
world now.
You did a lot of work to feelsafe in the world.
However, there are still peoplewho have trauma and they are
(33:45):
inflicting their trauma onothers by stealing their stuff.
So we still live in a worldwhere that happens and I'm not
safe from that and that has tobe acknowledged.
And okay, that makes me notwhat is the right word I don't
want to say innocent, because Ilike that makes me not ignorant
(34:08):
to the state of the world andthat feels more empowered to me.
I used to think that that wouldmake me feel less empowered, but
actually, if, now that I'msaying it out loud, that makes
me feel more empowered to justaccept the way that the world is
, instead of thinking that itneeds to be anything different
than it currently is, needs tobe anything different than it
currently is.
(34:28):
So what if you can't think of asolution, like I was in that
state where I could not come upwith a solution right.
Like my brain was like I can'tdo this, calling a friend,
asking for help.
That's where you find someonethat you trust and they can help
you come up with a solution.
Most of the time, we have theanswer within us to any problem
(34:53):
that we have.
Our higher self already has theanswer, but our ego is so
creative and so crafty and sovery hell-bent on not changing
that it will find all kinds ofways to distract you from your
end result.
Having a coach, a friend, amentor, somebody who keeps you
(35:14):
focused, is a game changer.
I was so grateful that I had acoach who didn't mind calling me
out on my part, because thattakes some balls.
I'm not going to lie.
That takes some courage to belike well, what was your role in
it?
And I was like I just gotrobbed.
(35:34):
What do you mean?
What was my role in it?
And it was a conversation thatI needed to have.
There were some things that Ihadn't been taking
responsibility for in my life,and that was just one of them.
And it was a very big shift forme in being able to take
accountability for my currentstuff and not blaming it on some
(36:00):
of the old traumas that hadhappened in my life.
There was quite a few thingsthat I was like but it wasn't my
fault, like that happened to me.
And it was like, yeah, eventhough that stuff happened to me
, I now have to clean up themess because nobody else is
going to do it.
Like I'm not going to expect,you know, the burglars to come
back and clean up the glass,right, they're not going to do
that because they don't care.
(36:23):
How long does it take to retrainsomeone's mind?
That's a great question and Iwould say it depends on your
level of commitment andawareness.
It takes a tremendous amount ofconsistency.
I do this every day.
I mean it is an active dailyprocess for me, and it's not
(36:46):
like redirecting my mind is away of getting out of my
emotional state, because I alsobelieve in a very, very high
level of emotional intelligence,which means I really take time
to go.
How am I actually feeling andwhat are the results in my life
that might be telling me how I'mreally feeling, not how I think
I should be feeling, and thenwhat's in the way of it and what
(37:10):
do I need to do to remove thoseblocks and barriers so I can
keep going forward?
Now the recode to me isprobably one of the most
powerful tools I've learned inthe last several years about
removing those blocks, and itdoes take away the denseness and
the heaviness of the oldunconscious patterns.
But there's a certain amount ofheavy lifting that we have to
(37:30):
do ourselves, and that's habitchange right, like looking at
the future every morning.
I redirect my mind everymorning to what I'm focusing on
creating.
Even when things aren't workingout and it all seems like it's
falling apart, I'm still focusedon where I'm going and
constantly redirecting my mind,asking for help from others and
(37:54):
using my intuition more and moreand more to help guide me to
the best possible outcome formyself.
So I hope you learned somethingtoday, if you did drop me a
comment.
I was really struggling with howto take the future of my
podcast in alignment with thechanges I've made, because, as I
(38:19):
was really talking aboutrelationships a lot, I realized
that I wanted to talk about somuch more than just romantic
relationships.
I wanted to talk about myjourney with spirituality and
intuition, my mind-body healingmodalities and how powerful it
is when we engage the mind andthe body in the same process of
(38:40):
healing and how much faster wecan let go of our baggage than
you thought possible.
So I've changed the directionof the podcast to Soma Flow than
you thought possible.
So I've changed the directionof the podcast to Soma Flow,
which feels so much more alignedto me.
It definitely came throughdivine download the other day
while I was massaging someone,which is usually when I get the
best downloads, and I want tooffer that this is where I'm
(39:02):
taking the podcast.
I'm super excited about it, I'mexcited for you to be here and
I'm also excited to hear whatyou guys want to hear about.
Because here's the thing when Ifirst started getting into
intuition, I didn't know what Ididn't know.
So I'm just going to startsharing all of the things that I
didn't know.
I didn't know until I knew them, and I hope you enjoy the
(39:23):
journey, because I have afeeling a pretty strong one,
that a lot more people are goingto be getting spiritual bitch
slaps and they're going to beasked to step into their higher
calling and purpose a little bitmore aggressively than they
used to.
I feel like that's kind of whathappened to me.
I'm going to do a whole anotherepisode on that, but if you're
(39:47):
going through that divine stormin your life where you feel like
everything's falling apart, letme know what will help you, and
if you don't know what you needto know, drop me a comment,
because I'm pretty sure I couldhelp you, because when I was in
the thick of it, I remember justfeeling this sense of absolute
(40:10):
chaos in my life and lookingback, I can see now that it was
my higher self breaking throughand she was like you were meant
for so much more than this.
And I am stepping in and I'mgoing to throw some boulders at
you until you listen.
I was like free will my ass.
And then I found the journalentry where I gave her
(40:32):
permission.
So there's that.
Anyways, I hope you have a greatday and I hope that you take
this opportunity to focus onwhat you want to create, because
I want you to remember whereyour focus goes, your energy
flows and you want to reallyfocus your energy on the outcome
of what you want, not how youdon't want things to be, but
(40:54):
think about solutions.
Harness your energy to createthe life that you want.
Focus on the result, visualizeit happening now and take small
steps every day.
It's not a big climb up amountain, it's one small step
every day.
That's how intuition willawaken in your life.
(41:16):
It'll be fun and a joyfulunfolding of figuring out who
you really are outside of thishuman meat suit, and I promise
you it is so much more beautifuland expansive than you
previously thought, and you arecapable of some pretty cool
magic when your ego gets to turndown and your higher self comes
(41:40):
in.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me and I look
forward to connecting with youagain soon.
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