February 5, 2025 • 17 mins
Struggling to set boundaries without guilt? In this episode, Rae shares a somatic approach to boundary-setting, helping you establish limits that feel clear, aligned, and empowering. We'll dive into:
✅ What boundaries really are and how they create safety and respect
✅ The connection between people-pleasing, guilt, and weak boundaries
✅ How somatic awareness can help you trust your limits and communicate them with confidence
✅ Three body-based practices to help you set and hold boundaries effectively
By the end of this episode, you’ll have practical somatic tools to strengthen your boundaries, feel more confident in saying no, and navigate relationships from a place of self-trust.
Stand In Your Power: Breathwork + Boundaries on 2/13 at 7pm (EST)
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So before we dive into today'stopic, I have a few
announcements and I'll sharejust quickly about my trip to
(01:09):
Costa Rica, which was absolutelyamazing.
I would say that my top threehighlights.
The first was I got to gosurfing with my husband.
I took a lesson when we firstgot there and then I rented a
board for the week and so I wasable to just go out whenever I
wanted, which was really, reallyawesome, and they're all like
baby waves there, so I just gotto.
(01:31):
I didn't have to go out too far, which was great, and I got to
go out like almost every day, soit was absolutely so much fun.
I think I might try and surfthis summer.
I've never surfed down herewhere I live, so we'll see,
we'll see.
But I literally had the time ofmy life and I will definitely
be going back and I just loveCosta Rica so much.
(01:52):
And then the second favoritepart I would say was definitely
the nature and the animals.
I thought just like listeningto the birds we had this like
beautiful outside porch and justbeing able to like sit and read
on a storm and hear all thebirds and the monkeys and they
have these howler monkeys there,so they make these like crazy
(02:15):
big howls and it's just reallycool.
And then my third highlight wasI went to a few different yoga
classes while I was there, butone in particular with this
instructor named Hannah, and Imight ask her to come and be on
the podcast, but her class wasabsolutely amazing.
It was such a cool blend ofmovement with breathwork and
(02:38):
meditation.
And when I asked her more aboutwhere she learned this style of
yoga, she actually created it.
You know herself Like she tooka bunch of different
certifications and then createdher own style through all of her
different certifications.
So it was really really nice,really cool, really inspiring to
(02:58):
hear her story and I hope thatI can have her on the podcast
soon.
And two announcements I have foryou before we dive into today's
topic.
The first is that I can haveher on the podcast soon, and two
announcements I have for youbefore we dive into today's
topic.
The first is that I'm planningto rebrand the podcast, so that
will look like potentiallyupdating the name and also
moving back to weekly episodes.
(03:18):
So I'm excited for that.
Stay tuned.
I'm hoping that that will behappening by March, but we'll
see, we'll see.
So that's coming.
And then the second is thatbreathwork of the month is for
the month of February, is on the13th, and I'll leave all the
details for that in the shownotes.
All right.
So for today's episode, we'regoing to be chatting about a
(03:40):
topic that I absolutely love.
It comes up for myself in mypersonal life and with my
clients quite often, and that isboundaries.
So if you were to make your owndefinition of boundaries, what
would it be?
I think it's important for usto define words and I think a
word like boundaries can mean somany different things to
(04:02):
different people, becauseeveryone's.
How would you define the wordboundaries?
What would it look like for youpersonally?
According to Psychology Today,the definition for boundaries
that they have is thatboundaries define the physical,
emotional and psychologicalspace that you need to feel
(04:26):
comfortable, safe and respectedin your interactions with others
safe and respected in yourinteractions with others.
So boundaries can show up in somany different ways.
You know physical spacerelationships.
They can show up at work.
There can be emotionalboundaries.
So there's a lot that can go onin this topic of what
boundaries look like for eachperson and their unique lived
(04:48):
experience, and also havingstrong boundaries person and
their unique lived experience,and also having strong
boundaries and figuring out howto set those boundaries,
whatever they might look likefor you.
So boundaries can be prettychallenging and sometimes really
uncomfortable, especially ifyou have struggled with people
pleasing in the past orcurrently are, and if you've
(05:09):
ever felt guilty for settingboundaries or currently are, and
if you've ever felt guilty forsetting boundaries but they're
definitely not selfish.
They're there to help otherpeople and yourself really know
what your needs are.
So once you've started to setmore boundaries, or if you are
interested in doing that, theywill definitely be able to
(05:31):
strengthen your relationships,because all of the people
involved yourself and otherswill know exactly what your
needs are, and when that happens, it leads to less resentment,
less conflict and, ultimately,deeper connection and more
vulnerability.
So, although boundaries can besometimes challenging and
(05:55):
uncomfortable, they're reallygood for you to have.
They are what allows you tofeel safe, for you to feel
protected, and it will alsoallow you to build your
confidence.
So it does, you know, take time.
It can be a practice, especiallyif it's something that you've
previously struggled with or arecurrently struggling with.
(06:15):
It's a skill.
It's a skill that you can learn, that you can grow and that you
can adjust throughout thedifferent phases of your life.
For example, boundaries at workmight look a lot different than
the boundaries that you havewith your best friends.
Might look a lot different thanthe boundaries that you have
with your you know your bestfriends.
So, allowing those boundariesto be fluid and adjust based on
(06:36):
what you need and the differentphases of life that you're in.
And, specifically, if peoplepleasing or perfectionism is
something that you struggle with, remember to really be kind
with yourself when you'restarting to make changes.
So, if boundaries is somethingthat you've been working on, or
have been wanting to work onreally being kind with yourself,
(06:58):
it's not something that canchange overnight and it does
take time, and you also mightget it wrong a few times too,
and that's okay.
So being self-compassionate iskey when you're starting to look
at your personal boundaries andhow you want to change them.
And even for myself, this areaof boundaries is something that
I think I've grown a lot in thepast few years, something that
(07:24):
maybe in my 20s wasn't somethingthat I was really as conscious
of.
But then, as I got older and Ilearned more about people
pleasing and perfectionism andemotional healing, I realized
that there were moments where Iwould get really angry, and it
was because I don't think I hadawareness around what my
boundary was, and then, when aviolation would come, I would
(07:48):
get angry very fast instead ofbeing able to communicate it or
understand it, and so that'swhat we'll be diving into
towards the end of today'sepisode of just like how to set
boundaries, how to communicatethem.
Yeah, so it's something thatyou can definitely change and
build and grow over time.
(08:09):
So there are three somaticpractices I would love to share
with you, using a somaticapproach to set those boundaries
, change, adjust, feel into them, grow.
Just three practices that willhelp you with boundaries.
So the first is a way to bemindful when you're having an
(08:29):
interaction of some sort, sonoticing how your body feels in
the interaction.
You could do this in thepresent moment, if you have that
mindfulness already, and youcould also do this afterwards,
in reflection, because theawareness of being connected to
your body might be new for somepeople, and so you want to just
(08:50):
build this skill.
You know, however, whereveryou're at right now, so noticing
how your body feels in theinteraction.
You could do this in thepresent moment, or you could do
it afterwards, in reflection.
An example would be if you arein an interaction where you've
been people pleasing, so you'resacrificing your own needs to
(09:10):
make somebody else comfortable,or putting their needs first,
you might notice that your bodyis leaning forwards, so it's
leaning in to the conversation,it's leaning in to the
experience or that moment.
So what you'll want to do isadjust your body so you're going
to place your hand on yourheart and you're going to lean
(09:31):
your body back away from theinteraction, so physically
creating more space between youand the moment, and you have
your hand on your body toprotect yourself.
So this is somatically,physically, setting the boundary
between the interaction andyourself and it's also adding
that layer of protection.
(09:52):
Okay, and the second practicethis is something that I enjoy
doing often is, again, it's amindfulness, body-based practice
, so noticing where yourpersonal energy, where your
personal boundary begins andwhere it ends.
So this means that you will beable to feel the shape of your
body and feel the shape of yourpersonal energy.
(10:16):
So you can do this by closingyour eyes and visualizing and
feeling into the shape of yourbody, and even visualizing two
inches off of your body, and soyou'll see the shape of what
your energy might look like, andit could be any color, any
shape.
It might change, but this isyour personal space, this is
(10:38):
your personal energy.
You can even expand that ifyou're feeling like taking up
more space.
You can even contract that ifyou're feeling like that.
It feels good for you in thatmoment.
So it's something that can betitrated in and out, but
ultimately it's helping you tofeel safe, to take up space if
(10:59):
you want to, or feel moreprotected if you need that.
So having an idea of your ownfelt sense will amplify your
boundaries because you'll have adeeper connection to your body,
which leads me to the thirdpractice.
So the third practice is reallygaining clarity on what your yes
(11:20):
and what your no is in yourbody.
So this builds off of the othertwo practices that I just
mentioned, but you can do thisby asking yourself yes or no
questions and noticing how yourbody responds.
So you would take your timegoing through the questions
slowly and allowing your body togive you the response of yes or
(11:43):
no, and you're going to do thiswith questions that you know
are factual.
So am I wearing blue pantsright now?
Yes, I am.
Am I wearing a blue sweater?
Yes, I am.
Am I wearing black socks?
No, right now I'm wearing whitesocks.
So you're going to go throughthis process slowly and you can
(12:05):
even write down like five yesquestions and five no questions,
and what you're going to bedoing as you're responding
internally with those answers isyou're going to wait for your
body to give you a sensation, togive you a felt sense of what
that yes or what that no is, ofwhat that yes or what that no is
(12:26):
, and this will be reallyhelpful for you to gain clarity
on what your boundaries are froma felt sense.
So, taking these somaticpractices into your day-to-day
life, into your toolkit, how canyou now set boundaries that are
clear and firm and feel goodfor you?
So the first step is that youreally have to be clear on what
(12:47):
the boundary is and what yourpersonal needs are.
So you want to have clarity,you want to know exactly what
you need, and sometimes this cantake time, sometimes this takes
a few no's for you to realizelike, oh, that's a no for me and
that's okay, and so, yes,giving yourself the time, space
(13:08):
and grace to find and discoverwhat your needs are and what
your boundaries are.
And then the second is beingprepared for if your boundary
and what you're asked might beisn't met.
So what does it mean for you ifthis boundary cannot be set?
Is there flexibility?
(13:29):
Is it a non-negotiable?
Is it something that you'rereally firm on or like what is
it.
What would it feel like for youif that boundary couldn't be
respected?
And then the third is allowingyourself to communicate it.
So this really depends on thesituation and the moment that's
happening.
But it could look like aconversation, it could look like
(13:49):
being vulnerable with someoneand letting them know how you
feel.
If that's the case, then comingfrom a very, you know, safe and
compassionate and space that'srespectable for both parties.
It could also look like, ifthat's not the case, and it
could look like, in the moment,you have a boundary violation
(14:11):
and you need to protect yourself, and so you get angry and start
yelling, and I think that thereare moments where both are
completely appropriate,depending on the situation.
So obviously we're talkingabout a larger boundary
violation that would require youto get angry and yell, like
that is what you need to dosometimes to protect yourself.
(14:31):
And I think, if people pleasingor perfectionism or things need
to look a certain way, issomething that you've struggled
with.
This might not be somethingthat you've given yourself
permission to do, and I thinksometimes it's okay.
And then the fourth is if youneed to take a break, you know,
take your time.
You can absolutely do that.
(14:52):
You can tap in and out of aconversation if it's a, you know
, compassionate, safe space.
So scenario number one you knowif you need to take a break,
just do that.
And then the fifth step is youknow, definitely, if you feel
stuck, if you feel overwhelmed,if you feel like you need
support, reaching out forsupport.
Sometimes conversations can behard to navigate, vulnerability
(15:15):
can be hard to navigate, andboundaries Sometimes it's hard
to figure out exactly what yourneeds might be or what the
violation is, and so, having asense of support, it can really
be helpful if you're feelingstuck.
And so, ultimately, boundariesare really needed to provide you
with safety in your experience,to have your personal needs met
(15:38):
and allow yourself to standfirm in what feels good for you.
Having self-compassion isabsolutely necessary when doing
any kind of boundary work.
People pleasers andperfectionists.
Allow yourself the time tofigure this out with grace for
your personal process.
(15:59):
All right, so that is what wehave for today's episode.
So just a quick recap.
We talked about boundaries,setting our own definition of
what boundaries mean to you, howthey can be challenging and
some tips to navigate them.
We talked about some somaticpractices for setting boundaries
, and then we also talked abouthow to set them in a way that's
(16:20):
clear and firm and safe andcompassionate.
So, if you enjoyed thisconversation, this month's class
is all about boundaries andbreathwork.
It's called Stand in your Power.
It's going to be a workshop.
We'll combine breathwork,journaling, somatic exploration
to build awareness and have afelt sense of in the body of
(16:41):
what it feels like to have firmboundaries.
So thank you so much for tuninginto today's episode.
I always have so much funrecording these for you.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
(17:05):
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam.
So if you are moved or inspired, please share with me by
leaving a rating and review onapple podcast.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
instagram and tiktok and followme at ray the somatic coach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
(17:25):
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can't wait to talk with
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So before we dive into today'stopic, I have a few
announcements and I'll sharejust quickly about my trip to
(01:09):
Costa Rica, which was absolutelyamazing.
I would say that my top threehighlights.
The first was I got to gosurfing with my husband.
I took a lesson when we firstgot there and then I rented a
board for the week and so I wasable to just go out whenever I
wanted, which was really, reallyawesome, and they're all like
baby waves there, so I just gotto.
(01:31):
I didn't have to go out too far, which was great, and I got to
go out like almost every day, soit was absolutely so much fun.
I think I might try and surfthis summer.
I've never surfed down herewhere I live, so we'll see,
we'll see.
But I literally had the time ofmy life and I will definitely
be going back and I just loveCosta Rica so much.
(01:52):
And then the second favoritepart I would say was definitely
the nature and the animals.
I thought just like listeningto the birds we had this like
beautiful outside porch and justbeing able to like sit and read
on a storm and hear all thebirds and the monkeys and they
have these howler monkeys there,so they make these like crazy
(02:15):
big howls and it's just reallycool.
And then my third highlight wasI went to a few different yoga
classes while I was there, butone in particular with this
instructor named Hannah, and Imight ask her to come and be on
the podcast, but her class wasabsolutely amazing.
It was such a cool blend ofmovement with breathwork and
(02:38):
meditation.
And when I asked her more aboutwhere she learned this style of
yoga, she actually created it.
You know herself Like she tooka bunch of different
certifications and then createdher own style through all of her
different certifications.
So it was really really nice,really cool, really inspiring to
(02:58):
hear her story and I hope thatI can have her on the podcast
soon.
And two announcements I have foryou before we dive into today's
topic.
The first is that I can haveher on the podcast soon, and two
announcements I have for youbefore we dive into today's
topic.
The first is that I'm planningto rebrand the podcast, so that
will look like potentiallyupdating the name and also
moving back to weekly episodes.
(03:18):
So I'm excited for that.
Stay tuned.
I'm hoping that that will behappening by March, but we'll
see, we'll see.
So that's coming.
And then the second is thatbreathwork of the month is for
the month of February, is on the13th, and I'll leave all the
details for that in the shownotes.
All right.
So for today's episode, we'regoing to be chatting about a
(03:40):
topic that I absolutely love.
It comes up for myself in mypersonal life and with my
clients quite often, and that isboundaries.
So if you were to make your owndefinition of boundaries, what
would it be?
I think it's important for usto define words and I think a
word like boundaries can mean somany different things to
(04:02):
different people, becauseeveryone's.
How would you define the wordboundaries?
What would it look like for youpersonally?
According to Psychology Today,the definition for boundaries
that they have is thatboundaries define the physical,
emotional and psychologicalspace that you need to feel
(04:26):
comfortable, safe and respectedin your interactions with others
safe and respected in yourinteractions with others.
So boundaries can show up in somany different ways.
You know physical spacerelationships.
They can show up at work.
There can be emotionalboundaries.
So there's a lot that can go onin this topic of what
boundaries look like for eachperson and their unique lived
(04:48):
experience, and also havingstrong boundaries person and
their unique lived experience,and also having strong
boundaries and figuring out howto set those boundaries,
whatever they might look likefor you.
So boundaries can be prettychallenging and sometimes really
uncomfortable, especially ifyou have struggled with people
pleasing in the past orcurrently are, and if you've
(05:09):
ever felt guilty for settingboundaries or currently are, and
if you've ever felt guilty forsetting boundaries but they're
definitely not selfish.
They're there to help otherpeople and yourself really know
what your needs are.
So once you've started to setmore boundaries, or if you are
interested in doing that, theywill definitely be able to
(05:31):
strengthen your relationships,because all of the people
involved yourself and otherswill know exactly what your
needs are, and when that happens, it leads to less resentment,
less conflict and, ultimately,deeper connection and more
vulnerability.
So, although boundaries can besometimes challenging and
(05:55):
uncomfortable, they're reallygood for you to have.
They are what allows you tofeel safe, for you to feel
protected, and it will alsoallow you to build your
confidence.
So it does, you know, take time.
It can be a practice, especiallyif it's something that you've
previously struggled with or arecurrently struggling with.
(06:15):
It's a skill.
It's a skill that you can learn, that you can grow and that you
can adjust throughout thedifferent phases of your life.
For example, boundaries at workmight look a lot different than
the boundaries that you havewith your best friends.
Might look a lot different thanthe boundaries that you have
with your you know your bestfriends.
So, allowing those boundariesto be fluid and adjust based on
(06:36):
what you need and the differentphases of life that you're in.
And, specifically, if peoplepleasing or perfectionism is
something that you struggle with, remember to really be kind
with yourself when you'restarting to make changes.
So, if boundaries is somethingthat you've been working on, or
have been wanting to work onreally being kind with yourself,
(06:58):
it's not something that canchange overnight and it does
take time, and you also mightget it wrong a few times too,
and that's okay.
So being self-compassionate iskey when you're starting to look
at your personal boundaries andhow you want to change them.
And even for myself, this areaof boundaries is something that
I think I've grown a lot in thepast few years, something that
(07:24):
maybe in my 20s wasn't somethingthat I was really as conscious
of.
But then, as I got older and Ilearned more about people
pleasing and perfectionism andemotional healing, I realized
that there were moments where Iwould get really angry, and it
was because I don't think I hadawareness around what my
boundary was, and then, when aviolation would come, I would
(07:48):
get angry very fast instead ofbeing able to communicate it or
understand it, and so that'swhat we'll be diving into
towards the end of today'sepisode of just like how to set
boundaries, how to communicatethem.
Yeah, so it's something thatyou can definitely change and
build and grow over time.
(08:09):
So there are three somaticpractices I would love to share
with you, using a somaticapproach to set those boundaries
, change, adjust, feel into them, grow.
Just three practices that willhelp you with boundaries.
So the first is a way to bemindful when you're having an
(08:29):
interaction of some sort, sonoticing how your body feels in
the interaction.
You could do this in thepresent moment, if you have that
mindfulness already, and youcould also do this afterwards,
in reflection, because theawareness of being connected to
your body might be new for somepeople, and so you want to just
(08:50):
build this skill.
You know, however, whereveryou're at right now, so noticing
how your body feels in theinteraction.
You could do this in thepresent moment, or you could do
it afterwards, in reflection.
An example would be if you arein an interaction where you've
been people pleasing, so you'resacrificing your own needs to
(09:10):
make somebody else comfortable,or putting their needs first,
you might notice that your bodyis leaning forwards, so it's
leaning in to the conversation,it's leaning in to the
experience or that moment.
So what you'll want to do isadjust your body so you're going
to place your hand on yourheart and you're going to lean
(09:31):
your body back away from theinteraction, so physically
creating more space between youand the moment, and you have
your hand on your body toprotect yourself.
So this is somatically,physically, setting the boundary
between the interaction andyourself and it's also adding
that layer of protection.
(09:52):
Okay, and the second practicethis is something that I enjoy
doing often is, again, it's amindfulness, body-based practice
, so noticing where yourpersonal energy, where your
personal boundary begins andwhere it ends.
So this means that you will beable to feel the shape of your
body and feel the shape of yourpersonal energy.
(10:16):
So you can do this by closingyour eyes and visualizing and
feeling into the shape of yourbody, and even visualizing two
inches off of your body, and soyou'll see the shape of what
your energy might look like, andit could be any color, any
shape.
It might change, but this isyour personal space, this is
(10:38):
your personal energy.
You can even expand that ifyou're feeling like taking up
more space.
You can even contract that ifyou're feeling like that.
It feels good for you in thatmoment.
So it's something that can betitrated in and out, but
ultimately it's helping you tofeel safe, to take up space if
(10:59):
you want to, or feel moreprotected if you need that.
So having an idea of your ownfelt sense will amplify your
boundaries because you'll have adeeper connection to your body,
which leads me to the thirdpractice.
So the third practice is reallygaining clarity on what your yes
(11:20):
and what your no is in yourbody.
So this builds off of the othertwo practices that I just
mentioned, but you can do thisby asking yourself yes or no
questions and noticing how yourbody responds.
So you would take your timegoing through the questions
slowly and allowing your body togive you the response of yes or
(11:43):
no, and you're going to do thiswith questions that you know
are factual.
So am I wearing blue pantsright now?
Yes, I am.
Am I wearing a blue sweater?
Yes, I am.
Am I wearing black socks?
No, right now I'm wearing whitesocks.
So you're going to go throughthis process slowly and you can
(12:05):
even write down like five yesquestions and five no questions,
and what you're going to bedoing as you're responding
internally with those answers isyou're going to wait for your
body to give you a sensation, togive you a felt sense of what
that yes or what that no is, ofwhat that yes or what that no is
(12:26):
, and this will be reallyhelpful for you to gain clarity
on what your boundaries are froma felt sense.
So, taking these somaticpractices into your day-to-day
life, into your toolkit, how canyou now set boundaries that are
clear and firm and feel goodfor you?
So the first step is that youreally have to be clear on what
(12:47):
the boundary is and what yourpersonal needs are.
So you want to have clarity,you want to know exactly what
you need, and sometimes this cantake time, sometimes this takes
a few no's for you to realizelike, oh, that's a no for me and
that's okay, and so, yes,giving yourself the time, space
(13:08):
and grace to find and discoverwhat your needs are and what
your boundaries are.
And then the second is beingprepared for if your boundary
and what you're asked might beisn't met.
So what does it mean for you ifthis boundary cannot be set?
Is there flexibility?
(13:29):
Is it a non-negotiable?
Is it something that you'rereally firm on or like what is
it.
What would it feel like for youif that boundary couldn't be
respected?
And then the third is allowingyourself to communicate it.
So this really depends on thesituation and the moment that's
happening.
But it could look like aconversation, it could look like
(13:49):
being vulnerable with someoneand letting them know how you
feel.
If that's the case, then comingfrom a very, you know, safe and
compassionate and space that'srespectable for both parties.
It could also look like, ifthat's not the case, and it
could look like, in the moment,you have a boundary violation
(14:11):
and you need to protect yourself, and so you get angry and start
yelling, and I think that thereare moments where both are
completely appropriate,depending on the situation.
So obviously we're talkingabout a larger boundary
violation that would require youto get angry and yell, like
that is what you need to dosometimes to protect yourself.
(14:31):
And I think, if people pleasingor perfectionism or things need
to look a certain way, issomething that you've struggled
with.
This might not be somethingthat you've given yourself
permission to do, and I thinksometimes it's okay.
And then the fourth is if youneed to take a break, you know,
take your time.
You can absolutely do that.
(14:52):
You can tap in and out of aconversation if it's a, you know
, compassionate, safe space.
So scenario number one you knowif you need to take a break,
just do that.
And then the fifth step is youknow, definitely, if you feel
stuck, if you feel overwhelmed,if you feel like you need
support, reaching out forsupport.
Sometimes conversations can behard to navigate, vulnerability
(15:15):
can be hard to navigate, andboundaries Sometimes it's hard
to figure out exactly what yourneeds might be or what the
violation is, and so, having asense of support, it can really
be helpful if you're feelingstuck.
And so, ultimately, boundariesare really needed to provide you
with safety in your experience,to have your personal needs met
(15:38):
and allow yourself to standfirm in what feels good for you.
Having self-compassion isabsolutely necessary when doing
any kind of boundary work.
People pleasers andperfectionists.
Allow yourself the time tofigure this out with grace for
your personal process.
(15:59):
All right, so that is what wehave for today's episode.
So just a quick recap.
We talked about boundaries,setting our own definition of
what boundaries mean to you, howthey can be challenging and
some tips to navigate them.
We talked about some somaticpractices for setting boundaries
, and then we also talked abouthow to set them in a way that's
(16:20):
clear and firm and safe andcompassionate.
So, if you enjoyed thisconversation, this month's class
is all about boundaries andbreathwork.
It's called Stand in your Power.
It's going to be a workshop.
We'll combine breathwork,journaling, somatic exploration
to build awareness and have afelt sense of in the body of
(16:41):
what it feels like to have firmboundaries.
So thank you so much for tuninginto today's episode.
I always have so much funrecording these for you.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
(17:05):
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam.
So if you are moved or inspired, please share with me by
leaving a rating and review onapple podcast.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
instagram and tiktok and followme at ray the somatic coach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
(17:25):
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can't wait to talk with
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
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